September 12, 2025 • 53 mins
Episode 210: Vacationing With Teens – How to Stay Connected with Parenting Coach Janine Mushwar Vacationing with teens can be magical—or maddening. In this episode, Rob talks with parenting coach Janine Mushwar about how to move from conflict to connection with your teenager, both at home and while traveling. If you’ve ever felt your teen slipping away, or if vacations bring out more eye-rolls than smiles, this conversation is for you. Janine shares her own journey as a mom of three very different kids and the parenting shifts she had to make when rewards, punishments, and “the old ways” stopped working. Now, as a parenting coach, she helps families find practical strategies to reduce conflict, strengthen communication, and make family trips less stressful and more meaningful. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why vacations with teens can be both magical and challenging
- The importance of shifting your parenting approach during the teenage years
- How to balance teens’ independence with family togetherness on trips
- Tools to de-escalate conflict in the moment (without turning the trip into a battle)
- Why involving teens in the planning process makes a huge difference
- Ways travel can strengthen connection during family transitions—like divorce, blending families, or big moves
- Simple but powerful mindset shifts that help parents prioritize connection over chasing a “perfect” trip
- Visit Janine’s website: JanineMushwar.com
- Follow Janine on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube (@JanineMushwar)
- Connect with The Family Vacationer on Instagram and Substack
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Vacationing with teens can be magical or maddening. Today, we
talk with parenting coach Janine Muschwar about how to truly
connect with your team while traveling. Whether you're planning your
next trip or feeling stuck in the struggle, this episode
is for you. Episode one nine two starts right now.
(00:23):
Welcome to the Family Vacationer with Robin Tracy, your go
to podcast for families on the moon. Hey everyone, and
welcome back to the Family Vacationer. I'm Rob and today's
episode hits a little closer to home for me. I'm
going to be completely honest and transparent with you guys,
(00:44):
as we always are. Hopefully we never come across as
people as a family who has it all together. We
are learning as we go Here, my fifteen year old
and I we're kind of in a tough moment. We're
struggling to connect and as a dad, that's both humbling
and hard. So when we booked this conversation with Janine,
(01:05):
I knew that it was timely, not just for our listeners,
but for me personally. Janine is a parenting coach who
helps families move from conflict to connection, and she's helped
hundreds of parents build stronger relationships with their teens. She
also walks the walk as a mom herself, which makes
her insights all the more relatable. Janine, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Thanks Ron, happy to be here. The title of your
podcast really capture my attention. So yeah, I'm really happy
to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
We're glad to have you. So let's talk about your background,
both as a parenting coach and as a mom. How
was that shaped the way that you help families today.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, it completely shapes how I help families today. It's
like how I ended up in this career right now,
I have three children of my own. They're all young
adults now, and and you know, I took parenting very seriously.
I was excited to be a parent, and honestly, things
went like semi smoothly in the early years. I think
(02:11):
any challenges they came up, I didn't feel blindsided, and
it felt like, oh, I can solve for this and
fix this, and felt pretty effective. And then I got
to the high school years and it wasn't so easy anymore,
and I found that how I was parenting wasn't really
(02:35):
effective now that they were teenagers. So I've got three
really different kids. I think I was really trying to
help my daughter, who was a straight A student, but
put so much pressure on herself to get straight AZED
and she was always coming out going, oh my god,
I want to fail this test, you know, and then
she do well. But what I was noticing as her mom,
(02:57):
is like she puts so much pressure on herself and
would have a lot of anxiety and overwhelm and it
seemed like although like I was compassionate, it was the
what I was doing wasn't really helping her so that
she didn't keep experiencing that right, and so that I
was like, gosh, you know, there's definitely opportunity to hear
(03:19):
for me to learn some new techniques and approaches that
maybe could be a little more effective with parenting. And
then I had a similar experience with my other two.
My my middle child was diagnosed with add and a
learning disability at a young age, and you know, when
he got to the high school years, he just sort
(03:39):
of did this flip from really feeling good about himself
and pretty self confident to feeling like I'm not smart enough,
I'm not athletic enough, you know, kind of all that
negative self talk, and you know, ended up getting in
with a group of kids that weren't a good influence.
And you know, I did what most parents do, is
(04:02):
you know, all the most of the way most of
us know how to parents is through rewards and punishments. Sure,
and that was not working at all. In fact, it
was ruining our relationship. It wasn't helping him, and I
felt him slipping further and further away, which was really scary.
(04:23):
And then my youngest, you know, he's won a COVID kid,
so I know you have two of those yourself. Actually
your daughter as well, if she's twenty three, probably was
on the older site but experienced some of it. Yeah,
and so right, these kids were in the stay at
home school, so they were in their room a lot,
and it was he was video gaming all the time.
(04:44):
And I started thinking, you know, he's you're so lazy,
get up and do something productive, or like you said before,
we hopped on like we want them to maximize their potential. Sure,
and it felt like that wasn't happening. And whatever I
was doing to try to motivate him, let me tell you,
that was not working. So all of that to say,
(05:07):
I thought, you know, what I am. I'm a smart woman,
I am very good at solving problems, and I clearly
don't have the tools or the resources right now to
parent the way I want a parent and really keep
that close connection with my kids. So actually went to
a parenting program with my middle child where we learned
(05:30):
communication techniques and strategies like emotion regulation strategies and our
personal communication strategies, how to tolerate frustration, mindfulness, all these things,
and it really reconnected us and helped give us a
language to talk to each other in a way where
(05:52):
I still had my firm boundaries and my standards, but
I learned how to do that with this heavy dose
of passion for his struggles. And that was really like
this secret sauce that just opened our connection up and
really helped all of us as a family unit together.
(06:12):
And so that's when I thought, gosh, you know, my
quantitative econ major from Stanford isn't really applicable to parenting.
And I'm sure many other people out there feel that way.
And so I went looking for, you know, a way
to help parents when they get to the teenagers, and
(06:33):
I found life coaching and parent coaching, and I thought
this is the perfect modality because I think at first
I was looking at therapy, but this isn't therapy. This
is you know, hey, I just need some communication strategies
and maybe some different approaches and ways to look at
things that really can again in your words, like maximize
(06:57):
my kid's potential or I like to say, I think
we all want to help our children be the best
version of themselves while at the same time keeping that
closeness that we all want.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So, yeah, that's how I kind of ended up being
a parenting coach for moms and dads just like us
with preteens, teens, and young adults.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You mentioned the fact that you felt your child was
slipping away from you, and you know, just again being
fully transparent. A lot of times, a lot of the topical,
you know, episodes that we've done have come out of
me being a cautionary tale more so than somebody who's
got it all together. But that's with my fifteen year old,
(07:40):
that is exactly how I feel. And you know, you
also mentioned how different your kids are and with us.
You know, my daughter, she was easy, I mean, she
was just she was just easy. And then you know,
my middle child came along and he hit his teenage
years and he went from this bubbly fun kid to
(08:02):
you know, having all this angst and you know a
little rebellious, but maybe more so disrespectful. And the way
I grew up, my dad would just shoot me a
look and I would immediately, you know, snap into behavior.
And the first time that that didn't work with my
middle child, I'm grasping at straws, like, I don't you
(08:24):
know what am I doing? Just trying to understand, trying
to relate to him. One of the things that I
was told pretty quickly in the conversation with a child
psychologist was you know, maybe it's not his behavior that
needs to change as much as it's your expectations of
his behavior. And that was that was some medicine I
had to, you know, I had to take that. So
(08:47):
just talking about bringing it back to vacations, vacationing with teenagers,
it's it's this crazy mix of magic mayhem. But from
your experience, what are the most common challenges that parents
are facing when they travel.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
With their team. Well, first of all, I mean, I
know it's your podcast, but I think it's so valuable
that you shared your story because right I'm sure you
saw yourself in my story, and I see myself in
your story, And you know, I do think there's a
lot of things that our generation we get triggered by,
(09:24):
given the fact that it's so different than the way
we grew up, you know, like you know, that level
of disrespect. I remember, you know, my my brothers and
I used to be like, oh you know, there's mom's
stinkye you know, and you fell in line immediately. Oh yeah,
and yeah. So there wasn't a lot of I mean,
they basically parented through rewards and punishments and control and
(09:51):
exerting their power over us. I mean not in a
mean way. It's just all they knew. And so if
we haven't learned anything different, and I think it's perfectly
natural that we're parenting the same way. So to hear
you kind of take in what the child psychologist said
and take some responsibility for your part and the relationship,
(10:15):
it's very admirable. It's very brave, it's very courageous. I
think a lot of parents have a hard time doing that.
Frankly and seeing that, well, you know, I'm in a
relationship here with my child. It's fifty percent fifty percent,
and if I change my approach, it's like it's going
(10:36):
to be inevitable that they respond differently to me. And
so if I can maybe look at the disrespect through
a different lens, like maybe they're overwhelmed by something, or
maybe they're frustrated with something and the words they use
and how they communicate that comes feels disrespectful to us.
(10:57):
But if we can recognize, like, okay, wait, maybe they're
something going on underneath that, right, all of a sudden,
we have a very different conversation going on. Right instead
of you can't talk to me like that, it's like, hey,
what's going on like that? You seem really frustrated right now.
