April 2, 2024 • 32 mins
Father wounds significantly impact our identity and relationships, but Jesus offers healing by revealing God's fatherly love and adopting us as His children. Most of our future success depends on resolving past father issues that have shaped our self-perception and behavior patterns.
• Children look to fathers to answer fundamental identity questions - boys need to know they have what it takes, girls need to know they're beautiful and worthy of love
• Over 25% of American children live without fathers, leading to higher rates of poverty, suicide, incarceration, and behavioral disorders
• Jesus promised "I will not leave you as orphans" (John 14:18) - offering to heal our fatherlessness
• God heals father wounds through forgiveness, adoption as His children, and blessing us with "every spiritual blessing" (Ephesians 1:3)
• We can only give away what we've received - healing our father wounds enables us to break generational cycles
• Receiving God's fatherhood doesn't diminish our earthly fathers but completes what may have been missing
Visit https://www.thefatherdifference.com/links for a free copy of "The Difference a Father Makes."
Ready to be the parent or grandparent you’ve always dreamed of becoming? Subscribe and Tune into my podcast each week, and check out my resources, heartfelt encouragement, and practical tools to help you make a lasting impact on the ones you love most. Click this link below:
https://www.thefatherdifference.com/links
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Well, welcome.
Hey, it's great to be heretonight.
Let me get rid of the bannerhere.
Oh boy, If you're checking inhere, just Okay.
Comments here in here, justokay.
(00:55):
Comments here, okay.
Banner show, don't all right,well, okay, okay, so we are
going to turn off.
There we go.
Hey, here we are.
A minute 56 seconds, welcome.
I'm grateful for those that arecoming in On Facebook I see you
there On X and a welcome hereto our tonight, to what we're
(01:22):
doing, and there are just a fewthings that were working out
here.
Hang with me.
And we got to get rid of anybanners that we don't need here.
High current banner.
Okay, so welcome tonight, it'sgood to have you here.
(01:43):
The Father Difference.
I'm your host, edTanney-McGlasson, and tonight
we're going to talk about howJesus heals our father wounds
and the difference that willmake in our story, in our life,
and for you that are in themidst of being fathers, and for
(02:07):
you gals that maybe you havelived your life in a way to and
you still feel a little stuck asa mom or you're a dad and you
feel kind of stuck like there'sa missing piece.
And so tonight we're going totalk about just for a few
(02:29):
minutes about how Jesus healsthose father wounds.
And so, to kind of get started,I wanted to just share a little
bit with you something that Iwrote this afternoon that made
me think about you and kind ofwhat we're talking about here
(02:50):
tonight, and I'm just going toread this to you.
You can read along with me, ifyou can see on your screen.
I believe that for most men, thekey to their future lies in
fixing their past.
Want to give me kind of a shoutout.
If that's true for you guys,how about you gals that are
watching?
(03:11):
Most girls, the key to theirfuture lies in how emotionally
available their dads were tothem.
Growing up, I had no idea howmuch that would mean to my
daughters by being emotionallyavailable, dating them, hugging
them, loving them, being a partof their story.
(03:32):
I didn't know how much thatwould happen.
So you know, moreover, I'mconvinced that their father is
the strongest person in both oftheir lives.
It's the one that our childrenlook to.
They look to you.
They look to how you treat them, how you love them, how you
(03:55):
spend time with them, and whenwe're distracted or busy making
a living like how many of youguys are making a living all the
time and you don't feel likeyou can be there.
Or, mom, you're justoverwhelmed with all the stuff
that's going on.
You know that's just part of.
You know the process that youknow we got to do in our normal
(04:20):
life.
But our children they're kindof like—and imagine they're sort
of like wet cement and you knowthe way we father them and the
way we mother them reallyimprints on them how they see
themselves, who they seethemselves to be, see themselves
(04:43):
who they see themselves to be.
And when those relationshipsare hurt or they go sideways,
then it affects our relationship.
Here's some more of what Iwrote this afternoon for you.
You know some of you mightdisagree that your dad is your
(05:06):
strongest person in your life,right, that he's not a big deal
and that you might not even haveknown him.
Then why is the empty chair atyour dinner table growing up?
Think about that the dominantforce of your childhood and the
formation of your identity.
Force of your childhood and theformation of your identity.
(05:29):
I meet people every day thatthey're still stuck because
their dad wasn't there.
And why is that so important?
Well, god's made us to befathered, and when we don't have
a dad in our life, it can skewthat, our whole view of who we
are, the identity that we carry,the person that we become.
(05:50):
I know for me, you know my, youknow.
Takeaway from my childhood was alittle line that my mother used
to say to me growing up andwhen she would describe my dad,
who was killed in action.
So I never got to see him.
(06:10):
My stepdad stepped in when Iwas one years old and praised
the Lord for him.
You know your dear father, Ican.
How many of you can still hearthe tone of your mom's voice in
the things they said?
Yeah, you can.
(06:35):
Just, you know, of course, ofcourse we can.
And so part of you know shewould say your dear father, all
he ever wanted, all he everwanted in his life, was to play
professional football.
