June 11, 2025 • 30 mins
Join me on a heartfelt journey back to my baby days with my daughter! Discover how early tears from ear infections and teething taught me the power of asking for help, whether through encouraging words from my sister and mother-in-law or hugs and helpful tips from Grandma. This lesson helped build my confidence in tackling parenting moments with my baby. Tune in for love and lots of laughter!
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Episode Transcript
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UNKNOWN (00:00):
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome back and in this episode I have called it
(00:35):
The baby days.
Do you remember, or maybe you'rein that season right now, where
your only child is a baby.
Or maybe you're in that seasonright now, you're like, it's
kind of like a blurb, and Idon't remember.
I do, but I don't.
I just remember, like today Iwoke up, and I'm thinking, yay!
(00:58):
Not there.
I'm at the stage where...
They can do everything, meaningthey can brush their own teeth,
get themselves dressed, andbutter their bread.
So depending where you are, Iwanted to talk about those baby
(01:20):
seasons.
And it was because I was goingthrough my phone, as you do, and
I was just scrolling through allthe thousands of pictures I have
of her.
And I was thinking, man, whatdid I learn about myself during
those baby seasons?
And I really had to think.
And one of them was, I had tolearn, and I'm naturally a
(01:42):
person, I thought, yeah, Iprobably need support, but I
didn't realize during thoselittle baby times, you know,
that I really needed a lot ofhelp.
And maybe you're listening,you're like, No, I didn't really
need to because, you know, yougrew up babysitting, looking
(02:05):
after children and you had thoseskills.
But for me, yes, I did babysitand I did.
But boy, I think watchingcertain shows, I don't know, but
maybe I had this image in mymind that I can...
(02:28):
that I didn't really need a lot,but it came down to it.
I forgot about the factor of,one, I was tired, and I didn't
realize how tired I was.
And two, maybe I was not eatingwell some days, so that made me
tired.
Or three, I was cleaning a lot,and then not really sleeping, so
(02:52):
that made me tired.
Isn't there a theme?
So...
I wanted to talk about myselfduring those seasons when, you
know, Olivia was little.
And so, especially when it cameto her, like, teething.
Boy, wee.
I mean, I read online.
(03:13):
And I'm so thankful there's somuch information online.
You can Google it.
I mean, you can even call yourdoctor, nurse.
Yes.
Call.
But I had to make the initialstep.
to call, to reach out tosomeone.
And those people, I'm so gladthey were always available.
(03:34):
That would be my sister online,sister over the phone, or my
mother-in-law or my grandma.
I was so happy.
And then I realized, you knowwhat?
To me, it may be like somequestions like, oh, you know,
she's crying and I don't putthis numbing thing on her mouth
(03:58):
or I gave her something like acold cloth so she can chew on it
or something chew so to help herduring those teething stages and
I would it might have comeacross a simple question and I'm
like is this should I even knowabout these things and But
(04:21):
everybody has a different wayhow to work for them.
And so the more I ask, andsometimes I thought, man, this
might be like a dumb question.
Look, I tell you what, it's nota dumb question if you don't
ask.
Now, are they dumb questions?
There might be some dumb momentsthat you ask, I mean.
(04:45):
I've always have asked somemoments, but not relating in
babies, bringing up, I'm sureI've had some adult moments
where like, that was a goodquestion.
That was a dumb time to, thatwasn't a good time to ask that
question.
Anywho, getting back on topic.
So what I learned about myselfwhen, during those baby times is
(05:05):
I had to really get out of myown comfort zone and and just
ask when I didn't feel like Iwanted to.
And it could be differentreasons.
For example, maybe at that time,and really, I don't really know
a lot, I mean, during that time,because right now when I think
(05:27):
about it, I'm like, I was justgoing through those, I was just
going through the motion.
I just wanted to make sure mybaby was healthy, she felt
well-loved, and I could give heryou know, making sure that she's
taken care of the best I canwith the time that's given, with
the resources I have.
So with the ear infections, likeI remember I had a friend and I
(05:52):
was telling her, sharing aboutOlivia's, you know, ear
infections, she'll get one andthen a few months later she'll
get another one, then anothermonth.
And my friend said that herdaughter would get like, oh,
it's normal for her becauseshe'll get one infection after
the next, after the next.
And I think she said about sixor seven.
And it wasn't until then thatthey went to go and see a
(06:14):
specialist.
And they had all theseantibiotics.
And I was like, is that normal?
I mean, some people might saylistening, yeah, that is.
And other people might say no.
But for me, I felt like, youknow what?
I'm just going to reach out toanother doctor.
And I asked around, and then Ifound, and then there's so many
(06:37):
different ways.
Some of the people have usingnatural ways to, you know, heal
the ear.
But I chose to, like, I'm goingto ask one, my mother-in-law, my
grandma, and my sister.
Those are my core people becauseboth that comes with other
questions that I ask.
(06:58):
And so what happened was I wentto the doctor, and I said to
her, hey, this is the third one,and I'm really concerned, and I
told her why, and I want to goand see a specialist, just
something.
And so she was kind enoughbecause I really– I really
(07:19):
advocated to see someone.
I didn't want to wait to thesixth or seventh one to go and
see a specialist.
And it's different for eachcountry.
