October 29, 2024 • 55 mins
The promise of fatherhood represents God sharing His most significant role with us, giving men the opportunity to reflect His character to their children and make a profound difference in their lives. When we understand how God fathers us, we can father our children in ways that unlock their potential and shape their identity.
• Fatherhood is one of the greatest gifts to men, enabling them to profoundly impact their children's lives
• The first image children have of God is often through how their fathers treat them
• Children constantly watch and imitate their fathers, looking to them for identity and approval
• Fathers who didn't receive proper fathering themselves can be "re-fathered" by God
• Being physically and emotionally present for children creates powerful moments of connection
• Creating family traditions like cooking meals together can provide opportunities for meaningful conversations
• The way we father our children affects not just them but everyone they interact with
• Understanding God as our Father equips us to become the parents our children need
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, welcome, I'm your host, Ed Tanney-McLasson,
and welcome to the FatherDifference Live.
We got started just a littlebit late tonight and I'm kind of
dropping in the slides rightnow.
We had a little technicaldifficulty, but I am here.
I am so grateful that you'rehere.
(00:23):
Difficulty, but I am here.
I am so grateful that you'rehere and I am looking forward to
sharing this incrediblypowerful you know picture of
what God does in our lives andreally there's something that's
really powerful for you and Ithought I'd just play this clip
(00:45):
for you.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(01:08):
It's a powerful mission andtoday we're going to explore
exactly how you can take stepstoward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, grow.
I believe god has somethingpowerful for you in today's
message.
(01:29):
Whether you're tuning in liveor watching this later, we are
so excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the fatherdifference live.
You can sign up below and nowyour host, a husband, father,
grandfather, author and formerNFL player, Pastor Ed McGlasson.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Hey, welcome.
It's good to be with you herefrom a bright and sunny side in
California.
Love to hear where you aretoday.
I'm flying solo, my team is enroute but out of cell phone
range, but I am so glad to behere with you and, yes, I'm
sporting my Make Fathers GreatAgain.
(02:21):
That's what God, I think, is itup to, even in our election, in
our country and in your countryin the world, is that God's
doing something that, profoundly, will change and empower you,
dad, to be the best husband andfather you can be.
If you're married, if you'resingle or a single dad, your
(02:45):
voice matters.
We're going to talk about thegift of fatherhood today and why
that's so important and why isthat such an powerful thing in
the world today.
So I'm going to start.
I want you just to take aminute and just think about
maybe a word to describesomething that you got from your
(03:10):
dad.
You could have had kind of adad that wasn't there and never
had a father, or a dad that wasthere but maybe not emotionally
present, or a father that sewedthings into you.
I'd love to hear from you.
Welcome, dave, tonight, thoseof you who are joining.
As I said earlier.
I'm flying solo and I was anoffensive center and I should be
(03:33):
able to do this because I hadto snap the ball.
Listen to the calls, listen tothe checkoff colors Omaha, omaha
or something like that.
Get the ball to the quarterback.
Handle the nose guard that wasin front of me, which I sort of
kind of do in my ministry herethat God's given me.
I kind of help men root outthat nose guard of unbelief that
(03:56):
trying to, you know, make yourlife hell.
Snap you to football, dad, youget to play quarterback and
ultimately, the way you fatheryour kids can make a change not
only in the way you see yourself, but for their lives as a dad,
and that's because God wants tomake fathers great again.
(04:18):
He wants you to do that.
I know that looks like the Trumphat and you're thinking I'm
being all political.
Well, I'm not totally beingpolitical, but I think this vote
is probably the most importantfor fathers and men that we've
probably had in my lifetime.
I encourage you, if you haven'tvoted yet, get out and vote.
So important to do that, andI'm praying for my brothers in
(04:41):
the church that we would, youknow, really put our money where
our heart is and get out thereand make a difference and vote,
because if we don't vote,somebody else is getting to
choose how you father yourfamily, choose how you live in
your city those mayors, the citycouncil members, the school
(05:02):
board members all of those.
It's really important.
You might not even like thepersonality of the people you're
voting for, but you vote basedon the criteria of what the
Bible has called us to live inas a family the things you need
as a dad, as a husband, as afather and your family.
So get out there and vote.
(05:22):
So I encourage you.
That's my commercial for doingthat, but I'm sporting this hat
and I love wearing it around.
But I want you to imagine andcome up maybe with a single word
in your mind of your experiencewith your dad.
It could be a powerful word.
I know I've shared this at many, many conferences around the
(05:44):
world.
I've actually done events in 14different countries.
My book, the Difference aFather Makes, now has spread to
over 231 countries.
If you're a donor or you're apart of our stewardship team,
thank you so much for whatyou're giving.
You're enabling that book, theDifference a Father Makes, to
(06:05):
get everywhere and we give thataway absolutely free, and God
asks us to do it, and we'retrusting them to keep the wheels
on the bus while the bus isstill going out every day and
spreading this message.
So what's that single word youtake away from your time of
(06:26):
being fathered by your dad?
And so we're talking about,really, the promise of
fatherhood is kind of today andGod sharing the most significant
(06:47):
role he has as a Father to Hiscreation, to us, to the world,
and we are never more like God.
You know, someone once wrote Idon't know who the original
writer was that the first imageof who God can possibly be is
(07:08):
the way your children look atyou, dad.
Well, I didn't know that untilearly, dad, how about you?
But I just had to make themoney, come home, keep them safe
.
All part of the problem, jill,was raising the kids, but I
didn't know that my words andthe way I fathered them could
have such a significant impact.
(07:31):
And to really be the kind of manthat becomes a great father,
you learn how to really do thethings that really can unlock
your children into the life,into the plan that God has for
them, because I think I don'tknow a single dad who doesn't
want their kids to maybe be abetter man or a better father
(07:54):
one day than they are, and soyou can't just hope that that
happens on purpose.
And there's probably nothingmore powerful in the whole world
, in any community, than fatherswho are making a difference.
Guys, just like you, father andyour kid, you might not think
(08:14):
you make much of a difference,but I got to tell you.
I'm on social media and youknow we're all over the place,
just all over the world.
Oh, there, I am in front ofMount Sinai.
They're one of my paintings inmy studio.
But we're, you know, when weget in front of kids, they're
(08:36):
watching all the time.
They're watching all the time,they're constantly looking at us
, they're following us, they'reimitating us, and so that kind
of man that we are, and the morewe connect to who God, the
Father's, called us to be, thebigger impact we're going to
(08:57):
make.
And so when you think of thatword was it positive or negative
with your dad and I got reallygood news for you.
One of the greatest truths aboutthe gospel of Jesus is that if,
say, your dad didn't reallyknow how to be a good father to
(09:18):
you, well, you don't need to bestuck the rest of your life
struggling being a dad.
He has actually a plan tore-father you in a way where you
can bless your dad, because yourealize that, because I know
that most dads, even dads whostarted really bad, want to be
(09:40):
the best dads they can be.
They just never got muchtraining equipment from their
own fathers.
My stepdad, who was the dad ofmy story, my real dad, was
killed in action.
He did the best of what he had.
He went to work every day inthe Navy submarine service,
(10:01):
submarine commander.
He struggled when he came home,not quite knowing what to do.
I remember one of those earlyfathering moments where he
discovered that you know he waswatching me in baseball step out
of the batter's box, which iscausing me to strike out,
(10:22):
because I was afraid in the verybeginning playing baseball I
would get hit by the ball.
So I was scared of that littleround thing that was coming.
It wasn't going 100 miles anhour like Nolan Ryan, but to a
little kid I mean, that's aprojectile.
And so he got really frustratedone day about you know with me.
(10:44):
It's like what's wrong with you, and he probably didn't handle
it really well.
But he went out and he took oneof my football helmets, put it
on my head, got 10 feet awayfrom me at a playground, got on
the pitcher's mound and startedthrowing balls right at my
helmet.
And started throwing ballsright at my helmet and he goes.
(11:07):
Did that hurt?
And it made me cry at first andthen it made me mad and so,
really, once it ricocheted offmy helmet it was like that
didn't hurt, you know.
So he threw it again.
I remember one of the trainingtimes I hit one right back at
him.
I mean, I hit it.
I got so mad at him I forgotabout how fast the ball was
(11:29):
coming.
I hit it right back at him andit hit him kind of in the family
jewels, you know, I'm just likean eight-year-old kid, you know
, and he's like going down andhe's now mad at me.
Then I know it's a miracle thatI hit one.
(11:51):
I was just so afraid.
The fear was hitting me but Ihad that helmet on it made me
angry.
I hit him and he goes.
You did that on purpose and me,being a smart ass kid, I went.
That would have had to be in areal good shot.
That, and me being a smart-asskid I went.
That would have had to be in areal good shot.
That was such a small area.
He did not appreciate that.
That did not go well in the car, in the way.
(12:15):
But you know what he gave me,what he had, and you know I got
hit by the ball a number oftimes and it never bothered me
because you know I took theshots, and the hard shots from
my dad.
Now you might say, well, thatwas kind of abusive, well, it
was on the edge of that.
