March 4, 2025 • 62 mins
What if the strongest thing a father can say is, “I can’t fix myself or my kids—but God can!” We lean into that risky honesty and discover how humility, confession, and grace reshape families facing addiction, secrecy, and shame. Guided by the story of the withered hand, we unpack why we hide our wounds, how stigma isolates sons and daughters, and what happens when dads go first and stretch out what they’ve been hiding.
• Naming addiction as a family reality, not just a child’s issue
• The withered hand as a picture of hidden shame
• Why powerlessness is the start of spiritual change
• Modeling confession and forgiveness to children
• Swapping lectures for listening and safety
• Boundaries that protect without enabling
• Prayer that admits limits and invites God in
• Creating a home where kids tell on themselves
• Practical next step: Acknowledge your hurt to God
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlassen.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
Well, welcome.
I'm I'm your host, Ed TennyMcGlassen, and I am uh grateful
to be with you on uh Tuesdaynight here, Tuesday night live.
And we have people coming infrom Instagram and Rumble and
Facebook, both pages, and a lotof things going on in the world
(01:40):
today.
And tonight, kind of topic andshow that I'm working on, I'm
gonna turn off my phone ringerbecause I want to stay focused
in on what's going on here.
Is a dad dealing with, and maybeyour mom dealing with childhood
(02:00):
addiction in your family?
There's how many of you have hada child or or even yourself in a
battle?
You get in this battle for theirvery soul, their their heart,
they keep going back and forthand kind of stuck in this place
(02:21):
of incredible pain and andthings that they're kind of
broken in.
And you're not sure what to do.
You've you've tried everything.
You've sent them to rehab,you've taken them to church,
you've tried to cast demons outof them.
You've, you know, you've doneeverything you know to do as a
(02:42):
parent, and yet they keepgetting worse and worse, and in
some cases they uh cut theirlife short.
Because there's one thing that'strue is that the enemy is going
to do a lot of things to try tonot only knock you out of the
game, dad, or if you're a momwatching, he wants to get your
(03:04):
kids.
He wants to give them a lifetimeof misery and sorrow and and in
a place of really being you knowoverwhelmed, unable to really do
their life because the drugs orwhatever they're the alcohol or
whatever those things is they'reusing to kind of connect to
(03:29):
their own selves kind of takesover.
And so it's a it's a typical uhstrategy of the enemy.
And so we're gonna we're gonnaget right into it and talk about
uh things that you can do tohelp them and at the same time
(03:50):
get hope that it's not all onyou, dad or mom, to make your
kid sober.
Matter of fact, we can't even dothat with our own lives.
How are we gonna do that withwith a child that we love?
And so I want to start out, andI want to start out with a story
(04:11):
that's in the Bible that's justincredibly powerful.
It's one of those people thatJesus healed that didn't ask for
healing, he didn't raise hishand for healing.
He was somebody who was in acrowd, who was always in crowds,
(04:31):
but hidden because he had aproblem.
He had a withered hand thatmarked him most of his life.
And so let's look at this storyin Matthew.
You know, Jesus went on fromthere and and and entered a
synagogue.
(04:53):
And a man was there with awithered hand.
And they asked him, is it lawfulto heal on the Sabbath?
It doesn't it doesn't seem toindicate that they're talking
about the man with a witheredhand.
Because in their culture, if youhad some kind of deformity or
(05:14):
you had some kind of issue, youget you you had a stigma put on
you.
And uh some believed in some ofthe the the teaching in the old
testament and and that thatwithered hand could be was a
part maybe of the father's sinor the or the life you know they
(05:36):
had before that uh somehow God'snot blessing them.
There was a there was a uhidentifying mark upon this man
every time he's in public.
It reminds me of a you knowbeing in Bandoon, Indonesia, and
I was in a crowd of you knowmostly Muslim people, and a girl
(06:03):
uh invited me into the uh andcame over to me and asked me if
I would pray for her school.
And and I said, Well, what's theschool?
And she told me, she said that,you know, in our country here in
Indonesia, if a child has adeformity, many times the the
parents kind of give them up andand they put them in these
(06:27):
special schools, but they livein these schools, they're
separated from their familiesbecause they don't want other
people to think that Allah isangry with them and His
punishing their children as aresult with the deformity.
Much like the man with awithered hand in the story of
(06:49):
Jesus.
People are looking at him, andand so she brings all these kids
to me, and they had differentissues.
They had deafness, they had uhphysical issues, they there was
a boy kind of in the middle witha turned-in ankle.
He was actually walking on hisankle bone, and he was drooling
(07:12):
out of his mouth, and it lookedas though he had you know some
level of mental handicap.
And then there were differentkids with different deformities
in this school, and so I'mstanding here going, God, who do
I pray for?
And this boy stook out.
(07:33):
The one that stood out was a boythat was walking on his foot
sideways and almost on his anklebone, and he he was drooling out
of his mouth, and I and I askedher, I said, What uh what's
wrong with him?
And he said, uh, and she said tome, Well, he uh he's never
(07:56):
spoken, he's uh mute, and we'renot sure if he's got some mental
kind of handicap, but he hasn'the's he doesn't speak and he
doesn't hear, so he's deaf andhe's mute, and so I can tell
that he's never been prayed for.
(08:16):
So I, you know, I'm reallygentle with him, and I, you
know, I lean in really close andI'm going, God, show me how to
pray.
Because this is like, see, thisis a Muslim boy from a Muslim
school that is put in a schoolbecause of his handicap.
(08:37):
If you're just tuning in, anumber of jumping on right now,
and so I'm going, Lord, show mewhat to do.
And scripture's kind of flowingthrough my brain of the way
Jesus you know prayed for peoplethat were deaf.
And and so I leaned in reallyclose and I put my hands on them
(09:00):
gently, because in that culture,you know, and as a Muslim, you
you know, a Muslim man or woman,they don't want somebody to put
their hands on them that maybeyou're not, you know, of their
faith.
And so, especially a gentile,you know, a big white guy.
And so I I leaned in and verygently on his face, I leaned in
(09:28):
to his ear, and I said, I loveJesus.
And I gotta tell you, friends,it was it was unbelievable what
happened.
And it took it took about 10 or15 seconds, and he just started
(09:49):
batting his eyes, and he looksat me and he says, I love Jesus.
In one moment, I mean, just in asupernatural moment, where I
didn't say be healed in the nameof Jesus, I just spoke the name
(10:10):
of Jesus, you know, into thislittle boy's ear.
And he was about, I would say,14 or 15 years old.
I love Jesus.
And he kept screaming it, I loveJesus, I love Jesus.
Now in a Muslim community,they're all like, what in the
heck is going on?
And I prayed for him and hestarted weeping as this
(10:34):
supernatural miracle, miraclepower of God just fell on him.
And he's just completely,completely being restored.
And that just then, all of the,and the and the gal, the the
Muslim teacher is just weeping.
She's never seen her studentshealed before.
(10:54):
She started bringing otherstudents forward, and we began
to pray.
And the ministry team startedseeing deafness healed and one
blind eye open, and just amazingthings happening in this group
of kids that were marked withthe stigma and thrown away in
culture where people go, Well, Iknow what's going on with them.
(11:17):
It's interesting how we do thatto people.
Sometimes we see homeless peopleand we go, oh yeah, we know
their story.
You know, we were so quick toyou know, put a stigma on
somebody and and make and theyjust feel kind of invisible.
You know, you you see themdriving on the freeway, standing
there with a sign.
(11:37):
And it's so easy to not stop andand to bless them in in some
way, and and just keep on.
They feel invisible.
And I mean, it was it wasincredible.
And I had an altar call at theend.
It was uh extraordinary, it'snot the word that I could use,
because so many people stood upand gave their life to Christ at
(11:59):
the display of Jesus' love andpower over this Muslim school.
Imagine the parents gettingtheir son back who now speaks.
And I I didn't finish thehealing of this kid.
He he's on his ankle bone.
(12:20):
And these girls, these Christiangirls who went to serve there at
this Muslim school, you know,they go in there to serve, and
they're down on the ground withtheir hands on his ankle, and
they begin to.
I mean, faith just is goingthrough the room is that like
the Bible says, there was powerthere to heal the sick, where
(12:43):
Jesus would go into a town andstart praying, and you know,
everybody was being healed.
There were times when he'd gointo a town, and a few people
came in and they weren't.
And these and these girls werejust laying hands on the ankle
bone, and all of a sudden, hestarts groaning because it's
painful to him.
(13:04):
And his foot starts to rotate.
I mean, right in the hands ofthese girls that are on their
floor, they're weeping, they'recrying, they're praising God.
And I'm just watching how Godcan heal this little boy who
(13:25):
could not heal himself in amoment.
You might go, wow, I've youmight say, Well, I've never seen
anything like that.
Maybe you have.
Well, matter of fact, if youlove Jesus today, you've had the
same miracle at some level.
Maybe not a physical healing,maybe, but he's healed that
(13:47):
stigma that you had brokenwithout God on your own.
And put and part of the storyhere in the Bible that I wanted
to start out with tonight isthat you know, Jesus goes and he
meets a guy with a witheredhand.
Is it lawful to heal on theSabbath?
(14:07):
So they might accuse him.
They're setting him up becausethey they want to frame him.
I mean, we see that today.
I mean, it's uh it's it's andit's just so, you know, it's
doggy dog in the politicalworld.
They're trying, you know, manytimes setting one another up to
try to trap them, try to accusethem.
(14:30):
They they and many of thesepeople didn't know how to handle
Jesus because he didn't dochurch the same way.
You know, he he said that he,you know, he revealed who he
was.
