08. RADICAL GENEROSITY: Bob DePasquale's Incredible Journey and the Powerful Impact of Giving

What is the true worth of generosity and how does it intersect with personal finance? It's an intriguing question, one that our guest, Bob DePasquale, founder of the Initiative Impact Financial Investment and Management Firm and author of Personal Finance in a Public World, thoroughly answers. With the wisdom gleaned from a lifetime of overcoming adversity – a college football injury, cancer diagnosis, and the psychological impact of 9/11 – and his experience advising thousands of families, Bob reveals how embracing generosity can transform not just our financial lives, but our personal lives as well.

This episode is a journey through Bob's personal struggles and the profound effect these experiences have had on his approach to finance and generosity. He offers an intimate glimpse into his life's challenges, from his college football injury and the uncertainty of cancer diagnosis to coping with the ripple effects of 9/11. These trials have taught him self-reliance and a deep understanding of fear – a force he believes can be mitigated by generous actions. He shares the moving story of Tim from Cannerford Sherald investment firm, who exhibited remarkable generosity before losing his life in the 9/11 attacks. Tim's spirit of giving continues to inspire Bob and forms a cornerstone of his philosophy.

We also delve into the societal implications of generosity, and Bob's belief that it is an essential trait that can foster a healthier and more harmonious world. He brings in a vivid anecdote about a tour guide in Israel who emphasized the importance of sharing, illustrating how the act of giving transcends cultural boundaries. In a riveting discussion, we explore how fostering a generous culture within organizations can attract top talent and loyal customers alike. Finally, Bob shares his insights on the journey of discovering one's life's purpose and the importance of living with intention. This episode is not merely a conversation about finance, but a profound exploration of generosity and its transformative power in our lives.

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Episode Transcript

Michael Devous (00:00):
Hey everybody, welcome to The Fearless Road
Podcast.
I am your host, Michael DeVous,and this week we are
interviewing Bob DePasquale,whose purpose is not just a
revelation but a practice, andhe puts the work in every single
day.
Bob and I also had theopportunity to re-record this
several times as we were havingtechnical issues getting this

(00:22):
off the ground, but I thoughtthat it was important to share
this episode with you duringthis time of generosity during
the holiday season.
With his book Personal Financein a Public World, Bob uses his
experience with thousands offamilies to share with you how
to make wise money andtechnology decisions and, of

(00:43):
course, learn how to be generous.
I think it's timely, I thinkit's important and hopefully it
matters to you.
Hey, by the way, if you likewhat you hear, if you love the
show, would you mind liking andsubscribing, maybe sharing it
with a few of the people thatyou care about this holiday
season, and they'd be great.
Oh, and get that gift, you knowfor everybody the book Personal

(01:04):
Finance in a Public World.
Everybody loves a finance bookfor the holidays, right?
That's the gift that keeps ongiving, so literally.
So why do I look like Mr Rogers?
Anyway, happy holidayseverybody.
Enjoy this episode from .
Again, I'm your host, michaelDeVous.
Like and subscribe and ofcourse, I'll put all the links I

(01:26):
can down below.
Much love to you and stayfearless.
Bye.
["fearless Road.

Bob DePasquale (01:35):
Podcast"].

Michael Devous (01:43):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to this
week in the house.
With me today is my specialguest, Bob DePasquale.
After a harrowing incident thatnearly cost him his life and
the amazing generosity ofseveral people to save him, Bob
DePasquale is embarked on ajourney to find out how
generosity can impact ourbusinesses or organizations and,

(02:07):
of course, our life Now.
He spent 15 years learning howto apply the giving and gifting
principles in his own business,and now it's his mission to help
others do the same by showingleaders of organizations that
have any generous culture and amindset will attract better
employees and better customers.
He is also known as thegenerosity guy, the founder of

(02:28):
the Initiate Impact FinancialInvestment and Management firm,
as well as his book that is outpersonal finance Everybody.
Please welcome Bob Pasquale.

Bob DePasquale (02:40):
Why call me, not the plug.

Michael Devous (02:41):
Woo-hoo.
I wish I could put like a laughtrack or an applause track in
there, because I feel like we'rejust sort of like where's the?
I hear you.