I'm sure you don't intend to be disrespectful to me, Like,
(11:20):
let's talk about what's going on that you're frustrated And
that's not easy. I wanted to kind of double click
on that. It's not easy, but you know you raised it,
and I think it's just it's so calm, it's such
a common thing that I thought was worth just spending
a moment there because I know you and I are
not alone on that raw. No, many many parents feel
(11:42):
that way.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Well, you met, you mentioned you mentioned bravery or it
doesn't feel like any of that. A lot of times
it just it feels like grasping at straws, just trying
trying to figure out what will work, you know, and
it is it is scary when you start to feel
your child pulling away. I mean it's not even when
(12:05):
you're in the middle of it. I think you can
as a parent, you can feel them pulling away. You
know they're pulling away. And yet because of the behavior.
And I'm not somebody that blames my parents for everything.
I'm responsible for my own choices and decisions. But you know,
when you do have certain behavior modeled, you know, it
is it is easy just to fall back into that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So sure you've never been exposed to anything different. So
that's why I'm like, not about beating ourselves up or
beating our parents up. Right, It's like it's just a hey,
we have new information now. Yeah, well, you know, it's
like we've evolved as a society and a culture, and
there's new information out there, and there's approaches where we
(12:48):
can really help our children, especially when they're struggling, struggling
you know, on a very meaning in a meaningful way,
and still maintain that connection and closeness. Yeah, so I
think starting right there is so helpful and just kind
of recognizing that for ourselves, I think can feel very
soothing and calming and recognizing like, oh wait a minute,
(13:13):
I have a lot of control. When they were young,
I could just literally make them do something. But now
that we have teenagers, Okay, I can't do that anymore.
So I have to try a different parenting approach for
the family trip to go well. And so I think
(13:33):
a lot of the struggles that I hear my clients
bring to calls are you know, just teenagers desperately want
to do what they want to do and don't like
being told what to do. And so a lot of
the struggles as parents will say like we're taking this trip,
this is when it is, and there's no trying to
(13:57):
involve the children and the decision or engage them in
a conversation so they feel like they're part of the decision.
So I think a lot of the struggles I see
is kids just for the sake of trying to exert
their independence. You know, we'll push back on family trips. Yeah.
(14:18):
I was just coaching a client this week, who's her
son is ninth going into tenth grade. Now, they were
taking like a once in a lifetime trip to Japan,
and you know, the mom and the dad and the
daughter were all so excited and this, you know, their
son is heading into tenth grade, was like pitching a
(14:39):
fit that he wasn't going. So, you know, I do
think that's sort of the the commonality in the struggle
is that these you know, when our kids become teens,
they want to feel like they have a voice and
their voices being heard and they and we want them
to have some skin in the game that they actually
(15:01):
come on the trips and have a nice time.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Well, I think that leads into into my next question
because I think at the core of the struggle is
that teens are looking for that independence right while as
parents we're trying to we want family togetherness. So how
do you strike that right balance? Is it just letting them,
(15:25):
you know, in on the planning? Is that the secret
sauce is there is are there other ways that you
can strike that balance?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Mm hmm, Yeah, Well, I mean I think there's a
few things you can do, and to start with is
just for you as the parent or us as the
parents to recognize where our child is at right now
that they're a teenager, and to realize, okay, like we're
going to need to shift things here. If we want
(15:55):
to have a fun family trip, right, we're going to
need to shift our approach and not just go plan
something in a vacuum and then demand that they go
and that they be there and they be happy and
they participate. So I think it starts with our own
perspective and kind of I think where a lot of
(16:17):
parents get stuck is like, hey, I'm you know, providing
this amazing trip and they're so ungrateful, and you know,
we kind of go down that path versus recognizing that,
you know, we if our big goal is to take
a family trip and create great family memories and be together,
then I just need to shift how I create that
(16:40):
from the way I used to. Not that there's anything
wrong with me or wrong with my child, it's just
different now. And so if we start just with our
own perspective about it, I thought, honestly, Rob, that's like,
you're more than half the way there to tan yourself
up for a good trip. But other things to do
(17:02):
is you know, you can sit down as a family
and say Hey, you know, it's really important to us
to have like a special family trip together and make
some memories. What's everyone's idea for taking a trip? You know,
so you before you even like decide what you're doing,
engage everyone in the conversation. Have everyone participating. Even though
(17:27):
you might not do their idea, they feel like they're
part of the discussion.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, I feel like you uncovered one of the traps
that parents fall into. And I'm as guilty as anyone else.
And it's, you know, based on how much we're spending,
our expectations go higher and hire when the dollar amount
goes higher, and hire. And that's not really fair to
the kids who don't understand the concepts of money, like
(17:55):
like an adult wood And I feel like that's something
that we fall into all the time. Well, I'm spending
all this money, so by golly, we're going to get
some incredible family memories. And it just doesn't it just
doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, right, because the kids don't understand the context of
the money and how hard you work to make the
money to provide a family trip like that. It was
just like the client I mentioned earlier, like Japan, that's
a huge huge, expensive trip. Sure, but the child felt
(18:32):
like child whatever. Her son rising tenth grader like felt
like he had no skin in the game, you know,
and he was just focused on everything he was leaving
behind for the week, his girlfriend, his friends, versus all
the things fun things that could be happening. So if
you involve them in the conversation from the beginning, you
(18:55):
are you know, you're setting yourself up for a more
successful time. And again just to recognize, I'm not saying
you have to do the vacation that they suggest, it's
just let's make it part of the conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, give them feedback and the trip.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Yeah. Another thing that I think it can really impact
that the cooperation of your kids coming on the trip
and the gratefulness is thinking about what kind of trip
is good for them or that they would enjoy and
not just what you would enjoy. Right. So, for example,
(19:37):
I love going to a new country and meeting people
from a different culture, or going to a different state
and meeting people from a different culture and experiencing different
food and going to their museums or you know, I
really enjoy that. But you know, a couple of my kids,
they were much more into adventurous, thanks, right, And so
(20:03):
it's kind of recognizing like, gosh, well if I plan
a cultural trip, you know, to Washington, d C. Or
I remember I did one through Boston where I thought
it'd be so cool, you know, Quincy Hall, Faniel Market,
go see where the Boston tea party are, like great
American culture and history. But if that doesn't seem fun
(20:26):
to them, they're going to resist the whole time.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
So again I'm not saying you can't take that trip,
but you want to be mindful as to what they
like and make it a balance of activities. So have
some for my kids, it needs to have some adventure
activities along with it. So I remember, like one area
(20:51):
or one city we were in, we rented segues. Okay, right,
so they're on the segue. They're using their body, right,
So instead of a walking tour, we did a segue tour,
you know. So just kind of thinking about how can
I incorporate some things that my child really enjoys into
this trip. And also I just want to say like
(21:13):
it's not all on you either, Like you can ask
your child, you know, like, hey, if we were to
take a family trip to Boston, what might be a
few things that you would enjoy doing. Right. So I'm
not saying you have to be a pushover or do
everything they want, but we do need to include them
(21:33):
in the discussion if you want to have a good.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Time, and that can actually be fun when you're researching
a city with your child, look at different things, show
them this or that, and get them kind of it's
just a way to get them excited. I totally agree
with that. Well, yeah, absolutely, let's okay, so we involve
them in the planning.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
We are on the trip now, though, and we are
in the middle of conflict. What are some quick tools.
Let's see if we can build a toolbox for parents
when the teen is in full conflict mode on the trip,
how can we de escalate. I'm not saying it's like
a hostage negotiation, but it might be close. What are
(22:20):
some tools that we can What are some tools we
can put in the toolbox for parents?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah? I love that. Okay, So I think the first
tool in the toolbox is actually a tool before you
leave the trip.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I think the more you can have conversations beforehand about
what you're expecting or what you're hoping for, you're gonna
set yourself up for success. So let's take like one
of the hot topics with all of us parents with preteens, teens,
and young adults phones. Right, you're on a family trip,
(22:54):
they can't get their face out of the phone. So
right away, a tool in your toolbox is, let's have
a talk about that before we go on the trip. Yeah,
and not a talk where we're just lecturing and making demands,
but again we're including them in the decision. So you
might want to say something like, Hey, you know, Dad
(23:17):
and I are super excited about this trip and spending
family time together and talking to each other. I'm just curious.
