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August 5, 2025 22 mins

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Routines aren't restrictive shackles but freedom frameworks that help children thrive during the back-to-school transition and beyond. Science confirms that consistent routines improve children's sleep quality, school performance, emotional regulation, and ultimately prepare them for independent adulthood.

• Research shows kids with consistent bedtime routines sleep better and perform better academically
• Routines reduce decision fatigue, giving both parents and kids more mental energy for important matters
• Flexibility within structure creates safety and stability for children
• Make routines visual with charts or checklists that give kids independence
• Practice new routines before school starts with a three-day reset challenge

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey friends, welcome to another episode of the
Families of Characters show.
I'm your host, jordan Langdon,and today we're tackling a hot
topic that creeps up on us everyyear, like that mystery stain
on your kid's brand new whiteschool shirt.

(00:21):
That's right back to school Now.
Before you hit end on yourpodcast player, just hang with
me.
Okay, if you're honest andyou've had popsicles for
breakfast every morning thissummer and bedtime has become
more of a suggestion than arequirement, I'm here to tell

(00:44):
you you are not alone.
Okay, I too have looked at theclock and thought oh look, it's
1147 PM.
I guess they're nocturnal now.
But here's the deal.
Just because summer may havegotten a little loose doesn't
mean back to school has to bechaotic.

(01:07):
In fact, today I'm going totalk to you about how routines
yes, routines can actually setyou free, and please remember
that everything I'm recommendingto you I have implemented
myself.
This is what this podcast is allabout is me vulnerably sharing

(01:27):
about Team Langdon and thendoing the work and the heavy
lifting for you, so that youdon't have to think about how
could we do this, how could weget into a routine as well?
I've been there.
I've done that.
I'm here to offer you somesolutions.
So I know when you hear theword routine, you might be

(01:48):
thinking like Jordan.
Routines sound like a trap.
I want myself and my kids to bespontaneous and creative
Totally okay.
But what if I told you thatroutines are actually the
foundation that allowscreativity and freedom to

(02:10):
flourish?
Ok, hear me out.
Routines are not shackles.
They are actually freedomframeworks.
Ok, I'm going to throw a fewresearch nuggets your way.
Okay, kids with consistentbedtime routines sleep better

(02:31):
and perform better in school.
That's straight from the sleepfoundation.
We also had Dr Leonard Sachs onour show a few times here in the
past and he corroborates thisresearch.
He says parents children areoften diagnosed with ADHD and

(02:53):
anxiety disorders, maybe evenoppositional defiant disorder,
simply because they're notgetting proper sleep.
So there's lots of research andevidence that shows that kids
with consistent bedtime routinessleep better and perform better

(03:13):
in school.
And the American Academy ofPediatrics found also that
regular routines help withemotional regulation and lowers
the stress of both parents andkids.
Now, being able to regulateyour emotions means that instead
of going from perfectly fineright to I'm so upset I'm

(03:37):
throwing a massive tantrum thatzero to 100, you know, launching
off like a rocket in twoseconds.
Emotional regulation gives youthe ability to recognize when
you start cranking up to thefive, the 10 mark, the 15 mark,
and to be able to regulate, toturn that dial back down and say

(03:59):
what do I need to do to call mybody and get my mind back
online so that I'm in emotionalcontrol.
So sleep is imperative for yourkids to be able to have
emotional regulation.
And then the National EducationAssociation says that a solid

(04:21):
morning routine reduces familyconflict.
Hey, we want to reduce familyconflict, right, and it boosts
school readiness Again.
Another thing that we desire isfor our kids to be ready for
their day.
So we're not just making thisup, y'all.
Science backs it right.

