November 19, 2024 • 57 mins
Pastor Ed challenges fathers to examine what voice they're listening to when parenting their children and how this shapes their fatherhood journey. He shares a personal revelation that transformed his approach to fathering—learning to hear God's loving voice rather than repeating patterns from his own upbringing.
• Breaking cycles of negative parenting requires hearing a different voice
• Our internal dialogue with ourselves often mirrors how we speak to our children
• The parable of the "running father" illustrates God's heart toward His children
• Both sons in the prodigal story misunderstood their father's heart
• How we receive forgiveness determines how we extend it to our children
• Celebrating repentance rather than making children "pay" for mistakes
• Learning to model God's immediate restoration rather than prolonged punishment
• Teaching children through showing, not just telling or shaming
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (07:31):
Here we go.
How's that?
How's that?
I see.
Is that me?
Do you hear me there?
Okay, I think we're back.
So we I don't know how in theworld happened, but okay, we're
(07:53):
back.
Okay, there's a little echothere.
Okay, so we're back.
If you are watching my mouthmove and nothing coming out, I'm
gonna start all over.
How many of you in your lifemade a promise as a dad that you
wouldn't do some of the samehurtful things that was done to
you?
Anyone?
Raise your hands.
(08:15):
Well, that was my story.
And my son Edward did somethingthat was really, you know,
really made me mad.
And I went in the room there andjust kind of nuked him.
And the title of our messagetoday is What Father Are You
Listening to?
And the reason I have that titleis that you know there are times
(08:37):
when we're kind of operatingjust from the things that we've
learned to receive from our owndads.
And in some of thoseinteractions, they can be really
broken things.
And then there's thoseinteractions when we learn how
to hear from God the Father inour life, that can change
everything.
And so I'm I was one of thosezealous dads who was more about
(09:04):
the performance of my kids inthose days than I was about
learning how to love them andsupport them.
I loved them, but I the onlymodel fathering that I had was
to push my kids to becomebetter, better, better, better.
Anyone else get there in theirlife?
Well, that was me.
And so I we had one of thosedays where my son did something,
(09:28):
it made me mad, and I just toreinto him in the other room.
And I came back in my studyhere, and I was really disgusted
with myself.
How many can relate?
How many of you done some thingswhere you you said things that
were really hurtful and and youreally hurt your kids?
(09:51):
And I was I was really disgustedwith myself and came in here to
try to figure out how I could dosomething different.
And so I went to the Lord and Ijust and I just you know I just
(10:12):
confessed.
I said, God, I mean, I'm I'mbroken.
Matter of fact, David, I wrotethese words down to share with
you uh from my book, the TheFather You've Always Wanted,
which we're we're going throughand reading together, you know,
on these times on Tuesday night.
And we're reading the same bookin a different place with gals
(10:35):
on Thursday at 12 o'clock.
And and so anyway, I asked God,God, why did I do that?
You know that I love my son withall my heart.
I know there's a lot of you wholove your kids, and you you wish
you could you could take some ofthose things back.
(10:56):
Tears formed in my eyes as thepresence of the Lord filled my
room, and and then the lovingvoice of the Father spoke to me
and said, and boy, it justnailed me and blew me away.
He said, You you spoke that waybecause it's the same way you
speak to yourself when you'rewrong.
(11:20):
Boy, that was just so true.
And he went on and said, See,Ed, you've learned to hear my
voice through the broken voiceof your stepfather to you when
he was angry.
But that's now not the way Ispeak.
(11:41):
When you learn to hear thevoice, the father's voice over
you, my loving voice, it willmake you the kind of father who
makes a difference.
And beloved men, my whole worldgot rocked.
You know, I began to understandin those moments, when you have
(12:04):
those moments with God, it'sthat have you ever had that
moment where he reveals to youthat you've made so much of your
story in your life just aboutyou, about you arriving, about
you being a man, or you being afather or a dad, or maybe your
(12:27):
stepdad or a stepfather.
You get with your kids, you'retrying to make those perfect
moments with them, and it justit just goes bad.
Because one of the principlesthat I learned that you know,
one of the ways that we changeas men and fathers towards our
children is when we learn tolisten to the right father.
(12:50):
Because there are things thatyour dad did that were good
things, and there's no totallyevil father, though there's
probably some you might name andput on the list because our dads
are all broken because a lot oftheir fathers didn't know how to
be in their stories, buteverything's redeemable,
everything can everything can befixed.
(13:12):
I I can tell you, I'veministered to men for you know
30 some years all over theworld, and I've I've watched
some of the most broken men geta brand new beginning.
And it wasn't just that theywere forgiven, learned to
receive God's forgiveness forthe broken way, it's that they
(13:35):
learned how to hear God's voice,the way he speaks through
scripture, the way he spoke tohis son Jesus.
And when that happens in yourlife, it transforms you as a
man, or if you're a galwatching, it transforms you in
the way you use your voice tospeak to your children.
(13:59):
And I got to tell you, is thatit's one of the most powerful
and transformative things thatcan happen to you in your life
is when you learn how to hearthe voice of the Father through
the Word of God, the way Jesusdid.
And in those days when He speaksto you, that that voice, and I'm
(14:21):
not talking about an audiblevoice, as much as this internal
revelation of his word to you.
And it just might as well beaudible, but it hits you in such
a profound way that it changesyou forever.
When he spoke that that line tome, you know, when you learn to
(14:44):
hear the voice of the father'svoice over you, my loving voice,
it would make you kind of fathermake the difference.
He gave me incredible hope thatI I didn't have to stay broken.
Because I I wanted to hear myfather's voice.
I never got to hear my dad'svoice.
(15:04):
My father was killed in action.
I heard my stepfather's voice,and there were some great
affirming times, and we had somegreat times as a kid.
But uh on the parenting side ofthe coin, he's he struggled for
a few years and in the midst ofthat.
But he, you know, he was heroicin that he he took on the role
(15:25):
of being my my stepdad, but henever treated me like a stepdad,
he treated me like a father, andhe gave he gave me all that he
had.
As a matter of fact, your dads,for the most part, have given
you all that they have.
The problem is that many of ushave been hurt by the way we've
(15:45):
been fathered, or wemisunderstand, and and then we
we end up you know being in thatplace where we break that
promise of never treating ourkids in a bad way, and we do the
very same things.
anybody ever do that?
And I'd love to hear from you inthe chat or your comments or
(16:06):
questions that you might have onone of the social media
platforms, and we'd love toanswer those today.
And so, how does that God changethat internal voice?
And so, what I want to do withyou is it I want to take you
through a story, one of myfavorite stories in the Bible,
(16:28):
and it's it's known as the prothe the parable of the prodigal
son, it was something that Jesustaught.
I've renamed it, which I thinkis a more the I think is a
better description of the story,because the names of the stories
aren't actually scripture,they're the ones the editors put
(16:49):
in.
I I call this the the parable ofthe running father.
And it's in Luke 15, it says, hesaid, There was a man who had
two sons, and the younger ofthem said to his father, Father,
give me the inheritance ofproperty that is coming to me.
(17:12):
You know, it's uh which what'sso shocking about this story,
and to the ears of the peoplethat were were listening to
this, is that for a son to cometo you before you die and say,
give me my inheritance early.
He's basically saying, Ibasically want you dead to me.
(17:34):
I I don't want you in my life, Ijust want the money, I just want
the inheritance.
That's all I want.
I mean, it's I mean, we havethese battles today with
inheritance and with people, andand their their only identity
that they have because of theway their fathers dealt with
(17:55):
them is the money from the trustor the money from the
inheritance.
And the kids measure their worthbased on how much money they
get.
And so this taps right into allthose things, and you can
imagine having one of yourchildren come into you and
saying, Dad, I wish you weredead.
(18:17):
I want my inheritance early.
And so the father he divided uphis property between them, and
not many days later, the youngerson gathered all he had, took on
a journey to a far country, andthere he squandered his property
in reckless living.
(18:38):
And when he had spent alleverything, a severe famine
arose in that country andenterbine.