I know you really like being on your phone and
that's how you stay in touch with your friends. I'm
just curious, like, how much time do you think is
reasonable to be on your phone during the trip. So
(23:37):
you're engaging them ahead of time and getting an answer,
and then with that answer if that's not acceptable to you. Right,
Let's say they say four hours, you know, and you're thinking, God,
I was thinking like one hour max, right, I mean,
then you can say back like, oh, you know, I
was really hoping like maybe just one hour before bed,
(24:01):
Like do you think we can meet in the middle somewhere, right,
So you're setting the trip up for success before you've
even left. So I think that's huge.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
When you do that and then you're in the moment
of heightened conflict or a fight or a struggle, if
you've set it up beforehand, you can then calmly say like, hey,
you know, honey, we had an agreement that we were
going to just use our phones, you know, one hour
before bed or whatever your family's agreement was. There's no
(24:36):
right or wrong here, sure, right, but you can reference
back to that and then say, you know, you seem
to be struggling with holding to that agreement. What's going on?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
For all we know, maybe they say something like, well,
my best friend just got an accident. I'm trying to
find out what happened, right, Yeah, and then all of
a sudden you're like, oh, oh, well of course you
can be on your phone. Is he okay? It completely
changes the conversation.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So notice one of the tools I'm using is really
trying to be well a few tools. One is calm
and not reactive when I'm feeling triggered, right, because if
there's a conflict or a struggle. Usually I'm triggered by
their behavior. Sure, So first is I have to get
(25:25):
my own self to like take a breath, you know,
give yourself a second to like like flush some of
that anger out. And then you want to approach them
with a curious question, right, like, hey, what's going on there?
We had this agreement and I see you're struggling to
keep it, Like what's going on? Right? So really, I
(25:48):
think the tool of curiosity and asking like open ended
what questions, coupled with from a very calm play is
really some wonderful tools you can have in your back pocket.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So when you talk about parents showing up with clarity
and intention, what does that look like when you're planning
a family vacation.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, so when you go to planet, you know, I
recommend like find something your family enjoys doing together. I mean,
we had family dinner together a couple of nights a week,
so that was always a great chance to talk. But
whatever you do in your family when you're all together,
is you know, approach it. You know, when I say
(26:39):
you know with intention, it's like have the intention that hey,
I I really want to have a beautiful family trip
together and make memories. And so my intention is that
we tee this up so everyone's excited about it, and Okay,
maybe your teenager isn't happy, but they're willing, you know,
(27:00):
to go with a semi nice attitude. And so yeah,
when I talk about clarity and intention, it's just having
that intention and said, you know, setting up your conversation
really keeping in your mind, what's your big picture goal here?
And if my big picture goal is to have a smooth,
(27:21):
fun trip where everyone's enjoying themselves now that they're teenagers,
needs to be more of a collaboration.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, And I think mindset is for the parents something
I've learned the hard way. One of the first things
along this journey as we've done this podcast was, you know,
being given the realization that a family vacation isn't a
vacation from family, right it is. It's basically a family
(27:54):
field trip. And so, you know, I think from a
parent standpoint, making sure that we're in the right mindset
and understanding that. For example, when I go to the beach,
my idea of a good time is getting in the
ocean and floating. That's the entirety of my agenda. Rights
(28:16):
that's my idea of a good time. What took me
way too long to realize is that while I'm floating
in the ocean having my little Mary time, my wife
is on the beach having to watch the little guys,
you know, and the little guys are wanting my attention,
wanting me to be involved with what they're doing, and
(28:38):
so it just creates conflict there because I wasn't in
the right mindset. And so I think that's I think
that's tough for parents to you know, because we do
work hard. We all work hard, and when we go
on vacation, we have our expectations, but a family vacation
is mingling all those expectations into one.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well yeah, no, I mean that's such a good point.
It's you know, and it's like, the fact is is
we chose to have these kids, and we have we
don't have a lot of years with them, and we
do have a lot of years hopefully after they leave,
and you know, it might be a few years in
there where we're doing things that are more you know
(29:22):
that that we have to make sure that we're setting
it up for success by doing things that they enjoy
doing as well, and maybe saving those trips you know,
for when they're not around anymore, where you can just
go float in the ocean by yourself for a lot
of a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Let's talk about families that are going through big transitions.
You know, families evolve, things change, Families that are going
through things like divorce, moving to a new city, or
a blended family. How can travel play a role in
building connections.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
M Yeah, that's a great question. I have a few
clients who are single moms and we actually had some
of these conversations, you know, as they were heading into
summer and yeah, just you know this one mom has
two boys and they're teenagers, and it was you know,
(30:21):
she sat down with them and said, hey, you know,
I really want to spend some time with you guys
this summer, and I'd love to plan a trip. And
what's what sounds fun like, let's brainstorm together, and you know,
they ended up coming up with completely, to her surprise,
jaw dropping Disney World and they're I think they're fifteen
(30:42):
and seventeen. So she was shocked. And yeah, and then
we just we you know, I helped her come up
with the plan of having these conversations ahead of time
about what her intentions were about the trip and what
she really wanted out of the trip, you know, to
have time to just spend with each other and detach
from their phones and their devices, and to have fun
(31:05):
together and do fun things. And yeah, they ended up
going really smoothly, and she said it was such a
bonding experience that she I guess it hadn't been in
the past, But I think that intention we were talking
about that planning ahead of time, involving them in the conversation.
(31:27):
You know, it works beautifully whether you have a blended family,
or you're a single parent, or you're in some sort
of transition. I think one of the places we so
often get stuck, rob is that we're thinking a bunch
of stuff, but we don't communicate it to our kids.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I think that's true.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And yeah, and that makes sense because we didn't really
need to do that when they were little, right, But
it's recognizing now and again, whether you're in a huge
transition or a blended family or your single parent. It's
like the more we can almost like take what's going
on in our mind and share it in a nice
(32:10):
kind way and share our desires and our hopes for
these trips, the more your teens kind of come around
and feel like, oh, mom's treating me like a young
adult here and right, and she's telling me what she
thinks and feels and is including me in the conversation.
And as soon as your teenager feels that kind of
(32:33):
respect coming from you, right, that you think they're capable
of participating in the conversation, that you believe they have
value to offer in the conversation, you're immediately going to
get a lot of that attitude that starts to subside.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah, and I think I think another trap that parents
all into me included. You know, we're bad about looking
on Instagram, right, and we see that perfect picture of
a perfect trip. Well, we don't see what's going on
behind the scenes exactly, you know, we don't see the
(33:15):
kid that's all day has been crying, didn't want to
get into the blue shirt that you wanted everybody into,
And we don't see all that. We just see this
perfect picture, and that's we have this ideal vision of
what a trip is supposed to look like. And one
of the things that we've talked about on the show
many times is ditching the whole idea of the perfect trip.
(33:39):
There is no such thing. Now, how do we as parents?
And you've talked about some of the ways, and it
may you may just be repeating yourself, and if you are,
I think that's fine because maybe I need to hear
it again. But what's a piece of advice that you'd
give parents to to help us prioritize that connection over
(34:00):
this perfect trip adeal that's in our head?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
M hm, yeah, Well, I think I love that you
said there is no perfect trip. I think that right there,
it just changes sort of our expectations of how it's
going to go. And I would add to that as well.
You know, there is no perfect parent either, there is
no perfect way to parent, right, It's like we're all
(34:27):
just doing our best out here and you know, trying
the best we can. And so I'm sorry, what was
your question again?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Just how do we prioritize connection over that adeal in
our head of what a perfect trip should look like?
It's really a mindset battle. I think for parents it
is for.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Me anyway, Oh for me too, for sure. I mean connection.
You know, people feel connected to one another when we
feel understood, and so I think it's so often our
teenagers say to us, right, you don't understand, you don't
(35:11):
get it, you don't know right, And we're hearing these phrases.
It's basically code language for I'm feeling like my mom
doesn't get what's going on for me right now. And
so if you want to beef up that connection, right,
if you want, I think we all want that feeling
(35:32):
of feeling close to our kids, you know, feeling like, oh,
my kids go to person, you know, when they have
a win and when they're struggling. If that's what you
really want, it's you're going to get that more quickly
if you slow down and you really try to understand
(35:53):
what's going on for them. Right So, if they're you know,
pitching a fit about you know whatever heading out to
the Animal Kingdom, you know, instead of saying like, hey,
we agreed to this trip before we left, and I've
spent a lot of money and you know, and you're
(36:13):
going and all of which is true, it just doesn't
help in terms of your connection or to motivate them
to go and cooperate. And so instead of the conversation
I just laid out, which you know, I'm definitely guilty
of and I think is very natural reaction that parents
(36:35):
have if you can slow yourself down and say like, hey,
you know, actually we actually talked about this and you
really wanted to go to you know, Disney World and
the Animal Kingdom, Like what, what's what changed this morning? Right?
What's what's different? And really trying to uncover, like what
(36:57):
what is the where is the attitude coming from? Right?
There's something going on insight of them. There's something they're
thinking or something that they're feeling that's causing them to say,
I don't want to do that. Even though you're thinking,
why wouldn't you want to do that? That's going to
be so fun? You actually said you wanted to do
it two days ago. I'm really confused and I already
(37:20):
spent the money and bought the tickets. Right, So if
we and I'm not saying this is easy. This stuff
is not easy, but it's effective. So if we just
slow ourselves down and prioritize that connection and try to understand, Okay,
so what's going on, like what are they thinking about
or what's come up with? What are they feeling that's
(37:43):
causing them to not want to participate and be a
part here? And why are they like in front of
my eyes trying to separate and disconnect from the family.