(04:42):
Your sanity actually begs forit, and your kids will thank you
later.
Well, you know what I mean.
Maybe not today, but someday,probably.
I know for us, our oldest sonhas recently flown the nest and
he's living on his own and he'sgoing to flight school and he

(05:04):
has a job working in anemergency room and he thanks us
for helping him establish adaily routine.
This kid is meal prepping onSundays, eating lunch that he
prepared for the whole week.
When other people are going outto dinner.
He's staying up on, you know, agood sleep, hygiene, right,

(05:27):
routine, and it's awesome, youknow.
And we want to do our best withour kids in setting them up to
succeed when they leave our home.
Because the truth is, we're notraising kids home.
Because the truth is, we're notraising kids, we are raising

(05:49):
adults, adults who need to beprepared to live on their own
and be healthy out there in theworld.
So routines set us free.
All right, let's talk some realtalk here.
Okay, summer has just come andgone and let me just tell you
how some of our mornings looked.
Okay, I've had mornings whereI've gotten up and the kids are

(06:12):
in the cage with the chinchillaplaying, there's cold pizza on
the counter from last night andthey've decided they're going to
munch on it today.
But then they get distractedand decide they want to go play
with the rodent instead andtheir shoes laying out.
They've got their Christmaspajamas on in July, like, okay,
it's crazy.

(06:33):
Right, it's nuts.
It's been wild around our housethis summer, but here's the
kicker.
I'm not even mad about it.
Okay, summer is meant to bejust a little more loose and a
little bit more messy, and whatwe want is to make the
transition to school smoother,not more stressful.

(06:54):
So let's just bust some mythsright now, okay.
Myth number one is that routinesare boring.
Okay, how many times do yourkids say routines are boring?
Can't we do something fun outof the box?
Well, the truth is, routinesreduce decision fatigue.

(07:15):
And just imagine that, right,when you wake up in the morning,
you're not ready to make 10decisions right off the bat.
I'm sure, not, definitely notbefore I've had my coffee.
Well, routines reduce thatdecision fatigue.
The fewer choices your brainhas to make before 8 am, the

(07:36):
more energy you actually have toenjoy your day.
So that is a fact.
When we set ourselves up thenight before to know exactly
what we're going to do when wewake up, what time we're going
to get up, what we're going todo first and next, and third, it
reduces that fatigue, thatmental weight that is there in

(08:01):
the mornings and we're justallowed to get up and do what we
planned to do the next day.
So routines reduce decisionfatigue.
This is huge.
We need all the energy we canget, right, folks, okay.
Myth number two strict schedulescause stress.
Here's the truth of that.

(08:22):
Yes, here's the truth of that.
Flexibility inside of structurecreates safety.
I think that's worth repeatingbecause we want our kids to feel
safe, connected, part of thefamily, have a low baseline of
anxiety around our house and tobe feeling like they are part of
a team and that they have somepredictability around the house,

(08:46):
right?
Well, flexibility inside of astructured daily routine is what
creates safety.
So routines don't have to bemilitary style.
You can build in margin and youcan adapt your routines right,
but the predictability, again,is what gives kids the stability

(09:09):
that they crave.
Myth number three my kids hateroutines.
Okay, here's the truth.
Kids say they hate routines,but they actually thrive in them
.
Okay, they act out less, theysleep better, they even make

(09:30):
better food choices.
Check that out.
Plus, when they know what'sexpected, they argue less.
That means more peace back inyour day, okay.
So if your kids are whiningabout routines, you have to be
the parent that stands strong inthe face of knowing what's best

(09:53):
for them.
Right, it's okay if they saythey hate them.
What we know is that theythrive when they have a routine,
and oftentimes I'll challengeyou to set some routines for
your kids or with your kids andthen see how they function when
they're in these routines dailyand even notice if they say,

(10:13):
well, this is so much better nowthat I know what I'm supposed
to do before I go to schoolevery morning.
I like this.
Don't be surprised if your kidssay that this is what we're
hearing about all the time whenparents and families implement a
structured morning routine.
So let's get practical.

(10:34):
I want to give you a simpleformula for building a routine
that actually works.
Okay, a really simple way toget started at this is just to
anchor your day.
Okay, so what you're going todo is you're going to pick two
anchors, like wake up time, and,let's say, an anchor at the end
of the day, like dinner time.

