April 22, 2025 • 34 mins
Send us a Text Message and suggest a topic or guest!
What happens when a 10-year-old girl shares her wisdom about family organization? Pure gold. In this refreshingly honest conversation, my daughter, Aniston, joins me to reveal how our weekly "family huddle" has transformed our home life over six years and 200+ meetings.
The weekly family huddle transforms family life by creating order, reducing anxiety, and unifying family members around shared priorities.
• Family huddles follow a simple structure
• The family mission statement prioritizes values in order
• Children experience reduced anxiety when they know what's happening in the upcoming week
• Family meetings don't need to be complex - start with just 20 minutes focused on calendar planning
• The weekly ritual creates unity
Please share this episode with people in your circle. If you're not doing a family huddle already, visit our website for a free handout that tells you how to start your own family huddle. We also have a more robust bundle called the Huddle Up bundle with videos and downloadables.
The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load.
Give $20 to keep the mic on. We're a 501 c(3) non-profit and produce this show for parents around the globe.
Discover the secrets to building a connected + thriving family. All you'll need is a few minutes of your week—it's easy!
Looking for things to combat boredom and bolster growth in your kids? Check out our Tame the Tech Bundle and the Best Me I Can Be Journal!
our website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, parents, welcome back.
Listen today on our show.
We are talking with a guestthat we've had on two years ago,
actually a fan favorite.
Welcome back to the showAniston Langdon.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, thank you for having me back.
It has been almost two years,as she said, and I'm very
excited to be back on your showMom.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Did you hear that?
She said Mom, that's right,this is our 10-year-old daughter
.
Last time we had her on theshow was episode 44, very early
in our season, when she was justeight years old.
So we thought it would be funto jump back on the mic and talk
about the same topic, theweekly family huddle, or you
(00:50):
might call it a weekly familymeeting.
But we've been having thesehuddles, these little meetings,
with our family since 2019.
Y'all, that's been six yearsfrom the date of this recording.
That means we have logged over200 plus family huddles once a
(01:11):
week.
On Sundays is when we have thesemeetings, and so I just wanted
to ask Annie what herperspective is as a child who's
been participating in this sinceshe was just four years old.
So, aniston, tell us first ofall a little bit about the
(01:33):
family huddle.
Like if somebody was a fly onthe wall in our living room on a
Sunday when we're having ourfamily huddle, what would they
see is happening?
Kind of.
Take us through how thesefamily huddles.
What would they see ishappening?
Kind of.
Take us through how thesefamily huddles happen and what
they consist of.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, the family meetings consist of a prayer at
the beginning.
My dad normally just pickswhoever he wants.
It's a nice gentle prayer.
We're asking God to help uswith the family meeting and
everything that we're going todo in it.
And then after that we do ourfamily mission statement, which
(02:11):
we'll get to later.
And then after that we go intoour calendar and we go about
maybe two to three weeks outjust saying what we're doing,
and then we just kind of go overthe things that might be a
little blurry, like we mighthave a half day at school and we
don't know what time we'regetting picked up, or maybe free
(02:34):
dress at school or somethingthat we have to figure out
beforehand.
So that's really what we do.
And then after that we do alittle prayer thanking God for
what we had in our familymeeting.
So that's kind of just the basebasic of our family meeting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So you said, it starts with a prayer, a simple,
just a prayer, asking God tohelp us with whatever it is
we're going to discuss in ourmeeting.
And then we talk about our, orwe review our family mission
statement that's right which wealso created in 2019.
We say it together, as a wholefamily.
(03:12):
We cast this mission statementup on our TV from our computer
screen and so we can read ittogether and follow along.
And then we look at ourcalendar right, we share a
Google calendar.
My husband and I contribute bothto this calendar.
As things come up in our email,we learn new things about the
school calendar, our workcalendar, social activities,
(03:35):
birthday parties, the calendarup on our screen, on our TV
screen.
We just use a simple HDMI cordto connect our laptop computer
to the TV and it works really,really well.
That way, aniston, 10, and herbrother, lincoln, who's 13, can
(03:58):
both see how the digitalcalendar works and they can
follow along as we go day by day, leading a kind of and learning
about the calendar and whatactivities we have coming ahead
of us.
So, annie, who is the leader ofthese family huddles?
The?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
leader of the family meetings is my dad, because he's
more organized than most of us,at least, and also he just he
can guide us through thecalendar, he can drive, he has
all this stuff for the familymeeting and so he leads us
(04:38):
through it.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
When you talk about he can drive, what do you mean
by that?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
well, because on the calendar there is things most of
the things on there we have todrive for, and so Lincoln can't
drive, nor can I, so you guyshave to pitch in and you guys
have to drive for us, I guess.
So you guys are the main partof the whole calendar getting
(05:05):
you from place to place.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah, your dad also drives the computer during the
family huddle, right?
Yeah, he kind of sits in adifferent spot where he has a
good angle on the TV and he useshis old mouse and he drives the
computer and drives us, youknow, around the calendar so
that we can see what's going on.
And he also helps to just guidediscussion, which is such a big
(05:29):
help in my opinion, because, asa mom, I know one of the most
frustrating things for me foryears was feeling like a team of
one.
I constantly felt like I wasthe only one who knew what was
on the family calendar, and sothe burden was on me, when
people didn't know what wasgoing on, to share that
(05:49):
information with them.
And so the beautiful thingabout having Josh be the leader
of our family huddles is that heis leading the family through
the discussion about thecalendar, and he is an equal
part of knowing what we havegoing on.
Now, annie, what do you thinkare some of the biggest benefits
(06:13):
to having a weekly familyhuddle?
Every single Sunday, we meet upand have these huddles.
So, as a child, how do youbenefit from these meetings?
A child, how do you benefitfrom these meetings?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, one of the benefits is the organization,
just like you're knowing that,the family meeting.