So it's that piece of really trying to slow down
and understand and then like having compassion for that for
whatever they're going through, because once we do that, rob,
(38:06):
once we understand the real reason they don't want to go,
Like maybe they're feeling like, oh, well, all of my
friends are getting on some video game at twelve o'clock
and I have to be home to do that or
I'm going to feel left out. Yeah, it's not that
you have to change your plans. But what will help
you with that connection with your teenager and help motivate
(38:29):
them to come along is if they feel like you
understand their desire to stay back and play the game
and have some compassion for that, that will release, like
for them, some of the grip on wanting to stay behind,
and it'll soften them and they'll be more cooperative to
(38:52):
come if they feel like, Okay, well mom really gets me,
Mom understands me, like she's on my side, right, because
you shown that compassion for the conflict going on inside
of them.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, And I think earlier in the conversation you mentioned
as a parent just taking a breath, I think at
Disney in particular, because I am one of those. I'm
a planner, Okay, so you know I've got our day
planned out. We actually did a podcast with each of
our children not too long ago, and when my daughter
(39:29):
was on, she mentioned how when she was younger that
used to chafe her, you know, just that we were
so you know, planned, the whole day was planned out,
and it was just rigid and this is what we're
going to do next. And I think there have been
quite a few moments where it would have been necessary
(39:52):
for me just to take a breath and realize, wait
a minute, am I sacrificing connection in the quest for
this perfect trip? Or because I've spent this much money,
and you know, am I chasing that perfect trip at
the cost of a connection? So all that resonates very
(40:12):
very deeply.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Oh yeah, and I'm glad you mentioned that because I
am a planner as well. And one thing I learned
I wish I had learned it sooner. But one thing
I learned when my kids were late teens is a
couple of them aren't that way. Yeah, And so when
I create a trip, that's like something's booked every minute
(40:37):
of the day and we're go, go go. It's inevitable
that one of my kids is going to be unhappy
and voice it, voice his anger frustration, and it's probably
going to come out in a way that feels really
disrespectful and ungrateful. But just to recognize, like as your
daughter said, you know, we're all different, and not everybody
(41:02):
you know likes to be Some people need more downtime
than others. Sure, and although you know you might not,
or I might not, one or two of our kids might.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Well, there's there's irony involved here because she also later
in the podcast said as she's gotten older, she's become
that planner. So and then me, I'm to the point
where when it comes to going to to Disney. You know,
we love Disney as a family. We love going. Our
(41:34):
kids have always loved going, regardless of their age. But
it's changed for me because I can't do the rope
drop to fireworks deal anymore. I just physically can't do it. So,
you know, it's kind of changed my perspective on that
particular vacation, you know, and others. As I mentioned, you know,
we all know that that things, of all things change.
(41:56):
Parents get older, so the family vacation is going to change.
So for parents that are in the middle of feeling
burned out, maybe aside from vacations for a second, because
as we've talked about this is this is a topic
for me that you know hits home. But if there's
(42:16):
a parent listing that's in the middle of just feeling
burnt out or feeling disconnected, feeling like their kids slipped
away or slipping away, as we talked about, I always say,
like I tell my kids, if you're in a situation
where you don't know which way is up, you don't
know what the next right decision might be, take a
(42:37):
small step. You know, is there something small that you
know is the right thing, Well, just do that. Do
that until you know the broader, bigger decisions come to you.
Is there one small step that a parent can take,
you know, traveling or at home to start rebuilding that
bond with their team.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Yeah, you know, there's lots of different things that you
can try. I'll offer a couple here. I think the
most underutilized small step that any parent can do is
to resist that urge to talk to them in the
(43:17):
moment when you're feeling emotionally reactive. That's really hard to do.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yes, yes, but it's really.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Effective if you can just notice that you're about to
lose it, right or you're about to roll in with
some lecture, or you're about to tell them why they're
wrong or what they should be doing. Instead, you can
just catch that and just take a step like zip
it for a second, and you know, and like we
(43:53):
talked about earlier, like maybe just take a few deep breaths,
because when they do something like let's say they you know,
you find out they're missing ten assignments, and you probably
go through a whole, you know, host of emotions. You're
probably angry at first, and then you're frustrated, and then
(44:15):
you're thinking what's wrong with you? You're on your phone
all the time, and then you're worried about how that's
going to impact, you know, the great and the class.
So as a parent, you're going through this huge range
of emotions with a teenager quite often anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, rejection,
(44:37):
her disrespects. I mean, I could go on and on
right and so just to recognize like, okay, wait, I'm
feeling I'm feeling very triggered right now, and so I'm
just going to try to take a second and stop
and pause and take a few breasts. Anyone can do that.
(44:58):
We all have access to our breath at any moment,
and just taking it's like research shows us by just
taking a few deep breaths, it can help reset our
nervous systems, so we're not those emotions aren't so heightened
and so intense that what comes out of our mouth
(45:23):
feels very, very difficult for our teenagers to receive and
to speak back to you in a way that's going
to be helpful or productive in any way. So with
all the coaching I do, I feel like this is
the most powerful tool we have, and it's the most
(45:43):
underutilized tool because it requires a lot from us and
it requires our child to do nothing, and that tends
to tell our human mind that it's not going to work.
Like the only thing that's going to work is if
I go fix the situation.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
That sounds familiar.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah, So I think it sounds so simple, and I
feel like you hear it a lot, But it's like stop,
pause and breathe, Like resist that urge to respond to
them in the moment when you're feeling triggered by their disrespect,
their rudeness, their failing grades, their messy room, hitting their
(46:31):
sibling on their phone on the time. I mean, I
could go on and on, right, I think there's a
lot of stuff that triggers a lot of us.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Do you have a camera in my home? I feel
like you have a camera in my home. I'm a
little creeked out now.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Oh well, that's because I know it firsthand with my
own self and my children. So I will offer one
other thing that a tool you can have in your
toolbox that if you you just take whatever you want
to say, and you take a second and you think
(47:08):
to yourself, how can I say this starting with the
word what right? So you need to do the dishes?
Like what's going on about the dishes? Just like it
can be as simple as that, right or right there
(47:31):
being disrespectful and you want to say you can't talk
to me like that, right? You just like turn that
around into what's what's going on? Right? It's it's it
just slows you down, which gives you a moment to regroup.
And then I think, I don't know about you, but
(47:51):
a common thing with my husband and I was to
you know, for lack of a bord lecture, or we
thought we were giving advice and we're really smart, We've
got great advice. The only problem is our teenagers usually
aren't interested in hearing it. So it's like, if you
have advice to give, or you've noticed yourself falling into
(48:14):
a lecture, ask yourself, Okay, how can whatever I want
to say? How can I start this question with the
word what and ask a curious question instead of telling
them what to do? So just that leading with curiosity
and trying to start your sentences with what it can
(48:39):
be really really a shift because what happens is your
child all of a sudden feels like, oh, Mom's interested
in what I have to say, and that helps the
irols subside, the slam doors subside, the attitude subside, right,
(48:59):
because they want to feel like you think they're capable, Yeah, right,
that you believe in them, and that you recognize that
they're now a young adult and you're offering them another
level of respect that wasn't there when they were little.
(49:23):
And I know that's hard to do sometimes when they're
being little brats, but when you can do that, you'll
notice that the behavi unwanted behavior will start to subside.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Well, Jany I talked about taking my medicine. I feel
like I've taken a little bit tonight as well. But
this has been incredibly insightful, incredibly helpful. Thank you for
these practical tools and for the empathy. That's that's one
thing I am trying to teach my boys that you
know can be difficult in the world that we live in.
(49:58):
But thank you for bringing empathy into the conversation. Where
can our listeners find you and learn more about your work?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me on rob It's been
so fun talking to you. And I'm a big I
love family trips and I've definitely had resistant teenagers, so
it's such a fun topic. But yeah, if you want
to learn more about me, the best place to go
is my website, which is janinemuschwar dot com. I imagine
(50:26):
you put that in the show notes so I don't
have to spell my complicated names.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
I will have it.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
I'm also on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn, and I've
been doing for the last six months or so, like
short ten minute videos on a topic and putting them
on YouTube. So you can find me there at Janinemuchwar
or a myight fandor Janine the parenting coach. Okay, if yeah,
(50:55):
just if you're like, oh, I got ten minutes, I'm
going to go listen to a little snippet and I
usually take one of these topics and kind of do
just a ten minute deep dive, and really, I always
always love to make it actionable so you can walk
away with something practical that you can try.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Fantastic. Well, we will definitely be watching that YouTube channel
for all of your little ten minute snippets because I
have a feeling that I'm yeah, I have a feeling
I'll need them. So Jannine, thank you so much for
your time and coming on the show.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Oh you're welcome, Rob, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Make sure and check out Janine's work and her resources.
