December 23, 2025 • 43 mins
Summary
Aaron and Brasher discuss the 1996 Christmas film 'Jingle All the Way,' exploring its themes of consumerism, parenting, and the emotional dynamics between characters. They analyze the satirical elements of the film, particularly how it critiques the commercialization of Christmas and the pressures faced by parents. The conversation delves into the character of Howard Langstrom, his relationship with his son, and the often-overlooked role of the mother. Aaron and Brasher emphasize the importance of time spent with children over material gifts, and reflect on how the film's messages resonate in today's society.
Takeaways
Consistent presence is more important than grand gestures.
The film critiques consumerism during the holiday season.
Howard Langstrom represents the struggle of modern parenting.
The mother’s emotional labor is often overlooked in the film.
Satire is used to highlight societal issues around Christmas.
Character dynamics reflect common tropes in family films.
Consumer guilt is weaponized during the holiday season.
The film's humor contrasts with its serious themes.
Time spent with children is more valuable than material gifts.
The film's ending lacks character growth and resolution.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Jingle All the Way
01:29 Film Synopsis and Themes
04:11 Satire and Consumerism in Christmas Movies
06:29 Character Dynamics and 90s Tropes
09:56 Parenting and Presence vs. Materialism
13:50 Modern Relevance of Jingle All the Way
17:35 Consumer Guilt and Marketing Tactics
22:26 Cultural Commentary on Christmas Consumerism
28:23 Quality Over Quantity in Parenting
30:46 The Emotional Labor of Parenting
32:32 Male Role Models and Redemption
34:21 The Performative Nature of Fatherhood
37:17 Casting Choices and Audience Alignment
39:58 The Dark Humor of Parenting
46:39 Lessons Unlearned in Holiday Films
Keywords
Jingle All the Way, Christmas movie, parenting, consumerism, satire, Arnold Schwarzenegger, family dynamics, holiday films, emotional connection, marketing tactics
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Didn't a little delay a fun Christmas comedy or
a warning about replacing timewith toys.
Welcome to the Phantom Portals,the podcast that proves your
(00:22):
favorite films have something toteach you.
I'm Aaron, a teacher and alifelong film fan, and today I'm
here with my co-host Brash.
This week we have been lookingat the movie Jingle All the Way.
It was made in 1996, and thisone is part of our Christmas
special episode.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Christmas.
Yeah.
And this one was actually votedin by you guys, our community.
(00:43):
It beat out titles such as I'llBe Home for Christmas.
It beat out Rise of theGuardians.
It beat out Christmas Chronicle.
And it also beat out Klaus.
So you guys voted for this one,and you guys surprise us with
your votes all the time.
It's never the one that we couldpredict.
Hey, Brash.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01):
No.
No, I really didn't think thisone was going to make it at all.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Yeah, yeah.
I know it's got like a bit of acult following, or not really a
cult following, but it's like aa niche Christmas movie.
But, you know, there's the onesthat stand out that are your
must-watches, like everyonewatches The Grinch and everyone
does Home Alone almost everyyear.
So I think like this one cameout of a bit of a left field.
So all our suggestions also camefrom our community as well.
(01:24):
So yeah, here we go.
Jingle all the way.
So yeah, without any furtherado, Brash, do you want to give
us a film synopsis of Jingle Allthe Way starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger?
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
So Jingle all the way.
Parenting by credit card,capitalism by flamethrower.
Howard Langstrom is the kind ofdad who thinks showing up is
optional.
As long as the receipt isimpressive.
He misses Kafari class,birthdays, and basic human
connection.
But don't worry, he promises hisson Jamie the hottest toy on
earth.
Turbo Man, a plastic deityforged in the fires of
late-stage capitalism.
(01:56):
Naturally, Howard waits untilChristmas Eve to buy it because
playing is for people whoactually raise their kids.
He then discovers Turbo Man issold out everywhere, launching
him into a festive dystopiawhere moles become war zones,
grown adults commit feloniesover dolls, and corporations
quietly smile because artificialscarcity is their love language.
Enter Ted, a single dadneighbor, part baked goods
(02:19):
enthusiast, part emotionalvulture.
While Howard is gone all day,again, Ted spends his entire
movie aggressively orbitingHoward's wife like a suburban
shark.
He fixes things, bakes cookies,compliments her constantly, and
subtly suggests that if someonewere around more, she wouldn't
be so stressed.
Ted doesn't want Turbo Man, Tedwants Howard's wife.
(02:41):
Meanwhile, Howard gets arrestedfor toy crimes, is hunted by
police, and a postal workerwho's snapped under consumer
pressure.
Causes multiple car accidentsand loses all dignity.
All while insisting this is forhis son.
A child learning that loveequals products and dad only
appears during retailemergencies.
The movie ends with Howardaccidentally becoming Turbo Man
(03:03):
himself in a parade because inthis universe the only way to be
a good father is to literallybecome the brand.
Jamie finally loves him.
Not for emotional growth, butbecause Dai can now fly and
shoot discs.
Moral of the story is not to beemotionally present, not to be
not to respect your partner, andlet capitalism nearly kill you
while a horny neighbor tries tosteal your wife.
(03:24):
A heartwarming class Christmasclassic that boldly asks, what
if bad parenting, but make itfestive and aggressively
commercial?
SPEAKER_01 (03:33):
See, I think that is a really awesome synopsis.
And the like at the start ofthat, when you were describing
this movie in your way, I waslike, that actually sounds like
a good movie.
But this one, like somebody onour threads, they're named the
real Mike Gilberts and they saidworst period Christmas movie
period ever.
And, you know, it does notscream like holiday season in
(03:53):
terms of you know how mostChristmas movies show you that
like warm and festive sort ofmessage.
This is not that.
So if you're coming for aChristmas movie that has those
kind of vibes, this isdefinitely not the one.
But our takeaway for this one,Brad, was that consistently
showing up matters more thanlast-minute gestures because
connection is built through timeand not through things.
SPEAKER_02 (04:10):
Yeah.
And like at the end, he sort ofnods to the fact that he's going
to do that, but at no point doyou really like see it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
Promises the world and says, I will never do it
again.
I don't know if that's true.
SPEAKER_02 (04:24):
Oh, yeah.
They need to make a um jingleall the way to where he's
actually followed through what Ipromise him.
SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
But I think it's important to note for this movie
as well that obviously we arelooking at this through through
time being more important forparents to consider than than
than things, but we doacknowledge that this movie is
obviously satire.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Like this is and to be honest, like I did enjoy
watching this movie.
Like it was it was fun.
Like the m well like if youdon't think about any messaging
in this movie and just take itfor what it is, it's just a fun
movie of a dude running aroundtown trying to get a doll.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
Yeah, it is chaotic.
It is fun.
It is like um, let's say it'slike the not the prequel, let's
say it's the the gateway druginto like uncut gens in terms of
an anxious movie watch.
SPEAKER_03 (05:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
So yeah, so this is like satire, which means it's
it's it can be humorous or itcan be non-humorous, but it's
also a way that people like avehicle that is artistic
sometimes, not really in thiscase, but yeah, it's artistic in
the fact that it illuminates orexplores or critiques like a
social condition or a system ofpower.
And in this case, it wasobviously the marketing hysteria
that surrounded Christmas at thetime.
(05:31):
So and they use the character ofArnold Schwarzenegger's Howard
Langstrom as the the person thatwas the victim of that, you
could say.
Because I think, yeah, we'regonna talk about a few things in
this episode, including likeconsistency versing spectacle
when it comes to to fatherhoodand parenting, and then we're
also gonna talk about consumerguilt and how people weaponize
that, especially duringChristmas time.
(05:53):
And we're also, I want toactually talk a lot about the
mother here as well, because Ithink her emotional presence is
really overlooked throughout themovie.
She's there always for thisyoung man, and he's like
obviously Arnold gets thestarring point of the show
because he's Turbo Man, but Ithink she does a good job too.
But then also, there were somefamiliar 90s character tropes in
(06:14):
this movie that I want todiscuss, and we might touch on
that first, actually, becauseBrash, when I was watching this
movie, I was so like, I feellike I'd known these characters,
and I feel like they did that onpurpose.
And the character tropes and thecharacters that they're actually
portraying being HowardLangstrom and Ted, you know,
they're neighbours of eachother.
One is a bumbling father whomeans well but always seems to
(06:36):
fall on his face, and the otherone is their well-to-do neighbor
that everybody in the communityseems to be feeling like like
well-to-do enamored with and areenamored with, yeah.
So I feel like I've seen thatdynamic before, especially
during the 90s when this wasmade in 1996.
Like it screams The Simpsons tome.
Did you get that as well?
So think about it.
Because if you've got likeHoward as Arnold Schwarzenegger
(06:57):
being Homer, and then you've gotthis guy, Ted, Ned Flanders, and
I think there was also a pointin the movie where I saw him
wearing like a green sweater andhe's got the glasses too.
I'm like, this is literally NedFlanders.
Like he's always around, he'simposing his he's like being the
better dad and the communityfavorite.
And you know, later it'srevealed that obviously Ted is
overcorrecting for it for adivorce confession that he's
(07:19):
had.
But I think, yeah, familiarcharacters for me.
SPEAKER_02 (07:22):
One thing I do like about these Christmas movies
though is that they're allfairly unique compared to
nowadays.
Like nowadays, Netflix will pumpout like five to eight Christmas
movies, and they're all just thesame plot, just different uh
locations.
SPEAKER_01 (07:36):
Yes, that is very true.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:38):
So I I do I do like the fact that yeah, that these
movies try to do somethingdifferent.
And as we said earlier with thesatire, if you watch it that
way, it is like uh a warningagainst sort of these things
like uh like to not to get yourpresence early to save on trying
to buddy hustle and bustle andtrying to run around and uh
(08:00):
navigate through shopping andnavigate through all the crowds
of people and uh problems thatthat causes.
Also with the neglecting ofchildren and stuff like that,
like the whole moral of thestory is that the kid
realistically doesn't care aboutlike but then again, I feel
Jamie is a lot mature than somechildren.
(08:20):
I mean this movie.
Yeah, not to say that ch well,not to say that all children are
shit heads, but like I know whenI was a little kid, when I was
like five when I was like six,seven, I know that on my
birthday, I know I I could havebeen a little greedy little shit
too.
Uh it's yeah, it it's it's likeshows that I'm just being
present and uh like being aparty of a child's life is more
(08:44):
important than toys.
Because like honestly, thiscould have all been solved by
him just being like got to getto the toy before it's sold out.
I'll get you one.
I'll just have to wait untilthey're back in stock again.
For now, let's just uh hang outfor the day, play catch, yeah,
(09:06):
go to this parade, bake cookies,roll credits like that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
Yeah, I definitely think that's that's that's
something that came into my headtoo, because he could have
solved this all by telling thetruth, for one.