So you may be listening to thisand you're like, wow, you have
to wait to a certain another oneto get another ear infection
specialist.
Just where I live, right now inamerica i mean at that time it
may be different because oliviahas not had an air infection in
(07:42):
a long time praise jesus i'mtelling you because those those
days were not good so what itended was there was um i don't
know she just had to she endedup getting the um antibiotic but
the specialist, he said, well,she's just prone to having an
(08:03):
air infection.
It doesn't matter if she'sswimming or not swimming.
And she did it.
He was really good.
He said that she didn't needair, like have an air operation.
He was just saying, you know,she'll just hopefully grow out
of it.
Or if not, I was like, oh Jesus,she's going to grow out of it.
No, because I, I didn't want herto keep having these infections
(08:26):
and I didn't want her to putantibiotics and I didn't want to
do all this other stuff becauseI didn't think it was good for
her because we were onantibiotics and boy, we, that
was not a good experience aswell for her.
That's another story.
So I guess that's why I wastired during those baby seasons,
just when it came to infectionsand teething.
(08:49):
Everything else, she, and foodallergies too.
Oh my goodness, now I feel likeI'm telling her business.
She'll be like, mom, why are youtelling him all my baby
business?
She's probably thinking this isabout you.
Well, how I'm processing it outis, I guess during those baby
(09:10):
seasons, during those times whenI was tired and she was going
through those situations, Yes.
And my husband, he was here.
But for me, I just wanted tohave like my own mama hug with
my grandma, with mymother-in-law and sister.
(09:31):
So I just, for some reason, I'mlike, yeah, I love you, husband.
And you're so awesome.
And you're very supportive.
But I want my, I want a femalethat's been through this because
I didn't know, am I going crazy?
Am I doing it right?
Am I checking all the boxes forher?
(09:51):
Am I supposed to be?
I was always wondering.
I guess at the end of the day, Iwas always wondering, am I a
good mom?
And I think I cried.
Like, am I a good mom?
Should I have done thissituation?
Should she have had the earoperation to help with that?
(10:15):
I shouldn't have given herantibiotics and now she's not
responding well.
There were so many situationswhere I second-guessed myself.
And I'm just saying...
When I had those moments and Ifelt like, boy, I really messed
up on that one, I was sothankful that I had the support
(10:39):
from my loving sisters, from myloving mother-in-law and my
grandma, because they were soencouraging to me.
when I felt down about myselfbecause I thought maybe I didn't
ask.
I should have asked quicker.
I should have responded quickerwhen I saw the signs because
(11:01):
maybe there's so many moms outthere, they know exactly what to
do at the exact same time,exactly know what happens, and
they can get that medicine orthey can help their child be the
best.
I mean, I was really, duringthose moments, I think maybe if
I didn't verbally say it, maybeI internalized it myself and
(11:26):
just shoved it down and probablyate a cake or ate some chips or
just put it down in a spacewhere it shouldn't be.
And that's why I wanted to, inthis episode, you know, during
those baby sections, Duringthose baby seasons for me, when
(11:47):
I'm looking back at it andsharing it on this episode, you
might be going through thatright now.
And I wanted to keep encouragingyou is to reach out.
Ask for help.
And maybe you're like, I don'thave a family member.
I don't have anyone.
(12:08):
I don't have a closerelationship with my
mother-in-law or grandma orsisters.
I hope you find someone.
And it might be your next doorneighbor.
It might be the lady down theroad who owns a shop.
I don't know because there'ssome places that are not even
like blood related.
It could be a co-worker.
(12:29):
You could be working part-timeand, you know, you've got a
baby.
you know, a baby at childcare ora family member's looking after
your baby and you might have afriend and they can give you
good advice or they can be theencourager or they can just let
you process what you're feelingduring those baby seasons.
(12:54):
Or maybe you're the one who'slistening to this podcast, and
you've been through those babyseasons, and now you're the one
helping another mom.
I mean, when I see other momsand they're having, and they
have a baby, I mean, they'rehaving a baby.
It's not like I'm in thehospital with them.
And they have their baby, and iftheir baby is fussy, you know, a
(13:18):
little bit, and the mom justlooks like, because I reckon we
all mamas know, we're like, oh,and I look at her and I'm like,
you, I just give her a smile,it's okay, like, I'm trying to
give her that vibe, you're agood mom, and you're doing the
best you can with the timethat's given, with the resources
you have, and if you can makethat baby smile, and that baby
(13:39):
laughs, or something, I know, Imean, I'm not going to go and
pick up that lady's baby like,hey, do you want me to hold that
baby?
I am not that kind of womanbecause that mom might say, who
are you?
But, you know, some people dothat.
You see it on YouTube if ababy's crying.
I mean, you know what to do,what is appropriate, right?
But reaching out to you as amom, reaching out when you need
(14:06):
help is so good for your soul,right?
And the more you reach out andthe more we can reach out.
You know what?
How about you listen as well?
So that's a good tip.
If you're reaching out andyou're letting it out, but
you're not listening.
I'm just saying it may comeacross like, oh, she's just
(14:30):
dumping and dumping and dumpingand dumping.
And she doesn't take any advice.
Just comes and dumps.
Well, just giving you thisstraight up.
If you're asking and you keepasking, it's a good idea.
Yay.
Yay that you ask, but also yaythat you listen and put into
(14:53):
action what has been given toyou.
