March 25, 2025 • 59 mins
What if the words “Daddy, do you see me?” became the lens for how you father your daughter—and how you lead yourself? We dive into the deeper work beneath tactics, showing why a dad’s secure identity in God unlocks the patience, tenderness, and courage a girl needs to thrive.
• Naming a daughter’s beauty through presence and blessing
• Moving identity from performance to beloved sonship
• Asking better questions and modeling forgiveness
• Shifting from control to collaboration on house rules
• Resisting bitterness and repairing after conflict
• Learning to love without needing approval
• Practical ways to “see” and speak life over daughters
• Why the Trinity’s love is the family template
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:43):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (01:15):
Hey, good to be with you from Southern California.
Welcome.
Already got some likes comingin.
I'd love to hear where you comefrom.
Today, we're going to talk aboutthose ever-elusive creatures
called girls and daughters andhow to be the best dad you can
(01:37):
be.
And uh and I got to tell youright from the beginning, if
yours truly can learn how tolove my daughters, who are very
strong and got Icelandic blood,there is hope for every man out
there.
Because I didn't tell you, I didnot get much from being a
football player.
(01:58):
Love to hear where you're from.
You can throw some comments out.
Good to see you there, JustinCarlton.
He's a dad and he's got twopowerful girls he's trying to
love there as he's travelingacross the United States.
Matter of fact, give him a shoutout.
(02:18):
He uh goes into churches andcompanies, and he's uh ex-Air
Force, incredibly skilled.
He was actually a policemanthere.
Maybe you're looking forsomething for your church or
your family, and you would likesome self-defense or some
training with firearms, becauseunder this administration, it's
(02:43):
an okay thing to actually ownguns, have bullets, and protect
your family.
So if that's your cup of tea,we'll get uh Justin's info.
I'm sure his wife, who is myassistant, will pop it up there
on the screen so you know how toget a hold of Justin Carlton.
(03:04):
He is a master.
Matter of fact, he took yourstruly on the gun range back in
Montana.
I was there, and I actually shotone target, and the bullet just
about was perfectly through thevery center.
There's a lot of them otherwiseother ways, but anyway, it was
really fun and it gave me a lotof skill doing that.
(03:27):
Okay, guys, back to the men's ofJustin Carlton.
If you want to get a hold ofhim, you can right here's his
number.
If you're looking forself-defense classes for your
family, for your church, forsecurity.
He also does assessments forpeople.
I'm getting nothing out of this.
(03:48):
I'm just doing this because Ilove him and he's really good at
what he does.
So get a hold of Justin at406-940-5360.
Okay, we're gonna get busy.
We're gonna get busy talkingabout help for dads raising
daughters.
So, how are you doing, myfriend?
(04:10):
How are you doing raising yourdaughter?
Well, I got two incredibledaughters.
I'm gonna tell you a little oneof one story of the many that I
have.
And I went to my daughter'sgraduation.
Now you probably can't see inthere, but right in the middle
of all these dark-haired peopleis a blonde.
(04:32):
That is my daughter Jessica.
And when we saw her, she waswaving to me.
And when we finally, you know,made eye contact, she went
absolutely ballistic.
And she's she's screaming, youknow, there's you know, here I
(04:53):
am, Dad.
Daddy, do you see me?
Uh such a powerful thing.
And, you know, she actuallycalled me on her cell phone.
And when I heard that question,that question that every
daughter asks.
When your daughter gets in highschool and she dresses up to go
(05:15):
out, she might not come to youand might not say much to you.
She's looking for your reaction.
Because believe it or not, Dad,first thing I'm going to say to
you is that you are, let merepeat this, and I'm going to go
with a tight shot.
You are the first man in yourdaughter's life.
(05:39):
Matter of fact, you are the mostimportant beginning man.
And the way you learn to fatherher, love her, nurture her, be
affectionate to her will reallyhelp shape the way she sees
herself, even her beauty.
She's already got mom.
Mom takes her out, buys herstuff, they put on the makeup
(06:01):
thing.
I'm not talking about all thatmagic dirt stuff that girls do
and all that stuff.
But how you look at them, howyou love them, how you play with
them, how you're in their storyis incredibly powerful because
their sense of beauty comes fromthe way you look at them.
(06:22):
I got to tell you, yours trulywas terrible at it.
I was terrible at it in thebeginning.
I was like, what?
Am I in trouble?
I uh my my very first beginningtime, you know, being a husband
and a dad with two daughters,and actually had five kids, I
(06:43):
had three more sons.
Boys are a lot more predictable,even though they're sneaky and
they do crazy stuff, you knowwhere they are emotionally.
But daughters are another thing.
And so I've come home and mygoal was I hope I'm not in
trouble.
(07:05):
And my daughters could look atme such a way and I would be
crushed.
The same way with my wife.
How about you?
And it wasn't, and it wasn'tthat I was afraid of them.
I just did not know how to meetthem and nurture them and father
them because I didn't get muchfrom my stepdad.
(07:30):
Matter of fact, on my weddingday, he comes over to me, and
you've probably heard this ifyou follow me at any time, and
he comes over and I'm lookingfor advice.
I'm in the back room, I'mgetting ready to walk out and
get married to Jill.
And he looks at me and he goes,son, I can't tell you much about
(07:53):
girls, but I can tell you twothings.
Number one, they're better seenand not heard.
That was the worst thing youcould say to me.
The worst.
And I know he was trying hisbest, and I know that he was in
a lot of trouble with my mom alot of times.
(08:16):
But it didn't get it didn't giveme much.
And the result was that it it itfray and the other thing, I said
two things.
The other thing he said was, youknow, women are better seen and
not heard.
And then he said, and it's sortof just drama, drama, drama.
(08:37):
And so he, without meaning to,he was conditioning me to
basically say that when a girlis emotional or tender or upset
or dealing with emotional thingsin her life, that it's not okay,
that they need to somehow stopbeing that way so that they
(09:01):
become as safe a place for us asdads to love.
Think about that.
Well, here's the truth it's notabout our daughter being a safe
place for us to love, because bythe way, when you love anybody,
it's not safe because they canreject you.
(09:21):
It's about you feeling so safein the love of God yourself that
you're able to fully embrace andbe present in the life of your
daughter who, and I say this alot, it's a big joke in my
family, because my daughters attimes will live in this estrogen
(09:47):
river, and there are monstersthere waiting to devour any man
that comes their way.
Well, I make fun of that, butI've learned something that that
the beautiful estrogen river ofmy daughter's hearts is an
incredibly powerful place forthem as women.
(10:09):
Because without a woman in yourstory or daughters in your
story, there are places of thelove of God that you might miss
in your own life.
There are tenderness and thingsfor you to learn with your
daughters that can change theway you see yourself.
(10:31):
Because when in listen to mewhen I say this to you, when I
have the heart of my daughtersand I they know I am doing my
best to connect to them and lovethem, they are incredibly
protective of me as her dad.
And now me as her grandpa.
(10:54):
They're like mama bears.
You you mess with my dad or mygrandpa, I went to you in.
(11:18):
And you know, they they spent somuch of their days living in the
laundry room, doing laundry anddoing housework and and all
those things, is that he justdidn't have much equipment from
his dad.
It wasn't that he didn't lovehis girls, he just didn't know
how to show it.
And most of us dads, how much ofa model did your father model to
(11:42):
you about how to love a girl?
And a lot of it is wasconditioned into us by the way
he dated your mom.
And if he's dating mom andloving her and it's
affectionate, it gives us amodel as a man that it's okay.
(12:03):
It's it might not be safeemotionally.
One guy once said, I said, sotell me what the guy's a he's a
he's a great coach of people.
And I asked him, so what's yoursecret of loving your wife?
And he said, Well, I I just whatI do is I when I go to bed at
(12:26):
night, I forget the woman I fellasleep with and how she was that
day, and I love the one thatwakes up the next day, no matter
who she is.
She might wake up and just be ina completely different mood.
And and it's like it, they'rejust, and I said, so it's
impossible to figure out orpredict them.
(12:48):
That's right, because we're nowomen, we're men.
And the best thing for us to dois to learn to love and honor,
etc.
So, how do you get this placewhere you get secure enough?
So I'm going to talk to youabout tonight, where you get
secure enough in the love of theFather for you, the love of God
(13:09):
for you, where your coreidentity is so secure in who you
are, that you can step towardsthat daughter that loves you or
not.
Maybe you have a stepdaughter inyour story, or a wife, or an
ex-wife in your life, and you'venever been good with girls.
(13:29):
I'm going to share with you justthree things that revolutionize
the way I've learned to be okayaround girls.
Because here's the deal (13:41):
if you're not clear about who God
has called you to be andlearning how to receive from
Him, you'll try to get youridentity all the time from
everything you do.
And if you try to get youridentity from the girls in your
life, you're going to be in awhole lot of trouble.