Whether you're deep in the teen years or you're just
starting to think ahead, and if this episode hit home
for you, know that you're not alone. Before we wrap up,
I want to give you guys a sneak peek at
something I've been working on. Oh boy, it's a book
(51:52):
that pulls together some of the most powerful lessons and
stories that we've shared here on The Family Vacationer still
in the works, but my hope is that It will
give you, guys, practical tools and real life inspiration to
make travel a deeper and more meaningful part of your
family life. So stay tuned for more details in the
months ahead. We're also working towards our two hundredth episode,
(52:16):
two hundred episodes. We've got some cool surprises around that,
so make sure you stay tuned. All kinds of fun,
cool things going on with a family vacationer, So don't
forget to subscribe and follow us on Instagram and substack
for more conversations like this. Remember, folks, keep your passports
and your heart's open. Safe travels everyone.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I've got it.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
All the places in the hotel stasis.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I'm using the buck rides and lot of sides, mountain
ranges and see mental changes.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
I'm lead to serve on the ferry vacationers. I've got
skin full on other beach places and hotel spaces, amusement
park rides and waterslides, mountain ranges.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
This seasonal changes
Vacationing with teens can be magical or maddening. Today, we
talk with parenting coach Janine Muschwar about how to truly
connect with your team while traveling. Whether you're planning your
next trip or feeling stuck in the struggle, this episode
is for you. Episode one nine two starts right now.
(00:23):
Welcome to the Family Vacationer with Robin Tracy, your go
to podcast for families on the moon. Hey everyone, and
welcome back to the Family Vacationer. I'm Rob and today's
episode hits a little closer to home for me. I'm
going to be completely honest and transparent with you guys,
(00:44):
as we always are. Hopefully we never come across as
people as a family who has it all together. We
are learning as we go Here, my fifteen year old
and I we're kind of in a tough moment. We're
struggling to connect and as a dad, that's both humbling
and hard. So when we booked this conversation with Janine,
(01:05):
I knew that it was timely, not just for our listeners,
but for me personally. Janine is a parenting coach who
helps families move from conflict to connection, and she's helped
hundreds of parents build stronger relationships with their teens. She
also walks the walk as a mom herself, which makes
her insights all the more relatable. Janine, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Thanks Ron, happy to be here. The title of your
podcast really capture my attention. So yeah, I'm really happy
to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
We're glad to have you. So let's talk about your background,
both as a parenting coach and as a mom. How
was that shaped the way that you help families today.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, it completely shapes how I help families today. It's
like how I ended up in this career right now,
I have three children of my own. They're all young
adults now, and and you know, I took parenting very seriously.
I was excited to be a parent, and honestly, things
went like semi smoothly in the early years. I think
(02:11):
any challenges they came up, I didn't feel blindsided, and
it felt like, oh, I can solve for this and
fix this, and felt pretty effective. And then I got
to the high school years and it wasn't so easy anymore,
and I found that how I was parenting wasn't really
(02:35):
effective now that they were teenagers. So I've got three
really different kids. I think I was really trying to
help my daughter, who was a straight A student, but
put so much pressure on herself to get straight AZED
and she was always coming out going, oh my god,
I want to fail this test, you know, and then
she do well. But what I was noticing as her mom,
(02:57):
is like she puts so much pressure on herself and
would have a lot of anxiety and overwhelm and it
seemed like although like I was compassionate, it was the
what I was doing wasn't really helping her so that
she didn't keep experiencing that right, and so that I
was like, gosh, you know, there's definitely opportunity to hear
(03:19):
for me to learn some new techniques and approaches that
maybe could be a little more effective with parenting. And
then I had a similar experience with my other two.
My my middle child was diagnosed with add and a
learning disability at a young age, and you know, when
he got to the high school years, he just sort
(03:39):
of did this flip from really feeling good about himself
and pretty self confident to feeling like I'm not smart enough,
I'm not athletic enough, you know, kind of all that
negative self talk, and you know, ended up getting in
with a group of kids that weren't a good influence.
And you know, I did what most parents do, is
(04:02):
you know, all the most of the way most of
us know how to parents is through rewards and punishments. Sure,
and that was not working at all. In fact, it
was ruining our relationship. It wasn't helping him, and I
felt him slipping further and further away, which was really scary.
(04:23):
And then my youngest, you know, he's won a COVID kid,
so I know you have two of those yourself. Actually
your daughter as well, if she's twenty three, probably was
on the older site but experienced some of it. Yeah,
and so right, these kids were in the stay at
home school, so they were in their room a lot,
and it was he was video gaming all the time.
(04:44):
And I started thinking, you know, he's you're so lazy,
get up and do something productive, or like you said before,
we hopped on like we want them to maximize their potential. Sure,
and it felt like that wasn't happening. And whatever I
was doing to try to motivate him, let me tell you,
that was not working. So all of that to say,
(05:07):
I thought, you know, what I am. I'm a smart woman,
I am very good at solving problems, and I clearly
don't have the tools or the resources right now to
parent the way I want a parent and really keep
that close connection with my kids. So actually went to
a parenting program with my middle child where we learned
(05:30):
communication techniques and strategies like emotion regulation strategies and our
personal communication strategies, how to tolerate frustration, mindfulness, all these things,
and it really reconnected us and helped give us a
language to talk to each other in a way where
(05:52):
I still had my firm boundaries and my standards, but
I learned how to do that with this heavy dose
of passion for his struggles. And that was really like
this secret sauce that just opened our connection up and
really helped all of us as a family unit together.
(06:12):
And so that's when I thought, gosh, you know, my
quantitative econ major from Stanford isn't really applicable to parenting.
And I'm sure many other people out there feel that way.
And so I went looking for, you know, a way
to help parents when they get to the teenagers, and
(06:33):
I found life coaching and parent coaching, and I thought
this is the perfect modality because I think at first
I was looking at therapy, but this isn't therapy. This
is you know, hey, I just need some communication strategies
and maybe some different approaches and ways to look at
things that really can again in your words, like maximize
(06:57):
my kid's potential or I like to say, I think
we all want to help our children be the best
version of themselves while at the same time keeping that
closeness that we all want.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
So, yeah, that's how I kind of ended up being
a parenting coach for moms and dads just like us
with preteens, teens, and young adults.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You mentioned the fact that you felt your child was
slipping away from you, and you know, just again being
fully transparent. A lot of times, a lot of the topical,
you know, episodes that we've done have come out of
me being a cautionary tale more so than somebody who's
got it all together. But that's with my fifteen year old,
(07:40):
that is exactly how I feel. And you know, you
also mentioned how different your kids are and with us.
You know, my daughter, she was easy, I mean, she
was just she was just easy. And then you know,
my middle child came along and he hit his teenage
years and he went from this bubbly fun kid to
(08:02):
you know, having all this angst and you know a
little rebellious, but maybe more so disrespectful. And the way
I grew up, my dad would just shoot me a
look and I would immediately, you know, snap into behavior.
And the first time that that didn't work with my
middle child, I'm grasping at straws, like, I don't you
(08:24):
know what am I doing? Just trying to understand, trying
to relate to him. One of the things that I
was told pretty quickly in the conversation with a child
psychologist was you know, maybe it's not his behavior that
needs to change as much as it's your expectations of
his behavior. And that was that was some medicine I
had to, you know, I had to take that. So
(08:47):
just talking about bringing it back to vacations, vacationing with teenagers,
it's it's this crazy mix of magic mayhem. But from
your experience, what are the most common challenges that parents
are facing when they travel.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
With their team. Well, first of all, I mean, I
know it's your podcast, but I think it's so valuable
that you shared your story because right I'm sure you
saw yourself in my story, and I see myself in
your story, And you know, I do think there's a
lot of things that our generation we get triggered by,
(09:24):
given the fact that it's so different than the way
we grew up, you know, like you know, that level
of disrespect. I remember, you know, my my brothers and
I used to be like, oh you know, there's mom's
stinkye you know, and you fell in line immediately. Oh yeah,
and yeah. So there wasn't a lot of I mean,
they basically parented through rewards and punishments and control and
(09:51):
exerting their power over us. I mean not in a
mean way. It's just all they knew. And so if
we haven't learned anything different, and I think it's perfectly
natural that we're parenting the same way. So to hear
you kind of take in what the child psychologist said
and take some responsibility for your part and the relationship,
(10:15):
it's very admirable. It's very brave, it's very courageous. I
think a lot of parents have a hard time doing that.
Frankly and seeing that, well, you know, I'm in a
relationship here with my child. It's fifty percent fifty percent,
and if I change my approach, it's like it's going
(10:36):
to be inevitable that they respond differently to me. And
so if I can maybe look at the disrespect through
a different lens, like maybe they're overwhelmed by something, or
maybe they're frustrated with something and the words they use
and how they communicate that comes feels disrespectful to us.
(10:57):
But if we can recognize, like, okay, wait, maybe they're
something going on underneath that, right, all of a sudden,
we have a very different conversation going on. Right instead
of you can't talk to me like that, it's like, hey,
what's going on like that? You seem really frustrated right now.
I'm sure you don't intend to be disrespectful to me, Like,
(11:20):
let's talk about what's going on that you're frustrated And
that's not easy. I wanted to kind of double click
on that. It's not easy, but you know you raised it,
and I think it's just it's so calm, it's such
a common thing that I thought was worth just spending
a moment there because I know you and I are
not alone on that raw. No, many many parents feel
(11:42):
that way.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Well, you met, you mentioned you mentioned bravery or it
doesn't feel like any of that. A lot of times
it just it feels like grasping at straws, just trying
trying to figure out what will work, you know, and
it is it is scary when you start to feel
your child pulling away. I mean it's not even when
(12:05):
you're in the middle of it. I think you can
as a parent, you can feel them pulling away. You
know they're pulling away. And yet because of the behavior.