For two, I can I can see whyJamie wanted this toy so badly
because when I first watchedthis as a kid, I also wanted a
Turbo Man toy, and Thomas Craigon our threads said the same
because I always wanted that toyfor Christmas too.
So I can see where the theattraction comes, but I do agree
(09:34):
with what you said about Jamiebecause at the end, I wrote a
note here that said he'sprobably the most like
emotionally sort of correctcharacter when it comes to the
spirit of Christmas in thismovie because everybody's
falling into this consumermarketing trap, but the kid's
the one that goes, you knowwhat, Christmas is about giving,
let's give it to this guy that'sjust been villainous to
everybody, gives him the TurboMan special limited edition toy,
(09:58):
and basically just says, youknow, I've got the real Turbo
Man here, which is my dadanyway.
So you can see that he trulyjust wanted some time, and the
toy was just not really an issuefor him.
So the honesty probably wouldhave gone wonders.
But I think that's also apparentat the start of the movie
because the first time that wesee Howard actually letting his
son down, we will say, isobviously during the Missed
(10:20):
Karate tournament scene, andhe's you know, he's he's at his
workplace and he's answering allthe phone calls the same way,
and he says, You're my bestcustomer, you're my favorite
customer, and he's really justcollecting the numbers instead
of creating those personalrelationships.
So it's a real blatant way forus to say this guy cares about
his job and not really about thepersonal connections he's making
along the way.
(10:41):
And then everybody's warninghim, saying, You said that last
time, holding up the cards,which is a classic trope from
another Christmas movie that weall know and love.
SPEAKER_03 (10:48):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
And yeah, you know, you'll be late, you have to
leave now, and he's just pushingit, pushing it, pushing it until
you finally see obviously hewalks into the auditorium, it's
completely empty, and he goeshome and he's with his tail
between his legs.
And he faces his wife and he'sfull of excuses to start with,
but then one he does actuallymake a genuine apology to Jamie.
He does say that he's sorry.
Because I think overall, Howarddoesn't fail because he doesn't
(11:11):
care, he fails because hebelieves that like big gestures
will replace showing up in thelong run.
So the big promise that he giveshim is like, I'll get you a
turbo, man, this is gonna begreat, and we'll have lots of
awesome time playing with ittogether, instead of like a
genuine kind of apology andsaying, I stuffed up and I'm
gonna change my ways in the longrun.
So yeah, it makes a spectacleout of growth, but the real
connection is real connectionwith with kids is built quietly
(11:34):
and repeatedly and on purposeacross time.
And I think that was somethingthat I took from this movie
because yeah, I didn't reallythink that Howard was a was a
deadbeat kind of father.
Like I really did see that heloved his son.
SPEAKER_02 (11:47):
And the thing is, I reckon this movie probably hits
hard like hits harder nowadayswith the cost of living as it is
currently.
People have to focus on theirjust focus on work and work and
work and work purely just to beable to afford the basic needs
that needed to live.
So the fact that like I canunderstand uh his need to like
(12:11):
just want to work and work andwork so he can get that money so
he can give his family what theylike whatever they want.
Um and and like that does comewith sacrifices, unfortunately.
Um like but I think like back inthat, those days, uh the cost of
living wasn't so bad.
So him just working, working,working really had no other
consequence than just makingmore money, which I suppose is
(12:33):
never a bad thing, but that thathe does neglect his family when
realistically he didn't need to.
But having like a move like thiscome out now, I think would hit
harder with the whole like Ithink more outside would be more
understanding of power'sposition and be like, yeah,
that's what we can do.
We are we are working constantly24-7.
(12:55):
The only way we can make up withthat is by using that money that
we work so hard for to make abig gesture at one point in
time, to be like, oh, so we wantyou so much, but here's
something to like to show that Ireally care and I've been
thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:10):
Yeah, I can I can agree with that man, especially
because in this day and age,like modern dads, for example,
me, myself being one, I'm onlyspeaking for myself here, but
I'm sure there are others outthere that can resonate.
Like, I'm constantly dealingwith this guilt of like if they
if I spend a lot of time atwork, I'm providing for my
family, which is what my role isas a as a father and a parent
and a and a husband in a house.
(13:31):
But then at the same time,because I'm working, you don't
get time with me.
So you have to really strikethat balance.
And when that balance gets outor or misaligned, it can force
people to to do these grandgestures that Howard does at the
end of this movie or to likeoverpromise on occasion as well.
Because the last thing any dadwants to see is their kid being
(13:52):
let down, especially when it'sby them.
So like this time scarcity thateverybody has is a result of the
pressure that everybody'sfeeling to to work more.
And you know, it's it's adouble-edged sword now these
days, too, because when we'retalking about even mothers these
days, sometimes two incomehouseholds, like parents are
finding it hard to find timewith their kids.
And I feel like this movie wouldresonate more now, looking at
(14:15):
the cost of living in throughthat lens than it did back then.
Because, like, if you look atwhere they live, for example,
Howard's house is prettypristine, like it's a
good-looking house made of brickin a terraced sort of estate.
Obviously, they're they'rethey're well to do.
I don't think I saw that thewife Liz had like a job of any
(14:35):
kind that I could remember, butthey're in very sort of
traditional kind of roles inthat space.
But you know, this day and age,that is not really the norm for
families to be.
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
Usually you've got both parents working just to
make sure they can pay foreverything.
Because they're chuck, you know,well, you you know more than I
do because you have children Idon't, but um, they're
expensive.
SPEAKER_01 (14:57):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they are a definite pitfor money to go to.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
I have kids that have both parents working and
because they like they tell mehow much their daycare for a
week costs.
SPEAKER_01 (15:09):
Yeah.
Yeah, it is it is definitely abattle because then you're
obviously picking like daycareso you can both work, but then
you're balancing the thefinances there as well.
So it it's hard, man.
It's very hard.
And I I didn't feel that waywhen I was watching this because
I did see it a little bit fromHoward's perspective.
Whereas if I was watching thisas a kid, which I have done, I
was like, man, I hope that dadgets him that toy, because that
would be awesome.
(15:29):
Like that's what you think aboutwhen you kind of watch it.
But yeah, I could definitely seethe panic in Howard's eyes, in
in Arnold Schwarzenegger's eyes,as he was failing his son, sort
of like time and time again, andjust really desperate to make
that grand gesture to actuallypull through on Christmas and
you know not let his son down.
But you know, Jamie is like thatemotional mirror in this case
(15:49):
because he he does kind of lowerhis expectations to protect the
connection that he has with hishis dad, like and he accepts
responsibility and effort andand accountability when it
really shouldn't have been hisaccountability to take, like
when they're fighting on thephone.
SPEAKER_02 (16:04):
On fighting on the phone, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah.
So obviously that was himsoaking up that emotional
responsibility that obviouslyHoward should have should have
sort of focused on.
But again, it goes back to thefact that Jamie was probably the
one who's embodying the spiritof Christmas and good spirit
more so than Yeah, even afterlike when he's on the phone,
he's like he like he no mentionof any toys or anything like
(16:25):
that.
SPEAKER_02 (16:25):
He's just well, he's like, I want you home so you can
come to the parade.
unknown (16:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:30):
As anything you ask for.
Yep.
And Dad's like, but I have torun around and get this toy for
you when he could just be like,yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_01 (16:38):
Go to the parade.
Yeah.
Like he missed the point on thatpart, yeah.
And you know, some people wouldbe tearing their hair out at
that point as well.
But I think he was just so deepin the struggle of wanting to
get the toy.
Because, you know, let's move onto talk about like consumer
guilt and marketing beingweaponized, because even in this
movie, they s they make a satireof it.
You can see it through thecharacter of Myron and the post
(16:58):
office character because he sitsin that dino with Howard after
he's failed a few times, and hesays, You know why I hate
Christmas is because my daddidn't get me this toy that one
time.
And then, you know, it goes downthat rabbit hole of Howard
actually envisioning his son inMyron's uniform drinking from
the bottle, and he's thecautionary tale that he doesn't
want to repeat.
(17:19):
So he has to get this Turbo Mantoy for his son.
But like that, like things likethis actually happened in the in
the 80s and the 90s.
So marketing companies withcabbage patch kids is one that I
looked up, where they initiallylaunched in 1983 and they sold
for like$25 apiece, but becausethey limited their stock and re
and and sold them out soquickly, demand vastly exceeded
(17:42):
the supply.
So people were reselling thesedolls for$100 to$500.
And then the news outlets at thetime were marketing it and
making it even worse becausethey were showing people like
fighting in stores, showingphysical aggression.
There was people in hospitals,and then also stores were
including these ticketingsystems to purchase items on a
limited basis, but also to likecontrol the crowds, as we saw in
(18:06):
this movie too, with the lotterysystem with the bulls, which was
probably my favorite scene, bythe way, just because of how
much mayhem was occurringthroughout the world.
SPEAKER_02 (18:14):
Everyone just went apeshit and yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yeah.
But it it's not uncommon becausethese marketing companies and
even the toy retailers, likecabbage patch kids, for example,
they were sold with likeadoption papers.
So it's like this emotionalresponsibility is coupled with
the toy, and you know, the kidhad to get the toy because all
the ads told the parents thatthey had to get it, and the toy
equaled love, especially duringthis sort of time of year.
(18:38):
And then coincidentally, I alsoread that when this movie came
out, when they're pretty muchlike taken the piss out of
people doing this at shops in1983, it happened the same year
this movie came out in 1996 witha tickle me elmo doll.
Like over five million unitswere sold, and it was
deliberately under-supplied forrelease.
So it would create thiswidespread increasing panic, and
(19:01):
like national programs were wereall on it, and there would be
news stories on a nightly basisthat would say, like, this is
where the Elmo shortage is at atthis minute.
So it's like it's so weaponizedto the point where this
corporate marketing is just it'sso indoctrinating for everybody
and all these families,especially this time of year,
(19:21):
because the culture exploitsthese working parents and it
turns that parental guilt intocompetition between other
parents that are trying to dothe same thing as you.
But then framing love assomething that can be proven and
driven by purchase.
So it's it's definitely satiringthat really, really well.
But I found it reallyinteresting that it was satiring
something and then that verysame year deciding that they
(19:44):
were satiring.
So yeah, it just goes to showscarcity, object scarcity is
something that they're doingthrough like laboobus and things
like that now, too.
SPEAKER_02 (19:52):
I was gonna say laboo boos are like the new sort
of cage patch kids.
Yeah.
Like even South Park did a umlabos were Like one of the new
um show like new episodes ofSeth Park was all about laboo
boos.
And how like if you get thespecial like one of the special
edition laboo-boos, you can dolike a blood ritual.
(20:13):
Oh my god.
Stop and Christmas and shit.
It was like but uh it was allabout yeah, the boo boos and
you're like trying to get likethe most most rare ones.