I didn't get hurt or not, buthe was trying to help me face my
(12:39):
fear.
Dad, there is like a powerfulanchor for the forming of your
identity as a boy or as adaughter, and when you don't
have that in your story, youstruggle Because you look,
(13:01):
you're always looking for him.
It's amazing.
My wife never missed a singleevent.
But, boy, things changed when Iwalked on the baseball field
and sat in the stands.
Things changed when I showed upat my son's golf match and he
saw me.
There's that look from thefield, there's a look towards
(13:25):
the stands, because God's putsomething in you that nobody
else will ever carry A greatfriend of mine, a football coach
.
He had one game to make it intothe playoffs for the first time
and he was all excited.
He's back in Boise and has agreat church out there and he
(13:50):
had this kid on the team thatalways wanted to play but he
never let him get in.
He was always just, you know,he was afraid he was going to
get hurt.
He was just so skinny and so heit was the last drive of the
game.
They had the ball, they were.
They were down by three points,which are arch nemesis are
(14:15):
playing against another team andthe clock is running down, the
field is sloppy because of allthe rain running down the field
is sloppy because of all therain, and so this kid, just all
game long, is going over andjust going.
Can I play?
Can I play?
Let me just go in for one play.
And so the coach last game ofthe season kid didn't play a
(14:38):
single play out in the field thewhole year.
He goes okay, go in, go, pullsomebody out.
And so he's getting ready tocall a play to send in with one
of his running backs and helooks out of the corner of his
eyes and he sees his quarterbackrunning off the field, the
(15:10):
field, and this kid who's likeyou know, he's five foot 11, a
hundred and nothing pounds withhis football gear, you know,
kind of hung on him like wetdrapes, right, he didn't fill
that out and he went.
And by the time the coach istrying to run down to call
timeout, the fans are screaming.
It's the last play of the game.
And this kid gets under centerand calls a play and the
(15:32):
quarterback the center snaps theball, it goes through the hands
of this kid who had not playedall year and it hydroplanes
between his legs where hedoesn't even get the ball and it
goes right back to the fullbackwho picks it out of the mud,
(15:55):
runs to the right scores andwins the game.
And the plays went crazy.
They're in the playoffs for thefirst time.
This kid, who never plays, he'sjumping all over the field,
right Like Kermit the Frog,right From the Muppets, and he's
just screaming how did I do?
How did I do?
(16:16):
And the head coach is goingwhat do you mean?
How did you do?
You weren't supposed to go inand play quarterback.
How did I do?
He kept saying how did I do?
You weren't supposed to go inand play quarterback.
How did I do?
He kept saying how did I do?
And the coaches go, what do youmean, how do you do?
And he realized that the boy onthe field was looking over his
(16:37):
head into the stands and hisfather, who had never come to a
football game, was in the standsscreaming you did great, son,
you did great.
And imagine having that kind ofexperience with your dad.
(17:08):
Maybe you had some of those,but imagine altogether that you
had that kind of relationshipwith God, the Father.
Imagine Him being in your story, because when you're not
(17:28):
fathered, you have the potentialof just a devastating end for
so many.
I mean, if you want to get thesymptom of the culture that we
live in, the craziness of ourculture.
Even some of the yahoos are inthe craziness of our culture.
Even some of the yahoos aretrying to run into the political
(17:49):
spectrum.
Unfathered girls, unfatheredboys, those who had dads, have a
far different level ofcharacter and fall through than
those who didn't.
It's a reality and it's a sadstory.
Last week I shared with you justabout the famous boy band Liam
(18:13):
Payne.
This is the last image he putup on his Instagram and this is
what they found in his hotelroom.
And if you know his story atall.
(18:34):
He had grown up in a home.
The divorce of his parentscaused, in his own words, a lot
of trauma, in his own words, alot of trauma, and he had to
deal with his father going inand out of addiction and he made
(18:58):
a pledge two years before thisthat, when asked about his dad,
because it was very hurtful tohim, because he loved his father
you could have been a reallybad dad, but your children love
you and they need you in theirstory to help them navigate and
discover who God's calling themto be and when you're not there
(19:23):
or you get separated and you'renot connecting with them.
I mean, this kid had it all and,you know, went through a you
know, one of those America GotTalent shows and became this
rock star and made all thismoney.
And now his father just isliving with the fact that he got
(19:52):
dislocated from his son and hisson evidently from these drugs
right here on this table that hewas partying with.
One of the drugs was pinkcocaine.
I don't even know what that is.
He lost his balance on abalcony and fell to his death.
(20:13):
Just imagine, maybe imagine,what his life could have been
differently if Liam had had adad?
I mean, here's his statement in2019 about his dad's addiction
(20:34):
that it had a significant impacton his childhood.
But today, jeff, my dad hasmade his efforts to recover and
rebuild his life.
Liam now is focusing on hismusic and personal well-being
and it doesn't matter how muchwe hate those broken places in
(20:58):
our own father.
If we don't get those healed inus in a real way, get
re-fathered in our own story, wecan pass that right along.
And you know what's interesting?
I ask this in my men'sconferences around the world the
ones you know how many of youmade promises as a dad to not do
(21:25):
some of the same hurtful thingsthat your father did to you, to
your children?
And boy hands go up everywhere.
I said how many of you havebroken the same promises?
Notice, every same hand goes up.
It's because we start out ourmodel of manhood and who we are
(21:47):
and being a father based on howwe were fathered.
And if those things that wecarry from our childhood don't
get dealt with and we ultimatelygive those to God to deal with
and in a real way we're going tosee in a moment re-father us,
(22:07):
we can carry those into ourchildren's lives and the same
beast and the same giant that wedidn't defeat that was in us
becomes the same giant ourchildren have to face us becomes
the same giant our childrenhave to face and because we
(22:30):
don't defeat it, it becomes thisundefeatable foe.
And even though you might hatewhat your dad had done or didn't
do in your own story, you can'twill yourself into a place of
being different, because 50% ofyou is your dad, 50% your mom,
and you know God's made fathersand mothers to be these two
(22:55):
amazing opportunities to be andto be present and loving with
our children in profound ways.
So how's God going to do that?
How's he going to change someof that in us?
Well, here's a few thoughts Iwant to share with you.
I'll let you know at the end.
There's going to be an offer.
We also have an online coachingcommunity where there's a
(23:20):
longer version of what I'm doinghere that's available for those
who join our Fatherhood Academy.
We have an academy online forfathers and brand new thing
We've had it for a while under adifferent name and so that
academy is a place for you to goand grow and learn how to be
the best father you can be.
(23:41):
If you're interested, hangaround to the end.
I've got a special offer foryou.
And so you know, jesus made thisstatement and no, I've got a
statement that Jesus made, butin the book of Lamentations as
(24:01):
he's.
You know, writing this book andlooking at the culture after
the Babylonian empire was just areally perverted.
And you know everything thatwe're experiencing now in our
(24:31):
culture, in the United States ofAmerica and around the world, I
mean all the craziness, thegender confusion, all that kind
of stuff was happening aroundthe people of Israel and God's
promise was that he was theirhealer and if they didn't follow
after these other gods of theland, these other idols of the
land, god would heal them andkeep those things from grabbing
(24:53):
them.
But the result of it, of beingin the midst of this time, is,
you know he's writing the bookof Lamentations.
He writes this verse and itjust hit me right between the
eyes and it says Orphans, we arenot a father in sight and our
mothers are no better thanwidows.
(25:16):
And you know, beloved, right nowin the United States of America
there are too many kids singingthis song.
You know there's a pastor inChicago, or maybe Detroit,
rooftop Revelations.
If you've never seen this guyor watched him, I encourage you
to support him, pray for him.
(25:37):
He got up on the roof and he'srebuilding these shelters for
these unfathered boys and girlsand giving them he's really
refathering him Just a marvelous.
Marvelous expression of what aman can do for a kid without a
dad.
But the promise you know, andthat's kind of orphans.
(25:59):
We are not a father in sightand yet, boy, isn't that true?
And it doesn't need to be thatway.
And part of that is that thedevil knows that if he can get
you, or the other fathers youknow, or the men you know that
are dads, are going to be dadsand being overwhelmed and away
(26:21):
from being good fathers to theirchildren, becoming a great
father to their family history,he can get your kids and he can
get your grandkids.
That's what he wants.
But the devil wants to be theone to inform your sons, your
daughters, your grandkids whothey are.
And isn't it interesting?
And every time there'srebellion on the earth, it's
(26:45):
like the deviation away fromGod's plan of true identity all
becomes about.
You know, people begin to namethemselves around their sexual
appetites, and who is the bestguy to marshal that in a family.
It's a dad, a dad who walkswith God, a dad who, you know,
(27:11):
builds a home that's safe andpays attention to the struggles
of the kids.
I mean, I'm saying these thingsbecause you, my friend, are an
amazing gift.
I'm saying these things becauseyou, my friend, are an amazing
gift.
There's an incredible speechthat happened at one of the—you
(27:31):
can find it Tucker Carlson, andthe title of it.
I called it.
