September 9, 2025 • 46 mins
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What would you do if violence erupted while your family was having a picnic in the park? Do your children know what to do in an emergency, or would panic take over? These aren't comfortable questions, but they're essential ones in today's world.
Former Navy SEAL Jimmy Graham shares his expertise on family emergency preparedness and the importance of having a coordinated plan that includes children. He explains how his military and CIA protection experience shapes his approach to family safety and community building. We speak about:
• Importance of having a family emergency plan where everyone knows their role
• How to train children to respond to danger without creating fear
• Building discernment in children so they can handle situations when parents aren't present
• Creating a culture of excellence and responsibility within the family
• How to model intervention when witnessing problematic behavior
Find more information about Jimmy Graham's family emergency readiness programs at AbleShepherd.com or check out their YouTube channel to see the heart of the organization.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back parents.
You know, one of the things I'mreally passionate about as a
parent is personal protectionand planning as a family.
There are so many unpredictablethings that happen in our
neighborhoods, schools, at aconcert or even at a park, when
(00:20):
you're just having a simplepicnic with your family on a
Sunday, and so I think it'svital that we have a plan as a
family on how to protectourselves if we're in a
situation where there's violenceand we need to get away.
It's not enough just for us asparents to know the plan before
our kids to be in the dark.
(00:41):
So a few years ago, josh and Iand our kids decided to
participate in a program it's afamily emergency readiness
program that we found throughthe Able Shepherd program here
in Denver, and we were soimpressed by the way that they
were able to walk us throughdifferent exercises and
(01:03):
reality-based scenarios likereal scenarios you'd be in as a
family and do that with our kidswith us in such a beautiful way
.
That really helped unite us andhelped us to come up with a
plan for how to escape asituation that could be
potentially violent, and so thatprogram was put on by our guest
(01:27):
for today's show, jimmy Graham.
So welcome to the show, jimmy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, guys, jimmy's a veteran US Navy SEAL.
He's also a former CIAprotective officer and a fellow
on community safety at theCentennial Institute and a
fellow on community safety atthe Centennial Institute.
He's a nationally recognizedexpert on community safety and
readiness, with an emphasis onshootings and violent encounters
.
And, jimmy, you are also afamily man.
(01:56):
Yeah, tell us a little bitabout your family.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
That bio.
You need to send the bios inand I make sure that when I send
them in that's the highlight ofthat is also a you know, a
loving father and a very proudhusband.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You know an amazing wife that has focused on four
amazing children with me and Ijust love it.
I love being a dad.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Wow, wow.
Well, ok, before you go intoall the family stuff, because
we're going there, this is afamily show, we want to know all
about it.
But tell us a little bit aboutyour experience as a Navy SEAL
and how that kind of led to yourpassion for protection here in
our community and starting thisorganization.
Able Shepherd.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, I was kind of a handful as a young man.
You know, the high school yearslater, high school in
particular, and just had a lotof energy.
You know the high school yearslater, high school in particular
, and uh, just had a lot ofenergy.
And I've learned since that ifthat energy isn't you know,
isn't intentionally putsomewhere, it'll default to
somewhere bad and it wasstarting right.
So I needed a challenge, Ineeded to grow up, I needed some
structure.
So I found a challenge, a bigone, you know, and that was the
(02:59):
U S Navy SEAL teams came in alittle bit later than some of
the guys, at about 21 years old,and I tell people, I grew up, I
grew up in the SEAL teams, youknow, just getting that
structure and a paycheck and avision.
I was very blessed to make itthrough BUDS, which is basic
underwater demolition, SEALtraining, in one go, you know,
not quitting, not getting hurt.
A lot of good men get hurt andthen that's why they can't make
(03:22):
it and we're just very fortunateto not have that happen.
Uh, it's buds class two, oh,eight back in 1996.
Wow and uh, it's kind of a.
It's a pay in advance.
You know, organization If youpay and make it through buds and
then you're the right cut forthat um institution.
They, they take care of oneanother, they take care of each
other.
That's good Goodness.
(03:48):
So that was what?
15, how many years ago?
Oh, I don't know.
1996 is when I showed up at uh,at buds.
Uh went in on halloween into thenavy in 1995 and uh, yeah, I
did I did a little over eightyears at seal, team eight, and
deployed, um, you know, threetimes.
It's a two-year cycle to whereyou would back then it was,
you'd work up for a year and ahalf with the same guys and
deploy for six months and thencome back and do it over, and
then do it over and become quitegood at what sales are known
(04:08):
for.
So it was.
It was.
It was amazing.
It was an amazing experience.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
While you were in the seals.
Were you married?
Did you have children at thattime?
I did not.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Okay.
So, um, the seal teamdeployments.
I stayed reserves after my, youknow, eight plus years active
duty.
I stayed active reserves whichthey would call you back in,
send you down to South America.
I had not worked South America,so that was kind of cool to see
that Wow and uh and go downthere and train folks down there
and kind of watch the we saywatch the back door, you know,
train people to watch theSouthern door, which I guess
isn't a thing anymore, butanyways, we used to watch that
(04:38):
pretty closely, our country, andit was a great experience there
.
I was recruited by the CIA tobe a bodyguard trainer and then
also do the job as a bodyguardGRS global response staff, and
that's when I re-met my wife.
We dated for like five minutesbefore I went off to the Navy
and then re-met as adults andfell in love and started a
(04:59):
family.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
That is awesome.
So it was during your time as aprotective officer that you
reconnected with her Correct.
Then you moved on from thatposition we stayed there for a
while.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I moved to uh.
The family moved to montana.
That was just dream chasing andI've just been called to
montana so many times and I loveit.
I don't think montana's donewith me, but uh somehow
convinced her to do adestination wedding uh, north of
Yellowstone, a little tiny towncalled Prey Montana.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Chico.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Hot Springs is what it's called, kind of rustic,
beautiful little ranch, andthat's where we got married and
then convinced her to move toMontana, to Helena Montana, for
just shy I think of four years.
And then family brought us toCastle Rock, Colorado.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Okay, so her family was here, or yours?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Her sister, my sister-in-law and their family,
and she wanted to raise thefamilies together.
And she said that one day.
So I just put it on a calendarsaying on this day we're moving.
She said well, what if we don'tsell the house?
On this day we're moving.
And the Lord worked it out andwe got in a moving truck that
day and moved.
Unfortunately, we lost hersister to cancer.
Several years ago, and then herfamily moved down to Arizona to
(06:05):
get her treatment and ended upstaying there.
So that was kind of the reasonwe moved here.
It's not here anymore, but it'sa good fit for us here, Rocky
Mountains are just my style.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So, yeah, totally digging it, and what a special
thing, you know, looking back, Isuppose, after losing her to be
here for a period of time withher before that happened, not
knowing that that might've beenin her future.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yeah, I'm working on a um a book.
I've been working on it for alittle bit and one of the
chapters or sub chapters iscalled unfinished basements.
Like we moved into theirunfinished basement while we put
all our stuff in storage so wecould just find our feet and get
a house and do all that Um, andthen we're blessed with a
couple of years with that familyand then when she got sick,
they moved into our unfinishedbasement and it was just.
(06:48):
It was just special, it was agift and we didn't know it yet.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh, wow, and just just being led, allowing
yourself to be led by the spirit, or just moved by what?
Okay, when do you move toColorado?
Let's do it on this day.
And and then just followingeach other and saying, yes, as a
couple, okay, let's do this,and then wow.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, and being led that you know she just amazing,
that she supported my crazydreams forever.
And then you know, fellows,when you hear your wife say
truly like I want this listen.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yes, and then take action Right.
Wow, that's awesome.
So then you started having kidshere.
You've raised them here inColorado.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
We had a little girl in Virginia.
Okay, then we moved to Montanaand we had another little girl,
and then we moved here and thenhad a little boy and then,
surprise, another little girl.
And they're just, they'reawesome.
Three girls and a boy, yeah,Wow, and now the oldest is 15.
So driving permit and all that.
But reinforcements just showedup, right?
(07:48):
And we got a 13 year old.
So now it's like they justthey're very good at, you know,
at, at, at raising the boy.
I tell him, hey, I'm raising aman, and they're helping, like
I'll look over and say I'mleaving, hey, you're the man of
the house.
And he's like, yes, sir.
And I look over to Rebecca andshe goes.
I got him, Like you know, sheknows who's in charge, but she's
going to let him feel Totally.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
It's so good, that's so good.
I feel like we need more ofthat, you know, in our families
is just allowing kind of thosenext level responsibilities and
trusting them in that right.
You train them and then youtrust them to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Right, right, and then could they replicate it.
You know, just talking aboutthe training thing, there's one
thing to check a box, there'sanother thing to have.
You know, can they replicate itwithout you there?
Yes, right.
And then my daughter's justjust amazing discernment.
And she, there's no doubt in mymind, like when she was a
little kid, she was that onewhere the teachers would say
like, hey, if there's some kindof emergency or something, I'm
like, I believe you Cause, likeit's borderline bossy, right,
(08:44):
like.
But when you need somebody totake charge, she's the one.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And all the kids aren't like that and they
haven't grown into that yet, butshe is, and usually there's a
kid in that class and it honorsthem to give them that kind of
responsibility.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Absolutely.
I love the word honor, becauseit's true, you know, and they
get such pride about themselveswhen they're able to take care
of a situation, especially youngmen, and it's just something
that we have to nurture in them,you know, so they'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
There was another young man that was a good buddy
of mine, his son, and we kind ofpulled him out of class and
said hey, uh, you know, withpermission out of the school,
all that stuff.
And they were um, you know, if,if we need to get kids to
safety and the parent and theteachers can't do it, we need
you.
And we took him for a walk andsaid this is the reunification
point, this is how you go, thisis plan A, down the street, but
if there's a threat, don't godown the street, because if
there's a vehicle involved itcould be a weapon.
(09:30):
Go this way.
And it did.
It lifted him up and said canwe count on you for that?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And he's like, yes, sir your kids go, so you have
participated with that schooland preparing them in case of an
active shooter situation.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, absolutely Every.
Every school they've been to,and that was a previous
Christian school.
Right now they're at a charterschool.
Same thing we're in there andwe, we do.
Um, you know, it's funny thatthe students actually
coordinated this for two yearsin a row where they asked if I
would come in for PE and do aself-defense type class and
they're laughing and it's funand I'm throwing dodgeballs and
they're learning how to blockthem and you know, in case
somebody took a swipe at theirface, you know like punching,
but you just teach them afoundational thing where they're
(10:10):
all kind of laughing, breakinga sweat and doing some physical
activity and they love it.
You know it's like it's alltraining.
Does it have to be regimentedLike major pain?
You know, like this militarykind of thing.
It's like, hey, you know, mykids have been training since
they were, you know, hip high.
Um, and it's been fun.
It's been a little through formof exercise and all that kind
of stuff.
Um, and like we do a thingcalled link to me that you know
about.
You know it's like you link tome and they'll touch me pockets,
(10:32):
belt, elbow, whatever, andwe've been doing it since they
were little, crossing parkinglots and we have like, okay,
yeah, that has to be built.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
That's right.
So your kids all know exactlywhat to do when you say a
certain command or yes.
Yes, they're, they're movingand they, they move in a certain
direction.
They, they know who to link toin the line and and which way to
.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah, within seconds, it would.
They would.