(14:06):
And you guys know this, okay?
You absolutely know this.
How many times has your daughterjust looked at you funny and
crushed you?
Or your wife looks at you acertain way, and you know, oh
boy, I'm in trouble.
They have an amazing abilitybecause they can uh connect with
(14:27):
their emotions, they can collectintellectually, they can uh
connect in in the way they lookand everything, and and they
have this gift from God that wereally need in our lives.
And so, how do we build anidentity that in a real way is
(14:48):
bulletproof to the wiles of awoman?
And I'm not saying it doesn'thurt, I'm not saying that
they're not gonna hit yousometimes, and you're gonna go,
what the heck just happened?
But I I I will tell you, I'veI've learned a couple things
about the daughters of my story,and the thing that's so profound
(15:11):
to me is I have daughters,literally spiritual daughters,
all over the world, that call mePapa.
I mean, that's just incrediblyamazing to me.
That you know, this thisfootball player that used to
(15:31):
grab and hold people to keepthem from sock and sacking a
quarterback would know how tolove girls, or at least have
some steps with them and betender enough.
And by the way, I I wouldn't usethe word no, I'm learning over
and over again.
If you're with me, give me ahigh five.
(15:52):
Because that is totally thetruth.
Okay, so let's get into the nextslide here.
And so when my daughter, and Iand I share with you, if you're
just jumping on, was in UCLA,calls me on the phone, and and
when she said, Daddy, do you seeme?
When I when I heard thatquestion, I was there with my
(16:14):
wife, I realized that's thequestion that every daughter
asks.
And uh Jill and I, we justresponded by jumping down like
crazy fans when my daughter, youknow, did that.
And I'll never forget the lookthat she had on her face when we
(16:36):
were acting like crazy people.
And it's daddy, do you see me?
And I and remember when I was ayoung dad, and from my office,
uh I have a big window in myoffice, and in the center of our
(16:56):
house here, there's an atrium asa garden.
And my daughters were many, manyyears ago when they were little,
were in there dancing and tryingto get my attention, and we're
putting on all of their Disneycostumes, hats, streamers, and
(17:16):
they were trying to get myattention, and they were singing
and dancing and playing in frontof my window.
And I was in here trying tostudy for something, might have
been a sermon, might have beenwhat guys do when you're
overwhelmed and your daughtersare driving you crazy.
You're just hiding doingsomething, watching TV, etc.,
(17:42):
because that's a safe place.
Job's in my safe place, to behonest.
And they're dancing and jumpingup and down, and I'm uh I'm
looking at them and I'm just andI just watched this movie with
Mel Gibson called Well Women,What What Women Want.
(18:08):
And I watched the movie hopingthat I would get a key.
And the only thing I learned isthat if you know Mel Gibson is
playing this dad who has noclue, he's he electric himself
when the hairdryer falls in thebathtub and somehow shocks him
because he's trying to get moreconnected with his daughter,
who's a teenager and wants to goto the dance and get a dress and
(18:31):
some shoes and have a boyfriendand all this, and he's just
going crazy.
What do I do?
And somehow, in shockinghimself, his mind was opened up
and he was able to hear whatwomen think.
It was a hysterical movie.
Wouldn't that be a great gift?
(18:52):
And and so I wouldn't even, Ieven thought, gosh, I wish that
worked.
I wouldn't be in trouble somuch.
And so I'm thinking about thatmovie.
I'm watching my daughtersjumping up and down, and I asked
God, I was just sitting there, Isaid, God, what do women want?
You ever asked that question?
What do women want?
(19:14):
And I just, you know, rightthen, the Lord just kind of
poured something into me becausehe had been dealing with my own
identity issues.
And I just had an incredibleencounter with him uh months
earlier about my own story,losing my dad, and how God loves
(19:35):
fathering us and healing thosethings in our lives as men that
our dads maybe broke or weren'tthere to help us with.
And this is what he said to me.
And when I say this, I'm notsaying there was an audible
voice and smoke came in theroom, but there was his internal
(19:57):
voice that's not Ed, that spoke,and I recognize him when he
speaks because of filling myheart with God's word.
If you want to learn how to hearGod in your life internally, and
there are times when he speaksaudibly to people, I mean,
that's not something thathappens to me.
(20:19):
It's very, very seldom, and uh Iwouldn't say audible, it's it's
internal, but it makes yourbones shake.
Is that the more you read God'sword, and the more you spend
time, just even 15, 20, 30minutes, listen to it, the more
you fill your heart with hisword, the more it conditions you
(20:40):
to hearing from him.
And many times he'll just bringa scripture up, and that will be
that will be just thisdemarcation point to a whole new
beginning.
More on that in the future.
We talk about hearing the voiceof the Lord.
And so I'm there, and thatinternal voice, it hits me, and
(21:01):
he he this is what I heard himsay, it's rattled inside my
heart.
He said, He says, if you learnto turn your heart towards me,
in other words, if if you youknow will turn your heart to me,
(21:24):
I'll help you become the fatheryou've always wanted to be.
And that was just so pivotal forme.
And then looking, you know,asking that question, what do my
daughters want?
You know, in this in this momentwith him, he just is downloading
(21:48):
to me was that he said this iswhat he said internally.
Inside of every little girl whenshe's born, she's born with a
question in her heart Daddy, doyou see me?
Am I beautiful?
Am I someone to be loved?
And then he shared somethingthat rocked my world.
(22:12):
And if you answer that questionand become a present, loving dad
in your story, you will keep thepretenders away from your
daughters, which solves my otherthing of you know, cleaning my
shotgun every time a young mancomes around.
(22:34):
But that my daughters had thisquestion in them Daddy, do you
see me?
Am I someone to be loved?
Your wife had that question.
That's why she comes up with herher makeup and her outfits, she
wants your comments, and howpowerful that is when you're
(22:57):
close enough uh to them and andand hearing from the Lord is
that you're the one who's namingher beautiful.
That's incredibly powerful.
Because if you if you're waitingfor a guy online or in social
media to do with your daughters,he's ultimately sure gonna name
(23:21):
them beautiful, but requireprobably her body in exchange.
I have this plus size gal get ahold of me.
She saw a video I did on TikTokand Instagram, and it was all
(23:42):
Daddy Do You See Me?
And matter of fact, it'ssomewhere around 1.5 million
views right now.
And one of the gals who watchit, this this plus size uh
model, you know, had a you know,pretty I went to her channel
because she said, I I've beenweeping every day, I can't stop
(24:04):
thinking about that question.
Because all I ever wanted was mydad to look at me one time and
love me.
But he always put me down, hewas never in my life, and then
she confessed, she says, I thinkI've spent my whole life doing
(24:29):
what I'm doing with my body onthe camera and everything else
to feel beautiful, and so Iresponded right away and back
and forth with her numbers oftimes, and she said, I would you
(24:50):
be a dad in my story?
I can't believe of the commentsto have a man bless me, a father
bless me, because there is noother person in the whole world
(25:11):
other than you, dad, that hasthe authority and the place to
speak life into your children,then you do, and when the enemy
gets us sideways with him, withthe Lord, he's trying to get you
away from your kids so that theycan fall victim to his false
(25:39):
identity agenda.
I mean, we've just gone througha horrible season in in our
world, uh, and with people who Ihave come tremendous compassion
for people that are confusedabout who they are and try to
get their identity from theirsexual appetites.
(26:01):
And in further review of them,there was one missing factor in
in I won't say how high becauseI I don't want to overstate it,
but it's well over 90% of thepeople that I run into either
(26:22):
had a monster dad or no father,or completely distracted father.
And that identity piece theynever got.
And so you want to secure yourdaughter into a life where she
(26:43):
really understands who she is,and she becomes a powerful
force.
Well, guess who the person iswho starts that journey?
You need to the dad who helpsher discover her identity in
Christ, and her mom who modelsto her what a powerful woman
(27:05):
looks like.
And when you have those twothings together, you you see you
have powerful.
My my daughters are powerful.
I have my part, but my wife isamazing in the way she has
mothered them and been in herlife and the model she's been as
a missionary and all the thingsshe's done.
(27:27):
She's been a great, great motherand now amazing grandma.
And we're getting ready for abig trip to go see our grannies
in Switzerland.
Oh, can't wait.
So back to what we're talkingabout.
And so that's the question,Daddy.
(27:47):
Do you see me?
So, how good have you beendealing with that?
Now, if you want to see mydaughters, here's me walking
Jessica down the aisle, and Iget to turn around and do the
ceremony.
Is that the coolest?
You know, I got the, you know,you know, we stand there and had
a friend of mine say, Who givesJessica to be married to Greg?
(28:09):
And I said, her mother and I do,and then I walked around and did
the service.
And here's me and Mary uh havinga father-daughter dance at her
wedding, and George Andrew'sbackyard, George and Heidi, who
are part of our family.
Heidi is Jill's sister.