It said Dad's Home and he'sPissed.
He talked about family andfatherhood and how, as a dad,
that fathers need to rise up.
We can't just, you know,politically call them out and
demonize them and bust them up,because there's so much shame
(27:54):
that comes towards us when weknow we're not quite the father
we need to be.
But God has a plan to changethat in you, to change that in
me and man, that's good news.
And now the Bible says this.
But there's this great promisefrom Jesus in John 14.
(28:15):
He says I won't leave you asorphans.
He's talking at the end of Hisministry with His people.
He's talking about the end ofhis ministry with his people.
He's talking about the Fatherand the love of his Father.
And he goes I won't leave youas orphans.
The word orphan there isprobably best translated I won't
leave you fatherless.
Because he's talking to men andwomen and to disciples who had
(28:40):
dads on earth.
They weren't orphans like.
They got no dad.
They have no mom Not in goodEnglish there, right but they
didn't have that father and he'dbeen modeling who the father
was over and over.
And look what he says.
Yet in a little while and theworld will see me no more, but
(29:01):
you're going to see me, see,when we have Christ and born
again.
He's with us, he's in us and weget to see Him working in our
lives and through our lives, weget to experience and do things
that we could not possibly dowithout Him.
Because I live.
He says "'Because I live' hesays, "'you also live'".
(29:24):
I mean, that's his promise toyou and to me.
I grab that word today.
That's mine, you know.
I find something in the Biblethat's powerful.
I grab it, I go.
That's mine.
You know, because you live,jesus, and you're in me, I'm
going to live.
And then he goes "'And that daywhen you understand—because
Christ is going to leave Hisdisciples and leave them on
(29:47):
earth not alone—He sends thepromise of the Holy Spirit.
But he's talking about.
Not only that when he goes andhe's crucified and he's raised
from the dead, something gets tochange for you and me.
And that day you will know.
You're going to know somethingwhen you see me go up, even when
(30:10):
he went up, finally to HisFather.
And that day you're going toknow that I'm in my Father, I am
in my Father, me and my Fatherare one.
And not only that I got to tellyou what a promise here and you
are in me and I in you.
(30:31):
It's the way that you know.
When you say it that way, it'slike you're in me.
We all know that.
We know the desire of Jesus isto live in you, to build His
home on earth in you.
You're even called the templeof the Holy Spirit, and he does
(30:51):
that because he wants you toexperience what it's like to be
a son, to be loved, to havesomebody with you as a man,
where you're not trying to dolife alone.
I meet so many guys around theworld that don't have other guys
to talk to.
I was with a young squire thispast week and he has some people
(31:14):
, but he doesn't have anybody totalk to when he's broken.
He doesn't have a guy there tolift his arms up when he's
knocked down.
Hey, good to see you, jill,welcome, chris, I love you Great
.
They're my cousins.
I got to spend time with theiramazing son, who's an actor who
(31:35):
came out, been eating somecarnivore steaks with him.
So good to have you here and,bennett, good to see you here as
well.
But something, by the way, youraised an extraordinary son.
Just love who he is hanging outwith him.
I I gotta tell you I just I'msorry I'm I'm digressing a
(31:57):
little bit.
I saw some of my friends onlinehanging out with your son.
I know that when I get to hangaround somebody's son, I get to
really understand who the momand dad are.
And I got to tell you I've beenaround a lot of young people I
mean all kinds of young peopleand they're like into themselves
(32:17):
, whatever, they're distractedall the time.
But I've never had somebodylike your son come here, hang
out with me, eat steaks with me,fed him some great steaks,
great conversation, asking thesegreat questions about how to
walk with God and do acting andall that kind of stuff here in
LA, and he must have thanked me50 times.
(32:42):
I mean I just can't tell youhow much this means to me.
Thank you so much.
He's just so polite.
He's like a Southern gentleman.
So I think, chris, when that'smy cousin, and Jill, his amazing
, beautiful bride, by the way,if you ever get around them,
(33:03):
they are you.
Just look them up on Instagram.
They have these wellness things.
They do with people and, by you, want your health to turn
around.
These are people that you wantto go to.
They're powerful, they're justpowerful people.
So enough of that, but back tokind of what I was sharing about
as I saw, my friends.
(33:23):
Isn't it great when yourfriends are around, when your
family is around.
They're my kin.
I remember saying to Colin youhave access here to me, in my
house, in my home, in my family,because you are kin.
Guys, god's done so many thingsin me to bring me to that point
(33:44):
, to where you, your role as afather, is not just for your kid
but it's also for those thatyour kids hang around.
I remember in high school youtalk about the miraculous change
in yours truly when I first gotmarried.
(34:09):
I mean everything was aboutfootball, my diet, my stuff, me
working out, and my kids were adistant third.
Jill was sort of number two,but the ministry and the travel
many times pushed her to numberthree or four.
The ministry and the travelmany times pushed her to number
three or four and God had to dosomething in me because I
(34:40):
discovered quickly that myidentity had shifted from pro
football to now trying to provemyself with God and ministry and
any kind of identity that webuild.
It may be a great thing you do.
If you lose your family.
You won't ever feel like youbreak through the way you need
to, though God can redeem allthose stories you don't want to
(35:04):
lose.
Your kids and Callie and I weretalking together is that God
began to give me not only aheart for my daughters and my
sons.
I took them to dances and I tookmy daughter Mary to a prom
dance because she couldn't finda man in the high school, and I
trained her.
Only to go out with men.
So they actually had theinterview with me and none of
them passed the test.
Only to go out with men.
(35:26):
So they actually had theinterview with me and none of
them passed the test.
I chased a lot of thesepretenders away.
I scared the crap out of them.
I did.
I looked at them and I didn'tclean my shotgun in front of
them but I let them know wheremy gun came from.
And I had this one guy who wasso nervous when he came in to
date my daughter that hemisspoke.
(35:47):
And he said can I have yourdaughter?
I said what you know?
Can I have her?
I said, oh no, you can't havemy daughter.
No, no, no, I mean, I'm sorry,I'm just so nervous, I want to
take her on a date.
And I just looked at him and Isaid young man, young squire,
(36:11):
I'm sure your intentions aregood, but you're just not man
enough to take my daughter on adate.
Yet when you give your life toChrist and here and then I gave
him my book, the Difference OurFather Makes.
And when you give your life toChrist and here—and then I gave
him my book, the Difference OurFather Makes I said you read my
book, come back in about a yearand take another shot, because
my daughter Mary will just eatyou up.
She's too much of a woman.
(36:31):
You will get totallydiscouraged.
And although she's beautifuland you want to date her, she's
ready, but you're not.
And he looks at me and hisdumbfounded look changes to gosh
.
I wish you would have been mydad.
You know my sister.
(36:54):
She's 17 years old and she'spregnant, trying to decide if
she's going to have an abortion,and my father just makes a lot
of money.
He's just not around and I'mhere to tell you there's dad
(37:25):
rises up or mom, and reallybecomes that father or that mom,
because God also wants to makemoms great again To your
children.
They need you as parents morethan anything else right now to
navigate the distraction of thislittle device that interrupts
(37:49):
families, that costs more thanour electricity per phone.
Isn't it crazy the way we live?
Instant communication, and soit's Christ in you.
And Jesus promised he won'tleave his office.
Oh yeah, let me finish thatstory.
They started so I take Mary tothe dance and there's a whole
(38:15):
bunch of guys there watching me,this old fart who had popped
four Advil and went out on thedance floor and man, I was doing
my best and I told him.
I said I'm not responsible andher girlfriends all left their
dates like a big, gigantichuddle with about 20 girls.
(38:36):
A lot of them were cheerleadingfriends and my daughter, mary,
and and we I was spinning themand dancing with them and you
know, and I said I'm going tobust the move and I'm not
responsible for what it might do.
And they played along with meand I I tried to do something.
You know, I'm still a white boy, but I got.
(38:58):
You know, I got some brother inme too, and they all acted like
whoo, you know, and we had sucha fun time.
And the next morning we got upand Mary said Dad, you'll just
never know how much that meantto me for you to be there.
And I have all these friendswho just they want a dad like
(39:22):
you.
And I said, well, invite themover, I'll cook, like what we
used to do is cook thesegigantic spaghetti dinners.
I mean, just we would fill upthese gigantic pasta bowls.
I'm not even Italian, but Ilike to eat gigantic pasta bowls
.
I'm not even Italian, but Ilike to eat.
And so I, you know I would makewhat we'd call this triple
(39:44):
sauce.
You know it was a Parmesansauce, it was.
You know all these differentsauces.
We'd make fettuccine, alfredosauce and arbiata sauce and
these gigantic dishes, and sitaround and just do family and
ultimately, those nights, mydaughters would lead a lot of
(40:06):
the conversations.
And it was.
It was incredible.
My wife and I and her brothersand sisters, we just did family
in front of these girls andprayed for many of them, saw
many of them come to Christ.
Nothing fancy, nothingsophisticated, but just being
(40:33):
there was incredibly powerful.