I think luckily lucky for usnowadays because it's so easy to
get your hands on things throughonline and like no one really
has to go into the stores toreally get things anymore.
(20:35):
You can just order online andhave it delivered to you.
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
Yeah.
Also, also in terms of likeadvertising, I think in the 90s
it was a lot easier foradvertisers to get their product
in front of people.
Yeah, and now because ofstreaming, obviously we see a
few ads here and there, but youcan pay to remove those ads.
I don't think I've seen a properad for a really long time,
except for obviously signagewhen you're driving around.
(20:59):
But I think it was very muchpart of the zeitgeist back then,
as you know, you saw the thefilm or the the the
advertisement and it wasreplayed over and over and over
again.
Like you remember those old 90saction figure commercials?
Like they were so cool to watch,and I actually miss watching
them sometimes because they werereally, really cool.
But you don't see anything likethat really anymore, at least in
(21:20):
Australia.
I'm not sure what it's like inother countries because
obviously you don't watch TV inother countries, but in
Australia, it's very difficultto see ads on anything other
than like gambling or fast food.
This movie especially realrelies on that Christmas
pressure cooker, and obviouslythe in this case it's the
working fathers, but in in timeit's been working parents
because there's that time guiltwhich already exists, but it's
(21:41):
also like it's time to make upfor the year that you obviously
have been working all this time.
And you know, I I do, as we saidbefore, I do sympathize with
with working parents in thisspace, and I think it's really
hard time of year for a lot ofpeople as well.
So just going back before wemove on as well, on that like
being there consistently foryour kids is better than like
(22:02):
one grand gesture and thingslike that.
You know, I think an unpopularopinion that you might say
around this sort of aspect isobviously you have to kind of it
goes back to putting your ownoxygen mask on first.
If you're like tapped out, or ifyou really feeling the pressure
in these kinds of situations ofconsistently like showing up for
(22:22):
your kids, there is obviouslythat guilt that you have to be
able to do and provideeverything that you can.
But there is also a lot to sayabout being able to, you know,
take five, ten minutes when youneed to, go and find a space or
do something, or if you can likeask your partner or whoever to
to have the children for thatmoment.
But obviously showing up is isgood, but you have to be ready
(22:45):
and able emotionally to show upas well.
So obviously Howard's goingthrough a lot of stress at this
time, but also you know, thereis that that part that we kind
of have to look at as well.
Whereas there is that pressureto be there, and you know, time
is better than than toys.
Yes, absolutely, but make surethat time is spent quality
(23:05):
instead of quantity, yeah.
So I I actually was speaking tosomebody about this when I was
having some trouble with it.
And because I used to work away,and when I'd come back, I'd only
have an hour or so in theafternoon to spend with my kids,
and it was really getting medown that I was unable to do
that and I was feeling that thatguilt and that pressure.
But one thing that this personsaid to me was it's not about if
(23:27):
you have three hours with yourkids, it's if you have one hour
or ten minutes or 30 minuteswith your kid, and that actually
just is time with your kid, youknow?
So it's not about the amount,it's about the quality, which I
think is important for people toto understand and know, and also
like be easy on yourself becausemost parents that I know are
(23:50):
probably doing way better thanthey give themselves credit for.
So 100%.
Especially this time of year.
It's very hard for a lot ofpeople.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
So acknowledging that even like I've got single
parent friends that just I Idon't know how they do it.
Like they impress me every dayabout like they'd be able to
keep it together.
Like, I don't know, I don't knowhow I go in there shoes.
Yeah, no, it's definitely likeany time is better than no time
and quality time, like doingsomething like you know, like
(24:20):
even even like you're like, I'vegot 20 minutes, going to Kim,
like and you mean saying likewhat do you want to do?
And then just taking whateverthey say and just running with
it.
Yeah, just absolutely how longyou can just doing what they
want to do, and then at the endthey're probably gonna be like,
Oh no, can we go 10 moreminutes, five minutes?
And you're like, I wish yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
And you know, my kids are at an age now where
they just really want to just dowhatever you're doing.
So yeah, and I I think there isan age bracket where this is
probably appropriate andapplies, but even if you find
yourself like short on time orlike the day's running away from
you if you've got all theseshorts to do, like there is
nothing my son likes to do morethan hang out or washing.
Like, I don't know where he gotthat from, but like it's not you
(25:01):
you could say that it's qualitytime because we do that together
and we talk and it's a job thatwe're sort of doing side by
side.
But is it a big grand gesture?
Am I wearing a turbo man suit?
No.
So it's it's looking at thoselittle things that you do in the
everyday that provides thatconnection.
And yes, those big gestures aregood every now and then because
it's great to have thosememories as a as a family, but
(25:22):
also like you will look back oneday and remember the times when
you hung out the washing orplanted that that tree in the
garden or watered the lawn or heswept the the clippings off the
driveway while you mowed thegrass.
Like that's not big stuff, butit's still that quality and it's
still what we're talking abouthere in terms of consistency
versus the spectacle of ofparenting.
(25:44):
So, and also over the bigmassive gift that you can get.
And you know, nothing wrong withthat if that's what you want to
do.
But yeah, I just I really wantpeople to sort of know and
understand that sometimes that'sgood enough is good enough, as
I've said before.
And we're often our own harshestcritic.
So with us on this, do you wantto start looking at Liz was the
(26:05):
character's name in this movieJingle all the way?
Like the the emotional labour ofthe mother in this case, where
she's sort of always there,she's that constant presence.
I think Ted is definitely framedas the better male role model,
but his presence so creepy, socreepy, so creepy.
And it's also very performative.
What he's doing is veryperformative.
(26:26):
So you can see that he'sobviously there helping all of
the ladies who require ahandyman around the house.
And that was very obviouslysatired in the movie at the
start in the karate scene aswell.
And then, you know, him being onthe roof fixing the Christmas
lights for Howard when he gothome is just like an invasion as
well of you know, time and andin your your sort of space
(26:47):
there.
But he's he was definitely a bitof a like overcorrector, and
he's seeking these validatingbehaviours because he had that
that divorce, and it's revealedthrough the kid, he's just like
he's been great ever since wehad the divorce.
Like yeah, and I think that'syou know, he's he's also
self-focused, like Howard isself-focused in terms of his
job, but Ted is also prettyself-focused, but it's through a
(27:09):
different lens.
His lens is obviously throughtrying to appear or perform in
front of the crowd as awell-to-do dad, but he's also
doing massive gestures, likegetting the reindeer, for
example.
Like, what is that all about?
Like, he's overcompensating forthat, but it's it's a lesson
that both of them learn a littlebit too late.
And you know, Liz, the themother in this situation, is
(27:31):
sort of caught in the middle ofboth of these men.
Yeah, and you know, has to dealwith male bravado.
In this movie as well, maleredemption is prioritized
because Arnold Howard Langstromgets that Turbo Man moment where
he accidentally fumbles into thesuit and joins the parade, and
then he's allowed to pick outhis son from the crowd,
(27:52):
completely rigging the system.
And the whole time, like Liz isstanding there with him having
taken him to the parade, and shenever gets her her kudos or her
parade for taking him to theparade or the karate, but you
know I think the only thing shegets is it Howard at the end
going, I've taken both of youbiographs for granted, and I
won't that won't happen again,and that's it.
Yeah, thumbs up.
I'm sure you have not said thatbefore, but yeah, um, I think
(28:15):
her like her emotional labour inthis movie is absolutely
invisible because yeah, shealways shows up for Jamie, she's
always there remind also doinglike the reminding of the
household stuff, like Howard,did you pick up that toy that I
asked you to like a week and ahalf ago?
But yeah, I think that herconstant presence is what the
film fails to value in favour ofobviously that like because the
(28:38):
caregiving in this is obviouslytreated as expected, but yeah, I
think that Arnold's redemptionthrough this movie is is
foregrounded through histurboman gesture.
SPEAKER_02 (28:48):
Well, and even Liz, like when Ted is always subtly
trying to shit on Howard, likeall the way through the movie,
she's always like propping himup and trying to like defend him
the whole way through, up untilthe scene where he's trying to
steal the present from on eachthat tree.
SPEAKER_01 (29:08):
Too far that one, yeah.
You can't defend that.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
Yeah, so the whole way through though, she he was
she was just defending him,defending him, defending him,
uh, all the while, like allthings she's defending him for,
he's like currently doing.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
Yeah, and kudos to her as well, because you know,
when the chips were down, he'sobviously let her down heaps,
and like Ted saw that as hisopportunity to like swoop in and
and take what he was reallydoing all this performative
stuff for, obviously beingHoward's wife.
She was just like, no, andcontinued to go about her her
business as as she does.
So yeah, I I like that aspect ofthis movie where they didn't
(29:41):
make the the mother sort of fallinto those sort of patterns.
I think Liz Langstrom was a verystrong character too.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Well, I think I I do love is when Ted is putting the
start up on the tree.
In that scene, you see Liz comein and she's visibly angry, and
then straight away it cussed heroutside to Howard looking into
the window, and there she is,and she looks like she's
laughing and smiling.
How'd she get to that point whenshe came in visibly angry about
him putting up a star?
And then maybe she was laughingand laughing.
SPEAKER_01 (30:07):
Yeah, maybe from the back that's what it kind of
looked like, a lot of flailingaround that could be mistaken as
doing it like both ways.
SPEAKER_02 (30:13):
No, no, like I I made sure I've like stopped and
looked at it.
Yeah, she was like in that, likelooking at they I think they
were directed to look like ahappy sort of uh scene of like
say like PM and P Pan's lookingthrough window Wendy's window
and sees the thing happy andjovial.
That's like the sort of thingthat they sort of think like
he's meant to be looking throughand sees Liz happy and Ted happy
(30:36):
and uh like sort of Ted stealinghis life sort of thing.
Uh which also helps him tip himover the edge.
But yeah, so I thought I thoughtthat was funny because that goes
from like a scene where she'sangry and then cuts and she's
like all happy and jovial.
SPEAKER_01 (30:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (30:49):
And then cuts back in again, then she's just sort
of reprimanding him.
SPEAKER_01 (30:54):
No, I I think that's definitely a point too, because
one of the reasons that thismovie kind of works is because
they did cast ArnoldSchwarzenegger in that title
role, because you've probablyseen it a few times now where
the big burly actor goes anddoes like a kid-friendly or
family sort of role.
And this was coming off the backof like kindergarten cop and
(31:14):
things like that, and he waskind of starting to change his
trajectory into the kinds ofmovies that he was doing.
So I think that that star powerreally changes the audience's
alignment because if you look atwhat Howard Langstrom's doing,
he's he's like a buffoon,really.
He's jealous, he's inattentiveto his family, but still a lot
of the people watching thismovie would would root for him
and want him to get that toy andwant him to be successful.