And if you, his only son, couldsomehow make it in the National
(06:59):
Football League, he'd look downfrom heaven and be so proud.
Oh man, that screws up a kid,doesn't it?
And I remember just those earlydays of just the formation of
who I was, that I made thatdecision that if I'm going to be
somebody, then I'm going tohave to play football, and
(07:23):
everything was riding on memaking it.
And, man, what happens when youget hurt or you get sideways?
Maybe you had been in your ownlife.
Well, I want to read a littlebit more about you know, and the
truth of the matter is that theabsence of a father can be a
powerful force in shaping yourpersonality.
(07:43):
Well, of course they can.
Our fathers play a significantrole in molding us into who we
become.
Have you noticed that we havethis incredible identity crisis
Throughout our culture?
We don't know who we areanymore.
(08:03):
We've made everything aboutdiscovering identity.
Performance is about identity.
Where we live is about identity.
Everything's kind of—it's like.
Children have now left theorphanage of not being fathered
in a lot of ways, and they'relooking constantly to find out
who they are.
The only problem with that isthat it's so easy, then, for you
(08:28):
to make your life completelyabout yourself, and if you don't
discover who you are by whatyou do or what you have or what
you know, then who are you, thenwho are you?
And so you know?
There's this, you know old adagethat's true of a father you
(08:54):
know plays a significant role inmolding us into who we become.
It's often said that it's kindof like like father, like son,
or how about this line the appledoesn't fall far from the tree.
In other words, you're justlike your dad, which, in some
ways, you want that to be agreat thing.
You know, I think the mostpowerful thing that anyone's
(09:18):
ever said to me is when theycome up and tell me that I met
your son or I met your daughter,and they're extraordinary.
Imagine hearing that as a momor as a dad.
That's what we want to hear.
That's why we suffer.
That's why we go through allthat we go through as parents,
(09:49):
go through all that we gothrough as parents, and even if
we do a bad job, we still wantthem to be better than us.
So I want to say amen.
So we're going to talk tonightabout a little bit more about
this and this whole you knowaspect of you know how did Jesus
heal this father?
Well, you know part of it.
I'm going to kind of share alittle story to help kind of
(10:13):
frame this for you.
I remember years ago I wouldwake up early and take my son
Edward to the golf range.
He wanted to play golf, so Iwent to help him.
And early mornings there at thegolf range.
And I remember a young man whowas there in a golf team and I
(10:38):
went to go watch one of theirmatches and they were warning up
and he walks over to me and hesays, could you be my dad?
And I said, well, why would youask me that?
He said, you know my father's.
(11:00):
You know all he does is workand he's never seen me hit a
golf shot.
And I watch you out here.
You're here at all thesematches.
No-transcript.
(11:25):
Well, I've got to tell you,beloved, that is the cry of this
next generation.
And here's the other part.
It's the cry of many of us whoweren't fathered.
So how does God heal thatfatherless issue in it?
It's not that our dads weren'tthere, it's not that our dads
aren't good dads at times, butthere's a lot of us who suffered
(11:49):
or, you know, got sideways.
I mean, let me just show you.
I don't know if you guys knowthis, but let me just throw some
statistics up.
They're pretty alarming.
Well, did you know?
There's 19.7 million childrenmore than one in four live
(12:13):
without a father in a home.
In our country.
47.6% of children are fromfatherless homes, live in
poverty.
63% of youth suicide arefatherless homes.
That's five times the average.
How about this one?
85% of youth in prisons arefrom fatherless homes, 70% of
(12:39):
teen pregnancies happen infatherless homes, 90% of all
homeless and runaways are fromfatherless homes 32 times the
average.
And 85% of all children whoshow behavior disorders are from
(13:00):
fatherless homes.
That's crazy, isn't it?
80% of rapists with angerproblems come from fatherless
homes.
So I mean, there's an epidemicwith this going on in the world.
And it's not that dads don'twant to be there, but one of the
(13:27):
true things about being afather or, by the way, being a
mom is that we're able to giveaway what we have received.
It's like God's made us withtwo amazing things.
He's made us to beword-activated human beings.
He actually made Adam and thenEve.
(13:48):
By speaking it out of His mouth, jesus was there in the
creation process and said thateverything that had been created
was created by Him, for Him andthrough Him.
He actually upholds the wholecreation by the Word of His
power.
So Adam became a full man whenthe Trinity got together and
(14:08):
said let us make man in ourimage and likeness.
Boom.
That's why words over you stillhave incredible power.
That's why somebody can buildyou up or tell you down.
A look from your dad can ruinyour week.
Sometimes moms give you thoselooks.
You know the ones, but there'ssomething about a dad's look
(14:31):
because it carries with it theweight of identity and if that's
not clear for you, it kind oftweaks you in your life, you
know.
And so how does God heal ourfatherless ones?
Well, here's an incrediblepromise.
He says that I will not leaveyou as orphans.
(14:55):
I'll come to you.
John 14, verse 18.
Jesus is talking to hisdisciples.
The room is filled with peopleand Jesus says I won't leave you
as orphans.
Well, they all have moms anddads.
So what's he talking about?
Well, the word there for orphanis actually a word that means
(15:19):
fatherless.