And then if there were sickthere, you know, if the father
was leading him, he would prayfor people and they would be
(14:50):
healed.
But now he was he was comingagainst something that they all
believed that on the Sabbath youdon't heal anybody, right?
You don't work.
They they their belief system isthat if you keep the Sabbath
pure to God, then God will blessyour life.
(15:11):
And so here's Jesus doing theopposite.
And he said to them, which ofthem who has a sheep and falls
into a pit on the Sabbath willnot take hold of it?
How much more value is this manhere than a sheep?
So is it lawful to do good onthe Sabbath?
(15:36):
So Jesus, because he is the Lordof the Sabbath, he's confronting
them.
And and imagine, uh imagine thisguy now who's in the shadows,
he's got a withered hand, that'sprobably in his shirt, hidden.
He's learned to do everythingwith his other hand, and now
(15:59):
Jesus is calling forward.
He's looking at this guy, andhis stigma, his his brokenness
that he hides, it's it's it'sinteresting.
Well, in cycles of addictionthat we all deal with in our
lives, is that we we uh we wehide that stigma.
(16:22):
We don't want anybody else tosee it, because we at the core
of who we are, we're gonna lookat this in a minute as we're
thinking about how to father ourchildren in the midst of that,
is that we believe that we canhandle it.
We believe that we can healourselves, we believe that we
(16:44):
can stop drinking too much, wecan believe that we can stop
eating so much, spending somuch.
I mean, the truth of the matter,beloved, is that we're all
addicted to something.
Not all addictions have the samecost on your life or on your
children, and when your kids aredoing drugs, and that physical
(17:09):
part of that addiction beginskicking in to where their body
now does, you know, is isconstantly drawing them into
more and more and more.
And if you've ever, you know, ifyou're a child of the 60s, I was
I was too busy playing football,you know.
(17:30):
So when you know all the kidswere trying to get me to to
smoke dope and all that kind ofstuff, I you know, I tried to
stay away it just because I I Iheard that it was is bad, but I
will tell something of myself.
This will probably make this uhvideo viral, by the way.
(17:52):
But my friends in college, theywere trying to everything to get
me to smoke a doobie, you know,and I was just I was like a
brand new Christian.
I had just given my life toChrist, and they're they're
doing everything to get me, andI'm saying, no, that's sinful,
I'm not gonna do it.
And so I'm there, and and Ilive, you gotta picture my dorm.
(18:15):
Um I'm in a dorm in on the inKilcauley dormitory in Young
Sound State University, andthey're and after football
games, we come back and justkind of crash in our room.
And all my friends on thefootball team and all the kids
in the hall, they're outsmoking, drinking.
It's a part, it's you know,college, just party time.
(18:37):
And so I would take wet paper,you know, uh wet towels and lock
my door and put it at thethreshold at the bottom of my
door because my friends, youknow, so wanted me to be a party
man like them, they would bringtheir bungs and start blowing
smoke underneath my door to tryto get me, you know.
(18:59):
So I was resisting and andeverything.
And then finally, you know, onenight I, you know, I just said,
okay, I'll take a couple ofpuffs.
And to try to get them off myback.
Well, I gotta tell you, it wasit was not a pleasurable
experience for me because I wasalready hungry being a football
(19:19):
player, and I got such aninsatiable hunger that I went to
the 7-Eleven right on the edgeof the campus.
I took all of my football perdiem money for food for that
next 30 days to go out and getsnacks and stuff and spend it on
Fritos and Bean dip and sausagelinks and popcorn and and I
(19:43):
don't think they had Cheetosback then.
And I mean, I you know, I Icouldn't eat enough.
It's like it kicked in this thishunger inside of me.
And I and I woke, I woke up thenext morning with like a salt
lick on my face.
I mean, I was just, oh, I wasjust miserable, dehydrated, just
(20:06):
had a terrible headache.
And I didn't have a goodreaction.
And I and so I tell people, youknow, they go, Well, hey, yeah,
did you ever smoke dope?
I'm not gonna hide it like BillClinton did.
Well, you know, I had to give upmarijuana because I couldn't
afford the munchies.
(20:27):
Oh man, that was that was mylast time.
That was just that was just youknow craziness.
And so when we lean into thoseplaces with our bodies, you
know, those those things, theythey, you know, when we lean
into something to party with orto do that in in kind of
(20:50):
innocent fun can end up owningyou.
The same thing that happens withyour kids.
And yet the drugs today,methamphetamies and crystal meth
and and all of the oxycontinthat's just flowing around.
Children are are are just uh Imean, they're getting hit with
(21:13):
hard stuff right away.
And so, how do they deal withit?
Let's get back to that story Iwas reading before.
And so then he said to them,Stretch out your hand.
So he takes this guy who's gotthis hidden thing that that he's
kept that hand hidden.
(21:34):
And he said to the man, stretchout your hand in the in just
imagine this moment where he hadto do something that he did not
want to do, he didn't want to beseen.
There's no record that he knewabout Jesus' miracle power.
(21:56):
And Jesus says, Stretch out yourhand, and as he did, it was
restored and healthy like theother.
And the Pharisees, the Biblesays, went out and conspired
against Jesus on how to destroyhim.
And this story has so many majorimplications about you know how
(22:19):
you how someone really doeschange.
And how uh does one of yourchildren you know come out of a
place where addiction is grabthem?
Or how do you come out of aplace where addiction or the
things that you're doing thatyou're still hiding, like the
(22:42):
man with a withered hand,comparing yourself, well, at
least I'm not like this person.
You know, I remember when I wasgrowing up, if you're older like
me, you know, when someone'ssaying you're drinking too much,
and you'd go, Well, I'm not likeOtis De Drunk from Mayberry.
Remember that guy in the show?
(23:02):
And he would every night hewould drink himself stupid and
show up at the jail, take thekey and go in and lock himself
in and sleep it off.
And so we go, well, at least I'mnot like that person.
And sometimes it's really hardas a parent when our children
(23:22):
are entering into something thatyou can't believe they're doing.
And yet there's there'sprincipalities and powers and
and wickedness.
The devil's gonna throweverything at our children in
his generation and ourgrandchildren.
And so, so how do we kind ofmove out of that?
(23:44):
Well, we started out talkingabout this story.
Well, here's the the first thingI want to share with you.
I'm reading an incredible bookby John Arpert called Steps.
If you've not read it, it's it'sone of the most powerful books
on recovery that I've ever read.
(24:05):
And it and I'm reading it for acouple of reasons.
Number one, I'm reading it as agrandpa and as a father.
So that if there's, you know, ifthose areas that I I have issues
where I'm addicted to, God canbring a healing to me and my
(24:26):
life in a real way for mychildren and my grandchildren
and my friends and people that Iminister to can be an example of
how God can take a broken guylike me and heal him.
Now, every time you know a manor a woman goes to an AA meeting
(24:46):
and stands up and introducesthemselves.
Hi, I'm Ed, I'm an alcoholic orwhatever the name is.
And they acknowledge thatthey're powerless to stop
drinking or to do things thatare in their story.
They're just like that guy witha withered hand when Jesus said,
(25:09):
Stretch out your hand.
Because as long as that hand ishidden, as long as that
addiction or that place in youis hidden, you're gonna be a
prisoner to whatever that is.
And the shame of that will grabyour life and will grab your
heart.
(25:29):
And and the result of that isthat you won't pray the same
when you're constantly dealingwith stuff and hiding from God.
You won't you know how to tominister to your kids if they're
struggling.
Because you're you're it's it'sso I mean I've talked to
(25:50):
parents, you know, a lot ofparents whose children are you
know in the midst of addictionissues, and their response many
times is I can't believe I mychild is doing this.
I raised them in a Christianhome, they went to church, they
did all these things, and so youknow, somehow you can keep our
(26:11):
children from ever being underspiritual warfare.
So, one of my questions thatI've asked, and I ask of myself,
is my life, and I want you toask yourself, is my life a
roadmap so that my children notonly know how bad I blew it and
how much uh how broken I amwithout Christ, do am I modeling
(26:36):
to them how you get free?
See, one of the most powerfulpeople to help a child is a is a
dad and a mom.
And I'm not saying you do itjust right, it'll happen every
time.
Because we're we're fightingagainst demonic powers and and
(26:59):
rulers of the darkness, too.
I mean, the the devil wants todestroy our children.
But the the the the coming inyour own life to your own story,
it's it's just crucial.
And John writes on, he says,I've experienced powerlessness
in the areas of life that aremost important to me.
I've experienced deeply painfulfailure as a parent.
(27:23):
I've done the same.
I've experienced deeply painfulfailure in my calling as a
pastor, man, right along withyou.
This has left brokenness aroundme within me that I cannot solve
and I cannot fix.
I mean, that's one of the thingsof getting healed, is realize
(27:44):
that we can't fix those things.
The self-made Marlborough man, Ithink he died of lung cancer.
We can't conquer those things.
Uh, we can start our new leaf,is why New Year's resolutions
last for a few days every yearat the turn of the year.
(28:07):
But we need help.
He goes on.
He says, This has left abrokenness around me within me
that I cannot solve, I cannotfix.
This is my reality.
My life must incorporate thispainful, broken weakness if it's
to be a life at all.
Because when we avoid it, or wejust, you know, quote a
(28:29):
scripture over ourselves andsay, I'm under the blood,
everything's great, but we'renever really honest about who we
are when nobody is looking.
That's why I think when Jameswrote that, you know, to men, if
you confess your sins to oneanother, you're gonna you can be
healed.
Or if you're a gal, there'ssomething that's incredibly
(28:52):
freeing when you learn how tomake yourself vulnerable.