We go to church, then we comehome, we have brunch, then we go
and get to the family meeting.
Having it in order, just thatmakes just life more orderly.
(06:45):
And then also it just helpsbeing prepared for the week.
If I don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow, then I get
stressed, or then I have to askat nighttime when I have to go
to bed.
I have to ask what's going onthis whole week, and then it
just takes up more time and thenit just takes up more time.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And so I just think, if you take just maybe 30
minutes to an hour, you can haveorganization, preparation and
really whatever you really needto move on for the week.
That is a great benefit tobeing orderly.
You said it helps, like thewhole family be more orderly and
it helps reduce your worries.
Did you hear that y'all Kidsworry about what's coming next
(07:32):
if they don't really know?
And so, annie, besides ourcalendar being launched up on
the TV during our family huddle,where else can you go in our
house to take a glimpse of ourweekly calendar and see what's
going on for the upcoming days?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Well, we have a little magnetic calendar on our
fridge that has everything weneed on it for the days.
It tells us who's driving us toschool, who's taking us back
from school, if it's a half day,if it's not, if it's free dress
or it's not.
It tells us basicallyeverything we need for that day,
(08:12):
and my mom even writes whatfood we're having for the night,
because we always ask herwhat's for dinner?
What's for dinner?
That's like the main questionafter school.
So if we know everything,everything what's happening,
it's just more orderly, moreprioritized and, yeah, it just
(08:33):
really is helpful for me.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Awesome.
So we just have a simple dryerase calendar, y'all.
We get it on, we got it onAmazon.
We've had it for two yearsalready and Saturday mornings I
get up, have my coffee and Ijust load that calendar with
everything that's in our Googlecalendar, just right there on
the dry erase calendar, and thenI put it on the fridge because
(08:56):
guess what?
Everybody's getting in thefridge all the time.
Right, it's a common place wego to feed ourselves.
So the kitchen is such a goodplace to launch a weekly
calendar and just keep it up sothat everyone can go to it and
see it and there doesn't have tobe so many conversations
(09:19):
verbally about what's going on,but instead you can orient
everyone to the week just bylooking at your calendar on the
fridge.
So good, what is like maybeyour favorite part of the family
huddle, you think?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Probably the mission statement and the calendar.
It's kind of hard but like the,both of those are really like
enjoyable.
The family mission statementever since my dad told me like
the actual meaning of it, itreally helped me because we have
seven like topics, I guess,which is God, spouse, family,
(09:59):
friends, career and learning,health and environment, which
all of those are reallyimportant but we have leveled
them from the best to the maybenot as much, but we still need
to hold that.
And my dad, he showed me like alittle picture of what it
(10:20):
actually means.
God is at the top, he's thetippy top of the triangle, he's
the one just like sitting upthere he's doing his job, he's
doing it all, and then spouse isholding him up.
He's the next level down, thenext level, the next level, and
then the base is environment andhealth.
Those are the ones we need tokeep the most, Because if we
(10:43):
don't keep those the most, thenwhen we get to the tippy top,
the best part, it's going tokind of just fall down.
If we don't have the base, thenwe don't got the top.
So I think I really do like thefamily mission statement.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yes, we have seven categories that we prioritize in
our family, annie, and you'reright, you're talking about kind
of them being in a proper order, because not everything is
equal right.
In family life.
There are some things that aremore important than others, and
we happen to believe that God isnumber one, right.
(11:20):
If it weren't for God, wewouldn't even be here.
So it's so important for us toremind ourselves that God is
number one in our lives asindividuals and in our family.
And then the second in order isspouse, right, and so why do
you think spouse comes beforethe whole family?
(11:41):
Why do you think myrelationship with your dad is
even higher than my relationshipwith you and Lincoln and Parker
?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Well, I think there's a pretty clear answer on that,
but there's also not reallyclear because it's just like,
for kids it's really hard, likewhy doesn't, why don't we have
dates with our parents?
Why aren't we always with them?
But it's a really strongrelationship between a husband
(12:10):
and a wife and I think that isthe biggest bond you can have
between human and that is one ofthe parts that I'm looking
forward to in my life to come.
And and I think that is areally good thing that spouse is
above family, just because ifwe didn't have, if I didn't have
my parents you, you and dad Iwouldn't be alive.
(12:35):
So if you guys can celebratewith a date or with whatever you
guys are doing day, a dinner,breakfast, uh, out, I don't know
it always it's just the biggestbond between human, in my
opinion.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Wow, y'all this is just off the cuff, I'm telling
you.
We are sitting in the podcastroom.
Annie actually has pneumonia atthis point and she is home sick
for the day.
But she said, mom, I feel likegetting on the microphone and
talking about the family huddle.
Could we do that?
I said, well, why not?
So this is very much a liveconversation here, no practicing
(13:18):
or rehearsing or talking aboutwhat we're going to say.
And that was amazing that youjust said that the bond between
a husband and wife is like themost important bond between two
humans.
Whoa, I think you're right.
I think you're right about that, and just this idea that you
(13:39):
are looking forward to that inyour own life, at age 10, is
really special for me to hear asa mom.
So thank you for sharing that.
We have been dating each otherin married life since 2019.
Now, don't laugh, because we'vebeen married 20 years and prior
(13:59):
to six years ago, we were nothaving scheduled dates.
Josh and I, we were very muchgoing and running and, you know,
passing each other like twoships in the night, and we're
very much focused on just ourkids' activities, and then we'd
be so exhausted that it was like, how are we even going to go on
(14:22):
a date, or what do we even doif we go on a date?
And it was back in 2019, whenwe created our family mission
statement and realized theimportance of ordering
priorities in our family and howour marriage had slipped down
to the bottom of that list, thatwe decided to prioritize dating
(14:44):
each other as a married couple.
Prioritize dating each other asa married couple.
So Annie is talking about yes,we know that our parents are
going on dates because it's onthe calendar and we talk about
it once a week in the familyhuddle.