They would be physicallytouching myself or Rachel to buy
us a second to put a plantogether.
We'd be moving as a family, notjust like you look up and
everybody spreads to the fourwinds.
Not going to happen, why?
Cause we trained them Otherwise.
We had a conversation.
We've been doing things in aparking lot.
Now the parking lots are thereand get hit by a car, but what
they're really learning is athing called linking.
That we taught CIA personnel,like if you get scared and
(11:25):
something blows up or somebodyshoots or whatever, get behind
me and touch my shouldersbecause I need to be messing
with my gun or whatever.
Right, I need both hands.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I tell people you know, jokingly that Whitney
Houston, kevin Costner bodyguardmovie where you're like
carrying a woman and fighting adude, that's not a thing, right?
You need your hand, so you'regoing to need to have your hands
accessible and be a hundredpercent.
But you are accountable.
So if I look over and they'rethey're they're linked onto
Rachel and she's moving them tosafety, I'm going to be on the
line between what we callpackage and the greatest threat.
(11:53):
So there's the threat.
There's my family.
I'm standing between them untilwe figure out that next plan.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yes, that's what I loved about that, that family
emergency readiness program.
I mean.
I remember we were all in thisroom and it was kind of this,
you know, simulation.
It felt really real.
You know, like, hey, you'resitting at the table at Chili's
and someone walks through thedoor and decides this is going
to go down, right, what do youdo?
(12:18):
And you trained us exactly howto link onto Josh, you know, or
me, if he's, if he's making aplan to, to help, to help
protect us or anyone else inthat situation.
And then we go through the otherrooms as if we're exiting the
restaurant, you know, to get tothe back door or whatever, and
people are coming at us andwe're, like, you know, fighting
them and the kids.
(12:38):
You would think that that wouldfrighten children right to be
put in a situation like that,children right To to be put in a
situation like that.
But the way you and your staffwere just so gentle with us and
use language that wasunderstandable to our kids I
think our youngest was um, sevenat the time and a girl and um,
they just they just didn't haveany anxiety about it.
(12:59):
As a matter of fact, I thinkthey felt so much better
afterwards because it was like,wow, we have a formulated plan,
we know what to do, and so wehave what we call a family
huddle every Sunday at our house, and so it's usually about an
hour long now Started out beingmaybe 10 minutes where we'd go
over the calendar and just kindof get everybody communicating
(13:22):
about the happenings of thefamily and making sure that
we're talking about anythingthat's coming up, so that we can
be, you know, aware and planfor this.
Well, after that program, westarted practicing our link on
in that and, to be random, joshwould just be like link on and
then jump out of our chairs andyou know, and out the front door
(13:42):
.
And so another thing that weexperienced in that program was
what I don't remember it wasn'tlive, but it must have been a
video that you showed of agentleman that was that had
videotaped himself, um, with hischildren in their beds, right,
and they were all practicing afire drill, oh that was me, oh,
that was you.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Oh, that was your family.
Yeah, they were so little, thatwas so awesome, and so you was
your family.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, they were so little, that was so awesome and
so you were explaining in thevideo.
Yeah, like everybody's in theirbeds now and you can see them
in their beds.
They had the blindfolds on.
Yes, they had blindfolds on.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Mom was out of town.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It was awesome so cool, and so the whole idea was
you know, if there's a fire atyour house or something happens
like, how are you going to getyourselves out?
I mean, this is something thatif your children go to school
they learn how to do from theirclassroom.
They practice it once or twicea year.
But how many families honestlyhave a full fire escape plan in
(14:38):
their homes and havecommunicated with neighbors down
the street that, hey, can wecome there if, If you know if
our house is on fire, there's athreat?
I was thinking we didn't evenhave one at that time, so we
practiced it, and so when youcame into the studio today, my
husband and I were joking abouthow there's marks all over our
screens here because, we, we, wedropped down after your, your
(15:04):
class.
We got the extendable laddersthat you can throw out the
window.
We got tourniquets, you know,put them in our cars.
We got all prepared andcontinue to practice.
You know how do we do this as afamily.
It's just, I don't know whatare kind of the statistics Do
you know of, like, on average,how many families have a plan in
(15:26):
place to escape their home?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't know other than most don't, right?
I don't know a statistic as faras a number.
I just know that once thathappens, it's it's, it's it's
test time, right, it's test day.
And what happens next?
There's been preparation for it.
So, example I go on a daddydaughter um camp out with my
girls this year, right, and itwas super cool, and it was, it
was um, all these families.
And we're standing there inshallow water Uh, the girls are
(15:49):
in a little little deeper spotand I see one of the dads dive
in like dives in.
As soon as, I mean as soon as Isee his feet come up, alarms
start going off in my head.
He stands up and he doveheadfirst into a rock and he's
gushing blood Right.
And I'm like, um, I'm like, hey,come to me right now, walk to
me.
And I'm like I go into, likemilitary, military, like walk to
(16:09):
me now, cause he's about tofall over.
It looks like he got clubbed.
Uh, you know, his eyes are justnot right.
I'm like he can walk to me.
He starts walking over there.
It's real cold water.
I'm okay, I'm like you're notokay, walk to me.
But he's wet.
He puts his hand up, feels it,and let he just pour.
(16:34):
Be there, right, yes.
And uh, another dad brings it,throws it to my daughter who's
13.
And now it's kind of cool,Cause she's sitting there like
dispensing what I need, and nowit's pressure.
I just run over and grab thedude's head and put direct
pressure on it and then we getsome stuff and then I you know I
dress it wrap his head.
Now we're off to the emergencyroom because we're really gonna
you might have messed up yourspine all this stuff and he's
got a good three gouges onethat's just nasty and then head
(16:57):
rolled forward and two more.
And I hear something from thegirls that are like everybody's
just kind of frozen yes mouthsare open, eyes are big and I
hear and this is just such acompliment, you know that as dad
, sometimes just it's just gold.
I hear my 15 year old.
They're like what, why did hedo that?
What's what happens?
Like it's everything, and shegoes it's okay, my dad's got it.
And I'm like oh, because I'mlike I'm kind of like, oh, this
(17:17):
is serious, yes, hope his neckand I'm just kind of in that
mode and one daughter's sittingthere dispensing medical
equipment to me and the otherone's like my dad's here, we're
good guys and I'm like I don'tknow if we are cause it's next
to me or whatever, but it wasjust, it was just awesome to
hear you know that they feelsafe and they're like hey, my
dad's here.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
They trust that you've got this situation.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
There's even stuff in our truck.
And why Cause of right now?
We didn't plan on this.
We're just hanging out at theCreek river and now there's a
guy gushing out.
Get in my truck right now, weteverything, go to the emergency
room.
You know, guys got this.
Watch my kids.
I'll take care of my kids andI'm off to the emergency room.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
From the mountains, right.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So we've got to go find a hospital.
Yes, and why?
Because he needs it.
People are like was?
That military training.
I'm like that guy needs a helptraining Like it's our job to
responsibility, to take care ofone another.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yes, I've heard you say that so many different times
in interviews and that you'reall about protecting people in
general.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, and I, that was something that I learned about
me.
That kind of surprised me.
I know this sounds weird, as Iactually care about people.
I don't know.
You know, and you're like, well, who doesn't?
I'm like a lot of peopleactually don't.
Like last night I'm leavingchurch we just first Tuesday's
thing at brave church and I'mrolling out and uh, um, a guy's
just sitting there in a verydangerous spot on Hamden, going
(18:38):
East right up the hill from ourchurch, and he's just I don't
know what's going on.
So I circled back to find outand his car stopped and, um, I
said, let's get you out of theroad.
So I put my truck in a muchbigger truck with lights and all
that kind of stuff.
Um, you know, flashers push himout of the road.
You know, mexican fellow thatdidn't speak a lot, I speak some
Spanish but there's a younglady there and I was like, oh,
I'm gonna go get him gas.
He gave me like 15 bucks andthey go.
So get him off the road, pullup there.
She pulls in 7-11.
(18:58):
I go, ma'am, you know, I pullhim behind.
I'm like, do you mind if Ihandle this, is it?
You know, young lady probablyshouldn't be hanging out middle
of the night, you're doing allthis stuff by yourself, and I
was like I can, I can do this.
And she's like, oh, appreciateit, get him gas, come back out
and buy a tank, do all thisstuff and bring it back and help
him out.
Um, and it was a much bigger.
It wasn't gas, it was asignificant problem with his car
.
So he's calling his dad and allthis other stuff.
(19:26):
But you know, you're good, I'mgood, whatever, but I, the
number of guy, I just know he'sin a spot, I'll get you a can
and some gas and you're needsome more gas, by the way.
So take your money back and allthat kind of stuff.
But you know, uh, that thatused to be the thing.
If you ever go to like Canada Idid a motorcycle ride, 12,000
mile motorcycle ride to honor afallen seal buddy If you get up
into the big country, likeAlaska and Canada, everybody
(19:48):
stops why?
Cause there's nobody elsecoming.
So they just they kind of theydepend on each other, cause if I
broke down I would need you bad.
So you're broken down, so I gotyou and it's just a felt thing
and we'd pull over for somethingno-transcript.
(20:11):
So our motorcycle group carriedthe litter back up to the road
for the volunteer firemanbecause they needed help.
Couldn't do it, wow.
So it's like that's, that's anold.
We say this isn't a new thing,it's a very old thing.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
It is, we get back to .
Speaker 2 (20:24):
We've just been very comfortable, which is which is
the goal.
We should be in this lap ofluxury.
We are.
You and I are ultra rich whenyou talk about globally you know
, and we got comfortable andsaid nah, somebody else's job,
it's like no, it's never been.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That's right and and I'm a firm believer we were not
created for comfort.
That's right.
We grow and we are our best.
And we go to the next levelwhen we are in a place of
discomfort right, where we haveto put our own passions and
desires and our own, you know,comforts aside.
Like man, you could have beenhome in bed right, or having a
beer on the patio or somethingafter after your church night,
(20:59):
and he went, this little, stillsmall voice just said you know,
jimmy, you better just circleback.
And he just tuned into that andjust participated in the moment
.
We're a hundred percent there.
And then, when that was over,then you went on your way.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We caught.
You know, to me, shepherding mybusiness, able shepherd that
word shepherd means a lot.
It means teacher, leader andprotector, right?
And how do you shepherd?
I'm going, you're invited, Ican't make you do anything, I'm
just going to go do this thing.
Everybody assumes everybodywould expect or hope that
somebody would protect, uh,would stop and help their wife
and children on the side of theroad.
Then why aren't you doing it?
Like, where's that person goingto come from, right?
(21:33):
So you got to model it andwatch these little people go.
That's, that's the right thingto do, you know?
Or there won't be any, andthat's not just side of the road
stuff.
That's, that's life.
You know, it's like that.
The guysve of mine Put theshopping cart back in the crib.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I'm busy Like let the kid make a minimum wage, do
that in the rain.
It's like no, you borrowed thatconvenience.
They provided for you.
Return it.
And then, it makes it a littlebit easier for the next guy, and
that concept instilled in ayoung person is the difference.
It's the difference, right.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Absolutely, and it's the small things like that,
right.
We are kind of the decisionsthat we make in the small
moments, yeah, and so it's soimportant.
I love to hear that you'retraining your kids in this way,
you're modeling for them thisbehavior, that, yes, if it takes
an extra minute, do it.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah, it's the right thing and it's small.