Now, because you trust thesepeople and the advice they give
you, I'm not saying doeverything that they say, but
take into consideration of whatyou ask and then put action into
it.
It may not be like when it cameto the Olivia's, what, teething,
(15:18):
and someone said, oh, maybe try,you know, one of these toys, and
you put it in the freezer, andthen she can chew on it when
she's teething.
It just helps soothes the gums.
And I thought, okay.
I mean, I was like, are yousure?
(15:41):
I thought, well, why did I askif I'm not going to do it?
And it doesn't take me long togo and get something.
So that's what I mean.
But if there's something, and Idon't, I mean, maybe you have
someone and they say theweirdest thing.
Well, it would be obvious youwouldn't go back to them.
I mean, unless they say randomthings.
(16:05):
And you're like, that is sorandom.
I don't know why I keep goingback to that person.
But I hope like during theseseasons, different seasons, you
get to learn, you get to laugh,and you get to discover and
learn more about yourself,right?
Because that's what we are alldoing as moms with our only
(16:29):
child.
We are learning about ourselves,right?
And we're becoming more aware ofwhat I did.
I'll tell you what, I'mlearning, I'm being more aware
of what I like, don't like, andwhat I can, what I'm more
confident.
(16:49):
And I just hone in those things.
And the others that I like, ohmy goodness, whoopsie daisy.
I mean, I think whoopsie daisyis when, Maybe Olivia was sick,
maybe with a cold or something.
And I didn't recognize it waslike something else, like maybe
(17:16):
it was an ear infection again.
And I thought it was just a coldand she was really fussing that
time.
And you'd think I wouldn't knowit.
And by the time I took her tothe doctor, and sometimes it's
not always plain like, it's notalways clear.
They don't have a fever, butthey have, you know, But they're
sick.
I mean, she may be coughing orsomething.
(17:36):
I mean, those ones, I'm like, ohmy goodness.
I think I went back and forth,like asking the nurse all the
time and asking other moms.
I mean, my mother-in-law, onceagain, my grandma, like, what do
you think?
And because, you know, they had,they raised, they had children,
they raised their own children,they raised their grandchildren.
they were, one, they were morecalmer.
(17:58):
Like, inside, as I'm talking, inmy heart, they probably could
feel like, whoa, boy, her heartis going boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.
And if you see my eyes, I meanmy words, but you can see, like,
man, my, whoo, I am just like,is it on a treadmill somewhere?
(18:19):
I'm, like, getting old.
getting really excited reallypassionate oh my goodness I
gotta do something about it butthey will always come like okay
it's okay everybody goes throughthis or yeah I've been through
this situation it's fine and howabout you do this and that's
what I love because they saidthey would say how about have
(18:40):
you thought of this or how aboutgoing about it this way they
were so kind and helping me outand so I hope that you have like
a good support group or someonethat you can continue to reach
out.
And if you don't, please, yougot to make the time.
(19:01):
You got to make the investmentto build a friend, to build a
friend.
You got to make that time tofind someone to help you when
those times get tough.
And then once you find thatsomeone, and they are of sound
mind, like they are of soundmind, because you don't want to
(19:24):
do something that you know thatis not good for you, your
marriage, or your husband, oryou're looking after your child,
someone that has the bestinterest for you, you know,
start taking, putting actioninto what they're saying.
Just a little bit, a little bitto feel comfortable, that wants
the best for you, that wants thebest for you, you know, as a mom
(19:48):
raising your child, doing thebest you can with the time
that's given.
So I tell you what, enjoy thebaby seasons.
And it is so true.
If you're listening to this andyou just have a little bubba,
and you're like, oh, just goingthrough the stage right now, or
maybe enjoying it, like this isa breeze.
(20:12):
I love it.
That is amazing.
And some days it's going to beamazing.
And other days it's like, man,it went so quick.
And it surely does.
I don't know how that'spossible.
It goes so quick.
Maybe it goes so quick becauseyou are doing so much.
You're pouring into this littleone.
You know, everything is aboutthis little one.
(20:35):
Like you are feeding.
You are taking care.
You are, you know, you'reproviding like food.
everything 24-7 for so manyyears doesn't stop it just looks
different as they get older Icrack up laughing but did I
(20:57):
enjoy it overall I surely didenjoy the baby stages yeah there
were moments yeah there weremoments I cried yeah there were
moments when I said I could havedone better but there are lots
of moments when I felt man I didthe best I can and I am just,
woohoo, today's a good day.
(21:19):
And then I go to sleep.
Like, today's a good day.
Good job.
You know, somewhere, I'm sure Isaid to myself, good job.
Or someone else said, good job.
And then I'm like, yeah, I did agood job.
I mean, oh, my goodness.
(21:40):
This is so funny.
When I...
When Olivia, during those babyseasons, I would take my
grandmother with me to thedoctors.
And I, for some reason, if I'msick, I'm okay, of course.
If my husband's sick, yeah,he'll survive.
But whenever she was sick, Iwould be a mess.
(22:05):
Like seriously, I could not holdmyself together.
So I would take Olivia to thedoctors and my grandmother came
with me to all the appointments.
I think she stopped when she waslike maybe six years old.
She never missed anyappointments because I made it
in schedule around her.