(28:30):
And uh I'm there twirling aroundand just having a blast with my
Mary.
So sweet.
And to just that look in myface, isn't just the wedding.
The look in my face is that Igot to be a father to them that
I never saw my dad be with mysisters.
(28:52):
So why do we struggle so muchwith the girls in our life?
Have you ever thought aboutthat?
Or if we look back at that oldmovie, why can't a woman be more
like a man?
Right?
Predictable.
We think, well, that would begreat.
No, we get bored with them.
They are constantly.
And I've learned two things.
(29:13):
Number one, when I'm madefathering about me, I was really
good at hurting my daughters.
It's like I had my house rules,I had the McLeod rules.
Are you like that as a dad?
And to be in my home, you got todo this, and it's what it looks
like.
And so it wasn't, I wasn'tcommunicating and getting
(29:36):
feedback.
I was just sort of, you know,laying out the plan for success.
And the problem is, is andhere's something that you you
already know this that yourchildren will follow the rules
that they believe in.
Now they might act right aroundyou in the home, but when they
(29:58):
get away from you, They're goingto live out what they truly
believe.
And the secret of being a gooddad is helping be a part of
helping them discover greatthings from God about who
they're supposed to be and whatthey're supposed to do.
But if we're just kind offraming it, this is the way it
is, well, guess what we do?
(30:19):
We just blow them out.
And the second thing I wasdoing, I was trying to prove
myself as a good father.
I was always really good atalways being in trouble with my
daughters.
Because I would, you know, I wastrying to just, you know, I see,
and this is where you get stuck,guys, is when you're trying to
(30:42):
be a good father, say you readyou just read a book or you get
an idea and you kind of framewhat good is like, and you don't
ever involve your children inthe design of their life.
Now, what I mean by that is thatwe can only lead them to the
level that we have permissionfrom them.
(31:04):
Now, when they're little, wecan't say things like, well, if
you don't eat your spinach, thenyou're not going to get dessert,
or you're going to go to bed.
I mean, we can frame that in,and they will obey it for a
while.
But you do that to a teenager,what does she do?
And how many times have youblown your kids out of the house
because they weren't followingthe rules, or they were
(31:27):
disobeying God, or they weren'tliving up to scripture, or they
weren't going to church, or andso somehow you just separated,
or they showed you disrespect.
(31:48):
It wasn't about them wantingjust to disrespect me.
They were hurt, and I didn'tknow it.
And when I began to learn to askthem about that hurt, it began
to heal.
One of those questions that thatthat God has used so many times
with my own children and in ourcoaching ministry that we have
(32:12):
with dads and moms and families.
So I remember, you know, askingthis question.
And this, I wish I could say Ioriginated this.
I think it just came from theLord.
And here's the question.
When I see that my children arelike this with me, when they are
pushing back, it's because I'veheard them and I've not listened
(32:36):
to them.
Or I'm not talking to them ortalking at them.
And so my question is you know,I can tell that you're really
hurt.
Is there something that I didthat I need to ask for
forgiveness for?
Oh, you asked that question.
(32:57):
It might take your kids a whileif you're not used to asking
that question, but who in yourfamily is the one that's
modeling what it looks like toheal hurt by asking for
forgiveness?
Most homes don't ever do that.
We talk about hurt, we handleit.
(33:17):
I mean, with all these crazyelections, our children have
been watching us dealing withwho we're for, what party we
are, how we treat other peoplethat are different than us.
I mean, there's so muchbitterness that's going around.
What would happen if forgivenessbegan to permeate all those
relationships?
Even families that have beenseparated because they either
(33:41):
love or hate Donald Trump, ourpresident.
Imagine the healing that Godwants to bring.
Because I think it's thestupidest thing in the world to
draw a line in the sand becausewe have political differences.
That's the dumbest thing I'veever heard.
Whoever would think that thatwould be another thing the devil
(34:03):
would use to destroy yourfamily.
And by the way, if you're mad atsomebody for voting for Trump or
vice versa, you need to forgivethem and go to them and say, you
know, I want a betterrelationship.
And I can tell this politicalstuff is just not the sideways.
We need to talk.
We're family.
(34:24):
Because guess what?
Donald Trump's not going to beat your bedside or Kamala
Harris, if she was your choicefor president, they're not going
to be there holding your handwhen you slip into glory.
It's going to be your children.
It's going to be your wife.
It's going to be the people thatyou love.
(34:45):
And if you want to have a smallgroup, just get bitter.
There'll be nobody.
And I unfortunately have had tobe at the bedside of some people
in their last moments, invitingthem to receive Christ and to
(35:06):
deal with the bitterness theyfeel from all the stuff that was
wrong.
Bitterness is the devil'sgreatest weapon, destroying you,
dad, and destroying your kids.
Let's go on here.
And so that's why we struggle.
So, see, when I learned toreceive my true identity,
(35:29):
remember I said earlier that Iget stuck sometimes when I'm
trying to get my identity on howgood of a dad I am or how bad I
am.
Or I'm trying to get somefeedback from my kids is somehow
going to help me in thoseprocesses.
The problem with all that isthat you're never going to get
(35:49):
enough.
But when we learn to get ourtrue identity of being a beloved
son of the father, if you're agal watching a beloved daughter
of the father, and learning howto listen to him, he'll teach
you how to love your daughtersthe way he is loving you.
(36:16):
It was a profound change in myfathering because the reason I
was struggling as a fatherwasn't the techniques I was
doing.
It was that I myself didn't, Iwasn't clear about who I was.
Or I had some pumped-up identitylike pro-football player or
(36:40):
pastor or something else thatwas my core identity that, you
know, it's very hurtful to myfamily because I made everything
about the church or madeeverything about football.
And yet, daughters, they don't,they they're happy for you if
you've got football or thechurch.
(37:01):
But what they want to know is,Daddy, what do you think about
me?
Am I beautiful?
Am I somebody to be loved?
Will I ever find true love in mylife?
Can I come and talk to youanytime I want to?
Will you pray for me?
Will you not judge me?
(37:23):
Boy, I've learned a lot, haven'tI?
You're probably going, how doeshe learn all that stuff?
And if you've been having endaughters, you've learned some
of those same things.
It's incredibly powerful.
It's incredibly powerful.
See, when the voice of Godthundered over Jesus as he's
(37:44):
being baptized by John theBaptist, and he heard from his
father, this is my son, and Ilove the message version of
this, chosen, marked by my love,delight of my life.
Just imagine you, as a man, as ason, a beloved son of God, or as
(38:09):
a daughter, if you're a gal,watching.
And you heard God the Fatherspeak that over you and name you
in a moment.
Man, I gotta tell you, it'llcompletely change your life.
When your core identity becomessomebody that God loves, you
(38:29):
become a beloved son or beloveddaughter.
A scripture actually talks aboutadoption that he sent his son so
he could adopt us, not only saveus and forgive us from our sin,
but adopt us and add us to hisfamily.
When you have a father likethat, no matter what kind of
dad, you could have a great dador a no dad or a really broken
(38:52):
dad, that God the Father wantsto re-father you in your life.
One of the things that happensas you begin to embrace your own
sonship or daughtership is thatyou won't need to look to your
kids the same way to find outwho you are.
And if you want to break afamily, then make your family
(39:15):
about trying to find out who youare.
I did.
I was an expert at it.
Really hurt my kids.
Had a lot of repentance to do.
God is so good.
I'm so grateful.
See, Tim Keller, he describesthis perfect love of the Father,
(39:38):
Son, and Spirit as a dance oflove.
It's the dance of the Trinity.
And he writes, before the earthwas created, and throughout all
the history and unto eternity,without end, there has been a
waltz of love within theTrinity.
The Father loving the Son, theSon loving the Father, the
Father loving the Holy Spirit.
(39:59):
It's just this incredible thing.
It's a picture of family.
And it's amazing what happenswhen our families begin to look
that way.
And when we can live in thecenter of that dance.
Can you imagine living in thecenter of the dance of the love
(40:19):
of the Father in your life?
unknown (40:21):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (40:22):
Wow.
That's what I wanted.
See, when God said He loves us,our context of what the is of
the way the Father, Son, andHoly Spirit loved each other,
that's what Jesus meant when heprayed in John 17.
(40:43):
Father, I want those that youhave given me to be where I am
and to see my glory, the gloryyou have given me because you
loved me before the creation ofthe world.
When Jesus is talking about theglory of the Father on him, that
glory of the Father on Him wasthe unconditional love of his
(41:04):
Father upon his life.
It's what enabled him to livethe life he did, to suffer the
way he suffered, to go to thecross, to die for our sake and
be raised again in absolutetrust.
We're getting ready for anotheramazing Easter season.
And when he said it is finished,and he finished the work on the
(41:28):
cross, scourged and beaten andsuffered and died.
And now we have a savior.
(41:50):
And in him, you and I get toenter that dance.