People are like, hey, what's abig, significant thing we do?
It's a million small things.
Right it's.
I've got a.
I did a podcast called Grahamfamily sayings, cause I've got
them and it's good it's.
I'm writing about this and I'lltell my kids, like simple
things like, um, graham's, don'tlie, cheat or steal.
And they say, or litter Causethey know I hate litter, right,
or litter.
Or I'll say stay safe.
And they repeat back staydangerous.
(22:42):
Or just, you know there's,there's hundreds of them, and
they just they.
They hear them all the time.
And you know he's like, oh,this kid did that.
And I'm like, um, I go.
I just did this again yesterday.
My son's talking about some kidthat did something.
I go well, are you in charge ofhim?
He goes no, who are you incharge of?
He says me.
I go, what are you going to do?
(23:04):
He says better.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
And we say that all the time it's like he can do on
what you can change right, whichis ourselves, and we can always
be growing to do better.
I love that Just just kind ofputting that back on your kids.
Now, when we spoke on the phonebefore this interview, you
mentioned that there wassomething really cool.
I thought it was really coolthat you do with your kids every
morning before you kind of allgo your own separate ways and I
(23:28):
wondered if you'd share thatwith us on this episode.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I don't even remember what it is.
Is it the car thing?
The?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
little huddle up where you guys or maybe that was
it the grand family sayings,where you say something to your
kids and then they echosomething back to you In the
truck.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
You mean yes, because we do a bunch of stuff.
I don't say I got to.
I get to take my kids to schoolright.
Monday, wednesday and Friday itis the baby, and then on
Tuesday and Thursdays it's theolder kids plus neighbor kids.
We carpool from Castle Rock toLone Tree but I get it's just a
fun thing where I get in and Igo, okay, sound off when you're
buckled, and you'll hearChristian buckled, you know
(24:04):
Cambria buckled, you knowRebecca buckled, sarah buckled,
sarah buckled.
And I go daddy buckled rolling,and now go wheels up and I
mashed the gas Right.
And it's funny, just from thatprotector world, even in the
military, that understand thatyou know we would check out of
GRS if your bodyguards andyou're heading out into Iraq or
Afghanistan or you know whatever, whatever.
Um, you would call in on theradio and you would say, hey,
we're rolling.
(24:24):
And then you know, wheels up,we'd let the other vehicles know
.
You know rails up.
We'd let the other vehiclesknow, hey, I'm leading out
rolling, that I'll fall behind,and somebody would call the base
, say, hey, we're rails up, andsomebody would write that time
on a board because they left atthis time and we're expecting
back on this time.
You can't lose track of guysthat are out in the field.
That's right so that's wherethat comes from and it's just a
fun thing that they absolutelyknow be kind to other people or
you know, just whatever model,courage, be kind, whatever, uh.
(24:56):
And they all kind of sign offand then I say I love you.
I have to all of them, even notmy kids.
I'd be like love you, becca,have a great day.
I love you, sarah, have a greatday.
They're like love you, dad.
I'll say no, come over, give mea kiss, and then they go, but
it's every just reminding themright every day.
And then at night, every night,we do a thing that we've since
called the promise and I tellthem.
(25:18):
You know they repeat after me Isaid I love you.
They said I'm proud of you,you're a good girl, I love being
your daddy what?
And then I pray and I say itevery single night because I
need to.
I get it.
We're going to.
They're going to grow upsomeday and I'm going to.
It's going to hurt, but I'mgoing to go from being the
authority to the influence.
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
And they're going to make good decisions and probably
bad decisions, and if there'sthat moment when they're sitting
there on a curb and they'vedone something stupid, or maybe
they drink too much or whatever,I needed to remember, no matter
what, no matter what calling mydad.
You know there's that image ofGod.
Is it?
I messed up?
My dad's going to kill me or Imessed up?
I need to call my dad and Ineed B to come to their mind.
(25:59):
I need to call my dad right now.
He loves me, he's got moreresources and he would be here
in a second.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Always forgiving.
That's right Right, alwaysloving, always forgiving.
That's exactly what I wasthinking of.
What you talked about, I meanthat evening routine, so
important, you know.
We talk about how there's likenine most important minutes of
the day in a child's day andit's the first three minutes
when they wake up in the morning.
(26:25):
It's the first three minuteswhen they see you, when you pick
them up from school, becausethey've been separated from you
for the longest period of timeeight hours or whatever and then
the last three minutes beforethey go to sleep at night.
And for you to be filling their, their minds and their hearts
with such a message like that isjust beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That's fantastic.
I haven't thought of it thatway.
That's good, yeah, nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Three, three and three, yeah, nine minutes Three,
three and three.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, I know, and in public speaking, you know, this
is a thing and that's prettymuch what I do now.
Part of what I do is they saypeople remember the first thing
and the last thing you say,right.
So you start strong, finishstrong, content the middle and
all that stuff, but the thingthat sticks and that that would
align with that.
So it's good.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yes, I mean who wants to go into school?
That's a and, just like wetalked about at the beginning of
the show you have no idea whatcould happen in the day.
So you making those connectionsand those bonds with your kids,
you know when you when youdepart from each other and then
you get back together.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
it's just vital, you know this you know it's popped
in my head take pictures Like Iwas not a picture guy, really in
the middle I've some.
But um, I've been that guyunfortunately too many times,
that scrounging through aRubbermaid container because you
got a phone call that you lostsomebody right For whatever
circumstances, because at thatmoment those photos become gold
you know, so, whether it beyoung people, older people
(27:44):
obviously there's older peoplein the program.
There's really good friends ofmine that, just just because of
time and the age, I can bearound forever, you know.
So, when you're together andyou do things, take pictures
cause you're going to bescrambling for them on that day,
uh, and documenting thosememories of that thing you did
you know, if you got it, youknow like this new facility
we're we're currently pursuing.
We're going to decorate the uh,the decor that's going to be
(28:04):
our community.
You know it's like, isn't thatyou with your son when he was
six?
Like it is.
What about that?
Like the black and whites andthis and that and the decor will
be our community.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I love that.
Well, speaking of yourcommunity, I imagine you have a
lot of followers and a lot ofcommunity members that are just
on board to do kind of whateverJimmy Graham and his posse are
doing right now.
So tell us what are some of thefun, exciting things that you
guys are doing are doing rightnow.
So tell us what are some of thefun, exciting things that you
guys are doing you mentionedsomething about, like off-road
(28:35):
vehicles in the mountains orsomething.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Oh yeah, it's so good , it's and this is something
that I didn't plan it just kindof it's.
It's like I think a lot ofveterans get out of the military
and they just look at what'savailable and they're like man,
I can't find a fit for me.
There's those spiritual giftsand callings, and I just
couldn't find a thing, and I'vetalked to other vets like me
neither.
So I just settled for X and Ireally I tell people I would not
have known to pray for thisLike there wasn't, um, that spot
(28:56):
, so I had to create it, meaningGod created a space and it's
exactly me, right?
So, um, the thing that I sayable shepherd is is there is a
very real threat that is that ishunting our kids, right, and
it's ultimately it's Satan, butin the form of people, because
it manifests as people that themost innocent form of Jesus
Christ is our children, bothborn and unborn, and they're
(29:16):
under attack, not in the shadowslike before, it's in the
daylight.
They're under attack and peopleare walking in to schools and
hurting them.
That needs to be addressedright now, like that needs to be
efficient and effective,efficient and effective and it
needs to be.
Somebody's coming in seconds,not minutes, seconds, right.
So we're very focused on themaking that more efficient On
(29:37):
that day.
I don't care about that, maybea child, about their history and
their dad and I don't care.
I don't care You're.
You're a threat, you're hurtingpeople.
It's got to stop.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
But I do care, like on this day I don't care, but
ultimately I do care.
So how did kids get that brokenwhere they're going to come in
and shoot at mine.
So we have to focus not on oneor the other, but both
simultaneously.
So we are, yes, doing thatbetter than anybody in the
nation, and I'll take the Pepsichallenge all day long because
my, my objective is safer kids,right, but this has already been
created with tax dollars.
(30:03):
Very effective to make peoplebetter with less time and money.
Right, we need to get on thatreally quick.
Simultaneously.
How do you make stronger men?
When I say men, women areinvited, but it's been my
calling to pursue the hearts ofmen, right?
So I say I'm going, you'reinvited, and I'm going to take
my son out on a motorcycle intothose mountains for four days,
and you're invited, and thenfive other families come and we
(30:24):
get to model strength and I havea covenant agreement that is
written out and it sayssomething like this um, politics
and religion, we can talk aboutthem, but you're going to be
respectful, right?
Alcohol, check your alcohol.
My kid won't see you drunk andneither will I even.
They're not here and it's anadult thing.
I don't.
That's not what this is foryour language.
Just choose, choose adult words, no-transcript Right.
(30:58):
And then people come and it'sunbelievable.
You know, we have these eventswith the just adult.
Events might be nine days.
They're called BDRs backcountrydiscovery routes.
Our last one was insane.
I mean broken collarbone.
Eight of the 10 motorcyclesdidn't couldn't drive home.
We're stuck in Utah.
We had to hire a recovery teamto go get two motorcycles out of
the desert because truckswouldn't make it back there.
(31:20):
And, uh, and and.
To sum it up in a word awesome,awesome.
It was cause why we needed eachother, right.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
We, we literally knit , not like hey, like hey, I got
your back.
Take care of one another's ourmotto at work.
Take care of one another.
No, really, hike in and comeget me because my collarbone's
broken.
Then hike back into the desertyour motorcycle gear and ride my
motorcycle three hours to getit to a trailer.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I got you brother and you're smiling about it.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I didn't plan on doing this all night, but I
guess we're here and it makesyou, hey, this is, this is real.
You know.
It's like we got sucked out ofour little plastic bubble and
castle rock.
That was safe.
And we're in the middle of my,my, uh, my nephew, 18, and my
brother are stuck in Moab in thedesert in the middle of the
night and I'm like, all right,I'm going in.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
So we hired a dude with this crazy rock crawler
Jeep and a trailer and I'm likecan I come with you?
He's like let's go.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
So that's what we do all night is.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Just go get those guys out of there.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
How fun.
So your community.
Just like you said, I'm going,you're invited, that's right.
Right Like, if you, if you wantto come along on this adventure
, you're welcome.
Yeah, we, you agree with it.
You abide by it or you stayhome.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
That's right.
The language is gone, by theway, it's like you know, and
that's just a pet peeve of mineand, like I said, I'm not
anybody's dad other than my kids.
I'm not saying you can't curse,I'm just saying you can't do it
.
I pay the rent here and I doget to say what happens inside.
You go out in the street andcuss to yourself if you want our
(32:52):
50s.
Um, my mom loves you and I'mlike I've never met your mom.
I know, but you got me to stopcursing and I'm like I didn't do
anything.
Brother, you know, I just saidyou can't do it here, that's
right because I know.
But then it checked me and Ireally thought about it.
I caught lost opportunity cost.
You'll never know why you'venever been invited to my home or
why you've never met my kids.
That's to tell you right.
I'm like, well, I just can'thave them hear that kind of
stuff.
I wouldn't do it on your kids,so you'd do it here, but not
from my kids.
I would call that double-minded.
I don't even know what I'mtalking to right now.