I won't leave you fatherlessfrom God, my Father.
Leave you fatherless from God,my Father.
You know, jesus came living thislife where he said I can only
do what I see the Father doing.
I can only speak what I hearHim speaking.
(15:39):
He came to demonstrate what alife looked like that had a
loving, present Father in Hislife.
That backed Him up and led Himthroughout the journey in the
incredible mission and to thecross and to the resurrection
that we just experienced, andyou know what an incredible
thing that is.
And so he promised that wewouldn't be fatherless anymore.
(16:04):
So that's one of God's promisesto you.
The second thing that's there isin, you know, in John 17, verse
26,.
Jesus says I have made known toyou, in your name, and will
continue to make it known, thatthe love in which you love me
(16:25):
may be in them and I in them.
I mean Christ came to revealthe love of the Father to you
and to me in a way that willprofoundly affect how you see
yourself.
And you know, part of thehealing, of healing your
(16:49):
father's wounds, is, you know,forgiving your dad.
Of course, because your dad—thething about being a father and
I'm so grateful for this too,because I'm a dad is that you
know, forgiveness is a powerfultool of really understanding
that your dad gave you what hehad, even if he was broken.
(17:16):
Some of it might have beenintentional and wicked, but most
of the time, as fathers,they're giving you what they
have, and so if we hold them onthe hook for their entire life
because they can't be the fatherthat we need, well then all of
us are going to be disappointedwith our dads.
We could have the best fatherin the world with all the
(17:37):
resources.
If money was the thing, thenwhy are so many of these
celebrity kids so screwed up?
Because dads might have beenable to give them money, but
what about the things that theyreally need?
I mean and I coach men andwomen in different countries of
(18:02):
the world it doesn't matter howmuch money they have.
They're just as screwed up ifthey're gold-plated or they're
lead-plated, because it's thatthe father can give them money.
But if he doesn't give themwhat they need and that is Daddy
, what do you really think aboutme?
For a boy?
(18:22):
Do I have what it takes to be aman?
Do you see me as being a man Ifyou make that transition into
adulthood?
Or for a daughter, daddy, am Ibeautiful?
Am I someone to be loved?
You know your affection towardsyour daughters and I learned
this, and this will be a futuresegment but I learned that if I
(18:48):
would date my daughters, like afather takes a daughter on a
date and am appropriatelyaffectionate and loving with
them, and model what it's likefor maybe a future suitor to
come into her life boy, itchanges the game Because it
(19:14):
helps that girl's man choose her.
I mean, how many of you galshave chosen bad boys, thinking
you can turn them into good boys.
And so many times, you know,daughters will pick a gigantic
project.
And you know, in the beginningwith one of my daughters, they
(19:37):
start choosing projects and Irealized that they were thinking
if they could somehow maybe fixthis guy.
I don't think they thought thatyou know volitionally here, but
it's like if they could fixtheir man, they, you know, they
can maybe fix a relationshipwith me.
(19:58):
Well, what a wake-up call thatwas for me.
But Jesus' promise is that I'vemade your name known to them
and will continue that the lovethat you have me might be in
them.
God's promise for you is tolove you like you love the Son
Jesus.
There's no greater love thanthat.
(20:22):
But here's the third part ofthis.
He demonstrated what a fatherlife looks like.
See, when we receive Jesus, wealso receive our adoption as
beloved sons and daughters inChrist.
It's part of what he gave to us.
Included in that adoption we're, all you know.
(20:47):
All of the same blessings thatJesus received from His Father
are available to us.
Look at this verse with me herein Ephesians 1.3.
Blessed be the God and Father ofour Lord, jesus Christ, who has
blessed us in Christ with everyspiritual blessing in the
(21:10):
heavenly places.
So how much does God, theFather, want to bless you?
He wants to pour in everyspiritual blessing that's in the
heavenly places into your life.
How much is that?
That's everything, you know.
(21:30):
He wants to pour everything.
When Moses, you know, came downfrom the mountain with the
law—there's Mount Sinai rightthere—when he came down from
that mountain, he had, you know,the Ten Commandments he had.
God gave him the TenCommandments not just so, you
(21:53):
know, he could prove that we'reall going to blow it because we
can't even keep one of them.
He brought those things toteach us how to live a life that
that wouldn't be like everybodyelse in the world could live, a
life that we could be likeeverybody else in the world
Could live, a life that we couldbe blessed.
But we couldn't even keep theTen Commandments.
(22:16):
And so when God sent His SonJesus, he sent His Son to begin
to heal, to begin to be presentin the life, in our life, in a
profound way, that where you andI could experience what it's
like to be present in our lifein a profound way, that where
you and I could experience whatit's like to be loved by God,
the Father, and not only lovedby Him, we would be able to
(22:43):
understand that he wants tobless us with every blessing.
We need to be the mom we needto be, to be the father we need
to be, to be the man or thewoman we need to be, or, if
you're a young person, to be theyoung person that God's called
you to be.