So you guys will see that momand dad have a date night out at
a restaurant, or mom and dadare meeting up with another
(15:04):
couple to do a double date, ordad's got a massage planned for
mom on the calendar, right, thathappens right in our own home.
We have prioritized dating eachother in married life and our
kids have benefited from it.
I know it.
Plus, you guys get a littletime by yourself when we're away
too right, yes, okay.
(15:27):
So, annie, do you think youcould try no pressure, but do
you think you could try torecite our family mission
statement just to the best ofyour ability?
It doesn't have to be perfect,but do you want to give it a try
?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sure, I'll try it.
So we say the family missionstatement established 2019.
God we know and love God, theFather.
We follow Jesus as our exampleand we call on the Holy Spirit
to guide us in our daily lives.
Spouse, we serve each other togrow in love.
(16:01):
We work as one to move thefamily forward.
Family we've got each other'sbacks.
We are interactive, fun andadventurous Friends.
We are intentional andauthentic in our friendships.
We share in our friends' joysand support them through our
struggles, career and learning.
Our work is rooted in serviceto others.
(16:22):
We are both mentors and mentees.
We work hard and are generouswith what we earn.
We learn the truth and arelifelong learners.
Health we treat our body asGod's temple by eating healthy,
staying active and getting goodsleep.
Environment we work together tomaintain a safe, orderly and
welcoming home, so we areprepared to serve anyone who
(16:44):
visits us.
We treat other environments aswe do our own home, wow you got
it Nice job, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
That's it.
Folks, we recite that once aweek.
Kids have the ability tomemorize this.
We aren't drilling them with it.
We aren't practicing this.
We didn't, you know, do somerecitation performance for
people.
This is just something we putup on our TV during our family
huddles and we say it aloud as afamily one time and then we
(17:21):
move on to reviewing ourcalendar for the week.
Annie, why do you think we havea mission statement?
What do you think this missionstatement helps us with?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Well, the mission statement, I think, helps us.
It's like a passage from, it'slike a verse from a Bible.
It tells us, kind of like Isaid, what's in order, from top
to bottom, which one's the best,which one's the least, and it
(17:56):
tells us what each of thosesubjects mean.
Like God, it's telling us thatGod, we know and we love God,
the Father, we follow Jesus asour example and we call on the
Holy Spirit to guide us in ourdaily lives.
We are telling ourselves thatwe are, that we have to work on
(18:21):
this, or we.
It's like basically what thefamily mission statement is on
this, or we.
It's like basically what thefamily mission statement is is.
It is a little cheat sheetbecause it just tells us
basically what can help us, likespouse, we, we have to love our
spouse, god, we have to loveGod.
We have to love our family,friends, we have to, we have to
(18:43):
work hard.
Career and learning.
And the reason why it's careerand learning is because, um, we
don't me and Lincoln don'treally have a career yet.
We, we're gonna work towards acareer, but right now we're
learning from school, um, and sowe kind of had to switch things
(19:04):
up a little.
And then if you guys make yourown family mission statement,
you just have to add in your ownstuff Like what is our top
priority?
What is our bottom?
Like baseline basics here, likeenvironment, we have to keep
our home the exact same as weare going to keep other people's
(19:26):
house.
If we're going to jump on thecouches at our house, why would
we do that at other people'shouse?
Like my parents would not letme jump on our couch, so we
should not do that at otherpeople's house.
So I think the quality and themeaning of the family mission
statement is just to help uslike learn of, like more stuff.
(19:50):
Like we got to just dig deepinto the hard stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I love how you said it helps us to prioritize and
that it really helps us.
It's kind of like a verse fromscripture.
You said it gives us somethingto orient our minds to so that
we know what's most important inour family and what to how we
can grow right in thesedifferent seven areas.
(20:18):
And that's exactly what afamily mission statement is all
about.
It is identifying what thingsare most important to you as an
individual family.
Right, we can all be sharingthe same last name we're team
Langdon over here but we mightbe focused on very different
(20:41):
things as individuals, andthat's where division happens in
the family.
It happens between husband andwife and it happens between
parents and children, wheneverybody's just sort of has
their own agenda and they havetheir own things that they like
doing and that they are focusedon and prefer to grow in.
(21:02):
That is where thisindividualism happens in
families and things start toreally break down.
And so our family missionstatement unifies us.
It helps to remind us whatwe're going for right.
For us, the end game is heaven.
That is our ultimate finishline as a team, and so it makes
(21:25):
sense to put God at theforefront of that, and then to
nurture our marriage comessecond, because if we aren't
nurturing our marriage then ourrelationship with our kids is
strained.
Because in a married union,right Between husband and wife,
um, one of the most difficultthings that pulls at us is when
(21:49):
we are not getting along.
If we're not getting along orwe're having trouble
communicating with each other,we're at odds with each other.
It's very difficult toconcentrate at work.
It's very hard to be calm,patient and responsive at the
home.
So we got to put that numbertwo and then the third family.
(22:09):
We have to work as a familyunit to build unity.
Family dinners how often do weeat dinner around the dinner
table?
Annie, together.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Mostly every day.
Sometimes Saturdays are kind ofour day off, kind of leftovers
and all that stuff.
But like that, just that little, like 45 minutes is really
helpful just to talk to eachother.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yes, so we prioritize family dinners, right, even if
we get home late from a game orwe have, you know, sports
practices or meetings.
We make it a priority to sitdown without the TV and just
have a conversation while we'reat the table.
Sometimes we bring up thatlittle box of cards, don't we?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yes, family talking points.
We just draw a card out and itjust like gives us a little like
thing to talk about.
Maybe we had a rough day and wedon't want to talk, or like
this, this little like card justhelps us kind of like to just
speak, you know.
