May 6, 2025 • 45 mins
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What if the key to raising capable, confident adults isn't found in protecting them, but in purposefully equipping them with real-world skills years before they leave your home?
Dena Patton, award-winning leadership coach, co-founder of the Girls Rule Foundation, and author of the book The Greatness Game, reveals how intentional parenting transforms uncertain teenagers into empowered young adults.
• Parenting with purpose means breaking negative childhood cycles while intentionally creating positive experiences
• Raising children means raising future adults, requiring deliberate skill-building starting at age 12-13
• Enabling vs. empowering—simple tasks like making appointments build crucial self-advocacy skills
• Creating emotional connections with teenagers through lighthearted moments and memorable experiences
• Leadership is an action, not a title—girls need these skills in their teens, not just adulthood
Learn more about Girls Rule Foundation's Wings to Fly summer camp on their website. Registration is open until May 30th for high school girls.
The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load.
Give $20 to keep the mic on. We're a 501 c(3) non-profit and produce this show for parents around the globe.
Discover the secrets to building a connected + thriving family. All you'll need is a few minutes of your week—it's easy!
Looking for things to combat boredom and bolster growth in your kids? Check out our Tame the Tech Bundle and the Best Me I Can Be Journal!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back.
Parents, Listen.
Thanks for sharing our episodeswith people in your circles.
This is awesome.
I have some new download statsfor you.
So our podcast has now beendownloaded in 292 cities and 22
different countries.
This is insane, and it's allbecause of our listeners.
(00:24):
You are so faithful in textingour episodes out to people in
your network and forwarding ourTuesday email newsletters to
people in your contact list, soplease know that that makes a
great impact for us and it'sreally helping us to spread this
message far and wide.
Really helping us to spreadthis message far and wide, so
(00:45):
I'm super grateful for you.
Listen.
Today on our show we have anaward-winning leadership coach
who has co-founded a foundationcalled the Girls Rule Foundation
, and she has co-founded thisorganization with three
like-minded women who share herpassion for advancing the next
(01:09):
generation of female leaders andwith the belief that leadership
starts young.
Girls Rule equips girls withessential skills in self-esteem,
leadership and financialliteracy.
Praise God, these are all greatcharacter, strengths and skills
(01:30):
that we definitely endorse hereat Families of Character, and
their foundation hosts all kindsof really awesome workshops,
summer camps and after schoolprograms for girls that provide
them with the tools to thrive inlife and to step confidently
into their potential astomorrow's leaders.
(01:53):
So our guest, Dina, isdedicated to helping individuals
really embrace their greatness,unlock their potential and
create a ripple effect ofleadership and empowerment in
their communities and in theirfamilies.
So welcome to the show, DenaPatton.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Thank you, thanks for having me on this amazing show
that you have.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, absolutely so.
You are married and have yourown children, and you also have
this like fiery passion forparenting with greatness, like
really just trusting yourselfand your tools to get through
hard times.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour own family and where this
(02:41):
passion for parenting withgreatness comes from.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Thank you.
Well, I do have a junior inhigh school, she's 17.
So all y'all who are in theteen years, I am with you.
So not only do I work with teengirls and in girls rule, but
you know all the stuff is goingon at home, and I'm a law
(03:05):
enforcement wife and so myhusband is a 26 year law
enforcement.
And you know, one of the thingsthat we really decided very
early on was to parent withpurpose and intention and to
break the cycles of some stuffthat we didn't get in our
(03:28):
childhood.
You know, we all know thatparents aren't perfect.
We are not trying to be perfect.
We didn't have perfect parents,but we wanted to really look at
what are some things that wentin our own childhood that we
didn't get, that we want to beon purpose on, you know, in
bringing into our family, intoour values, into our parenting,
(03:52):
and just really get intentionaland purposeful and faithful
around our parenting.
And it's my number one job inlife is to be a great mom, and
that comes before my twobusinesses, before all the other
roles in my life, and it takesa, it's not easy, it takes a lot
(04:17):
of work to be an on-purposeparent, but you know what we
fall in love with progress, notperfection.
If you think parenting, likeyour whole game, is to be a
perfect mom, to be a perfect dad, that's just the wrong game
You're.
You know you're going to end upin shame and failure because we
(04:38):
all make mistakes and there'sno perfection.
So you know, that's really theessence is, we started out with
that like intention very youngand you know we're in this new
phase right now because she juststarted driving and has her own
job and so we're getting I mean, we just went from, you know
(05:00):
you're driving your little onearound for 16 years and then
boom, they have a license, theyhave a car, they have a job and
it's like, oh my gosh, I'mliterally a mini adult right now
.
So new season, really newseason.
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, you said it, like you spend all these years
driving them around and they'retotally dependent on you.
And then one day they're not,they get the keys and they pass
the test, dependent on you.
And then one day they're not,they get the keys and they pass
the test, and this, this life offreedom and independence, opens
up.
And then you're like settingthem free out there.
And you, you mentioned, youknow, this little adult.
That's right.
We have to remind ourselvesfrom the time our babies are
(05:37):
born, that we are raising adults.
And so we can't do that withoutbeing intentional or the culture
just swallows them up.
And then all of a sudden we'rein this panic that like, oops,
it's 18 years later, you know.
And then they just sort ofturned out how they turned out.
So I love that you said you andyour husband decided early on
(06:01):
that you were going to parent onpurpose and parent with
intention.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, it is.
You know.
I see unfortunately not only inour own community and friend
groups, but I see it a lot ingirls rule where you know their
girl becomes a junior or seniorand then the light bulb goes off
and they're like, oh gosh, Igot to get self-management
skills in financial literacy,still in time management skills,
(06:28):
food management.
You know, if they're 18 andthey're moving out, whether it's
to college workforce, movingout on their own, those skill
sets of you know self-management, time management, money
management, food managementThey've got to know those.
And at 18, isn't the time to belearning those?
It's, you know, it reallystarts really young.
(06:50):
But that super intentionalitystarts about 12 is what I coach
is that 12 to 18, you're reallyclicking into a new level of
responsibility.
And you know, when they'reyoung we're many.
You know doing many things likethat right, like keeping their
room clean or their littlechores there's little seeds and
(07:11):
possibilities of responsibilityand self-management.
But once they turn that 12 ish,13, you don't want to like
introduce them to responsibilityat 12 or 13.
They should have those littleopportunities along the way.
And then we're cranking that upat that 12 and 13 because we
know high school's hard.
(07:33):
You have to, really you knowyou have to use those skills in
high school, but then, once theyget out, it's 100% on their own
, you know.
So it's a major thing, but I've, you know, I've, really I
always say we only get 18summers with our kids.
So not only are we puttingcharacter and values and skill
sets in our kids, right, causewe are raising adults, um, but
(07:58):
you're all on the personal side,you're trying to get faith in
them, you're trying to getconnection with them, you're
trying to create memories.
Like we just took my daughterand five friends camping,
because I am really passionateabout creating memories.
You know just thatintentionality, whether it's a
pool party or it's a campingtrip, like I think parents, we
(08:22):
get so busy with our own lifeand survival and bills and
marriage and all the things.
Like what are you doing A tocreate connection, just in those
little everyday moments in thekitchen, right, just leaning in
for a hug or an emotionalconnection, because our kids
(08:43):
need it, although they'll rolltheir eyes and be like mom, I
don't need a hug, right, and Iwas like well, I need a hug, you
know, and I just we have tostop being offended.
Like, especially if you have ateenager, they are going to say
hurtful things like don't giveme a hug or I don't like you, or
whatever.
And you're like, yeah, but Ilove you.
(09:05):
Like you know, like you can'tlet your teenager stop your love
.
You're, you know, I actuallyhave a friend who has really
gotten really hurt by her son'steenage attitude, right, and
she's like I don't even want totalk to him, I don't want to hug
him, I don't want to doanything for him.
(09:25):
Like we really get, we can gethurt and offended.
When you got to pray about it.
I mean God will help youthrough that and take that
offensiveness off so you canfind your love again.
But we have to sometimes, youknow, what I've learned is
sometimes I just have to belight about it, of like when she
doesn't want to.
Sometimes, you know, what I'velearned is sometimes I just have
to be light about it, of likewhen she doesn't want to hug.