And I remember like when theywere just checking Olivia as you
(22:27):
do a yearly check, you go in, doyour appointments.
I mean, you go, I would never,if the doctor, you know,
checking Olivia and she's doingwhat she needs to do.
And depending if she got neededa injection or whatever, or I
would be crying and the doctorwould say, ma'am, do you need
(22:49):
to, do you need to leave theroom?
You need to get yourselftogether.
Now, how ridiculous is that?
I don't know if you're probablythinking, wow, wow.
And I'm like, That was just meduring that season.
I was so sensitive.
But I surely, if my husband, ifhe was in the same, whatever, if
(23:12):
he was sick and I had to go withhim, which I haven't been to any
appointments, but if I did, I'dbe like, you're fine.
But I am totally the opposite.
I'm like, you'll survive.
Let's move on.
But with her, I'm like, oh, mygoodness.
What am I going to do?
Like, I don't know if you likeme.
(23:35):
And now, am I better?
I am so much better.
So when she's not feeling well,I'm not crying.
And maybe I was crying because Ifelt like there's nothing I
could do for her.
And I was just so upset that I'ma bad mom again.
(23:57):
And I went deep.
I'm like, why my bad mom?
Where did this stem from?
How come I didn't do the signs?
This is all my fault.
See, that's what I mean.
But now when she gets sick, I'mlike, yeah, you're fine.
Just take whatever, blah, blah,blah.
Oh, you need a rest.
Go to sleep.
I mean, I am so much better.
That's what I mean.
After, during these babyseasons, having help, you know,
(24:21):
that's what I'm learning aboutmyself.
I am Oh my goodness, there's somany other things.
But that's what I wanted toshare with you.
I wanted to share with you, yourbaby seasons is different for
everybody.
But I wanted to share what minelooked like.
And I wouldn't change it becauseI absolutely loved it.
(24:43):
I really did love it.
And I want to tell you, Mom, youare doing the best you can with
the time that's given, with theresources you have.
Seriously, and I want to keepsaying that to remind you, like
I totally believe with all myheart that you are an amazing
(25:05):
mom.
And I hope you tell yourself thesame.
I tell myself I am an amazingmom for my child.
I'm an amazing wife for myhusband.
I am the best mom for her and Iam the awesome best wife for my
husband.
You're welcome.
(25:27):
And I say that because I trulyam.
You are truly am.
You are giving your best andyou're giving what you got.
Like you are showing up for yourfamily.
Whether or you made breakfast,you didn't make breakfast.
Whether you're working part-timeor you're staying at home as a
(25:48):
full-time mama.
Okay, we're all full-timemembers, but you know what I
mean.
Or you cleaned the house, youdidn't clean the house.
It's different for everybody,and everybody goes through
different things.
But I wanted to keepencouraging, as you keep
listening to this podcast, youare beautiful.
(26:09):
You are amazing.
And you are wonderfully made.
Like, seriously.
When you look yourself in themirror, Give yourself a high
five and hug your soul.
You're thinking, how can I hugmy soul?
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Do that five times.
(26:29):
Breathe in.
Hold it for a few seconds.
And then breathe out.
Just slow it down.
Look yourself in the mirror andsay, soul, I love you.
Why?
Because you've got to be kind toyourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Say kind things.
(26:50):
You say kind things to yourchild.
You say kind things to yourhusband.
So make sure you say kind thingsto yourself as well.
Okay?
So I am so glad that you arelistening to the Family of One
podcast.
And also, I'm so excited becauseI am still working on my book.
(27:13):
It's called the IcebreakerMiniseries.
So I have been writing a book,and I talked about this a few
episodes ago, that I created abook about periods, and it was
an icebreaker.
It was just to introduce thetopic about periods.
UNKNOWN (27:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (27:35):
How to start the conversation.
Because there are so many thingsout there, like online, in the
library, you know, on Amazon,you name it, books about
periods.
But I was specifically lookingfor an icebreaker book.
Nothing in detail, justintroducing the word periods,
(27:57):
where it came from, what do youdo, just to help you have that
conversation.
Like, Nothing deep, just likeit's a two to three minute read,
probably two minute read.
Because my daughter read it andshe goes, keep it short, mama.
Keep it short, mom.
(28:19):
And it was really for her.
So it's aimed at children toread to parents, their moms or
mom and daughter can read ittogether.
So that's why I created, and Ithought, you know what?
I think I'm going to start anicebreaker miniseries.
So it's really, I'll havedifferent topics and it's going
to be based on lots ofconversations that I have with
(28:40):
Olivia.
What kind of topics, you know,that I just want to have an
icebreaker and talk about.
And then I will start writingthe book.
So I'm still working on that.
If you want to hear more, moreabout it I will put a sample on
the book what it looks like andthen I'll just have like a
waiting list so you can if youwant to order the book later on
(29:05):
I'll make that available And Ialso want to give a big shout
out to my listeners.
Thank you so much for yoursupport from the United States,
especially from Wetago.
I hope I got that right fromConnecticut and Bristol.
And then we got listeners fromJapan, Canada, France, Germany,
(29:27):
United Kingdom, Spain, andAustralia.
I just want to say thank you somuch for listening and tuning in
to each week.
When I release the episode, Ijust want to say thank you so
much.
And please reach out to my fanmail if you have any questions
or send me an email in the linkbelow.