That's all part of it, and thefourth part of this for tonight
and this kind of shortmini-message about how Jesus
(23:03):
heals our fatherless wounds, isthis last point, which he
promised you something else hepromised that we can receive the
blessing of the Father'sblessing too, and the more we
(23:35):
understand that in our life, themore the difference we can make
, because we understand that wedon't have to produce His
blessing, we just need toreceive it.
He wants to bless you right now.
Matter of fact, his blessing isavailable for you in Christ.
Maybe you struggled as a mom, oryou struggled as a dad and
(23:57):
you're like gosh man, I totallyblown it.
Well, I just want to.
You know, I want to invite youright now to just take a moment
and just answer a couple ofquestions.
You know how much have you beenaffected by the way you were
(24:20):
fathered?
Was it a lot, was it little?
Did your dad have much of acapacity from God to bless your
life or did he struggle?
And here's a question Did hestruggle because he didn't love
(24:40):
you?
I don't think so.
I think that dads strugglebecause they don't know what to
do and they don't get thatemotional peace from their own
dad because their fathers didn'tknow how to be available.
Maybe you're separated fromyour dad and you think well, you
(25:02):
know, it's just kind of wherethe life is, so you just cut him
off.
Well, I don't know that theanswer will be in your dad if
somehow he reunites with you,but I do know.
This is a fact.
When Jesus promised I won'tleave you as orphans, his plan
all along is for you and for Ito connect to His Father in such
(25:26):
a profound way that we nolonger can say we're unfathered.
We can no longer say that we'rean orphan at heart.
He wants to bless you, he wantsto bless me in profound ways
and we're here to help you dothat.
But before we kind of finishour live stream and we're live
(25:50):
streaming every week at thistime 5 o'clock.
If you've got questions for me,post them in the comments.
You have a couple of ways to gothrough this.
Before we pray, I want you tosign up and get a free book that
we have, the Difference aFather Makes.
(26:11):
It's our gift to you and we'dlove to send it to you.
Also, we have another tool justto help you kind of in your
journey, and it's our dailydevotional.
You can go right to our websiteto get both of these,
thefatherdifferentcom, and it'sa daily devotional that'll pop
(26:33):
up every day with something tothink about in your journey,
kind of a devotional connectedwith the love of the Father
through His magnificent Son ofJesus.
And that's not it.
Not only that.
Maybe you find yourself and youneed some coaching and you're
(26:56):
saying, ed, I could use somehelp.
Well, that's a big part of whatwe do.
And if you go to download thatfree book, there's a link.
Once you sign up for that freebook.
There's a link.
Once you sign up for that freebook, difference of father makes
which is, by the way, it's in125 countries right now, through
(27:18):
the, the, the magic of theinternet and free downloads
You'll get a link and me and youcan get online and talk about.
I'd love to be on be an honorfor me to help you in any way
that I can.
So, before we get off tonight, Iwant to ask you what are some
(27:41):
of your biggest challenges thatyou have right now?
What are the things that youneed prayer for?
Maybe you're still hurting,you're aching over those wounds
in your story and you want tochange.
Maybe you want to connect in anew way to God as your Father.
(28:09):
That maybe you never thought ispossible.
You've been waiting for yourdad to come back around, but I
can tell you right today you canask God, not only in your life,
but you can ask Him to be yourFather too, because he loves to
father us.
(28:29):
Matter of fact, in 2Corinthians 6.18, it says and I
will be a father to you and youwill be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord, god Almighty.
Guys, you have a brokenman-chooser.
Guys, have you plugged yourselfinto all the wrong things?
Plugged yourself into all thewrong things?
(28:52):
God's plan has always been tofather us so that we can make a
difference with our children andin our marriages.
That's what we like to call thefather difference.
When God makes a difference inyou can make a difference in us.
So why don't we pray right now?
And if you're in a place whereyou need a breakthrough in your
relationships or a breakthroughin your own personal identity,
(29:17):
god, the Father, is the best oneto let you know who you are.
So let's pray.
Father, I pray right now in thename of Jesus.
I pray for my friends that arewatching.
Right now, in the name of Jesus, I pray for my friends that are
watching.
I pray for their life, whoyou've called them to be.
(29:40):
Father, I pray you would revealyour love through Jesus Christ
right now.
In the name of Jesus, father, Ipray that you would begin to
heal those places in them thathave ached for years because
their dad just sort of checkedout.
Maybe you've given yourself toyour grandparents, which are
awesome, but you know at thecore of who you are, you can't
(30:03):
forget your dad and what hedidn't give you, because you
still carry what he didn'tdeposit in you.
But God, the Father, has it foryou.
And, father, I pray for thosedaughters that are watching and
those sons that are watching,that you would reveal your love
to them and fill them with theextraordinary gift of being a
(30:27):
son or being a daughter, thatthey would learn how to receive
that adoption you promised us,and all we got to do is say yes
to us.
That's what you want to say?
Yes, I want you to be my fathertoo.
Doesn't diminish your dad oryour grandpa, but we need to be
fathers so that we can make thefather difference with our life.
(30:50):
And if that's your prayer, justsay Lord, give it to me right
now, in the name of Jesus.
In the name of Jesus and allGod's people said amen.
Thank you, it's great being withyou here.
We're at the end of our time.