You know, people think, well, ifI can just win the lottery, then
boy, I can change my life.
I mean, you know, they did a uha research paper years ago about
(19:03):
the 71 original lottery winnersin the state of California,
where they were 10 years afterthey won the lottery.
And as no surprise, the majorityof them, and I I probably have
the statistics just a littleoff, but it was more than 90% of
(19:25):
them were back in the samefinancial state they were before
they won all the money.
Like this kid, he gets hisinheritance early, he spends it
all.
He's thinking his identity is inhis stuff.
And so he spends it all.
And and now he's now he's inneed.
(19:50):
You know, the the Bible saysthat at the same time that he
spends everything, and it's justhow God's timing is, right?
A severe famine arose in thatcountry and began to be in need.
So not only did he spend all ofhis money, they're having a
recession.
(20:12):
He can't get a job, probablycan't pay his debtors.
The Bible goes on and says, andso he went and hired himself out
to one of the citizens of thecountry who sent him into the
fields to feed pigs.
So the only job he could get, hewent from a son with a big
(20:34):
inheritance to a son who was inneed and he was starving, and so
he worked for a pig farmer.
That's a bad day.
And he longed, and and as he waslonging to be fed with the pods
that the pigs ate, and no onegave him anything.
(21:00):
He's just starving, he just hasno hope.
I I meet people that feel likethey've run so far from God that
there's no hope for them.
There's there's no way to comeback from this.
They've made the ultimatemistake.
So Jesus, you know, telling thisstory, they they all understood
(21:21):
what this meant.
And the shock of it, that a sonwould would take you the
inheritance that you had for himand and squander it and and and
party hardy and then come intoincredible need.
I I've met a number of fathersand coached them.
(21:46):
Matter of fact, I talked to one,I think, two or three months
ago.
We're just building a strategyto continue to reach out to a
son that he lost to drugs andwho now lives full-time on the
street as a drug user.
Came from a great family.
(22:07):
And he wanted out, he didn'twant the restrictions, he just
wanted to live his own life,just like this guy in the story.
And then it says that he he uhcame to himself, and it kind of
like wake, maybe he's waking upfrom a stupor and he and he
(22:30):
comes up with this question.
He goes, How many of my father'shard servants have more than
enough bread and I perish withhunger?
I know I'm gonna rise and go tomy father, and I'm gonna say to
him.
He gets he gets out the perfectprayer.
(22:50):
He he's got he's thinking, howcan I get back in the graces of
my dad?
I know what I'm gonna say,Father, I've sinned against
heaven and before you.
This is a church kid.
He's uh he's got the perfectprayer down.
And because he wants to go makeit.
He, I mean, he's starving.
(23:11):
I mean, he's in incredible need.
And, you know, he's you know, hewants food.
I don't think that he's hetotally understands what's going
on in his heart.
I think God's drawing him backin the story, and he and he and
(23:32):
he just turns home.
And the Bible says that, and hehe adds on to it, I'm no longer
worthy to be called your sons.
Treat me as one of your hiredservants.
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't that interesting how wecan get into places of sin where
(23:58):
we completely lose our sonshipand who God has made us to be as
men and and uh and women ifyou're joining us as a gal,
because of the shame and theguilt, the cloak of sin, where
you lose the value of who youare.
That's why the enemy wants toyou know get you to believe that
(24:23):
you can be too far away fromGod's love.
He'll never he'll never receiveyou again.
And here's this kid thinking,I'll just go back and just at
least the hired help gets food,I'll just go back and serve and
be one of the hired help of mydad's farm.
(24:48):
And so this story goes on.
And he rose and he and he comesto his father, and but while he
was still a long way off, hisfather saw him.
You know, one of the greatpictures of, you know, in my own
(25:12):
mind is God the Father sittingon the rocking chair waiting for
his son to come across thathorizon.
He's out there every daypraying.
He's out there every day hoping.
I have a number of men in ourcoaching groups who they're
(25:35):
waiting for the day ofrestoration with their children.
And it's one of the one of thegreat hopes of this parable is
that this is more than just astory that Jesus tells.
This becomes reality for thoseof us who trust in his word more
than the hurt or the separationor the craziness of our
(25:57):
families.
We need a lot of healing too,don't we, in our families?
There are some who have taken onan identity that's you know
about the politics of the day.
Politics has become an identityinstead of them just being your
son.
This being your daughter,they've they've they've cut you
(26:19):
off, they separated you out.
It's incredibly painful for amom or a dad.
Imagine this father in thisporch who sees his son, and as
he sees him long way off, hefelt compassion.
(26:40):
Well, when the Bible talks aboutcompassion, it's not this
empathy, but it's just this,it's really a gift that God has
in him.
He's a compassionate guy slow toanger, the Bible says.
And the the the what compassionreally means is when it hits you
(27:00):
as a man towards somebody else,it's more than, boy, I'm so
sorry he's in this place.
It's you're connecting to theheart that God the Father has
for him, and it causes you to dojust what this father does in
this story.
It says when he was still a longway off, he sees him, he feels
(27:24):
compassion, and he runs towardsthem, embraces him, and he
kisses him.
Isn't that the way you metChrist?
That's the way I met him.
He didn't stay away from me,away from me to run to him.
(27:49):
Like there's bumper stickersyears ago that goes, Well, I
found I found Christ.
No, you didn't find him, hefound you.
He's been looking for you.
And all that in that moment, inall that that son did, and him
winning his dad dead, and him,you know, spending his this
(28:14):
whole inheritance, you know,half of the family money, and
and then to see his dad runningat him, what was that like?
That was like us when we metChrist.
I mean, one of the things thatwas so extraordinary about that
(28:37):
moment that I met Jesus, and Iknow is you as well, is that he
ran towards us by carrying thecross in our place, just dying
in our place for the sin hedidn't commit, but the sin that
we did and and will do.
(28:59):
And he he run towards his son.
And the son's got this rehearsedprayer in him.
He's he's he's saying, you know,Father, I've sinned against
heaven and before you, I'm nolonger worthy to be called your
son.
He's trying to get out hisrepentance speech.
(29:22):
And the father, right in amoment, but he's it's like he
doesn't even hear it, because heknows that the ultimate offense
when our children sin is notnecessarily against us.
Those are things that they do,but they've they've sinned
against heaven and earth and theLord and this father in the
(29:46):
midst of his son.
It's like he's saying, hush,child.
You know, it's kind of like youknow, he when he saw him coming
home.
He knew that the only way torestore him was to show a
(30:07):
compassion that he had beengiven.
And here's the here's the restof the story here.
And he says, bring the the bestrobe and put it on him.
You know, his son was dirty.
Put a ring back on his hand.
Get that family ring he let goof before he left.
(30:30):
And choose on his feet.
And bring that that fatten,fattened calf.
You know, the one that that hisbrother's been feeding for his
own coming out party and killit.
And let's eat and celebrate.
For my son was dead and he'salive again.
He was lost and he's found.
(30:51):
And they began to celebrate.
And really, you know, embracingthat moment of what it's like in
heaven when one sinner turns.
The Bible says that all ofheaven, you know, celebrates.
(31:12):
When when one sinner turns andrepents, it's because in heaven,
that's the miracle that makesall heaven shout.
And sometimes, as dads, themiracle that we want is our sons
to be mature and to get ittogether and to finally change.
(31:37):
But heaven's celebration isrepentance, that true repentance
when you're lost and you havenowhere to go and you turn home.
Because heaven knows, and theFather knows in heaven, that
just one step back towards me,just one step, not your whole
(32:06):
plan on how you're going torepent for the next 15 years and
make up for anything, but justone step towards me, I'm going
to run towards you, and mypresence is going to enable you
to do and be who you could neverbe without me.
See, that's the miracle offorgiveness.
(32:27):
That not only does God forgiveus, but his spirit, through his
word, comes upon us, and itmakes up and for all of our
attempts at trying to be good,he restores us, he puts on a
robe, he puts on a ring, he addsus to his family, and he throws
(32:48):
a banquet because we were lostand now we're found.
And it seems like we spent somuch time working on trying to
get our kids in that place.