There was incredibly powerfuland I'm sharing this with you
tonight because—and there's apart two to all of this and a
matter of fact I'd love toinvite you even to our live
coaching.
There's an extended version ofthis.
(40:55):
I'm going to finish the rest ofthis next week just for the
sake of time.
But you know part of thatincredible promise, of that
verse, that you're going to livewhen you live in Christ and the
(41:15):
Father, and you're going toknow that Jesus is in His Father
and you are in Him and he is inyou.
And so, no matter what yourfamily's facing, no matter what
you're going through in yourlife, god has promised, as a
(41:37):
matter of fact and I'll justshare one more verse with you,
just that I have, because you'regoing to go to the head of the
class because you guys can takeit, but I want to be because I
have another coaching group thatI do here shortly but and he
and I just want to share thispromise and kind of tie this
(42:01):
together, and we're going topray tonight that fatherhood is
one of the greatest gifts to usas men and you can put in your
motherhood if you're a mom, it'sone of the greatest gifts that
we get.
And God sent His Son, jesus, tomake us sons and daughters and
(42:22):
so that the way he fathers us—nomatter if you had a good dad or
not and 2 Corinthians 6.18 saysand I'll be a father to you and
you will be my sons anddaughters, says the Lord, god
Almighty, and the way he fathersyou, as you're being fathered
by him every day, that willbegin to equip you to be more
(42:52):
like his son and equip you atthe same time to father or
mother our sons and daughters,the same way that God fathers us
.
See, that's what the fatherdifference is.
That's what our ministry isabout.
When God, the Father, fathersyou, you're going to be able to
(43:13):
be really the mom and dad thatyour children need you to be,
the mom and dad that yourchildren need you to be, and we
have a number of things that wewant to help you with that.
I'll just share some of theseand I want to pray If you've not
gotten my book the Difference aFather Makes.
I'm just so honored to let youknow that we're pretty much in
(43:39):
every country in the entireworld.
We're even in more countriesaccording to our download
statistics, some that aren'teven really considered
all-the-way countries.
And if you're just new to thischannel, to this program, this
is a gift for you that if youget past the first chapter
(44:02):
without crying, you'll be thefirst, because it's a story of
about how God took a boy me wholost his dad and struggled
because he tried to name himselfby all these things external in
his life football, I mean, allthose things and encountered the
(44:25):
father in a way that reshapedme to be a father who makes a
difference with my kids, and Iam just so, so grateful.
I can't even tell you howgrateful I am.
And also, if you're a gal, wehave a series right now that
(44:45):
we're running on Thursdays at 12o'clock every week live show
and we're continuing on thiswhole journey of learning to
raise sons journey of learningto raise sons how to become a
mom, maybe your single mom toraise sons that change the world
(45:08):
.
And maybe you don't have thehusband.
He's lost, maybe prematurelygone, and he's no longer on
earth, or he's, you know, justleft, he's, you know, just left.
That is something, is aresource that's growing.
Would love to have you thereand ultimately, if you're
interested, if you go to mywebsite, I have a book that
(45:33):
we're actually working throughright now is the Father.
You've Always Want, alwayswanted and would love for you to
have that, but you got to buythis from our website or you can
get the free download online.
They've sold out on Amazon and,matter of fact, if you're
interested in being a supporter,and maybe you can help us in
(45:53):
the reprinting of this book,because we've, we're, we're down
to the the last bones of this,but we got to reprint it so that
we can keep getting it out tothe all the countries that are
reading this and, and reallyit's all about how does god heal
our father wound and to turn usfrom wounds into beloved sons
and daughters.
It's a great book for gals.
(46:15):
It's a great book for gals.
It's a great book for study.
We got a number of things, andso all that to say.
I want to pray for you, be hereevery week and to be considered
(46:40):
by you, to listen to you, hearme out and really catch
something that God gave me.
I didn't become a good fatherbecause I willed it, boy.
I failed miserably for yearsand even trying to be a good
husband, I needed to become adifferent kind of a man, and
(47:02):
that's God's promise for you andfor me, and I learned what it
meant to be a son that he lovedand maybe you're a daughter
watching.
Imagine having a father who issuch an amazing part of your
story that no matter if yourdad's on earth or not and he's
gone, maybe he was a great dadand he's no longer here and you
(47:24):
miss being able to talk to him.
That's what he's made you for,to be fathered by him too, and
the way we receive that in ourlife is understanding that His
whole goal and the fruit and thebenefit of you being saved and
(47:48):
born again and receiving Christas Son into you, you get Christ
in you, the hope of glory, whichthen unlocks the blessing of
the Father for you and over yourlife.
And when you have those twocomponents, where you have,
(48:08):
christes you and makes you theman or woman, the husband, the
father, the stepmom, the stepdad, the single man, the single
(48:31):
woman that he's ultimately,ultimately called you to be, so
that you can make the mostimpact everywhere you go, and I
got to tell you this is the besttime of leading people to
Christ I've ever seen.
(48:51):
It happens to me almost everyday, every time I see somebody
new.
People are hungry, people arescared, people are concerned,
people are overly political,thinking that their answer and
their protection will come fromthe government.
(49:12):
Well, good candidates do offersome protection, but the
ultimate protection that we needfor our families is the
supernatural, spiritualprotection of the fatherhood of
God on us, through us, in us, inhis son, through the power of
(49:33):
the Holy Spirit towards our kids.
Power of the Holy Spirittowards our kids, equipping them
to stand down the demons thatare trying to own their life and
regender them and manipulatethem, and give them voices to
stand up and not be afraid andbe loving and kind and
(49:54):
supernaturally powerful and wiseto know the plan of the enemy
that they can stand against.
It's not what you want for yourkids I do, but it starts with
us as parents first.
It's really hard to discipleyour children when they're not
(50:15):
seeing you live the life thatyou want them to live, and so
God wants to do something in us,and the more we get that for
ourselves, the more secure webecome that God is a good, good
father to our kids too.
He's going to take care of them.
So let's pray, father, I, just Ithank you for my brothers that
are here, the fathers that arehere, the moms that are here,
(50:39):
the gals that are here, thesingle moms that are here, the
grandmas that are here, thegrandpas that have tuned in
tonight.
Father them, lord, Reveal yourfatherhood to them, the gift of
you receiving your sonship ordaughtership from God as your
(50:59):
father, and the inheritance thatGalatians 3 talks about.
It makes us no longer a slaveto anything, any broken thing or
any demonic power in this world, but sets us free to be an heir
to being in you.
And I pray for my brothers andsisters, I pray for their
(51:20):
families, I pray for theirhearts, I pray for wisdom, I
pray for relationship, I prayfor those who say, ed, I want to
go and sign up and be a part ofwhat you're doing here at the
Father Difference, lord, I praythat they'd follow through and
we could work together and seewhat God wants to do.
(51:41):
Thank you, father, for tonight.
Thank you for all that you'regoing to do, thank you for all
the men that we're going to meetlater and coach them and get
deep in becoming the besthusband and father they can be,
and all God's men and women saidAmen, amen, welcome.
(52:04):
I love your comments.
You can email me.
I have a link here somewherefor an email address.
My faithful assistant is notaround, but if you go to my
website, which isthefatherdifferencecom, that's
(52:25):
another deal there.
Let me see, let me find there'sa banner here.
So, oh, here we go.
Anyway, you can go to mywebsite right here.
We have a coaching program onour website.
If you go to that link theFather Difference Coaching
(52:47):
Program and you want some extracoaching, I'd love to help you.
We give you a free 15-minuteappointment and we deal with
something.
We see if it's a good fit, ifit's a good fit for you and
you'd like me to work with youand help you, we have a whole
program that will really benefityou.
It's all donation-based.
Your donations enable us to dowhat we need to do and, as you
(53:08):
you know, come to the end of theyear and everything or maybe
you're looking for a place tosow your wealth in that's really
going to change.
I want you to consider to be apartner and donate to our
ministry.
You click that link right there.
It'll take you to our website.
You can donate monthly.
I'd love to have you as apartner every month, or maybe
(53:31):
you're in a place to really helpus fund the launch of the
Fatherhood Academy.
That's a brand new thing thatwe are building to help men, and
there's a whole section forwomen to come in, because part
of the Fatherhood Academy isalso for gals to be fathered by
God the gift of fatherhood.
(53:53):
He promises to be a father inour life so that we can be the
husbands and fathers, the momsand the wives, the single men,
the single women that he'scalled us to be.
So, if you're interested, Ijust want to encourage you to
sign up and we'll get rid ofthat.
(54:15):
And thank you for, uh, just uh,tuning in tonight and I have a
something on my screen that Ican't figure out how to get rid
of.
Oh, it's got to be one of these.
Come on, help me find thebanner that.
No, that's not it.
Well, anyway, uh, thanks somuch for being here with us, and
(54:40):
if you need to email me, youcan get a hold of me at Ed
Tanney.
Blessing of the Father, I am sograteful to be with you.
Lord bless you.
Have a wonderful night, keep itcoming.
Thank you, jordy.
Mr Valdez, ellen, jill, Vinette, dave Valero, jacques, bless
(55:00):
you, jacques, one of my Frenchbrother names.