And where you learn to, it'slike there's this cathartic
thing that happens inside of youwhen you finally talk to a
friend and say, Man, I'm introuble.
I need help.
At that moment of declaring Ican't do this, and I'm stuck,
(29:19):
what you're gonna find is thatyou won't see most of us as men,
we don't do that because wedon't want other people, we
don't want anybody to think thatwe're weak.
Oh man, I mean, people havecalled me big ed since I've been
a young kid.
And man, I I've tried to big edstuff.
(29:40):
And I gotta tell you, man, itdoesn't work.
I've tried to big ed people inchurch.
You know, I've tried to superencourage them, I've tried to do
a lot of things.
I've learned as I've gottenolder that I can only do what
the father's doing withsomebody.
I can't make it happen for them.
But more than anything, I'velearned that.
I need to, you know, you know,allow the Lord into those places
(30:04):
that nobody sees clearly.
So that that those that thatshame doesn't get root in me.
And I start hiding my hand, likethe man with a withered hand
story, so that nobody sees it.
And his healing happened when heresponded.
(30:25):
I mean, he could have said no toJesus.
No.
I've learned how to use my otherhand.
Thank you very much.
I don't need to bring out thathand.
Because everyone will know thenthat, you know, that I can't
handle my life with one hand.
I've proven my life that I canbe a one-handed man.
(30:46):
I've gotten really good with onehand.
And what am I going to do?
I mean, people kind of live, youknow, kind of in that reality to
where they're they they standaway from the healing of God
because they've they've builtsomething that they think they
(31:07):
can manage.
I was in um, you know, inGermany, in uh Heidelberg, and I
was in a church, and I saw aworship leader on the stage, and
I was behind the stage with ourprayer team as we were getting
(31:27):
ready to go speak at thischurch, it's a big Lutheran
church.
And uh and I was watching and Inoticed that the worship leader
was blind.
And so I'm saying, Lord, youwant to heal this guy?
And I walked up there and I putmy hand on his back at the end
of worship, and I started topray for him, and his eyes
(31:51):
started to open.
And as they did, he yelled, Stopit! I don't want this, and I
guess his eyes went dark again.
And I I I came around in frontof him and I said, Well, why?
(32:14):
He said, I I have wonderfulrelationships with people that
help me.
And if and if I get my sightback, they might not they might
not want to be around meanymore.
I said, Oh friend, that's notthe way the people of God are.
(32:34):
But he said, Thank you, butdon't pray for ever pray for me
again for healing.
See, I he had a withered hand,and it's like I've been able to
play the piano with one hand,and and you coming in and
interrupting.
That's why in those days Ididn't, I didn't know what I
know now, that in a real waythat I can only do what I see
(32:57):
the Father doing.
Back then, I thought I'd just goand pray for people and just be
bold, and then God will healsome of them.
And he struggled.
And so, not only that, you know,in you know, this my life in my
(33:18):
reality, but I must incorporatethis painful broken weakness to
be a life at all.
Next slide here.
And so paradoxically, he writes,and if you haven't gotten this
book from John Orberg, man, I'dgo right now in Kindle and get
it.
It's called Steps.
It's the most powerful book oncovery.
(33:38):
And the subtitle is A Guide toTransforming Your Life When
Willpower Isn't Enough.
So good, so brilliant.
I'd love to have him on apodcast.
He's just a brilliant guy.
And he writes paradoxically, thetrue spiritual journey with God
depends on your sincere,desperate recognition that we
(34:01):
are not in control.
Now we might go, amen, brother,amen.
But there's it's one thing toagree with it, it's another
thing to live in such adependency on God speaking and
leading and doing things in yourlife that you don't sort of take
the reins and deal with it.
(34:21):
So God will send us people,places, and things we cannot
control.
Have you noticed that?
That's what the way parents thatI'm coaching right now that
children are in addiction, andwe just are overwhelmed.
I have a dear family member thata couple of family members that
(34:43):
I had in my family that werealcoholics, and it was just
really hard for them to admitit.
I mean, I prayed, I fasted, Iencouraged, I confronted, I did
interventions, I tried all thesekind of things.
And what I've come to know isthat I can't fix them.
(35:08):
It's one of the hardest thingsfor us as a mom or dad with our
children to admit that we can'tfix them.
But God can.
Matter of fact, we can't fixourselves.
See, here are here, I want youto think about what that means.
(35:28):
Here are three things you mightconsider for a moment.
Uh, you can't can control yourbirth, your death, and
everywhere in between.
John, you're sneaky.
You're such a great writer.
So here's so here's the truthabout this first section here is
(35:52):
that I can't fix myself or myfamily, but God can.
Just I want you to say that outloud with me.
No matter what you're goingthrough, no matter what places
that you're in as a mom or adad, to be able to say, I can't
fix myself or my family, but Godcan.
See, that's that's theincredible news.
(36:14):
God can.
And the way we we enter intothat healing process is really
crucial to how they mightreceive from us.
And it's it's it's one of thosethings that's so easy for us as
(36:35):
human beings to get a superiorattitude with a child that's not
acting right.
And so our conversations towardsthem is all about creating a
safe place around them.
And in a lot of ways, webrowbeat them because they're
not living up to the level.
(36:57):
And, you know, I found that whenI did that with my children,
they they got afraid to talk tome and they stopped sharing
intimate stuff with me.
They stopped telling onthemselves.
And so it's like, you know, Ibecame big ad to my kids.
(37:20):
Ex-pro-football player.
Boy, dad can do anything.
But when I started to sharethat, I couldn't, and and I
invited them into my brokenness.
One of the things I starteddoing with my kids is, you know,
I realized that I never taughtthem how to ask for forgiveness.
I never I never taught them howto be weak and say, I can't do
(37:43):
this, I need help.
Because even in their younglives, they they they push
themselves so that they canimpress me somehow.
You've seen this, I know youhave as a parent.
They're pushing themselves.
They're, you know, they'rethey're the they're the
(38:04):
hallelujah, I love Jesus, yes, Ido, I love Jesus, how about you
at youth group and andeverything.
And and yet when it, you know,down the road they're behaving,
a youth group, they're behavingwith your rules at home.
(38:29):
But when they're with theirfriends, they have their own set
of rules.
And the secret of helping themis them being willing to share
what those rules are with you,expecting you to judge them or
(38:50):
to browbeat them or to do what Idid so many times.
That's not being a McGlassan.
Oh, is that the dumbest thingyou've ever heard?
You can even respond in thechat.
Yeah, that's the dumbest thingI've ever heard.
Like my genetic, you know, poolis any more superior than
(39:12):
anybody else.
No, I'm I'm broken.
I can't fix myself.
So when I communicate that, it'slike the standard is living up
to the family legacy.
And it's not, it's not the heartthat God wants to give us.
I mean, think about the prodigalson story.
(39:32):
When the father sees a son whowished him dead and wanted his
inheritance and ran away, livedin crazy living, he smelled like
sin, looked like sin, came hometo just even eat the pig pods
that the pigs left behindbecause he was starving.
His father didn't lecture him.
(39:54):
He ran out and ordered thefatted pig to be killed and a
new robe and a ring, and herestored his son because he was
lost.
And him turning home, where hecame, I can't do this.
I'm gonna go back to my dad'shouse.
When he turned home, healingbegan for that young man.
(40:18):
It's why God meets us.
Didn't he meet you there?
He met me there.
You know, the slide goes on thathere's our new reality.
There's a God, and it's not me.
That seems like such a simplething to say, but it is the
(40:43):
healthiest thing you can say,because that really is true.
And the quicker you embracethat, the quicker you'll connect
to God's presence and the power.
So I'm gonna give you a few morethings, and probably gonna I'm
gonna continue this in part twonext week, because this is such
(41:04):
a big subject, and I don't Iwant to give you guys
opportunities to respond.
I'd love some comments or maybeprayer requests of somebody in
your family, because you mightbe dealing with this in yourself
or with one of your kids today.
And so here's you know, here's atruth that John writes about,
(41:25):
and I wholeheartedly agree.
Our spiritual life always startswith the recognition of
powerlessness.
And why is that?
What Jesus said, he didn't comefor the healthy, but for people
who were sick, I would go on tosay who knew they were sick.
(41:48):
People who had a stigma, peoplewho were marked by a community,
people were outcasts, women whohad the letter A sewn on their
garments.
You know, people who wereaccused, people who were
(42:08):
marginalized.
That's what Jesus chose.
I mean, I mean, look at his bandof disciples.
He had a he had an IRS agent,some fishermen, you know, the
sons of thunder, you know, likea camel jockey gang.
They, you know, they wanted,they're the ones bringing fire
(42:29):
down from heaven.
You know, they, you know, he hadall kinds of disciples that
didn't come from the status quoof the rabbis.
And Jesus turned them all intothese incredible, laid-down
(42:50):
lovers of Jesus.
And they they failed for all ofus to read about all the
mistakes they made, and yet Godused them profoundly to
establish this church.
It's still going on.
And so, you know, part of whatyou and I gotta realize is that
(43:14):
when we, you know, admit thatwe're powerless over anything,
and we we we draw other peopleinto that thing.
There's incredible healingthere.
And let me say this.
When's the last time you'veconfessed your own brokenness to
(43:38):
your children?
Now, I'm not talking aboutlittle tiny kids, but as they're
growing up, who in your familyteaches your kids how to admit
that they're powerless overtheir stuff that they can't fix
themselves?
Because we model we model asparents, and I think we err on
(44:00):
the side of performance andfollow-through and good manners
and family tradition and obeyingGod and going to church and you
know, uh being faithful.