See, there's three powerfulways.
I want to tie this together andconclude it that God's love will
energize you as a father andchange the way you father your
daughters.
First, his love is eternal.
(42:11):
So God doesn't love us becausewe do it right.
God loves us because Jesus didit right.
Matter of fact, God has alwaysloved us.
We were created in love, right?
It didn't start when you wereborn and didn't start when you
first did something good to earnit, and said the Father has
always loved you.
(42:31):
He loved you when you were, andhe actually knew you, the
scripture says, He knew thatthat that sperm cell and that
egg and your mom was going tocome together.
And you know when he knew that,the Bible says he knew it before
he created the earth, beforeJesus said, Let there be light,
and there was light, before thecreation of the world, God knew
(42:55):
who you would be, who I wouldbe, and he chose you to love
you.
Man, it's powerful.
I began to think about that andjust the power of that.
And how it's as a dad, you know,I I remember those those early
(43:16):
moments, and I didn't know thekids.
I didn't have that foretellinglike God the Father does.
But I remembered just listeningto that heartbeat on my in my
wife's stomach.
And uh there was a love that Ihad for my oldest son Edward.
(43:39):
I didn't know he would be inEdward, and and then Jessica,
and then Mary, and and thenLucas, and then Joshua, and now
14 grandchildren.
And God knew all their names andknew your name.
He knew what kind of dad youwould have, he would knew what
(44:00):
kind of problems that you wouldface.
When Jeremiah was even ateenager, the voice of God
interrupted, before I formed youin the womb, I knew you.
So when you begin to understandthat God loved you before you
(44:22):
arrived on earth, and that'sthen there's nothing that's
gonna happen in your life thatdoesn't isn't under his gaze and
under his love.
Even when it's hard.
(44:42):
See, there's never been a timein history where you've not been
on the mind of God.
He's always loved you, and withthe same eternal love that's
present between the Father, Son,and the Holy Spirit.
You know what that means?
That means that you can't be amistake, my friend.
(45:06):
Your mom and dad might have justcome together in the last
moment.
Maybe it was on a blind date, ormaybe you know, like James
Robeson, his mom was raped by abunch of football players in
Texas and didn't know who thefather was, and she chose to
(45:28):
have him because she understoodthis verse.
And my son that I carried that Idon't know the father, and it's
such a horrible thing.
God knew this baby before.
He said, Let there be light.
So you must have a purpose.
And James Robison has been andI've gotten to meet him twice
(45:53):
and be around him.
He was just an unbelievable manof God.
One of those heroes of thefaith.
Way he loves his wife, where hefathers and fathers people.
I mean, he's flawed like all ofus, but what would the world be
(46:18):
like if he wouldn't be born?
What would the world be like ifyou wouldn't be born?
You might not think, well, Idon't matter much.
Well, many times we treatourselves the way we think God
sees us.
So if he's been thinking aboutyou before he said, let there be
(46:38):
light, he must have anincredible plan for you.
You know, the second thing isthat his love, because it's
eternal, has designed youperfectly for your destiny and
who God's called you to be.
And by the way, he's designedyour children the same way.
(47:02):
You ever have one of those kidsthat you go?
Where did that one come from?
I have dad's a joke about theirkids, but they're all perfect,
even if you adopt them.
What a powerful thing to adoptchildren.
God's adopted us.
The good, bad, and the sideways.
(47:26):
Bless you, Bill, for yourcomment.
But his love has designed youperfectly.
Let me tell you why that meansthat's so powerful for us.
What would change in your familyif you stopped spending a lot of
(47:48):
your time when you're awakeworking on yourself all the time
and beating yourself up manytimes?
Because when I'm doing that, youknow what comes out of me when
I'm around my kids?
Disdain.
They're never good enough.
(48:10):
You know why?
Because that internal voice inme is never good enough.
What would happen if you beganto receive and connect to God's
love for you that's eternal andknew you way before he said, Let
there be light, and you realizethat his love has designed you
(48:31):
perfectly for the mission youhave, and that you can't be a
mistake.
And the reason why?
Because he created you in love.
You might look funny.
We all look funny.
I mean, my ears is I go, it'slike they're they're not totally
even.
(48:58):
I got sags here and there, but Iwas perfectly made.
And when I stand before theLord, I'll be perfectly wrinkled
on my last day to go be with himand get a new body.
I'm so grateful we get anupgrade.
(49:20):
And the third thing is see, youknow, is the intensity of God's
love towards us is measured theway the Trinity loves one
another.
I love this picture.
It's not by our definitions ofhis love.
The Bible says the Father lovesus, the Son extravagantly, and
(49:44):
he's turned everything over tohim so he could give it away, a
lavish distribution of gift.
You see the picture there.
Jesus received everything, theextravagant love of his father
(50:05):
for himself.
But he didn't just get it so hecould just walk around going,
I'm loved way more than you.
He received that love, whichchanged his capacity to loving
every person the father put inhis way.
And that's an incredible secretof being a good father.
(50:29):
Because it's so easy for us tolook on what they do and the
mistakes they do and the thingsthat we're frustrated with.
But what would happen if you gotfilled up with his love towards
you so that you could take thatand pour that out like water to
(50:50):
a thirsty man in a desert, toyour children that are looking
towards you every night with thesame question?
What does my dad really thinkabout me?
And you filled their cups.
It would change your family, myfriend.
So here's a big question.
We'll tie this together tonight.
(51:12):
What would be different, dad,right now, if you allowed
yourself to be loved by God likethat?
I'm gonna tell you, it willchange your family.
It'll change your family.
It changed mine.
See, that's what began happeningto me.
(51:33):
I when I met the Father, Ialways wanted, my heart started
to change.
And here's the scripture thatties it all together.
And you, being rooted andgrounded in love, may have the
strength to comprehend with allthe saints, with the breadth,
the length, and the depth, theheight and the depth of the love
(51:57):
of God, to know the love ofChrist that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with thefullness of God.
That you may be filled with thefullness of God.
My friend, when you spend yourlife being filled with the love
of God and the fullness of God,you're gonna be a great dad to
(52:20):
your daughters.
And there's a lot of things thatwe're gonna continue to talk
about next week and in the inthe month of April.
But the more you receive, themore you capacity you have to
love.
You want some more of that?
I'm gonna pray for you before weget off.
And see, one of the things thatI I want to uh bring up just to
(52:46):
show you is that I've built a,it's brand new.
We just released it.
It's called the FatherhoodAcademy.
The Fatherhood Academy is builtaround these principles I'm
sharing with you.
And it teaches you how toreceive for yourself all those
things that you need to do.
(53:08):
To not only heal your own storyand your life and your own core
identity to be the man thatGod's called you to be, but it
equips you to be the father yourchildren need you to be.
And guess what?
The husband your wife hasdreamed you to be.
Yes, we do a lot of coaching.
We have coaching involved.
(55:09):
I'm back.
Somehow it froze right when yousaid we're gonna pray.
So, Father, I'm praying rightnow for everyone who's watching,
and somehow the devil didn'tlike that show.
And I pray, Lord, that you wouldopen the door into their hearts
to be the man that you havecalled them to be, and they
(55:31):
would be able to taste the loveof the Father that passes all
understanding.
I thank you, Lord, for theseguys that are watching, those
who got popped off for somereason.
And Lord, I ask you to come andmeet them in Jesus' name.
Bless them, Lord.
And if you're still watching andyou wonder where the heck did Ed
(55:55):
go, I didn't get raptured, butI'm here, and I'm so grateful
you're here with me.
And have a wonderful night.
Lord bless you.
I want to encourage you to signup.
You can go to our website.
And if you go to our website,you can find out about my free
(56:16):
book, the Father You've AlwaysWanted.
Uh, you can also sign up for theFatherhood Academy.
I just highly suggest if youwant to grow and you want some
coaching, we would love it ifyou joined us at the
Fatherhoodacademy.com.
And just your limited timeaccess, you got to join today.
(56:41):
You got to go tothefatherhood.com and it'll be
there for you.
Lord bless you.
Got to go.
Not sure why the internet hereis acting so crazy, but uh Lord
bless you.
We'll be we'll see you nextweek.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (56:59):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (57:14):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's gonna dosomething profound.
He's gonna turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(57:36):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I meet dads daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured to bitterness, and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(57:58):
That's why we're launching anonline community to quit and to
be the fathers that God hascalled them to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood as a sacred calling
rooted in the teachings ofprice.
(58:19):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration that helps themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(58:43):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, andultimately our nation, and
create each child just divisionin the unwavering love and
guidance of a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (59:04):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hopefully future for generations
(59:24):
to come.
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:43):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (01:15):
Hey, good to be with you from Southern California.
Welcome.
Already got some likes comingin.
I'd love to hear where you comefrom.
Today, we're going to talk aboutthose ever-elusive creatures
called girls and daughters andhow to be the best dad you can
(01:37):
be.