I can tell I'm actually aFrenchman myself, and so I'm
just there we go.
I just figured it out.
Even a football player can notonly snap the ball, but he can
figure out this stuff.
So, thank you, it's great to bewith you tonight.
If you have any questions, youcan email me, connect with me.
(55:23):
The Lord bless you.
My friends, we will talk to yousoon.
Remember, it's never too latefor you to be the husband and
father, the wife, the mom thatGod's called you to be.
God bless you.
Well, welcome, I'm your host, Ed Tanney-McLasson,
and welcome to the FatherDifference Live.
We got started just a littlebit late tonight and I'm kind of
dropping in the slides rightnow.
We had a little technicaldifficulty, but I am here.
I am so grateful that you'rehere.
(00:23):
Difficulty, but I am here.
I am so grateful that you'rehere and I am looking forward to
sharing this incrediblypowerful you know picture of
what God does in our lives andreally there's something that's
really powerful for you and Ithought I'd just play this clip
(00:45):
for you.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(01:08):
It's a powerful mission andtoday we're going to explore
exactly how you can take stepstoward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, grow.
I believe god has somethingpowerful for you in today's
message.
(01:29):
Whether you're tuning in liveor watching this later, we are
so excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the fatherdifference live.
You can sign up below and nowyour host, a husband, father,
grandfather, author and formerNFL player, Pastor Ed McGlasson.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Hey, welcome.
It's good to be with you herefrom a bright and sunny side in
California.
Love to hear where you aretoday.
I'm flying solo, my team is enroute but out of cell phone
range, but I am so glad to behere with you and, yes, I'm
sporting my Make Fathers GreatAgain.
(02:21):
That's what God, I think, is itup to, even in our election, in
our country and in your countryin the world, is that God's
doing something that, profoundly, will change and empower you,
dad, to be the best husband andfather you can be.
If you're married, if you'resingle or a single dad, your
(02:45):
voice matters.
We're going to talk about thegift of fatherhood today and why
that's so important and why isthat such an powerful thing in
the world today.
So I'm going to start.
I want you just to take aminute and just think about
maybe a word to describesomething that you got from your
(03:10):
dad.
You could have had kind of adad that wasn't there and never
had a father, or a dad that wasthere but maybe not emotionally
present, or a father that sewedthings into you.
I'd love to hear from you.
Welcome, dave, tonight, thoseof you who are joining.
As I said earlier.
I'm flying solo and I was anoffensive center and I should be
(03:33):
able to do this because I hadto snap the ball.
Listen to the calls, listen tothe checkoff colors Omaha, omaha
or something like that.
Get the ball to the quarterback.
Handle the nose guard that wasin front of me, which I sort of
kind of do in my ministry herethat God's given me.
I kind of help men root outthat nose guard of unbelief that
(03:56):
trying to, you know, make yourlife hell.
Snap you to football, dad, youget to play quarterback and
ultimately, the way you fatheryour kids can make a change not
only in the way you see yourself, but for their lives as a dad,
and that's because God wants tomake fathers great again.
(04:18):
He wants you to do that.
I know that looks like the Trumphat and you're thinking I'm
being all political.
Well, I'm not totally beingpolitical, but I think this vote
is probably the most importantfor fathers and men that we've
probably had in my lifetime.
I encourage you, if you haven'tvoted yet, get out and vote.
So important to do that, andI'm praying for my brothers in
(04:41):
the church that we would, youknow, really put our money where
our heart is and get out thereand make a difference and vote,
because if we don't vote,somebody else is getting to
choose how you father yourfamily, choose how you live in
your city those mayors, the citycouncil members, the school
(05:02):
board members all of those.
It's really important.
You might not even like thepersonality of the people you're
voting for, but you vote basedon the criteria of what the
Bible has called us to live inas a family the things you need
as a dad, as a husband, as afather and your family.
So get out there and vote.
(05:22):
So I encourage you.
That's my commercial for doingthat, but I'm sporting this hat
and I love wearing it around.
But I want you to imagine andcome up maybe with a single word
in your mind of your experiencewith your dad.
It could be a powerful word.
I know I've shared this at many, many conferences around the
(05:44):
world.
I've actually done events in 14different countries.
My book, the Difference aFather Makes, now has spread to
over 231 countries.
If you're a donor or you're apart of our stewardship team,
thank you so much for whatyou're giving.
You're enabling that book, theDifference a Father Makes, to
(06:05):
get everywhere and we give thataway absolutely free, and God
asks us to do it, and we'retrusting them to keep the wheels
on the bus while the bus isstill going out every day and
spreading this message.
So what's that single word youtake away from your time of
(06:26):
being fathered by your dad?
And so we're talking about,really, the promise of
fatherhood is kind of today andGod sharing the most significant
(06:47):
role he has as a Father to Hiscreation, to us, to the world,
and we are never more like God.
You know, someone once wrote Idon't know who the original
writer was that the first imageof who God can possibly be is
(07:08):
the way your children look atyou, dad.
Well, I didn't know that untilearly, dad, how about you?
But I just had to make themoney, come home, keep them safe
.
All part of the problem, jill,was raising the kids, but I
didn't know that my words andthe way I fathered them could
have such a significant impact.
(07:31):
And to really be the kind of manthat becomes a great father,
you learn how to really do thethings that really can unlock
your children into the life,into the plan that God has for
them, because I think I don'tknow a single dad who doesn't
want their kids to maybe be abetter man or a better father
(07:54):
one day than they are, and soyou can't just hope that that
happens on purpose.
And there's probably nothingmore powerful in the whole world
, in any community, than fatherswho are making a difference.
Guys, just like you, father andyour kid, you might not think
(08:14):
you make much of a difference,but I got to tell you.
I'm on social media and youknow we're all over the place,
just all over the world.
Oh, there, I am in front ofMount Sinai.
They're one of my paintings inmy studio.
But we're, you know, when weget in front of kids, they're
(08:36):
watching all the time.
They're watching all the time,they're constantly looking at us
, they're following us, they'reimitating us, and so that kind
of man that we are, and the morewe connect to who God, the
Father's, called us to be, thebigger impact we're going to
(08:57):
make.
And so when you think of thatword was it positive or negative
with your dad and I got reallygood news for you.
One of the greatest truths aboutthe gospel of Jesus is that if,
say, your dad didn't reallyknow how to be a good father to
(09:18):
you, well, you don't need to bestuck the rest of your life
struggling being a dad.
He has actually a plan tore-father you in a way where you
can bless your dad, because yourealize that, because I know
that most dads, even dads whostarted really bad, want to be
(09:40):
the best dads they can be.
They just never got muchtraining equipment from their
own fathers.
My stepdad, who was the dad ofmy story, my real dad, was
killed in action.
He did the best of what he had.
He went to work every day inthe Navy submarine service,
(10:01):
submarine commander.
He struggled when he came home,not quite knowing what to do.
I remember one of those earlyfathering moments where he
discovered that you know he waswatching me in baseball step out
of the batter's box, which iscausing me to strike out,
(10:22):
because I was afraid in the verybeginning playing baseball I
would get hit by the ball.
So I was scared of that littleround thing that was coming.
It wasn't going 100 miles anhour like Nolan Ryan, but to a
little kid I mean, that's aprojectile.
And so he got really frustratedone day about you know with me.
(10:44):
It's like what's wrong with you, and he probably didn't handle
it really well.
But he went out and he took oneof my football helmets, put it
on my head, got 10 feet awayfrom me at a playground, got on
the pitcher's mound and startedthrowing balls right at my
helmet.
And started throwing ballsright at my helmet and he goes.
(11:07):
Did that hurt?
And it made me cry at first andthen it made me mad and so,
really, once it ricocheted offmy helmet it was like that
didn't hurt, you know.
So he threw it again.
I remember one of the trainingtimes I hit one right back at
him.
I mean, I hit it.
I got so mad at him I forgotabout how fast the ball was
(11:29):
coming.
I hit it right back at him andit hit him kind of in the family
jewels, you know, I'm just likean eight-year-old kid, you know
, and he's like going down andhe's now mad at me.
Then I know it's a miracle thatI hit one.
(11:51):
I was just so afraid.
The fear was hitting me but Ihad that helmet on it made me
angry.
I hit him and he goes.
You did that on purpose and me,being a smart ass kid, I went.
That would have had to be in areal good shot.
That, and me being a smart-asskid I went.
That would have had to be in areal good shot.
That was such a small area.
He did not appreciate that.
That did not go well in the car, in the way.
(12:15):
But you know what he gave me,what he had, and you know I got
hit by the ball a number oftimes and it never bothered me
because you know I took theshots, and the hard shots from
my dad.
Now you might say, well, thatwas kind of abusive, well, it
was on the edge of that.
I didn't get hurt or not, buthe was trying to help me face my
(12:39):
fear.
Dad, there is like a powerfulanchor for the forming of your
identity as a boy or as adaughter, and when you don't
have that in your story, youstruggle Because you look,
(13:01):
you're always looking for him.