So like some of them are likewhat's, what is your favorite
(23:18):
animal and what would you do toget it, or like there's some
like crazy stuff in there, youknow, to just get like a rolling
conversation on.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yes, we love that.
So conversation cards are goodto keep at your dinner table to
get just get a new topic broughtup Right.
And then we talk about, youknow, making our friends a
priority too, and one of thethings in our mission statement
we talk about is that we supportour friends through their
struggles and we help ourfriends celebrate things that
(23:52):
they're happy to haveaccomplished.
And so, again, if you'rereading this every week, it
helps your kids, too, to orienttheir relationships to what is
good and true and beautiful.
So reminding them that whenthey're at school, that if
something rough is happeningwith their friends, that they
support their friends Ifsomebody wants to celebrate
(24:16):
something that they're part ofthat, that that's one of the
things team Langdon reallyvalues is friends and treating
our friends well.
And then we talk about ourcareer and learning All right
career.
It's important for our kids toknow that, yes, we are leaders
(24:36):
in our jobs and our careers.
My husband is a financialadvisor and has his own practice
where he's his own boss.
I am the CEO and parent coachhere at Families of Character,
and so I lead my team, but wealso want our kids to know that
not only are we mentoring others.
(24:57):
But we are mentees, right, wehave mentors that we go to for
regular direction and guidance,mentors that we go to for
regular direction and guidanceand coaching, and so just laying
that groundwork for them andthey hear us talk about that in
our family huddles, they see itplaying out in real life.
They can look forward to thatas well.
Giving and getting back right.
(25:22):
And then we talk about health.
Right, we treat our body asGod's temple by eating healthy
and getting good sleep.
Every time we say this y'all, Ithink we're like, uh-oh, we're
not doing so well in that, right, annie?
Yeah, because we mess up, weeat out too much or we get on
these sugar kicks where we're,you know, eating too much sugar
(25:46):
or we haven't exercised, andthat's okay, because every week
when we look at that, we'rereminded that, oh, we can do
something about that, we can dosomething better.
You know, going forward.
And that's the beauty of afamily mission statement.
If you had it all figured out,you wouldn't need one.
So reviewing it and justreminding each other what we're
(26:07):
working on together, even ifwe're really slacking in that
thing, helps to orient us.
And then we talk about ourenvironment, because taking care
of your home environment isvery important.
We just recently interviewedsomeone on our podcast about
decluttering and the state ofyour home and just having order
in your home.
(26:28):
And you know it's true that theway your physical environment
is affects your mentalwell-being, and so we talked
about how the family missionstatement really helps to
decrease anxiety in kids,because you know what's coming.
Decrease anxiety in kidsbecause you know what's coming.
(26:48):
Same thing about the physicalenvironment of home is, if it is
very cluttered, messy, dirty,it's very hard for you to focus
on what you need to focus on inthe home.
And so we work together as ateam to really have order in our
house, and the purpose of it isalso so that we can be prepared
to serve anyone who visits usright, anyone who comes over or
(27:10):
wants to bounce in spontaneously.
We can fully attend to thembecause we're not worried about
oh goodness, there's trasheverywhere or, you know, we're
just so embarrassed about how itlooks here.
It's like we just keep it tidyon a regular basis.
Then we can be fully present toour guests when they come.
Annie, you did a great job onthat family mission statement.
(27:33):
What else do you have to sayabout the family huddle.
I'm thinking you're forgettingsomething that you talked about
in our last one, which is thevery last thing we do in our
huddle.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh, I kind of forgot about that part.
The last part, the actual lastpart of our family meeting is we
put all of our hands in themiddle of the room and we just
we say on three, team Langdon.
And then we go one, two, threeand then lift our hands up Team
Langdon.
And then sometimes we add in alittle like craziness, like one,
(28:11):
uh, one, two, three, teamLangdon, four, five, six, um,
annie is a weirdo or somethingreally off or something.
So we I think that's actuallymy favorite part it's very just
like energizing.
It's the last thing before wego off and to our separate ways,
just going outside playing, andso it's just like really
(28:35):
energetic.
It helps, it definitely helps.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
So the team huddle ends with a chant, just like
Annie said, we pile our hands ontop of each other in the middle
of our living room, we count tothree, one, two, three, team
Langdon, and we try to yellpretty loud and sometimes our
neighbors, our backyardneighbors, the weirsomes they
can hear us and that's okay.
(28:59):
We really feel like unifyingour team with our family name
right at the end is a great wayto just remind each other that
we've got each other's backs.
We are in this together.
We are a team, a true team, andwe're all fighting for the same
(29:19):
end zone, right?
We're all going in the samedirection, parents and kids.
So, annie, thank you forjumping on the mic for this
little episode about thebenefits of a family huddle and
how it brings order to thefamily.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Well, you're welcome.
Guys, please share this episodewith people in your circle.
Definitely share it with yourspouse.
If you're not doing a familyhuddle already, please go to our
website.
We have a free handout thattells you how to do your family
huddle.
We also have a more robustbundle called the huddle bundle,
(29:59):
and it's got videos.
It's got downloadables that youcan print out as a little
agenda and some note taking,some calendars for your kids to
use during your family huddle aswell.
So that is in our shop atfamiliesofcharactercom if you
just go under the shop tab.
Listen, your family is the mostimportant team you will ever be
(30:24):
part of.
So take this seriously, getyour family huddle started this
weekend and you will enjoy morepeace, less fighting, less
nagging and a whole lot morelaughter and joy in your home.
Thanks for tuning in and, annie, I look forward to you being on
(30:48):
our show again in another yearor two so that we can just see
how you're still participatingin our family.
You're still just queenpositivity and you're still
motivating us to do better everysingle day.
You're awesome.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Well, thank you, you're awesome too.
Just keep doing those familymeetings.
And also, just don't even youdon't even have to take an hour,
just take 20 minutes, 10 to 20minutes just do a little family
meeting.
You don't have to do a familymission statement.