(31:11):
I seem to get a little bitlong-winded talking about this,
but I am so grateful that you'retuning in.
Would love your comments.
Make sure you post on whateverplatform you're watching and I
am so honored to be here toserve you.
I'm Ed Tame McLaughlin.
(31:32):
With the Father DifferenceMinistries, which were formerly
Blessing of the FatherMinistries, you become man,
woman, grandma, grandpa.
You know a person that father,mother, that God has called you
(31:55):
to be right now.
It's his beloved sons anddaughters.
God bless you.
Have a wonderful evening.
We'll see you next week.
Well, welcome.
Hey, it's great to be heretonight.
Let me get rid of the bannerhere.
Oh boy, If you're checking inhere, just Okay.
Comments here in here, justokay.
(00:55):
Comments here, okay.
Banner show, don't all right,well, okay, okay, so we are
going to turn off.
There we go.
Hey, here we are.
A minute 56 seconds, welcome.
I'm grateful for those that arecoming in On Facebook I see you
there On X and a welcome hereto our tonight, to what we're
(01:22):
doing, and there are just a fewthings that were working out
here.
Hang with me.
And we got to get rid of anybanners that we don't need here.
High current banner.
Okay, so welcome tonight, it'sgood to have you here.
(01:43):
The Father Difference.
I'm your host, edTanney-McGlasson, and tonight
we're going to talk about howJesus heals our father wounds
and the difference that willmake in our story, in our life,
and for you that are in themidst of being fathers, and for
(02:07):
you gals that maybe you havelived your life in a way to and
you still feel a little stuck asa mom or you're a dad and you
feel kind of stuck like there'sa missing piece.
And so tonight we're going totalk about just for a few
(02:29):
minutes about how Jesus healsthose father wounds.
And so, to kind of get started,I wanted to just share a little
bit with you something that Iwrote this afternoon that made
me think about you and kind ofwhat we're talking about here
(02:50):
tonight, and I'm just going toread this to you.
You can read along with me, ifyou can see on your screen.
I believe that for most men, thekey to their future lies in
fixing their past.
Want to give me kind of a shoutout.
If that's true for you guys,how about you gals that are
watching?
(03:11):
Most girls, the key to theirfuture lies in how emotionally
available their dads were tothem.
Growing up, I had no idea howmuch that would mean to my
daughters by being emotionallyavailable, dating them, hugging
them, loving them, being a partof their story.
(03:32):
I didn't know how much thatwould happen.
So you know, moreover, I'mconvinced that their father is
the strongest person in both oftheir lives.
It's the one that our childrenlook to.
They look to you.
They look to how you treat them, how you love them, how you
(03:55):
spend time with them, and whenwe're distracted or busy making
a living like how many of youguys are making a living all the
time and you don't feel likeyou can be there.
Or, mom, you're justoverwhelmed with all the stuff
that's going on.
You know that's just part of.
You know the process that youknow we got to do in our normal
(04:20):
life.
But our children they're kindof like—and imagine they're sort
of like wet cement and you knowthe way we father them and the
way we mother them reallyimprints on them how they see
themselves, who they seethemselves to be, see themselves
(04:43):
who they see themselves to be.
And when those relationshipsare hurt or they go sideways,
then it affects our relationship.
Here's some more of what Iwrote this afternoon for you.
You know some of you mightdisagree that your dad is your
(05:06):
strongest person in your life,right, that he's not a big deal
and that you might not even haveknown him.
Then why is the empty chair atyour dinner table growing up?
Think about that the dominantforce of your childhood and the
formation of your identity.
Force of your childhood and theformation of your identity.
(05:29):
I meet people every day thatthey're still stuck because
their dad wasn't there.
And why is that so important?
Well, god's made us to befathered, and when we don't have
a dad in our life, it can skewthat, our whole view of who we
are, the identity that we carry,the person that we become.
(05:50):
I know for me, you know my, youknow.
Takeaway from my childhood was alittle line that my mother used
to say to me growing up andwhen she would describe my dad,
who was killed in action.
So I never got to see him.
(06:10):
My stepdad stepped in when Iwas one years old and praised
the Lord for him.
You know your dear father, Ican.
How many of you can still hearthe tone of your mom's voice in
the things they said?
Yeah, you can.
(06:35):
Just, you know, of course, ofcourse we can.
And so part of you know shewould say your dear father, all
he ever wanted, all he everwanted in his life, was to play
professional football.
And if you, his only son, couldsomehow make it in the National
(06:59):
Football League, he'd look downfrom heaven and be so proud.
Oh man, that screws up a kid,doesn't it?
And I remember just those earlydays of just the formation of
who I was, that I made thatdecision that if I'm going to be
somebody, then I'm going tohave to play football, and
(07:23):
everything was riding on memaking it.
And, man, what happens when youget hurt or you get sideways?
Maybe you had been in your ownlife.
Well, I want to read a littlebit more about you know, and the
truth of the matter is that theabsence of a father can be a
powerful force in shaping yourpersonality.
(07:43):
Well, of course they can.
Our fathers play a significantrole in molding us into who we
become.
Have you noticed that we havethis incredible identity crisis
Throughout our culture?