(33:13):
It's kind of cowardly.
And they go yes, it is, andthen they tighten up.
I get it, you throw a round orhit your thumb or something we
all and we show grace at thatpoint.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
but that's not where we want to be specific, we want
to be able to communicate amessage to somebody in a clear
way, and when you muddle it upwith curse words and you know,
the level of respect comes downfor you, I think, and then it's
(33:42):
just kind of like wait, what'sgoing on here?
What are you really trying tosay?
Because there's a lot ofemotion involved in something
that maybe doesn't need all that.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
When it's disrespectful.
Why do I have to have aconversation on the way home
with my kids about your language?
Cause that's what's going tohappen.
Hey dad, why was so-and-sousing someone I'm like?
And now we got to go down thatroad, yeah, and in my mind I'm
like we're probably not comingback, you know, cause my job to
present a good, healthy optionto them, right?
(34:11):
So it's like you know, andthat's cool.
I've actually probably betterfor it, and I've had other
people saying you know, um, Iappreciate that, you know, and
okay, that's like, I'm not mything.
Man, I'm not here judging yourlife and condemning you to hell.
I'm just saying, if this isgoing to be the atmosphere,
we're going to find somethingbetter to do.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, I love it.
We need strict boundaries andcalling people to higher
standards.
That's really what the youthtoday and even adults I mean we
crave.
We want to be called to thehighest level possible, right,
Because we slip and we get lazyand and then to be around
somebody that's like, oh, no,not here, it's kind of like oh,
(34:47):
but then it's like, oh, thisfeels good it shouldn't be
shameful, it should be like I aminviting you into excellence
and when you do that, you'relike this, feels better.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
You know, like even down it, you've walked in the
street and you've heard somebodycussing.
If I stopped you right there,your whole family said what do
you think about that?
Like I wish that wouldn'thappen.
You know, and then and all of asudden, you start like
separating from people.
And other times, you know, Itell this to my kids.
Sometimes I will separate fromthat, sometimes I will endure.
You know that if it's, if it'sfor somebody else and it's a
good friend of mine and they'regoing through it, and I'll tell
(35:16):
them.
I'll tell them I appreciate it,but sometimes I do endure it to
pursue that person.
But I'm not going to ask mykids to do that.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
They're just not equipped for it.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Right so and my kids.
What's beautiful is seeing thishappen this week is, um, my, my
girls.
They're just beautiful, Liketheir mom.
I just praise the Lord.
And some kid was saying hey,can you not talk like that?
If you're going to talk likethat, go over there.
And they do.
And they're like, hey, can Icome play with you again?
Well, just talk, right.
And they're like, okay, sothey're doing it.
They're like just kind of, andagain, not in charge of you.
(35:43):
But man, I'm trying to enjoy agame and I'm like what's up with
this kid?
He's like this tall, he'stelling older kids like, hey,
man, cool, there's ladies aroundhere and I don't care to hear
that, and it's, and they could,they could just keep on going.
But okay, now I have to leave.
(36:04):
I was wanting to hang out withyou guys.
It was cooler when he was here,Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I think it's just honest and you're conditioning
your kids to stand up for what'sright and saying like this can
be done in love, guys.
You don't have to.
You know, get in someone's faceand ask them to stop being who
they are right now.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
You know.
But you can just say hey, youmind, you know trashing that
language, or you know you mightdoing that somewhere else.
Yeah, and I just don't see thatwith kids.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
We're at the park and I'll do the same thing.
I'll ask kids hey man, can youplease not ride your bicycle
down the slide?
I mean, my kids are on bikes,so it's dangerous.
You're an example to them.
Sometimes they get upset orwhatever and I'll just say, hey,
why don't you guys go just ridesomewhere else?
And sometimes they'll give youa little flack or whatever.
But I think it's important, asparents too, to to take a
(36:55):
courageous stand and be bold anddo it with love you know, I'm
inviting you to do this.
I'm not telling you you have to.
I'm not going to tell you whatI'm going to do to you if you
don't, but here's another option, and here's how your behavior
is affecting the kids aroundhere.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Just standing up to protect our kids and our kids
see that.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
And I've done this before with with grown men, but
then with kids as well.
You got to read the room rightand then use tactics that are
appropriate for that.
But I've I've said hey guys,I'm trying to raise some ladies
over here.
Can you help me out?
Like the I don't care that hearthat language.
And they're like oh sorry,brother, you know, like that
kind of thing, but you're justsecundus optio, it's.
It's a Latin for second option,because I was taught as a young
(37:38):
man to just not not set down Idon't think we need a class on
this, but was modeled for me waspretend you didn't see it, like
even something.
Like you see somebody getassaulted or whatever.
Just pretend you didn't see it.
And then I'm going to feel likea coward later for not saying
something or just go over thereand clock the guy right.
I've seen both of thosethroughout my life but nobody
taught me the middle part, thatsecond option, right, like how
do you use intellect to say like, hey guys, and come over and
(37:59):
just take all the steam out ofthe room and just be that model
of in strength, not weakness?
I see a lot of people I turnthe other cheek.
I'm like you don't really knowhow to do anything else, right,
you're just gonna.
But they try to sell it asstrength and I'm like no, I
don't think you're capable of.
The other thing is why you didthat right.
So I think to be like meekwould be the definition of meek
would be I could do X, but Ichoose not to.
(38:20):
I could come punch you out, butI'm not going to, because
that's not the objective here.
The objective is to let youknow that's not okay to act like
that.
And you can, but now I have toleave.
Like all those are, you know, awoman caught in adultery
walking into what is a verydangerous life and death
situation.
Back then, stoning to death.
Was that?
There's this energy that goeson with mobs, right?
(38:41):
If?
you've seen this, it's just thisall of a sudden, weak men feel
strong and they just start andit's very, very dangerous.
We're trained to look and seethis and avoid it and all that
stuff in a protective capacity.
But when you see that, to walkinto that and get involved put
you, put you a target on yourback as well.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I bet.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Then to say like, okay, do I pretend I didn't see
it, or do I call it on a Legionto wipe you out, or do I use my
intellect to write in the sandand say something true?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Send, cast the first stone.
Everybody goes home.
Wow, you just modeled how todeescalate this entire thing.
And everybody goes home better.
Yes, including this woman.
Okay, go listen to more.
We're good here.
That's right, that is a big,big lesson that we never get
taught.
I never got taught and then Italked to 50, 60 year old man
and they go can you teach me howto do that?
I'm like what, how to talk toother men.
(39:37):
I'm like figured out togetherand we are.
Yes, we are.
You have so much awesome stuffgoing on.
This is I get to do this.
This is amazing.
It's a blessing right, becauseit's like it's all connected.
It's not like 20 segments ofsporadic stuff a leads to b
leads to c and I'm going towardshealthy me.
I'm working on jimmy graham andyou're invited and let's learn
this stuff together.
And you know, one of myspiritual leaders is my pastor
and these buddies, and I getthis community to kind of say I
tell them jokingly, you, youknow, one of my spiritual
leaders is my pastor and thesebuddies, and I get this
community to kind of say I tellthem jokingly you guys, you know
(39:58):
, you're all guinea pigs.
We're just trying to figure thisout, but we get to shoot guns
and four wheel drives andmotorcycles and take care of one
another along the way, and itseems to be very attractive for
people and it's growing and it'shealthy and it's good.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Awesome.
Well, how, how do people findyou if they want to kind of join
the tribe, the Able Shepherdtribe?
I mean, how would somebody findyou?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
So I tell people, if you want to learn about the
program, you know the trainingprogram.
It's ableshepherdcom Able as in, capable shepherd, as in to
shepherd, right.
So A-B-L-E-S-H-E-P-H-E-R-Dcom.
But I say, if you want to seethe heart of the organization,
(40:40):
you got to go to the YouTubechannel, because we are, in
particular, the one I'm probablythe most proud of at this point
is the four day adventure withthe kids was all I mean.
It was emotional, it was amazing, it was such a cool thing of
let's go model strength forthese little ones, because there
are a future and many familiesand just things where, like, a
kid falls and it doesn't have tobe his parent that picks him up
, somebody's going to pick himup and they know it.
Or girls too.
You know one young lady namedReagan.
She's a sweetheart and she waslike, when they interviewed her
(41:01):
after she said I just know whenI fall, there'll always be
somebody to pick me up, andwe're like it's just amazing,
right.
And again, if you challengethem and require more of our
young people to show up, like,invite them to excellence, that
will show up every time, butwe're not.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yes, well, and you're inspiring me because, as being
the leader of this organizationof families of character, I
think you know, especially a newleader here.
Sometimes we get put in a boxright or put ourselves in a box
where we're like, okay, we'redoing this one thing with our
community and you're, what Ihear you saying is like, hey, if
people are interested in it, itseems like it would serve our
community.
(41:37):
And it may be a wild idea tojump on these motorcycles and go
out into the mountains and like, yeah, there's a lot of risks,
right, and liability waivers andall these things, but you're
like let's just, let's put ittogether and let's make it
happen.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And people love it.
That's what we love.
We love wild ideas with a hintof danger and all this other
stuff and commitment and defendit on the calendar and all that
kind of stuff.
People love it.
Or even how many people wouldcome alive to defend a school?
You know what I mean.
We've talked about that, youknow, and I'm talking to more
and more people about.
We've got an idea on how do youbuild future schools.
What if the building itselfsaid to get to them, you've got
(42:10):
to go through me, thatprotective principle, right,
it's hard to go through concreteand brick and all that stuff.
Make it beautiful, make itamazing, make it a community
event where my business, theback of my business, actually
protects your kids at play Right, that's, that's something
that's doable.
I presented that on.
It was on C-SPAN for theWestern Conservatives Summit a
couple of years ago, you know,and people really scratching
their heads and we're pursuingthat.
It's just it going on, jimmy,just please don't hesitate to
(42:31):
reach out.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I mean there's a lot of crossover with parents, you
know in our community, andfamilies, and then just needing
good, solid ideas and plans andtraining for how to protect
ourselves and our families athome and in the community.
I mean, it's just endless.
So you've got a big umadventure ahead of you and I
(43:00):
know it takes a lot of supportand it takes money and it takes
people and employees andvolunteers and everything.
So if there's any way we cankind of cross our audiences and
our communities and help supportwhat you're doing, or, um, get
the word out.
If you have some awesomeopportunity opportunity like you
just did with with thismountain adventure coming our
(43:21):
way, let us know, Cause we'd behappy to sign up and get people
out there and take you up onthat.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I think it is that, that unifying thing.
The line should be our kids.
This should be something thatgets us United and says, hey,
we're going to, we're going todraw a line in the sand and that
lines our kids.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Absolutely so enjoyed our conversations.
Thank you for coming out today.
Guys, check out Able Shepherd,please trust me.
I've done this program with myhusband, my three kids.
The emergency family readinessprogram was amazing.
We're signing up for theProtect Our People class and
going to be participating inthat.
(43:57):
So there's so many ways that youcan protect your family and
plan ahead for these things.
But sometimes you just don'tknow where to start.
And if you're a young father ormother and you're going, but I
just don't know if my plan wouldbe legit, just take a course,
you know, take it from someonewho's been there, done that,
wrote the program and go fromthere.
(44:19):
So we will.
We also in our own community,at Families of Character, have a
couples coaching series thathas launched.