But the ultimate, the ultimatesign of the work of the Lord in
us and in our children is whenthey come to their senses in
(33:10):
real life.
They sinned against heaven.
They've sinned against the Lordand they've sinned against you
and they turn towards you.
How do you treat them?
You throw party?
Or do you just hold back to seeif it's true?
(33:30):
Well, think about how Jesustreated you when you said,
Father, forgive me.
Did he do it with a condition?
Or did he throw a party and fillyou with joy and his presence
and wrap his arms around you?
(33:52):
That's what our children needtoday, more than anything.
Hey, my friend Emmett King, oneof the greatest running backs
you'll ever play football with.
Great friend, played football atYoungstown State, great
preacher, great man of God.
Welcome.
But that's the way forgivenessworks.
(34:13):
And he goes on, not only that,but he he goes on and he and and
he they're celebrating.
And the the older brother nowhears.
And he's out in the fieldproving himself.
So he got two brothers, one whothought the father couldn't ever
love him again because he stolehis inheritance and ran away.
(34:35):
So I'm out.
And the older brother, who isjust in much of trouble in that
he thought, I've earned it, andI've earned this inheritance
because I've been the faithfulson.
Both of the sons in that storymissed who God the Father was.
(34:55):
And both of them didn'tunderstand the depth and the
love of who Christ in thatparable was communicating who
God the Father was.
And that if you do it all, youcan't get in if you do it all
right, and you can't lose it ifyou do it all wrong.
And so God's in this in thisincredible story of the prodigal
(35:19):
son, because his older son findsout, he finds out what all these
things have meant.
And the Bible says that, and hesaid to him, Your brother's come
and your father's killed thatfattened, you know, the fattened
calf, the one that you like, youknow, the one you even named
that you were going to have atyour birthday party, you know
(35:40):
that one?
Because he received it back safeand sound, and he was angry.
He was angry, not because helost the calf.
And he refused to go in.
He refused to go in.
And his father came out to himand entreated him.
But he answered his father,look, all these many years I've
(36:01):
served you, I've never disobeyedyour command, yet you never gave
me a young goat that I mightcelebrate with my friends.
But when this son of yours, youcan almost hear it, came, who
devoured your property withprostitute, you killed the fatty
calf for him.
(36:24):
But what a heart.
How many times have we uh doneit right and somebody else gets
promoted above us?
And we go, how in the world canthis possibly be?
I did it right, Lord.
See, part of the the the issuefor both these sons in the story
(36:45):
is they didn't understand thatthe heart that God the Father
has.
And so he then lines out to theolder son what he had missed all
these years in trying to provehimself.
And it was right here.
And he said, and he said thatthe father says to his older
(37:07):
son, son, you've always beenwith me, and all that is mine is
yours.
See the issue for the older sonwas he never asked for it.
He never turned towards his dadand was desperate.
(37:31):
He thought he earned it.
Isn't it fitting to celebrateand be glad for this brother was
dead and is alive and he's lostand he's found?
Gosh, I love this story.
So think about how that justapplies to you and your own
story with God.
Is that the way you receive hisforgiveness?
(37:54):
Is that the way you treatyourself if you've been
overlooked or think that you'veearned something and not gotten
it?
Because see, part of our job asa father is to is to model what
forgiveness and restorationshould look like in our
families.
(38:15):
When our children blow it, whatdo we do?
Do we just forgive them or do wecelebrate when we see that God's
truly touched their life?
We throw them a party.
But what if they misuse theinheritance again?
(38:36):
It's like Jesus is saying, Myfather can't help it.
That's how much he loves us.
Because, see, every bit of hisanger and disappointment in us
was poured out on his son on thecross of Calvary, so that when
we go to him and say, Father,forgive me for I've sinned
(38:59):
against you, he not onlyforgives us, he restores it,
because all of all of thejudgment Romans talked about
that we deserve was poured outon Jesus on the cross.
We are completely forgiven.
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So, how do you treat your ownheart when you blow it with God?
Are you starting trying to workyour way back home by doing good
so that you get back in hisgraces, or are you really good
at learning to receiveforgiveness?
Because the fathers that I knowthat are really good at
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receiving forgiveness forthemselves are incredibly
generous with their children.
But God doesn't forgive us thatway.
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Because he knows God knows thatin himself, when we turn towards
him, his capacity to turn abroken life into an
extraordinary life is in hishands, not ours.
Because if it was in our hands,then we'd take credit for it and
(40:34):
sell it for$19.95 instead ofunderstanding that all of those
things that God has given us areabsolute gifts to us.
So a couple of applicationstonight to think about how do
you receive God's forgivenesswhen you've totally blown it?
(40:55):
How long do you make yourselfpay for what you did wrong?
Second thing.
Do you treat your children thesame way you treat yourself when
you blow it?
Do you make them pay for it fora while?
(41:21):
I m I remember in the early daysof being a dad, I would get
angry at my children and andjust kind of pull away from them
to let them know howdisappointed I was in them.
And how disappointed I was inthem.
Like I was rubbing their nose init.
(41:57):
I don't know where I came upwith this, that if a dog one of
my dogs messed in the house orwent to the bathroom in the
house, we'd stick his nose in itand smack him.
SPEAKER_02 (42:08):
And I kid you not.
I had a Labrador named Brutus.
He was a puppy and he messed upin the house.
And I smacked him and he lookedat me.
It was like his look said, Sowhat do you want me to do,
Edith?
He didn't get the discipline.
(42:30):
He knew that he was bad, but Ihad I had to teach him how to go
outside.
He was just a little puppy, hewas a little dog.
I I thought he should he shouldknow better.
This is a house.
SPEAKER_01 (42:41):
You don't do this in there.
And yet, in those early days,and and even fathering my kids,
I had this idea that my kidsshould know better because they
just should.
I didn't I didn't know.
I I remember one time, you know,Lucas.
SPEAKER_02 (42:57):
I'd go into his room and it was just like stuff just
everywhere, just everywhere.
And and I would yell at him, andI remember one time I I went in
and I went, son, this is a pigstyle and he looked at me like
what's a what's a pig style?
(43:19):
And I and I said, Well, youknow, it just like where pigs
live.
SPEAKER_01 (43:25):
And I went back and he was just upset, he was angry,
he felt ashamed by me.
I remember the Lord just this,you know, I'm so walking back to
my room.
SPEAKER_02 (43:40):
He said, You've never shown him how to clean his
room.
SPEAKER_01 (43:49):
So I I walked into his room and and he was on, you
know, he said, Look, he's likehe's waiting for me to just make
him feel bad again.
And uh I said, son, do you knowhow to clean you know what a
clean how to clean your room?
And he looks at me.
(44:11):
He just love Luke.
He just looks at me and he goes,Well, you just don't want to see
anything on the floor, so I juststuff everything under the bed.
SPEAKER_02 (44:25):
And I just went, I've not been a good dad here,
and so I went over and I said,okay, let's do that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
And we pulled out, I can't tell you how much laundry
was underneath there.
Toys and laundry and baseballshe's been looking for, and
footballs and equipment andstuff, and we took it all out of
there, cleaned it up, we put itinto a shelf and put in his
drawers and organized hiscloset.
(44:56):
And I said, There we go.
Now that you understand, hegoes, Yeah, that's just thanks,
Dad.
And I mean to tell you, I mean,just one of those just you know,
golden moments of of being afather, where God intervenes and
he showed me how to move fromdisciplining him and rejecting
(45:21):
his actions to embracing him theway that father did in that
prodigal son story.
That's why I call it the parableof the running father, because
he ran towards the son who wasbroken.
And the reason we can run isbecause God has all the power he
(45:42):
needs to turn their hearts.
Because when your kids areturning home, they're they're
wanting to know for a lot of thekids that I coach, and I and I
coach a bunch of kids withfamilies, and they want to know
how long they're gonna be introuble.
(46:05):
How long you know they're gonnabe reminded about how broken
they are.
And they're not really open tothe new tools of in their life
many times because they justfeel like they're in trouble.
Or their mom's and mad at them.