And uh and I got to tell youright from the beginning, if
yours truly can learn how tolove my daughters, who are very
strong and got Icelandic blood,there is hope for every man out
there.
Because I didn't tell you, I didnot get much from being a
football player.
(01:58):
Love to hear where you're from.
You can throw some comments out.
Good to see you there, JustinCarlton.
He's a dad and he's got twopowerful girls he's trying to
love there as he's travelingacross the United States.
Matter of fact, give him a shoutout.
(02:18):
He uh goes into churches andcompanies, and he's uh ex-Air
Force, incredibly skilled.
He was actually a policemanthere.
Maybe you're looking forsomething for your church or
your family, and you would likesome self-defense or some
training with firearms, becauseunder this administration, it's
(02:43):
an okay thing to actually ownguns, have bullets, and protect
your family.
So if that's your cup of tea,we'll get uh Justin's info.
I'm sure his wife, who is myassistant, will pop it up there
on the screen so you know how toget a hold of Justin Carlton.
(03:04):
He is a master.
Matter of fact, he took yourstruly on the gun range back in
Montana.
I was there, and I actually shotone target, and the bullet just
about was perfectly through thevery center.
There's a lot of them otherwiseother ways, but anyway, it was
really fun and it gave me a lotof skill doing that.
(03:27):
Okay, guys, back to the men's ofJustin Carlton.
If you want to get a hold ofhim, you can right here's his
number.
If you're looking forself-defense classes for your
family, for your church, forsecurity.
He also does assessments forpeople.
I'm getting nothing out of this.
(03:48):
I'm just doing this because Ilove him and he's really good at
what he does.
So get a hold of Justin at406-940-5360.
Okay, we're gonna get busy.
We're gonna get busy talkingabout help for dads raising
daughters.
So, how are you doing, myfriend?
(04:10):
How are you doing raising yourdaughter?
Well, I got two incredibledaughters.
I'm gonna tell you a little oneof one story of the many that I
have.
And I went to my daughter'sgraduation.
Now you probably can't see inthere, but right in the middle
of all these dark-haired peopleis a blonde.
(04:32):
That is my daughter Jessica.
And when we saw her, she waswaving to me.
And when we finally, you know,made eye contact, she went
absolutely ballistic.
And she's she's screaming, youknow, there's you know, here I
(04:53):
am, Dad.
Daddy, do you see me?
Uh such a powerful thing.
And, you know, she actuallycalled me on her cell phone.
And when I heard that question,that question that every
daughter asks.
When your daughter gets in highschool and she dresses up to go
(05:15):
out, she might not come to youand might not say much to you.
She's looking for your reaction.
Because believe it or not, Dad,first thing I'm going to say to
you is that you are, let merepeat this, and I'm going to go
with a tight shot.
You are the first man in yourdaughter's life.
(05:39):
Matter of fact, you are the mostimportant beginning man.
And the way you learn to fatherher, love her, nurture her, be
affectionate to her will reallyhelp shape the way she sees
herself, even her beauty.
She's already got mom.
Mom takes her out, buys herstuff, they put on the makeup
(06:01):
thing.
I'm not talking about all thatmagic dirt stuff that girls do
and all that stuff.
But how you look at them, howyou love them, how you play with
them, how you're in their storyis incredibly powerful because
their sense of beauty comes fromthe way you look at them.
(06:22):
I got to tell you, yours trulywas terrible at it.
I was terrible at it in thebeginning.
I was like, what?
Am I in trouble?
I uh my my very first beginningtime, you know, being a husband
and a dad with two daughters,and actually had five kids, I
(06:43):
had three more sons.
Boys are a lot more predictable,even though they're sneaky and
they do crazy stuff, you knowwhere they are emotionally.
But daughters are another thing.
And so I've come home and mygoal was I hope I'm not in
trouble.
(07:05):
And my daughters could look atme such a way and I would be
crushed.
The same way with my wife.
How about you?
And it wasn't, and it wasn'tthat I was afraid of them.
I just did not know how to meetthem and nurture them and father
them because I didn't get muchfrom my stepdad.
(07:30):
Matter of fact, on my weddingday, he comes over to me, and
you've probably heard this ifyou follow me at any time, and
he comes over and I'm lookingfor advice.
I'm in the back room, I'mgetting ready to walk out and
get married to Jill.
And he looks at me and he goes,son, I can't tell you much about
(07:53):
girls, but I can tell you twothings.
Number one, they're better seenand not heard.
That was the worst thing youcould say to me.
The worst.
And I know he was trying hisbest, and I know that he was in
a lot of trouble with my mom alot of times.
(08:16):
But it didn't get it didn't giveme much.
And the result was that it it itfray and the other thing, I said
two things.
The other thing he said was, youknow, women are better seen and
not heard.
And then he said, and it's sortof just drama, drama, drama.
(08:37):
And so he, without meaning to,he was conditioning me to
basically say that when a girlis emotional or tender or upset
or dealing with emotional thingsin her life, that it's not okay,
that they need to somehow stopbeing that way so that they
(09:01):
become as safe a place for us asdads to love.
Think about that.
Well, here's the truth it's notabout our daughter being a safe
place for us to love, because bythe way, when you love anybody,
it's not safe because they canreject you.
(09:21):
It's about you feeling so safein the love of God yourself that
you're able to fully embrace andbe present in the life of your
daughter who, and I say this alot, it's a big joke in my
family, because my daughters attimes will live in this estrogen
(09:47):
river, and there are monstersthere waiting to devour any man
that comes their way.
Well, I make fun of that, butI've learned something that that
the beautiful estrogen river ofmy daughter's hearts is an
incredibly powerful place forthem as women.
(10:09):
Because without a woman in yourstory or daughters in your
story, there are places of thelove of God that you might miss
in your own life.
There are tenderness and thingsfor you to learn with your
daughters that can change theway you see yourself.
(10:31):
Because when in listen to mewhen I say this to you, when I
have the heart of my daughtersand I they know I am doing my
best to connect to them and lovethem, they are incredibly
protective of me as her dad.
And now me as her grandpa.
(10:54):
They're like mama bears.
You you mess with my dad or mygrandpa, I went to you in.
(11:18):
And you know, they they spent somuch of their days living in the
laundry room, doing laundry anddoing housework and and all
those things, is that he justdidn't have much equipment from
his dad.
It wasn't that he didn't lovehis girls, he just didn't know
how to show it.
And most of us dads, how much ofa model did your father model to
(11:42):
you about how to love a girl?
And a lot of it is wasconditioned into us by the way
he dated your mom.
And if he's dating mom andloving her and it's
affectionate, it gives us amodel as a man that it's okay.
(12:03):
It's it might not be safeemotionally.
One guy once said, I said, sotell me what the guy's a he's a
he's a great coach of people.
And I asked him, so what's yoursecret of loving your wife?
And he said, Well, I I just whatI do is I when I go to bed at
(12:26):
night, I forget the woman I fellasleep with and how she was that
day, and I love the one thatwakes up the next day, no matter
who she is.
She might wake up and just be ina completely different mood.
And and it's like it, they'rejust, and I said, so it's
impossible to figure out orpredict them.
(12:48):
That's right, because we're nowomen, we're men.
And the best thing for us to dois to learn to love and honor,
etc.
So, how do you get this placewhere you get secure enough?
So I'm going to talk to youabout tonight, where you get
secure enough in the love of theFather for you, the love of God
(13:09):
for you, where your coreidentity is so secure in who you
are, that you can step towardsthat daughter that loves you or
not.
Maybe you have a stepdaughter inyour story, or a wife, or an
ex-wife in your life, and you'venever been good with girls.
(13:29):
I'm going to share with you justthree things that revolutionize
the way I've learned to be okayaround girls.
Because here's the deal (13:41):
if you're not clear about who God
has called you to be andlearning how to receive from
Him, you'll try to get youridentity all the time from
everything you do.
And if you try to get youridentity from the girls in your
life, you're going to be in awhole lot of trouble.
(14:06):
And you guys know this, okay?
You absolutely know this.
How many times has your daughterjust looked at you funny and
crushed you?
Or your wife looks at you acertain way, and you know, oh
boy, I'm in trouble.
They have an amazing abilitybecause they can uh connect with
(14:27):
their emotions, they can collectintellectually, they can uh
connect in in the way they lookand everything, and and they
have this gift from God that wereally need in our lives.
And so, how do we build anidentity that in a real way is
(14:48):
bulletproof to the wiles of awoman?
And I'm not saying it doesn'thurt, I'm not saying that
they're not gonna hit yousometimes, and you're gonna go,
what the heck just happened?
But I I I will tell you, I'veI've learned a couple things
about the daughters of my story,and the thing that's so profound
(15:11):
to me is I have daughters,literally spiritual daughters,
all over the world, that call mePapa.
I mean, that's just incrediblyamazing to me.