So make sure that you go tofamiliesofcharactercom.
Parenting is hard, marriage isdifficult at times, and so we
wanna help you reconnect withyour spouse and make sure that
you have some clarity over thechaos of the family calendar so
(44:44):
that you can bring some peaceand unity back into your home.
So check outfamiliesofcharactercom for that.
Thank you again, jimmy, and wewill see you on another episode
of the Families of Charactershow.
Welcome back parents.
You know, one of the things I'mreally passionate about as a
parent is personal protectionand planning as a family.
There are so many unpredictablethings that happen in our
neighborhoods, schools, at aconcert or even at a park, when
(00:20):
you're just having a simplepicnic with your family on a
Sunday, and so I think it'svital that we have a plan as a
family on how to protectourselves if we're in a
situation where there's violenceand we need to get away.
It's not enough just for us asparents to know the plan before
our kids to be in the dark.
(00:41):
So a few years ago, josh and Iand our kids decided to
participate in a program it's afamily emergency readiness
program that we found throughthe Able Shepherd program here
in Denver, and we were soimpressed by the way that they
were able to walk us throughdifferent exercises and
(01:03):
reality-based scenarios likereal scenarios you'd be in as a
family and do that with our kidswith us in such a beautiful way
.
That really helped unite us andhelped us to come up with a
plan for how to escape asituation that could be
potentially violent, and so thatprogram was put on by our guest
(01:27):
for today's show, jimmy Graham.
So welcome to the show, jimmy.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, guys, jimmy's a veteran US Navy SEAL.
He's also a former CIAprotective officer and a fellow
on community safety at theCentennial Institute and a
fellow on community safety atthe Centennial Institute.
He's a nationally recognizedexpert on community safety and
readiness, with an emphasis onshootings and violent encounters
.
And, jimmy, you are also afamily man.
(01:56):
Yeah, tell us a little bitabout your family.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
That bio.
You need to send the bios inand I make sure that when I send
them in that's the highlight ofthat is also a you know, a
loving father and a very proudhusband.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You know an amazing wife that has focused on four
amazing children with me and Ijust love it.
I love being a dad.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Wow, wow.
Well, ok, before you go intoall the family stuff, because
we're going there, this is afamily show, we want to know all
about it.
But tell us a little bit aboutyour experience as a Navy SEAL
and how that kind of led to yourpassion for protection here in
our community and starting thisorganization.
Able Shepherd.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, I was kind of a handful as a young man.
You know, the high school yearslater, high school in
particular, and just had a lotof energy.
You know the high school yearslater, high school in particular
, and uh, just had a lot ofenergy.
And I've learned since that ifthat energy isn't you know,
isn't intentionally putsomewhere, it'll default to
somewhere bad and it wasstarting right.
So I needed a challenge, Ineeded to grow up, I needed some
structure.
So I found a challenge, a bigone, you know, and that was the
(02:59):
U S Navy SEAL teams came in alittle bit later than some of
the guys, at about 21 years old,and I tell people, I grew up, I
grew up in the SEAL teams, youknow, just getting that
structure and a paycheck and avision.
I was very blessed to make itthrough BUDS, which is basic
underwater demolition, SEALtraining, in one go, you know,
not quitting, not getting hurt.
A lot of good men get hurt andthen that's why they can't make
(03:22):
it and we're just very fortunateto not have that happen.
Uh, it's buds class two, oh,eight back in 1996.
Wow and uh, it's kind of a.
It's a pay in advance.
You know, organization If youpay and make it through buds and
then you're the right cut forthat um institution.
They, they take care of oneanother, they take care of each
other.
That's good Goodness.
(03:48):
So that was what?
15, how many years ago?
Oh, I don't know.
1996 is when I showed up at uh,at buds.
Uh went in on halloween into thenavy in 1995 and uh, yeah, I
did I did a little over eightyears at seal, team eight, and
deployed, um, you know, threetimes.
It's a two-year cycle to whereyou would back then it was,
you'd work up for a year and ahalf with the same guys and
deploy for six months and thencome back and do it over, and
then do it over and become quitegood at what sales are known
(04:08):
for.
So it was.
It was.
It was amazing.
It was an amazing experience.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
While you were in the seals.
Were you married?
Did you have children at thattime?
I did not.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Okay.
So, um, the seal teamdeployments.
I stayed reserves after my, youknow, eight plus years active
duty.
I stayed active reserves whichthey would call you back in,
send you down to South America.
I had not worked South America,so that was kind of cool to see
that Wow and uh and go downthere and train folks down there
and kind of watch the we saywatch the back door, you know,
train people to watch theSouthern door, which I guess
isn't a thing anymore, butanyways, we used to watch that
(04:38):
pretty closely, our country, andit was a great experience there
.
I was recruited by the CIA tobe a bodyguard trainer and then
also do the job as a bodyguardGRS global response staff, and
that's when I re-met my wife.
We dated for like five minutesbefore I went off to the Navy
and then re-met as adults andfell in love and started a
(04:59):
family.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
That is awesome.
So it was during your time as aprotective officer that you
reconnected with her Correct.
Then you moved on from thatposition we stayed there for a
while.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I moved to uh.
The family moved to montana.
That was just dream chasing andI've just been called to
montana so many times and I loveit.
I don't think montana's donewith me, but uh somehow
convinced her to do adestination wedding uh, north of
Yellowstone, a little tiny towncalled Prey Montana.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Chico.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Hot Springs is what it's called, kind of rustic,
beautiful little ranch, andthat's where we got married and
then convinced her to move toMontana, to Helena Montana, for
just shy I think of four years.
And then family brought us toCastle Rock, Colorado.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Okay, so her family was here, or yours?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Her sister, my sister-in-law and their family,
and she wanted to raise thefamilies together.
And she said that one day.
So I just put it on a calendarsaying on this day we're moving.
She said well, what if we don'tsell the house?
On this day we're moving.
And the Lord worked it out andwe got in a moving truck that
day and moved.
Unfortunately, we lost hersister to cancer.
Several years ago, and then herfamily moved down to Arizona to
(06:05):
get her treatment and ended upstaying there.
So that was kind of the reasonwe moved here.
It's not here anymore, but it'sa good fit for us here, Rocky
Mountains are just my style.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So, yeah, totally digging it, and what a special
thing, you know, looking back, Isuppose, after losing her to be
here for a period of time withher before that happened, not
knowing that that might've beenin her future.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yeah, I'm working on a um a book.
I've been working on it for alittle bit and one of the
chapters or sub chapters iscalled unfinished basements.
Like we moved into theirunfinished basement while we put
all our stuff in storage so wecould just find our feet and get
a house and do all that Um, andthen we're blessed with a
couple of years with that familyand then when she got sick,
they moved into our unfinishedbasement and it was just.
(06:48):
It was just special, it was agift and we didn't know it yet.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh, wow, and just just being led, allowing
yourself to be led by the spirit, or just moved by what?
Okay, when do you move toColorado?
Let's do it on this day.
And and then just followingeach other and saying, yes, as a
couple, okay, let's do this,and then wow.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, and being led that you know she just amazing,
that she supported my crazydreams forever.
And then you know, fellows,when you hear your wife say
truly like I want this listen.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yes, and then take action Right.
Wow, that's awesome.
So then you started having kidshere.
You've raised them here inColorado.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
We had a little girl in Virginia.
Okay, then we moved to Montanaand we had another little girl,
and then we moved here and thenhad a little boy and then,
surprise, another little girl.
And they're just, they'reawesome.
Three girls and a boy, yeah,Wow, and now the oldest is 15.
So driving permit and all that.
But reinforcements just showedup, right?
(07:48):
And we got a 13 year old.
So now it's like they justthey're very good at, you know,
at, at, at raising the boy.
I tell him, hey, I'm raising aman, and they're helping, like
I'll look over and say I'mleaving, hey, you're the man of
the house.
And he's like, yes, sir.
And I look over to Rebecca andshe goes.
I got him, Like you know, sheknows who's in charge, but she's
going to let him feel Totally.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
It's so good, that's so good.
I feel like we need more ofthat, you know, in our families
is just allowing kind of thosenext level responsibilities and
trusting them in that right.
You train them and then youtrust them to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Right, right, and then could they replicate it.
You know, just talking aboutthe training thing, there's one
thing to check a box, there'sanother thing to have.
You know, can they replicate itwithout you there?
Yes, right.
And then my daughter's justjust amazing discernment.
And she, there's no doubt in mymind, like when she was a
little kid, she was that onewhere the teachers would say
like, hey, if there's some kindof emergency or something, I'm
like, I believe you Cause, likeit's borderline bossy, right,
(08:44):
like.
But when you need somebody totake charge, she's the one.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And all the kids aren't like that and they
haven't grown into that yet, butshe is, and usually there's a
kid in that class and it honorsthem to give them that kind of
responsibility.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Absolutely.
I love the word honor, becauseit's true, you know, and they
get such pride about themselveswhen they're able to take care
of a situation, especially youngmen, and it's just something
that we have to nurture in them,you know, so they'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
There was another young man that was a good buddy
of mine, his son, and we kind ofpulled him out of class and
said hey, uh, you know, withpermission out of the school,
all that stuff.
And they were um, you know, if,if we need to get kids to
safety and the parent and theteachers can't do it, we need
you.
And we took him for a walk andsaid this is the reunification
point, this is how you go, thisis plan A, down the street, but
if there's a threat, don't godown the street, because if
there's a vehicle involved itcould be a weapon.
(09:30):
Go this way.
And it did.
It lifted him up and said canwe count on you for that?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And he's like, yes, sir your kids go, so you have
participated with that schooland preparing them in case of an
active shooter situation.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, absolutely Every.
Every school they've been to,and that was a previous
Christian school.
Right now they're at a charterschool.
Same thing we're in there andwe, we do.
Um, you know, it's funny thatthe students actually
coordinated this for two yearsin a row where they asked if I
would come in for PE and do aself-defense type class and
they're laughing and it's funand I'm throwing dodgeballs and
they're learning how to blockthem and you know, in case
somebody took a swipe at theirface, you know like punching,
but you just teach them afoundational thing where they're
(10:10):
all kind of laughing, breakinga sweat and doing some physical
activity and they love it.
You know it's like it's alltraining.
Does it have to be regimentedLike major pain?
You know, like this militarykind of thing.
It's like, hey, you know, mykids have been training since
they were, you know, hip high.
Um, and it's been fun.
It's been a little through formof exercise and all that kind
of stuff.
Um, and like we do a thingcalled link to me that you know
about.
You know it's like you link tome and they'll touch me pockets,
(10:32):
belt, elbow, whatever, andwe've been doing it since they
were little, crossing parkinglots and we have like, okay,
yeah, that has to be built.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
That's right.
So your kids all know exactlywhat to do when you say a
certain command or yes.
Yes, they're, they're movingand they, they move in a certain
direction.
They, they know who to link toin the line and and which way to
.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yeah, within seconds, it would.
They would.
They would be physicallytouching myself or Rachel to buy
us a second to put a plantogether.
We'd be moving as a family, notjust like you look up and
everybody spreads to the fourwinds.
Not going to happen, why?
Cause we trained them Otherwise.
We had a conversation.
We've been doing things in aparking lot.
Now the parking lots are thereand get hit by a car, but what
they're really learning is athing called linking.
