Ep. #163: The Back-to-School Game Changer to Bring Calm from Chaos

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The Family Huddle is a simple yet powerful 20-minute weekly family meeting that can transform household chaos into calm and share the mental load that often falls on one parent. Studies show families who meet regularly report better communication, fewer behavioral issues, and children who are more emotionally secure and less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

In this episode, we discuss:
• A simple, repeatable format: prayer, calendar review, family goal, family cheer
• Creates a space for connection, predictability and problem-solving as a team
• Gives kids a sense of belonging and ownership in family life
• Starts building leadership skills through participation in planning

Check out our Huddle Up Digital Bundle in our Families of Character shop for a more robust version of the family huddle, complete with videos and printables.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Anyone else ever try to have a serious conversation
in the car while someone in thebackseat is literally licking
the window?
Yeah, same.
I once tried to explain ourentire week's schedule, from
gymnastics and wrestlingpractices to that random wear

(00:21):
blue for school spirit day.
Random wear blue for schoolspirit day, all while driving
through traffic, dodging somerogue juice box and then
wondering if I'd remembered topack the lunches.
Spoiler alert, I forgot thelunches.
Welcome back to the Families ofCharacter show.
I'm your host, jordan Langdon.

(00:42):
I'm a parent coach and a fellownavigator of life's daily chaos
.
Today we're going to talk abouta tiny but mighty habit that
can seriously change the tone inyour home the family huddle,
aka your weekly family meeting.

(01:05):
And listen, this isn't aboutadding another thing to your
list.
It's about bringing peace tothe list and, guess what, it
might even reduce the number ofthings on your list.
So stay tuned to the end.

(01:27):
Now let's talk about the realMVP of household survival.
Hands down, guys, it'scommunication.
And yet it's often the firstthing to break down when life
ramps up, especially during theback to school season.
Everyone's going in differentdirections new classes, supply

(01:51):
lists, sports tryouts, ptaemails, lost water bottles.
Oh, another lost water bottle.
If you feel like you're holding73 tabs open in your brain,
guess what?
You are not alone.
Here's the thing In manyfamilies, one person, usually

(02:14):
mom, carries the mental load,that invisible weight of
remembering who has librarybooks due, who needs a snack
packed for after school, choirrehearsal and who still hasn't
returned that field trippermission slip.

(02:35):
This kind of pressure builds upover time when you're
shouldering the mental load ofthe family calendar, all the
activities and events thateveryone in the family must
participate in or we think mustparticipate in.
And guess what?
That pressure that builds up?

(02:57):
It doesn't just affect us, itaffects the entire household.
It affects the entire household.
It makes us snappy, scatteredand truly less emotionally
available.
It drives division betweenhusbands and wives and it makes
kids dependent on us, the parent, for information.

(03:20):
This is not the way we want tolive in family life.
What if you could share themental load instead?
What if everyone in the familyknew what was happening in the
upcoming week and took ownershipof it?
Even little kids are capable ofthis.

(03:43):
Well, that's where the familyhuddle comes in.
Studies show that families whomeet regularly, even for just 15
to 20 minutes a week, reportbetter communication and fewer
behavioral issues.
They also have children who aremore emotionally secure and

(04:05):
less likely to engage in riskybehaviors.
That was one of Harvard'smaking caring common project
studies.
Well, why is this right?
Because family meetings createa space for connection,
predictability and problemsolving as a team.

(04:28):
Y'all family life was not meantto feel like a team of one.
Having a weekly family huddle,that weekly connection, builds
trust and confidence, not justin your kids, but in you as the
parent.
You're showing your kids whatit looks like to lead with order

(04:54):
, confidence and intention.
And maybe you're thinking, yeah, but that sounds like something
like Pinterest.
Moms do right after they makequinoa muffins.
Okay, no, family huddles arefor real families with real
chaos.
This isn't a boardroom.

(05:16):
It's not a boardroom meeting.
No one's handing outspreadsheets or flow charts, and
you don't need a whiteboard ora theme song although, let's be
honest, I do love a good themesong.
We like let's get down, let'sget down to business.
You just need 20 minutes, somesnacks maybe and a willingness

(05:41):
to show up.
That's the truth about it.
In fact, the messier your lifefeels, the more your family
probably needs this.
And let me tell you, it's notabout perfection, it's just
about progress and direction.
So here's how the family huddleworks.
This is the simple, repeatableformat we teach here at Families

(06:04):
of Character.
First, just start with prayer.
Start by simply inviting God in.
Just start with prayer.
Start by simply inviting God inA short prayer of thanks or a
moment of quiet sets the tonefor your family.
Second, you're just going toreview the calendar.
You're going to post thecalendar where everyone can see

(06:25):
it as you're talking and talkthrough the week ahead.
Who has what what's coming up?
And get it all out there Schoolevents, sports, dinner plans,
meetings that you may have as aparent when you're gonna go to
church.
Right, talk through what'shappening every day on the

(06:46):
family calendar for the upcomingweek.
Third, you can pick a familygoal.
Right, we are trying to be aunited team and when the whole
team works together on onecommon goal, it moves the family
forward.
So, just pick one focus for theweek.
Maybe it's hey guys, do youthink we should work on eating

(07:10):
dinner together three times thisweek?
Or maybe the goal is thateveryone puts their shoes away
without a reminder?
Right, just keep it simple.
Right, small goals but a bigimpact.
And again, if you're askingyour kids to do it.
You want to do this goal, too,with them.
This shows family unity.