We don't know who we areanymore.
(08:03):
We've made everything aboutdiscovering identity.
Performance is about identity.
Where we live is about identity.
Everything's kind of—it's like.
Children have now left theorphanage of not being fathered
in a lot of ways, and they'relooking constantly to find out
who they are.
The only problem with that isthat it's so easy, then, for you
(08:28):
to make your life completelyabout yourself, and if you don't
discover who you are by whatyou do or what you have or what
you know, then who are you, thenwho are you?
And so you know?
There's this, you know old adagethat's true of a father you
(08:54):
know plays a significant role inmolding us into who we become.
It's often said that it's kindof like like father, like son,
or how about this line the appledoesn't fall far from the tree.
In other words, you're justlike your dad, which, in some
ways, you want that to be agreat thing.
You know, I think the mostpowerful thing that anyone's
(09:18):
ever said to me is when theycome up and tell me that I met
your son or I met your daughter,and they're extraordinary.
Imagine hearing that as a momor as a dad.
That's what we want to hear.
That's why we suffer.
That's why we go through allthat we go through as parents,
(09:49):
go through all that we gothrough as parents, and even if
we do a bad job, we still wantthem to be better than us.
So I want to say amen.
So we're going to talk tonightabout a little bit more about
this and this whole you knowaspect of you know how did Jesus
heal this father?
Well, you know part of it.
I'm going to kind of share alittle story to help kind of
(10:13):
frame this for you.
I remember years ago I wouldwake up early and take my son
Edward to the golf range.
He wanted to play golf, so Iwent to help him.
And early mornings there at thegolf range.
And I remember a young man whowas there in a golf team and I
(10:38):
went to go watch one of theirmatches and they were warning up
and he walks over to me and hesays, could you be my dad?
And I said, well, why would youask me that?
He said, you know my father's.
(11:00):
You know all he does is workand he's never seen me hit a
golf shot.
And I watch you out here.
You're here at all thesematches.
No-transcript.
(11:25):
Well, I've got to tell you,beloved, that is the cry of this
next generation.
And here's the other part.
It's the cry of many of us whoweren't fathered.
So how does God heal thatfatherless issue in it?
It's not that our dads weren'tthere, it's not that our dads
aren't good dads at times, butthere's a lot of us who suffered
(11:49):
or, you know, got sideways.
I mean, let me just show you.
I don't know if you guys knowthis, but let me just throw some
statistics up.
They're pretty alarming.
Well, did you know?
There's 19.7 million childrenmore than one in four live
(12:13):
without a father in a home.
In our country.
47.6% of children are fromfatherless homes, live in
poverty.
63% of youth suicide arefatherless homes.
That's five times the average.
How about this one?
85% of youth in prisons arefrom fatherless homes, 70% of
(12:39):
teen pregnancies happen infatherless homes, 90% of all
homeless and runaways are fromfatherless homes 32 times the
average.
And 85% of all children whoshow behavior disorders are from
(13:00):
fatherless homes.
That's crazy, isn't it?
80% of rapists with angerproblems come from fatherless
homes.
So I mean, there's an epidemicwith this going on in the world.
And it's not that dads don'twant to be there, but one of the
(13:27):
true things about being afather or, by the way, being a
mom is that we're able to giveaway what we have received.
It's like God's made us withtwo amazing things.
He's made us to beword-activated human beings.
He actually made Adam and thenEve.
(13:48):
By speaking it out of His mouth, jesus was there in the
creation process and said thateverything that had been created
was created by Him, for Him andthrough Him.
He actually upholds the wholecreation by the Word of His
power.
So Adam became a full man whenthe Trinity got together and
(14:08):
said let us make man in ourimage and likeness.
Boom.
That's why words over you stillhave incredible power.
That's why somebody can buildyou up or tell you down.
A look from your dad can ruinyour week.
Sometimes moms give you thoselooks.
You know the ones, but there'ssomething about a dad's look
(14:31):
because it carries with it theweight of identity and if that's
not clear for you, it kind oftweaks you in your life, you
know.
And so how does God heal ourfatherless ones?
Well, here's an incrediblepromise.
He says that I will not leaveyou as orphans.
(14:55):
I'll come to you.
John 14, verse 18.
Jesus is talking to hisdisciples.
The room is filled with peopleand Jesus says I won't leave you
as orphans.
Well, they all have moms anddads.
So what's he talking about?
Well, the word there for orphanis actually a word that means
(15:19):
fatherless.
I won't leave you fatherlessfrom God, my Father.
Leave you fatherless from God,my Father.
You know, jesus came living thislife where he said I can only
do what I see the Father doing.
I can only speak what I hearHim speaking.
(15:39):
He came to demonstrate what alife looked like that had a
loving, present Father in Hislife.
That backed Him up and led Himthroughout the journey in the
incredible mission and to thecross and to the resurrection
that we just experienced, andyou know what an incredible
thing that is.
And so he promised that wewouldn't be fatherless anymore.
(16:04):
So that's one of God's promisesto you.
The second thing that's there isin, you know, in John 17, verse
26,.