There's all some great familyvalues that we have.
But uh the most important familyvalue that Jesus wants you and I
(44:22):
to have is when we go, I can'tdo, I'm broken.
And without Jesus in my life, II can't fix it, but He can.
And see, when you teach yourchildren how to come back from
the abyss, your grandchildrenare gonna learn it too, one day.
(44:44):
Because the truth of the matteris the the spear of the point of
the spear in spiritual assaulton and most of Christendom, it's
not just pastors on stages.
And there's there's a lot ofthem we've seen fall who God is
(45:06):
exposed.
And and when they confess it,there's incredible, it's an
incredible message to thechurch.
But it's our children.
He's after our kids.
And so one of the best defensesfor that and in how you help
them get out of the abyss, isthey they need a model of how
(45:28):
that happens.
They're not going to learn ifthey if they think that your
life was perfect.
And I and I got a lot of funstories about how God has done a
lot of things, and I'm sograteful because I really
believe that I can't, but hereally can.
But I wasn't very good in thebeginning at all, and I still
(45:52):
struggle with sharing weakness.
That I need prayer for this.
Because I want to be big ed, youknow, and have the answers.
How about you?
And the more you're like that,the more your children will
believe, well, you can't relateto me.
You can't relate to how broken Iam, Dad.
(46:16):
I was with a young man thisweek, and he could never tell
his father his mistakes becausehis dad was so brutal in the way
he treated him.
And so he just figured out thatI'm just gonna have to do this
(46:37):
completely by myself.
And I met with him a few weeksago and and I said, So how's it
going?
He says, Really bad.
It's really bad.
I I'm stuck.
I'm drinking too much, I'msmoking dope, I'm I'm ruining my
(47:01):
family, and I know I shouldn't.
I'm afraid to go to church, youknow, because I I haven't made
my life right yet with God.
And I looked at him in a Zoomcoaching call and I said, I got
some really good news for you.
(47:23):
You don't get in with Jesusbecause you get it together
first.
You get in with Jesus when youbring the worst of you to him so
that he can give you the bestthat he has.
(47:44):
We had a teary powerful prayertime.
Because in his family, allmilitary, to show weakness, not
that you were a girly man or asissy.
And yet uh you're the mostpowerful that you are, when you
(48:07):
live in that in that humilitythat is the fruit of you
regularly not only going to theLord and saying, Father, I am
broken in this, forgive my sin.
But when you're willing to sharethat brokenness with a brother,
(48:28):
and then when appropriate, toshare that with your children on
how God has forgiven you.
And I gotta tell you, I I'vetalked to a lot of a lot of
pastors' kids who left thechurch because they never
thought they were ever goodenough.
(48:51):
And that they left and went intothe world because they didn't
want what they were doing todestroy their dad's ministry,
because to my father, that wasthe most important thing in
their mind.
Not actually, but you know, weyou know, we had things with our
own kids.
(49:15):
And there's a real temptation.
Oh, we don't want to share thiswith anybody, but as soon as you
do that, you've you cease to bea real part of that community.
And so I'm gonna I want to stophere.
I I have a lot more with this,and we're gonna continue part
two next week.
(49:36):
But I just I just want to leaveyou with I think one more kind
of picture here.
And and this is really it's kindof the first step after you say
I can't fix myself.
And we're gonna share four morenext week, but here's the first
one, and that is you've got toreally acknowledge your hurt to
(50:00):
God, because he wants to healyou.
And when you when you'rehurting, and and when you're
stuck, if you've been hurt, GodGod really says, I want to heal
you.
But he can't really heal us ifwe don't bring it to him.
So when you let go of thepretense and the and the
(50:23):
positioning that you think youneed to do, and you bring him
those those broken-heartedthings, like the Bible says, he
he heals the brokenhearted andhe binds up their wounds.
I mean, God the Father lovesdoing that with you and I.
But we we could so easily getinto this, you know, name it and
(50:47):
claim it and believe in God, ourheartache over stuff.
Because we think that when wehave heartache, that's not
faith.
But the truth of the matter isthe best thing you can do is
pour out to the Lord how brokenyou feel.
Because he knows it already.
(51:09):
But you go to him and say, Lord,I I my heart is just so
overwhelmed.
I I can't believe my daughter'sin this place, or my son is in
this place, or my grandchild isin this place.
And so, Lord, it just breaks myheart.
I mean, heart is completelybroken, and I I bring this to
(51:29):
you, or you know, issues relatedto your own failure and things.
And so you got to sort of cleanup your act before you come to
God.
That the truth of the matter isthat as soon as we do that,
we're we're without saying thisdirectly but indirectly, I'm
saying, uh, Jesus, you know, I Idon't need what you did for me
(51:52):
on the cross.
I can fix myself.
Or I can fix this person in myfamily.
And uh man, I my our familylearned this uh years ago.
I'll just kind of close withthis.
(52:14):
Is that we had an opportunity tobecause this person that we knew
was their daughter was reallystuck in she you know, she was
an alcoholic and an addict andand drugs and putting herself in
harm's way and you know, passingout, and I mean just you know,
(52:39):
just a horrible addiction.
And um really thought, you know,we just we'd move them into our
family and uh we're just gonnalove her into a new place.
You ever try to do that?
But we didn't know the what theheck we were doing, and uh and
(53:01):
in the midst of it, I mean it uhI mean we we we had a we had a
it's like the God's uh God's uhmercy on us exposed that you you
can't fix her.
We loved her to death, stilllove her.
And I guess she's uh she's sobertoday, she's doing great and
(53:26):
walking with Jesus.
And but man, it was it was amess, and and it did us in
because we felt like we justdidn't do enough.
Maybe we should have triedsomething different, or you
know, we we just we just didn'tdo enough.
(53:48):
We we thought that we could bepart of the cure.
And boy, that's a slipperyslope.
And when you're in that place,you can if you lose a child or
go through something horriblelike that, you're gonna you're
gonna feel guilty, or you'llyou'll blame God in the midst of
that.
And and it's so easy for us towrite ourselves into the healing
(54:10):
of people that we love.
It's very subtle.
We get a few victories and wethink we can fix them.
I I call it when I big edpeople.
I mean, I I've I've seenincredible miracles in my life,
and I'm so grateful.
People saved and all over theworld.
(54:35):
But God did all that.
Ed didn't do that.
But when you start dealing withpeople that are really close to
you and you love them, you youhave this uh place in you where
you're you you you have thisbelief, well I I can fix them.
It's very subtle.
And uh and it doesn't work, andand boy, we uh we gave all that
(55:00):
we had as a family, and and wewe were all in serious trauma
trying to save this girl, andand she wasn't ready.
She wasn't we I mean we went outand rescued her from a gang of
wicked men.
We you know, I put myself injeopardy.
(55:23):
Almost got arrested by thepolice and going to a drug house
and I mean all all these things.
I was so involved in making thishappen.
And you know the lesson thatcame out of that was that I it's
(55:45):
like from the Lord, he said, Youcan't fix yourself.
How are you gonna fix somebodyelse?
And I remember just uh coming tohim and saying, God, I can't do
it.
(56:06):
I can't fix myself, I can't fixher, I can't fix anybody.
I mean, I had people in mychurch that I absolutely loved
and cared for, led many of themto Christ, and they would start
going sideways and commitadultery on their wife, and I'd
call them in and help them tryto bring them back, and they
would just destroy theirmarriage in front of me.
(56:28):
And I would take it so personal,like what's wrong with me?
Uh is highlighted beyond of whatGod thinks about you because he
loves you, knows how fullybroken you are, but his
(56:53):
requirement for enduing you withhis power is that you let go of
yours.
And that's my point tonight.
And the more you let go of yourpersonal power and you're trying
to will something to happen, andthe more you lean in to what
(57:17):
he's doing, there's incrediblelessons for you, and that'll be
the best way for you to begin totransition and help your
children.
Because when they see the modelin you, dad or mom, if you're
watching, it's going to givethem incredible hope.
(57:38):
And so I'm going to pray forthose that are watching.
And I actually have an onlinemen's group.
If you're not part of ouracademy, I have an online men's
group that starts actually intwo minutes.
Been long-winded night.
Thanks for hanging with me, allyou that are here on all the
platforms.
I'm so grateful to be here.
But I want to end in prayer, anduh we have a little offer at the
(58:04):
end of this.
And next week we're going to getto part two about this.
But um, I just want to pray withyou right now.
Father, I just want to lead youin a prayer.
Would you just pray this with meto say, Jesus, right now, I
can't fix myself, I can't fix mykids, but you can.
(58:29):
And Father, I invite you intothat place in me, those places
I've hidden, so that I canlearn, I can become a roadmap
when my children watch how Iinteract with you.
Father, I just give you myfamilies.
(58:50):
We give you our families, wegive you those impossible people
we deal with, we give you ourfriends, and we say, Lord, we
can't fix them, but you can.
And we ask you to heal us in thename of Jesus and to make us
yours completely to where ourboast at the end of the day is
(59:12):
whatever you see is because heGod has blessed me by forgiving
me and giving his son.
And he can do the same for you.
And August people said, Amen.
Love you, gotta bounce.
Check us out atthefatherdifference.com.
(59:34):
Watch this uh little videobefore we close.
If you need coaching orsomething, go to my website,
thefatherdifference.com.
We'd love to help you and yourfamily.
And the Lord bless you, myfriends.
Never too late for a newbeginning.
God bless.
SPEAKER_00 (59:52):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:07):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's going to dosomething profound.