(31:36):
Whereas a lot of the peoplewatching seeing Ted being, you
know, in quote marks, sincereand doing all of these actions
that do appear to be what Tedshould be doing.
Like he's obviously foregroundedas like the villain, in quote
marks, as well.
So coming in and being the beingthe home wrecker.
SPEAKER_02 (31:52):
Also how he how he plays it too.
So if they had Ted and he wasn'tuh played off so creepily and
played off more sincere, peoplewould probably more brute for
Ted being the good guy, butbecause I can't know who that
was, he's Ted Phil Hartmann.
Yeah, Phil Hartman.
(32:13):
The way he plays it is like spoton, like from the very get-go,
the way he just the way hetalks.
It's slime, isn't it?
Slimy, very slimy, and likestrawberry, you know, yeah,
that's a bad guy.
But what if you had a playedthat sincere, then I'll like
I'll be like hey man, coward, uhtake notes.
(32:33):
This is how you should beacting.
Yeah, um yeah, because he comesoff slimy, you know, like he has
ulterior motives.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't actually mind mind ifat the very start he was uh
played it very sincere, and itwas very sincere, normal.
And then so you're sort of likeyeah, why are you more like Ted?
And then as the storyprogressed, you get slimier and
(32:56):
slimier, and you're like, Yes,there it is.
There it is, there's the villaincoming out of the shadows, yes,
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:05):
But yeah, I actually think that like Arnold's casting
was pretty important in terms ofgetting the audience on side
because he's obviously him himbeing in a physical sort of
comedy space is entertaining andfun to watch, and his
frustration becomes likeslapstick in that space, and it
doesn't become something thatthe audiences are looking at and
(33:25):
saying, like, his his flaws arereally detrimental to the point
where you hate the character.
Like it's it's actually and Ithink the the Homer Simpson
trope where we were talkingabout how Howard is sort of the
bumbling, unassuming father thatis trying his best but fails
anyway, is and the the alignmentwith that, especially in the
90s, was a really big emotionalshortcut for these filmmakers to
(33:46):
do because you're familiar withHomer and you like Homer.
So you'll like Howard, who isexactly the same.
SPEAKER_02 (33:50):
So those are I love how they so because like Ted is
the first one to sort of push itout.
He's like, Oh, I must you can'tmuscle your way out of this one.
Um bench press your way out ofthis one.
Blah blah blah.
Suggesting that he is a bigstrong guy.
But realistically, nowhere, likenowhere at the start of this
(34:12):
movie or anything like that doesit show him like uh taking phone
calls like at the gym oranything, like showing that he's
uh spends time actually workingout.
He's just a big dude apparently.
Um because it like would itwouldn't pay off at the end.
And um I think in a way, to likethe point you're saying, uh he
was a very good casting becausethe clothes he wore were really
(34:34):
baggy, if you noticed, and it'sto make him sort of hide his
bulk.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
Yeah, moving away from that action movie audience
uh sort of appeal, but also likenodding to the parents or the
people in the audience that knowthat's where he's come from with
that bench pressing comment thatyou mentioned earlier.
SPEAKER_02 (34:49):
So he was a big dude, but he sort of hides it
with his clothes, so he doesn'treally appear.
So like him like if he waswalking around like a tank top
like he did in Predator, likeyou wouldn't really believe that
he's some corporate dick.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
Well, that that parade scene was probably as a
kid watching that, it was reallythe best part because obviously
his dad turns into thesuperhero, and he does kind of
play off on that that stereotypeand that motif of every young
boy thinks that his dad's hishis biggest hero.
So it it plays off on that, andat the end he actually says
that, you know, it's like I'vegot the real turbo man right
(35:23):
here.
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
So I think also I thought it was a bit weird.
I'm like, I've got the realturbo man here, and like, hey,
your dad turned up late to theparade.
SPEAKER_01 (35:31):
Well, that's the thing.
Do you think he would haveadmitted that he did that by
accident, or do you think hewould have been like, Yes, I
planned this all along?
The reason I couldn't come tothe parade with you, son, is
because I played I was here tosave the day.
I was here to put you in mortaldanger.
SPEAKER_02 (35:44):
Because uh because that James Harris R was like,
Oh, but real serious man, ohreal happy ending.
But I was like looking at uhwhen I was looking at I was
like, what concluded he?
What was the conclusion?
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
That's exactly why I thought this movie was pretty
atrocious, because in the end,nothing really concluded to the
point where the character learntany kind of lesson.
SPEAKER_02 (36:03):
Like he he basically he didn't demonstrate any
lessons, like he just flewaround in a suit to stuff that I
mean are physically impossible,but I thought he was so being
stupid by like flying into wallsand stuff and basically
screaming up while his kid's indanger climbing across rooftops,
uh and only at the last secondwhen he's falling does he catch
(36:26):
him.
Like at no point is there likeuh the whole point of the story
is the fact that he needs to bearound his family more.
At no point does it show thatsort of progression.
SPEAKER_01 (36:36):
No, except for that that thinly veiled sentence he
says at the end where he's like,I'll never.
SPEAKER_02 (36:43):
And I think for me show it, we didn't see it.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
Yeah, and you know what?
His like throughout the wholemovie as well, there's this
thing that happens with withlike anti-heroes as well, but
also in this movie, where thecause that the hero has, in this
case getting the Turbo Mandolfor his son, in in the space
where the hero goes from A to Bto achieve that goal, he can't
(37:07):
do anything to turn the audienceoff of him in terms of him being
a hero.
So through this movie, Howardlike breaks many laws, he
commits lots of crimes, he likeblows up police officers, aides
and a better radio bombing.
Well, yeah, Aides and a bet's inthe explosion with the post
office.
SPEAKER_02 (37:27):
Which I thought was very dark, like a dark scene.
Because he's like, people dothis, people people do this all
the time.
Oh, people do this all the time.
If I was watching that movieback then and people do this all
the time, I'd be like, Am Igonna get a bomb passed on a
mail?
SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
Well, I actually forgot that this this scene sort
of happened in the movie when Iwatched it this second time now.
But when he was running awayafter the police officer was
holding the bomb there, I waslike, surely that's not gonna
explode.
And then it does, like itexplodes in the building.
And I'm like, wow, this is alike 1996 comedy.
That is that has not aged wellin terms of anything like that.
And you probably couldn't getaway with it in a
family-friendly PG movienowadays.
(38:02):
That is not a thing that couldfly.
SPEAKER_02 (38:04):
But you know even though they do the whole
Lunatics thing where they goback and he's just like covering
soot.
SPEAKER_01 (38:09):
Watching Christmas movies in the last few weeks of
school, you have to be reallycareful what kind of PG movies
you put on because the kids evenknow as well.
You'll say, We we have to put ona G movie, you know.
But yeah, they will say, Is this90s PG?
And I was like, What do you meanby that?
And it's because 90s PGobviously can get away with it a
little bit more.
It's a very much a 90s PG movie,same as like Home Alone.
(38:30):
Like a lot of the violence inthat movie, that's a PG movie, a
Christmas movie as well.
Yeah, yeah.
And that just goes to show aswell, because those Looney Tunes
cartoons have changeddramatically across the years,
like from how they were in the90s to how they are right now.
And I think, you know, in theend, what I would have liked to
see to improve my rating of thismovie, we'll go into our ratings
(38:52):
now, but I would have actuallyliked to see the father, Howard
Langstrom, actually learn alesson and come to a complete
realization of our most valuabletakeaway, which is obviously
that time is what matters andnot toys, and that consistent
approach to his parenting iswhat the kid really wants.
And because it was completelyaccidental and because he thinly
veiled his change, and I justreally can't get behind the
(39:14):
movies.
So for me, I rated it half astar.
I didn't rate it very much atall.
Like it was fun, and I, you knowwhat, I think I'll bump that up
to one star because it was fun,it was funny, but the character,
the main character, just had noturnaround in the end.
And yes, I get that it's satireand there's not supposed to be
like a lesson that's supposed tobe learned here in that
particular sense, but I stilllike to see if that's the
(39:34):
message they're going for,especially in a Christmas.
Some some character growth.
Yeah, they should at least havesome character growth.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:41):
Yeah, I think for from a from a looking at like
from a naive perspective, it wasreally good.
From a two thousand perspective,it's uh less so it has
deteriorated for me.
SPEAKER_01 (39:55):
Yeah.
But I would agree.
But like even like even if ithad like a a This one sits at
number 30 on our Fandom Portalson Aboard.
And we have 32 movies on thereso far.
And this officially brings our2025 Fandom Portals on Aboard to
a close.
Because next year we are goingto be starting a brand new
(40:15):
Fandom Portals on Aboard.
Fresh start, new year, new us.
So yeah, if you wanted to checkout where some of our movies
landed, we're going to be doingsome social posts on it.
So go and join our socials,which is at Fandom Portals
Everywhere on Instagram andThreads is where we're most
active.
And you'll also see.
SPEAKER_02 (40:34):
Do you agree with us?
Do you not agree with us?
Would you something's higher orlower?
SPEAKER_01 (40:38):
Yeah, absolutely.
Because, you know, we take theaverage of both Brash and my
votes for the Fandom PortalsHonor Board, and that's where
they they sit.
So obviously you guys have a sayas well.
But yes, when we're looking atour honor board for next year,
we'll be doing somethingsimilar.
We might talk off air about howthat might change, but we will
also be doing an episode wherewe give away our fandos, which
(41:00):
I'm renaming.
This is the fandom portals.
The fandom portals picks waswhat was last year when we
picked our best hero, bestvillain, and then best movie of
2025.
So we're going to call them thefandos now instead of the fando
awards.
So we'll yeah, we'll have a lookat our honor board during that
episode, and we'll also revealour fandos, which is again voted
(41:21):
on through our social media andby Brash and myself too.
So with all that passed and outof the way, you probably won't
hear for us for a couple ofweeks, guys, but there's
definitely a big back cataloguefor you to investigate of uh
movies that we've done through2025.
We want to thank everybody,whether this is your first
episode or your 55th episodewith us.
You are all amazing people thathave come to the Phantom Porters
(41:43):
podcast.
So thank you so much for that.
And please make sure that youshare this with a friend because
it's the best thing that you cando for podcasters like us.
Gets us out there.
All right.
My gratitude, brash, for thisweek, is those people that still
put up Christmas lights on theirhouse.
If you're an internationallistener, I think you guys do
this in America too, or whereveryou're listening, but people put
(42:05):
Christmas lights on their houseand then people drive around and
look at people's lights.
It it was a dwindling thing inthe early 2000s, but I think
people are getting back into itnow, which is good, and it
really uplifts Christmas spirit,and it's something my kids love
and enjoy, and we get in the carand we listen to Carols, and
it's a great time.
So thank you to all those peoplethat put in the effort to light
up your house.
Appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02 (42:26):
My gratitude is all my friends, you and my
neighbors, I don't know, becauseI I'm spending Christmas uh by
choice, everyone.
Don't get too sad.
But I'm spending my Christmasalone.
But I have had offers fromyourself and others to say, hey,
if you want to, you can comejoin us.
Uh and I really, reallyappreciate that from all my
(42:47):
friends.
I think uh it's been a busy yearfor me this year, so I reckon a
bit of uh relaxation and rest uhand just being able to just
chill out and not have to worryabout anything, I think is gonna
do me some good.
Especially since I am actuallyworking over Christmas and New
Year's.
SPEAKER_01 (43:04):
That time will be definitely well deserved, I
think, Brash, because yes,you're a hard working person, so
I hope you enjoy it.
But yeah, always a phone callaway, man, if you or you know,
just drive and show up.
You know where I live.
All right, everybody, keeplearning, keep growing, keep
loving fandoms.
We'll see you in the new year.
Didn't a little delay a fun Christmas comedy or
a warning about replacing timewith toys.
Welcome to the Phantom Portals,the podcast that proves your
(00:22):
favorite films have something toteach you.
I'm Aaron, a teacher and alifelong film fan, and today I'm
here with my co-host Brash.
This week we have been lookingat the movie Jingle All the Way.
It was made in 1996, and thisone is part of our Christmas
special episode.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Christmas.
Yeah.
And this one was actually votedin by you guys, our community.
(00:43):
It beat out titles such as I'llBe Home for Christmas.
It beat out Rise of theGuardians.
It beat out Christmas Chronicle.
And it also beat out Klaus.
So you guys voted for this one,and you guys surprise us with
your votes all the time.
It's never the one that we couldpredict.
Hey, Brash.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01):
No.
No, I really didn't think thisone was going to make it at all.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Yeah, yeah.
I know it's got like a bit of acult following, or not really a
cult following, but it's like aa niche Christmas movie.
But, you know, there's the onesthat stand out that are your
must-watches, like everyonewatches The Grinch and everyone
does Home Alone almost everyyear.
So I think like this one cameout of a bit of a left field.
So all our suggestions also camefrom our community as well.
(01:24):
So yeah, here we go.
Jingle all the way.
So yeah, without any furtherado, Brash, do you want to give
us a film synopsis of Jingle Allthe Way starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger?
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
So Jingle all the way.
Parenting by credit card,capitalism by flamethrower.
Howard Langstrom is the kind ofdad who thinks showing up is
optional.
As long as the receipt isimpressive.
He misses Kafari class,birthdays, and basic human
connection.
But don't worry, he promises hisson Jamie the hottest toy on
earth.
Turbo Man, a plastic deityforged in the fires of
late-stage capitalism.
(01:56):
Naturally, Howard waits untilChristmas Eve to buy it because
playing is for people whoactually raise their kids.
He then discovers Turbo Man issold out everywhere, launching
him into a festive dystopiawhere moles become war zones,
grown adults commit feloniesover dolls, and corporations
quietly smile because artificialscarcity is their love language.
Enter Ted, a single dadneighbor, part baked goods
(02:19):
enthusiast, part emotionalvulture.
While Howard is gone all day,again, Ted spends his entire
movie aggressively orbitingHoward's wife like a suburban
shark.
He fixes things, bakes cookies,compliments her constantly, and
subtly suggests that if someonewere around more, she wouldn't
be so stressed.
Ted doesn't want Turbo Man, Tedwants Howard's wife.
(02:41):
Meanwhile, Howard gets arrestedfor toy crimes, is hunted by
police, and a postal workerwho's snapped under consumer
pressure.
Causes multiple car accidentsand loses all dignity.
All while insisting this is forhis son.
A child learning that loveequals products and dad only
appears during retailemergencies.
The movie ends with Howardaccidentally becoming Turbo Man
(03:03):
himself in a parade because inthis universe the only way to be
a good father is to literallybecome the brand.
Jamie finally loves him.
Not for emotional growth, butbecause Dai can now fly and
shoot discs.
Moral of the story is not to beemotionally present, not to be
not to respect your partner, andlet capitalism nearly kill you
while a horny neighbor tries tosteal your wife.
(03:24):
A heartwarming class Christmasclassic that boldly asks, what
if bad parenting, but make itfestive and aggressively
commercial?
SPEAKER_01 (03:33):
See, I think that is a really awesome synopsis.
And the like at the start ofthat, when you were describing
this movie in your way, I waslike, that actually sounds like
a good movie.
But this one, like somebody onour threads, they're named the
real Mike Gilberts and they saidworst period Christmas movie
period ever.
And, you know, it does notscream like holiday season in
(03:53):
terms of you know how mostChristmas movies show you that
like warm and festive sort ofmessage.
This is not that.
So if you're coming for aChristmas movie that has those
kind of vibes, this isdefinitely not the one.
But our takeaway for this one,Brad, was that consistently
showing up matters more thanlast-minute gestures because
connection is built through timeand not through things.
SPEAKER_02 (04:10):
Yeah.
And like at the end, he sort ofnods to the fact that he's going
to do that, but at no point doyou really like see it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
Promises the world and says, I will never do it
again.
I don't know if that's true.
SPEAKER_02 (04:24):
Oh, yeah.
They need to make a um jingleall the way to where he's
actually followed through what Ipromise him.
SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
But I think it's important to note for this movie
as well that obviously we arelooking at this through through
time being more important forparents to consider than than
than things, but we doacknowledge that this movie is
obviously satire.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Like this is and to be honest, like I did enjoy
watching this movie.
Like it was it was fun.
Like the m well like if youdon't think about any messaging
in this movie and just take itfor what it is, it's just a fun
movie of a dude running aroundtown trying to get a doll.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
Yeah, it is chaotic.
It is fun.
It is like um, let's say it'slike the not the prequel, let's
say it's the the gateway druginto like uncut gens in terms of
an anxious movie watch.
SPEAKER_03 (05:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
So yeah, so this is like satire, which means it's
it's it can be humorous or itcan be non-humorous, but it's
also a way that people like avehicle that is artistic
sometimes, not really in thiscase, but yeah, it's artistic in
the fact that it illuminates orexplores or critiques like a
social condition or a system ofpower.
And in this case, it wasobviously the marketing hysteria
that surrounded Christmas at thetime.
(05:31):
So and they use the character ofArnold Schwarzenegger's Howard
Langstrom as the the person thatwas the victim of that, you
could say.
Because I think, yeah, we'regonna talk about a few things in
this episode, including likeconsistency versing spectacle
when it comes to to fatherhoodand parenting, and then we're
also gonna talk about consumerguilt and how people weaponize
that, especially duringChristmas time.
(05:53):
And we're also, I want toactually talk a lot about the
mother here as well, because Ithink her emotional presence is
really overlooked throughout themovie.
She's there always for thisyoung man, and he's like
obviously Arnold gets thestarring point of the show
because he's Turbo Man, but Ithink she does a good job too.
But then also, there were somefamiliar 90s character tropes in
(06:14):
this movie that I want todiscuss, and we might touch on
that first, actually, becauseBrash, when I was watching this
movie, I was so like, I feellike I'd known these characters,
and I feel like they did that onpurpose.
And the character tropes and thecharacters that they're actually
portraying being HowardLangstrom and Ted, you know,
they're neighbours of eachother.
One is a bumbling father whomeans well but always seems to
(06:36):
fall on his face, and the otherone is their well-to-do neighbor
that everybody in the communityseems to be feeling like like
well-to-do enamored with and areenamored with, yeah.
So I feel like I've seen thatdynamic before, especially
during the 90s when this wasmade in 1996.
Like it screams The Simpsons tome.
Did you get that as well?
So think about it.
Because if you've got likeHoward as Arnold Schwarzenegger
(06:57):
being Homer, and then you've gotthis guy, Ted, Ned Flanders, and
I think there was also a pointin the movie where I saw him
wearing like a green sweater andhe's got the glasses too.
I'm like, this is literally NedFlanders.
Like he's always around, he'simposing his he's like being the
better dad and the communityfavorite.
And you know, later it'srevealed that obviously Ted is
overcorrecting for it for adivorce confession that he's
(07:19):
had.
But I think, yeah, familiarcharacters for me.
SPEAKER_02 (07:22):
One thing I do like about these Christmas movies
though is that they're allfairly unique compared to
nowadays.
Like nowadays, Netflix will pumpout like five to eight Christmas
movies, and they're all just thesame plot, just different uh
locations.
SPEAKER_01 (07:36):
Yes, that is very true.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:38):
So I I do I do like the fact that yeah, that these
movies try to do somethingdifferent.
And as we said earlier with thesatire, if you watch it that
way, it is like uh a warningagainst sort of these things
like uh like to not to get yourpresence early to save on trying
to buddy hustle and bustle andtrying to run around and uh
(08:00):
navigate through shopping andnavigate through all the crowds
of people and uh problems thatthat causes.
Also with the neglecting ofchildren and stuff like that,
like the whole moral of thestory is that the kid
realistically doesn't care aboutlike but then again, I feel
Jamie is a lot mature than somechildren.
(08:20):
I mean this movie.
Yeah, not to say that ch well,not to say that all children are
shit heads, but like I know whenI was a little kid, when I was
like five when I was like six,seven, I know that on my
birthday, I know I I could havebeen a little greedy little shit
too.
Uh it's yeah, it it's it's likeshows that I'm just being
present and uh like being aparty of a child's life is more
(08:44):
important than toys.
Because like honestly, thiscould have all been solved by
him just being like got to getto the toy before it's sold out.
I'll get you one.
I'll just have to wait untilthey're back in stock again.
For now, let's just uh hang outfor the day, play catch, yeah,
(09:06):
go to this parade, bake cookies,roll credits like that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
Yeah, I definitely think that's that's that's
something that came into my headtoo, because he could have
solved this all by telling thetruth, for one.
For two, I can I can see whyJamie wanted this toy so badly
because when I first watchedthis as a kid, I also wanted a
Turbo Man toy, and Thomas Craigon our threads said the same
because I always wanted that toyfor Christmas too.
So I can see where the theattraction comes, but I do agree
(09:34):
with what you said about Jamiebecause at the end, I wrote a
note here that said he'sprobably the most like
emotionally sort of correctcharacter when it comes to the
spirit of Christmas in thismovie because everybody's
falling into this consumermarketing trap, but the kid's
the one that goes, you knowwhat, Christmas is about giving,
let's give it to this guy that'sjust been villainous to
everybody, gives him the TurboMan special limited edition toy,
(09:58):
and basically just says, youknow, I've got the real Turbo
Man here, which is my dadanyway.
So you can see that he trulyjust wanted some time, and the
toy was just not really an issuefor him.
So the honesty probably wouldhave gone wonders.