(07:32):
It shows that we are part ofthis team and we're all working
together to build character inourselves and then finally end
with a family cheer.
Every good team has a greatfamily cheer or chant, right?
This is a great way to end yourmeetings with a fun ritual, a

(07:53):
chant, a high five or theworld's cheesiest group hug.
Whatever you decide to do, it'syour family, it's going to
reinforce unity, it's playfuland it sticks.
Guys, this isn't a performance,it's a practice, and it's one

(08:14):
that builds unity, trust and asense of belonging.
And I'm telling you withcertainty, as a licensed
clinical social worker, atherapist for over 20 years
belonging is one of the mostpowerful gifts we can give our

(08:37):
children.
And PS, here's a pro tip Don'tyou, the parent, do all the
talking In your family huddle.
Let your kids share their wins,their worries and what they're
looking forward to.
Ask them questions in yourhuddle like what's one thing
you're excited about this week?
Is there anything that you'renervous about?

(08:59):
How can we help each other out?
These open-ended questionsfoster communication and
open-ended conversations thatjust reap great benefits over
time.
The more your kids feel heard,the more they will buy into your

(09:19):
family vision.
And when they help choose thefamily goal, they're way more
likely to follow through on it.
So empower them to take part inthe planning and problem
solving.
That's leadership trainingright there, designed as a
simple family huddle.

(09:42):
Okay, I gotta be.
I gotta be real honest with you.
Our first family huddle was atotal train wreck.
It was First family huddle wasa total train wreck.
It was Somebody cried.
I was feeling resentful towardseveryone because I was
exhausted from doing everythingfor everyone.
That mental load had weighed onme so much that I was kind of

(10:02):
coming into the family huddlethat first family meeting just
with just kind of a chip on myshoulder Right, with just kind
of a chip on my shoulder right.
And then my husband was tryingto lead the huddle, like I had
asked him to, but I keptinterrupting him and trying to
take the reins.
Yep, it was a total train wreck, but listen, that did not stop

(10:25):
us.
We committed to keeping thesegoing every single week, knowing
that if we kept the habit andthen just gave ourselves some
grace, just doing what we werecapable of in that moment, that
it would pay off and friends,I'm here to tell you that it has
Over 300 family meetings later,300 family meetings later.

(10:50):
We never want them to end.
This is something that our kidsbenefit from and talk about and
have talked about on the podcastbefore.
These family huddles are theglue that holds our week
together, these little 20-minutemeetups that we have, where we
show up for each other as TeamLangdon.

(11:12):
They've become sacred.
So if your first attempt or islike loud or ends up in
somebody's storming off congrats, you're normal.
Okay, just keep showing up.
If you're feeling overwhelmed bythis back to school hustle and

(11:36):
bustle, remember you're notfailing.
You're just full right, you'refull.
You're full of responsibility.
You're just full right, you'refull.
You're full of responsibility,love and probably a little bit
of fear.
But here's your invitationDon't carry it all alone.
Your goal is not to be a teamof one.

(11:57):
Invite your family in, sharethe load and build the habit.
The family huddle might feelsmall, but it's mighty.
It's the one place each weekwhere your people pause, connect
and remember that you're inthis together and that

(12:21):
togetherness that's what bringsthe chaos to calm.
So don't overthink this.
Just start, even if the dogeats the calendar and someone's
still licking the window.
You've planted a seed of peace.
Let God grow that seed.

(12:45):
Ease, let God grow that seed.
And if you'd like a more robustversion of the family huddle,
complete with a few videos thatI recorded and printables that
you can use inside your familyhuddle, check out our Huddle Up
digital bundle in our shop atfamiliesofcharactercom.
Listen, you've got this and,fred, if you would do us a favor

(13:08):
and share this episode withsomeone in your network, we
would sure appreciate it.
And if you could give us arating and review on Apple or
Spotify, this helps our showmove to the top of the charts
for parenting podcasts.
All you have to do is just openthe podcast app on your phone
or computer, find the name ofour show the Families of

(13:31):
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And then that's where you cantap on the star rating to select
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(13:52):
about our show, whatever it isthat our show blesses you with,
we would sure appreciate it.
Thank you so much for yoursupport.
We are always in your corner.
So until next time, stayintentional, stay playful and
lead your team with love.

(14:13):
I'll catch you on anotherepisode of our show real soon.
Take care and God bless.