(09:46):
You know, I just I'll like befunny about it.
I'm like, well, I've got to getmy one hug in, you know, for
the day.
And she's like OK, but you know, those those memories are like
think about us.
You know we, whatever yourchildhood was, it was good, it
was bad, it was all over theplace, but there was a couple
(10:06):
good memories in there somewhere.
We want to do thatintentionally, and sometimes
it's the smallest things likewalking to the ice cream store
and getting an ice cream andjust checking in with them.
Right, don't make it too heavy,just check.
You know what's up.
What's up with your friends.
How are you Right?
Hey, you know what's up.
What's up with your friends?
How are you Right?
(10:26):
Hey, you know that thing thathappened a couple months ago.
You know how are you about that.
You know these kids right noware dealing with a lot.
I don't know about you, but Imean we've had a couple suicides
in our school.
We have hard things going on.
We have kids that their parentsare fighting and divorcing.
That's so traumatic on our kids, right?
(10:48):
So, although maybe your kidisn't going through something
right now, but they're seeingsomeone go through something,
right, and so they still needthat emotional, like they're
seeing the trauma or they'reseeing the divorce and of course
, it's running Well, are you anddad getting divorced?
Like they're scared, right?
(11:10):
So, just leaning in sometimesof just like, how are you doing?
And, hey, what you know?
What are your thoughts aboutthat and just letting them talk
to you Like so these are it's.
It's these little moments thatI feel like don't dig too much
or they'll turn off right, likeit's just being light and
checking in emotionally andmaking memories.
(11:30):
That's the phase we're in rightnow.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I love it Making memories and being intentional
about planning those littleoutings that they can call to
mind when they are adults, right.
So, one of the activities I'mhaving parents do in our date
night events that we host once amonth is just simply reflecting
back on their own childhood andthinking like what types of
(11:53):
things did my parents do thatcreated a fun summer memory for?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
me right.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And then like what feelings come up when you
remember that camping trip.
You know, I remember justfeeling like this appreciation
for nature at a young age orwhatever.
Ok, so would you like your childto, to experience an
appreciation for nature?
Yes, ok, then what can you doas parents today intentionally
(12:24):
to make that happen for your ownkids?
Right, and so, reflecting backon our own childhood, some
people I think kind of poo poothat, and they go like, oh, it's
in the past, you know, and ifit was ugly I don't want to look
at it, but it's important.
I'm glad to hear you say that.
You know, reflect back and lookthere so that it can inform
where you're going next, whatyou want to take and what you
(12:45):
want to get rid of.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Get rid of right.
You have to have thatdiscernment and you can.
You know, one of my favoritewords is and is you can.
You can leave the negative inthe past and take the lessons
and the memory of the good,because that is data.
You know, our past is data.
Our past is data that we canreally use for good, and I had a
(13:11):
pretty traumatic childhood.
It's why I'm really passionateabout A giving my daughter a
healthy, balanced, goodchildhood but helping other
girls have a good childhoodright.
And I think that it's importantto have the courage to look in
(13:31):
our past and look at thenegative because you can learn
from it, know better, do better.
You can say you know what.
This was not good in mychildhood, this was not good,
this was not good.
How can I do better?
And that's the lessons that Ithink are really powerful from
our past, and not just shovingit, you know, in the sand and
never looking.
(13:51):
Let's take those things thatwere hard and learn and do those
better.
But let's find the good thingsthat were really good and say
how can we duplicate that now?
And it's such powerful wisdomand nuggets that we can bring
into our own intentionality andI think it's important to
(14:16):
understand Zig Ziglar.
I pulled up this quote.
It says children go where thereis excitement.
It says children go where thereis excitement.
They stay where there is love.
And I just love that because Ilike exciting things and I was
definitely the kid that was likeoh, that looks fun over there.
Right, that's exciting.
But they come back to wherethey feel loved and really at
(14:38):
the highest level.
If you're an aunt, if you're anuncle, if you're a grandparent,
if you're an aunt, if you're anuncle, if you're a grandparent,
if you're a parent, you have aresponsibility to your kids,
grandkids, nieces, nephews, tolove them.
And in your own way, you know,and I think when you take that
(15:02):
on as a responsibility like howam I doing as a loving aunt,
right?
Or a loving uncle, I think itjust we can take that inventory
and go.
You know I need to lean intothem a little bit more and have
the courage to do that.
You know I had a, unfortunately, my brother just recently
passed away and he has a son andhis son was 24.
And I've always, you know, I'vealways had a relationship with
(15:25):
them.
But you know, I took my owninventory and I said I need to
step it up as an aunt in hislife, being more intentional to
call him, invite him over fordinner.
Lean into him.
I'm an entrepreneur.
I've been an entrepreneur for29 years.
He was thinking about his ownbusiness.
Of course I'm like I'm going tosupport you.
(15:46):
Right, I'm his biggest championand helping him start his own
business.
So there's little things.
If you have the courage to leanin and say you know what I'm
going to love on them just alittle bit more, and you're
going to be so surprised at howimpactful that really is
(16:07):
surprised at how impactful thatreally is.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Totally agree with what you're saying, and there's
always an opportunity to do justlike 1% better at connecting
with your kids, and I love alsothe idea of, as a couple, taking
an inventory of your past soyou can learn and appreciate
where your spouse is coming from.
Because, man, when you put twopeople together who were raised
with much different upbringingsand backgrounds, and then you
(16:33):
influence, that little duo,influences your children, but
you haven't really appreciatedwhere you've come from, that's
hard.
There can be a lot of strife, sodoing that little exercise and
activity with the sense ofcuriosity about your spouse like
hey, how did you handleholidays and summers and what
(16:53):
were your favorite memories, isa beautiful thing to bring into
that intentional parenting.
And then also, just like yousaid, just taking an inventory
of the people in your closecircle, right, your kids,
relationship with your kids.
How intentional am I beingabout that?
But then also, just like alayer out, my extended family,
my nieces and nephews, mygodchildren, right Like yes.
(17:16):
How am I connecting with themand helping them feel that
secure attachment that maybe wedidn't have?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
That's it.
Yeah, that's it, that's it,that's it.
You know, do they feel like ifhere's our, here's a hard
question, that we ask theparents when we're a Girls Rule
Foundation, when we're doing our, our programs, we ask the
parents, do you feel like if weasked your girls right now that
(17:42):
you are a safe, trusted adult intheir life, would they say yes
or no?
And you would think, as a momand dad, you would be like, of
course.
Like, of course I am.
But you'd be shocked at howmany girls and again, I don't
work with boys, but how manygirls will say my mom's not a
safe person for me.
(18:04):
I mean, do I love her?
Do I, you know?
But as far as like telling herreally hard or bad things, like
they don't have that, they don'thave that safety right in there
.
And that is, I think, one of our, one of our biggest objectives
as parents is learning thatsecure attachment.
(18:25):
How do I?
Not only for our kids, but I'mcommitted to being a safe adult
for other kids, and we have alot of kids through our house.
We're kind of like the poolparty house and that's one of my
biggest objective is alwayscreating a safe place that kids
can feel very loved and theyknow that if something hard
(18:45):
happens, that this is a safehouse, right, and that takes
some whoo, some.
You know you have to lean intothat.
You know Google say, you know,being a safe person for kids
like there's actually there'sbooks on it, there's there's not
necessarily training, butthere's, you know, there's so
much information I say, leaninto that and for you, for you,
(19:12):
because it's a privilege being asafe person for a kid.
They might not have that intheir parents and you are the
only one for them, right?
So it is really important to bethat safe place and you know,
as parents, knowing I, anotherthing that I often see is the
difference between enabling andempowering.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
And talk about that yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, I see it and and I, I, you know, I.
I see this in me where it'slike I want to do so much for my
daughter.
And when we have thediscernment of enabling versus
empowering, we really see thedamage we can do when we're
constantly enabling our kids,which means we're doing
(19:58):
everything for them.
At 14, I stopped calling andmaking appointments for my
daughter.
She had to learn how to makeappointments for her Her haircut
.
Calling a salon and saying, doyou have Tuesday afternoon open?
It's such a small thing that wethink nothing of it.
It's so small, but that onething can you take.