Maybe just go over, like, thetop five things that you want to
work on, like you want to workon being more friendly, or stuff
(31:28):
like that, and then just goover your calendar.
That's all you have to do.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
You could keep it simple to get started, right,
Annie?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yes, keep it simple and then keep moving your way up
.
Every month or so, maybe addanother thing to do and then
just maybe set a reasonable timefor all of you guys.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yes, that's great advice.
Start simple, start even withjust reviewing your calendar and
getting together and showing upfor each other every Sunday.
Take care, guys, we will catchyou on another episode of the
Families of Character Show realsoon.
Hey, parents, welcome back.
Listen today on our show.
We are talking with a guestthat we've had on two years ago,
actually a fan favorite.
Welcome back to the showAniston Langdon.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, thank you for having me back.
It has been almost two years,as she said, and I'm very
excited to be back on your showMom.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Did you hear that?
She said Mom, that's right,this is our 10-year-old daughter
.
Last time we had her on theshow was episode 44, very early
in our season, when she was justeight years old.
So we thought it would be funto jump back on the mic and talk
about the same topic, theweekly family huddle, or you
(00:50):
might call it a weekly familymeeting.
But we've been having thesehuddles, these little meetings,
with our family since 2019.
Y'all, that's been six yearsfrom the date of this recording.
That means we have logged over200 plus family huddles once a
(01:11):
week.
On Sundays is when we have thesemeetings, and so I just wanted
to ask Annie what herperspective is as a child who's
been participating in this sinceshe was just four years old.
So, aniston, tell us first ofall a little bit about the
(01:33):
family huddle.
Like if somebody was a fly onthe wall in our living room on a
Sunday when we're having ourfamily huddle, what would they
see is happening?
Kind of.
Take us through how thesefamily huddles.
What would they see ishappening?
Kind of.
Take us through how thesefamily huddles happen and what
they consist of.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Well, the family meetings consist of a prayer at
the beginning.
My dad normally just pickswhoever he wants.
It's a nice gentle prayer.
We're asking God to help uswith the family meeting and
everything that we're going todo in it.
And then after that we do ourfamily mission statement, which
(02:11):
we'll get to later.
And then after that we go intoour calendar and we go about
maybe two to three weeks outjust saying what we're doing,
and then we just kind of go overthe things that might be a
little blurry, like we mighthave a half day at school and we
don't know what time we'regetting picked up, or maybe free
(02:34):
dress at school or somethingthat we have to figure out
beforehand.
So that's really what we do.
And then after that we do alittle prayer thanking God for
what we had in our familymeeting.
So that's kind of just the basebasic of our family meeting.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So you said, it starts with a prayer, a simple,
just a prayer, asking God tohelp us with whatever it is
we're going to discuss in ourmeeting.
And then we talk about our, orwe review our family mission
statement that's right which wealso created in 2019.
We say it together, as a wholefamily.
(03:12):
We cast this mission statementup on our TV from our computer
screen and so we can read ittogether and follow along.
And then we look at ourcalendar right, we share a
Google calendar.
My husband and I contribute bothto this calendar.
As things come up in our email,we learn new things about the
school calendar, our workcalendar, social activities,
(03:35):
birthday parties, the calendarup on our screen, on our TV
screen.
We just use a simple HDMI cordto connect our laptop computer
to the TV and it works really,really well.
That way, aniston, 10, and herbrother, lincoln, who's 13, can
(03:58):
both see how the digitalcalendar works and they can
follow along as we go day by day, leading a kind of and learning
about the calendar and whatactivities we have coming ahead
of us.
So, annie, who is the leader ofthese family huddles?
The?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
leader of the family meetings is my dad, because he's
more organized than most of us,at least, and also he just he
can guide us through thecalendar, he can drive, he has
all this stuff for the familymeeting and so he leads us
(04:38):
through it.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
When you talk about he can drive, what do you mean
by that?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
well, because on the calendar there is things most of
the things on there we have todrive for, and so Lincoln can't
drive, nor can I, so you guyshave to pitch in and you guys
have to drive for us, I guess.
So you guys are the main partof the whole calendar getting
(05:05):
you from place to place.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah, your dad also drives the computer during the
family huddle, right?
Yeah, he kind of sits in adifferent spot where he has a
good angle on the TV and he useshis old mouse and he drives the
computer and drives us, youknow, around the calendar so
that we can see what's going on.
And he also helps to just guidediscussion, which is such a big
(05:29):
help in my opinion, because, asa mom, I know one of the most
frustrating things for me foryears was feeling like a team of
one.
I constantly felt like I wasthe only one who knew what was
on the family calendar, and sothe burden was on me, when
people didn't know what wasgoing on, to share that
(05:49):
information with them.
And so the beautiful thingabout having Josh be the leader
of our family huddles is that heis leading the family through
the discussion about thecalendar, and he is an equal
part of knowing what we havegoing on.
Now, annie, what do you thinkare some of the biggest benefits
(06:13):
to having a weekly familyhuddle?
Every single Sunday, we meet upand have these huddles.
So, as a child, how do youbenefit from these meetings?
A child, how do you benefitfrom these meetings?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, one of the benefits is the organization,
just like you're knowing that,the family meeting.
We go to church, then we comehome, we have brunch, then we go
and get to the family meeting.
Having it in order, just thatmakes just life more orderly.
(06:45):
And then also it just helpsbeing prepared for the week.
If I don't know what's going tohappen tomorrow, then I get
stressed, or then I have to askat nighttime when I have to go
to bed.
I have to ask what's going onthis whole week, and then it
just takes up more time and thenit just takes up more time.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And so I just think, if you take just maybe 30
minutes to an hour, you can haveorganization, preparation and
really whatever you really needto move on for the week.
That is a great benefit tobeing orderly.
You said it helps, like thewhole family be more orderly and
it helps reduce your worries.