But I think that's also apparentat the start of the movie
because the first time that wesee Howard actually letting his
son down, we will say, isobviously during the Missed
(10:20):
Karate tournament scene, andhe's you know, he's he's at his
workplace and he's answering allthe phone calls the same way,
and he says, You're my bestcustomer, you're my favorite
customer, and he's really justcollecting the numbers instead
of creating those personalrelationships.
So it's a real blatant way forus to say this guy cares about
his job and not really about thepersonal connections he's making
along the way.
(10:41):
And then everybody's warninghim, saying, You said that last
time, holding up the cards,which is a classic trope from
another Christmas movie that weall know and love.
SPEAKER_03 (10:48):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
And yeah, you know, you'll be late, you have to
leave now, and he's just pushingit, pushing it, pushing it until
you finally see obviously hewalks into the auditorium, it's
completely empty, and he goeshome and he's with his tail
between his legs.
And he faces his wife and he'sfull of excuses to start with,
but then one he does actuallymake a genuine apology to Jamie.
He does say that he's sorry.
Because I think overall, Howarddoesn't fail because he doesn't
(11:11):
care, he fails because hebelieves that like big gestures
will replace showing up in thelong run.
So the big promise that he giveshim is like, I'll get you a
turbo, man, this is gonna begreat, and we'll have lots of
awesome time playing with ittogether, instead of like a
genuine kind of apology andsaying, I stuffed up and I'm
gonna change my ways in the longrun.
So yeah, it makes a spectacleout of growth, but the real
connection is real connectionwith with kids is built quietly
(11:34):
and repeatedly and on purposeacross time.
And I think that was somethingthat I took from this movie
because yeah, I didn't reallythink that Howard was a was a
deadbeat kind of father.
Like I really did see that heloved his son.
SPEAKER_02 (11:47):
And the thing is, I reckon this movie probably hits
hard like hits harder nowadayswith the cost of living as it is
currently.
People have to focus on theirjust focus on work and work and
work and work purely just to beable to afford the basic needs
that needed to live.
So the fact that like I canunderstand uh his need to like
(12:11):
just want to work and work andwork so he can get that money so
he can give his family what theylike whatever they want.
Um and and like that does comewith sacrifices, unfortunately.
Um like but I think like back inthat, those days, uh the cost of
living wasn't so bad.
So him just working, working,working really had no other
consequence than just makingmore money, which I suppose is
(12:33):
never a bad thing, but that thathe does neglect his family when
realistically he didn't need to.
But having like a move like thiscome out now, I think would hit
harder with the whole like Ithink more outside would be more
understanding of power'sposition and be like, yeah,
that's what we can do.
We are we are working constantly24-7.
(12:55):
The only way we can make up withthat is by using that money that
we work so hard for to make abig gesture at one point in
time, to be like, oh, so we wantyou so much, but here's
something to like to show that Ireally care and I've been
thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:10):
Yeah, I can I can agree with that man, especially
because in this day and age,like modern dads, for example,
me, myself being one, I'm onlyspeaking for myself here, but
I'm sure there are others outthere that can resonate.
Like, I'm constantly dealingwith this guilt of like if they
if I spend a lot of time atwork, I'm providing for my
family, which is what my role isas a as a father and a parent
and a and a husband in a house.
(13:31):
But then at the same time,because I'm working, you don't
get time with me.
So you have to really strikethat balance.
And when that balance gets outor or misaligned, it can force
people to to do these grandgestures that Howard does at the
end of this movie or to likeoverpromise on occasion as well.
Because the last thing any dadwants to see is their kid being
(13:52):
let down, especially when it'sby them.
So like this time scarcity thateverybody has is a result of the
pressure that everybody'sfeeling to to work more.
And you know, it's it's adouble-edged sword now these
days, too, because when we'retalking about even mothers these
days, sometimes two incomehouseholds, like parents are
finding it hard to find timewith their kids.
And I feel like this movie wouldresonate more now, looking at
(14:15):
the cost of living in throughthat lens than it did back then.
Because, like, if you look atwhere they live, for example,
Howard's house is prettypristine, like it's a
good-looking house made of brickin a terraced sort of estate.
Obviously, they're they'rethey're well to do.
I don't think I saw that thewife Liz had like a job of any
(14:35):
kind that I could remember, butthey're in very sort of
traditional kind of roles inthat space.
But you know, this day and age,that is not really the norm for
families to be.
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
Usually you've got both parents working just to
make sure they can pay foreverything.
Because they're chuck, you know,well, you you know more than I
do because you have children Idon't, but um, they're
expensive.
SPEAKER_01 (14:57):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they are a definite pitfor money to go to.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
I have kids that have both parents working and
because they like they tell mehow much their daycare for a
week costs.
SPEAKER_01 (15:09):
Yeah.
Yeah, it is it is definitely abattle because then you're
obviously picking like daycareso you can both work, but then
you're balancing the thefinances there as well.
So it it's hard, man.
It's very hard.
And I I didn't feel that waywhen I was watching this because
I did see it a little bit fromHoward's perspective.
Whereas if I was watching thisas a kid, which I have done, I
was like, man, I hope that dadgets him that toy, because that
would be awesome.
(15:29):
Like that's what you think aboutwhen you kind of watch it.
But yeah, I could definitely seethe panic in Howard's eyes, in
in Arnold Schwarzenegger's eyes,as he was failing his son, sort
of like time and time again, andjust really desperate to make
that grand gesture to actuallypull through on Christmas and
you know not let his son down.
But you know, Jamie is like thatemotional mirror in this case
(15:49):
because he he does kind of lowerhis expectations to protect the
connection that he has with hishis dad, like and he accepts
responsibility and effort andand accountability when it
really shouldn't have been hisaccountability to take, like
when they're fighting on thephone.
SPEAKER_02 (16:04):
On fighting on the phone, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah.
So obviously that was himsoaking up that emotional
responsibility that obviouslyHoward should have should have
sort of focused on.
But again, it goes back to thefact that Jamie was probably the
one who's embodying the spiritof Christmas and good spirit
more so than Yeah, even afterlike when he's on the phone,
he's like he like he no mentionof any toys or anything like
(16:25):
that.
SPEAKER_02 (16:25):
He's just well, he's like, I want you home so you can
come to the parade.
unknown (16:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:30):
As anything you ask for.
Yep.
And Dad's like, but I have torun around and get this toy for
you when he could just be like,yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_01 (16:38):
Go to the parade.
Yeah.
Like he missed the point on thatpart, yeah.
And you know, some people wouldbe tearing their hair out at
that point as well.
But I think he was just so deepin the struggle of wanting to
get the toy.
Because, you know, let's move onto talk about like consumer
guilt and marketing beingweaponized, because even in this
movie, they s they make a satireof it.
You can see it through thecharacter of Myron and the post
(16:58):
office character because he sitsin that dino with Howard after
he's failed a few times, and hesays, You know why I hate
Christmas is because my daddidn't get me this toy that one
time.
And then, you know, it goes downthat rabbit hole of Howard
actually envisioning his son inMyron's uniform drinking from
the bottle, and he's thecautionary tale that he doesn't
want to repeat.
(17:19):
So he has to get this Turbo Mantoy for his son.
But like that, like things likethis actually happened in the in
the 80s and the 90s.
So marketing companies withcabbage patch kids is one that I
looked up, where they initiallylaunched in 1983 and they sold
for like$25 apiece, but becausethey limited their stock and re
and and sold them out soquickly, demand vastly exceeded
(17:42):
the supply.
So people were reselling thesedolls for$100 to$500.
And then the news outlets at thetime were marketing it and
making it even worse becausethey were showing people like
fighting in stores, showingphysical aggression.
There was people in hospitals,and then also stores were
including these ticketingsystems to purchase items on a
limited basis, but also to likecontrol the crowds, as we saw in
(18:06):
this movie too, with the lotterysystem with the bulls, which was
probably my favorite scene, bythe way, just because of how
much mayhem was occurringthroughout the world.
SPEAKER_02 (18:14):
Everyone just went apeshit and yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yeah.
But it it's not uncommon becausethese marketing companies and
even the toy retailers, likecabbage patch kids, for example,
they were sold with likeadoption papers.
So it's like this emotionalresponsibility is coupled with
the toy, and you know, the kidhad to get the toy because all
the ads told the parents thatthey had to get it, and the toy
equaled love, especially duringthis sort of time of year.
(18:38):
And then coincidentally, I alsoread that when this movie came
out, when they're pretty muchlike taken the piss out of
people doing this at shops in1983, it happened the same year
this movie came out in 1996 witha tickle me elmo doll.
Like over five million unitswere sold, and it was
deliberately under-supplied forrelease.
So it would create thiswidespread increasing panic, and
(19:01):
like national programs were wereall on it, and there would be
news stories on a nightly basisthat would say, like, this is
where the Elmo shortage is at atthis minute.
So it's like it's so weaponizedto the point where this
corporate marketing is just it'sso indoctrinating for everybody
and all these families,especially this time of year,
(19:21):
because the culture exploitsthese working parents and it
turns that parental guilt intocompetition between other
parents that are trying to dothe same thing as you.
But then framing love assomething that can be proven and
driven by purchase.
So it's it's definitely satiringthat really, really well.
But I found it reallyinteresting that it was satiring
something and then that verysame year deciding that they
(19:44):
were satiring.
So yeah, it just goes to showscarcity, object scarcity is
something that they're doingthrough like laboobus and things
like that now, too.
SPEAKER_02 (19:52):
I was gonna say laboo boos are like the new sort
of cage patch kids.
Yeah.
Like even South Park did a umlabos were Like one of the new
um show like new episodes ofSeth Park was all about laboo
boos.
And how like if you get thespecial like one of the special
edition laboo-boos, you can dolike a blood ritual.
(20:13):
Oh my god.
Stop and Christmas and shit.
It was like but uh it was allabout yeah, the boo boos and
you're like trying to get likethe most most rare ones.
I think luckily lucky for usnowadays because it's so easy to
get your hands on things throughonline and like no one really
has to go into the stores toreally get things anymore.
(20:35):
You can just order online andhave it delivered to you.
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
Yeah.
Also, also in terms of likeadvertising, I think in the 90s
it was a lot easier foradvertisers to get their product
in front of people.
Yeah, and now because ofstreaming, obviously we see a
few ads here and there, but youcan pay to remove those ads.
I don't think I've seen a properad for a really long time,
except for obviously signagewhen you're driving around.
(20:59):
But I think it was very muchpart of the zeitgeist back then,
as you know, you saw the thefilm or the the the
advertisement and it wasreplayed over and over and over
again.
Like you remember those old 90saction figure commercials?
Like they were so cool to watch,and I actually miss watching
them sometimes because they werereally, really cool.
But you don't see anything likethat really anymore, at least in
(21:20):
Australia.