That we taught CIA personnel,like if you get scared and
(11:25):
something blows up or somebodyshoots or whatever, get behind
me and touch my shouldersbecause I need to be messing
with my gun or whatever.
Right, I need both hands.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I tell people you know, jokingly that Whitney
Houston, kevin Costner bodyguardmovie where you're like
carrying a woman and fighting adude, that's not a thing, right?
You need your hand, so you'regoing to need to have your hands
accessible and be a hundredpercent.
But you are accountable.
So if I look over and they'rethey're they're linked onto
Rachel and she's moving them tosafety, I'm going to be on the
line between what we callpackage and the greatest threat.
(11:53):
So there's the threat.
There's my family.
I'm standing between them untilwe figure out that next plan.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yes, that's what I loved about that, that family
emergency readiness program.
I mean.
I remember we were all in thisroom and it was kind of this,
you know, simulation.
It felt really real.
You know, like, hey, you'resitting at the table at Chili's
and someone walks through thedoor and decides this is going
to go down, right, what do youdo?
(12:18):
And you trained us exactly howto link onto Josh, you know, or
me, if he's, if he's making aplan to, to help, to help
protect us or anyone else inthat situation.
And then we go through the otherrooms as if we're exiting the
restaurant, you know, to get tothe back door or whatever, and
people are coming at us andwe're, like, you know, fighting
them and the kids.
(12:38):
You would think that that wouldfrighten children right to be
put in a situation like that,children right To to be put in a
situation like that.
But the way you and your staffwere just so gentle with us and
use language that wasunderstandable to our kids I
think our youngest was um, sevenat the time and a girl and um,
they just they just didn't haveany anxiety about it.
(12:59):
As a matter of fact, I thinkthey felt so much better
afterwards because it was like,wow, we have a formulated plan,
we know what to do, and so wehave what we call a family
huddle every Sunday at our house, and so it's usually about an
hour long now Started out beingmaybe 10 minutes where we'd go
over the calendar and just kindof get everybody communicating
(13:22):
about the happenings of thefamily and making sure that
we're talking about anythingthat's coming up, so that we can
be, you know, aware and planfor this.
Well, after that program, westarted practicing our link on
in that and, to be random, joshwould just be like link on and
then jump out of our chairs andyou know, and out the front door
(13:42):
.
And so another thing that weexperienced in that program was
what I don't remember it wasn'tlive, but it must have been a
video that you showed of agentleman that was that had
videotaped himself, um, with hischildren in their beds, right,
and they were all practicing afire drill, oh that was me, oh,
that was you.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Oh, that was your family.
Yeah, they were so little, thatwas so awesome, and so you was
your family.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, they were so little, that was so awesome and
so you were explaining in thevideo.
Yeah, like everybody's in theirbeds now and you can see them
in their beds.
They had the blindfolds on.
Yes, they had blindfolds on.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Mom was out of town.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It was awesome so cool, and so the whole idea was
you know, if there's a fire atyour house or something happens
like, how are you going to getyourselves out?
I mean, this is something thatif your children go to school
they learn how to do from theirclassroom.
They practice it once or twicea year.
But how many families honestlyhave a full fire escape plan in
(14:38):
their homes and havecommunicated with neighbors down
the street that, hey, can wecome there if, If you know if
our house is on fire, there's athreat?
I was thinking we didn't evenhave one at that time, so we
practiced it, and so when youcame into the studio today, my
husband and I were joking abouthow there's marks all over our
screens here because, we, we, wedropped down after your, your
(15:04):
class.
We got the extendable laddersthat you can throw out the
window.
We got tourniquets, you know,put them in our cars.
We got all prepared andcontinue to practice.
You know how do we do this as afamily.
It's just, I don't know whatare kind of the statistics Do
you know of, like, on average,how many families have a plan in
(15:26):
place to escape their home?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I don't know other than most don't, right?
I don't know a statistic as faras a number.
I just know that once thathappens, it's it's, it's it's
test time, right, it's test day.
And what happens next?
There's been preparation for it.
So, example I go on a daddydaughter um camp out with my
girls this year, right, and itwas super cool, and it was, it
was um, all these families.
And we're standing there inshallow water Uh, the girls are
(15:49):
in a little little deeper spotand I see one of the dads dive
in like dives in.
As soon as, I mean as soon as Isee his feet come up, alarms
start going off in my head.
He stands up and he doveheadfirst into a rock and he's
gushing blood Right.
And I'm like, um, I'm like, hey,come to me right now, walk to
me.
And I'm like I go into, likemilitary, military, like walk to
(16:09):
me now, cause he's about tofall over.
It looks like he got clubbed.
Uh, you know, his eyes are justnot right.
I'm like he can walk to me.
He starts walking over there.
It's real cold water.
I'm okay, I'm like you're notokay, walk to me.
But he's wet.
He puts his hand up, feels it,and let he just pour.
(16:34):
Be there, right, yes.
And uh, another dad brings it,throws it to my daughter who's
13.
And now it's kind of cool,Cause she's sitting there like
dispensing what I need, and nowit's pressure.
I just run over and grab thedude's head and put direct
pressure on it and then we getsome stuff and then I you know I
dress it wrap his head.
Now we're off to the emergencyroom because we're really gonna
you might have messed up yourspine all this stuff and he's
got a good three gouges onethat's just nasty and then head
(16:57):
rolled forward and two more.
And I hear something from thegirls that are like everybody's
just kind of frozen yes mouthsare open, eyes are big and I
hear and this is just such acompliment, you know that as dad
, sometimes just it's just gold.
I hear my 15 year old.
They're like what, why did hedo that?
What's what happens?
Like it's everything, and shegoes it's okay, my dad's got it.
And I'm like oh, because I'mlike I'm kind of like, oh, this
(17:17):
is serious, yes, hope his neckand I'm just kind of in that
mode and one daughter's sittingthere dispensing medical
equipment to me and the otherone's like my dad's here, we're
good guys and I'm like I don'tknow if we are cause it's next
to me or whatever, but it wasjust, it was just awesome to
hear you know that they feelsafe and they're like hey, my
dad's here.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
They trust that you've got this situation.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
There's even stuff in our truck.
And why Cause of right now?
We didn't plan on this.
We're just hanging out at theCreek river and now there's a
guy gushing out.
Get in my truck right now, weteverything, go to the emergency
room.
You know, guys got this.
Watch my kids.
I'll take care of my kids andI'm off to the emergency room.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
From the mountains, right.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
So we've got to go find a hospital.
Yes, and why?
Because he needs it.
People are like was?
That military training.
I'm like that guy needs a helptraining Like it's our job to
responsibility, to take care ofone another.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yes, I've heard you say that so many different times
in interviews and that you'reall about protecting people in
general.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, and I, that was something that I learned about
me.
That kind of surprised me.
I know this sounds weird, as Iactually care about people.
I don't know.
You know, and you're like, well, who doesn't?
I'm like a lot of peopleactually don't.
Like last night I'm leavingchurch we just first Tuesday's
thing at brave church and I'mrolling out and uh, um, a guy's
just sitting there in a verydangerous spot on Hamden, going
(18:38):
East right up the hill from ourchurch, and he's just I don't
know what's going on.
So I circled back to find outand his car stopped and, um, I
said, let's get you out of theroad.
So I put my truck in a muchbigger truck with lights and all
that kind of stuff.
Um, you know, flashers push himout of the road.
You know, mexican fellow thatdidn't speak a lot, I speak some
Spanish but there's a younglady there and I was like, oh,
I'm gonna go get him gas.
He gave me like 15 bucks andthey go.
So get him off the road, pullup there.
She pulls in 7-11.
(18:58):
I go, ma'am, you know, I pullhim behind.
I'm like, do you mind if Ihandle this, is it?
You know, young lady probablyshouldn't be hanging out middle
of the night, you're doing allthis stuff by yourself, and I
was like I can, I can do this.
And she's like, oh, appreciateit, get him gas, come back out
and buy a tank, do all thisstuff and bring it back and help
him out.
Um, and it was a much bigger.
It wasn't gas, it was asignificant problem with his car
.
So he's calling his dad and allthis other stuff.
(19:26):
But you know, you're good, I'mgood, whatever, but I, the
number of guy, I just know he'sin a spot, I'll get you a can
and some gas and you're needsome more gas, by the way.
So take your money back and allthat kind of stuff.
But you know, uh, that thatused to be the thing.
If you ever go to like Canada Idid a motorcycle ride, 12,000
mile motorcycle ride to honor afallen seal buddy If you get up
into the big country, likeAlaska and Canada, everybody
(19:48):
stops why?
Cause there's nobody elsecoming.
So they just they kind of theydepend on each other, cause if I
broke down I would need you bad.
So you're broken down, so I gotyou and it's just a felt thing
and we'd pull over for somethingno-transcript.
(20:11):
So our motorcycle group carriedthe litter back up to the road
for the volunteer firemanbecause they needed help.
Couldn't do it, wow.
So it's like that's, that's anold.
We say this isn't a new thing,it's a very old thing.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
It is, we get back to .
Speaker 2 (20:24):
We've just been very comfortable, which is which is
the goal.
We should be in this lap ofluxury.
We are.
You and I are ultra rich whenyou talk about globally you know
, and we got comfortable andsaid nah, somebody else's job,
it's like no, it's never been.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
That's right and and I'm a firm believer we were not
created for comfort.
That's right.
We grow and we are our best.
And we go to the next levelwhen we are in a place of
discomfort right, where we haveto put our own passions and
desires and our own, you know,comforts aside.
Like man, you could have beenhome in bed right, or having a
beer on the patio or somethingafter after your church night,
(20:59):
and he went, this little, stillsmall voice just said you know,
jimmy, you better just circleback.
And he just tuned into that andjust participated in the moment
.
We're a hundred percent there.
And then, when that was over,then you went on your way.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We caught.
You know, to me, shepherding mybusiness, able shepherd that
word shepherd means a lot.
It means teacher, leader andprotector, right?
And how do you shepherd?
I'm going, you're invited, Ican't make you do anything, I'm
just going to go do this thing.
Everybody assumes everybodywould expect or hope that
somebody would protect, uh,would stop and help their wife
and children on the side of theroad.
Then why aren't you doing it?
Like, where's that person goingto come from, right?
(21:33):
So you got to model it andwatch these little people go.
That's, that's the right thingto do, you know?
Or there won't be any, andthat's not just side of the road
stuff.
That's, that's life.
You know, it's like that.
The guysve of mine Put theshopping cart back in the crib.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I'm busy Like let the kid make a minimum wage, do
that in the rain.
It's like no, you borrowed thatconvenience.
They provided for you.
Return it.
And then, it makes it a littlebit easier for the next guy, and
that concept instilled in ayoung person is the difference.
It's the difference, right.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Absolutely, and it's the small things like that,
right.
We are kind of the decisionsthat we make in the small
moments, yeah, and so it's soimportant.
I love to hear that you'retraining your kids in this way,
you're modeling for them thisbehavior, that, yes, if it takes
an extra minute, do it.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah, it's the right thing and it's small.
People are like, hey, what's abig, significant thing we do?
It's a million small things.
Right it's.
I've got a.
I did a podcast called Grahamfamily sayings, cause I've got
them and it's good it's.
I'm writing about this and I'lltell my kids, like simple
things like, um, graham's, don'tlie, cheat or steal.
And they say, or litter Causethey know I hate litter, right,
or litter.