(20:23):
If you have a 13 year old orabove, I challenge you stop
making haircut appointments forthem.
Have them call.
Just that one teeny littlething can create courage, build
courage and to call someone abusiness and ask for an
appointment for yourself.
Or here's a second one that youcan do is a restaurant
(20:46):
reservation.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It's.
You know you're going to see avery, very nervous child, but
you know what, by the time theydo it four times, five times,
they're like I got this.
And their courage translates toother things in their school
life, in their, you know,applying for college, of asking
for things, because that'sreally what it is.
You're getting on the phone andyou're asking an adult, a
(21:09):
company, for something, areservation, right.
So these teeny, teeny littlethings where you don't see it as
something big.
But it's a place where you canstart to build their courage
with the outside world, rightand so.
But enabling is something thatI'm seeing a lot, and you know,
32% of kids drop out of theirfreshman year of college because
(21:35):
they weren't ready.
It's not there.
They weren't smart enough.
They weren't ready with theskill sets I mean the
self-management skill sets thatyou need when you're 18 and 19,
on your own or in college is alot, but when you've been
practicing those things for afew years, you're ready when you
(21:58):
leave, right?
So parents and grandparentshave that discernment when
you're about to do somethingthat they can do for themselves.
Stop, take a breath, ask themto do it, and what you're doing
is you're building that skill ofself-management, self-advocacy,
learning how to ask for thingsright, how to manage themselves.
(22:20):
You start that in high schooland you practice that in little
ways all over the place for fouryears.
They're going to be so set upto be on their own.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I love it.
You are speaking my language.
That gives them so much courageto assert themselves down the
road with bigger things Like Iremember one of our guests was
talking about how she coachesteens as well and she said like
just think about how often youknow your friends will say, hey,
(22:52):
let's go grab a Starbucks orChick-fil-A, and you'll jump in
your car and you'll go to thedrive-thru and then they're like
oh yo, I didn't bring my money.
Like can you pay?
And and like you need to havethe assertive skills to be like
I'm not going to pay for yours.
You were the one that asked tocome.
Like you know, I don't want tobe taken advantage of right To
have healthy boundaries and tobe assertive.
(23:13):
And so just the other day mykids saved for a chinchilla.
Okay, they had to have like$300 saved to buy a chinchilla.
We have no pets and this is ourfirst pet for now and my
daughter's 10.
And I said, well, what are yougoing to do?
Like you better call the vetand find out, like, does it need
(23:35):
a wellness check or whatever?
And so she said, oh, I don'tknow what to say, mom.
And so we did a little role playand she picked up that phone
and dialed and I could tell herheart was beating fast when they
answered.
And she, she talked to themabout everything that this
little chinchilla needed, andthe person on the other line I
could tell because it was onspeakerphone.
(23:56):
Yeah, it was like oh, okay,you're calling about your own
chinchilla.
Oh great, do you have italready?
No, we don't, but we're gettingready.
Okay, oh, this is great, you'recalling in advance.
I mean, they were just soimpressed that this someone
would be prepared and have thecourage to ask.
So I love that you're traininggirls in assertive communication
(24:17):
, to have courage and to buildthat confidence they need.
It also helps them to say no tothings in teenage relationships
that they really need to be,you know, ready to fend off and
say no to.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, well, today's girls.
I mean, frankly, I am like, ohmy gosh, blown away at what teen
girls manage today.
The world is moving so fast.
They have so much informationthat they have to discern
through.
Then they have phone addictionand social media addiction.
They're facing challenges thatwe could have never handled 20,
(24:59):
30, 40 years ago.
But here's the cool thingthere's more opportunities for
girls and women today than theyever have been.
But here's the negative.
This is the stats.
I've been doing this for 14years and God really knocked on
my heart 14 years ago.
(25:20):
I've been coaching CEOs andleaders for 24 years and he said
hello, I need to pull you togirls.
Our girls need you.
And you know I'm only workingwith thousands of girls, like
not hundreds of thousands, notmillions.
But when God brings you tosomething, say yes.
(25:41):
I said no for a couple yearsand then you know we finally get
the point of maybe God didchoose the right person.
And 14 years later, I'm stilldoing this work.
Because girls want to lead.
They now there's opportunitiesto lead.
However, there's still asticking point they don't have
(26:03):
the skills to lead.
Girls do not get the skills tolead until their 20s and 30s,
and that is what I'm changing isit was not good enough that
really those skill sets ofleadership were happening and
financial leadership, confidence, were not happening until later
college and then earlyadulthood, so that like 22 to 30
(26:27):
.
And I was like, uh-uh, uh-uh,uh-uh, girls need it at 12 and
13 and 16 and 18.
So they're ready for thoseopportunities to hit at 22 and
25 and 29.
For those opportunities to hitat 22 and 25 and 29.
So it's the skill sets that aremissing.
So we've got the ready, theyhave a willingness and readiness
(26:48):
, we have the opportunities, butthey don't have the tools.
And that's what Girls For WorldFoundation does and I love that
.
You mentioned or we weretalking about the past One of
the most special things in mychildhood that was positive was
summer camp.
I loved summer camp.
(27:10):
Like everyone, raise your handif you love summer camp, right,
like I loved summer camp and itwas always kind of this
background dream of having asummer camp.
Long story short, 10 years agowe did our first Wings to Fly
summer camp and this year willbe July 13th through the 19th
(27:31):
will be our 10th annual summercamp and it is the most awesome
program.
Like I, I designed it assomething that I wish I had when
I was little and these girlsliterally come in teenagers and
they leave leaders seven dayslater.
It's unshakable confidence,strong leadership skills and
(27:57):
mindsets that help them overcomeall of the think about the four
years in high school, all thetemptations, the addictions, the
bad people, the influences likeall these things that are just
pulling on girls that you knowwe don't have our boundaries
(28:19):
learned, we don't have emotionalintelligence, we don't have
advocacy Again, all these strongthings that later in life we
learn we don't have them at 14and 16.
So what happens is girls getvery derailed in these things,
right, and our girl statisticsare getting worse, not better.
(28:40):
So that's where I was like I'mdoing we have to have a summer
camp and it's extraordinary.
So it's my favorite, favoriteprogram of everything that we do
.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Well, thank you for your obedience because, like you
said, god can knock on yourheart and you can be like I
don't think.
So.
That's not me.
You got the wrong gal.
Here I'm, I'm keyed up for,like I'm good, right, right,
that is so awesome.
Well, when you were talkingabout that, I just got a little
like chill, because what it mademe think of with your girls
(29:12):
summer camp and equipping themand empowering them to be
leaders is exactly what you saidis that if they don't have
these skills at 12, 13, 14, 15,what happens and I can say this
with certainty as a counselor isthat they get wrecked in their
teen years with sexualrelationships, with friendships
(29:33):
that go wrong, with thesepressures to meet people on the
internet.
And then, all of a sudden, thissweet little girl that you saw
all these leadership qualitiesin and this passion, and that
God had marked her for somethinggreat.
It's totally sidelined, becausenow they're dealing with trauma
(29:53):
, and when you're wrecked withtrauma, it's very difficult to
be a leader in that state ofmind.
Now there's trauma, help andhealing and all of that, but
then again you delay your futurebecause you have to sit back
and dig into this healing yourtrauma, because you didn't have
the skills to say no to thoserelationships.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Exactly yes, so good.
Okay, the name of this camp isWings to Fly.
Oh good.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Okay, the name of this camp is Wings to Fly.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's Wings, yeah, wings to Fly, but our, our
website isgirlsruarleadershipcamporg and
it's on our website.
Girls Rule Foundation producesit every year and, and I'll tell
you so, we have three pillarsof curriculum.
It's self-confidence sorry,self-esteem and confidence.
(30:44):
And then we have our financialliteracy and then our 12
leadership principles, andthat's the three curriculum
pillars of all of our programs.
And we have an after-schoolclub that any school or group
can start in the country, andthen we have our annual summit.
That's every year in the spring.
And then we have our annualsummer camp, and our summer camp
(31:09):
we only allow 30 girls.
It's very high touch, highimpact, and so you know, having
100 girls or 200 girls, you justlose.
You lose a lot of that.