I'm not sure what it's like inother countries because
obviously you don't watch TV inother countries, but in
Australia, it's very difficultto see ads on anything other
than like gambling or fast food.
This movie especially realrelies on that Christmas
pressure cooker, and obviouslythe in this case it's the
working fathers, but in in timeit's been working parents
because there's that time guiltwhich already exists, but it's
(21:41):
also like it's time to make upfor the year that you obviously
have been working all this time.
And you know, I I do, as we saidbefore, I do sympathize with
with working parents in thisspace, and I think it's really
hard time of year for a lot ofpeople as well.
So just going back before wemove on as well, on that like
being there consistently foryour kids is better than like
(22:02):
one grand gesture and thingslike that.
You know, I think an unpopularopinion that you might say
around this sort of aspect isobviously you have to kind of it
goes back to putting your ownoxygen mask on first.
If you're like tapped out, or ifyou really feeling the pressure
in these kinds of situations ofconsistently like showing up for
(22:22):
your kids, there is obviouslythat guilt that you have to be
able to do and provideeverything that you can.
But there is also a lot to sayabout being able to, you know,
take five, ten minutes when youneed to, go and find a space or
do something, or if you can likeask your partner or whoever to
to have the children for thatmoment.
But obviously showing up is isgood, but you have to be ready
(22:45):
and able emotionally to show upas well.
So obviously Howard's goingthrough a lot of stress at this
time, but also you know, thereis that that part that we kind
of have to look at as well.
Whereas there is that pressureto be there, and you know, time
is better than than toys.
Yes, absolutely, but make surethat time is spent quality
(23:05):
instead of quantity, yeah.
So I I actually was speaking tosomebody about this when I was
having some trouble with it.
And because I used to work away,and when I'd come back, I'd only
have an hour or so in theafternoon to spend with my kids,
and it was really getting medown that I was unable to do
that and I was feeling that thatguilt and that pressure.
But one thing that this personsaid to me was it's not about if
(23:27):
you have three hours with yourkids, it's if you have one hour
or ten minutes or 30 minuteswith your kid, and that actually
just is time with your kid, youknow?
So it's not about the amount,it's about the quality, which I
think is important for people toto understand and know, and also
like be easy on yourself becausemost parents that I know are
(23:50):
probably doing way better thanthey give themselves credit for.
So 100%.
Especially this time of year.
It's very hard for a lot ofpeople.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
So acknowledging that even like I've got single
parent friends that just I Idon't know how they do it.
Like they impress me every dayabout like they'd be able to
keep it together.
Like, I don't know, I don't knowhow I go in there shoes.
Yeah, no, it's definitely likeany time is better than no time
and quality time, like doingsomething like you know, like
(24:20):
even even like you're like, I'vegot 20 minutes, going to Kim,
like and you mean saying likewhat do you want to do?
And then just taking whateverthey say and just running with
it.
Yeah, just absolutely how longyou can just doing what they
want to do, and then at the endthey're probably gonna be like,
Oh no, can we go 10 moreminutes, five minutes?
And you're like, I wish yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
And you know, my kids are at an age now where
they just really want to just dowhatever you're doing.
So yeah, and I I think there isan age bracket where this is
probably appropriate andapplies, but even if you find
yourself like short on time orlike the day's running away from
you if you've got all theseshorts to do, like there is
nothing my son likes to do morethan hang out or washing.
Like, I don't know where he gotthat from, but like it's not you
(25:01):
you could say that it's qualitytime because we do that together
and we talk and it's a job thatwe're sort of doing side by
side.
But is it a big grand gesture?
Am I wearing a turbo man suit?
No.
So it's it's looking at thoselittle things that you do in the
everyday that provides thatconnection.
And yes, those big gestures aregood every now and then because
it's great to have thosememories as a as a family, but
(25:22):
also like you will look back oneday and remember the times when
you hung out the washing orplanted that that tree in the
garden or watered the lawn or heswept the the clippings off the
driveway while you mowed thegrass.
Like that's not big stuff, butit's still that quality and it's
still what we're talking abouthere in terms of consistency
versus the spectacle of ofparenting.
(25:44):
So, and also over the bigmassive gift that you can get.
And you know, nothing wrong withthat if that's what you want to
do.
But yeah, I just I really wantpeople to sort of know and
understand that sometimes that'sgood enough is good enough, as
I've said before.
And we're often our own harshestcritic.
So with us on this, do you wantto start looking at Liz was the
(26:05):
character's name in this movieJingle all the way?
Like the the emotional labour ofthe mother in this case, where
she's sort of always there,she's that constant presence.
I think Ted is definitely framedas the better male role model,
but his presence so creepy, socreepy, so creepy.
And it's also very performative.
What he's doing is veryperformative.
(26:26):
So you can see that he'sobviously there helping all of
the ladies who require ahandyman around the house.
And that was very obviouslysatired in the movie at the
start in the karate scene aswell.
And then, you know, him being onthe roof fixing the Christmas
lights for Howard when he gothome is just like an invasion as
well of you know, time and andin your your sort of space
(26:47):
there.
But he's he was definitely a bitof a like overcorrector, and
he's seeking these validatingbehaviours because he had that
that divorce, and it's revealedthrough the kid, he's just like
he's been great ever since wehad the divorce.
Like yeah, and I think that'syou know, he's he's also
self-focused, like Howard isself-focused in terms of his
job, but Ted is also prettyself-focused, but it's through a
(27:09):
different lens.
His lens is obviously throughtrying to appear or perform in
front of the crowd as awell-to-do dad, but he's also
doing massive gestures, likegetting the reindeer, for
example.
Like, what is that all about?
Like, he's overcompensating forthat, but it's it's a lesson
that both of them learn a littlebit too late.
And you know, Liz, the themother in this situation, is
(27:31):
sort of caught in the middle ofboth of these men.
Yeah, and you know, has to dealwith male bravado.
In this movie as well, maleredemption is prioritized
because Arnold Howard Langstromgets that Turbo Man moment where
he accidentally fumbles into thesuit and joins the parade, and
then he's allowed to pick outhis son from the crowd,
(27:52):
completely rigging the system.
And the whole time, like Liz isstanding there with him having
taken him to the parade, and shenever gets her her kudos or her
parade for taking him to theparade or the karate, but you
know I think the only thing shegets is it Howard at the end
going, I've taken both of youbiographs for granted, and I
won't that won't happen again,and that's it.
Yeah, thumbs up.
I'm sure you have not said thatbefore, but yeah, um, I think
(28:15):
her like her emotional labour inthis movie is absolutely
invisible because yeah, shealways shows up for Jamie, she's
always there remind also doinglike the reminding of the
household stuff, like Howard,did you pick up that toy that I
asked you to like a week and ahalf ago?
But yeah, I think that herconstant presence is what the
film fails to value in favour ofobviously that like because the
(28:38):
caregiving in this is obviouslytreated as expected, but yeah, I
think that Arnold's redemptionthrough this movie is is
foregrounded through histurboman gesture.
SPEAKER_02 (28:48):
Well, and even Liz, like when Ted is always subtly
trying to shit on Howard, likeall the way through the movie,
she's always like propping himup and trying to like defend him
the whole way through, up untilthe scene where he's trying to
steal the present from on eachthat tree.
SPEAKER_01 (29:08):
Too far that one, yeah.
You can't defend that.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
Yeah, so the whole way through though, she he was
she was just defending him,defending him, defending him,
uh, all the while, like allthings she's defending him for,
he's like currently doing.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
Yeah, and kudos to her as well, because you know,
when the chips were down, he'sobviously let her down heaps,
and like Ted saw that as hisopportunity to like swoop in and
and take what he was reallydoing all this performative
stuff for, obviously beingHoward's wife.
She was just like, no, andcontinued to go about her her
business as as she does.
So yeah, I I like that aspect ofthis movie where they didn't
(29:41):
make the the mother sort of fallinto those sort of patterns.
I think Liz Langstrom was a verystrong character too.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Well, I think I I do love is when Ted is putting the
start up on the tree.
In that scene, you see Liz comein and she's visibly angry, and
then straight away it cussed heroutside to Howard looking into
the window, and there she is,and she looks like she's
laughing and smiling.
How'd she get to that point whenshe came in visibly angry about
him putting up a star?
And then maybe she was laughingand laughing.
SPEAKER_01 (30:07):
Yeah, maybe from the back that's what it kind of
looked like, a lot of flailingaround that could be mistaken as
doing it like both ways.
SPEAKER_02 (30:13):
No, no, like I I made sure I've like stopped and
looked at it.
Yeah, she was like in that, likelooking at they I think they
were directed to look like ahappy sort of uh scene of like
say like PM and P Pan's lookingthrough window Wendy's window
and sees the thing happy andjovial.
That's like the sort of thingthat they sort of think like
he's meant to be looking throughand sees Liz happy and Ted happy
(30:36):
and uh like sort of Ted stealinghis life sort of thing.
Uh which also helps him tip himover the edge.
But yeah, so I thought I thoughtthat was funny because that goes
from like a scene where she'sangry and then cuts and she's
like all happy and jovial.
SPEAKER_01 (30:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (30:49):
And then cuts back in again, then she's just sort
of reprimanding him.
SPEAKER_01 (30:54):
No, I I think that's definitely a point too, because
one of the reasons that thismovie kind of works is because
they did cast ArnoldSchwarzenegger in that title
role, because you've probablyseen it a few times now where
the big burly actor goes anddoes like a kid-friendly or
family sort of role.
And this was coming off the backof like kindergarten cop and
(31:14):
things like that, and he waskind of starting to change his
trajectory into the kinds ofmovies that he was doing.
So I think that that star powerreally changes the audience's
alignment because if you look atwhat Howard Langstrom's doing,
he's he's like a buffoon,really.
He's jealous, he's inattentiveto his family, but still a lot
of the people watching thismovie would would root for him
and want him to get that toy andwant him to be successful.
(31:36):
Whereas a lot of the peoplewatching seeing Ted being, you
know, in quote marks, sincereand doing all of these actions
that do appear to be what Tedshould be doing.
Like he's obviously foregroundedas like the villain, in quote
marks, as well.
So coming in and being the beingthe home wrecker.
SPEAKER_02 (31:52):
Also how he how he plays it too.
So if they had Ted and he wasn'tuh played off so creepily and
played off more sincere, peoplewould probably more brute for
Ted being the good guy, butbecause I can't know who that
was, he's Ted Phil Hartmann.
Yeah, Phil Hartman.
(32:13):
The way he plays it is like spoton, like from the very get-go,
the way he just the way hetalks.
It's slime, isn't it?
Slimy, very slimy, and likestrawberry, you know, yeah,
that's a bad guy.
But what if you had a playedthat sincere, then I'll like
I'll be like hey man, coward, uhtake notes.
(32:33):
This is how you should beacting.