And I'm not somebody that blames my parents for everything.
I'm responsible for my own choices and decisions. But you know,
when you do have certain behavior modeled, you know, it
is it is easy just to fall back into that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So sure you've never been exposed to anything different. So
that's why I'm like, not about beating ourselves up or
beating our parents up. Right, It's like it's just a hey,
we have new information now. Yeah, well, you know, it's
like we've evolved as a society and a culture, and
there's new information out there, and there's approaches where we
(12:48):
can really help our children, especially when they're struggling, struggling
you know, on a very meaning in a meaningful way,
and still maintain that connection and closeness. Yeah, so I
think starting right there is so helpful and just kind
of recognizing that for ourselves, I think can feel very
soothing and calming and recognizing like, oh wait a minute,
(13:13):
I have a lot of control. When they were young,
I could just literally make them do something. But now
that we have teenagers, Okay, I can't do that anymore.
So I have to try a different parenting approach for
the family trip to go well. And so I think
(13:33):
a lot of the struggles that I hear my clients
bring to calls are you know, just teenagers desperately want
to do what they want to do and don't like
being told what to do. And so a lot of
the struggles as parents will say like we're taking this trip,
this is when it is, and there's no trying to
(13:57):
involve the children and the decision or engage them in
a conversation so they feel like they're part of the decision.
So I think a lot of the struggles I see
is kids just for the sake of trying to exert
their independence. You know, we'll push back on family trips. Yeah.
(14:18):
I was just coaching a client this week, who's her
son is ninth going into tenth grade. Now, they were
taking like a once in a lifetime trip to Japan,
and you know, the mom and the dad and the
daughter were all so excited and this, you know, their
son is heading into tenth grade, was like pitching a
(14:39):
fit that he wasn't going. So, you know, I do
think that's sort of the the commonality in the struggle
is that these you know, when our kids become teens,
they want to feel like they have a voice and
their voices being heard and they and we want them
to have some skin in the game that they actually
(15:01):
come on the trips and have a nice time.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Well, I think that leads into into my next question
because I think at the core of the struggle is
that teens are looking for that independence right while as
parents we're trying to we want family togetherness. So how
do you strike that right balance? Is it just letting them,
(15:25):
you know, in on the planning? Is that the secret
sauce is there is are there other ways that you
can strike that balance?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Mm hmm, Yeah, Well, I mean I think there's a
few things you can do, and to start with is
just for you as the parent or us as the
parents to recognize where our child is at right now
that they're a teenager, and to realize, okay, like we're
going to need to shift things here. If we want
(15:55):
to have a fun family trip, right, we're going to
need to shift our approach and not just go plan
something in a vacuum and then demand that they go
and that they be there and they be happy and
they participate. So I think it starts with our own
perspective and kind of I think where a lot of
(16:17):
parents get stuck is like, hey, I'm you know, providing
this amazing trip and they're so ungrateful, and you know,
we kind of go down that path versus recognizing that,
you know, we if our big goal is to take
a family trip and create great family memories and be together,
then I just need to shift how I create that
(16:40):
from the way I used to. Not that there's anything
wrong with me or wrong with my child, it's just
different now. And so if we start just with our
own perspective about it, I thought, honestly, Rob, that's like,
you're more than half the way there to tan yourself
up for a good trip. But other things to do
(17:02):
is you know, you can sit down as a family
and say Hey, you know, it's really important to us
to have like a special family trip together and make
some memories. What's everyone's idea for taking a trip? You know,
so you before you even like decide what you're doing,
engage everyone in the conversation. Have everyone participating. Even though
(17:27):
you might not do their idea, they feel like they're
part of the discussion.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, I feel like you uncovered one of the traps
that parents fall into. And I'm as guilty as anyone else.
And it's, you know, based on how much we're spending,
our expectations go higher and hire when the dollar amount
goes higher, and hire. And that's not really fair to
the kids who don't understand the concepts of money, like
(17:55):
like an adult wood And I feel like that's something
that we fall into all the time. Well, I'm spending
all this money, so by golly, we're going to get
some incredible family memories. And it just doesn't it just
doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, right, because the kids don't understand the context of
the money and how hard you work to make the
money to provide a family trip like that. It was
just like the client I mentioned earlier, like Japan, that's
a huge huge, expensive trip. Sure, but the child felt
(18:32):
like child whatever. Her son rising tenth grader like felt
like he had no skin in the game, you know,
and he was just focused on everything he was leaving
behind for the week, his girlfriend, his friends, versus all
the things fun things that could be happening. So if
you involve them in the conversation from the beginning, you
(18:55):
are you know, you're setting yourself up for a more
successful time. And again just to recognize, I'm not saying
you have to do the vacation that they suggest, it's
just let's make it part of the conversation.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, give them feedback and the trip.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Yeah. Another thing that I think it can really impact
that the cooperation of your kids coming on the trip
and the gratefulness is thinking about what kind of trip
is good for them or that they would enjoy and
not just what you would enjoy. Right. So, for example,
(19:37):
I love going to a new country and meeting people
from a different culture, or going to a different state
and meeting people from a different culture and experiencing different
food and going to their museums or you know, I
really enjoy that. But you know, a couple of my kids,
they were much more into adventurous, thanks, right, And so
(20:03):
it's kind of recognizing like, gosh, well if I plan
a cultural trip, you know, to Washington, d C. Or
I remember I did one through Boston where I thought
it'd be so cool, you know, Quincy Hall, Faniel Market,
go see where the Boston tea party are, like great
American culture and history. But if that doesn't seem fun
(20:26):
to them, they're going to resist the whole time.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
So again I'm not saying you can't take that trip,
but you want to be mindful as to what they
like and make it a balance of activities. So have
some for my kids, it needs to have some adventure
activities along with it. So I remember, like one area
(20:51):
or one city we were in, we rented segues. Okay, right,
so they're on the segue. They're using their body, right,
So instead of a walking tour, we did a segue tour,
you know. So just kind of thinking about how can
I incorporate some things that my child really enjoys into
this trip. And also I just want to say like
(21:13):
it's not all on you either, Like you can ask
your child, you know, like, hey, if we were to
take a family trip to Boston, what might be a
few things that you would enjoy doing. Right. So I'm
not saying you have to be a pushover or do
everything they want, but we do need to include them
(21:33):
in the discussion if you want to have a good.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Time, and that can actually be fun when you're researching
a city with your child, look at different things, show
them this or that, and get them kind of it's
just a way to get them excited. I totally agree
with that. Well, yeah, absolutely, let's okay, so we involve
them in the planning.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
We are on the trip now, though, and we are
in the middle of conflict. What are some quick tools.
Let's see if we can build a toolbox for parents
when the teen is in full conflict mode on the trip,
how can we de escalate. I'm not saying it's like
a hostage negotiation, but it might be close. What are
(22:20):
some tools that we can What are some tools we
can put in the toolbox for parents?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Yeah? I love that. Okay, So I think the first
tool in the toolbox is actually a tool before you
leave the trip.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I think the more you can have conversations beforehand about
what you're expecting or what you're hoping for, you're gonna
set yourself up for success. So let's take like one
of the hot topics with all of us parents with preteens, teens,
and young adults phones. Right, you're on a family trip,
(22:54):
they can't get their face out of the phone. So
right away, a tool in your toolbox is, let's have
a talk about that before we go on the trip. Yeah,
and not a talk where we're just lecturing and making demands,
but again we're including them in the decision. So you
might want to say something like, Hey, you know, Dad
(23:17):
and I are super excited about this trip and spending
family time together and talking to each other. I'm just curious.
I know you really like being on your phone and
that's how you stay in touch with your friends. I'm
just curious, like, how much time do you think is
reasonable to be on your phone during the trip. So
(23:37):
you're engaging them ahead of time and getting an answer,
and then with that answer if that's not acceptable to you. Right,
Let's say they say four hours, you know, and you're thinking, God,
I was thinking like one hour max, right, I mean,
then you can say back like, oh, you know, I
was really hoping like maybe just one hour before bed,
(24:01):
Like do you think we can meet in the middle somewhere, right,
So you're setting the trip up for success before you've
even left. So I think that's huge.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
When you do that and then you're in the moment
of heightened conflict or a fight or a struggle, if
you've set it up beforehand, you can then calmly say like, hey,
you know, honey, we had an agreement that we were
going to just use our phones, you know, one hour
before bed or whatever your family's agreement was. There's no
(24:36):
right or wrong here, sure, right, but you can reference
back to that and then say, you know, you seem
to be struggling with holding to that agreement. What's going on?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You know?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
For all we know, maybe they say something like, well,
my best friend just got an accident. I'm trying to
find out what happened, right, Yeah, and then all of
a sudden you're like, oh, oh, well of course you
can be on your phone. Is he okay? It completely
changes the conversation.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So notice one of the tools I'm using is really
trying to be well a few tools. One is calm
and not reactive when I'm feeling triggered, right, because if
there's a conflict or a struggle. Usually I'm triggered by
their behavior. Sure, So first is I have to get
(25:25):
my own self to like take a breath, you know,
give yourself a second to like like flush some of
that anger out. And then you want to approach them
with a curious question, right, like, hey, what's going on there?