(29:50):
I would just love to connectwith you.
Once again, you've beenlistening to the Family of One
podcast.
This is for your friend.
I will meet you in the nextepisode.
Bye.
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome back and in this episode I have called it
(00:35):
The baby days.
Do you remember, or maybe you'rein that season right now, where
your only child is a baby.
Or maybe you're in that seasonright now, you're like, it's
kind of like a blurb, and Idon't remember.
I do, but I don't.
I just remember, like today Iwoke up, and I'm thinking, yay!
(00:58):
Not there.
I'm at the stage where...
They can do everything, meaningthey can brush their own teeth,
get themselves dressed, andbutter their bread.
So depending where you are, Iwanted to talk about those baby
(01:20):
seasons.
And it was because I was goingthrough my phone, as you do, and
I was just scrolling through allthe thousands of pictures I have
of her.
And I was thinking, man, whatdid I learn about myself during
those baby seasons?
And I really had to think.
And one of them was, I had tolearn, and I'm naturally a
(01:42):
person, I thought, yeah, Iprobably need support, but I
didn't realize during thoselittle baby times, you know,
that I really needed a lot ofhelp.
And maybe you're listening,you're like, No, I didn't really
need to because, you know, yougrew up babysitting, looking
(02:05):
after children and you had thoseskills.
But for me, yes, I did babysitand I did.
But boy, I think watchingcertain shows, I don't know, but
maybe I had this image in mymind that I can...
(02:28):
that I didn't really need a lot,but it came down to it.
I forgot about the factor of,one, I was tired, and I didn't
realize how tired I was.
And two, maybe I was not eatingwell some days, so that made me
tired.
Or three, I was cleaning a lot,and then not really sleeping, so
(02:52):
that made me tired.
Isn't there a theme?
So...
I wanted to talk about myselfduring those seasons when, you
know, Olivia was little.
And so, especially when it cameto her, like, teething.
Boy, wee.
I mean, I read online.
(03:13):
And I'm so thankful there's somuch information online.
You can Google it.
I mean, you can even call yourdoctor, nurse.
Yes.
Call.
But I had to make the initialstep.
to call, to reach out tosomeone.
And those people, I'm so gladthey were always available.
(03:34):
That would be my sister online,sister over the phone, or my
mother-in-law or my grandma.
I was so happy.
And then I realized, you knowwhat?
To me, it may be like somequestions like, oh, you know,
she's crying and I don't putthis numbing thing on her mouth
(03:58):
or I gave her something like acold cloth so she can chew on it
or something chew so to help herduring those teething stages and
I would it might have comeacross a simple question and I'm
like is this should I even knowabout these things and But
(04:21):
everybody has a different wayhow to work for them.
And so the more I ask, andsometimes I thought, man, this
might be like a dumb question.
Look, I tell you what, it's nota dumb question if you don't
ask.
Now, are they dumb questions?
There might be some dumb momentsthat you ask, I mean.
(04:45):
I've always have asked somemoments, but not relating in
babies, bringing up, I'm sureI've had some adult moments
where like, that was a goodquestion.
That was a dumb time to, thatwasn't a good time to ask that
question.
Anywho, getting back on topic.
So what I learned about myselfwhen, during those baby times is
(05:05):
I had to really get out of myown comfort zone and and just
ask when I didn't feel like Iwanted to.
And it could be differentreasons.
For example, maybe at that time,and really, I don't really know
a lot, I mean, during that time,because right now when I think
(05:27):
about it, I'm like, I was justgoing through those, I was just
going through the motion.
I just wanted to make sure mybaby was healthy, she felt
well-loved, and I could give heryou know, making sure that she's
taken care of the best I canwith the time that's given, with
the resources I have.
So with the ear infections, likeI remember I had a friend and I
(05:52):
was telling her, sharing aboutOlivia's, you know, ear
infections, she'll get one andthen a few months later she'll
get another one, then anothermonth.
And my friend said that herdaughter would get like, oh,
it's normal for her becauseshe'll get one infection after
the next, after the next.
And I think she said about sixor seven.
And it wasn't until then thatthey went to go and see a
(06:14):
specialist.
And they had all theseantibiotics.
And I was like, is that normal?
I mean, some people might saylistening, yeah, that is.
And other people might say no.
But for me, I felt like, youknow what?
I'm just going to reach out toanother doctor.
And I asked around, and then Ifound, and then there's so many
(06:37):
different ways.
Some of the people have usingnatural ways to, you know, heal
the ear.
But I chose to, like, I'm goingto ask one, my mother-in-law, my
grandma, and my sister.
Those are my core people becauseboth that comes with other
questions that I ask.
(06:58):
And so what happened was I wentto the doctor, and I said to
her, hey, this is the third one,and I'm really concerned, and I
told her why, and I want to goand see a specialist, just
something.
And so she was kind enoughbecause I really– I really
(07:19):
advocated to see someone.
I didn't want to wait to thesixth or seventh one to go and
see a specialist.
And it's different for eachcountry.
So you may be listening to thisand you're like, wow, you have
to wait to a certain another oneto get another ear infection
specialist.