Did you hear that y'all Kidsworry about what's coming next
(07:32):
if they don't really know?
And so, annie, besides ourcalendar being launched up on
the TV during our family huddle,where else can you go in our
house to take a glimpse of ourweekly calendar and see what's
going on for the upcoming days?
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Well, we have a little magnetic calendar on our
fridge that has everything weneed on it for the days.
It tells us who's driving us toschool, who's taking us back
from school, if it's a half day,if it's not, if it's free dress
or it's not.
It tells us basicallyeverything we need for that day,
(08:12):
and my mom even writes whatfood we're having for the night,
because we always ask herwhat's for dinner?
What's for dinner?
That's like the main questionafter school.
So if we know everything,everything what's happening,
it's just more orderly, moreprioritized and, yeah, it just
(08:33):
really is helpful for me.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Awesome.
So we just have a simple dryerase calendar, y'all.
We get it on, we got it onAmazon.
We've had it for two yearsalready and Saturday mornings I
get up, have my coffee and Ijust load that calendar with
everything that's in our Googlecalendar, just right there on
the dry erase calendar, and thenI put it on the fridge because
(08:56):
guess what?
Everybody's getting in thefridge all the time.
Right, it's a common place wego to feed ourselves.
So the kitchen is such a goodplace to launch a weekly
calendar and just keep it up sothat everyone can go to it and
see it and there doesn't have tobe so many conversations
(09:19):
verbally about what's going on,but instead you can orient
everyone to the week just bylooking at your calendar on the
fridge.
So good, what is like maybeyour favorite part of the family
huddle, you think?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Probably the mission statement and the calendar.
It's kind of hard but like the,both of those are really like
enjoyable.
The family mission statementever since my dad told me like
the actual meaning of it, itreally helped me because we have
seven like topics, I guess,which is God, spouse, family,
(09:59):
friends, career and learning,health and environment, which
all of those are reallyimportant but we have leveled
them from the best to the maybenot as much, but we still need
to hold that.
And my dad, he showed me like alittle picture of what it
(10:20):
actually means.
God is at the top, he's thetippy top of the triangle, he's
the one just like sitting upthere he's doing his job, he's
doing it all, and then spouse isholding him up.
He's the next level down, thenext level, the next level, and
then the base is environment andhealth.
Those are the ones we need tokeep the most, Because if we
(10:43):
don't keep those the most, thenwhen we get to the tippy top,
the best part, it's going tokind of just fall down.
If we don't have the base, thenwe don't got the top.
So I think I really do like thefamily mission statement.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yes, we have seven categories that we prioritize in
our family, annie, and you'reright, you're talking about kind
of them being in a proper order, because not everything is
equal right.
In family life.
There are some things that aremore important than others, and
we happen to believe that God isnumber one, right.
(11:20):
If it weren't for God, wewouldn't even be here.
So it's so important for us toremind ourselves that God is
number one in our lives asindividuals and in our family.
And then the second in order isspouse, right, and so why do
you think spouse comes beforethe whole family?
(11:41):
Why do you think myrelationship with your dad is
even higher than my relationshipwith you and Lincoln and Parker
?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Well, I think there's a pretty clear answer on that,
but there's also not reallyclear because it's just like,
for kids it's really hard, likewhy doesn't, why don't we have
dates with our parents?
Why aren't we always with them?
But it's a really strongrelationship between a husband
(12:10):
and a wife and I think that isthe biggest bond you can have
between human and that is one ofthe parts that I'm looking
forward to in my life to come.
And and I think that is areally good thing that spouse is
above family, just because ifwe didn't have, if I didn't have
my parents you, you and dad Iwouldn't be alive.
(12:35):
So if you guys can celebratewith a date or with whatever you
guys are doing day, a dinner,breakfast, uh, out, I don't know
it always it's just the biggestbond between human, in my
opinion.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Wow, y'all this is just off the cuff, I'm telling
you.
We are sitting in the podcastroom.
Annie actually has pneumonia atthis point and she is home sick
for the day.
But she said, mom, I feel likegetting on the microphone and
talking about the family huddle.
Could we do that?
I said, well, why not?
So this is very much a liveconversation here, no practicing
(13:18):
or rehearsing or talking aboutwhat we're going to say.
And that was amazing that youjust said that the bond between
a husband and wife is like themost important bond between two
humans.
Whoa, I think you're right.
I think you're right about that, and just this idea that you
(13:39):
are looking forward to that inyour own life, at age 10, is
really special for me to hear asa mom.
So thank you for sharing that.
We have been dating each otherin married life since 2019.
Now, don't laugh, because we'vebeen married 20 years and prior
(13:59):
to six years ago, we were nothaving scheduled dates.
Josh and I, we were very muchgoing and running and, you know,
passing each other like twoships in the night, and we're
very much focused on just ourkids' activities, and then we'd
be so exhausted that it was like, how are we even going to go on
(14:22):
a date, or what do we even doif we go on a date?
And it was back in 2019, whenwe created our family mission
statement and realized theimportance of ordering
priorities in our family and howour marriage had slipped down
to the bottom of that list, thatwe decided to prioritize dating
(14:44):
each other as a married couple.
Prioritize dating each other asa married couple.
So Annie is talking about yes,we know that our parents are
going on dates because it's onthe calendar and we talk about
it once a week in the familyhuddle.
So you guys will see that momand dad have a date night out at
a restaurant, or mom and dadare meeting up with another
(15:04):
couple to do a double date, ordad's got a massage planned for
mom on the calendar, right, thathappens right in our own home.
We have prioritized dating eachother in married life and our
kids have benefited from it.
I know it.
Plus, you guys get a littletime by yourself when we're away
too right, yes, okay.
(15:27):
So, annie, do you think youcould try no pressure, but do
you think you could try torecite our family mission
statement just to the best ofyour ability?