We had this agreement and I see you're struggling to
keep it, Like what's going on? Right? So really, I
(25:48):
think the tool of curiosity and asking like open ended
what questions, coupled with from a very calm play is
really some wonderful tools you can have in your back pocket.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So when you talk about parents showing up with clarity
and intention, what does that look like when you're planning
a family vacation.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, so when you go to planet, you know, I
recommend like find something your family enjoys doing together. I mean,
we had family dinner together a couple of nights a week,
so that was always a great chance to talk. But
whatever you do in your family when you're all together,
is you know, approach it. You know, when I say
(26:39):
you know with intention, it's like have the intention that hey,
I I really want to have a beautiful family trip
together and make memories. And so my intention is that
we tee this up so everyone's excited about it, and Okay,
maybe your teenager isn't happy, but they're willing, you know,
(27:00):
to go with a semi nice attitude. And so yeah,
when I talk about clarity and intention, it's just having
that intention and said, you know, setting up your conversation
really keeping in your mind, what's your big picture goal here?
And if my big picture goal is to have a smooth,
(27:21):
fun trip where everyone's enjoying themselves now that they're teenagers,
needs to be more of a collaboration.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yeah, And I think mindset is for the parents something
I've learned the hard way. One of the first things
along this journey as we've done this podcast was, you know,
being given the realization that a family vacation isn't a
vacation from family, right it is. It's basically a family
(27:54):
field trip. And so, you know, I think from a
parent standpoint, making sure that we're in the right mindset
and understanding that. For example, when I go to the beach,
my idea of a good time is getting in the
ocean and floating. That's the entirety of my agenda. Rights
(28:16):
that's my idea of a good time. What took me
way too long to realize is that while I'm floating
in the ocean having my little Mary time, my wife
is on the beach having to watch the little guys,
you know, and the little guys are wanting my attention,
wanting me to be involved with what they're doing, and
(28:38):
so it just creates conflict there because I wasn't in
the right mindset. And so I think that's I think
that's tough for parents to you know, because we do
work hard. We all work hard, and when we go
on vacation, we have our expectations, but a family vacation
is mingling all those expectations into one.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well yeah, no, I mean that's such a good point.
It's you know, and it's like, the fact is is
we chose to have these kids, and we have we
don't have a lot of years with them, and we
do have a lot of years hopefully after they leave,
and you know, it might be a few years in
there where we're doing things that are more you know
(29:22):
that that we have to make sure that we're setting
it up for success by doing things that they enjoy
doing as well, and maybe saving those trips you know,
for when they're not around anymore, where you can just
go float in the ocean by yourself for a lot
of a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Let's talk about families that are going through big transitions.
You know, families evolve, things change, Families that are going
through things like divorce, moving to a new city, or
a blended family. How can travel play a role in
building connections.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
M Yeah, that's a great question. I have a few
clients who are single moms and we actually had some
of these conversations, you know, as they were heading into
summer and yeah, just you know this one mom has
two boys and they're teenagers, and it was you know,
(30:21):
she sat down with them and said, hey, you know,
I really want to spend some time with you guys
this summer, and I'd love to plan a trip. And
what's what sounds fun like, let's brainstorm together, and you know,
they ended up coming up with completely, to her surprise,
jaw dropping Disney World and they're I think they're fifteen
(30:42):
and seventeen. So she was shocked. And yeah, and then
we just we you know, I helped her come up
with the plan of having these conversations ahead of time
about what her intentions were about the trip and what
she really wanted out of the trip, you know, to
have time to just spend with each other and detach
from their phones and their devices, and to have fun
(31:05):
together and do fun things. And yeah, they ended up
going really smoothly, and she said it was such a
bonding experience that she I guess it hadn't been in
the past, But I think that intention we were talking
about that planning ahead of time, involving them in the conversation.
(31:27):
You know, it works beautifully whether you have a blended family,
or you're a single parent, or you're in some sort
of transition. I think one of the places we so
often get stuck, rob is that we're thinking a bunch
of stuff, but we don't communicate it to our kids.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I think that's true.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
And yeah, and that makes sense because we didn't really
need to do that when they were little, right, But
it's recognizing now and again, whether you're in a huge
transition or a blended family or your single parent. It's
like the more we can almost like take what's going
on in our mind and share it in a nice
(32:10):
kind way and share our desires and our hopes for
these trips, the more your teens kind of come around
and feel like, oh, mom's treating me like a young
adult here and right, and she's telling me what she
thinks and feels and is including me in the conversation.
And as soon as your teenager feels that kind of
(32:33):
respect coming from you, right, that you think they're capable
of participating in the conversation, that you believe they have
value to offer in the conversation, you're immediately going to
get a lot of that attitude that starts to subside.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah, and I think I think another trap that parents
all into me included. You know, we're bad about looking
on Instagram, right, and we see that perfect picture of
a perfect trip. Well, we don't see what's going on
behind the scenes exactly, you know, we don't see the
(33:15):
kid that's all day has been crying, didn't want to
get into the blue shirt that you wanted everybody into,
And we don't see all that. We just see this
perfect picture, and that's we have this ideal vision of
what a trip is supposed to look like. And one
of the things that we've talked about on the show
many times is ditching the whole idea of the perfect trip.
(33:39):
There is no such thing. Now, how do we as parents?
And you've talked about some of the ways, and it
may you may just be repeating yourself, and if you are,
I think that's fine because maybe I need to hear
it again. But what's a piece of advice that you'd
give parents to to help us prioritize that connection over
(34:00):
this perfect trip adeal that's in our head?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
M hm, yeah, Well, I think I love that you
said there is no perfect trip. I think that right there,
it just changes sort of our expectations of how it's
going to go. And I would add to that as well.
You know, there is no perfect parent either, there is
no perfect way to parent, right, It's like we're all
(34:27):
just doing our best out here and you know, trying
the best we can. And so I'm sorry, what was
your question again?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Just how do we prioritize connection over that adeal in
our head of what a perfect trip should look like?
It's really a mindset battle. I think for parents it
is for.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Me anyway, Oh for me too, for sure. I mean connection.
You know, people feel connected to one another when we
feel understood, and so I think it's so often our
teenagers say to us, right, you don't understand, you don't
(35:11):
get it, you don't know right, And we're hearing these phrases.
It's basically code language for I'm feeling like my mom
doesn't get what's going on for me right now. And
so if you want to beef up that connection, right,
if you want, I think we all want that feeling
(35:32):
of feeling close to our kids, you know, feeling like, oh,
my kids go to person, you know, when they have
a win and when they're struggling. If that's what you
really want, it's you're going to get that more quickly
if you slow down and you really try to understand
(35:53):
what's going on for them. Right So, if they're you know,
pitching a fit about you know whatever heading out to
the Animal Kingdom, you know, instead of saying like, hey,
we agreed to this trip before we left, and I've
spent a lot of money and you know, and you're
(36:13):
going and all of which is true, it just doesn't
help in terms of your connection or to motivate them
to go and cooperate. And so instead of the conversation
I just laid out, which you know, I'm definitely guilty
of and I think is very natural reaction that parents
(36:35):
have if you can slow yourself down and say like, hey,
you know, actually we actually talked about this and you
really wanted to go to you know, Disney World and
the Animal Kingdom, Like what, what's what changed this morning? Right?
What's what's different? And really trying to uncover, like what
(36:57):
what is the where is the attitude coming from? Right?
There's something going on insight of them. There's something they're
thinking or something that they're feeling that's causing them to say,
I don't want to do that. Even though you're thinking,
why wouldn't you want to do that? That's going to
be so fun? You actually said you wanted to do
it two days ago. I'm really confused and I already
(37:20):
spent the money and bought the tickets. Right, So if
we and I'm not saying this is easy. This stuff
is not easy, but it's effective. So if we just
slow ourselves down and prioritize that connection and try to understand, Okay,
so what's going on, like what are they thinking about
or what's come up with? What are they feeling that's
(37:43):
causing them to not want to participate and be a
part here? And why are they like in front of
my eyes trying to separate and disconnect from the family.