It's amazing.
My wife never missed a singleevent.
But, boy, things changed when Iwalked on the baseball field
and sat in the stands.
Things changed when I showed upat my son's golf match and he
saw me.
There's that look from thefield, there's a look towards
(13:25):
the stands, because God's putsomething in you that nobody
else will ever carry A greatfriend of mine, a football coach
.
He had one game to make it intothe playoffs for the first time
and he was all excited.
He's back in Boise and has agreat church out there and he
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had this kid on the team thatalways wanted to play but he
never let him get in.
He was always just, you know,he was afraid he was going to
get hurt.
He was just so skinny and so heit was the last drive of the
game.
They had the ball, they were.
They were down by three points,which are arch nemesis are
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playing against another team andthe clock is running down, the
field is sloppy because of allthe rain running down the field
is sloppy because of all therain, and so this kid, just all
game long, is going over andjust going.
Can I play?
Can I play?
Let me just go in for one play.
And so the coach last game ofthe season kid didn't play a
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single play out in the field thewhole year.
He goes okay, go in, go, pullsomebody out.
And so he's getting ready tocall a play to send in with one
of his running backs and helooks out of the corner of his
eyes and he sees his quarterbackrunning off the field, the
(15:10):
field, and this kid who's likeyou know, he's five foot 11, a
hundred and nothing pounds withhis football gear, you know,
kind of hung on him like wetdrapes, right, he didn't fill
that out and he went.
And by the time the coach istrying to run down to call
timeout, the fans are screaming.
It's the last play of the game.
And this kid gets under centerand calls a play and the
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quarterback the center snaps theball, it goes through the hands
of this kid who had not playedall year and it hydroplanes
between his legs where hedoesn't even get the ball and it
goes right back to the fullbackwho picks it out of the mud,
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runs to the right scores andwins the game.
And the plays went crazy.
They're in the playoffs for thefirst time.
This kid, who never plays, he'sjumping all over the field,
right Like Kermit the Frog,right From the Muppets, and he's
just screaming how did I do?
How did I do?
(16:16):
And the head coach is goingwhat do you mean?
How did you do?
You weren't supposed to go inand play quarterback.
How did I do?
He kept saying how did I do?
You weren't supposed to go inand play quarterback.
How did I do?
He kept saying how did I do?
And the coaches go, what do youmean, how do you do?
And he realized that the boy onthe field was looking over his
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head into the stands and hisfather, who had never come to a
football game, was in the standsscreaming you did great, son,
you did great.
And imagine having that kind ofexperience with your dad.
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Maybe you had some of those,but imagine altogether that you
had that kind of relationshipwith God, the Father.
Imagine Him being in your story, because when you're not
(17:28):
fathered, you have the potentialof just a devastating end for
so many.
I mean, if you want to get thesymptom of the culture that we
live in, the craziness of ourculture.
Even some of the yahoos are inthe craziness of our culture.
Even some of the yahoos aretrying to run into the political
(17:49):
spectrum.
Unfathered girls, unfatheredboys, those who had dads, have a
far different level ofcharacter and fall through than
those who didn't.
It's a reality and it's a sadstory.
Last week I shared with you justabout the famous boy band Liam
(18:13):
Payne.
This is the last image he putup on his Instagram and this is
what they found in his hotelroom.
And if you know his story atall.
(18:34):
He had grown up in a home.
The divorce of his parentscaused, in his own words, a lot
of trauma, in his own words, alot of trauma, and he had to
deal with his father going inand out of addiction and he made
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a pledge two years before thisthat, when asked about his dad,
because it was very hurtful tohim, because he loved his father
you could have been a reallybad dad, but your children love
you and they need you in theirstory to help them navigate and
discover who God's calling themto be and when you're not there
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or you get separated and you'renot connecting with them.
I mean, this kid had it all and,you know, went through a you
know, one of those America GotTalent shows and became this
rock star and made all thismoney.
And now his father just isliving with the fact that he got
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dislocated from his son and hisson evidently from these drugs
right here on this table that hewas partying with.
One of the drugs was pinkcocaine.
I don't even know what that is.
He lost his balance on abalcony and fell to his death.
(20:13):
Just imagine, maybe imagine,what his life could have been
differently if Liam had had adad?
I mean, here's his statement in2019 about his dad's addiction
(20:34):
that it had a significant impacton his childhood.
But today, jeff, my dad hasmade his efforts to recover and
rebuild his life.
Liam now is focusing on hismusic and personal well-being
and it doesn't matter how muchwe hate those broken places in
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our own father.
If we don't get those healed inus in a real way, get
re-fathered in our own story, wecan pass that right along.
And you know what's interesting?
I ask this in my men'sconferences around the world the
ones you know how many of youmade promises as a dad to not do
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some of the same hurtful thingsthat your father did to you, to
your children?
And boy hands go up everywhere.
I said how many of you havebroken the same promises?
Notice, every same hand goes up.
It's because we start out ourmodel of manhood and who we are
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and being a father based on howwe were fathered.
And if those things that wecarry from our childhood don't
get dealt with and we ultimatelygive those to God to deal with
and in a real way we're going tosee in a moment re-father us,
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we can carry those into ourchildren's lives and the same
beast and the same giant that wedidn't defeat that was in us
becomes the same giant ourchildren have to face us becomes
the same giant our childrenhave to face and because we
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don't defeat it, it becomes thisundefeatable foe.
And even though you might hatewhat your dad had done or didn't
do in your own story, you can'twill yourself into a place of
being different, because 50% ofyou is your dad, 50% your mom,
and you know God's made fathersand mothers to be these two
(22:55):
amazing opportunities to be andto be present and loving with
our children in profound ways.
So how's God going to do that?
How's he going to change someof that in us?
Well, here's a few thoughts Iwant to share with you.
I'll let you know at the end.
There's going to be an offer.
We also have an online coachingcommunity where there's a
(23:20):
longer version of what I'm doinghere that's available for those
who join our Fatherhood Academy.
We have an academy online forfathers and brand new thing
We've had it for a while under adifferent name and so that
academy is a place for you to goand grow and learn how to be
the best father you can be.
(23:41):
If you're interested, hangaround to the end.
I've got a special offer foryou.
And so you know, jesus made thisstatement and no, I've got a
statement that Jesus made, butin the book of Lamentations as
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he's.
You know, writing this book andlooking at the culture after
the Babylonian empire was just areally perverted.
And you know everything thatwe're experiencing now in our
(24:31):
culture, in the United States ofAmerica and around the world, I
mean all the craziness, thegender confusion, all that kind
of stuff was happening aroundthe people of Israel and God's
promise was that he was theirhealer and if they didn't follow
after these other gods of theland, these other idols of the
land, god would heal them andkeep those things from grabbing
(24:53):
them.
But the result of it, of beingin the midst of this time, is,
you know he's writing the bookof Lamentations.
He writes this verse and itjust hit me right between the
eyes and it says Orphans, we arenot a father in sight and our
mothers are no better thanwidows.
(25:16):
And you know, beloved, right nowin the United States of America
there are too many kids singingthis song.
You know there's a pastor inChicago, or maybe Detroit,
rooftop Revelations.
If you've never seen this guyor watched him, I encourage you
to support him, pray for him.
(25:37):
He got up on the roof and he'srebuilding these shelters for
these unfathered boys and girlsand giving them he's really
refathering him Just a marvelous.
Marvelous expression of what aman can do for a kid without a
dad.
But the promise you know, andthat's kind of orphans.
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We are not a father in sightand yet, boy, isn't that true?
And it doesn't need to be thatway.
And part of that is that thedevil knows that if he can get
you, or the other fathers youknow, or the men you know that
are dads, are going to be dadsand being overwhelmed and away
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from being good fathers to theirchildren, becoming a great
father to their family history,he can get your kids and he can
get your grandkids.
That's what he wants.
But the devil wants to be theone to inform your sons, your
daughters, your grandkids whothey are.
And isn't it interesting?
And every time there'srebellion on the earth, it's
(26:45):
like the deviation away fromGod's plan of true identity all
becomes about.
You know, people begin to namethemselves around their sexual
appetites, and who is the bestguy to marshal that in a family.
It's a dad, a dad who walkswith God, a dad who, you know,
(27:11):
builds a home that's safe andpays attention to the struggles
of the kids.
I mean, I'm saying these thingsbecause you, my friend, are an
amazing gift.
I'm saying these things becauseyou, my friend, are an amazing
gift.
There's an incredible speechthat happened at one of the—you
(27:31):
can find it Tucker Carlson, andthe title of it.
I called it.
It said Dad's Home and he'sPissed.
He talked about family andfatherhood and how, as a dad,
that fathers need to rise up.
We can't just, you know,politically call them out and
demonize them and bust them up,because there's so much shame
(27:54):
that comes towards us when weknow we're not quite the father
we need to be.
But God has a plan to changethat in you, to change that in
me and man, that's good news.
And now the Bible says this.
But there's this great promisefrom Jesus in John 14.
(28:15):
He says I won't leave you asorphans.