And so it's very powerfulhaving a small group.
But we hosted up in Sedona,arizona, which a lot of people
know.
(31:29):
Sedona, it's red rock country,it's gorgeous, we have horses
and a Creek and just an amazingcampus for these girls.
We have a few, we have a lot ofgirls here from Arizona, but we
have girls fly in from aroundthe country to join us, and one
of the my favorite things thatwe do is the girls start a
(31:50):
business on day one and sell thebusiness on day seven, and what
I mean by that is this year'sbusiness is a pop-up restaurant.
So they're going to start arestaurant, literally name it,
create the logo, create theexperience, the menu, everything
to work on it for seven days,market it and then on the
(32:11):
seventh day we're going to, weopen a ticket, tickets, people
buy tickets and they're going todo the pop-up restaurant.
We sell a hundred tickets.
The community and parents cancome and have this amazing
experience that the girlscompletely created.
So they're getting thoseentrepreneur.
It's just a platform for thegirls to practice their skill
(32:32):
sets, mindsets, leadership.
We have three divisions thatthe girls can be in front of the
house, back of the house or themarketing department and they
work on their business.
And then they see all thesecommunity members, we get the
mayor to come, some parents tocome and they have this two-hour
pop-up restaurant experiencethat they fully did themselves.
(32:56):
I mean it's just prettyextraordinary and so that's one
of the highlights of camp and soit's just magical.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
How fun.
I want to be invited.
I want to come to the openingday.
That sounds so awesome.
The other thing I love aboutthat is that, um, you know,
women, we have an eye for beautyand detail and service, and
service is such a beautifulthing, because that is the real
definition of love is dying toself.
(33:27):
And so to be able to create abeautiful experience for another
person and to serve them withgreat love and care is again a
skill that you do have to learn.
It's just not innate.
So you're developing that inkind of a fast track way.
In seven days In Arizona.
This sounds amazing.
It's fun.
You still have spots availablefor 2025.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We do.
So we end our registration May30th, and so registration for
camp is open until then 30th,and so registration for camp is
open until then.
And, if not, get on the waitinglist for next year.
And it's for rising freshmen torising seniors.
So high school girls, and it'sreally the most life changing
(34:14):
experience that they can, theycan do.
But I my personality, you knowI have, I have two strong things
about my personality when I'mvery purpose driven and all this
work right, but I wanteverything to be fun.
So so that's the combination ofof everything I do and camp,
(34:35):
you know, of course we have awater balloon fights and some
wars and the horses and theswimming and, you know, cooking
class and just all the fun stuffof camp and all the leadership
principles.
They really leave equipped withthese principles that they can
(34:57):
not only use immediately intheir life but beyond high
school, you know, again, helpingour girls become successful
adults.
And one of the sayings that wesay is leadership is an action,
not a title.
So I think a lot of it's just,you know, again, women sometimes
(35:17):
think, oh, I'll be a leaderwhen I get that title, when I
get that raise, it's like no, no, no, leadership is an action
right now.
Right, how are you leading yourlife?
How are you leading your money?
How are you leading your health?
That's leadership.
And how are you leading yourfamily?
Right?
That's the essence ofleadership.
(35:37):
And so, you know, that's one ofthe big things that we say to
the girls, don't you?
You know, just think leadershipis being the captain of your
team or the president of thatclub.
You're a leader right now,first and foremost in your own
life, and so she becomes thisunstoppable force when she is
equipped with that kind ofnarrative of like I'm taking
(36:00):
responsibility to lead my liferight and the tools to do that.
And that's what you know, forall kids, we, you know we need
to equip them, especially rightnow, when they're being so
pulled off of the internet andinfluencers and, you know, the
phone addiction.
So we've got to lean in asadults.
(36:21):
Like I said, whether you're anaunt or a parent or a
grandparent or just, you know, atrusted adult in your own
community, how can you lean into kids today?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
So good what you're doing for young women, dina.
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, my daughter's 10, but wewill have to put her on the wait
list for this, because thissounds just fantastic and I love
that, instead of just watchinginfluencers on social media and
just like consuming rightcontent and looking at what
(36:52):
other people are doing, you areengaging them and showing them
that they are capable ofbuilding their own little brand
and they're capable of servingat a great high level and that
they have what it takes to getthem through hard times Right,
and that translates to theirlife as wives and mothers right
(37:13):
when they're in our position.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
It's.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
I think you know so many times people think well,
women in leadership means thatthey're going to just sideline
their husbands and run roughshodover them.
No, good leadership meansrecognizing when to allow your
husband to lead and reallyequipping him and empowering him
to step into his role as theleader of the family.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yes, and I do want to say that back to the word.
To the word, and because it isone of my favorite words is it
is important to understand yourpriorities.
Faith comes first for me,parenting, then marriage, then
my two businesses, and and Istay very intentional around my
(38:01):
self-care too, because we knowwe've got to fuel ourselves or
we fall apart, and then that'sfor another.
I had a stroke at 27.
So that was all for a whole,nother episode, what I had to
learn the hard way of not takingcare of ourselves.
But you know, when youunderstand your priorities, you
(38:22):
know, and when your values areclear, decisions are easy.
And one of my core values isfaith first and family.
You know, and I still can runtwo successful businesses, so
and and so.
But I think when we get ourpriorities mixed up it becomes
all jumbled right.
You don't know your priority,and so it's really important to
(38:45):
understand what are you puttingfirst and then living that out.
Like does your schedule?
If I looked at your calendar,does that reflect that right?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh yeah, we talk about that all the time here at
Game as a Character.
God spouse kids.
Because, you started yourfamily, with your spouse right.
And so that's the foundation ofyour family.
And then making sure that youhave a united team you and your
spouse are really doing thingsthat make your child feel part
(39:14):
of you know team Patton, or teamLangdon right.
It's like, yes, I totally agreewith you that the order of
priorities matters and that ifwe can't get that right, or we
continue to live our lives withthat flipped on its head, then
everything else just unravelsand work becomes really hard.
Managing our businesses becomesso difficult.
(39:36):
Well, that's because ourrelationship with our spouse and
then our relationship with ourkids are fractured, are
fractured Heavy on us, right?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, and it's very like I I can't, I can't do any
of them well without God.
So I have, like I have to havethat connection.
And yeah, I mean my 30 minuteevery morning prayer and
meditation time and just gettingmy head and heart every day.
And the more my two businessesgrow, the more I am committed to
(40:08):
that.
You know, and I think that'swhere a lot of people you know
they have God in their life orthey have workouts in their life
or self care mind, body, spirit.
You know they're intentional,but then when life gets busy,
all of that disintegrates.
It's like no, no, no, no, youneed more of that right.
The bigger we are, you know,the bigger the family gets and
(40:29):
the bigger the responsibilitiesget, the more you need God and
self-care right.
And so that's the lesson that Ihad to learn and I am
non-negotiable around my faithtime and my self-care time,
because I'm the fuel to ourfamily, to my businesses, to
just living a life that ispurposeful takes.
(40:53):
It takes a lot, and I'm, youknow, and it's it's, it's
exhausting.
So we've got to rest, we've gotto refuel so that we can go out
and be a blessing to our, toour company, to our family, to
our community.
So it's a, it's a lot, butagain it comes back to work in
(41:13):
priority order.
If you don't know yourpriorities, everything's going
to collapse and then that'swhere the overwhelm and the
shame and just you know you get,you get.
You're in so much confusion youcan't get yourself out Right.
So we've got to stop and saywhat is my priority and how can
(41:34):
I redo my schedule for this week, this month, this year to
reflect my priorities?
If you stop and do yourself,put a timer on for an hour and
reset your calendar for the week, the month, the year inside of
your priorities and then prayover it and then do it, you're
(41:56):
gonna have a different lifebecause you're gonna finally
feel prioritized and to yourpriorities.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
So it's important, totally is important.
You got to find your true northwhen are you pointing so that
you can say no to all thetrivial many.
That's it.
That's it the critical few.
Okay, well, this Wings to FlySummer Camp is linked here in
our show notes, so folks justscroll down underneath this
episode so that you can clickand find out more and register
(42:26):
your teen daughter for thisamazing camp in Arizona.
Dina, it has been an absolutepleasure.