(10:55):
Okay, just pick two anchors andthen schedule around those.
So look at your calendar anddecide what time is our family
going to wake up every morningand then mark that on your
calendar.
Wake up and then look at thecalendar and decide what time
you want to have dinner areasonable time to have family

(11:16):
dinner every night and thatmight be different on the
weekends than it is Mondaythrough Friday, but put that on
your calendar.
I always think it's best to usea paper calendar and handwrite
these things in with pencil sothat you can adjust them, you
know, as you're adding things inand structuring things around

(11:37):
your two anchors, okay, andeverything doesn't have to be
nailed down perfectly, but thosetwo anchors give your day a
structure so you can decide okay, if we're waking up at 630
every day, then what would be areasonable bedtime, you know, so

(11:57):
that our kids are getting eight, nine, 10 hours of sleep, which
is what their little bodiesrequire to function optimally,
okay.
So just start with those firsttwo anchors wake up time and
dinner time and fill in yourcalendar from there.
And the second piece of adviceis just to build in time buffers

(12:19):
.
Okay, my mom used to do thiswith us all the time.
She used to actually set ourclocks ahead of the true time by
10 minutes so that we would besure that we were ready when we
actually needed to go out thedoor.
So if your kids need to be outthe door at 730, at the door at
7.30, pretend it's 7.15.

(12:43):
Seriously, that 15 minutecushion is a game changer, okay.
And then make sure that youhave a clock visible that your
kids can read.
That is on the main level ofyour house where you're going to
, you know, leave in the morningand jump in the car, right, but
create those time buffers foryou and your kids.

(13:06):
And then the third piece ofadvice is just make routines
visual.
Okay, kids love charts.
Right, draw it out.
Use pictures for younger kids,make it colorful.
Post it on the fridge.
Kids absolutely love a visualrepresentation of what is

(13:28):
expected of them.
Actually, in our shop we havealready created a morning and
after school routine.
It's on one sheet, single sheet, and you can purchase it as a
download.
Print it off today, put it inone of those plastic sleeve
protectors and use a dry erasemarker for it.

(13:50):
Okay, kids need a visualrepresentation of what you want
them to do every morning.
Actually, janet, one of the galson our team here at Families of
Character, she implemented thiswith her kids and one of the
kids that they were having themost difficulty with, you know,

(14:12):
dad was nagging her to come on,do what you need to do.
Let's go, let's get out thedoor on time.
This kid, once she was giventhis you know structured routine
checklist, this colorful kidschecklist, she started crushing
her routine and was ready forschool with time to spare and

(14:35):
actually asking Janet and Reedhow she could help the family.
Guys, this has been tested andproven.
Kids, when they know whatthey're expected to do and they
themselves can independentlylook at the picture and
understand what to do and thencross it off or read the prompt

(14:55):
that says brush teeth, getdressed, tidy room, they succeed
.
Try it, I'm serious, you willbe blown away at how much more
independent your kids are andhow it brings peace back into
your days.
You can check that out atfamiliesofcharactercom and hit
the shop tab.

(15:16):
The fourth little tip ispractice routines together.
Okay, we cannot expect routinesto stick immediately.
Think about yourself andchanging a new routine.
Maybe you decide you want toexercise in the morning.
It takes time for that to stick, right, that's why they call,

(15:36):
you know, p90x 90 days ofsomething whole, 30, eating
whole foods for 30 days straight.
Right, because it takes thatlong for us to habitualize
something.
So we can't expect it to beperfect at the beginning.
But we can practice the morningroutine and I suggest

(15:57):
practicing this on a Saturday.
Okay, make it fun, right, use atimer, race the clock, offer
pancakes at the finish line,like, just make it fun.
We're going to do a schoolpractice on the Saturday before
school starts, maybe even havetheir school clothes ready.