He's talking at the end of Hisministry with His people.
He's talking about the end ofhis ministry with his people.
He's talking about the Fatherand the love of his Father.
And he goes I won't leave youas orphans.
The word orphan there isprobably best translated I won't
leave you fatherless.
Because he's talking to men andwomen and to disciples who had
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dads on earth.
They weren't orphans like.
They got no dad.
They have no mom Not in goodEnglish there, right but they
didn't have that father and he'dbeen modeling who the father
was over and over.
And look what he says.
Yet in a little while and theworld will see me no more, but
(29:01):
you're going to see me, see,when we have Christ and born
again.
He's with us, he's in us and weget to see Him working in our
lives and through our lives, weget to experience and do things
that we could not possibly dowithout Him.
Because I live.
He says "'Because I live' hesays, "'you also live'".
(29:24):
I mean, that's his promise toyou and to me.
I grab that word today.
That's mine, you know.
I find something in the Biblethat's powerful.
I grab it, I go.
That's mine.
You know, because you live,jesus, and you're in me, I'm
going to live.
And then he goes "'And that daywhen you understand—because
Christ is going to leave Hisdisciples and leave them on
(29:47):
earth not alone—He sends thepromise of the Holy Spirit.
But he's talking about.
Not only that when he goes andhe's crucified and he's raised
from the dead, something gets tochange for you and me.
And that day you will know.
You're going to know somethingwhen you see me go up, even when
(30:10):
he went up, finally to HisFather.
And that day you're going toknow that I'm in my Father, I am
in my Father, me and my Fatherare one.
And not only that I got to tellyou what a promise here and you
are in me and I in you.
(30:31):
It's the way that you know.
When you say it that way, it'slike you're in me.
We all know that.
We know the desire of Jesus isto live in you, to build His
home on earth in you.
You're even called the templeof the Holy Spirit, and he does
(30:51):
that because he wants you toexperience what it's like to be
a son, to be loved, to havesomebody with you as a man,
where you're not trying to dolife alone.
I meet so many guys around theworld that don't have other guys
to talk to.
I was with a young squire thispast week and he has some people
(31:14):
, but he doesn't have anybody totalk to when he's broken.
He doesn't have a guy there tolift his arms up when he's
knocked down.
Hey, good to see you, jill,welcome, chris, I love you Great
.
They're my cousins.
I got to spend time with theiramazing son, who's an actor who
(31:35):
came out, been eating somecarnivore steaks with him.
So good to have you here and,bennett, good to see you here as
well.
But something, by the way, youraised an extraordinary son.
Just love who he is hanging outwith him.
I I gotta tell you I just I'msorry I'm I'm digressing a
(31:57):
little bit.
I saw some of my friends onlinehanging out with your son.
I know that when I get to hangaround somebody's son, I get to
really understand who the momand dad are.
And I got to tell you I've beenaround a lot of young people I
mean all kinds of young peopleand they're like into themselves
(32:17):
, whatever, they're distractedall the time.
But I've never had somebodylike your son come here, hang
out with me, eat steaks with me,fed him some great steaks,
great conversation, asking thesegreat questions about how to
walk with God and do acting andall that kind of stuff here in
LA, and he must have thanked me50 times.
(32:42):
I mean I just can't tell youhow much this means to me.
Thank you so much.
He's just so polite.
He's like a Southern gentleman.
So I think, chris, when that'smy cousin, and Jill, his amazing
, beautiful bride, by the way,if you ever get around them,
(33:03):
they are you.
Just look them up on Instagram.
They have these wellness things.
They do with people and, by you, want your health to turn
around.
These are people that you wantto go to.
They're powerful, they're justpowerful people.
So enough of that, but back tokind of what I was sharing about
as I saw, my friends.
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Isn't it great when yourfriends are around, when your
family is around.
They're my kin.
I remember saying to Colin youhave access here to me, in my
house, in my home, in my family,because you are kin.
Guys, god's done so many thingsin me to bring me to that point
(33:44):
, to where you, your role as afather, is not just for your kid
but it's also for those thatyour kids hang around.
I remember in high school youtalk about the miraculous change
in yours truly when I first gotmarried.
(34:09):
I mean everything was aboutfootball, my diet, my stuff, me
working out, and my kids were adistant third.
Jill was sort of number two,but the ministry and the travel
many times pushed her to numberthree or four.
The ministry and the travelmany times pushed her to number
three or four and God had to dosomething in me because I
(34:40):
discovered quickly that myidentity had shifted from pro
football to now trying to provemyself with God and ministry and
any kind of identity that webuild.
It may be a great thing you do.
If you lose your family.
You won't ever feel like youbreak through the way you need
to, though God can redeem allthose stories you don't want to
(35:04):
lose.
Your kids and Callie and I weretalking together is that God
began to give me not only aheart for my daughters and my
sons.
I took them to dances and I tookmy daughter Mary to a prom
dance because she couldn't finda man in the high school, and I
trained her.
Only to go out with men.
So they actually had theinterview with me and none of
them passed the test.
Only to go out with men.
(35:26):
So they actually had theinterview with me and none of
them passed the test.
I chased a lot of thesepretenders away.
I scared the crap out of them.
I did.
I looked at them and I didn'tclean my shotgun in front of
them but I let them know wheremy gun came from.
And I had this one guy who wasso nervous when he came in to
date my daughter that hemisspoke.
(35:47):
And he said can I have yourdaughter?
I said what you know?
Can I have her?
I said, oh no, you can't havemy daughter.
No, no, no, I mean, I'm sorry,I'm just so nervous, I want to
take her on a date.
And I just looked at him and Isaid young man, young squire,
(36:11):
I'm sure your intentions aregood, but you're just not man
enough to take my daughter on adate.
Yet when you give your life toChrist and here and then I gave
him my book, the Difference OurFather Makes.
And when you give your life toChrist and here—and then I gave
him my book, the Difference OurFather Makes I said you read my
book, come back in about a yearand take another shot, because
my daughter Mary will just eatyou up.
She's too much of a woman.
(36:31):
You will get totallydiscouraged.
And although she's beautifuland you want to date her, she's
ready, but you're not.
And he looks at me and hisdumbfounded look changes to gosh
.
I wish you would have been mydad.
You know my sister.
(36:54):
She's 17 years old and she'spregnant, trying to decide if
she's going to have an abortion,and my father just makes a lot
of money.
He's just not around and I'mhere to tell you there's dad
(37:25):
rises up or mom, and reallybecomes that father or that mom,
because God also wants to makemoms great again To your
children.
They need you as parents morethan anything else right now to
navigate the distraction of thislittle device that interrupts
(37:49):
families, that costs more thanour electricity per phone.
Isn't it crazy the way we live?
Instant communication, and soit's Christ in you.
And Jesus promised he won'tleave his office.
Oh yeah, let me finish thatstory.
They started so I take Mary tothe dance and there's a whole
(38:15):
bunch of guys there watching me,this old fart who had popped
four Advil and went out on thedance floor and man, I was doing
my best and I told him.
I said I'm not responsible andher girlfriends all left their
dates like a big, gigantichuddle with about 20 girls.
(38:36):
A lot of them were cheerleadingfriends and my daughter, mary,
and and we I was spinning themand dancing with them and you
know, and I said I'm going tobust the move and I'm not
responsible for what it might do.
And they played along with meand I I tried to do something.
You know, I'm still a white boy, but I got.
(38:58):
You know, I got some brother inme too, and they all acted like
whoo, you know, and we had sucha fun time.
And the next morning we got upand Mary said Dad, you'll just
never know how much that meantto me for you to be there.
And I have all these friendswho just they want a dad like
(39:22):
you.
And I said, well, invite themover, I'll cook, like what we
used to do is cook thesegigantic spaghetti dinners.
I mean, just we would fill upthese gigantic pasta bowls.
I'm not even Italian, but Ilike to eat gigantic pasta bowls
.
I'm not even Italian, but Ilike to eat.
And so I, you know I would makewhat we'd call this triple
(39:44):
sauce.
You know it was a Parmesansauce, it was.
You know all these differentsauces.
We'd make fettuccine, alfredosauce and arbiata sauce and
these gigantic dishes, and sitaround and just do family and
ultimately, those nights, mydaughters would lead a lot of
(40:06):
the conversations.
And it was.
It was incredible.
My wife and I and her brothersand sisters, we just did family
in front of these girls andprayed for many of them, saw
many of them come to Christ.
Nothing fancy, nothingsophisticated, but just being
(40:33):
there was incredibly powerful.
There was incredibly powerfuland I'm sharing this with you
tonight because—and there's apart two to all of this and a
matter of fact I'd love toinvite you even to our live
coaching.
There's an extended version ofthis.
(40:55):
I'm going to finish the rest ofthis next week just for the
sake of time.
But you know part of thatincredible promise, of that
verse, that you're going to livewhen you live in Christ and the
(41:15):
Father, and you're going toknow that Jesus is in His Father
and you are in Him and he is inyou.