So it's that piece of really trying to slow down
and understand and then like having compassion for that for
whatever they're going through, because once we do that, rob,
(38:06):
once we understand the real reason they don't want to go,
Like maybe they're feeling like, oh, well, all of my
friends are getting on some video game at twelve o'clock
and I have to be home to do that or
I'm going to feel left out. Yeah, it's not that
you have to change your plans. But what will help
you with that connection with your teenager and help motivate
(38:29):
them to come along is if they feel like you
understand their desire to stay back and play the game
and have some compassion for that, that will release, like
for them, some of the grip on wanting to stay behind,
and it'll soften them and they'll be more cooperative to
(38:52):
come if they feel like, Okay, well mom really gets me,
Mom understands me, like she's on my side, right, because
you shown that compassion for the conflict going on inside
of them.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, And I think earlier in the conversation you mentioned
as a parent just taking a breath, I think at
Disney in particular, because I am one of those. I'm
a planner, Okay, so you know I've got our day
planned out. We actually did a podcast with each of
our children not too long ago, and when my daughter
(39:29):
was on, she mentioned how when she was younger that
used to chafe her, you know, just that we were
so you know, planned, the whole day was planned out,
and it was just rigid and this is what we're
going to do next. And I think there have been
quite a few moments where it would have been necessary
(39:52):
for me just to take a breath and realize, wait
a minute, am I sacrificing connection in the quest for
this perfect trip? Or because I've spent this much money,
and you know, am I chasing that perfect trip at
the cost of a connection? So all that resonates very
(40:12):
very deeply.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Oh yeah, and I'm glad you mentioned that because I
am a planner as well. And one thing I learned
I wish I had learned it sooner. But one thing
I learned when my kids were late teens is a
couple of them aren't that way. Yeah, And so when
I create a trip, that's like something's booked every minute
(40:37):
of the day and we're go, go go. It's inevitable
that one of my kids is going to be unhappy
and voice it, voice his anger frustration, and it's probably
going to come out in a way that feels really
disrespectful and ungrateful. But just to recognize, like as your
daughter said, you know, we're all different, and not everybody
(41:02):
you know likes to be Some people need more downtime
than others. Sure, and although you know you might not,
or I might not, one or two of our kids might.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Well, there's there's irony involved here because she also later
in the podcast said as she's gotten older, she's become
that planner. So and then me, I'm to the point
where when it comes to going to to Disney. You know,
we love Disney as a family. We love going. Our
(41:34):
kids have always loved going, regardless of their age. But
it's changed for me because I can't do the rope
drop to fireworks deal anymore. I just physically can't do it. So,
you know, it's kind of changed my perspective on that
particular vacation, you know, and others. As I mentioned, you know,
we all know that that things, of all things change.
(41:56):
Parents get older, so the family vacation is going to change.
So for parents that are in the middle of feeling
burned out, maybe aside from vacations for a second, because
as we've talked about this is this is a topic
for me that you know hits home. But if there's
(42:16):
a parent listing that's in the middle of just feeling
burnt out or feeling disconnected, feeling like their kids slipped
away or slipping away, as we talked about, I always say,
like I tell my kids, if you're in a situation
where you don't know which way is up, you don't
know what the next right decision might be, take a
(42:37):
small step. You know, is there something small that you
know is the right thing, Well, just do that. Do
that until you know the broader, bigger decisions come to you.
Is there one small step that a parent can take,
you know, traveling or at home to start rebuilding that
bond with their team.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Yeah, you know, there's lots of different things that you
can try. I'll offer a couple here. I think the
most underutilized small step that any parent can do is
to resist that urge to talk to them in the
(43:17):
moment when you're feeling emotionally reactive. That's really hard to do.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yes, yes, but it's really.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Effective if you can just notice that you're about to
lose it, right or you're about to roll in with
some lecture, or you're about to tell them why they're
wrong or what they should be doing. Instead, you can
just catch that and just take a step like zip
it for a second, and you know, and like we
(43:53):
talked about earlier, like maybe just take a few deep breaths,
because when they do something like let's say they you know,
you find out they're missing ten assignments, and you probably
go through a whole, you know, host of emotions. You're
probably angry at first, and then you're frustrated, and then
(44:15):
you're thinking what's wrong with you? You're on your phone
all the time, and then you're worried about how that's
going to impact, you know, the great and the class.
So as a parent, you're going through this huge range
of emotions with a teenager quite often anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, rejection,
(44:37):
her disrespects. I mean, I could go on and on
right and so just to recognize like, okay, wait, I'm
feeling I'm feeling very triggered right now, and so I'm
just going to try to take a second and stop
and pause and take a few breasts. Anyone can do that.
(44:58):
We all have access to our breath at any moment,
and just taking it's like research shows us by just
taking a few deep breaths, it can help reset our
nervous systems, so we're not those emotions aren't so heightened
and so intense that what comes out of our mouth
(45:23):
feels very, very difficult for our teenagers to receive and
to speak back to you in a way that's going
to be helpful or productive in any way. So with
all the coaching I do, I feel like this is
the most powerful tool we have, and it's the most
(45:43):
underutilized tool because it requires a lot from us and
it requires our child to do nothing, and that tends
to tell our human mind that it's not going to work.
Like the only thing that's going to work is if
I go fix the situation.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
That sounds familiar.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
Yeah, So I think it sounds so simple, and I
feel like you hear it a lot, But it's like stop,
pause and breathe, Like resist that urge to respond to
them in the moment when you're feeling triggered by their disrespect,
their rudeness, their failing grades, their messy room, hitting their
(46:31):
sibling on their phone on the time. I mean, I
could go on and on, right, I think there's a
lot of stuff that triggers a lot of us.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Do you have a camera in my home? I feel
like you have a camera in my home. I'm a
little creeked out now.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Oh well, that's because I know it firsthand with my
own self and my children. So I will offer one
other thing that a tool you can have in your
toolbox that if you you just take whatever you want
to say, and you take a second and you think
(47:08):
to yourself, how can I say this starting with the
word what right? So you need to do the dishes?
Like what's going on about the dishes? Just like it
can be as simple as that, right or right there
(47:31):
being disrespectful and you want to say you can't talk
to me like that, right? You just like turn that
around into what's what's going on? Right? It's it's it
just slows you down, which gives you a moment to regroup.
And then I think, I don't know about you, but
(47:51):
a common thing with my husband and I was to
you know, for lack of a bord lecture, or we
thought we were giving advice and we're really smart, We've
got great advice. The only problem is our teenagers usually
aren't interested in hearing it. So it's like, if you
have advice to give, or you've noticed yourself falling into
(48:14):
a lecture, ask yourself, Okay, how can whatever I want
to say? How can I start this question with the
word what and ask a curious question instead of telling
them what to do? So just that leading with curiosity
and trying to start your sentences with what it can
(48:39):
be really really a shift because what happens is your
child all of a sudden feels like, oh, Mom's interested
in what I have to say, and that helps the
irols subside, the slam doors subside, the attitude subside, right,
(48:59):
because they want to feel like you think they're capable, Yeah, right,
that you believe in them, and that you recognize that
they're now a young adult and you're offering them another
level of respect that wasn't there when they were little.
(49:23):
And I know that's hard to do sometimes when they're
being little brats, but when you can do that, you'll
notice that the behavi unwanted behavior will start to subside.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Well, Jany I talked about taking my medicine. I feel
like I've taken a little bit tonight as well. But
this has been incredibly insightful, incredibly helpful. Thank you for
these practical tools and for the empathy. That's that's one
thing I am trying to teach my boys that you
know can be difficult in the world that we live in.
(49:58):
But thank you for bringing empathy into the conversation. Where
can our listeners find you and learn more about your work?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me on rob It's been
so fun talking to you. And I'm a big I
love family trips and I've definitely had resistant teenagers, so
it's such a fun topic. But yeah, if you want
to learn more about me, the best place to go
is my website, which is janinemuschwar dot com. I imagine
(50:26):
you put that in the show notes so I don't
have to spell my complicated names.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
I will have it.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
I'm also on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn, and I've
been doing for the last six months or so, like
short ten minute videos on a topic and putting them
on YouTube. So you can find me there at Janinemuchwar
or a myight fandor Janine the parenting coach. Okay, if yeah,
(50:55):
just if you're like, oh, I got ten minutes, I'm
going to go listen to a little snippet and I
usually take one of these topics and kind of do
just a ten minute deep dive, and really, I always
always love to make it actionable so you can walk
away with something practical that you can try.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
Fantastic. Well, we will definitely be watching that YouTube channel
for all of your little ten minute snippets because I
have a feeling that I'm yeah, I have a feeling
I'll need them. So Jannine, thank you so much for
your time and coming on the show.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Oh you're welcome, Rob, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Make sure and check out Janine's work and her resources.
Whether you're deep in the teen years or you're just
starting to think ahead, and if this episode hit home
for you, know that you're not alone. Before we wrap up,
I want to give you guys a sneak peek at
something I've been working on. Oh boy, it's a book
(51:52):
that pulls together some of the most powerful lessons and
stories that we've shared here on The Family Vacationer still
in the works, but my hope is that It will
give you, guys, practical tools and real life inspiration to
make travel a deeper and more meaningful part of your
family life. So stay tuned for more details in the
months ahead. We're also working towards our two hundredth episode,
(52:16):
two hundred episodes. We've got some cool surprises around that,
so make sure you stay tuned. All kinds of fun,
cool things going on with a family vacationer, So don't
forget to subscribe and follow us on Instagram and substack
for more conversations like this. Remember, folks, keep your passports
and your heart's open. Safe travels everyone.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I've got it.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
All the places in the hotel stasis.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
I'm using the buck rides and lot of sides, mountain
ranges and see mental changes.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
I'm lead to serve on the ferry vacationers. I've got
skin full on other beach places and hotel spaces, amusement
park rides and waterslides, mountain ranges.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
This seasonal changes
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.