That you know, this thisfootball player that used to
(15:31):
grab and hold people to keepthem from sock and sacking a
quarterback would know how tolove girls, or at least have
some steps with them and betender enough.
And by the way, I I wouldn't usethe word no, I'm learning over
and over again.
If you're with me, give me ahigh five.
(15:52):
Because that is totally thetruth.
Okay, so let's get into the nextslide here.
And so when my daughter, and Iand I share with you, if you're
just jumping on, was in UCLA,calls me on the phone, and and
when she said, Daddy, do you seeme?
When I when I heard thatquestion, I was there with my
(16:14):
wife, I realized that's thequestion that every daughter
asks.
And uh Jill and I, we justresponded by jumping down like
crazy fans when my daughter, youknow, did that.
And I'll never forget the lookthat she had on her face when we
(16:36):
were acting like crazy people.
And it's daddy, do you see me?
And I and remember when I was ayoung dad, and from my office,
uh I have a big window in myoffice, and in the center of our
(16:56):
house here, there's an atrium asa garden.
And my daughters were many, manyyears ago when they were little,
were in there dancing and tryingto get my attention, and we're
putting on all of their Disneycostumes, hats, streamers, and
(17:16):
they were trying to get myattention, and they were singing
and dancing and playing in frontof my window.
And I was in here trying tostudy for something, might have
been a sermon, might have beenwhat guys do when you're
overwhelmed and your daughtersare driving you crazy.
You're just hiding doingsomething, watching TV, etc.,
(17:42):
because that's a safe place.
Job's in my safe place, to behonest.
And they're dancing and jumpingup and down, and I'm uh I'm
looking at them and I'm just andI just watched this movie with
Mel Gibson called Well Women,What What Women Want.
(18:08):
And I watched the movie hopingthat I would get a key.
And the only thing I learned isthat if you know Mel Gibson is
playing this dad who has noclue, he's he electric himself
when the hairdryer falls in thebathtub and somehow shocks him
because he's trying to get moreconnected with his daughter,
who's a teenager and wants to goto the dance and get a dress and
(18:31):
some shoes and have a boyfriendand all this, and he's just
going crazy.
What do I do?
And somehow, in shockinghimself, his mind was opened up
and he was able to hear whatwomen think.
It was a hysterical movie.
Wouldn't that be a great gift?
(18:52):
And and so I wouldn't even, Ieven thought, gosh, I wish that
worked.
I wouldn't be in trouble somuch.
And so I'm thinking about thatmovie.
I'm watching my daughtersjumping up and down, and I asked
God, I was just sitting there, Isaid, God, what do women want?
You ever asked that question?
What do women want?
(19:14):
And I just, you know, rightthen, the Lord just kind of
poured something into me becausehe had been dealing with my own
identity issues.
And I just had an incredibleencounter with him uh months
earlier about my own story,losing my dad, and how God loves
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fathering us and healing thosethings in our lives as men that
our dads maybe broke or weren'tthere to help us with.
And this is what he said to me.
And when I say this, I'm notsaying there was an audible
voice and smoke came in theroom, but there was his internal
(19:57):
voice that's not Ed, that spoke,and I recognize him when he
speaks because of filling myheart with God's word.
If you want to learn how to hearGod in your life internally, and
there are times when he speaksaudibly to people, I mean,
that's not something thathappens to me.
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It's very, very seldom, and uh Iwouldn't say audible, it's it's
internal, but it makes yourbones shake.
Is that the more you read God'sword, and the more you spend
time, just even 15, 20, 30minutes, listen to it, the more
you fill your heart with hisword, the more it conditions you
(20:40):
to hearing from him.
And many times he'll just bringa scripture up, and that will be
that will be just thisdemarcation point to a whole new
beginning.
More on that in the future.
We talk about hearing the voiceof the Lord.
And so I'm there, and thatinternal voice, it hits me, and
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he he this is what I heard himsay, it's rattled inside my
heart.
He said, He says, if you learnto turn your heart towards me,
in other words, if if you youknow will turn your heart to me,
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I'll help you become the fatheryou've always wanted to be.
And that was just so pivotal forme.
And then looking, you know,asking that question, what do my
daughters want?
You know, in this in this momentwith him, he just is downloading
(21:48):
to me was that he said this iswhat he said internally.
Inside of every little girl whenshe's born, she's born with a
question in her heart Daddy, doyou see me?
Am I beautiful?
Am I someone to be loved?
And then he shared somethingthat rocked my world.
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And if you answer that questionand become a present, loving dad
in your story, you will keep thepretenders away from your
daughters, which solves my otherthing of you know, cleaning my
shotgun every time a young mancomes around.
(22:34):
But that my daughters had thisquestion in them Daddy, do you
see me?
Am I someone to be loved?
Your wife had that question.
That's why she comes up with herher makeup and her outfits, she
wants your comments, and howpowerful that is when you're
(22:57):
close enough uh to them and andand hearing from the Lord is
that you're the one who's namingher beautiful.
That's incredibly powerful.
Because if you if you're waitingfor a guy online or in social
media to do with your daughters,he's ultimately sure gonna name
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them beautiful, but requireprobably her body in exchange.
I have this plus size gal get ahold of me.
She saw a video I did on TikTokand Instagram, and it was all
(23:42):
Daddy Do You See Me?
And matter of fact, it'ssomewhere around 1.5 million
views right now.
And one of the gals who watchit, this this plus size uh
model, you know, had a you know,pretty I went to her channel
because she said, I I've beenweeping every day, I can't stop
(24:04):
thinking about that question.
Because all I ever wanted was mydad to look at me one time and
love me.
But he always put me down, hewas never in my life, and then
she confessed, she says, I thinkI've spent my whole life doing
(24:29):
what I'm doing with my body onthe camera and everything else
to feel beautiful, and so Iresponded right away and back
and forth with her numbers oftimes, and she said, I would you
(24:50):
be a dad in my story?
I can't believe of the commentsto have a man bless me, a father
bless me, because there is noother person in the whole world
(25:11):
other than you, dad, that hasthe authority and the place to
speak life into your children,then you do, and when the enemy
gets us sideways with him, withthe Lord, he's trying to get you
away from your kids so that theycan fall victim to his false
(25:39):
identity agenda.
I mean, we've just gone througha horrible season in in our
world, uh, and with people who Ihave come tremendous compassion
for people that are confusedabout who they are and try to
get their identity from theirsexual appetites.
(26:01):
And in further review of them,there was one missing factor in
in I won't say how high becauseI I don't want to overstate it,
but it's well over 90% of thepeople that I run into either
(26:22):
had a monster dad or no father,or completely distracted father.
And that identity piece theynever got.
And so you want to secure yourdaughter into a life where she
(26:43):
really understands who she is,and she becomes a powerful
force.
Well, guess who the person iswho starts that journey?
You need to the dad who helpsher discover her identity in
Christ, and her mom who modelsto her what a powerful woman
(27:05):
looks like.
And when you have those twothings together, you you see you
have powerful.
My my daughters are powerful.
I have my part, but my wife isamazing in the way she has
mothered them and been in herlife and the model she's been as
a missionary and all the thingsshe's done.
(27:27):
She's been a great, great motherand now amazing grandma.
And we're getting ready for abig trip to go see our grannies
in Switzerland.
Oh, can't wait.
So back to what we're talkingabout.
And so that's the question,Daddy.
(27:47):
Do you see me?
So, how good have you beendealing with that?
Now, if you want to see mydaughters, here's me walking
Jessica down the aisle, and Iget to turn around and do the
ceremony.
Is that the coolest?
You know, I got the, you know,you know, we stand there and had
a friend of mine say, Who givesJessica to be married to Greg?
(28:09):
And I said, her mother and I do,and then I walked around and did
the service.
And here's me and Mary uh havinga father-daughter dance at her
wedding, and George Andrew'sbackyard, George and Heidi, who
are part of our family.
Heidi is Jill's sister.
(28:30):
And uh I'm there twirling aroundand just having a blast with my
Mary.
So sweet.
And to just that look in myface, isn't just the wedding.
The look in my face is that Igot to be a father to them that
I never saw my dad be with mysisters.
(28:52):
So why do we struggle so muchwith the girls in our life?
Have you ever thought aboutthat?
Or if we look back at that oldmovie, why can't a woman be more
like a man?
Right?
Predictable.
We think, well, that would begreat.
No, we get bored with them.
They are constantly.
And I've learned two things.
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Number one, when I'm madefathering about me, I was really
good at hurting my daughters.
It's like I had my house rules,I had the McLeod rules.
Are you like that as a dad?
And to be in my home, you got todo this, and it's what it looks
like.
And so it wasn't, I wasn'tcommunicating and getting
(29:36):
feedback.
I was just sort of, you know,laying out the plan for success.
And the problem is, is andhere's something that you you
already know this that yourchildren will follow the rules
that they believe in.