It doesn't have to be perfect,but do you want to give it a try
?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sure, I'll try it.
So we say the family missionstatement established 2019.
God we know and love God, theFather.
We follow Jesus as our exampleand we call on the Holy Spirit
to guide us in our daily lives.
Spouse, we serve each other togrow in love.
(16:01):
We work as one to move thefamily forward.
Family we've got each other'sbacks.
We are interactive, fun andadventurous Friends.
We are intentional andauthentic in our friendships.
We share in our friends' joysand support them through our
struggles, career and learning.
Our work is rooted in serviceto others.
(16:22):
We are both mentors and mentees.
We work hard and are generouswith what we earn.
We learn the truth and arelifelong learners.
Health we treat our body asGod's temple by eating healthy,
staying active and getting goodsleep.
Environment we work together tomaintain a safe, orderly and
welcoming home, so we areprepared to serve anyone who
(16:44):
visits us.
We treat other environments aswe do our own home, wow you got
it Nice job, thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
That's it.
Folks, we recite that once aweek.
Kids have the ability tomemorize this.
We aren't drilling them with it.
We aren't practicing this.
We didn't, you know, do somerecitation performance for
people.
This is just something we putup on our TV during our family
huddles and we say it aloud as afamily one time and then we
(17:21):
move on to reviewing ourcalendar for the week.
Annie, why do you think we havea mission statement?
What do you think this missionstatement helps us with?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Well, the mission statement, I think, helps us.
It's like a passage from, it'slike a verse from a Bible.
It tells us, kind of like Isaid, what's in order, from top
to bottom, which one's the best,which one's the least, and it
(17:56):
tells us what each of thosesubjects mean.
Like God, it's telling us thatGod, we know and we love God,
the Father, we follow Jesus asour example and we call on the
Holy Spirit to guide us in ourdaily lives.
We are telling ourselves thatwe are, that we have to work on
(18:21):
this, or we.
It's like basically what thefamily mission statement is on
this, or we.
It's like basically what thefamily mission statement is is.
It is a little cheat sheetbecause it just tells us
basically what can help us, likespouse, we, we have to love our
spouse, god, we have to loveGod.
We have to love our family,friends, we have to, we have to
(18:43):
work hard.
Career and learning.
And the reason why it's careerand learning is because, um, we
don't me and Lincoln don'treally have a career yet.
We, we're gonna work towards acareer, but right now we're
learning from school, um, and sowe kind of had to switch things
(19:04):
up a little.
And then if you guys make yourown family mission statement,
you just have to add in your ownstuff Like what is our top
priority?
What is our bottom?
Like baseline basics here, likeenvironment, we have to keep
our home the exact same as weare going to keep other people's
(19:26):
house.
If we're going to jump on thecouches at our house, why would
we do that at other people'shouse?
Like my parents would not letme jump on our couch, so we
should not do that at otherpeople's house.
So I think the quality and themeaning of the family mission
statement is just to help uslike learn of, like more stuff.
(19:50):
Like we got to just dig deepinto the hard stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I love how you said it helps us to prioritize and
that it really helps us.
It's kind of like a verse fromscripture.
You said it gives us somethingto orient our minds to so that
we know what's most important inour family and what to how we
can grow right in thesedifferent seven areas.
(20:18):
And that's exactly what afamily mission statement is all
about.
It is identifying what thingsare most important to you as an
individual family.
Right, we can all be sharingthe same last name we're team
Langdon over here but we mightbe focused on very different
(20:41):
things as individuals, andthat's where division happens in
the family.
It happens between husband andwife and it happens between
parents and children, wheneverybody's just sort of has
their own agenda and they havetheir own things that they like
doing and that they are focusedon and prefer to grow in.
(21:02):
That is where thisindividualism happens in
families and things start toreally break down.
And so our family missionstatement unifies us.
It helps to remind us whatwe're going for right.
For us, the end game is heaven.
That is our ultimate finishline as a team, and so it makes
(21:25):
sense to put God at theforefront of that, and then to
nurture our marriage comessecond, because if we aren't
nurturing our marriage then ourrelationship with our kids is
strained.
Because in a married union,right Between husband and wife,
um, one of the most difficultthings that pulls at us is when
(21:49):
we are not getting along.
If we're not getting along orwe're having trouble
communicating with each other,we're at odds with each other.
It's very difficult toconcentrate at work.
It's very hard to be calm,patient and responsive at the
home.
So we got to put that numbertwo and then the third family.
(22:09):
We have to work as a familyunit to build unity.
Family dinners how often do weeat dinner around the dinner
table?
Annie, together.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Mostly every day.
Sometimes Saturdays are kind ofour day off, kind of leftovers
and all that stuff.
But like that, just that little, like 45 minutes is really
helpful just to talk to eachother.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yes, so we prioritize family dinners, right, even if
we get home late from a game orwe have, you know, sports
practices or meetings.
We make it a priority to sitdown without the TV and just
have a conversation while we'reat the table.
Sometimes we bring up thatlittle box of cards, don't we?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yes, family talking points.
We just draw a card out and itjust like gives us a little like
thing to talk about.
Maybe we had a rough day and wedon't want to talk, or like
this, this little like card justhelps us kind of like to just
speak, you know.
So like some of them are likewhat's, what is your favorite
(23:18):
animal and what would you do toget it, or like there's some
like crazy stuff in there, youknow, to just get like a rolling
conversation on.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Yes, we love that.
So conversation cards are goodto keep at your dinner table to
get just get a new topic broughtup Right.
And then we talk about, youknow, making our friends a
priority too, and one of thethings in our mission statement
we talk about is that we supportour friends through their
struggles and we help ourfriends celebrate things that
(23:52):
they're happy to haveaccomplished.
And so, again, if you'rereading this every week, it
helps your kids, too, to orienttheir relationships to what is
good and true and beautiful.