Thank you so much for bringingyour passion, your influence and
your faith and leadership toour show, and we wish you the
best and just hope that youcontinue in these efforts to
(42:50):
influence young women.
So thank you very much forjoining us.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Thank you.
Thanks so much for theconversation.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if you know of people
raising teen girls, pleaseforward this on to them.
Be sure that you're sharingthese episodes with your own
spouse, so that you're hearingthe same message and can have a
conversation about it, but alsoto your friends out there too.
We sure appreciate that, andwe'll catch you on another
(43:21):
episode of our show real soon.
Be sure to parent withintention.
Take care.
Hey, welcome back.
Parents, Listen.
Thanks for sharing our episodeswith people in your circles.
This is awesome.
I have some new download statsfor you.
So our podcast has now beendownloaded in 292 cities and 22
different countries.
This is insane, and it's allbecause of our listeners.
(00:24):
You are so faithful in textingour episodes out to people in
your network and forwarding ourTuesday email newsletters to
people in your contact list, soplease know that that makes a
great impact for us and it'sreally helping us to spread this
message far and wide.
Really helping us to spreadthis message far and wide, so
(00:45):
I'm super grateful for you.
Listen.
Today on our show we have anaward-winning leadership coach
who has co-founded a foundationcalled the Girls Rule Foundation
, and she has co-founded thisorganization with three
like-minded women who share herpassion for advancing the next
(01:09):
generation of female leaders andwith the belief that leadership
starts young.
Girls Rule equips girls withessential skills in self-esteem,
leadership and financialliteracy.
Praise God, these are all greatcharacter, strengths and skills
(01:30):
that we definitely endorse hereat Families of Character, and
their foundation hosts all kindsof really awesome workshops,
summer camps and after schoolprograms for girls that provide
them with the tools to thrive inlife and to step confidently
into their potential astomorrow's leaders.
(01:53):
So our guest, Dina, isdedicated to helping individuals
really embrace their greatness,unlock their potential and
create a ripple effect ofleadership and empowerment in
their communities and in theirfamilies.
So welcome to the show, DenaPatton.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Thank you, thanks for having me on this amazing show
that you have.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, absolutely so.
You are married and have yourown children, and you also have
this like fiery passion forparenting with greatness, like
really just trusting yourselfand your tools to get through
hard times.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour own family and where this
(02:41):
passion for parenting withgreatness comes from.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Thank you.
Well, I do have a junior inhigh school, she's 17.
So all y'all who are in theteen years, I am with you.
So not only do I work with teengirls and in girls rule, but
you know all the stuff is goingon at home, and I'm a law
(03:05):
enforcement wife and so myhusband is a 26 year law
enforcement.
And you know, one of the thingsthat we really decided very
early on was to parent withpurpose and intention and to
break the cycles of some stuffthat we didn't get in our
(03:28):
childhood.
You know, we all know thatparents aren't perfect.
We are not trying to be perfect.
We didn't have perfect parents,but we wanted to really look at
what are some things that wentin our own childhood that we
didn't get, that we want to beon purpose on, you know, in
bringing into our family, intoour values, into our parenting,
(03:52):
and just really get intentionaland purposeful and faithful
around our parenting.
And it's my number one job inlife is to be a great mom, and
that comes before my twobusinesses, before all the other
roles in my life, and it takesa, it's not easy, it takes a lot
(04:17):
of work to be an on-purposeparent, but you know what we
fall in love with progress, notperfection.
If you think parenting, likeyour whole game, is to be a
perfect mom, to be a perfect dad, that's just the wrong game
You're.
You know you're going to end upin shame and failure because we
(04:38):
all make mistakes and there'sno perfection.
So you know, that's really theessence is, we started out with
that like intention very youngand you know we're in this new
phase right now because she juststarted driving and has her own
job and so we're getting I mean, we just went from, you know
(05:00):
you're driving your little onearound for 16 years and then
boom, they have a license, theyhave a car, they have a job and
it's like, oh my gosh, I'mliterally a mini adult right now
.
So new season, really newseason.
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Well, you said it, like you spend all these years
driving them around and they'retotally dependent on you.
And then one day they're not,they get the keys and they pass
the test, dependent on you.
And then one day they're not,they get the keys and they pass
the test, and this, this life offreedom and independence, opens
up.
And then you're like settingthem free out there.
And you, you mentioned, youknow, this little adult.
That's right.
We have to remind ourselvesfrom the time our babies are
(05:37):
born, that we are raising adults.
And so we can't do that withoutbeing intentional or the culture
just swallows them up.
And then all of a sudden we'rein this panic that like, oops,
it's 18 years later, you know.
And then they just sort ofturned out how they turned out.
So I love that you said you andyour husband decided early on
(06:01):
that you were going to parent onpurpose and parent with
intention.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, it is.
You know.
I see unfortunately not only inour own community and friend
groups, but I see it a lot ingirls rule where you know their
girl becomes a junior or seniorand then the light bulb goes off
and they're like, oh gosh, Igot to get self-management
skills in financial literacy,still in time management skills,
(06:28):
food management.
You know, if they're 18 andthey're moving out, whether it's
to college workforce, movingout on their own, those skill
sets of you know self-management, time management, money
management, food managementThey've got to know those.
And at 18, isn't the time to belearning those?
It's, you know, it reallystarts really young.
(06:50):
But that super intentionalitystarts about 12 is what I coach
is that 12 to 18, you're reallyclicking into a new level of
responsibility.
And you know, when they'reyoung we're many.
You know doing many things likethat right, like keeping their
room clean or their littlechores there's little seeds and
(07:11):
possibilities of responsibilityand self-management.
But once they turn that 12 ish,13, you don't want to like
introduce them to responsibilityat 12 or 13.
They should have those littleopportunities along the way.
And then we're cranking that upat that 12 and 13 because we
know high school's hard.
(07:33):
You have to, really you knowyou have to use those skills in
high school, but then, once theyget out, it's 100% on their own
, you know.
So it's a major thing, but I've, you know, I've, really I
always say we only get 18summers with our kids.
So not only are we puttingcharacter and values and skill
sets in our kids, right, causewe are raising adults, um, but
(07:58):
you're all on the personal side,you're trying to get faith in
them, you're trying to getconnection with them, you're
trying to create memories.
Like we just took my daughterand five friends camping,
because I am really passionateabout creating memories.
You know just thatintentionality, whether it's a
pool party or it's a campingtrip, like I think parents, we
(08:22):
get so busy with our own lifeand survival and bills and
marriage and all the things.
Like what are you doing A tocreate connection, just in those
little everyday moments in thekitchen, right, just leaning in
for a hug or an emotionalconnection, because our kids
(08:43):
need it, although they'll rolltheir eyes and be like mom, I
don't need a hug, right, and Iwas like well, I need a hug, you
know, and I just we have tostop being offended.
Like, especially if you have ateenager, they are going to say
hurtful things like don't giveme a hug or I don't like you, or
whatever.
And you're like, yeah, but Ilove you.
(09:05):
Like you know, like you can'tlet your teenager stop your love
.
You're, you know, I actuallyhave a friend who has really
gotten really hurt by her son'steenage attitude, right, and
she's like I don't even want totalk to him, I don't want to hug
him, I don't want to doanything for him.
(09:25):
Like we really get, we can gethurt and offended.
When you got to pray about it.
I mean God will help youthrough that and take that
offensiveness off so you canfind your love again.
But we have to sometimes, youknow, what I've learned is
sometimes I just have to belight about it, of like when she
doesn't want to.
Sometimes, you know, what I'velearned is sometimes I just have
to be light about it, of likewhen she doesn't want to hug.
(09:46):
You know, I just I'll like befunny about it.
I'm like, well, I've got to getmy one hug in, you know, for
the day.
And she's like OK, but you know, those those memories are like
think about us.
You know we, whatever yourchildhood was, it was good, it
was bad, it was all over theplace, but there was a couple
(10:06):
good memories in there somewhere.
We want to do thatintentionally, and sometimes
it's the smallest things likewalking to the ice cream store
and getting an ice cream andjust checking in with them.
Right, don't make it too heavy,just check.
You know what's up.
What's up with your friends.
How are you Right?