And so, no matter what yourfamily's facing, no matter what
you're going through in yourlife, god has promised, as a
(41:37):
matter of fact and I'll justshare one more verse with you,
just that I have, because you'regoing to go to the head of the
class because you guys can takeit, but I want to be because I
have another coaching group thatI do here shortly but and he
and I just want to share thispromise and kind of tie this
(42:01):
together, and we're going topray tonight that fatherhood is
one of the greatest gifts to usas men and you can put in your
motherhood if you're a mom, it'sone of the greatest gifts that
we get.
And God sent His Son, jesus, tomake us sons and daughters and
(42:22):
so that the way he fathers us—nomatter if you had a good dad or
not and 2 Corinthians 6.18 saysand I'll be a father to you and
you will be my sons anddaughters, says the Lord, god
Almighty, and the way he fathersyou, as you're being fathered
by him every day, that willbegin to equip you to be more
(42:52):
like his son and equip you atthe same time to father or
mother our sons and daughters,the same way that God fathers us
.
See, that's what the fatherdifference is.
That's what our ministry isabout.
When God, the Father, fathersyou, you're going to be able to
(43:13):
be really the mom and dad thatyour children need you to be,
the mom and dad that yourchildren need you to be, and we
have a number of things that wewant to help you with that.
I'll just share some of theseand I want to pray If you've not
gotten my book the Difference aFather Makes.
I'm just so honored to let youknow that we're pretty much in
(43:39):
every country in the entireworld.
We're even in more countriesaccording to our download
statistics, some that aren'teven really considered
all-the-way countries.
And if you're just new to thischannel, to this program, this
is a gift for you that if youget past the first chapter
(44:02):
without crying, you'll be thefirst, because it's a story of
about how God took a boy me wholost his dad and struggled
because he tried to name himselfby all these things external in
his life football, I mean, allthose things and encountered the
(44:25):
father in a way that reshapedme to be a father who makes a
difference with my kids, and Iam just so, so grateful.
I can't even tell you howgrateful I am.
And also, if you're a gal, wehave a series right now that
(44:45):
we're running on Thursdays at 12o'clock every week live show
and we're continuing on thiswhole journey of learning to
raise sons journey of learningto raise sons how to become a
mom, maybe your single mom toraise sons that change the world
(45:08):
.
And maybe you don't have thehusband.
He's lost, maybe prematurelygone, and he's no longer on
earth, or he's, you know, justleft, he's, you know, just left.
That is something, is aresource that's growing.
Would love to have you thereand ultimately, if you're
interested, if you go to mywebsite, I have a book that
(45:33):
we're actually working throughright now is the Father.
You've Always Want, alwayswanted and would love for you to
have that, but you got to buythis from our website or you can
get the free download online.
They've sold out on Amazon and,matter of fact, if you're
interested in being a supporter,and maybe you can help us in
(45:53):
the reprinting of this book,because we've, we're, we're down
to the the last bones of this,but we got to reprint it so that
we can keep getting it out tothe all the countries that are
reading this and, and reallyit's all about how does god heal
our father wound and to turn usfrom wounds into beloved sons
and daughters.
It's a great book for gals.
(46:15):
It's a great book for gals.
It's a great book for study.
We got a number of things, andso all that to say.
I want to pray for you, be hereevery week and to be considered
(46:40):
by you, to listen to you, hearme out and really catch
something that God gave me.
I didn't become a good fatherbecause I willed it, boy.
I failed miserably for yearsand even trying to be a good
husband, I needed to become adifferent kind of a man, and
(47:02):
that's God's promise for you andfor me, and I learned what it
meant to be a son that he lovedand maybe you're a daughter
watching.
Imagine having a father who issuch an amazing part of your
story that no matter if yourdad's on earth or not and he's
gone, maybe he was a great dadand he's no longer here and you
(47:24):
miss being able to talk to him.
That's what he's made you for,to be fathered by him too, and
the way we receive that in ourlife is understanding that His
whole goal and the fruit and thebenefit of you being saved and
(47:48):
born again and receiving Christas Son into you, you get Christ
in you, the hope of glory, whichthen unlocks the blessing of
the Father for you and over yourlife.
And when you have those twocomponents, where you have,
(48:08):
christes you and makes you theman or woman, the husband, the
father, the stepmom, the stepdad, the single man, the single
(48:31):
woman that he's ultimately,ultimately called you to be, so
that you can make the mostimpact everywhere you go, and I
got to tell you this is the besttime of leading people to
Christ I've ever seen.
(48:51):
It happens to me almost everyday, every time I see somebody
new.
People are hungry, people arescared, people are concerned,
people are overly political,thinking that their answer and
their protection will come fromthe government.
(49:12):
Well, good candidates do offersome protection, but the
ultimate protection that we needfor our families is the
supernatural, spiritualprotection of the fatherhood of
God on us, through us, in us, inhis son, through the power of
(49:33):
the Holy Spirit towards our kids.
Power of the Holy Spirittowards our kids, equipping them
to stand down the demons thatare trying to own their life and
regender them and manipulatethem, and give them voices to
stand up and not be afraid andbe loving and kind and
(49:54):
supernaturally powerful and wiseto know the plan of the enemy
that they can stand against.
It's not what you want for yourkids I do, but it starts with
us as parents first.
It's really hard to discipleyour children when they're not
(50:15):
seeing you live the life thatyou want them to live, and so
God wants to do something in us,and the more we get that for
ourselves, the more secure webecome that God is a good, good
father to our kids too.
He's going to take care of them.
So let's pray, father, I, just Ithank you for my brothers that
are here, the fathers that arehere, the moms that are here,
(50:39):
the gals that are here, thesingle moms that are here, the
grandmas that are here, thegrandpas that have tuned in
tonight.
Father them, lord, Reveal yourfatherhood to them, the gift of
you receiving your sonship ordaughtership from God as your
(50:59):
father, and the inheritance thatGalatians 3 talks about.
It makes us no longer a slaveto anything, any broken thing or
any demonic power in this world, but sets us free to be an heir
to being in you.
And I pray for my brothers andsisters, I pray for their
(51:20):
families, I pray for theirhearts, I pray for wisdom, I
pray for relationship, I prayfor those who say, ed, I want to
go and sign up and be a part ofwhat you're doing here at the
Father Difference, lord, I praythat they'd follow through and
we could work together and seewhat God wants to do.
(51:41):
Thank you, father, for tonight.
Thank you for all that you'regoing to do, thank you for all
the men that we're going to meetlater and coach them and get
deep in becoming the besthusband and father they can be,
and all God's men and women saidAmen, amen, welcome.
(52:04):
I love your comments.
You can email me.
I have a link here somewherefor an email address.
My faithful assistant is notaround, but if you go to my
website, which isthefatherdifferencecom, that's
(52:25):
another deal there.
Let me see, let me find there'sa banner here.
So, oh, here we go.
Anyway, you can go to mywebsite right here.
We have a coaching program onour website.
If you go to that link theFather Difference Coaching
(52:47):
Program and you want some extracoaching, I'd love to help you.
We give you a free 15-minuteappointment and we deal with
something.
We see if it's a good fit, ifit's a good fit for you and
you'd like me to work with youand help you, we have a whole
program that will really benefityou.
It's all donation-based.
Your donations enable us to dowhat we need to do and, as you
(53:08):
you know, come to the end of theyear and everything or maybe
you're looking for a place tosow your wealth in that's really
going to change.
I want you to consider to be apartner and donate to our
ministry.
You click that link right there.
It'll take you to our website.
You can donate monthly.
I'd love to have you as apartner every month, or maybe
(53:31):
you're in a place to really helpus fund the launch of the
Fatherhood Academy.
That's a brand new thing thatwe are building to help men, and
there's a whole section forwomen to come in, because part
of the Fatherhood Academy isalso for gals to be fathered by
God the gift of fatherhood.
(53:53):
He promises to be a father inour life so that we can be the
husbands and fathers, the momsand the wives, the single men,
the single women that he'scalled us to be.
So, if you're interested, Ijust want to encourage you to
sign up and we'll get rid ofthat.
(54:15):
And thank you for, uh, just uh,tuning in tonight and I have a
something on my screen that Ican't figure out how to get rid
of.
Oh, it's got to be one of these.
Come on, help me find thebanner that.
No, that's not it.
Well, anyway, uh, thanks somuch for being here with us, and
(54:40):
if you need to email me, youcan get a hold of me at Ed
Tanney.
Blessing of the Father, I am sograteful to be with you.
Lord bless you.
Have a wonderful night, keep itcoming.
Thank you, jordy.
Mr Valdez, ellen, jill, Vinette, dave Valero, jacques, bless
(55:00):
you, jacques, one of my Frenchbrother names.
I can tell I'm actually aFrenchman myself, and so I'm
just there we go.
I just figured it out.
Even a football player can notonly snap the ball, but he can
figure out this stuff.
So, thank you, it's great to bewith you tonight.
If you have any questions, youcan email me, connect with me.
(55:23):
The Lord bless you.
My friends, we will talk to yousoon.
Remember, it's never too latefor you to be the husband and
father, the wife, the mom thatGod's called you to be.
God bless you.
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