And how long is that going on?
Well, she's been mad for acouple weeks because of
(46:26):
something I did.
And you know, the problem istreating our children that way
doesn't actually change theirbehavior, nor does it change our
behavior when it was done to us.
In that the quicker we learn howto restore them and give them
whole new ways of doing thingsand seeing themselves is the
(46:48):
whole point of the of theparable of a running father.
Both sons missed it.
One tried to work his way to hisinheritance, and the other
thought he could he didn't valuehimself, he could, he, he could
lose it, and his dad willcompletely reject him.
Both sons were in trouble.
(47:08):
And it's like a picture of theworld, right?
The picture of the church.
You have the church that'strying to prove themselves to
God to get God to move, and yougot the church that's so lost
and broken they don't think theycan ever be restored.
And and the issue for all of usis that there is no sin that's
too big that God can't heal.
(47:31):
And there's a way for us asfathers and moms, if we're
watching, and the way we treatour children when they're really
broken.
And so, when's the last time youthrew a party for a son or
daughter who came and confessedsomething to you and just
(47:52):
blessed them?
You know, I um I'm not all thetime, but a few times being a
dad, I when my son had a reallybad day or a daughter had a
really bad day, I would uh say,Hey, Josh, I'm so grateful you
(48:12):
told me that.
And I and you're completelyforgiven.
Remember that thing that you'vebeen praying to get at
Christmas?
Come on, let's go buy it.
And I remember one time one ofmy sons go, but dad, I don't
deserve it.
I go, No, you don't.
You don't.
But see, while we were still yessinners, Christ died for us,
(48:32):
son.
And so God's been teaching mehow to celebrate you as you're
as you turn towards home as muchas celebrating you when you're
doing it right.
And that's the heart of God forus today.
So think about that with yourfamily.
Think about that with your kids.
And so how do you modelforgiveness for them?
(48:57):
How do you forgive them?
What does that look like forthem?
And could it be that some of theways that we've built those
models have caused our kids torun away from the church because
they feel shamed all the time.
They feel talked about.
We use those little passiveaggressive innuendos to somehow
(49:21):
make them really feel bad fordisappointing mom or dad.
Well, I've I've learned onething over and over again that
this just doesn't work.
What works is when theyultimately come before you and
repent and go to the Father, andhis love and grace touches them
and makes them into a differentkind of young man or young
(49:44):
woman.
And that's what we want.
So let me pray for you before weget off tonight.
A couple of things.
If you've been hanging around usfor any amount of time, we have
some resources for you.
Welcome.
A number of people on Instagramhave joined us tonight and and
TikTok and and welcome, and justso great to see some of my
(50:07):
friends.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
If you don't get our dailydevotional, we have a devotional
that I write every day and sendout, and it's kind of a it's
kind of a a word for you everysingle day.
We can go here on this link, ifyou go to our website at the
fatherdifference.com and see andhit the button for devotional,
(50:33):
you can get that freedevotional.
And it's right there at ourwebsite, and uh love to give
that to you as well.
Maybe you're in a place andyou're you're in need of some
coaching.
And if you'll go to our websiteat thefatherdifference.com, or
(50:54):
you can also email me at candyat blessing of the father.com.
I'll send you a link and giveyou kind of an introductory uh
coaching session to help youwith your children.
Because there's a lot offamilies right now that are are
kind of separated, and theholidays are around the corner,
(51:17):
and you want to have the bestholiday ever.
And that's our prayer for you.
And so if you if you send me anemail and say, Ed, I could use
some help, I'll send you a linkand give you a time slide.
I mean you can get togetherabsolutely free and talk about
what you would really like towork on and to get your family
(51:39):
into a new place.
If that's something you'reinterested in, I'd love for you
to be there.
So before we get off this, let'spray.
And if you got a prayer requestand you send it right now on the
chat, you can uh chat it to meor send it in a comment.
You can do a private chat ifit's personal, we'll get those
(52:02):
as well, and we'll pray for you.
But we would be honored to toserve you tonight.
So, Father, I pray for myfriends that are that are
watching.
And uh I'm so grateful, Lord,uh, that they've given time
tonight to to hang with me as wetalk about uh you and the power
(52:22):
of forgiveness and family.
And and uh God, I'm just soblown away by your word and uh
how you forgave that son andthat story so quickly, and make
me kind of father thatcelebrates and starts running
(52:44):
towards my kids when they take astep towards home.
That I'm not waiting for them toget it all together.
I'm I am just um with all that Ihave celebrating the step
towards home, not the completeforgiveness or the complete
confession.
Lord, teach us how to runtowards our children for their
(53:08):
sake and our grandchildren'ssake.
Repair relationships.
I pray for families that havebeen separated through hurt and
pain.
I pray for families right nowthat have been separated through
politics.
Father, I pray you would restorefamilies in the name of Jesus.
I pray that you would bless mybrothers and sisters to get
(53:30):
their family members back andthat they would go to those
houses over Thanksgiving andChristmas and bring a blessing
in their heart to bless themwith, and an expectation of
restoring relationship.
And I just especially pray forgrandmas and grandpas right now
(53:52):
who are watching, whose uhchildren because of hurt have
who are keeping their grandkidsaway from them.
Well, Lord, that that's just adevastating thing.
And I pray, Lord, that you wouldheal that relationship with
their children.
And maybe, maybe it's the childwho married your child, the new
(54:20):
in-law who has decided not tobuild their life around you.
I pray you would doextraordinary miracles this
Christmas season, Lord.
In the name of Jesus.
I pray for those kids that haverun far away that they turn
home.
I pray for one mom who's losther son and doesn't know where
(54:43):
he is.
You're watching right now.
I pray, Lord, that you wouldrestore her to her son, that
he'd come home.
He'd call her in the next twoweeks, Lord.
I pray for that grandpa that'sbeen waiting to see their
grandkids, and it's been a longtime, incredible pain.
I pray you'd restore them rightnow and do whatever you need to
(55:08):
do to turn on that familycelebration again.
And I ask you to bless myfriends that are watching, and
to bless their families, andbless these dads.
Father, you truly would wouldstoop down, your word says, to
make them great again.
Make them great fathers andgrandfathers and lovers of their
(55:30):
wives, and even lovers of theirexes, Lord, if they're divorced,
that they would be great friendsat minimum so that their
children can heal from theeffects of divorce.
Lord, bless them, Lord, usethem, Lord, protect them, Lord.
(55:50):
And all God's people praying inthe name of Jesus said, Amen.
Amen.
Bless you.
Thank you for being with me hereat the Father Difference Live.
You can follow us on Facebook.
Would you go to Facebook andlike that video if you see us
there or Instagram?
(56:11):
We'd like us and follow us.
And if you're in a place ofsupport, we're we're we're
building a brand new fatherhoodacademy that's going to be
launched here real soon.
And we we need some donors andsupporters who want to partner
with us to really make adifference for the sake of men
(56:33):
who are broken and separatedfrom their families and who
really need to be equipped.
So if you want to help supportus, go to my website at
thefatherdifference.com anddonate.
And uh appreciate anything thatyou can do looking for monthly
partners or end-of-the-yeargifts that helped us reach our
(56:53):
goal.
And our goal, we got a big goal,but God can do anything.
We we're still in need ofraising 100,000 by the end of
the year.
It's actually a little less thanthat.
But uh, what that'll do isreally help us get our tools in
place for this new launch of theFatherhood Academy.
If you want to be a foundingmember there, uh go to the
(57:16):
website and support us.
We'd be so grateful for that.
And remember, my friends, it isnever too late for God to come
in and do a miracle in yourlife, in your story.
So grateful for you.
Thanks for showing up tonightand can't wait to see you
online.
Make sure you like us on thesocial media platforms.
(57:38):
And would you share with yourfriends and say, hey, you need
to check out this crazy footballplayer, dude.
God's even using a guy likethat.
Hallelujah.
Anyway, blessings to you.
I'm so grateful that you're herepraying for you, Pastor Ed.
What kind of father do you want to be?
What kind of man do you want tobecome for your family and for
yourself?