Just where I live, right now inamerica i mean at that time it
may be different because oliviahas not had an air infection in
(07:42):
a long time praise jesus i'mtelling you because those those
days were not good so what itended was there was um i don't
know she just had to she endedup getting the um antibiotic but
the specialist, he said, well,she's just prone to having an
(08:03):
air infection.
It doesn't matter if she'sswimming or not swimming.
And she did it.
He was really good.
He said that she didn't needair, like have an air operation.
He was just saying, you know,she'll just hopefully grow out
of it.
Or if not, I was like, oh Jesus,she's going to grow out of it.
No, because I, I didn't want herto keep having these infections
(08:26):
and I didn't want her to putantibiotics and I didn't want to
do all this other stuff becauseI didn't think it was good for
her because we were onantibiotics and boy, we, that
was not a good experience aswell for her.
That's another story.
So I guess that's why I wastired during those baby seasons,
just when it came to infectionsand teething.
(08:49):
Everything else, she, and foodallergies too.
Oh my goodness, now I feel likeI'm telling her business.
She'll be like, mom, why are youtelling him all my baby
business?
She's probably thinking this isabout you.
Well, how I'm processing it outis, I guess during those baby
(09:10):
seasons, during those times whenI was tired and she was going
through those situations, Yes.
And my husband, he was here.
But for me, I just wanted tohave like my own mama hug with
my grandma, with mymother-in-law and sister.
(09:31):
So I just, for some reason, I'mlike, yeah, I love you, husband.
And you're so awesome.
And you're very supportive.
But I want my, I want a femalethat's been through this because
I didn't know, am I going crazy?
Am I doing it right?
Am I checking all the boxes forher?
(09:51):
Am I supposed to be?
I was always wondering.
I guess at the end of the day, Iwas always wondering, am I a
good mom?
And I think I cried.
Like, am I a good mom?
Should I have done thissituation?
Should she have had the earoperation to help with that?
(10:15):
I shouldn't have given herantibiotics and now she's not
responding well.
There were so many situationswhere I second-guessed myself.
And I'm just saying...
When I had those moments and Ifelt like, boy, I really messed
up on that one, I was sothankful that I had the support
(10:39):
from my loving sisters, from myloving mother-in-law and my
grandma, because they were soencouraging to me.
when I felt down about myselfbecause I thought maybe I didn't
ask.
I should have asked quicker.
I should have responded quickerwhen I saw the signs because
(11:01):
maybe there's so many moms outthere, they know exactly what to
do at the exact same time,exactly know what happens, and
they can get that medicine orthey can help their child be the
best.
I mean, I was really, duringthose moments, I think maybe if
I didn't verbally say it, maybeI internalized it myself and
(11:26):
just shoved it down and probablyate a cake or ate some chips or
just put it down in a spacewhere it shouldn't be.
And that's why I wanted to, inthis episode, you know, during
those baby sections, Duringthose baby seasons for me, when
(11:47):
I'm looking back at it andsharing it on this episode, you
might be going through thatright now.
And I wanted to keep encouragingyou is to reach out.
Ask for help.
And maybe you're like, I don'thave a family member.
I don't have anyone.
(12:08):
I don't have a closerelationship with my
mother-in-law or grandma orsisters.
I hope you find someone.
And it might be your next doorneighbor.
It might be the lady down theroad who owns a shop.
I don't know because there'ssome places that are not even
like blood related.
It could be a co-worker.
(12:29):
You could be working part-timeand, you know, you've got a
baby.
you know, a baby at childcare ora family member's looking after
your baby and you might have afriend and they can give you
good advice or they can be theencourager or they can just let
you process what you're feelingduring those baby seasons.
(12:54):
Or maybe you're the one who'slistening to this podcast, and
you've been through those babyseasons, and now you're the one
helping another mom.
I mean, when I see other momsand they're having, and they
have a baby, I mean, they'rehaving a baby.
It's not like I'm in thehospital with them.
And they have their baby, and iftheir baby is fussy, you know, a
(13:18):
little bit, and the mom justlooks like, because I reckon we
all mamas know, we're like, oh,and I look at her and I'm like,
you, I just give her a smile,it's okay, like, I'm trying to
give her that vibe, you're agood mom, and you're doing the
best you can with the timethat's given, with the resources
you have, and if you can makethat baby smile, and that baby
(13:39):
laughs, or something, I know, Imean, I'm not going to go and
pick up that lady's baby like,hey, do you want me to hold that
baby?
I am not that kind of womanbecause that mom might say, who
are you?
But, you know, some people dothat.
You see it on YouTube if ababy's crying.
I mean, you know what to do,what is appropriate, right?
But reaching out to you as amom, reaching out when you need
(14:06):
help is so good for your soul,right?
And the more you reach out andthe more we can reach out.
You know what?
How about you listen as well?
So that's a good tip.
If you're reaching out andyou're letting it out, but
you're not listening.
I'm just saying it may comeacross like, oh, she's just
(14:30):
dumping and dumping and dumpingand dumping.
And she doesn't take any advice.
Just comes and dumps.
Well, just giving you thisstraight up.
If you're asking and you keepasking, it's a good idea.
Yay.
Yay that you ask, but also yaythat you listen and put into
(14:53):
action what has been given toyou.
Now, because you trust thesepeople and the advice they give
you, I'm not saying doeverything that they say, but
take into consideration of whatyou ask and then put action into
it.