Or I'll say stay safe.
And they repeat back staydangerous.
(22:42):
Or just, you know there's,there's hundreds of them, and
they just they.
They hear them all the time.
And you know he's like, oh,this kid did that.
And I'm like, um, I go.
I just did this again yesterday.
My son's talking about some kidthat did something.
I go well, are you in charge ofhim?
He goes no, who are you incharge of?
He says me.
I go, what are you going to do?
(23:04):
He says better.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
And we say that all the time it's like he can do on
what you can change right, whichis ourselves, and we can always
be growing to do better.
I love that Just just kind ofputting that back on your kids.
Now, when we spoke on the phonebefore this interview, you
mentioned that there wassomething really cool.
I thought it was really coolthat you do with your kids every
morning before you kind of allgo your own separate ways and I
(23:28):
wondered if you'd share thatwith us on this episode.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I don't even remember what it is.
Is it the car thing?
The?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
little huddle up where you guys or maybe that was
it the grand family sayings,where you say something to your
kids and then they echosomething back to you In the
truck.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
You mean yes, because we do a bunch of stuff.
I don't say I got to.
I get to take my kids to schoolright.
Monday, wednesday and Friday itis the baby, and then on
Tuesday and Thursdays it's theolder kids plus neighbor kids.
We carpool from Castle Rock toLone Tree but I get it's just a
fun thing where I get in and Igo, okay, sound off when you're
buckled, and you'll hearChristian buckled, you know
(24:04):
Cambria buckled, you knowRebecca buckled, sarah buckled,
sarah buckled.
And I go daddy buckled rolling,and now go wheels up and I
mashed the gas Right.
And it's funny, just from thatprotector world, even in the
military, that understand thatyou know we would check out of
GRS if your bodyguards andyou're heading out into Iraq or
Afghanistan or you know whatever, whatever.
Um, you would call in on theradio and you would say, hey,
we're rolling.
(24:24):
And then you know, wheels up,we'd let the other vehicles know
.
You know rails up.
We'd let the other vehiclesknow, hey, I'm leading out
rolling, that I'll fall behind,and somebody would call the base
, say, hey, we're rails up, andsomebody would write that time
on a board because they left atthis time and we're expecting
back on this time.
You can't lose track of guysthat are out in the field.
That's right so that's wherethat comes from and it's just a
fun thing that they absolutelyknow be kind to other people or
you know, just whatever model,courage, be kind, whatever, uh.
(24:56):
And they all kind of sign offand then I say I love you.
I have to all of them, even notmy kids.
I'd be like love you, becca,have a great day.
I love you, sarah, have a greatday.
They're like love you, dad.
I'll say no, come over, give mea kiss, and then they go, but
it's every just reminding themright every day.
And then at night, every night,we do a thing that we've since
called the promise and I tellthem.
(25:18):
You know they repeat after me Isaid I love you.
They said I'm proud of you,you're a good girl, I love being
your daddy what?
And then I pray and I say itevery single night because I
need to.
I get it.
We're going to.
They're going to grow upsomeday and I'm going to.
It's going to hurt, but I'mgoing to go from being the
authority to the influence.
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
And they're going to make good decisions and probably
bad decisions, and if there'sthat moment when they're sitting
there on a curb and they'vedone something stupid, or maybe
they drink too much or whatever,I needed to remember, no matter
what, no matter what calling mydad.
You know there's that image ofGod.
Is it?
I messed up?
My dad's going to kill me or Imessed up?
I need to call my dad and Ineed B to come to their mind.
(25:59):
I need to call my dad right now.
He loves me, he's got moreresources and he would be here
in a second.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Always forgiving.
That's right Right, alwaysloving, always forgiving.
That's exactly what I wasthinking of.
What you talked about, I meanthat evening routine, so
important, you know.
We talk about how there's likenine most important minutes of
the day in a child's day andit's the first three minutes
when they wake up in the morning.
(26:25):
It's the first three minuteswhen they see you, when you pick
them up from school, becausethey've been separated from you
for the longest period of timeeight hours or whatever and then
the last three minutes beforethey go to sleep at night.
And for you to be filling their, their minds and their hearts
with such a message like that isjust beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That's fantastic.
I haven't thought of it thatway.
That's good, yeah, nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Three, three and three, yeah, nine minutes Three,
three and three.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, I know, and in public speaking, you know, this
is a thing and that's prettymuch what I do now.
Part of what I do is they saypeople remember the first thing
and the last thing you say,right.
So you start strong, finishstrong, content the middle and
all that stuff, but the thingthat sticks and that that would
align with that.
So it's good.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yes, I mean who wants to go into school?
That's a and, just like wetalked about at the beginning of
the show you have no idea whatcould happen in the day.
So you making those connectionsand those bonds with your kids,
you know when you when youdepart from each other and then
you get back together.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
it's just vital, you know this you know it's popped
in my head take pictures Like Iwas not a picture guy, really in
the middle I've some.
But um, I've been that guyunfortunately too many times,
that scrounging through aRubbermaid container because you
got a phone call that you lostsomebody right For whatever
circumstances, because at thatmoment those photos become gold
you know, so, whether it beyoung people, older people
(27:44):
obviously there's older peoplein the program.
There's really good friends ofmine that, just just because of
time and the age, I can bearound forever, you know.
So, when you're together andyou do things, take pictures
cause you're going to bescrambling for them on that day,
uh, and documenting thosememories of that thing you did
you know, if you got it, youknow like this new facility
we're we're currently pursuing.
We're going to decorate the uh,the decor that's going to be
(28:04):
our community.
You know it's like, isn't thatyou with your son when he was
six?
Like it is.
What about that?
Like the black and whites andthis and that and the decor will
be our community.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I love that.
Well, speaking of yourcommunity, I imagine you have a
lot of followers and a lot ofcommunity members that are just
on board to do kind of whateverJimmy Graham and his posse are
doing right now.
So tell us what are some of thefun, exciting things that you
guys are doing are doing rightnow.
So tell us what are some of thefun, exciting things that you
guys are doing you mentionedsomething about, like off-road
(28:35):
vehicles in the mountains orsomething.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Oh yeah, it's so good , it's and this is something
that I didn't plan it just kindof it's.
It's like I think a lot ofveterans get out of the military
and they just look at what'savailable and they're like man,
I can't find a fit for me.
There's those spiritual giftsand callings, and I just
couldn't find a thing, and I'vetalked to other vets like me
neither.
So I just settled for X and Ireally I tell people I would not
have known to pray for thisLike there wasn't, um, that spot
(28:56):
, so I had to create it, meaningGod created a space and it's
exactly me, right?
So, um, the thing that I sayable shepherd is is there is a
very real threat that is that ishunting our kids, right, and
it's ultimately it's Satan, butin the form of people, because
it manifests as people that themost innocent form of Jesus
Christ is our children, bothborn and unborn, and they're
(29:16):
under attack, not in the shadowslike before, it's in the
daylight.
They're under attack and peopleare walking in to schools and
hurting them.
That needs to be addressedright now, like that needs to be
efficient and effective,efficient and effective and it
needs to be.
Somebody's coming in seconds,not minutes, seconds, right.
So we're very focused on themaking that more efficient On
(29:37):
that day.
I don't care about that, maybea child, about their history and
their dad and I don't care.
I don't care You're.
You're a threat, you're hurtingpeople.
It's got to stop.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
But I do care, like on this day I don't care, but
ultimately I do care.
So how did kids get that brokenwhere they're going to come in
and shoot at mine.
So we have to focus not on oneor the other, but both
simultaneously.
So we are, yes, doing thatbetter than anybody in the
nation, and I'll take the Pepsichallenge all day long because
my, my objective is safer kids,right, but this has already been
created with tax dollars.
(30:03):
Very effective to make peoplebetter with less time and money.
Right, we need to get on thatreally quick.
Simultaneously.
How do you make stronger men?
When I say men, women areinvited, but it's been my
calling to pursue the hearts ofmen, right?
So I say I'm going, you'reinvited, and I'm going to take
my son out on a motorcycle intothose mountains for four days,
and you're invited, and thenfive other families come and we
(30:24):
get to model strength and I havea covenant agreement that is
written out and it sayssomething like this um, politics
and religion, we can talk aboutthem, but you're going to be
respectful, right?
Alcohol, check your alcohol.
My kid won't see you drunk andneither will I even.
They're not here and it's anadult thing.
I don't.
That's not what this is foryour language.
Just choose, choose adult words, no-transcript Right.
(30:58):
And then people come and it'sunbelievable.
You know, we have these eventswith the just adult.
Events might be nine days.
They're called BDRs backcountrydiscovery routes.
Our last one was insane.
I mean broken collarbone.
Eight of the 10 motorcyclesdidn't couldn't drive home.
We're stuck in Utah.
We had to hire a recovery teamto go get two motorcycles out of
the desert because truckswouldn't make it back there.
(31:20):
And, uh, and and.
To sum it up in a word awesome,awesome.
It was cause why we needed eachother, right.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
We, we literally knit , not like hey, like hey, I got
your back.
Take care of one another's ourmotto at work.
Take care of one another.
No, really, hike in and comeget me because my collarbone's
broken.
Then hike back into the desertyour motorcycle gear and ride my
motorcycle three hours to getit to a trailer.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I got you brother and you're smiling about it.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I didn't plan on doing this all night, but I
guess we're here and it makesyou, hey, this is, this is real.
You know.
It's like we got sucked out ofour little plastic bubble and
castle rock.
That was safe.
And we're in the middle of my,my, uh, my nephew, 18, and my
brother are stuck in Moab in thedesert in the middle of the
night and I'm like, all right,I'm going in.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
So we hired a dude with this crazy rock crawler
Jeep and a trailer and I'm likecan I come with you?
He's like let's go.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
So that's what we do all night is.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Just go get those guys out of there.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
How fun.
So your community.
Just like you said, I'm going,you're invited, that's right.
Right Like, if you, if you wantto come along on this adventure
, you're welcome.
Yeah, we, you agree with it.
You abide by it or you stayhome.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
That's right.
The language is gone, by theway, it's like you know, and
that's just a pet peeve of mineand, like I said, I'm not
anybody's dad other than my kids.
I'm not saying you can't curse,I'm just saying you can't do it
.
I pay the rent here and I doget to say what happens inside.
You go out in the street andcuss to yourself if you want our
(32:52):
50s.
Um, my mom loves you and I'mlike I've never met your mom.
I know, but you got me to stopcursing and I'm like I didn't do
anything.
Brother, you know, I just saidyou can't do it here, that's
right because I know.
But then it checked me and Ireally thought about it.
I caught lost opportunity cost.
You'll never know why you'venever been invited to my home or
why you've never met my kids.
That's to tell you right.
I'm like, well, I just can'thave them hear that kind of
stuff.
I wouldn't do it on your kids,so you'd do it here, but not
from my kids.
I would call that double-minded.
I don't even know what I'mtalking to right now.
(33:13):
It's kind of cowardly.
And they go yes, it is, andthen they tighten up.
I get it, you throw a round orhit your thumb or something we
all and we show grace at thatpoint.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
but that's not where we want to be specific, we want
to be able to communicate amessage to somebody in a clear
way, and when you muddle it upwith curse words and you know,
the level of respect comes downfor you, I think, and then it's
(33:42):
just kind of like wait, what'sgoing on here?