If you've ever wondered how tostep into the fullness of your
role as a father, husband, andman of God, then you're in the
right place.
Here at the Father Difference,our mission is to inspire and
equip men to be the best fathersthey can be.
(00:23):
It's a powerful mission.
And today, we're going toexplore exactly how you can take
steps toward that calling.
Whether you're a father, a son,a husband, grandfather, single
dad, stepfather, or just lookingto grow, I believe God has
something powerful for you intoday's message.
(00:44):
Whether you're tuning in live orwatching this later, we are so
excited to have you here.
If this is what you're lookingfor, then subscribe so you can
tune in each week to the FatherDifference Live.
You can sign up below.
And now your host, a husband,father, grandfather, author, and
(01:04):
former NFL player, Pastor EdMcGlass.
SPEAKER_01 (07:31):
Here we go.
How's that?
How's that?
I see.
Is that me?
Do you hear me there?
Okay, I think we're back.
So we I don't know how in theworld happened, but okay, we're
(07:53):
back.
Okay, there's a little echothere.
Okay, so we're back.
If you are watching my mouthmove and nothing coming out, I'm
gonna start all over.
How many of you in your lifemade a promise as a dad that you
wouldn't do some of the samehurtful things that was done to
you?
Anyone?
Raise your hands.
(08:15):
Well, that was my story.
And my son Edward did somethingthat was really, you know,
really made me mad.
And I went in the room there andjust kind of nuked him.
And the title of our messagetoday is What Father Are You
Listening to?
And the reason I have that titleis that you know there are times
(08:37):
when we're kind of operatingjust from the things that we've
learned to receive from our owndads.
And in some of thoseinteractions, they can be really
broken things.
And then there's thoseinteractions when we learn how
to hear from God the Father inour life, that can change
everything.
And so I'm I was one of thosezealous dads who was more about
(09:04):
the performance of my kids inthose days than I was about
learning how to love them andsupport them.
I loved them, but I the onlymodel fathering that I had was
to push my kids to becomebetter, better, better, better.
Anyone else get there in theirlife?
Well, that was me.
And so I we had one of thosedays where my son did something,
(09:28):
it made me mad, and I just toreinto him in the other room.
And I came back in my studyhere, and I was really disgusted
with myself.
How many can relate?
How many of you done some thingswhere you you said things that
were really hurtful and and youreally hurt your kids?
(09:51):
And I was I was really disgustedwith myself and came in here to
try to figure out how I could dosomething different.
And so I went to the Lord and Ijust and I just you know I just
(10:12):
confessed.
I said, God, I mean, I'm I'mbroken.
Matter of fact, David, I wrotethese words down to share with
you uh from my book, the TheFather You've Always Wanted,
which we're we're going throughand reading together, you know,
on these times on Tuesday night.
And we're reading the same bookin a different place with gals
(10:35):
on Thursday at 12 o'clock.
And and so anyway, I asked God,God, why did I do that?
You know that I love my son withall my heart.
I know there's a lot of you wholove your kids, and you you wish
you could you could take some ofthose things back.
(10:56):
Tears formed in my eyes as thepresence of the Lord filled my
room, and and then the lovingvoice of the Father spoke to me
and said, and boy, it justnailed me and blew me away.
He said, You you spoke that waybecause it's the same way you
speak to yourself when you'rewrong.
(11:20):
Boy, that was just so true.
And he went on and said, See,Ed, you've learned to hear my
voice through the broken voiceof your stepfather to you when
he was angry.
But that's now not the way Ispeak.
(11:41):
When you learn to hear thevoice, the father's voice over
you, my loving voice, it willmake you the kind of father who
makes a difference.
And beloved men, my whole worldgot rocked.
You know, I began to understandin those moments, when you have
(12:04):
those moments with God, it'sthat have you ever had that
moment where he reveals to youthat you've made so much of your
story in your life just aboutyou, about you arriving, about
you being a man, or you being afather or a dad, or maybe your
(12:27):
stepdad or a stepfather.
You get with your kids, you'retrying to make those perfect
moments with them, and it justit just goes bad.
Because one of the principlesthat I learned that you know,
one of the ways that we changeas men and fathers towards our
children is when we learn tolisten to the right father.
(12:50):
Because there are things thatyour dad did that were good
things, and there's no totallyevil father, though there's
probably some you might name andput on the list because our dads
are all broken because a lot oftheir fathers didn't know how to
be in their stories, buteverything's redeemable,
everything can everything can befixed.
(13:12):
I I can tell you, I'veministered to men for you know
30 some years all over theworld, and I've I've watched
some of the most broken men geta brand new beginning.
And it wasn't just that theywere forgiven, learned to
receive God's forgiveness forthe broken way, it's that they
(13:35):
learned how to hear God's voice,the way he speaks through
scripture, the way he spoke tohis son Jesus.
And when that happens in yourlife, it transforms you as a
man, or if you're a galwatching, it transforms you in
the way you use your voice tospeak to your children.
(13:59):
And I got to tell you, is thatit's one of the most powerful
and transformative things thatcan happen to you in your life
is when you learn how to hearthe voice of the Father through
the Word of God, the way Jesusdid.
And in those days when He speaksto you, that that voice, and I'm
(14:21):
not talking about an audiblevoice, as much as this internal
revelation of his word to you.
And it just might as well beaudible, but it hits you in such
a profound way that it changesyou forever.
When he spoke that that line tome, you know, when you learn to
(14:44):
hear the voice of the father'svoice over you, my loving voice,
it would make you kind of fathermake the difference.
He gave me incredible hope thatI I didn't have to stay broken.
Because I I wanted to hear myfather's voice.
I never got to hear my dad'svoice.
(15:04):
My father was killed in action.
I heard my stepfather's voice,and there were some great
affirming times, and we had somegreat times as a kid.
But uh on the parenting side ofthe coin, he's he struggled for
a few years and in the midst ofthat.
But he, you know, he was heroicin that he he took on the role
(15:25):
of being my my stepdad, but henever treated me like a stepdad,
he treated me like a father, andhe gave he gave me all that he
had.
As a matter of fact, your dads,for the most part, have given
you all that they have.
The problem is that many of ushave been hurt by the way we've
(15:45):
been fathered, or wemisunderstand, and and then we
we end up you know being in thatplace where we break that
promise of never treating ourkids in a bad way, and we do the
very same things.
anybody ever do that?
And I'd love to hear from you inthe chat or your comments or
(16:06):
questions that you might have onone of the social media
platforms, and we'd love toanswer those today.
And so, how does that God changethat internal voice?
And so, what I want to do withyou is it I want to take you
through a story, one of myfavorite stories in the Bible,
(16:28):
and it's it's known as the prothe the parable of the prodigal
son, it was something that Jesustaught.
I've renamed it, which I thinkis a more the I think is a
better description of the story,because the names of the stories
aren't actually scripture,they're the ones the editors put
(16:49):
in.
I I call this the the parable ofthe running father.
And it's in Luke 15, it says, hesaid, There was a man who had
two sons, and the younger ofthem said to his father, Father,
give me the inheritance ofproperty that is coming to me.
(17:12):
You know, it's uh which what'sso shocking about this story,
and to the ears of the peoplethat were were listening to
this, is that for a son to cometo you before you die and say,
give me my inheritance early.
He's basically saying, Ibasically want you dead to me.
(17:34):
I I don't want you in my life, Ijust want the money, I just want
the inheritance.
That's all I want.
I mean, it's I mean, we havethese battles today with
inheritance and with people, andand their their only identity
that they have because of theway their fathers dealt with
(17:55):
them is the money from the trustor the money from the
inheritance.
And the kids measure their worthbased on how much money they
get.
And so this taps right into allthose things, and you can
imagine having one of yourchildren come into you and
saying, Dad, I wish you weredead.
(18:17):
I want my inheritance early.
And so the father he divided uphis property between them, and
not many days later, the youngerson gathered all he had, took on
a journey to a far country, andthere he squandered his property
in reckless living.
(18:38):
And when he had spent alleverything, a severe famine
arose in that country andenterbine.