Jesus says I have made known toyou, in your name, and will
continue to make it known, thatthe love in which you love me
(16:25):
may be in them and I in them.
I mean Christ came to revealthe love of the Father to you
and to me in a way that willprofoundly affect how you see
yourself.
And you know, part of thehealing, of healing your
(16:49):
father's wounds, is, you know,forgiving your dad.
Of course, because your dad—thething about being a father and
I'm so grateful for this too,because I'm a dad is that you
know, forgiveness is a powerfultool of really understanding
that your dad gave you what hehad, even if he was broken.
(17:16):
Some of it might have beenintentional and wicked, but most
of the time, as fathers,they're giving you what they
have, and so if we hold them onthe hook for their entire life
because they can't be the fatherthat we need, well then all of
us are going to be disappointedwith our dads.
We could have the best fatherin the world with all the
(17:37):
resources.
If money was the thing, thenwhy are so many of these
celebrity kids so screwed up?
Because dads might have beenable to give them money, but
what about the things that theyreally need?
I mean and I coach men andwomen in different countries of
(18:02):
the world it doesn't matter howmuch money they have.
They're just as screwed up ifthey're gold-plated or they're
lead-plated, because it's thatthe father can give them money.
But if he doesn't give themwhat they need and that is Daddy
, what do you really think aboutme?
For a boy?
(18:22):
Do I have what it takes to be aman?
Do you see me as being a man Ifyou make that transition into
adulthood?
Or for a daughter, daddy, am Ibeautiful?
Am I someone to be loved?
You know your affection towardsyour daughters and I learned
this, and this will be a futuresegment but I learned that if I
(18:48):
would date my daughters, like afather takes a daughter on a
date and am appropriatelyaffectionate and loving with
them, and model what it's likefor maybe a future suitor to
come into her life boy, itchanges the game Because it
(19:14):
helps that girl's man choose her.
I mean, how many of you galshave chosen bad boys, thinking
you can turn them into good boys.
And so many times, you know,daughters will pick a gigantic
project.
And you know, in the beginningwith one of my daughters, they
(19:37):
start choosing projects and Irealized that they were thinking
if they could somehow maybe fixthis guy.
I don't think they thought thatyou know volitionally here, but
it's like if they could fixtheir man, they, you know, they
can maybe fix a relationshipwith me.
(19:58):
Well, what a wake-up call thatwas for me.
But Jesus' promise is that I'vemade your name known to them
and will continue that the lovethat you have me might be in
them.
God's promise for you is tolove you like you love the Son
Jesus.
There's no greater love thanthat.
(20:22):
But here's the third part ofthis.
He demonstrated what a fatherlife looks like.
See, when we receive Jesus, wealso receive our adoption as
beloved sons and daughters inChrist.
It's part of what he gave to us.
Included in that adoption we're, all you know.
(20:47):
All of the same blessings thatJesus received from His Father
are available to us.
Look at this verse with me herein Ephesians 1.3.
Blessed be the God and Father ofour Lord, jesus Christ, who has
blessed us in Christ with everyspiritual blessing in the
(21:10):
heavenly places.
So how much does God, theFather, want to bless you?
He wants to pour in everyspiritual blessing that's in the
heavenly places into your life.
How much is that?
That's everything, you know.
(21:30):
He wants to pour everything.
When Moses, you know, came downfrom the mountain with the
law—there's Mount Sinai rightthere—when he came down from
that mountain, he had, you know,the Ten Commandments he had.
God gave him the TenCommandments not just so, you
(21:53):
know, he could prove that we'reall going to blow it because we
can't even keep one of them.
He brought those things toteach us how to live a life that
that wouldn't be like everybodyelse in the world could live, a
life that we could be likeeverybody else in the world
Could live, a life that we couldbe blessed.
But we couldn't even keep theTen Commandments.
(22:16):
And so when God sent His SonJesus, he sent His Son to begin
to heal, to begin to be presentin the life, in our life, in a
profound way, that where you andI could experience what it's
like to be present in our lifein a profound way, that where
you and I could experience whatit's like to be loved by God,
the Father, and not only lovedby Him, we would be able to
(22:43):
understand that he wants tobless us with every blessing.
We need to be the mom we needto be, to be the father we need
to be, to be the man or thewoman we need to be, or, if
you're a young person, to be theyoung person that God's called
you to be.
That's all part of it, and thefourth part of this for tonight
and this kind of shortmini-message about how Jesus
(23:03):
heals our fatherless wounds, isthis last point, which he
promised you something else hepromised that we can receive the
blessing of the Father'sblessing too, and the more we
(23:35):
understand that in our life, themore the difference we can make
, because we understand that wedon't have to produce His
blessing, we just need toreceive it.
He wants to bless you right now.
Matter of fact, his blessing isavailable for you in Christ.
Maybe you struggled as a mom, oryou struggled as a dad and
(23:57):
you're like gosh man, I totallyblown it.
Well, I just want to.
You know, I want to invite youright now to just take a moment
and just answer a couple ofquestions.
You know how much have you beenaffected by the way you were
(24:20):
fathered?
Was it a lot, was it little?
Did your dad have much of acapacity from God to bless your
life or did he struggle?