Hey, you know what's up.
What's up with your friends?
How are you Right?
(10:26):
Hey, you know that thing thathappened a couple months ago.
You know how are you about that.
You know these kids right noware dealing with a lot.
I don't know about you, but Imean we've had a couple suicides
in our school.
We have hard things going on.
We have kids that their parentsare fighting and divorcing.
That's so traumatic on our kids, right?
(10:48):
So, although maybe your kidisn't going through something
right now, but they're seeingsomeone go through something,
right, and so they still needthat emotional, like they're
seeing the trauma or they'reseeing the divorce and of course
, it's running Well, are you anddad getting divorced?
Like they're scared, right?
(11:10):
So, just leaning in sometimesof just like, how are you doing?
And, hey, what you know?
What are your thoughts aboutthat and just letting them talk
to you Like so these are it's.
It's these little moments thatI feel like don't dig too much
or they'll turn off right, likeit's just being light and
checking in emotionally andmaking memories.
(11:30):
That's the phase we're in rightnow.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I love it Making memories and being intentional
about planning those littleoutings that they can call to
mind when they are adults, right.
So, one of the activities I'mhaving parents do in our date
night events that we host once amonth is just simply reflecting
back on their own childhood andthinking like what types of
(11:53):
things did my parents do thatcreated a fun summer memory for?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
me right.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And then like what feelings come up when you
remember that camping trip.
You know, I remember justfeeling like this appreciation
for nature at a young age orwhatever.
Ok, so would you like your childto, to experience an
appreciation for nature?
Yes, ok, then what can you doas parents today intentionally
(12:24):
to make that happen for your ownkids?
Right, and so, reflecting backon our own childhood, some
people I think kind of poo poothat, and they go like, oh, it's
in the past, you know, and ifit was ugly I don't want to look
at it, but it's important.
I'm glad to hear you say that.
You know, reflect back and lookthere so that it can inform
where you're going next, whatyou want to take and what you
(12:45):
want to get rid of.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Get rid of right.
You have to have thatdiscernment and you can.
You know, one of my favoritewords is and is you can.
You can leave the negative inthe past and take the lessons
and the memory of the good,because that is data.
You know, our past is data.
Our past is data that we canreally use for good, and I had a
(13:11):
pretty traumatic childhood.
It's why I'm really passionateabout A giving my daughter a
healthy, balanced, goodchildhood but helping other
girls have a good childhoodright.
And I think that it's importantto have the courage to look in
(13:31):
our past and look at thenegative because you can learn
from it, know better, do better.
You can say you know what.
This was not good in mychildhood, this was not good,
this was not good.
How can I do better?
And that's the lessons that Ithink are really powerful from
our past, and not just shovingit, you know, in the sand and
never looking.
(13:51):
Let's take those things thatwere hard and learn and do those
better.
But let's find the good thingsthat were really good and say
how can we duplicate that now?
And it's such powerful wisdomand nuggets that we can bring
into our own intentionality andI think it's important to
(14:16):
understand Zig Ziglar.
I pulled up this quote.
It says children go where thereis excitement.
It says children go where thereis excitement.
They stay where there is love.
And I just love that because Ilike exciting things and I was
definitely the kid that was likeoh, that looks fun over there.
Right, that's exciting.
But they come back to wherethey feel loved and really at
(14:38):
the highest level.
If you're an aunt, if you're anuncle, if you're a grandparent,
if you're an aunt, if you're anuncle, if you're a grandparent,
if you're a parent, you have aresponsibility to your kids,
grandkids, nieces, nephews, tolove them.
And in your own way, you know,and I think when you take that
(15:02):
on as a responsibility like howam I doing as a loving aunt,
right?
Or a loving uncle, I think itjust we can take that inventory
and go.
You know I need to lean intothem a little bit more and have
the courage to do that.
You know I had a, unfortunately, my brother just recently
passed away and he has a son andhis son was 24.
And I've always, you know, I'vealways had a relationship with
(15:25):
them.
But you know, I took my owninventory and I said I need to
step it up as an aunt in hislife, being more intentional to
call him, invite him over fordinner.
Lean into him.
I'm an entrepreneur.
I've been an entrepreneur for29 years.
He was thinking about his ownbusiness.
Of course I'm like I'm going tosupport you.
(15:46):
Right, I'm his biggest championand helping him start his own
business.
So there's little things.
If you have the courage to leanin and say you know what I'm
going to love on them just alittle bit more, and you're
going to be so surprised at howimpactful that really is
(16:07):
surprised at how impactful thatreally is.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Totally agree with what you're saying, and there's
always an opportunity to do justlike 1% better at connecting
with your kids, and I love alsothe idea of, as a couple, taking
an inventory of your past soyou can learn and appreciate
where your spouse is coming from.
Because, man, when you put twopeople together who were raised
with much different upbringingsand backgrounds, and then you
(16:33):
influence, that little duo,influences your children, but
you haven't really appreciatedwhere you've come from, that's
hard.
There can be a lot of strife, sodoing that little exercise and
activity with the sense ofcuriosity about your spouse like
hey, how did you handleholidays and summers and what
(16:53):
were your favorite memories, isa beautiful thing to bring into
that intentional parenting.
And then also, just like yousaid, just taking an inventory
of the people in your closecircle, right, your kids,
relationship with your kids.
How intentional am I beingabout that?
But then also, just like alayer out, my extended family,
my nieces and nephews, mygodchildren, right Like yes.
(17:16):
How am I connecting with themand helping them feel that
secure attachment that maybe wedidn't have?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
That's it.
Yeah, that's it, that's it,that's it.
You know, do they feel like ifhere's our, here's a hard
question, that we ask theparents when we're a Girls Rule
Foundation, when we're doing our, our programs, we ask the
parents, do you feel like if weasked your girls right now that
(17:42):
you are a safe, trusted adult intheir life, would they say yes
or no?
And you would think, as a momand dad, you would be like, of
course.
Like, of course I am.
But you'd be shocked at howmany girls and again, I don't
work with boys, but how manygirls will say my mom's not a
safe person for me.
(18:04):
I mean, do I love her?
Do I, you know?
But as far as like telling herreally hard or bad things, like
they don't have that, they don'thave that safety right in there
.
And that is, I think, one of our, one of our biggest objectives
as parents is learning thatsecure attachment.
(18:25):
How do I?
Not only for our kids, but I'mcommitted to being a safe adult
for other kids, and we have alot of kids through our house.
We're kind of like the poolparty house and that's one of my
biggest objective is alwayscreating a safe place that kids
can feel very loved and theyknow that if something hard
(18:45):
happens, that this is a safehouse, right, and that takes
some whoo, some.
You know you have to lean intothat.
You know Google say, you know,being a safe person for kids
like there's actually there'sbooks on it, there's there's not
necessarily training, butthere's, you know, there's so
much information I say, leaninto that and for you, for you,
(19:12):
because it's a privilege being asafe person for a kid.
They might not have that intheir parents and you are the
only one for them, right?
So it is really important to bethat safe place and you know,
as parents, knowing I, anotherthing that I often see is the
difference between enabling andempowering.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
And talk about that yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, I see it and and I, I, you know, I.
I see this in me where it'slike I want to do so much for my
daughter.
And when we have thediscernment of enabling versus
empowering, we really see thedamage we can do when we're
constantly enabling our kids,which means we're doing
(19:58):
everything for them.
At 14, I stopped calling andmaking appointments for my
daughter.
She had to learn how to makeappointments for her Her haircut
.
Calling a salon and saying, doyou have Tuesday afternoon open?
It's such a small thing that wethink nothing of it.
It's so small, but that onething can you take.
(20:23):
If you have a 13 year old orabove, I challenge you stop
making haircut appointments forthem.
Have them call.
Just that one teeny littlething can create courage, build
courage and to call someone abusiness and ask for an
appointment for yourself.
Or here's a second one that youcan do is a restaurant
(20:46):
reservation.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It's.
You know you're going to see avery, very nervous child, but
you know what, by the time theydo it four times, five times,
they're like I got this.
And their courage translates toother things in their school
life, in their, you know,applying for college, of asking
for things, because that'sreally what it is.
You're getting on the phone andyou're asking an adult, a
(21:09):
company, for something, areservation, right.