You know, people think, well, ifI can just win the lottery, then
boy, I can change my life.
I mean, you know, they did a uha research paper years ago about
(19:03):
the 71 original lottery winnersin the state of California,
where they were 10 years afterthey won the lottery.
And as no surprise, the majorityof them, and I I probably have
the statistics just a littleoff, but it was more than 90% of
(19:25):
them were back in the samefinancial state they were before
they won all the money.
Like this kid, he gets hisinheritance early, he spends it
all.
He's thinking his identity is inhis stuff.
And so he spends it all.
And and now he's now he's inneed.
(19:50):
You know, the the Bible saysthat at the same time that he
spends everything, and it's justhow God's timing is, right?
A severe famine arose in thatcountry and began to be in need.
So not only did he spend all ofhis money, they're having a
recession.
(20:12):
He can't get a job, probablycan't pay his debtors.
The Bible goes on and says, andso he went and hired himself out
to one of the citizens of thecountry who sent him into the
fields to feed pigs.
So the only job he could get, hewent from a son with a big
(20:34):
inheritance to a son who was inneed and he was starving, and so
he worked for a pig farmer.
That's a bad day.
And he longed, and and as he waslonging to be fed with the pods
that the pigs ate, and no onegave him anything.
(21:00):
He's just starving, he just hasno hope.
I I meet people that feel likethey've run so far from God that
there's no hope for them.
There's there's no way to comeback from this.
They've made the ultimatemistake.
So Jesus, you know, telling thisstory, they they all understood
(21:21):
what this meant.
And the shock of it, that a sonwould would take you the
inheritance that you had for himand and squander it and and and
party hardy and then come intoincredible need.
I I've met a number of fathersand coached them.
(21:46):
Matter of fact, I talked to one,I think, two or three months
ago.
We're just building a strategyto continue to reach out to a
son that he lost to drugs andwho now lives full-time on the
street as a drug user.
Came from a great family.
(22:07):
And he wanted out, he didn'twant the restrictions, he just
wanted to live his own life,just like this guy in the story.
And then it says that he he uhcame to himself, and it kind of
like wake, maybe he's waking upfrom a stupor and he and he
(22:30):
comes up with this question.
He goes, How many of my father'shard servants have more than
enough bread and I perish withhunger?
I know I'm gonna rise and go tomy father, and I'm gonna say to
him.
He gets he gets out the perfectprayer.
(22:50):
He he's got he's thinking, howcan I get back in the graces of
my dad?
I know what I'm gonna say,Father, I've sinned against
heaven and before you.
This is a church kid.
He's uh he's got the perfectprayer down.
And because he wants to go makeit.
He, I mean, he's starving.
(23:11):
I mean, he's in incredible need.
And, you know, he's you know, hewants food.
I don't think that he's hetotally understands what's going
on in his heart.
I think God's drawing him backin the story, and he and he and
(23:32):
he just turns home.
And the Bible says that, and hehe adds on to it, I'm no longer
worthy to be called your sons.
Treat me as one of your hiredservants.
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't that interesting how wecan get into places of sin where
(23:58):
we completely lose our sonshipand who God has made us to be as
men and and uh and women ifyou're joining us as a gal,
because of the shame and theguilt, the cloak of sin, where
you lose the value of who youare.
That's why the enemy wants toyou know get you to believe that
(24:23):
you can be too far away fromGod's love.
He'll never he'll never receiveyou again.
And here's this kid thinking,I'll just go back and just at
least the hired help gets food,I'll just go back and serve and
be one of the hired help of mydad's farm.
(24:48):
And so this story goes on.
And he rose and he and he comesto his father, and but while he
was still a long way off, hisfather saw him.
You know, one of the greatpictures of, you know, in my own
(25:12):
mind is God the Father sittingon the rocking chair waiting for
his son to come across thathorizon.
He's out there every daypraying.
He's out there every day hoping.
I have a number of men in ourcoaching groups who they're
(25:35):
waiting for the day ofrestoration with their children.
And it's one of the one of thegreat hopes of this parable is
that this is more than just astory that Jesus tells.
This becomes reality for thoseof us who trust in his word more
than the hurt or the separationor the craziness of our
(25:57):
families.
We need a lot of healing too,don't we, in our families?
There are some who have taken onan identity that's you know
about the politics of the day.
Politics has become an identityinstead of them just being your
son.
This being your daughter,they've they've they've cut you
(26:19):
off, they separated you out.
It's incredibly painful for amom or a dad.
Imagine this father in thisporch who sees his son, and as
he sees him long way off, hefelt compassion.
(26:40):
Well, when the Bible talks aboutcompassion, it's not this
empathy, but it's just this,it's really a gift that God has
in him.
He's a compassionate guy slow toanger, the Bible says.
And the the the what compassionreally means is when it hits you
(27:00):
as a man towards somebody else,it's more than, boy, I'm so
sorry he's in this place.
It's you're connecting to theheart that God the Father has
for him, and it causes you to dojust what this father does in
this story.
It says when he was still a longway off, he sees him, he feels
(27:24):
compassion, and he runs towardsthem, embraces him, and he
kisses him.
Isn't that the way you metChrist?
That's the way I met him.
He didn't stay away from me,away from me to run to him.
(27:49):
Like there's bumper stickersyears ago that goes, Well, I
found I found Christ.
No, you didn't find him, hefound you.
He's been looking for you.
And all that in that moment, inall that that son did, and him
winning his dad dead, and him,you know, spending his this
(28:14):
whole inheritance, you know,half of the family money, and
and then to see his dad runningat him, what was that like?
That was like us when we metChrist.
I mean, one of the things thatwas so extraordinary about that
(28:37):
moment that I met Jesus, and Iknow is you as well, is that he
ran towards us by carrying thecross in our place, just dying
in our place for the sin hedidn't commit, but the sin that
we did and and will do.
(28:59):
And he he run towards his son.
And the son's got this rehearsedprayer in him.
He's he's he's saying, you know,Father, I've sinned against
heaven and before you, I'm nolonger worthy to be called your
son.
He's trying to get out hisrepentance speech.
(29:22):
And the father, right in amoment, but he's it's like he
doesn't even hear it, because heknows that the ultimate offense
when our children sin is notnecessarily against us.
Those are things that they do,but they've they've sinned
against heaven and earth and theLord and this father in the
(29:46):
midst of his son.
It's like he's saying, hush,child.
You know, it's kind of like youknow, he when he saw him coming
home.
He knew that the only way torestore him was to show a
(30:07):
compassion that he had beengiven.
And here's the here's the restof the story here.
And he says, bring the the bestrobe and put it on him.
You know, his son was dirty.
Put a ring back on his hand.
Get that family ring he let goof before he left.
(30:30):
And choose on his feet.
And bring that that fatten,fattened calf.
You know, the one that that hisbrother's been feeding for his
own coming out party and killit.
And let's eat and celebrate.
For my son was dead and he'salive again.
He was lost and he's found.
(30:51):
And they began to celebrate.
And really, you know, embracingthat moment of what it's like in
heaven when one sinner turns.
The Bible says that all ofheaven, you know, celebrates.
(31:12):
When when one sinner turns andrepents, it's because in heaven,
that's the miracle that makesall heaven shout.
And sometimes, as dads, themiracle that we want is our sons
to be mature and to get ittogether and to finally change.
(31:37):
But heaven's celebration isrepentance, that true repentance
when you're lost and you havenowhere to go and you turn home.
Because heaven knows, and theFather knows in heaven, that
just one step back towards me,just one step, not your whole
(32:06):
plan on how you're going torepent for the next 15 years and
make up for anything, but justone step towards me, I'm going
to run towards you, and mypresence is going to enable you
to do and be who you could neverbe without me.
See, that's the miracle offorgiveness.
(32:27):
That not only does God forgiveus, but his spirit, through his
word, comes upon us, and itmakes up and for all of our
attempts at trying to be good,he restores us, he puts on a
robe, he puts on a ring, he addsus to his family, and he throws
(32:48):
a banquet because we were lostand now we're found.