Now they might act right aroundyou in the home, but when they
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get away from you, They're goingto live out what they truly
believe.
And the secret of being a gooddad is helping be a part of
helping them discover greatthings from God about who
they're supposed to be and whatthey're supposed to do.
But if we're just kind offraming it, this is the way it
is, well, guess what we do?
(30:19):
We just blow them out.
And the second thing I wasdoing, I was trying to prove
myself as a good father.
I was always really good atalways being in trouble with my
daughters.
Because I would, you know, I wastrying to just, you know, I see,
and this is where you get stuck,guys, is when you're trying to
(30:42):
be a good father, say you readyou just read a book or you get
an idea and you kind of framewhat good is like, and you don't
ever involve your children inthe design of their life.
Now, what I mean by that is thatwe can only lead them to the
level that we have permissionfrom them.
(31:04):
Now, when they're little, wecan't say things like, well, if
you don't eat your spinach, thenyou're not going to get dessert,
or you're going to go to bed.
I mean, we can frame that in,and they will obey it for a
while.
But you do that to a teenager,what does she do?
And how many times have youblown your kids out of the house
because they weren't followingthe rules, or they were
(31:27):
disobeying God, or they weren'tliving up to scripture, or they
weren't going to church, or andso somehow you just separated,
or they showed you disrespect.
(31:48):
It wasn't about them wantingjust to disrespect me.
They were hurt, and I didn'tknow it.
And when I began to learn to askthem about that hurt, it began
to heal.
One of those questions that thatthat God has used so many times
with my own children and in ourcoaching ministry that we have
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with dads and moms and families.
So I remember, you know, askingthis question.
And this, I wish I could say Ioriginated this.
I think it just came from theLord.
And here's the question.
When I see that my children arelike this with me, when they are
pushing back, it's because I'veheard them and I've not listened
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to them.
Or I'm not talking to them ortalking at them.
And so my question is you know,I can tell that you're really
hurt.
Is there something that I didthat I need to ask for
forgiveness for?
Oh, you asked that question.
(32:57):
It might take your kids a whileif you're not used to asking
that question, but who in yourfamily is the one that's
modeling what it looks like toheal hurt by asking for
forgiveness?
Most homes don't ever do that.
We talk about hurt, we handleit.
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I mean, with all these crazyelections, our children have
been watching us dealing withwho we're for, what party we
are, how we treat other peoplethat are different than us.
I mean, there's so muchbitterness that's going around.
What would happen if forgivenessbegan to permeate all those
relationships?
Even families that have beenseparated because they either
(33:41):
love or hate Donald Trump, ourpresident.
Imagine the healing that Godwants to bring.
Because I think it's thestupidest thing in the world to
draw a line in the sand becausewe have political differences.
That's the dumbest thing I'veever heard.
Whoever would think that thatwould be another thing the devil
(34:03):
would use to destroy yourfamily.
And by the way, if you're mad atsomebody for voting for Trump or
vice versa, you need to forgivethem and go to them and say, you
know, I want a betterrelationship.
And I can tell this politicalstuff is just not the sideways.
We need to talk.
We're family.
(34:24):
Because guess what?
Donald Trump's not going to beat your bedside or Kamala
Harris, if she was your choicefor president, they're not going
to be there holding your handwhen you slip into glory.
It's going to be your children.
It's going to be your wife.
It's going to be the people thatyou love.
(34:45):
And if you want to have a smallgroup, just get bitter.
There'll be nobody.
And I unfortunately have had tobe at the bedside of some people
in their last moments, invitingthem to receive Christ and to
(35:06):
deal with the bitterness theyfeel from all the stuff that was
wrong.
Bitterness is the devil'sgreatest weapon, destroying you,
dad, and destroying your kids.
Let's go on here.
And so that's why we struggle.
So, see, when I learned toreceive my true identity,
(35:29):
remember I said earlier that Iget stuck sometimes when I'm
trying to get my identity on howgood of a dad I am or how bad I
am.
Or I'm trying to get somefeedback from my kids is somehow
going to help me in thoseprocesses.
The problem with all that isthat you're never going to get
(35:49):
enough.
But when we learn to get ourtrue identity of being a beloved
son of the father, if you're agal watching a beloved daughter
of the father, and learning howto listen to him, he'll teach
you how to love your daughtersthe way he is loving you.
(36:16):
It was a profound change in myfathering because the reason I
was struggling as a fatherwasn't the techniques I was
doing.
It was that I myself didn't, Iwasn't clear about who I was.
Or I had some pumped-up identitylike pro-football player or
(36:40):
pastor or something else thatwas my core identity that, you
know, it's very hurtful to myfamily because I made everything
about the church or madeeverything about football.
And yet, daughters, they don't,they they're happy for you if
you've got football or thechurch.
(37:01):
But what they want to know is,Daddy, what do you think about
me?
Am I beautiful?
Am I somebody to be loved?
Will I ever find true love in mylife?
Can I come and talk to youanytime I want to?
Will you pray for me?
Will you not judge me?
(37:23):
Boy, I've learned a lot, haven'tI?
You're probably going, how doeshe learn all that stuff?
And if you've been having endaughters, you've learned some
of those same things.
It's incredibly powerful.
It's incredibly powerful.
See, when the voice of Godthundered over Jesus as he's
(37:44):
being baptized by John theBaptist, and he heard from his
father, this is my son, and Ilove the message version of
this, chosen, marked by my love,delight of my life.
Just imagine you, as a man, as ason, a beloved son of God, or as
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a daughter, if you're a gal,watching.
And you heard God the Fatherspeak that over you and name you
in a moment.
Man, I gotta tell you, it'llcompletely change your life.
When your core identity becomessomebody that God loves, you
(38:29):
become a beloved son or beloveddaughter.
A scripture actually talks aboutadoption that he sent his son so
he could adopt us, not only saveus and forgive us from our sin,
but adopt us and add us to hisfamily.
When you have a father likethat, no matter what kind of
dad, you could have a great dador a no dad or a really broken
(38:52):
dad, that God the Father wantsto re-father you in your life.
One of the things that happensas you begin to embrace your own
sonship or daughtership is thatyou won't need to look to your
kids the same way to find outwho you are.
And if you want to break afamily, then make your family
(39:15):
about trying to find out who youare.
I did.
I was an expert at it.
Really hurt my kids.
Had a lot of repentance to do.
God is so good.
I'm so grateful.
See, Tim Keller, he describesthis perfect love of the Father,
(39:38):
Son, and Spirit as a dance oflove.
It's the dance of the Trinity.
And he writes, before the earthwas created, and throughout all
the history and unto eternity,without end, there has been a
waltz of love within theTrinity.
The Father loving the Son, theSon loving the Father, the
Father loving the Holy Spirit.
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It's just this incredible thing.
It's a picture of family.
And it's amazing what happenswhen our families begin to look
that way.
And when we can live in thecenter of that dance.
Can you imagine living in thecenter of the dance of the love
(40:19):
of the Father in your life?
unknown (40:21):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (40:22):
Wow.
That's what I wanted.
See, when God said He loves us,our context of what the is of
the way the Father, Son, andHoly Spirit loved each other,
that's what Jesus meant when heprayed in John 17.
(40:43):
Father, I want those that youhave given me to be where I am
and to see my glory, the gloryyou have given me because you
loved me before the creation ofthe world.
When Jesus is talking about theglory of the Father on him, that
glory of the Father on Him wasthe unconditional love of his
(41:04):
Father upon his life.
It's what enabled him to livethe life he did, to suffer the
way he suffered, to go to thecross, to die for our sake and
be raised again in absolutetrust.
We're getting ready for anotheramazing Easter season.
And when he said it is finished,and he finished the work on the
(41:28):
cross, scourged and beaten andsuffered and died.
And now we have a savior.
(41:50):
And in him, you and I get toenter that dance.
See, there's three powerfulways.
I want to tie this together andconclude it that God's love will
energize you as a father andchange the way you father your
daughters.
First, his love is eternal.
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So God doesn't love us becausewe do it right.
God loves us because Jesus didit right.
Matter of fact, God has alwaysloved us.
We were created in love, right?
It didn't start when you wereborn and didn't start when you
first did something good to earnit, and said the Father has
always loved you.
(42:31):
He loved you when you were, andhe actually knew you, the
scripture says, He knew thatthat that sperm cell and that
egg and your mom was going tocome together.
And you know when he knew that,the Bible says he knew it before
he created the earth, beforeJesus said, Let there be light,
and there was light, before thecreation of the world, God knew
(42:55):
who you would be, who I wouldbe, and he chose you to love
you.
Man, it's powerful.
I began to think about that andjust the power of that.
And how it's as a dad, you know,I I remember those those early
(43:16):
moments, and I didn't know thekids.
I didn't have that foretellinglike God the Father does.
But I remembered just listeningto that heartbeat on my in my
wife's stomach.