It may not be like when it cameto the Olivia's, what, teething,
(15:18):
and someone said, oh, maybe try,you know, one of these toys, and
you put it in the freezer, andthen she can chew on it when
she's teething.
It just helps soothes the gums.
And I thought, okay.
I mean, I was like, are yousure?
(15:41):
I thought, well, why did I askif I'm not going to do it?
And it doesn't take me long togo and get something.
So that's what I mean.
But if there's something, and Idon't, I mean, maybe you have
someone and they say theweirdest thing.
Well, it would be obvious youwouldn't go back to them.
I mean, unless they say randomthings.
(16:05):
And you're like, that is sorandom.
I don't know why I keep goingback to that person.
But I hope like during theseseasons, different seasons, you
get to learn, you get to laugh,and you get to discover and
learn more about yourself,right?
Because that's what we are alldoing as moms with our only
(16:29):
child.
We are learning about ourselves,right?
And we're becoming more aware ofwhat I did.
I'll tell you what, I'mlearning, I'm being more aware
of what I like, don't like, andwhat I can, what I'm more
confident.
(16:49):
And I just hone in those things.
And the others that I like, ohmy goodness, whoopsie daisy.
I mean, I think whoopsie daisyis when, Maybe Olivia was sick,
maybe with a cold or something.
And I didn't recognize it waslike something else, like maybe
(17:16):
it was an ear infection again.
And I thought it was just a coldand she was really fussing that
time.
And you'd think I wouldn't knowit.
And by the time I took her tothe doctor, and sometimes it's
not always plain like, it's notalways clear.
They don't have a fever, butthey have, you know, But they're
sick.
I mean, she may be coughing orsomething.
(17:36):
I mean, those ones, I'm like, ohmy goodness.
I think I went back and forth,like asking the nurse all the
time and asking other moms.
I mean, my mother-in-law, onceagain, my grandma, like, what do
you think?
And because, you know, they had,they raised, they had children,
they raised their own children,they raised their grandchildren.
they were, one, they were morecalmer.
(17:58):
Like, inside, as I'm talking, inmy heart, they probably could
feel like, whoa, boy, her heartis going boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.
And if you see my eyes, I meanmy words, but you can see, like,
man, my, whoo, I am just like,is it on a treadmill somewhere?
(18:19):
I'm, like, getting old.
getting really excited reallypassionate oh my goodness I
gotta do something about it butthey will always come like okay
it's okay everybody goes throughthis or yeah I've been through
this situation it's fine and howabout you do this and that's
what I love because they saidthey would say how about have
(18:40):
you thought of this or how aboutgoing about it this way they
were so kind and helping me outand so I hope that you have like
a good support group or someonethat you can continue to reach
out.
And if you don't, please, yougot to make the time.
(19:01):
You got to make the investmentto build a friend, to build a
friend.
You got to make that time tofind someone to help you when
those times get tough.
And then once you find thatsomeone, and they are of sound
mind, like they are of soundmind, because you don't want to
(19:24):
do something that you know thatis not good for you, your
marriage, or your husband, oryou're looking after your child,
someone that has the bestinterest for you, you know,
start taking, putting actioninto what they're saying.
Just a little bit, a little bitto feel comfortable, that wants
the best for you, that wants thebest for you, you know, as a mom
(19:48):
raising your child, doing thebest you can with the time
that's given.
So I tell you what, enjoy thebaby seasons.
And it is so true.
If you're listening to this andyou just have a little bubba,
and you're like, oh, just goingthrough the stage right now, or
maybe enjoying it, like this isa breeze.
(20:12):
I love it.
That is amazing.
And some days it's going to beamazing.
And other days it's like, man,it went so quick.
And it surely does.
I don't know how that'spossible.
It goes so quick.
Maybe it goes so quick becauseyou are doing so much.
You're pouring into this littleone.
You know, everything is aboutthis little one.
(20:35):
Like you are feeding.
You are taking care.
You are, you know, you'reproviding like food.
everything 24-7 for so manyyears doesn't stop it just looks
different as they get older Icrack up laughing but did I
(20:57):
enjoy it overall I surely didenjoy the baby stages yeah there
were moments yeah there weremoments I cried yeah there were
moments when I said I could havedone better but there are lots
of moments when I felt man I didthe best I can and I am just,
woohoo, today's a good day.
(21:19):
And then I go to sleep.
Like, today's a good day.
Good job.
You know, somewhere, I'm sure Isaid to myself, good job.
Or someone else said, good job.
And then I'm like, yeah, I did agood job.
I mean, oh, my goodness.
(21:40):
This is so funny.
When I...
When Olivia, during those babyseasons, I would take my
grandmother with me to thedoctors.
And I, for some reason, if I'msick, I'm okay, of course.
If my husband's sick, yeah,he'll survive.
But whenever she was sick, Iwould be a mess.
(22:05):
Like seriously, I could not holdmyself together.
So I would take Olivia to thedoctors and my grandmother came
with me to all the appointments.
I think she stopped when she waslike maybe six years old.
She never missed anyappointments because I made it
in schedule around her.
And I remember like when theywere just checking Olivia as you
(22:27):
do a yearly check, you go in, doyour appointments.
I mean, you go, I would never,if the doctor, you know,
checking Olivia and she's doingwhat she needs to do.