And it seems like we spent somuch time working on trying to
get our kids in that place.
But the ultimate, the ultimatesign of the work of the Lord in
us and in our children is whenthey come to their senses in
(33:10):
real life.
They sinned against heaven.
They've sinned against the Lordand they've sinned against you
and they turn towards you.
How do you treat them?
You throw party?
Or do you just hold back to seeif it's true?
(33:30):
Well, think about how Jesustreated you when you said,
Father, forgive me.
Did he do it with a condition?
Or did he throw a party and fillyou with joy and his presence
and wrap his arms around you?
(33:52):
That's what our children needtoday, more than anything.
Hey, my friend Emmett King, oneof the greatest running backs
you'll ever play football with.
Great friend, played football atYoungstown State, great
preacher, great man of God.
Welcome.
But that's the way forgivenessworks.
(34:13):
And he goes on, not only that,but he he goes on and he and and
he they're celebrating.
And the the older brother nowhears.
And he's out in the fieldproving himself.
So he got two brothers, one whothought the father couldn't ever
love him again because he stolehis inheritance and ran away.
(34:35):
So I'm out.
And the older brother, who isjust in much of trouble in that
he thought, I've earned it, andI've earned this inheritance
because I've been the faithfulson.
Both of the sons in that storymissed who God the Father was.
(34:55):
And both of them didn'tunderstand the depth and the
love of who Christ in thatparable was communicating who
God the Father was.
And that if you do it all, youcan't get in if you do it all
right, and you can't lose it ifyou do it all wrong.
And so God's in this in thisincredible story of the prodigal
(35:19):
son, because his older son findsout, he finds out what all these
things have meant.
And the Bible says that, and hesaid to him, Your brother's come
and your father's killed thatfattened, you know, the fattened
calf, the one that you like, youknow, the one you even named
that you were going to have atyour birthday party, you know
(35:40):
that one?
Because he received it back safeand sound, and he was angry.
He was angry, not because helost the calf.
And he refused to go in.
He refused to go in.
And his father came out to himand entreated him.
But he answered his father,look, all these many years I've
(36:01):
served you, I've never disobeyedyour command, yet you never gave
me a young goat that I mightcelebrate with my friends.
But when this son of yours, youcan almost hear it, came, who
devoured your property withprostitute, you killed the fatty
calf for him.
(36:24):
But what a heart.
How many times have we uh doneit right and somebody else gets
promoted above us?
And we go, how in the world canthis possibly be?
I did it right, Lord.
See, part of the the the issuefor both these sons in the story
(36:45):
is they didn't understand thatthe heart that God the Father
has.
And so he then lines out to theolder son what he had missed all
these years in trying to provehimself.
And it was right here.
And he said, and he said thatthe father says to his older
(37:07):
son, son, you've always beenwith me, and all that is mine is
yours.
See the issue for the older sonwas he never asked for it.
He never turned towards his dadand was desperate.
(37:31):
He thought he earned it.
Isn't it fitting to celebrateand be glad for this brother was
dead and is alive and he's lostand he's found?
Gosh, I love this story.
So think about how that justapplies to you and your own
story with God.
Is that the way you receive hisforgiveness?
(37:54):
Is that the way you treatyourself if you've been
overlooked or think that you'veearned something and not gotten
it?
Because see, part of our job asa father is to is to model what
forgiveness and restorationshould look like in our
families.
(38:15):
When our children blow it, whatdo we do?
Do we just forgive them or do wecelebrate when we see that God's
truly touched their life?
We throw them a party.
But what if they misuse theinheritance again?
(38:36):
It's like Jesus is saying, Myfather can't help it.
That's how much he loves us.
Because, see, every bit of hisanger and disappointment in us
was poured out on his son on thecross of Calvary, so that when
we go to him and say, Father,forgive me for I've sinned
(38:59):
against you, he not onlyforgives us, he restores it,
because all of all of thejudgment Romans talked about
that we deserve was poured outon Jesus on the cross.
We are completely forgiven.
(39:26):
So, how do you treat your ownheart when you blow it with God?
Are you starting trying to workyour way back home by doing good
so that you get back in hisgraces, or are you really good
at learning to receiveforgiveness?
Because the fathers that I knowthat are really good at
(39:49):
receiving forgiveness forthemselves are incredibly
generous with their children.
But God doesn't forgive us thatway.
(40:12):
Because he knows God knows thatin himself, when we turn towards
him, his capacity to turn abroken life into an
extraordinary life is in hishands, not ours.
Because if it was in our hands,then we'd take credit for it and
(40:34):
sell it for$19.95 instead ofunderstanding that all of those
things that God has given us areabsolute gifts to us.
So a couple of applicationstonight to think about how do
you receive God's forgivenesswhen you've totally blown it?
(40:55):
How long do you make yourselfpay for what you did wrong?
Second thing.
Do you treat your children thesame way you treat yourself when
you blow it?
Do you make them pay for it fora while?
(41:21):
I m I remember in the early daysof being a dad, I would get
angry at my children and andjust kind of pull away from them
to let them know howdisappointed I was in them.
And how disappointed I was inthem.
Like I was rubbing their nose init.
(41:57):
I don't know where I came upwith this, that if a dog one of
my dogs messed in the house orwent to the bathroom in the
house, we'd stick his nose in itand smack him.
SPEAKER_02 (42:08):
And I kid you not.
I had a Labrador named Brutus.
He was a puppy and he messed upin the house.
And I smacked him and he lookedat me.
It was like his look said, Sowhat do you want me to do,
Edith?
He didn't get the discipline.
(42:30):
He knew that he was bad, but Ihad I had to teach him how to go
outside.
He was just a little puppy, hewas a little dog.
I I thought he should he shouldknow better.
This is a house.
SPEAKER_01 (42:41):
You don't do this in there.
And yet, in those early days,and and even fathering my kids,
I had this idea that my kidsshould know better because they
just should.
I didn't I didn't know.
I I remember one time, you know,Lucas.
SPEAKER_02 (42:57):
I'd go into his room and it was just like stuff just
everywhere, just everywhere.
And and I would yell at him, andI remember one time I I went in
and I went, son, this is a pigstyle and he looked at me like
what's a what's a pig style?
(43:19):
And I and I said, Well, youknow, it just like where pigs
live.
SPEAKER_01 (43:25):
And I went back and he was just upset, he was angry,
he felt ashamed by me.
I remember the Lord just this,you know, I'm so walking back to
my room.
SPEAKER_02 (43:40):
He said, You've never shown him how to clean his
room.
SPEAKER_01 (43:49):
So I I walked into his room and and he was on, you
know, he said, Look, he's likehe's waiting for me to just make
him feel bad again.
And uh I said, son, do you knowhow to clean you know what a
clean how to clean your room?
And he looks at me.
(44:11):
He just love Luke.
He just looks at me and he goes,Well, you just don't want to see
anything on the floor, so I juststuff everything under the bed.
SPEAKER_02 (44:25):
And I just went, I've not been a good dad here,
and so I went over and I said,okay, let's do that.
SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
And we pulled out, I can't tell you how much laundry
was underneath there.
Toys and laundry and baseballshe's been looking for, and
footballs and equipment andstuff, and we took it all out of
there, cleaned it up, we put itinto a shelf and put in his
drawers and organized hiscloset.
(44:56):
And I said, There we go.
Now that you understand, hegoes, Yeah, that's just thanks,
Dad.
And I mean to tell you, I mean,just one of those just you know,
golden moments of of being afather, where God intervenes and
he showed me how to move fromdisciplining him and rejecting
(45:21):
his actions to embracing him theway that father did in that
prodigal son story.
That's why I call it the parableof the running father, because
he ran towards the son who wasbroken.
And the reason we can run isbecause God has all the power he
(45:42):
needs to turn their hearts.
Because when your kids areturning home, they're they're
wanting to know for a lot of thekids that I coach, and I and I
coach a bunch of kids withfamilies, and they want to know
how long they're gonna be introuble.
(46:05):
How long you know they're gonnabe reminded about how broken
they are.