So these teeny, teeny littlethings where you don't see it as
something big.
But it's a place where you canstart to build their courage
with the outside world, rightand so.
But enabling is something thatI'm seeing a lot, and you know,
32% of kids drop out of theirfreshman year of college because
(21:35):
they weren't ready.
It's not there.
They weren't smart enough.
They weren't ready with theskill sets I mean the
self-management skill sets thatyou need when you're 18 and 19,
on your own or in college is alot, but when you've been
practicing those things for afew years, you're ready when you
(21:58):
leave, right?
So parents and grandparentshave that discernment when
you're about to do somethingthat they can do for themselves.
Stop, take a breath, ask themto do it, and what you're doing
is you're building that skill ofself-management, self-advocacy,
learning how to ask for thingsright, how to manage themselves.
(22:20):
You start that in high schooland you practice that in little
ways all over the place for fouryears.
They're going to be so set upto be on their own.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I love it.
You are speaking my language.
That gives them so much courageto assert themselves down the
road with bigger things Like Iremember one of our guests was
talking about how she coachesteens as well and she said like
just think about how often youknow your friends will say, hey,
(22:52):
let's go grab a Starbucks orChick-fil-A, and you'll jump in
your car and you'll go to thedrive-thru and then they're like
oh yo, I didn't bring my money.
Like can you pay?
And and like you need to havethe assertive skills to be like
I'm not going to pay for yours.
You were the one that asked tocome.
Like you know, I don't want tobe taken advantage of right To
have healthy boundaries and tobe assertive.
(23:13):
And so just the other day mykids saved for a chinchilla.
Okay, they had to have like$300 saved to buy a chinchilla.
We have no pets and this is ourfirst pet for now and my
daughter's 10.
And I said, well, what are yougoing to do?
Like you better call the vetand find out, like, does it need
(23:35):
a wellness check or whatever?
And so she said, oh, I don'tknow what to say, mom.
And so we did a little role playand she picked up that phone
and dialed and I could tell herheart was beating fast when they
answered.
And she, she talked to themabout everything that this
little chinchilla needed, andthe person on the other line I
could tell because it was onspeakerphone.
(23:56):
Yeah, it was like oh, okay,you're calling about your own
chinchilla.
Oh great, do you have italready?
No, we don't, but we're gettingready.
Okay, oh, this is great, you'recalling in advance.
I mean, they were just soimpressed that this someone
would be prepared and have thecourage to ask.
So I love that you're traininggirls in assertive communication
(24:17):
, to have courage and to buildthat confidence they need.
It also helps them to say no tothings in teenage relationships
that they really need to be,you know, ready to fend off and
say no to.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, well, today's girls.
I mean, frankly, I am like, ohmy gosh, blown away at what teen
girls manage today.
The world is moving so fast.
They have so much informationthat they have to discern
through.
Then they have phone addictionand social media addiction.
They're facing challenges thatwe could have never handled 20,
(24:59):
30, 40 years ago.
But here's the cool thingthere's more opportunities for
girls and women today than theyever have been.
But here's the negative.
This is the stats.
I've been doing this for 14years and God really knocked on
my heart 14 years ago.
(25:20):
I've been coaching CEOs andleaders for 24 years and he said
hello, I need to pull you togirls.
Our girls need you.
And you know I'm only workingwith thousands of girls, like
not hundreds of thousands, notmillions.
But when God brings you tosomething, say yes.
(25:41):
I said no for a couple yearsand then you know we finally get
the point of maybe God didchoose the right person.
And 14 years later, I'm stilldoing this work.
Because girls want to lead.
They now there's opportunitiesto lead.
However, there's still asticking point they don't have
(26:03):
the skills to lead.
Girls do not get the skills tolead until their 20s and 30s,
and that is what I'm changing isit was not good enough that
really those skill sets ofleadership were happening and
financial leadership, confidence, were not happening until later
college and then earlyadulthood, so that like 22 to 30
(26:27):
.
And I was like, uh-uh, uh-uh,uh-uh, girls need it at 12 and
13 and 16 and 18.
So they're ready for thoseopportunities to hit at 22 and
25 and 29.
For those opportunities to hitat 22 and 25 and 29.
So it's the skill sets that aremissing.
So we've got the ready, theyhave a willingness and readiness
(26:48):
, we have the opportunities, butthey don't have the tools.
And that's what Girls For WorldFoundation does and I love that
.
You mentioned or we weretalking about the past One of
the most special things in mychildhood that was positive was
summer camp.
I loved summer camp.
(27:10):
Like everyone, raise your handif you love summer camp, right,
like I loved summer camp and itwas always kind of this
background dream of having asummer camp.
Long story short, 10 years agowe did our first Wings to Fly
summer camp and this year willbe July 13th through the 19th
(27:31):
will be our 10th annual summercamp and it is the most awesome
program.
Like I, I designed it assomething that I wish I had when
I was little and these girlsliterally come in teenagers and
they leave leaders seven dayslater.
It's unshakable confidence,strong leadership skills and
(27:57):
mindsets that help them overcomeall of the think about the four
years in high school, all thetemptations, the addictions, the
bad people, the influences likeall these things that are just
pulling on girls that you knowwe don't have our boundaries
(28:19):
learned, we don't have emotionalintelligence, we don't have
advocacy Again, all these strongthings that later in life we
learn we don't have them at 14and 16.
So what happens is girls getvery derailed in these things,
right, and our girl statisticsare getting worse, not better.
(28:40):
So that's where I was like I'mdoing we have to have a summer
camp and it's extraordinary.
So it's my favorite, favoriteprogram of everything that we do
.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Well, thank you for your obedience because, like you
said, god can knock on yourheart and you can be like I
don't think.
So.
That's not me.
You got the wrong gal.
Here I'm, I'm keyed up for,like I'm good, right, right,
that is so awesome.
Well, when you were talkingabout that, I just got a little
like chill, because what it mademe think of with your girls
(29:12):
summer camp and equipping themand empowering them to be
leaders is exactly what you saidis that if they don't have
these skills at 12, 13, 14, 15,what happens and I can say this
with certainty as a counselor isthat they get wrecked in their
teen years with sexualrelationships, with friendships
(29:33):
that go wrong, with thesepressures to meet people on the
internet.
And then, all of a sudden, thissweet little girl that you saw
all these leadership qualitiesin and this passion, and that
God had marked her for somethinggreat.
It's totally sidelined, becausenow they're dealing with trauma
(29:53):
, and when you're wrecked withtrauma, it's very difficult to
be a leader in that state ofmind.
Now there's trauma, help andhealing and all of that, but
then again you delay your futurebecause you have to sit back
and dig into this healing yourtrauma, because you didn't have
the skills to say no to thoserelationships.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Exactly yes, so good.
Okay, the name of this camp isWings to Fly.
Oh good.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Okay, the name of this camp is Wings to Fly.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's Wings, yeah, wings to Fly, but our, our
website isgirlsruarleadershipcamporg and
it's on our website.
Girls Rule Foundation producesit every year and, and I'll tell
you so, we have three pillarsof curriculum.
It's self-confidence sorry,self-esteem and confidence.
(30:44):
And then we have our financialliteracy and then our 12
leadership principles, andthat's the three curriculum
pillars of all of our programs.
And we have an after-schoolclub that any school or group
can start in the country, andthen we have our annual summit.
That's every year in the spring.
And then we have our annualsummer camp, and our summer camp
(31:09):
we only allow 30 girls.
It's very high touch, highimpact, and so you know, having
100 girls or 200 girls, you justlose.
You lose a lot of that.
And so it's very powerfulhaving a small group.
But we hosted up in Sedona,arizona, which a lot of people
know.
(31:29):
Sedona, it's red rock country,it's gorgeous, we have horses
and a Creek and just an amazingcampus for these girls.
We have a few, we have a lot ofgirls here from Arizona, but we
have girls fly in from aroundthe country to join us, and one
of the my favorite things thatwe do is the girls start a
(31:50):
business on day one and sell thebusiness on day seven, and what
I mean by that is this year'sbusiness is a pop-up restaurant.