And depending if she got neededa injection or whatever, or I
would be crying and the doctorwould say, ma'am, do you need
(22:49):
to, do you need to leave theroom?
You need to get yourselftogether.
Now, how ridiculous is that?
I don't know if you're probablythinking, wow, wow.
And I'm like, That was just meduring that season.
I was so sensitive.
But I surely, if my husband, ifhe was in the same, whatever, if
(23:12):
he was sick and I had to go withhim, which I haven't been to any
appointments, but if I did, I'dbe like, you're fine.
But I am totally the opposite.
I'm like, you'll survive.
Let's move on.
But with her, I'm like, oh, mygoodness.
What am I going to do?
Like, I don't know if you likeme.
(23:35):
And now, am I better?
I am so much better.
So when she's not feeling well,I'm not crying.
And maybe I was crying because Ifelt like there's nothing I
could do for her.
And I was just so upset that I'ma bad mom again.
(23:57):
And I went deep.
I'm like, why my bad mom?
Where did this stem from?
How come I didn't do the signs?
This is all my fault.
See, that's what I mean.
But now when she gets sick, I'mlike, yeah, you're fine.
Just take whatever, blah, blah,blah.
Oh, you need a rest.
Go to sleep.
I mean, I am so much better.
That's what I mean.
After, during these babyseasons, having help, you know,
(24:21):
that's what I'm learning aboutmyself.
I am Oh my goodness, there's somany other things.
But that's what I wanted toshare with you.
I wanted to share with you, yourbaby seasons is different for
everybody.
But I wanted to share what minelooked like.
And I wouldn't change it becauseI absolutely loved it.
(24:43):
I really did love it.
And I want to tell you, Mom, youare doing the best you can with
the time that's given, with theresources you have.
Seriously, and I want to keepsaying that to remind you, like
I totally believe with all myheart that you are an amazing
(25:05):
mom.
And I hope you tell yourself thesame.
I tell myself I am an amazingmom for my child.
I'm an amazing wife for myhusband.
I am the best mom for her and Iam the awesome best wife for my
husband.
You're welcome.
(25:27):
And I say that because I trulyam.
You are truly am.
You are giving your best andyou're giving what you got.
Like you are showing up for yourfamily.
Whether or you made breakfast,you didn't make breakfast.
Whether you're working part-timeor you're staying at home as a
(25:48):
full-time mama.
Okay, we're all full-timemembers, but you know what I
mean.
Or you cleaned the house, youdidn't clean the house.
It's different for everybody,and everybody goes through
different things.
But I wanted to keepencouraging, as you keep
listening to this podcast, youare beautiful.
(26:09):
You are amazing.
And you are wonderfully made.
Like, seriously.
When you look yourself in themirror, Give yourself a high
five and hug your soul.
You're thinking, how can I hugmy soul?
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Do that five times.
(26:29):
Breathe in.
Hold it for a few seconds.
And then breathe out.
Just slow it down.
Look yourself in the mirror andsay, soul, I love you.
Why?
Because you've got to be kind toyourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Say kind things.
(26:50):
You say kind things to yourchild.
You say kind things to yourhusband.
So make sure you say kind thingsto yourself as well.
Okay?
So I am so glad that you arelistening to the Family of One
podcast.
And also, I'm so excited becauseI am still working on my book.
(27:13):
It's called the IcebreakerMiniseries.
So I have been writing a book,and I talked about this a few
episodes ago, that I created abook about periods, and it was
an icebreaker.
It was just to introduce thetopic about periods.
UNKNOWN (27:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (27:35):
How to start the conversation.
Because there are so many thingsout there, like online, in the
library, you know, on Amazon,you name it, books about
periods.
But I was specifically lookingfor an icebreaker book.
Nothing in detail, justintroducing the word periods,
(27:57):
where it came from, what do youdo, just to help you have that
conversation.
Like, Nothing deep, just likeit's a two to three minute read,
probably two minute read.
Because my daughter read it andshe goes, keep it short, mama.
Keep it short, mom.
(28:19):
And it was really for her.
So it's aimed at children toread to parents, their moms or
mom and daughter can read ittogether.
So that's why I created, and Ithought, you know what?
I think I'm going to start anicebreaker miniseries.
So it's really, I'll havedifferent topics and it's going
to be based on lots ofconversations that I have with
(28:40):
Olivia.
What kind of topics, you know,that I just want to have an
icebreaker and talk about.
And then I will start writingthe book.
So I'm still working on that.
If you want to hear more, moreabout it I will put a sample on
the book what it looks like andthen I'll just have like a
waiting list so you can if youwant to order the book later on
(29:05):
I'll make that available And Ialso want to give a big shout
out to my listeners.
Thank you so much for yoursupport from the United States,
especially from Wetago.
I hope I got that right fromConnecticut and Bristol.
And then we got listeners fromJapan, Canada, France, Germany,
(29:27):
United Kingdom, Spain, andAustralia.
I just want to say thank you somuch for listening and tuning in
to each week.
When I release the episode, Ijust want to say thank you so
much.
And please reach out to my fanmail if you have any questions
or send me an email in the linkbelow.
(29:50):
I would just love to connectwith you.
Once again, you've beenlistening to the Family of One
podcast.
This is for your friend.
I will meet you in the nextepisode.
Bye.
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