And here's a question Did hestruggle because he didn't love
(24:40):
you?
I don't think so.
I think that dads strugglebecause they don't know what to
do and they don't get thatemotional peace from their own
dad because their fathers didn'tknow how to be available.
Maybe you're separated fromyour dad and you think well, you
(25:02):
know, it's just kind of wherethe life is, so you just cut him
off.
Well, I don't know that theanswer will be in your dad if
somehow he reunites with you,but I do know.
This is a fact.
When Jesus promised I won'tleave you as orphans, his plan
all along is for you and for Ito connect to His Father in such
(25:26):
a profound way that we nolonger can say we're unfathered.
We can no longer say that we'rean orphan at heart.
He wants to bless you, he wantsto bless me in profound ways
and we're here to help you dothat.
But before we kind of finishour live stream and we're live
(25:50):
streaming every week at thistime 5 o'clock.
If you've got questions for me,post them in the comments.
You have a couple of ways to gothrough this.
Before we pray, I want you tosign up and get a free book that
we have, the Difference aFather Makes.
(26:11):
It's our gift to you and we'dlove to send it to you.
Also, we have another tool justto help you kind of in your
journey, and it's our dailydevotional.
You can go right to our websiteto get both of these,
thefatherdifferentcom, and it'sa daily devotional that'll pop
(26:33):
up every day with something tothink about in your journey,
kind of a devotional connectedwith the love of the Father
through His magnificent Son ofJesus.
And that's not it.
Not only that.
Maybe you find yourself and youneed some coaching and you're
(26:56):
saying, ed, I could use somehelp.
Well, that's a big part of whatwe do.
And if you go to download thatfree book, there's a link.
Once you sign up for that freebook.
There's a link.
Once you sign up for that freebook, difference of father makes
which is, by the way, it's in125 countries right now, through
(27:18):
the, the, the magic of theinternet and free downloads
You'll get a link and me and youcan get online and talk about.
I'd love to be on be an honorfor me to help you in any way
that I can.
So, before we get off tonight, Iwant to ask you what are some
(27:41):
of your biggest challenges thatyou have right now?
What are the things that youneed prayer for?
Maybe you're still hurting,you're aching over those wounds
in your story and you want tochange.
Maybe you want to connect in anew way to God as your Father.
(28:09):
That maybe you never thought ispossible.
You've been waiting for yourdad to come back around, but I
can tell you right today you canask God, not only in your life,
but you can ask Him to be yourFather too, because he loves to
father us.
(28:29):
Matter of fact, in 2Corinthians 6.18, it says and I
will be a father to you and youwill be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord, god Almighty.
Guys, you have a brokenman-chooser.
Guys, have you plugged yourselfinto all the wrong things?
Plugged yourself into all thewrong things?
(28:52):
God's plan has always been tofather us so that we can make a
difference with our children andin our marriages.
That's what we like to call thefather difference.
When God makes a difference inyou can make a difference in us.
So why don't we pray right now?
And if you're in a place whereyou need a breakthrough in your
relationships or a breakthroughin your own personal identity,
(29:17):
god, the Father, is the best oneto let you know who you are.
So let's pray.
Father, I pray right now in thename of Jesus.
I pray for my friends that arewatching.
Right now, in the name of Jesus, I pray for my friends that are
watching.
I pray for their life, whoyou've called them to be.
(29:40):
Father, I pray you would revealyour love through Jesus Christ
right now.
In the name of Jesus, father, Ipray that you would begin to
heal those places in them thathave ached for years because
their dad just sort of checkedout.
Maybe you've given yourself toyour grandparents, which are
awesome, but you know at thecore of who you are, you can't
(30:03):
forget your dad and what hedidn't give you, because you
still carry what he didn'tdeposit in you.
But God, the Father, has it foryou.
And, father, I pray for thosedaughters that are watching and
those sons that are watching,that you would reveal your love
to them and fill them with theextraordinary gift of being a
(30:27):
son or being a daughter, thatthey would learn how to receive
that adoption you promised us,and all we got to do is say yes
to us.
That's what you want to say?
Yes, I want you to be my fathertoo.
Doesn't diminish your dad oryour grandpa, but we need to be
fathers so that we can make thefather difference with our life.
(30:50):
And if that's your prayer, justsay Lord, give it to me right
now, in the name of Jesus.
In the name of Jesus and allGod's people said amen.
Thank you, it's great being withyou here.
We're at the end of our time.
(31:11):
I seem to get a little bitlong-winded talking about this,
but I am so grateful that you'retuning in.
Would love your comments.
Make sure you post on whateverplatform you're watching and I
am so honored to be here toserve you.
I'm Ed Tame McLaughlin.
(31:32):
With the Father DifferenceMinistries, which were formerly
Blessing of the FatherMinistries, you become man,
woman, grandma, grandpa.
You know a person that father,mother, that God has called you
(31:55):
to be right now.
It's his beloved sons anddaughters.
God bless you.
Have a wonderful evening.
We'll see you next week.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Herd with Colin Cowherd
The Herd with Colin Cowherd is a thought-provoking, opinionated, and topic-driven journey through the top sports stories of the day.