So reminding them that whenthey're at school, that if
something rough is happeningwith their friends, that they
support their friends Ifsomebody wants to celebrate
(24:16):
something that they're part ofthat, that that's one of the
things team Langdon reallyvalues is friends and treating
our friends well.
And then we talk about ourcareer and learning All right
career.
It's important for our kids toknow that, yes, we are leaders
(24:36):
in our jobs and our careers.
My husband is a financialadvisor and has his own practice
where he's his own boss.
I am the CEO and parent coachhere at Families of Character,
and so I lead my team, but wealso want our kids to know that
not only are we mentoring others.
(24:57):
But we are mentees, right, wehave mentors that we go to for
regular direction and guidance,mentors that we go to for
regular direction and guidanceand coaching, and so just laying
that groundwork for them andthey hear us talk about that in
our family huddles, they see itplaying out in real life.
They can look forward to thatas well.
Giving and getting back right.
(25:22):
And then we talk about health.
Right, we treat our body asGod's temple by eating healthy
and getting good sleep.
Every time we say this y'all, Ithink we're like, uh-oh, we're
not doing so well in that, right, annie?
Yeah, because we mess up, weeat out too much or we get on
these sugar kicks where we're,you know, eating too much sugar
(25:46):
or we haven't exercised, andthat's okay, because every week
when we look at that, we'rereminded that, oh, we can do
something about that, we can dosomething better.
You know, going forward.
And that's the beauty of afamily mission statement.
If you had it all figured out,you wouldn't need one.
So reviewing it and justreminding each other what we're
(26:07):
working on together, even ifwe're really slacking in that
thing, helps to orient us.
And then we talk about ourenvironment, because taking care
of your home environment isvery important.
We just recently interviewedsomeone on our podcast about
decluttering and the state ofyour home and just having order
in your home.
(26:28):
And you know it's true that theway your physical environment
is affects your mentalwell-being, and so we talked
about how the family missionstatement really helps to
decrease anxiety in kids,because you know what's coming.
Decrease anxiety in kidsbecause you know what's coming.
(26:48):
Same thing about the physicalenvironment of home is, if it is
very cluttered, messy, dirty,it's very hard for you to focus
on what you need to focus on inthe home.
And so we work together as ateam to really have order in our
house, and the purpose of it isalso so that we can be prepared
to serve anyone who visits usright, anyone who comes over or
(27:10):
wants to bounce in spontaneously.
We can fully attend to thembecause we're not worried about
oh goodness, there's trasheverywhere or, you know, we're
just so embarrassed about how itlooks here.
It's like we just keep it tidyon a regular basis.
Then we can be fully present toour guests when they come.
Annie, you did a great job onthat family mission statement.
(27:33):
What else do you have to sayabout the family huddle.
I'm thinking you're forgettingsomething that you talked about
in our last one, which is thevery last thing we do in our
huddle.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Oh, I kind of forgot about that part.
The last part, the actual lastpart of our family meeting is we
put all of our hands in themiddle of the room and we just
we say on three, team Langdon.
And then we go one, two, threeand then lift our hands up Team
Langdon.
And then sometimes we add in alittle like craziness, like one,
(28:11):
uh, one, two, three, teamLangdon, four, five, six, um,
annie is a weirdo or somethingreally off or something.
So we I think that's actuallymy favorite part it's very just
like energizing.
It's the last thing before wego off and to our separate ways,
just going outside playing, andso it's just like really
(28:35):
energetic.
It helps, it definitely helps.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
So the team huddle ends with a chant, just like
Annie said, we pile our hands ontop of each other in the middle
of our living room, we count tothree, one, two, three, team
Langdon, and we try to yellpretty loud and sometimes our
neighbors, our backyardneighbors, the weirsomes they
can hear us and that's okay.
(28:59):
We really feel like unifyingour team with our family name
right at the end is a great wayto just remind each other that
we've got each other's backs.
We are in this together.
We are a team, a true team, andwe're all fighting for the same
(29:19):
end zone, right?
We're all going in the samedirection, parents and kids.
So, annie, thank you forjumping on the mic for this
little episode about thebenefits of a family huddle and
how it brings order to thefamily.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Well, you're welcome.
Guys, please share this episodewith people in your circle.
Definitely share it with yourspouse.
If you're not doing a familyhuddle already, please go to our
website.
We have a free handout thattells you how to do your family
huddle.
We also have a more robustbundle called the huddle bundle,
(29:59):
and it's got videos.
It's got downloadables that youcan print out as a little
agenda and some note taking,some calendars for your kids to
use during your family huddle aswell.
So that is in our shop atfamiliesofcharactercom if you
just go under the shop tab.
Listen, your family is the mostimportant team you will ever be
(30:24):
part of.
So take this seriously, getyour family huddle started this
weekend and you will enjoy morepeace, less fighting, less
nagging and a whole lot morelaughter and joy in your home.
Thanks for tuning in and, annie, I look forward to you being on
(30:48):
our show again in another yearor two so that we can just see
how you're still participatingin our family.
You're still just queenpositivity and you're still
motivating us to do better everysingle day.
You're awesome.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Well, thank you, you're awesome too.
Just keep doing those familymeetings.
And also, just don't even youdon't even have to take an hour,
just take 20 minutes, 10 to 20minutes just do a little family
meeting.
You don't have to do a familymission statement.
Maybe just go over, like, thetop five things that you want to
work on, like you want to workon being more friendly, or stuff
(31:28):
like that, and then just goover your calendar.
That's all you have to do.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
You could keep it simple to get started, right,
Annie?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Yes, keep it simple and then keep moving your way up
.
Every month or so, maybe addanother thing to do and then
just maybe set a reasonable timefor all of you guys.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yes, that's great advice.
Start simple, start even withjust reviewing your calendar and
getting together and showing upfor each other every Sunday.
Take care, guys, we will catchyou on another episode of the
Families of Character Show realsoon.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!