And uh there was a love that Ihad for my oldest son Edward.
(43:39):
I didn't know he would be inEdward, and and then Jessica,
and then Mary, and and thenLucas, and then Joshua, and now
14 grandchildren.
And God knew all their names andknew your name.
He knew what kind of dad youwould have, he would knew what
(44:00):
kind of problems that you wouldface.
When Jeremiah was even ateenager, the voice of God
interrupted, before I formed youin the womb, I knew you.
So when you begin to understandthat God loved you before you
(44:22):
arrived on earth, and that'sthen there's nothing that's
gonna happen in your life thatdoesn't isn't under his gaze and
under his love.
Even when it's hard.
(44:42):
See, there's never been a timein history where you've not been
on the mind of God.
He's always loved you, and withthe same eternal love that's
present between the Father, Son,and the Holy Spirit.
You know what that means?
That means that you can't be amistake, my friend.
(45:06):
Your mom and dad might have justcome together in the last
moment.
Maybe it was on a blind date, ormaybe you know, like James
Robeson, his mom was raped by abunch of football players in
Texas and didn't know who thefather was, and she chose to
(45:28):
have him because she understoodthis verse.
And my son that I carried that Idon't know the father, and it's
such a horrible thing.
God knew this baby before.
He said, Let there be light.
So you must have a purpose.
And James Robison has been andI've gotten to meet him twice
(45:53):
and be around him.
He was just an unbelievable manof God.
One of those heroes of thefaith.
Way he loves his wife, where hefathers and fathers people.
I mean, he's flawed like all ofus, but what would the world be
(46:18):
like if he wouldn't be born?
What would the world be like ifyou wouldn't be born?
You might not think, well, Idon't matter much.
Well, many times we treatourselves the way we think God
sees us.
So if he's been thinking aboutyou before he said, let there be
(46:38):
light, he must have anincredible plan for you.
You know, the second thing isthat his love, because it's
eternal, has designed youperfectly for your destiny and
who God's called you to be.
And by the way, he's designedyour children the same way.
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You ever have one of those kidsthat you go?
Where did that one come from?
I have dad's a joke about theirkids, but they're all perfect,
even if you adopt them.
What a powerful thing to adoptchildren.
God's adopted us.
The good, bad, and the sideways.
(47:26):
Bless you, Bill, for yourcomment.
But his love has designed youperfectly.
Let me tell you why that meansthat's so powerful for us.
What would change in your familyif you stopped spending a lot of
(47:48):
your time when you're awakeworking on yourself all the time
and beating yourself up manytimes?
Because when I'm doing that, youknow what comes out of me when
I'm around my kids?
Disdain.
They're never good enough.
(48:10):
You know why?
Because that internal voice inme is never good enough.
What would happen if you beganto receive and connect to God's
love for you that's eternal andknew you way before he said, Let
there be light, and you realizethat his love has designed you
(48:31):
perfectly for the mission youhave, and that you can't be a
mistake.
And the reason why?
Because he created you in love.
You might look funny.
We all look funny.
I mean, my ears is I go, it'slike they're they're not totally
even.
(48:58):
I got sags here and there, but Iwas perfectly made.
And when I stand before theLord, I'll be perfectly wrinkled
on my last day to go be with himand get a new body.
I'm so grateful we get anupgrade.
(49:20):
And the third thing is see, youknow, is the intensity of God's
love towards us is measured theway the Trinity loves one
another.
I love this picture.
It's not by our definitions ofhis love.
The Bible says the Father lovesus, the Son extravagantly, and
(49:44):
he's turned everything over tohim so he could give it away, a
lavish distribution of gift.
You see the picture there.
Jesus received everything, theextravagant love of his father
(50:05):
for himself.
But he didn't just get it so hecould just walk around going,
I'm loved way more than you.
He received that love, whichchanged his capacity to loving
every person the father put inhis way.
And that's an incredible secretof being a good father.
(50:29):
Because it's so easy for us tolook on what they do and the
mistakes they do and the thingsthat we're frustrated with.
But what would happen if you gotfilled up with his love towards
you so that you could take thatand pour that out like water to
(50:50):
a thirsty man in a desert, toyour children that are looking
towards you every night with thesame question?
What does my dad really thinkabout me?
And you filled their cups.
It would change your family, myfriend.
So here's a big question.
We'll tie this together tonight.
(51:12):
What would be different, dad,right now, if you allowed
yourself to be loved by God likethat?
I'm gonna tell you, it willchange your family.
It'll change your family.
It changed mine.
See, that's what began happeningto me.
(51:33):
I when I met the Father, Ialways wanted, my heart started
to change.
And here's the scripture thatties it all together.
And you, being rooted andgrounded in love, may have the
strength to comprehend with allthe saints, with the breadth,
the length, and the depth, theheight and the depth of the love
(51:57):
of God, to know the love ofChrist that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with thefullness of God.
That you may be filled with thefullness of God.
My friend, when you spend yourlife being filled with the love
of God and the fullness of God,you're gonna be a great dad to
(52:20):
your daughters.
And there's a lot of things thatwe're gonna continue to talk
about next week and in the inthe month of April.
But the more you receive, themore you capacity you have to
love.
You want some more of that?
I'm gonna pray for you before weget off.
And see, one of the things thatI I want to uh bring up just to
(52:46):
show you is that I've built a,it's brand new.
We just released it.
It's called the FatherhoodAcademy.
The Fatherhood Academy is builtaround these principles I'm
sharing with you.
And it teaches you how toreceive for yourself all those
things that you need to do.
(53:08):
To not only heal your own storyand your life and your own core
identity to be the man thatGod's called you to be, but it
equips you to be the father yourchildren need you to be.
And guess what?
The husband your wife hasdreamed you to be.
Yes, we do a lot of coaching.
We have coaching involved.
(55:09):
I'm back.
Somehow it froze right when yousaid we're gonna pray.
So, Father, I'm praying rightnow for everyone who's watching,
and somehow the devil didn'tlike that show.
And I pray, Lord, that you wouldopen the door into their hearts
to be the man that you havecalled them to be, and they
(55:31):
would be able to taste the loveof the Father that passes all
understanding.
I thank you, Lord, for theseguys that are watching, those
who got popped off for somereason.
And Lord, I ask you to come andmeet them in Jesus' name.
Bless them, Lord.
And if you're still watching andyou wonder where the heck did Ed
(55:55):
go, I didn't get raptured, butI'm here, and I'm so grateful
you're here with me.
And have a wonderful night.
Lord bless you.
I want to encourage you to signup.
You can go to our website.
And if you go to our website,you can find out about my free
(56:16):
book, the Father You've AlwaysWanted.
Uh, you can also sign up for theFatherhood Academy.
I just highly suggest if youwant to grow and you want some
coaching, we would love it ifyou joined us at the
Fatherhoodacademy.com.
And just your limited timeaccess, you got to join today.
(56:41):
You got to go tothefatherhood.com and it'll be
there for you.
Lord bless you.
Got to go.
Not sure why the internet hereis acting so crazy, but uh Lord
bless you.
We'll be we'll see you nextweek.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (56:59):
Dear friends, imagine a world where every
father feels equipped to leadwith faith, love, and purpose.
A world where families thriveand communities grow stronger
because of devoted,Christ-centered fathers.
SPEAKER_01 (57:14):
You know, beloved, that is the vision that God's
put in my heart for every singlefamily.
You know, he is on the move, Ibelieve.
He promises in Malachi thatbefore the great and coming day
of the Lord, he's gonna dosomething profound.
He's gonna turn the hearts offathers back towards their
(57:36):
children.
So the hearts of their childrenwill turn back to their father.
That's what God is doing.
I meet dads daily who want tolearn to be better fathers.
Yet many have never been shownhow.
Too many families are beingfractured to bitterness, and
with parents and grandparentseven being canceled.
(57:58):
That's why we're launching anonline community to quit and to
be the fathers that God hascalled them to be.
It's more than a program, it's apart of a movement that God is
already doing to reshapefatherhood as a sacred calling
rooted in the teachings ofprice.
(58:19):
And we're calling this theFatherhood Academy, where men
will embark on a journey ofhealing and spiritual
restoration that helps themtransform their family
relationship.
And to make this vision areality, would you consider
partnering with us financiallyas we continue to reach and
(58:43):
disciple every man, dad, andgrandpa that comes our way?
Your donation will help create aripple across the neighborhoods,
communities, you know, andultimately our nation, and
create each child just divisionin the unwavering love and
guidance of a devoted dad.
SPEAKER_00 (59:04):
Will you partner with us?
Your gift, whether a one-timedonation or ongoing monthly
support, will help to transformlives.
Together, we can equip fathersand grandfathers to lead with
faith and create a brighter,hopefully future for generations
(59:24):
to come.
Click the link to donate today.
Thank you for believing in thismission and joining us on this
transformative journey.
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