(16:18):
They pick out what they'regoing to wear and boom, you got
it.
Here's another challenge foryou.
If you don't want to do theSaturday morning practice, I've
got a better, awesome plan foryou.
That's called the reset plan.
Okay, it's a three day practicechallenge.
So three days before school itcould be the week before school

(16:39):
starts you do a full practicerun.
Okay, day one, you're going topractice the wake up time and
the morning routine.
Okay, there's no school thatyou're going to, but you just go
through the motion.
So you set the alarms, you wakepeople up at the same, at the
regular time that they'resupposed to wake up.

(17:00):
Um, and then you know, showthem their morning routine, what
they're expected, and then haveeach one of them do it
independently.
Okay, that's day one, and thenday two you're going to do the
same thing.
Okay, guys, we're going to getup at the same time.
Or maybe you adjust the timebecause you go.
Oh, it takes us way longer toeat breakfast than I budgeted

(17:21):
for.
So you roll back the clock alittle bit further.
You get up and you do themorning routine, but this time
you add in lunches.
Right, you pack lunch or,better yet, teach your kids how
to pack their lunches, where thelunch boxes go when they're
done using them and then putthem in the fridge and eat them

(17:42):
later that day.
Have a little picnic that dayand celebrate that you had day
two of a successful morningroutine, okay.
And then day three is like thefull dress rehearsal right.
Wake up, do the routine, get inthe car and drive around the
block Like it's your first day.
Get kids pumped up about thisOkay.

(18:03):
And then go get donuts rightBecause you earned it Okay.
Practicing this in steps buildsconfidence for your kids.
It lowers your stress andtheirs, and it helps everyone
know what to expect.
This, again, is huge.
Imagine if, when you weregrowing up, you would have had

(18:27):
this kind of on-ramp to yourschool year, with your parents
guiding you through practicingyour morning routine and then
having reasonable expectationsof you to be independent.
This again is such a gamechanger for kids.
You will be so glad that youinvested the intentional time to

(18:48):
prepare them for the schoolyear that it will pay dividends
throughout the year.
Okay, let me just leave you withthis, because I know this
school year is going to be agood one.
Do not worry, right now you arenot behind in anything, you're

(19:09):
not failing.
Okay, if you're trying, you arenot failing.
What you're doing right now isyou're building a launch pad.
I told you, our oldest is inflight school.
I've mentioned that many timesand so many of these analogies
come to me because he's flying aplane and he's on the runway.

(19:29):
But you're truly building alaunch pad with your kids and
routines.
Routines are the runway topeace.
Okay, you are the pilot, youset the tone, you write up the
plans and you need to giveyourself credit because you're
doing better than you think youare Okay.

(19:53):
So, this back to school season,let's trade chaos for clarity
and let's get ahead of thestress.
And let's remember that freedomdoes not come from doing
whatever we want when we want,right, we had a little taste of
that in the summer and it getschaotic, right?

(20:14):
Freedom comes from knowing whatmatters truly, distilling down
the critical few that matter themost and then building rhythms
and routines around that.
Listen, you and your familyhave got this okay.
If this episode encouraged you,inspired you in any way, would

(20:35):
you do us a favor and send it toanother parent, send it to your
spouse.
Have a conversation with yourspouse about trying this out
right, doing a little practice,a little liftoff for back to
school together.
Right here at Families ofCharacter, we really are wanting

(20:56):
to build a community offamilies whose parents are just
so motivated to lead with loveand to live with intention.
Guys, we only have about 18summers with these precious
little kids and chances are, ifyou're listening to this, you're

(21:17):
well into the halfway point.
So we want to be sure thatwe're doing what matters.
And again, we want to be surethat we're doing what matters
and, again, setting our kids upfor the success that we want
them to have when they leave thehome and are out there flying
from the nest on their own.
Thanks for tuning in to theFamilies of Character show.

(21:41):
I'm going to catch you onanother episode of our show real
soon.
I'm going to catch you onanother episode of our show real
soon.
Stay tuned for more contentabout how to have a successful
back to school season with yourfamily.
Take care and God bless.
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