He's going to turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(01:00:28):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I meet dads daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured through bitterness and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(01:00:51):
That's why we're launching anonline community to equip men to
be the fathers that God hascalled them to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood as a sacred calling
rooted in the teachings ofChrist.
(01:01:12):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration that helps themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(01:01:35):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, andultimately our nation, anchoring
each child here's a vision inthe unwavering love and guidance
of a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:57):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hope-filled future for
generations to come.
(01:02:18):
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlassen.
SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
Well, welcome.
I'm I'm your host, Ed TennyMcGlassen, and I am uh grateful
to be with you on uh Tuesdaynight here, Tuesday night live.
And we have people coming infrom Instagram and Rumble and
Facebook, both pages, and a lotof things going on in the world
(01:40):
today.
And tonight, kind of topic andshow that I'm working on, I'm
gonna turn off my phone ringerbecause I want to stay focused
in on what's going on here.
Is a dad dealing with, and maybeyour mom dealing with childhood
(02:00):
addiction in your family?
There's how many of you have hada child or or even yourself in a
battle?
You get in this battle for theirvery soul, their their heart,
they keep going back and forthand kind of stuck in this place
(02:21):
of incredible pain and andthings that they're kind of
broken in.
And you're not sure what to do.
You've you've tried everything.
You've sent them to rehab,you've taken them to church,
you've tried to cast demons outof them.
You've, you know, you've doneeverything you know to do as a
(02:42):
parent, and yet they keepgetting worse and worse, and in
some cases they uh cut theirlife short.
Because there's one thing that'strue is that the enemy is going
to do a lot of things to try tonot only knock you out of the
game, dad, or if you're a momwatching, he wants to get your
(03:04):
kids.
He wants to give them a lifetimeof misery and sorrow and and in
a place of really being you knowoverwhelmed, unable to really do
their life because the drugs orwhatever they're the alcohol or
whatever those things is they'reusing to kind of connect to
(03:29):
their own selves kind of takesover.
And so it's a it's a typical uhstrategy of the enemy.
And so we're gonna we're gonnaget right into it and talk about
uh things that you can do tohelp them and at the same time
(03:50):
get hope that it's not all onyou, dad or mom, to make your
kid sober.
Matter of fact, we can't even dothat with our own lives.
How are we gonna do that withwith a child that we love?
And so I want to start out, andI want to start out with a story
(04:11):
that's in the Bible that's justincredibly powerful.
It's one of those people thatJesus healed that didn't ask for
healing, he didn't raise hishand for healing.
He was somebody who was in acrowd, who was always in crowds,
(04:31):
but hidden because he had aproblem.
He had a withered hand thatmarked him most of his life.
And so let's look at this storyin Matthew.
You know, Jesus went on fromthere and and and entered a
synagogue.
(04:53):
And a man was there with awithered hand.
And they asked him, is it lawfulto heal on the Sabbath?
It doesn't it doesn't seem toindicate that they're talking
about the man with a witheredhand.
Because in their culture, if youhad some kind of deformity or
(05:14):
you had some kind of issue, youget you you had a stigma put on
you.
And uh some believed in some ofthe the the teaching in the old
testament and and that thatwithered hand could be was a
part maybe of the father's sinor the or the life you know they
(05:36):
had before that uh somehow God'snot blessing them.
There was a there was a uhidentifying mark upon this man
every time he's in public.
It reminds me of a you knowbeing in Bandoon, Indonesia, and
I was in a crowd of you knowmostly Muslim people, and a girl
(06:03):
uh invited me into the uh andcame over to me and asked me if
I would pray for her school.
And and I said, Well, what's theschool?
And she told me, she said that,you know, in our country here in
Indonesia, if a child has adeformity, many times the the
parents kind of give them up andand they put them in these
(06:27):
special schools, but they livein these schools, they're
separated from their familiesbecause they don't want other
people to think that Allah isangry with them and His
punishing their children as aresult with the deformity.
Much like the man with awithered hand in the story of
(06:49):
Jesus.
People are looking at him, andand so she brings all these kids
to me, and they had differentissues.
They had deafness, they had uhphysical issues, they there was
a boy kind of in the middle witha turned-in ankle.
He was actually walking on hisankle bone, and he was drooling
(07:12):
out of his mouth, and it lookedas though he had you know some
level of mental handicap.
And then there were differentkids with different deformities
in this school, and so I'mstanding here going, God, who do
I pray for?
And this boy stook out.
(07:33):
The one that stood out was a boythat was walking on his foot
sideways and almost on his anklebone, and he he was drooling out
of his mouth, and I and I askedher, I said, What uh what's
wrong with him?
And he said, uh, and she said tome, Well, he uh he's never
(07:56):
spoken, he's uh mute, and we'renot sure if he's got some mental
kind of handicap, but he hasn'the's he doesn't speak and he
doesn't hear, so he's deaf andhe's mute, and so I can tell
that he's never been prayed for.
(08:16):
So I, you know, I'm reallygentle with him, and I, you
know, I lean in really close andI'm going, God, show me how to
pray.
Because this is like, see, thisis a Muslim boy from a Muslim
school that is put in a schoolbecause of his handicap.
(08:37):
If you're just tuning in, anumber of jumping on right now,
and so I'm going, Lord, show mewhat to do.
And scripture's kind of flowingthrough my brain of the way
Jesus you know prayed for peoplethat were deaf.
And and so I leaned in reallyclose and I put my hands on them
(09:00):
gently, because in that culture,you know, and as a Muslim, you
you know, a Muslim man or woman,they don't want somebody to put
their hands on them that maybeyou're not, you know, of their
faith.
And so, especially a gentile,you know, a big white guy.
And so I I leaned in and verygently on his face, I leaned in
(09:28):
to his ear, and I said, I loveJesus.
And I gotta tell you, friends,it was it was unbelievable what
happened.
And it took it took about 10 or15 seconds, and he just started
(09:49):
batting his eyes, and he looksat me and he says, I love Jesus.
In one moment, I mean, just in asupernatural moment, where I
didn't say be healed in the nameof Jesus, I just spoke the name
(10:10):
of Jesus, you know, into thislittle boy's ear.
And he was about, I would say,14 or 15 years old.
I love Jesus.
And he kept screaming it, I loveJesus, I love Jesus.
Now in a Muslim community,they're all like, what in the
heck is going on?
And I prayed for him and hestarted weeping as this
(10:34):
supernatural miracle, miraclepower of God just fell on him.
And he's just completely,completely being restored.
And that just then, all of the,and the and the gal, the the
Muslim teacher is just weeping.
She's never seen her studentshealed before.
(10:54):
She started bringing otherstudents forward, and we began
to pray.
And the ministry team startedseeing deafness healed and one
blind eye open, and just amazingthings happening in this group
of kids that were marked withthe stigma and thrown away in
culture where people go, Well, Iknow what's going on with them.
(11:17):
It's interesting how we do thatto people.
Sometimes we see homeless peopleand we go, oh yeah, we know
their story.
You know, we were so quick toyou know, put a stigma on
somebody and and make and theyjust feel kind of invisible.
You know, you you see themdriving on the freeway, standing
there with a sign.
(11:37):
And it's so easy to not stop andand to bless them in in some
way, and and just keep on.
They feel invisible.
And I mean, it was it wasincredible.
And I had an altar call at theend.
It was uh extraordinary, it'snot the word that I could use,
because so many people stood upand gave their life to Christ at
(11:59):
the display of Jesus' love andpower over this Muslim school.
Imagine the parents gettingtheir son back who now speaks.
And I I didn't finish thehealing of this kid.
He he's on his ankle bone.
(12:20):
And these girls, these Christiangirls who went to serve there at
this Muslim school, you know,they go in there to serve, and
they're down on the ground withtheir hands on his ankle, and
they begin to.
I mean, faith just is goingthrough the room is that like
the Bible says, there was powerthere to heal the sick, where
(12:43):
Jesus would go into a town andstart praying, and you know,
everybody was being healed.
There were times when he'd gointo a town, and a few people
came in and they weren't.
And these and these girls werejust laying hands on the ankle
bone, and all of a sudden, hestarts groaning because it's
painful to him.
(13:04):
And his foot starts to rotate.
I mean, right in the hands ofthese girls that are on their
floor, they're weeping, they'recrying, they're praising God.
And I'm just watching how Godcan heal this little boy who
(13:25):
could not heal himself in amoment.
You might go, wow, I've youmight say, Well, I've never seen
anything like that.
Maybe you have.
Well, matter of fact, if youlove Jesus today, you've had the
same miracle at some level.
Maybe not a physical healing,maybe, but he's healed that
(13:47):
stigma that you had brokenwithout God on your own.
And put and part of the storyhere in the Bible that I wanted
to start out with tonight isthat you know, Jesus goes and he
meets a guy with a witheredhand.
Is it lawful to heal on theSabbath?
(14:07):
So they might accuse him.
They're setting him up becausethey they want to frame him.
I mean, we see that today.
I mean, it's uh it's it's andit's just so, you know, it's
doggy dog in the politicalworld.
They're trying, you know, manytimes setting one another up to
try to trap them, try to accusethem.
(14:30):
They they and many of thesepeople didn't know how to handle
Jesus because he didn't dochurch the same way.
You know, he he said that he,you know, he revealed who he
was.
And then if there were sickthere, you know, if the father
was leading him, he would prayfor people and they would be
(14:50):
healed.
But now he was he was comingagainst something that they all
believed that on the Sabbath youdon't heal anybody, right?
You don't work.
They they their belief system isthat if you keep the Sabbath
pure to God, then God will blessyour life.
(15:11):
And so here's Jesus doing theopposite.