And they're not really open tothe new tools of in their life
many times because they justfeel like they're in trouble.
Or their mom's and mad at them.
And how long is that going on?
Well, she's been mad for acouple weeks because of
(46:26):
something I did.
And you know, the problem istreating our children that way
doesn't actually change theirbehavior, nor does it change our
behavior when it was done to us.
In that the quicker we learn howto restore them and give them
whole new ways of doing thingsand seeing themselves is the
(46:48):
whole point of the of theparable of a running father.
Both sons missed it.
One tried to work his way to hisinheritance, and the other
thought he could he didn't valuehimself, he could, he, he could
lose it, and his dad willcompletely reject him.
Both sons were in trouble.
(47:08):
And it's like a picture of theworld, right?
The picture of the church.
You have the church that'strying to prove themselves to
God to get God to move, and yougot the church that's so lost
and broken they don't think theycan ever be restored.
And and the issue for all of usis that there is no sin that's
too big that God can't heal.
(47:31):
And there's a way for us asfathers and moms, if we're
watching, and the way we treatour children when they're really
broken.
And so, when's the last time youthrew a party for a son or
daughter who came and confessedsomething to you and just
(47:52):
blessed them?
You know, I um I'm not all thetime, but a few times being a
dad, I when my son had a reallybad day or a daughter had a
really bad day, I would uh say,Hey, Josh, I'm so grateful you
(48:12):
told me that.
And I and you're completelyforgiven.
Remember that thing that you'vebeen praying to get at
Christmas?
Come on, let's go buy it.
And I remember one time one ofmy sons go, but dad, I don't
deserve it.
I go, No, you don't.
You don't.
But see, while we were still yessinners, Christ died for us,
(48:32):
son.
And so God's been teaching mehow to celebrate you as you're
as you turn towards home as muchas celebrating you when you're
doing it right.
And that's the heart of God forus today.
So think about that with yourfamily.
Think about that with your kids.
And so how do you modelforgiveness for them?
(48:57):
How do you forgive them?
What does that look like forthem?
And could it be that some of theways that we've built those
models have caused our kids torun away from the church because
they feel shamed all the time.
They feel talked about.
We use those little passiveaggressive innuendos to somehow
(49:21):
make them really feel bad fordisappointing mom or dad.
Well, I've I've learned onething over and over again that
this just doesn't work.
What works is when theyultimately come before you and
repent and go to the Father, andhis love and grace touches them
and makes them into a differentkind of young man or young
(49:44):
woman.
And that's what we want.
So let me pray for you before weget off tonight.
A couple of things.
If you've been hanging around usfor any amount of time, we have
some resources for you.
Welcome.
A number of people on Instagramhave joined us tonight and and
TikTok and and welcome, and justso great to see some of my
(50:07):
friends.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
If you don't get our dailydevotional, we have a devotional
that I write every day and sendout, and it's kind of a it's
kind of a a word for you everysingle day.
We can go here on this link, ifyou go to our website at the
fatherdifference.com and see andhit the button for devotional,
(50:33):
you can get that freedevotional.
And it's right there at ourwebsite, and uh love to give
that to you as well.
Maybe you're in a place andyou're you're in need of some
coaching.
And if you'll go to our websiteat thefatherdifference.com, or
(50:54):
you can also email me at candyat blessing of the father.com.
I'll send you a link and giveyou kind of an introductory uh
coaching session to help youwith your children.
Because there's a lot offamilies right now that are are
kind of separated, and theholidays are around the corner,
(51:17):
and you want to have the bestholiday ever.
And that's our prayer for you.
And so if you if you send me anemail and say, Ed, I could use
some help, I'll send you a linkand give you a time slide.
I mean you can get togetherabsolutely free and talk about
what you would really like towork on and to get your family
(51:39):
into a new place.
If that's something you'reinterested in, I'd love for you
to be there.
So before we get off this, let'spray.
And if you got a prayer requestand you send it right now on the
chat, you can uh chat it to meor send it in a comment.
You can do a private chat ifit's personal, we'll get those
(52:02):
as well, and we'll pray for you.
But we would be honored to toserve you tonight.
So, Father, I pray for myfriends that are that are
watching.
And uh I'm so grateful, Lord,uh, that they've given time
tonight to to hang with me as wetalk about uh you and the power
(52:22):
of forgiveness and family.
And and uh God, I'm just soblown away by your word and uh
how you forgave that son andthat story so quickly, and make
me kind of father thatcelebrates and starts running
(52:44):
towards my kids when they take astep towards home.
That I'm not waiting for them toget it all together.
I'm I am just um with all that Ihave celebrating the step
towards home, not the completeforgiveness or the complete
confession.
Lord, teach us how to runtowards our children for their
(53:08):
sake and our grandchildren'ssake.
Repair relationships.
I pray for families that havebeen separated through hurt and
pain.
I pray for families right nowthat have been separated through
politics.
Father, I pray you would restorefamilies in the name of Jesus.
I pray that you would bless mybrothers and sisters to get
(53:30):
their family members back andthat they would go to those
houses over Thanksgiving andChristmas and bring a blessing
in their heart to bless themwith, and an expectation of
restoring relationship.
And I just especially pray forgrandmas and grandpas right now
(53:52):
who are watching, whose uhchildren because of hurt have
who are keeping their grandkidsaway from them.
Well, Lord, that that's just adevastating thing.
And I pray, Lord, that you wouldheal that relationship with
their children.
And maybe, maybe it's the childwho married your child, the new
(54:20):
in-law who has decided not tobuild their life around you.
I pray you would doextraordinary miracles this
Christmas season, Lord.
In the name of Jesus.
I pray for those kids that haverun far away that they turn
home.
I pray for one mom who's losther son and doesn't know where
(54:43):
he is.
You're watching right now.
I pray, Lord, that you wouldrestore her to her son, that
he'd come home.
He'd call her in the next twoweeks, Lord.
I pray for that grandpa that'sbeen waiting to see their
grandkids, and it's been a longtime, incredible pain.
I pray you'd restore them rightnow and do whatever you need to
(55:08):
do to turn on that familycelebration again.
And I ask you to bless myfriends that are watching, and
to bless their families, andbless these dads.
Father, you truly would wouldstoop down, your word says, to
make them great again.
Make them great fathers andgrandfathers and lovers of their
(55:30):
wives, and even lovers of theirexes, Lord, if they're divorced,
that they would be great friendsat minimum so that their
children can heal from theeffects of divorce.
Lord, bless them, Lord, usethem, Lord, protect them, Lord.
(55:50):
And all God's people praying inthe name of Jesus said, Amen.
Amen.
Bless you.
Thank you for being with me hereat the Father Difference Live.
You can follow us on Facebook.
Would you go to Facebook andlike that video if you see us
there or Instagram?
(56:11):
We'd like us and follow us.
And if you're in a place ofsupport, we're we're we're
building a brand new fatherhoodacademy that's going to be
launched here real soon.
And we we need some donors andsupporters who want to partner
with us to really make adifference for the sake of men
(56:33):
who are broken and separatedfrom their families and who
really need to be equipped.
So if you want to help supportus, go to my website at
thefatherdifference.com anddonate.
And uh appreciate anything thatyou can do looking for monthly
partners or end-of-the-yeargifts that helped us reach our
(56:53):
goal.
And our goal, we got a big goal,but God can do anything.
We we're still in need ofraising 100,000 by the end of
the year.
It's actually a little less thanthat.
But uh, what that'll do isreally help us get our tools in
place for this new launch of theFatherhood Academy.
If you want to be a foundingmember there, uh go to the
(57:16):
website and support us.
We'd be so grateful for that.
And remember, my friends, it isnever too late for God to come
in and do a miracle in yourlife, in your story.
So grateful for you.
Thanks for showing up tonightand can't wait to see you
online.
Make sure you like us on thesocial media platforms.
(57:38):
And would you share with yourfriends and say, hey, you need
to check out this crazy footballplayer, dude.
God's even using a guy likethat.
Hallelujah.
Anyway, blessings to you.
I'm so grateful that you're herepraying for you, Pastor Ed.
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