Yeah, um yeah, because he comesoff slimy, you know, like he has
ulterior motives.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't actually mind mind ifat the very start he was uh
played it very sincere, and itwas very sincere, normal.
And then so you're sort of likeyeah, why are you more like Ted?
And then as the storyprogressed, you get slimier and
(32:56):
slimier, and you're like, Yes,there it is.
There it is, there's the villaincoming out of the shadows, yes,
yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (33:05):
But yeah, I actually think that like Arnold's casting
was pretty important in terms ofgetting the audience on side
because he's obviously him himbeing in a physical sort of
comedy space is entertaining andfun to watch, and his
frustration becomes likeslapstick in that space, and it
doesn't become something thatthe audiences are looking at and
(33:25):
saying, like, his his flaws arereally detrimental to the point
where you hate the character.
Like it's it's actually and Ithink the the Homer Simpson
trope where we were talkingabout how Howard is sort of the
bumbling, unassuming father thatis trying his best but fails
anyway, is and the the alignmentwith that, especially in the
90s, was a really big emotionalshortcut for these filmmakers to
(33:46):
do because you're familiar withHomer and you like Homer.
So you'll like Howard, who isexactly the same.
SPEAKER_02 (33:50):
So those are I love how they so because like Ted is
the first one to sort of push itout.
He's like, Oh, I must you can'tmuscle your way out of this one.
Um bench press your way out ofthis one.
Blah blah blah.
Suggesting that he is a bigstrong guy.
But realistically, nowhere, likenowhere at the start of this
(34:12):
movie or anything like that doesit show him like uh taking phone
calls like at the gym oranything, like showing that he's
uh spends time actually workingout.
He's just a big dude apparently.
Um because it like would itwouldn't pay off at the end.
And um I think in a way, to likethe point you're saying, uh he
was a very good casting becausethe clothes he wore were really
(34:34):
baggy, if you noticed, and it'sto make him sort of hide his
bulk.
SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
Yeah, moving away from that action movie audience
uh sort of appeal, but also likenodding to the parents or the
people in the audience that knowthat's where he's come from with
that bench pressing comment thatyou mentioned earlier.
SPEAKER_02 (34:49):
So he was a big dude, but he sort of hides it
with his clothes, so he doesn'treally appear.
So like him like if he waswalking around like a tank top
like he did in Predator, likeyou wouldn't really believe that
he's some corporate dick.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
Well, that that parade scene was probably as a
kid watching that, it was reallythe best part because obviously
his dad turns into thesuperhero, and he does kind of
play off on that that stereotypeand that motif of every young
boy thinks that his dad's hishis biggest hero.
So it it plays off on that, andat the end he actually says
that, you know, it's like I'vegot the real turbo man right
(35:23):
here.
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
So I think also I thought it was a bit weird.
I'm like, I've got the realturbo man here, and like, hey,
your dad turned up late to theparade.
SPEAKER_01 (35:31):
Well, that's the thing.
Do you think he would haveadmitted that he did that by
accident, or do you think hewould have been like, Yes, I
planned this all along?
The reason I couldn't come tothe parade with you, son, is
because I played I was here tosave the day.
I was here to put you in mortaldanger.
SPEAKER_02 (35:44):
Because uh because that James Harris R was like,
Oh, but real serious man, ohreal happy ending.
But I was like looking at uhwhen I was looking at I was
like, what concluded he?
What was the conclusion?
SPEAKER_01 (35:55):
That's exactly why I thought this movie was pretty
atrocious, because in the end,nothing really concluded to the
point where the character learntany kind of lesson.
SPEAKER_02 (36:03):
Like he he basically he didn't demonstrate any
lessons, like he just flewaround in a suit to stuff that I
mean are physically impossible,but I thought he was so being
stupid by like flying into wallsand stuff and basically
screaming up while his kid's indanger climbing across rooftops,
uh and only at the last secondwhen he's falling does he catch
(36:26):
him.
Like at no point is there likeuh the whole point of the story
is the fact that he needs to bearound his family more.
At no point does it show thatsort of progression.
SPEAKER_01 (36:36):
No, except for that that thinly veiled sentence he
says at the end where he's like,I'll never.
SPEAKER_02 (36:43):
And I think for me show it, we didn't see it.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
Yeah, and you know what?
His like throughout the wholemovie as well, there's this
thing that happens with withlike anti-heroes as well, but
also in this movie, where thecause that the hero has, in this
case getting the Turbo Mandolfor his son, in in the space
where the hero goes from A to Bto achieve that goal, he can't
(37:07):
do anything to turn the audienceoff of him in terms of him being
a hero.
So through this movie, Howardlike breaks many laws, he
commits lots of crimes, he likeblows up police officers, aides
and a better radio bombing.
Well, yeah, Aides and a bet's inthe explosion with the post
office.
SPEAKER_02 (37:27):
Which I thought was very dark, like a dark scene.
Because he's like, people dothis, people people do this all
the time.
Oh, people do this all the time.
If I was watching that movieback then and people do this all
the time, I'd be like, Am Igonna get a bomb passed on a
mail?
SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
Well, I actually forgot that this this scene sort
of happened in the movie when Iwatched it this second time now.
But when he was running awayafter the police officer was
holding the bomb there, I waslike, surely that's not gonna
explode.
And then it does, like itexplodes in the building.
And I'm like, wow, this is alike 1996 comedy.
That is that has not aged wellin terms of anything like that.
And you probably couldn't getaway with it in a
family-friendly PG movienowadays.
(38:02):
That is not a thing that couldfly.
SPEAKER_02 (38:04):
But you know even though they do the whole
Lunatics thing where they goback and he's just like covering
soot.
SPEAKER_01 (38:09):
Watching Christmas movies in the last few weeks of
school, you have to be reallycareful what kind of PG movies
you put on because the kids evenknow as well.
You'll say, We we have to put ona G movie, you know.
But yeah, they will say, Is this90s PG?
And I was like, What do you meanby that?
And it's because 90s PGobviously can get away with it a
little bit more.
It's a very much a 90s PG movie,same as like Home Alone.
(38:30):
Like a lot of the violence inthat movie, that's a PG movie, a
Christmas movie as well.
Yeah, yeah.
And that just goes to show aswell, because those Looney Tunes
cartoons have changeddramatically across the years,
like from how they were in the90s to how they are right now.
And I think, you know, in theend, what I would have liked to
see to improve my rating of thismovie, we'll go into our ratings
(38:52):
now, but I would have actuallyliked to see the father, Howard
Langstrom, actually learn alesson and come to a complete
realization of our most valuabletakeaway, which is obviously
that time is what matters andnot toys, and that consistent
approach to his parenting iswhat the kid really wants.
And because it was completelyaccidental and because he thinly
veiled his change, and I justreally can't get behind the
(39:14):
movies.
So for me, I rated it half astar.
I didn't rate it very much atall.
Like it was fun, and I, you knowwhat, I think I'll bump that up
to one star because it was fun,it was funny, but the character,
the main character, just had noturnaround in the end.
And yes, I get that it's satireand there's not supposed to be
like a lesson that's supposed tobe learned here in that
particular sense, but I stilllike to see if that's the
(39:34):
message they're going for,especially in a Christmas.
Some some character growth.
Yeah, they should at least havesome character growth.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:41):
Yeah, I think for from a from a looking at like
from a naive perspective, it wasreally good.
From a two thousand perspective,it's uh less so it has
deteriorated for me.
SPEAKER_01 (39:55):
Yeah.
But I would agree.
But like even like even if ithad like a a This one sits at
number 30 on our Fandom Portalson Aboard.
And we have 32 movies on thereso far.
And this officially brings our2025 Fandom Portals on Aboard to
a close.
Because next year we are goingto be starting a brand new
(40:15):
Fandom Portals on Aboard.
Fresh start, new year, new us.
So yeah, if you wanted to checkout where some of our movies
landed, we're going to be doingsome social posts on it.
So go and join our socials,which is at Fandom Portals
Everywhere on Instagram andThreads is where we're most
active.
And you'll also see.
SPEAKER_02 (40:34):
Do you agree with us?
Do you not agree with us?
Would you something's higher orlower?
SPEAKER_01 (40:38):
Yeah, absolutely.
Because, you know, we take theaverage of both Brash and my
votes for the Fandom PortalsHonor Board, and that's where
they they sit.
So obviously you guys have a sayas well.
But yes, when we're looking atour honor board for next year,
we'll be doing somethingsimilar.
We might talk off air about howthat might change, but we will
also be doing an episode wherewe give away our fandos, which
(41:00):
I'm renaming.
This is the fandom portals.
The fandom portals picks waswhat was last year when we
picked our best hero, bestvillain, and then best movie of
2025.
So we're going to call them thefandos now instead of the fando
awards.
So we'll yeah, we'll have a lookat our honor board during that
episode, and we'll also revealour fandos, which is again voted
(41:21):
on through our social media andby Brash and myself too.
So with all that passed and outof the way, you probably won't
hear for us for a couple ofweeks, guys, but there's
definitely a big back cataloguefor you to investigate of uh
movies that we've done through2025.
We want to thank everybody,whether this is your first
episode or your 55th episodewith us.
You are all amazing people thathave come to the Phantom Porters
(41:43):
podcast.
So thank you so much for that.
And please make sure that youshare this with a friend because
it's the best thing that you cando for podcasters like us.
Gets us out there.
All right.
My gratitude, brash, for thisweek, is those people that still
put up Christmas lights on theirhouse.
If you're an internationallistener, I think you guys do
this in America too, or whereveryou're listening, but people put
(42:05):
Christmas lights on their houseand then people drive around and
look at people's lights.
It it was a dwindling thing inthe early 2000s, but I think
people are getting back into itnow, which is good, and it
really uplifts Christmas spirit,and it's something my kids love
and enjoy, and we get in the carand we listen to Carols, and
it's a great time.
So thank you to all those peoplethat put in the effort to light
up your house.
Appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02 (42:26):
My gratitude is all my friends, you and my
neighbors, I don't know, becauseI I'm spending Christmas uh by
choice, everyone.
Don't get too sad.
But I'm spending my Christmasalone.
But I have had offers fromyourself and others to say, hey,
if you want to, you can comejoin us.
Uh and I really, reallyappreciate that from all my
(42:47):
friends.
I think uh it's been a busy yearfor me this year, so I reckon a
bit of uh relaxation and rest uhand just being able to just
chill out and not have to worryabout anything, I think is gonna
do me some good.
Especially since I am actuallyworking over Christmas and New
Year's.
SPEAKER_01 (43:04):
That time will be definitely well deserved, I
think, Brash, because yes,you're a hard working person, so
I hope you enjoy it.
But yeah, always a phone callaway, man, if you or you know,
just drive and show up.
You know where I live.
All right, everybody, keeplearning, keep growing, keep
loving fandoms.
We'll see you in the new year.
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