And he said to them, which ofthem who has a sheep and falls
into a pit on the Sabbath willnot take hold of it?
How much more value is this manhere than a sheep?
So is it lawful to do good onthe Sabbath?
(15:36):
So Jesus, because he is the Lordof the Sabbath, he's confronting
them.
And and imagine, uh imagine thisguy now who's in the shadows,
he's got a withered hand, that'sprobably in his shirt, hidden.
He's learned to do everythingwith his other hand, and now
(15:59):
Jesus is calling forward.
He's looking at this guy, andhis stigma, his his brokenness
that he hides, it's it's it'sinteresting.
Well, in cycles of addictionthat we all deal with in our
lives, is that we we uh we wehide that stigma.
(16:22):
We don't want anybody else tosee it, because we at the core
of who we are, we're gonna lookat this in a minute as we're
thinking about how to father ourchildren in the midst of that,
is that we believe that we canhandle it.
We believe that we can healourselves, we believe that we
(16:44):
can stop drinking too much, wecan believe that we can stop
eating so much, spending somuch.
I mean, the truth of the matter,beloved, is that we're all
addicted to something.
Not all addictions have the samecost on your life or on your
children, and when your kids aredoing drugs, and that physical
(17:09):
part of that addiction beginskicking in to where their body
now does, you know, is isconstantly drawing them into
more and more and more.
And if you've ever, you know, ifyou're a child of the 60s, I was
I was too busy playing football,you know.
(17:30):
So when you know all the kidswere trying to get me to to
smoke dope and all that kind ofstuff, I you know, I tried to
stay away it just because I I Iheard that it was is bad, but I
will tell something of myself.
This will probably make this uhvideo viral, by the way.
(17:52):
But my friends in college, theywere trying to everything to get
me to smoke a doobie, you know,and I was just I was like a
brand new Christian.
I had just given my life toChrist, and they're they're
doing everything to get me, andI'm saying, no, that's sinful,
I'm not gonna do it.
And so I'm there, and and Ilive, you gotta picture my dorm.
(18:15):
Um I'm in a dorm in on the inKilcauley dormitory in Young
Sound State University, andthey're and after football
games, we come back and justkind of crash in our room.
And all my friends on thefootball team and all the kids
in the hall, they're outsmoking, drinking.
It's a part, it's you know,college, just party time.
(18:37):
And so I would take wet paper,you know, uh wet towels and lock
my door and put it at thethreshold at the bottom of my
door because my friends, youknow, so wanted me to be a party
man like them, they would bringtheir bungs and start blowing
smoke underneath my door to tryto get me, you know.
(18:59):
So I was resisting and andeverything.
And then finally, you know, onenight I, you know, I just said,
okay, I'll take a couple ofpuffs.
And to try to get them off myback.
Well, I gotta tell you, it wasit was not a pleasurable
experience for me because I wasalready hungry being a football
(19:19):
player, and I got such aninsatiable hunger that I went to
the 7-Eleven right on the edgeof the campus.
I took all of my football perdiem money for food for that
next 30 days to go out and getsnacks and stuff and spend it on
Fritos and Bean dip and sausagelinks and popcorn and and I
(19:43):
don't think they had Cheetosback then.
And I mean, I you know, I Icouldn't eat enough.
It's like it kicked in this thishunger inside of me.
And I and I woke, I woke up thenext morning with like a salt
lick on my face.
I mean, I was just, oh, I wasjust miserable, dehydrated, just
(20:06):
had a terrible headache.
And I didn't have a goodreaction.
And I and so I tell people, youknow, they go, Well, hey, yeah,
did you ever smoke dope?
I'm not gonna hide it like BillClinton did.
Well, you know, I had to give upmarijuana because I couldn't
afford the munchies.
(20:27):
Oh man, that was that was mylast time.
That was just that was just youknow craziness.
And so when we lean into thoseplaces with our bodies, you
know, those those things, theythey, you know, when we lean
into something to party with orto do that in in kind of
(20:50):
innocent fun can end up owningyou.
The same thing that happens withyour kids.
And yet the drugs today,methamphetamies and crystal meth
and and all of the oxycontinthat's just flowing around.
Children are are are just uh Imean, they're getting hit with
(21:13):
hard stuff right away.
And so, how do they deal withit?
Let's get back to that story Iwas reading before.
And so then he said to them,Stretch out your hand.
So he takes this guy who's gotthis hidden thing that that he's
kept that hand hidden.
(21:34):
And he said to the man, stretchout your hand in the in just
imagine this moment where he hadto do something that he did not
want to do, he didn't want to beseen.
There's no record that he knewabout Jesus' miracle power.
(21:56):
And Jesus says, Stretch out yourhand, and as he did, it was
restored and healthy like theother.
And the Pharisees, the Biblesays, went out and conspired
against Jesus on how to destroyhim.
And this story has so many majorimplications about you know how
(22:19):
you how someone really doeschange.
And how uh does one of yourchildren you know come out of a
place where addiction is grabthem?
Or how do you come out of aplace where addiction or the
things that you're doing thatyou're still hiding, like the
(22:42):
man with a withered hand,comparing yourself, well, at
least I'm not like this person.
You know, I remember when I wasgrowing up, if you're older like
me, you know, when someone'ssaying you're drinking too much,
and you'd go, Well, I'm not likeOtis De Drunk from Mayberry.
Remember that guy in the show?
(23:02):
And he would every night hewould drink himself stupid and
show up at the jail, take thekey and go in and lock himself
in and sleep it off.
And so we go, well, at least I'mnot like that person.
And sometimes it's really hardas a parent when our children
(23:22):
are entering into something thatyou can't believe they're doing.
And yet there's there'sprincipalities and powers and
and wickedness.
The devil's gonna throweverything at our children in
his generation and ourgrandchildren.
And so, so how do we kind ofmove out of that?
(23:44):
Well, we started out talkingabout this story.
Well, here's the the first thingI want to share with you.
I'm reading an incredible bookby John Arpert called Steps.
If you've not read it, it's it'sone of the most powerful books
on recovery that I've ever read.
(24:05):
And it and I'm reading it for acouple of reasons.
Number one, I'm reading it as agrandpa and as a father.
So that if there's, you know, ifthose areas that I I have issues
where I'm addicted to, God canbring a healing to me and my
(24:26):
life in a real way for mychildren and my grandchildren
and my friends and people that Iminister to can be an example of
how God can take a broken guylike me and heal him.
Now, every time you know a manor a woman goes to an AA meeting
(24:46):
and stands up and introducesthemselves.
Hi, I'm Ed, I'm an alcoholic orwhatever the name is.
And they acknowledge thatthey're powerless to stop
drinking or to do things thatare in their story.
They're just like that guy witha withered hand when Jesus said,
(25:09):
Stretch out your hand.
Because as long as that hand ishidden, as long as that
addiction or that place in youis hidden, you're gonna be a
prisoner to whatever that is.
And the shame of that will grabyour life and will grab your
heart.
(25:29):
And and the result of that isthat you won't pray the same
when you're constantly dealingwith stuff and hiding from God.
You won't you know how to tominister to your kids if they're
struggling.
Because you're you're it's it'sso I mean I've talked to
(25:50):
parents, you know, a lot ofparents whose children are you
know in the midst of addictionissues, and their response many
times is I can't believe I mychild is doing this.
I raised them in a Christianhome, they went to church, they
did all these things, and so youknow, somehow you can keep our
(26:11):
children from ever being underspiritual warfare.
So, one of my questions thatI've asked, and I ask of myself,
is my life, and I want you toask yourself, is my life a
roadmap so that my children notonly know how bad I blew it and
how much uh how broken I amwithout Christ, do am I modeling
(26:36):
to them how you get free?
See, one of the most powerfulpeople to help a child is a is a
dad and a mom.
And I'm not saying you do itjust right, it'll happen every
time.
Because we're we're fightingagainst demonic powers and and
(26:59):
rulers of the darkness, too.
I mean, the the devil wants todestroy our children.
But the the the the coming inyour own life to your own story,
it's it's just crucial.
And John writes on, he says,I've experienced powerlessness
in the areas of life that aremost important to me.
I've experienced deeply painfulfailure as a parent.
(27:23):
I've done the same.
I've experienced deeply painfulfailure in my calling as a
pastor, man, right along withyou.
This has left brokenness aroundme within me that I cannot solve
and I cannot fix.
I mean, that's one of the thingsof getting healed, is realize
(27:44):
that we can't fix those things.
The self-made Marlborough man, Ithink he died of lung cancer.
We can't conquer those things.
Uh, we can start our new leaf,is why New Year's resolutions
last for a few days every yearat the turn of the year.
(28:07):
But we need help.
He goes on.
He says, This has left abrokenness around me within me
that I cannot solve, I cannotfix.
This is my reality.
My life must incorporate thispainful, broken weakness if it's
to be a life at all.
Because when we avoid it, or wejust, you know, quote a
(28:29):
scripture over ourselves andsay, I'm under the blood,
everything's great, but we'renever really honest about who we
are when nobody is looking.
That's why I think when Jameswrote that, you know, to men, if
you confess your sins to oneanother, you're gonna you can be
healed.
Or if you're a gal, there'ssomething that's incredibly
(28:52):
freeing when you learn how tomake yourself vulnerable.
And where you learn to, it'slike there's this cathartic
thing that happens inside of youwhen you finally talk to a
friend and say, Man, I'm introuble.
I need help.
At that moment of declaring Ican't do this, and I'm stuck,
(29:19):
what you're gonna find is thatyou won't see most of us as men,
we don't do that because wedon't want other people, we
don't want anybody to think thatwe're weak.