What are you really trying tosay?
Because there's a lot ofemotion involved in something
that maybe doesn't need all that.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
When it's disrespectful.
Why do I have to have aconversation on the way home
with my kids about your language?
Cause that's what's going tohappen.
Hey dad, why was so-and-sousing someone I'm like?
And now we got to go down thatroad, yeah, and in my mind I'm
like we're probably not comingback, you know, cause my job to
present a good, healthy optionto them, right?
(34:11):
So it's like you know, andthat's cool.
I've actually probably betterfor it, and I've had other
people saying you know, um, Iappreciate that, you know, and
okay, that's like, I'm not mything.
Man, I'm not here judging yourlife and condemning you to hell.
I'm just saying, if this isgoing to be the atmosphere,
we're going to find somethingbetter to do.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, I love it.
We need strict boundaries andcalling people to higher
standards.
That's really what the youthtoday and even adults I mean we
crave.
We want to be called to thehighest level possible, right,
Because we slip and we get lazyand and then to be around
somebody that's like, oh, no,not here, it's kind of like oh,
(34:47):
but then it's like, oh, thisfeels good it shouldn't be
shameful, it should be like I aminviting you into excellence
and when you do that, you'relike this, feels better.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
You know, like even down it, you've walked in the
street and you've heard somebodycussing.
If I stopped you right there,your whole family said what do
you think about that?
Like I wish that wouldn'thappen.
You know, and then and all of asudden, you start like
separating from people.
And other times, you know, Itell this to my kids.
Sometimes I will separate fromthat, sometimes I will endure.
You know that if it's, if it'sfor somebody else and it's a
good friend of mine and they'regoing through it, and I'll tell
(35:16):
them.
I'll tell them I appreciate it,but sometimes I do endure it to
pursue that person.
But I'm not going to ask mykids to do that.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
They're just not equipped for it.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Right so and my kids.
What's beautiful is seeing thishappen this week is, um, my, my
girls.
They're just beautiful, Liketheir mom.
I just praise the Lord.
And some kid was saying hey,can you not talk like that?
If you're going to talk likethat, go over there.
And they do.
And they're like, hey, can Icome play with you again?
Well, just talk, right.
And they're like, okay, sothey're doing it.
They're like just kind of, andagain, not in charge of you.
(35:43):
But man, I'm trying to enjoy agame and I'm like what's up with
this kid?
He's like this tall, he'stelling older kids like, hey,
man, cool, there's ladies aroundhere and I don't care to hear
that, and it's, and they could,they could just keep on going.
But okay, now I have to leave.
(36:04):
I was wanting to hang out withyou guys.
It was cooler when he was here,Exactly.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I think it's just honest and you're conditioning
your kids to stand up for what'sright and saying like this can
be done in love, guys.
You don't have to.
You know, get in someone's faceand ask them to stop being who
they are right now.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
You know.
But you can just say hey, youmind, you know trashing that
language, or you know you mightdoing that somewhere else.
Yeah, and I just don't see thatwith kids.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
We're at the park and I'll do the same thing.
I'll ask kids hey man, can youplease not ride your bicycle
down the slide?
I mean, my kids are on bikes,so it's dangerous.
You're an example to them.
Sometimes they get upset orwhatever and I'll just say, hey,
why don't you guys go just ridesomewhere else?
And sometimes they'll give youa little flack or whatever.
But I think it's important, asparents too, to to take a
(36:55):
courageous stand and be bold anddo it with love you know, I'm
inviting you to do this.
I'm not telling you you have to.
I'm not going to tell you whatI'm going to do to you if you
don't, but here's another option, and here's how your behavior
is affecting the kids aroundhere.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Just standing up to protect our kids and our kids
see that.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
And I've done this before with with grown men, but
then with kids as well.
You got to read the room rightand then use tactics that are
appropriate for that.
But I've I've said hey guys,I'm trying to raise some ladies
over here.
Can you help me out?
Like the I don't care that hearthat language.
And they're like oh sorry,brother, you know, like that
kind of thing, but you're justsecundus optio, it's.
It's a Latin for second option,because I was taught as a young
(37:38):
man to just not not set down Idon't think we need a class on
this, but was modeled for me waspretend you didn't see it, like
even something.
Like you see somebody getassaulted or whatever.
Just pretend you didn't see it.
And then I'm going to feel likea coward later for not saying
something or just go over thereand clock the guy right.
I've seen both of thosethroughout my life but nobody
taught me the middle part, thatsecond option, right, like how
do you use intellect to say like, hey guys, and come over and
(37:59):
just take all the steam out ofthe room and just be that model
of in strength, not weakness?
I see a lot of people I turnthe other cheek.
I'm like you don't really knowhow to do anything else, right,
you're just gonna.
But they try to sell it asstrength and I'm like no, I
don't think you're capable of.
The other thing is why you didthat right.
So I think to be like meekwould be the definition of meek
would be I could do X, but Ichoose not to.
(38:20):
I could come punch you out, butI'm not going to, because
that's not the objective here.
The objective is to let youknow that's not okay to act like
that.
And you can, but now I have toleave.
Like all those are, you know, awoman caught in adultery
walking into what is a verydangerous life and death
situation.
Back then, stoning to death.
Was that?
There's this energy that goeson with mobs, right?
(38:41):
If?
you've seen this, it's just thisall of a sudden, weak men feel
strong and they just start andit's very, very dangerous.
We're trained to look and seethis and avoid it and all that
stuff in a protective capacity.
But when you see that, to walkinto that and get involved put
you, put you a target on yourback as well.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
I bet.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Then to say like, okay, do I pretend I didn't see
it, or do I call it on a Legionto wipe you out, or do I use my
intellect to write in the sandand say something true?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Send, cast the first stone.
Everybody goes home.
Wow, you just modeled how todeescalate this entire thing.
And everybody goes home better.
Yes, including this woman.
Okay, go listen to more.
We're good here.
That's right, that is a big,big lesson that we never get
taught.
I never got taught and then Italked to 50, 60 year old man
and they go can you teach me howto do that?
I'm like what, how to talk toother men.
(39:37):
I'm like figured out togetherand we are.
Yes, we are.
You have so much awesome stuffgoing on.
This is I get to do this.
This is amazing.
It's a blessing right, becauseit's like it's all connected.
It's not like 20 segments ofsporadic stuff a leads to b
leads to c and I'm going towardshealthy me.
I'm working on jimmy graham andyou're invited and let's learn
this stuff together.
And you know, one of myspiritual leaders is my pastor
and these buddies, and I getthis community to kind of say I
tell them jokingly, you, youknow, one of my spiritual
leaders is my pastor and thesebuddies, and I get this
community to kind of say I tellthem jokingly you guys, you know
(39:58):
, you're all guinea pigs.
We're just trying to figure thisout, but we get to shoot guns
and four wheel drives andmotorcycles and take care of one
another along the way, and itseems to be very attractive for
people and it's growing and it'shealthy and it's good.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Awesome.
Well, how, how do people findyou if they want to kind of join
the tribe, the Able Shepherdtribe?
I mean, how would somebody findyou?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
So I tell people, if you want to learn about the
program, you know the trainingprogram.
It's ableshepherdcom Able as in, capable shepherd, as in to
shepherd, right.
So A-B-L-E-S-H-E-P-H-E-R-Dcom.
But I say, if you want to seethe heart of the organization,
(40:40):
you got to go to the YouTubechannel, because we are, in
particular, the one I'm probablythe most proud of at this point
is the four day adventure withthe kids was all I mean.
It was emotional, it was amazing, it was such a cool thing of
let's go model strength forthese little ones, because there
are a future and many familiesand just things where, like, a
kid falls and it doesn't have tobe his parent that picks him up
, somebody's going to pick himup and they know it.
Or girls too.
You know one young lady namedReagan.
She's a sweetheart and she waslike, when they interviewed her
(41:01):
after she said I just know whenI fall, there'll always be
somebody to pick me up, andwe're like it's just amazing,
right.
And again, if you challengethem and require more of our
young people to show up, like,invite them to excellence, that
will show up every time, butwe're not.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yes, well, and you're inspiring me because, as being
the leader of this organizationof families of character, I
think you know, especially a newleader here.
Sometimes we get put in a boxright or put ourselves in a box
where we're like, okay, we'redoing this one thing with our
community and you're, what Ihear you saying is like, hey, if
people are interested in it, itseems like it would serve our
community.
(41:37):
And it may be a wild idea tojump on these motorcycles and go
out into the mountains and like, yeah, there's a lot of risks,
right, and liability waivers andall these things, but you're
like let's just, let's put ittogether and let's make it
happen.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And people love it.
That's what we love.
We love wild ideas with a hintof danger and all this other
stuff and commitment and defendit on the calendar and all that
kind of stuff.
People love it.
Or even how many people wouldcome alive to defend a school?
You know what I mean.
We've talked about that, youknow, and I'm talking to more
and more people about.
We've got an idea on how do youbuild future schools.
What if the building itselfsaid to get to them, you've got
(42:10):
to go through me, thatprotective principle, right,
it's hard to go through concreteand brick and all that stuff.
Make it beautiful, make itamazing, make it a community
event where my business, theback of my business, actually
protects your kids at play Right, that's, that's something
that's doable.
I presented that on.
It was on C-SPAN for theWestern Conservatives Summit a
couple of years ago, you know,and people really scratching
their heads and we're pursuingthat.
It's just it going on, jimmy,just please don't hesitate to
(42:31):
reach out.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I mean there's a lot of crossover with parents, you
know in our community, andfamilies, and then just needing
good, solid ideas and plans andtraining for how to protect
ourselves and our families athome and in the community.
I mean, it's just endless.
So you've got a big umadventure ahead of you and I
(43:00):
know it takes a lot of supportand it takes money and it takes
people and employees andvolunteers and everything.
So if there's any way we cankind of cross our audiences and
our communities and help supportwhat you're doing, or, um, get
the word out.
If you have some awesomeopportunity opportunity like you
just did with with thismountain adventure coming our
(43:21):
way, let us know, Cause we'd behappy to sign up and get people
out there and take you up onthat.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I think it is that, that unifying thing.
The line should be our kids.
This should be something thatgets us United and says, hey,
we're going to, we're going todraw a line in the sand and that
lines our kids.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Absolutely so enjoyed our conversations.
Thank you for coming out today.
Guys, check out Able Shepherd,please trust me.
I've done this program with myhusband, my three kids.
The emergency family readinessprogram was amazing.
We're signing up for theProtect Our People class and
going to be participating inthat.
(43:57):
So there's so many ways that youcan protect your family and
plan ahead for these things.
But sometimes you just don'tknow where to start.
And if you're a young father ormother and you're going, but I
just don't know if my plan wouldbe legit, just take a course,
you know, take it from someonewho's been there, done that,
wrote the program and go fromthere.
(44:19):
So we will.
We also in our own community,at Families of Character, have a
couples coaching series thathas launched.
So make sure that you go tofamiliesofcharactercom.
Parenting is hard, marriage isdifficult at times, and so we
wanna help you reconnect withyour spouse and make sure that
you have some clarity over thechaos of the family calendar so
(44:44):
that you can bring some peaceand unity back into your home.
So check outfamiliesofcharactercom for that.
Thank you again, jimmy, and wewill see you on another episode
of the Families of Charactershow.
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