So they're going to start arestaurant, literally name it,
create the logo, create theexperience, the menu, everything
to work on it for seven days,market it and then on the
(32:11):
seventh day we're going to, weopen a ticket, tickets, people
buy tickets and they're going todo the pop-up restaurant.
We sell a hundred tickets.
The community and parents cancome and have this amazing
experience that the girlscompletely created.
So they're getting thoseentrepreneur.
It's just a platform for thegirls to practice their skill
(32:32):
sets, mindsets, leadership.
We have three divisions thatthe girls can be in front of the
house, back of the house or themarketing department and they
work on their business.
And then they see all thesecommunity members, we get the
mayor to come, some parents tocome and they have this two-hour
pop-up restaurant experiencethat they fully did themselves.
(32:56):
I mean it's just prettyextraordinary and so that's one
of the highlights of camp and soit's just magical.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
How fun.
I want to be invited.
I want to come to the openingday.
That sounds so awesome.
The other thing I love aboutthat is that, um, you know,
women, we have an eye for beautyand detail and service, and
service is such a beautifulthing, because that is the real
definition of love is dying toself.
(33:27):
And so to be able to create abeautiful experience for another
person and to serve them withgreat love and care is again a
skill that you do have to learn.
It's just not innate.
So you're developing that inkind of a fast track way.
In seven days In Arizona.
This sounds amazing.
It's fun.
You still have spots availablefor 2025.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
We do.
So we end our registration May30th, and so registration for
camp is open until then 30th,and so registration for camp is
open until then.
And, if not, get on the waitinglist for next year.
And it's for rising freshmen torising seniors.
So high school girls, and it'sreally the most life changing
(34:14):
experience that they can, theycan do.
But I my personality, you knowI have, I have two strong things
about my personality when I'mvery purpose driven and all this
work right, but I wanteverything to be fun.
So so that's the combination ofof everything I do and camp,
(34:35):
you know, of course we have awater balloon fights and some
wars and the horses and theswimming and, you know, cooking
class and just all the fun stuffof camp and all the leadership
principles.
They really leave equipped withthese principles that they can
(34:57):
not only use immediately intheir life but beyond high
school, you know, again, helpingour girls become successful
adults.
And one of the sayings that wesay is leadership is an action,
not a title.
So I think a lot of it's just,you know, again, women sometimes
(35:17):
think, oh, I'll be a leaderwhen I get that title, when I
get that raise, it's like no, no, no, leadership is an action
right now.
Right, how are you leading yourlife?
How are you leading your money?
How are you leading your health?
That's leadership.
And how are you leading yourfamily?
Right?
That's the essence ofleadership.
(35:37):
And so, you know, that's one ofthe big things that we say to
the girls, don't you?
You know, just think leadershipis being the captain of your
team or the president of thatclub.
You're a leader right now,first and foremost in your own
life, and so she becomes thisunstoppable force when she is
equipped with that kind ofnarrative of like I'm taking
(36:00):
responsibility to lead my liferight and the tools to do that.
And that's what you know, forall kids, we, you know we need
to equip them, especially rightnow, when they're being so
pulled off of the internet andinfluencers and, you know, the
phone addiction.
So we've got to lean in asadults.
(36:21):
Like I said, whether you're anaunt or a parent or a
grandparent or just, you know, atrusted adult in your own
community, how can you lean into kids today?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
So good what you're doing for young women, dina.
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, my daughter's 10, but wewill have to put her on the wait
list for this, because thissounds just fantastic and I love
that, instead of just watchinginfluencers on social media and
just like consuming rightcontent and looking at what
(36:52):
other people are doing, you areengaging them and showing them
that they are capable ofbuilding their own little brand
and they're capable of servingat a great high level and that
they have what it takes to getthem through hard times Right,
and that translates to theirlife as wives and mothers right
(37:13):
when they're in our position.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
It's.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
I think you know so many times people think well,
women in leadership means thatthey're going to just sideline
their husbands and run roughshodover them.
No, good leadership meansrecognizing when to allow your
husband to lead and reallyequipping him and empowering him
to step into his role as theleader of the family.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yes, and I do want to say that back to the word.
To the word, and because it isone of my favorite words is it
is important to understand yourpriorities.
Faith comes first for me,parenting, then marriage, then
my two businesses, and and Istay very intentional around my
(38:01):
self-care too, because we knowwe've got to fuel ourselves or
we fall apart, and then that'sfor another.
I had a stroke at 27.
So that was all for a whole,nother episode, what I had to
learn the hard way of not takingcare of ourselves.
But you know, when youunderstand your priorities, you
(38:22):
know, and when your values areclear, decisions are easy.
And one of my core values isfaith first and family.
You know, and I still can runtwo successful businesses, so
and and so.
But I think when we get ourpriorities mixed up it becomes
all jumbled right.
You don't know your priority,and so it's really important to
(38:45):
understand what are you puttingfirst and then living that out.
Like does your schedule?
If I looked at your calendar,does that reflect that right?
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh yeah, we talk about that all the time here at
Game as a Character.
God spouse kids.
Because, you started yourfamily, with your spouse right.
And so that's the foundation ofyour family.
And then making sure that youhave a united team you and your
spouse are really doing thingsthat make your child feel part
(39:14):
of you know team Patton, or teamLangdon right.
It's like, yes, I totally agreewith you that the order of
priorities matters and that ifwe can't get that right, or we
continue to live our lives withthat flipped on its head, then
everything else just unravelsand work becomes really hard.
Managing our businesses becomesso difficult.
(39:36):
Well, that's because ourrelationship with our spouse and
then our relationship with ourkids are fractured, are
fractured Heavy on us, right?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, and it's very like I I can't, I can't do any
of them well without God.
So I have, like I have to havethat connection.
And yeah, I mean my 30 minuteevery morning prayer and
meditation time and just gettingmy head and heart every day.
And the more my two businessesgrow, the more I am committed to
(40:08):
that.
You know, and I think that'swhere a lot of people you know
they have God in their life orthey have workouts in their life
or self care mind, body, spirit.
You know they're intentional,but then when life gets busy,
all of that disintegrates.
It's like no, no, no, no, youneed more of that right.
The bigger we are, you know,the bigger the family gets and
(40:29):
the bigger the responsibilitiesget, the more you need God and
self-care right.
And so that's the lesson that Ihad to learn and I am
non-negotiable around my faithtime and my self-care time,
because I'm the fuel to ourfamily, to my businesses, to
just living a life that ispurposeful takes.
(40:53):
It takes a lot, and I'm, youknow, and it's it's, it's
exhausting.
So we've got to rest, we've gotto refuel so that we can go out
and be a blessing to our, toour company, to our family, to
our community.
So it's a, it's a lot, butagain it comes back to work in
(41:13):
priority order.
If you don't know yourpriorities, everything's going
to collapse and then that'swhere the overwhelm and the
shame and just you know you get,you get.
You're in so much confusion youcan't get yourself out Right.
So we've got to stop and saywhat is my priority and how can
(41:34):
I redo my schedule for this week, this month, this year to
reflect my priorities?
If you stop and do yourself,put a timer on for an hour and
reset your calendar for the week, the month, the year inside of
your priorities and then prayover it and then do it, you're
(41:56):
gonna have a different lifebecause you're gonna finally
feel prioritized and to yourpriorities.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
So it's important, totally is important.
You got to find your true northwhen are you pointing so that
you can say no to all thetrivial many.
That's it.
That's it the critical few.
Okay, well, this Wings to FlySummer Camp is linked here in
our show notes, so folks justscroll down underneath this
episode so that you can clickand find out more and register
(42:26):
your teen daughter for thisamazing camp in Arizona.
Dina, it has been an absolutepleasure.
Thank you so much for bringingyour passion, your influence and
your faith and leadership toour show, and we wish you the
best and just hope that youcontinue in these efforts to
(42:50):
influence young women.
So thank you very much forjoining us.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Thank you.
Thanks so much for theconversation.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if you know of people
raising teen girls, pleaseforward this on to them.
Be sure that you're sharingthese episodes with your own
spouse, so that you're hearingthe same message and can have a
conversation about it, but alsoto your friends out there too.
We sure appreciate that, andwe'll catch you on another
(43:21):
episode of our show real soon.
Be sure to parent withintention.
Take care.
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