Oh man, I mean, people havecalled me big ed since I've been
a young kid.
And man, I I've tried to big edstuff.
(29:40):
And I gotta tell you, man, itdoesn't work.
I've tried to big ed people inchurch.
You know, I've tried to superencourage them, I've tried to do
a lot of things.
I've learned as I've gottenolder that I can only do what
the father's doing withsomebody.
I can't make it happen for them.
But more than anything, I'velearned that.
I need to, you know, you know,allow the Lord into those places
(30:04):
that nobody sees clearly.
So that that those that thatshame doesn't get root in me.
And I start hiding my hand, likethe man with a withered hand
story, so that nobody sees it.
And his healing happened when heresponded.
(30:25):
I mean, he could have said no toJesus.
No.
I've learned how to use my otherhand.
Thank you very much.
I don't need to bring out thathand.
Because everyone will know thenthat, you know, that I can't
handle my life with one hand.
I've proven my life that I canbe a one-handed man.
(30:46):
I've gotten really good with onehand.
And what am I going to do?
I mean, people kind of live, youknow, kind of in that reality to
where they're they they standaway from the healing of God
because they've they've builtsomething that they think they
(31:07):
can manage.
I was in um, you know, inGermany, in uh Heidelberg, and I
was in a church, and I saw aworship leader on the stage, and
I was behind the stage with ourprayer team as we were getting
(31:27):
ready to go speak at thischurch, it's a big Lutheran
church.
And uh and I was watching and Inoticed that the worship leader
was blind.
And so I'm saying, Lord, youwant to heal this guy?
And I walked up there and I putmy hand on his back at the end
of worship, and I started topray for him, and his eyes
(31:51):
started to open.
And as they did, he yelled, Stopit! I don't want this, and I
guess his eyes went dark again.
And I I I came around in frontof him and I said, Well, why?
(32:14):
He said, I I have wonderfulrelationships with people that
help me.
And if and if I get my sightback, they might not they might
not want to be around meanymore.
I said, Oh friend, that's notthe way the people of God are.
(32:34):
But he said, Thank you, butdon't pray for ever pray for me
again for healing.
See, I he had a withered hand,and it's like I've been able to
play the piano with one hand,and and you coming in and
interrupting.
That's why in those days Ididn't, I didn't know what I
know now, that in a real waythat I can only do what I see
(32:57):
the Father doing.
Back then, I thought I'd just goand pray for people and just be
bold, and then God will healsome of them.
And he struggled.
And so, not only that, you know,in you know, this my life in my
(33:18):
reality, but I must incorporatethis painful broken weakness to
be a life at all.
Next slide here.
And so paradoxically, he writes,and if you haven't gotten this
book from John Orberg, man, I'dgo right now in Kindle and get
it.
It's called Steps.
It's the most powerful book oncovery.
(33:38):
And the subtitle is A Guide toTransforming Your Life When
Willpower Isn't Enough.
So good, so brilliant.
I'd love to have him on apodcast.
He's just a brilliant guy.
And he writes paradoxically, thetrue spiritual journey with God
depends on your sincere,desperate recognition that we
(34:01):
are not in control.
Now we might go, amen, brother,amen.
But there's it's one thing toagree with it, it's another
thing to live in such adependency on God speaking and
leading and doing things in yourlife that you don't sort of take
the reins and deal with it.
(34:21):
So God will send us people,places, and things we cannot
control.
Have you noticed that?
That's what the way parents thatI'm coaching right now that
children are in addiction, andwe just are overwhelmed.
I have a dear family member thata couple of family members that
(34:43):
I had in my family that werealcoholics, and it was just
really hard for them to admitit.
I mean, I prayed, I fasted, Iencouraged, I confronted, I did
interventions, I tried all thesekind of things.
And what I've come to know isthat I can't fix them.
(35:08):
It's one of the hardest thingsfor us as a mom or dad with our
children to admit that we can'tfix them.
But God can.
Matter of fact, we can't fixourselves.
See, here are here, I want youto think about what that means.
(35:28):
Here are three things you mightconsider for a moment.
Uh, you can't can control yourbirth, your death, and
everywhere in between.
John, you're sneaky.
You're such a great writer.
So here's so here's the truthabout this first section here is
(35:52):
that I can't fix myself or myfamily, but God can.
Just I want you to say that outloud with me.
No matter what you're goingthrough, no matter what places
that you're in as a mom or adad, to be able to say, I can't
fix myself or my family, but Godcan.
See, that's that's theincredible news.
(36:14):
God can.
And the way we we enter intothat healing process is really
crucial to how they mightreceive from us.
And it's it's it's one of thosethings that's so easy for us as
(36:35):
human beings to get a superiorattitude with a child that's not
acting right.
And so our conversations towardsthem is all about creating a
safe place around them.
And in a lot of ways, webrowbeat them because they're
not living up to the level.
(36:57):
And, you know, I found that whenI did that with my children,
they they got afraid to talk tome and they stopped sharing
intimate stuff with me.
They stopped telling onthemselves.
And so it's like, you know, Ibecame big ad to my kids.
(37:20):
Ex-pro-football player.
Boy, dad can do anything.
But when I started to sharethat, I couldn't, and and I
invited them into my brokenness.
One of the things I starteddoing with my kids is, you know,
I realized that I never taughtthem how to ask for forgiveness.
I never I never taught them howto be weak and say, I can't do
(37:43):
this, I need help.
Because even in their younglives, they they they push
themselves so that they canimpress me somehow.
You've seen this, I know youhave as a parent.
They're pushing themselves.
They're, you know, they'rethey're the they're the
(38:04):
hallelujah, I love Jesus, yes, Ido, I love Jesus, how about you
at youth group and andeverything.
And and yet when it, you know,down the road they're behaving,
a youth group, they're behavingwith your rules at home.
(38:29):
But when they're with theirfriends, they have their own set
of rules.
And the secret of helping themis them being willing to share
what those rules are with you,expecting you to judge them or
(38:50):
to browbeat them or to do what Idid so many times.
That's not being a McGlassan.
Oh, is that the dumbest thingyou've ever heard?
You can even respond in thechat.
Yeah, that's the dumbest thingI've ever heard.
Like my genetic, you know, poolis any more superior than
(39:12):
anybody else.
No, I'm I'm broken.
I can't fix myself.
So when I communicate that, it'slike the standard is living up
to the family legacy.
And it's not, it's not the heartthat God wants to give us.
I mean, think about the prodigalson story.
(39:32):
When the father sees a son whowished him dead and wanted his
inheritance and ran away, livedin crazy living, he smelled like
sin, looked like sin, came hometo just even eat the pig pods
that the pigs left behindbecause he was starving.
His father didn't lecture him.
(39:54):
He ran out and ordered thefatted pig to be killed and a
new robe and a ring, and herestored his son because he was
lost.
And him turning home, where hecame, I can't do this.
I'm gonna go back to my dad'shouse.
When he turned home, healingbegan for that young man.
(40:18):
It's why God meets us.
Didn't he meet you there?
He met me there.
You know, the slide goes on thathere's our new reality.
There's a God, and it's not me.
That seems like such a simplething to say, but it is the
(40:43):
healthiest thing you can say,because that really is true.
And the quicker you embracethat, the quicker you'll connect
to God's presence and the power.
So I'm gonna give you a few morethings, and probably gonna I'm
gonna continue this in part twonext week, because this is such
(41:04):
a big subject, and I don't Iwant to give you guys
opportunities to respond.
I'd love some comments or maybeprayer requests of somebody in
your family, because you mightbe dealing with this in yourself
or with one of your kids today.
And so here's you know, here's atruth that John writes about,
(41:25):
and I wholeheartedly agree.
Our spiritual life always startswith the recognition of
powerlessness.
And why is that?
What Jesus said, he didn't comefor the healthy, but for people
who were sick, I would go on tosay who knew they were sick.
(41:48):
People who had a stigma, peoplewho were marked by a community,
people were outcasts, women whohad the letter A sewn on their
garments.
You know, people who wereaccused, people who were
(42:08):
marginalized.
That's what Jesus chose.
I mean, I mean, look at his bandof disciples.
He had a he had an IRS agent,some fishermen, you know, the
sons of thunder, you know, likea camel jockey gang.
They, you know, they wanted,they're the ones bringing fire
(42:29):
down from heaven.
You know, they, you know, he hadall kinds of disciples that
didn't come from the status quoof the rabbis.
And Jesus turned them all intothese incredible, laid-down
(42:50):
lovers of Jesus.
And they they failed for all ofus to read about all the
mistakes they made, and yet Godused them profoundly to
establish this church.
It's still going on.
And so, you know, part of whatyou and I gotta realize is that
(43:14):
when we, you know, admit thatwe're powerless over anything,
and we we we draw other peopleinto that thing.
There's incredible healingthere.
And let me say this.
When's the last time you'veconfessed your own brokenness to
(43:38):
your children?
Now, I'm not talking aboutlittle tiny kids, but as they're
growing up, who in your familyteaches your kids how to admit
that they're powerless overtheir stuff that they can't fix
themselves?
Because we model we model asparents, and I think we err on
(44:00):
the side of performance andfollow-through and good manners
and family tradition and obeyingGod and going to church and you
know, uh being faithful.
There's all some great familyvalues that we have.
But uh the most important familyvalue that Jesus wants you and I
(44:22):
to have is when we go, I can'tdo, I'm broken.
And without Jesus in my life, II can't fix it, but He can.
And see, when you teach yourchildren how to come back from
the abyss, your grandchildrenare gonna learn it too, one day.
(44:44):
Because the truth of the matteris the the spear of the point of
the spear in spiritual assaulton and most of Christendom, it's
not just pastors on stages.
And there's there's a lot ofthem we've seen fall who God is
(45:06):
exposed.
And and when they confess it,there's incredible, it's an
incredible message to thechurch.
But it's our children.
He's after our kids.
And so one of the best defensesfor that and in how you help
them get out of the abyss, isthey they need a model of how
(45:28):
that happens.
They're not going to learn ifthey if they think that your
life was perfect.
And I and I got a lot of funstories about how God has done a
lot of things, and I'm sograteful because I really
believe that I can't, but hereally can.
But I wasn't very good in thebeginning at all, and I still
(45:52):
struggle with sharing weakness.
That I need prayer for this.
Because I want to be big ed, youknow, and have the answers.
How about you?
And the more you're like that,the more your children will
believe, well, you can't relateto me.
You can't relate to how broken Iam, Dad.
(46:16):
I was with a young man thisweek, and he could never tell
his father his mistakes becausehis dad was so brutal in the way
he treated him.
And so he just figured out thatI'm just gonna have to do this
(46:37):
completely by myself.
And I met with him a few weeksago and and I said, So how's it
going?
He says, Really bad.
It's really bad.
I I'm stuck.
I'm drinking too much, I'msmoking dope, I'm I'm ruining my
(47:01):
family, and I know I shouldn't.
I'm afraid to go to church, youknow, because I I haven't made
my life right yet with God.
And I looked at him in a Zoomcoaching call and I said, I got
some really good news for you.
(47:23):
You don't get in with Jesusbecause you get it together
first.
You get in with Jesus when youbring the worst of you to him so
that he can give you the bestthat he has.
(47:44):
We had a teary powerful prayertime.
Because in his family, allmilitary, to show weakness, not
that you were a girly man or asissy.
And yet uh you're the mostpowerful that you are, when you
(48:07):
live in that in that humilitythat is the fruit of you
regularly not only going to theLord and saying, Father, I am
broken in this, forgive my sin.
But when you're willing to sharethat brokenness with a brother,
(48:28):
and then when appropriate, toshare that with your children on
how God has forgiven you.
And I gotta tell you, I I'vetalked to a lot of a lot of
pastors' kids who left thechurch because they never
thought they were ever goodenough.
(48:51):
And that they left and went intothe world because they didn't
want what they were doing todestroy their dad's ministry,
because to my father, that wasthe most important thing in
their mind.
Not actually, but you know, weyou know, we had things with our
own kids.
(49:15):
And there's a real temptation.
Oh, we don't want to share thiswith anybody, but as soon as you
do that, you've you cease to bea real part of that community.
And so I'm gonna I want to stophere.
I I have a lot more with this,and we're gonna continue part
two next week.
(49:36):
But I just I just want to leaveyou with I think one more kind
of picture here.
And and this is really it's kindof the first step after you say
I can't fix myself.
And we're gonna share four morenext week, but here's the first
one, and that is you've got toreally acknowledge your hurt to
(50:00):
God, because he wants to healyou.
And when you when you'rehurting, and and when you're
stuck, if you've been hurt, GodGod really says, I want to heal
you.
But he can't really heal us ifwe don't bring it to him.
So when you let go of thepretense and the and the
(50:23):
positioning that you think youneed to do, and you bring him
those those broken-heartedthings, like the Bible says, he
he heals the brokenhearted andhe binds up their wounds.
I mean, God the Father lovesdoing that with you and I.
But we we could so easily getinto this, you know, name it and
(50:47):
claim it and believe in God, ourheartache over stuff.
Because we think that when wehave heartache, that's not
faith.
But the truth of the matter isthe best thing you can do is
pour out to the Lord how brokenyou feel.
Because he knows it already.
(51:09):
But you go to him and say, Lord,I I my heart is just so
overwhelmed.
I I can't believe my daughter'sin this place, or my son is in
this place, or my grandchild isin this place.
And so, Lord, it just breaks myheart.
I mean, heart is completelybroken, and I I bring this to
(51:29):
you, or you know, issues relatedto your own failure and things.
And so you got to sort of cleanup your act before you come to
God.
That the truth of the matter isthat as soon as we do that,
we're we're without saying thisdirectly but indirectly, I'm
saying, uh, Jesus, you know, I Idon't need what you did for me
(51:52):
on the cross.
I can fix myself.
Or I can fix this person in myfamily.
And uh man, I my our familylearned this uh years ago.
I'll just kind of close withthis.
(52:14):
Is that we had an opportunity tobecause this person that we knew
was their daughter was reallystuck in she you know, she was
an alcoholic and an addict andand drugs and putting herself in
harm's way and you know, passingout, and I mean just you know,
(52:39):
just a horrible addiction.
And um really thought, you know,we just we'd move them into our
family and uh we're just gonnalove her into a new place.
You ever try to do that?
But we didn't know the what theheck we were doing, and uh and
(53:01):
in the midst of it, I mean it uhI mean we we we had a we had a
it's like the God's uh God's uhmercy on us exposed that you you
can't fix her.
We loved her to death, stilllove her.
And I guess she's uh she's sobertoday, she's doing great and
(53:26):
walking with Jesus.
And but man, it was it was amess, and and it did us in
because we felt like we justdidn't do enough.
Maybe we should have triedsomething different, or you
know, we we just we just didn'tdo enough.
(53:48):
We we thought that we could bepart of the cure.
And boy, that's a slipperyslope.
And when you're in that place,you can if you lose a child or
go through something horriblelike that, you're gonna you're
gonna feel guilty, or you'llyou'll blame God in the midst of
that.
And and it's so easy for us towrite ourselves into the healing
(54:10):
of people that we love.
It's very subtle.
We get a few victories and wethink we can fix them.
I I call it when I big edpeople.
I mean, I I've I've seenincredible miracles in my life,
and I'm so grateful.
People saved and all over theworld.
(54:35):
But God did all that.
Ed didn't do that.
But when you start dealing withpeople that are really close to
you and you love them, you youhave this uh place in you where
you're you you you have thisbelief, well I I can fix them.
It's very subtle.
And uh and it doesn't work, andand boy, we uh we gave all that
(55:00):
we had as a family, and and wewe were all in serious trauma
trying to save this girl, andand she wasn't ready.
She wasn't we I mean we went outand rescued her from a gang of
wicked men.
We you know, I put myself injeopardy.
(55:23):
Almost got arrested by thepolice and going to a drug house
and I mean all all these things.
I was so involved in making thishappen.
And you know the lesson thatcame out of that was that I it's
(55:45):
like from the Lord, he said, Youcan't fix yourself.
How are you gonna fix somebodyelse?
And I remember just uh coming tohim and saying, God, I can't do
it.
(56:06):
I can't fix myself, I can't fixher, I can't fix anybody.
I mean, I had people in mychurch that I absolutely loved
and cared for, led many of themto Christ, and they would start
going sideways and commitadultery on their wife, and I'd
call them in and help them tryto bring them back, and they
would just destroy theirmarriage in front of me.
(56:28):
And I would take it so personal,like what's wrong with me?
Uh is highlighted beyond of whatGod thinks about you because he
loves you, knows how fullybroken you are, but his
(56:53):
requirement for enduing you withhis power is that you let go of
yours.
And that's my point tonight.
And the more you let go of yourpersonal power and you're trying
to will something to happen, andthe more you lean in to what
(57:17):
he's doing, there's incrediblelessons for you, and that'll be
the best way for you to begin totransition and help your
children.
Because when they see the modelin you, dad or mom, if you're
watching, it's going to givethem incredible hope.
(57:38):
And so I'm going to pray forthose that are watching.
And I actually have an onlinemen's group.
If you're not part of ouracademy, I have an online men's
group that starts actually intwo minutes.
Been long-winded night.
Thanks for hanging with me, allyou that are here on all the
platforms.
I'm so grateful to be here.
But I want to end in prayer, anduh we have a little offer at the
(58:04):
end of this.
And next week we're going to getto part two about this.
But um, I just want to pray withyou right now.
Father, I just want to lead youin a prayer.
Would you just pray this with meto say, Jesus, right now, I
can't fix myself, I can't fix mykids, but you can.
(58:29):
And Father, I invite you intothat place in me, those places
I've hidden, so that I canlearn, I can become a roadmap
when my children watch how Iinteract with you.
Father, I just give you myfamilies.
(58:50):
We give you our families, wegive you those impossible people
we deal with, we give you ourfriends, and we say, Lord, we
can't fix them, but you can.
And we ask you to heal us in thename of Jesus and to make us
yours completely to where ourboast at the end of the day is
(59:12):
whatever you see is because heGod has blessed me by forgiving
me and giving his son.
And he can do the same for you.
And August people said, Amen.
Love you, gotta bounce.
Check us out atthefatherdifference.com.
(59:34):
Watch this uh little videobefore we close.
If you need coaching orsomething, go to my website,
thefatherdifference.com.
We'd love to help you and yourfamily.
And the Lord bless you, myfriends.
Never too late for a newbeginning.
God bless.
SPEAKER_00 (59:52):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00:07):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's going to dosomething profound.
He's going to turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(01:00:28):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I meet dads daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured through bitterness and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(01:00:51):
That's why we're launching anonline community to equip men to
be the fathers that God hascalled them to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood as a sacred calling
rooted in the teachings ofChrist.
(01:01:12):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration that helps themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(01:01:35):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, andultimately our nation, anchoring
each child here's a vision inthe unwavering love and guidance
of a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:57):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hope-filled future for
generations to come.
(01:02:18):
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
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