Bob DePasquale (02:48):
Where's?

Michael Devous (02:49):
the noise, but we're gonna bring the noise on
our own.
We're gonna bring theexcitement and the energy here
today on our own.
Finance and beer, the two bigFs I mean there's a lot that
goes on there, I would imagine.
So tell me a little bit aboutyou and your background.
Get us caught up for ouraudiences.
Just, I mean, I already knowBob, I'm familiar with him and

(03:11):
his work.
So that's unfair.
But to the rest of our audiencemembers and people that are
listening out there, give us alittle background story on you,
how you got to where you aretoday and why.
Generosity.

Bob DePasquale (03:23):
Absolutely, Michael.
Pleasure to be on the show heretoday, The Fearless Road.
Fear is one of those F's that Ijust despise.
I do not like being fearful,and so it's great to come on the
show today and talk a littlebit about the things in my life
that combat fear.
If you will and generosity isat the top of the list you talk
about my story, what's going onin my life and catching people

(03:44):
up.
Man, it has been a hecticcouple of months, if I'm being
quite honest.

Michael Devous (03:49):
Yes, it has.
Ladies and gentlemen, you don'tknow, both Bob and I have been
dealing with some technicalissues on both sides of the
trend, as well as issues at homewith construction and noise and
all these interfering elementsthat get in the way of us
producing this particularepisode.
So we have tried multiple timesand here we are, to give this
to you.
So hopefully today we nail itand if we don't forgive us,

(04:13):
we'll get there, we're gonna getit done today.

Bob DePasquale (04:17):
Ladies and gentlemen, that's right, we are,
and so you know somewhat,Michael, but I don't wanna be
that guy who makes it seem likeyou know, everything I've done
in life is some massive obstacle.
But to be honest with you thatthe past couple of months have
kind of been a microcosm of mylife.
You know, there's been a lot ofthings that have been thrown at
me kind of unexpectedly, andbut I, you know, over the years

(04:37):
I've learned to appreciate thosechallenges and they've
challenged me to overcome fear,and so I've kind of I'm
traveling that road as we go andI'll think you ever get over it
.
I think you learn how tounderstand it and learn how your
body and mind best handles it.
So yeah, I would be more thanhappy to talk to you a little
bit about my story.
Essentially, I'm a New Yorkerby birth but a Floridian by just

(05:00):
about everything else in life,and I live here in South Florida
.
That typical snowbird.
Exactly I was a snowbird.
When I was three years old, myparents chased my grandparents
down here and decided to justlive.
You know, decided to move.
So most of my family on bothsides is up there in New York
and my wife's family is actuallyfrom Michigan and man, is it
cold up there.
So we just love sitting downhere in our beautiful paradise

(05:23):
in South Florida.

Michael Devous (05:24):
Do you like sitting in those postcards
during the holidays?
Yes, that's what we do.

Bob DePasquale (05:29):
That's what we do.
Our little Christmas card everyyear is our holiday card.
Is us doing something more?
People, people complain.
Ironically, though, sometimeswe usually do go up north to
visit one of the families youknow one of the sets of families
, so I do get my taste of thecold weather, but yeah, I'm not
a yeah, just enough to get backhome.

(05:50):
Yeah, yeah, so Florida and mostof my life and you mentioned
about 15 years I spent in thefinancial industry.
I actually was recruited out ofbroadcast.
I'll tell you a little bit moreabout my education and my story
in a moment but I have amassive degree of broadcast
journalism.
I didn't really use it too muchfor many years in my financial
career, but I'm learning how toget back into it and use it more

(06:12):
, and it's such a pleasure ofmine now to speak with
organizations, whether on a youknow, on a recorded chat like
this or in person.
I mean, I just I loveaddressing people and having
some training in that field hasbeen a powerful force of what I
do.
And so you mentioned aboutgenerosity, and I had this
thought while you were, whileyou were talking a moment ago,
that I am so blessed and luckyto be in a career now that

(06:36):
really lends itself to learningabout the giving and generosity
of other people.
Like I just have to rely onothers to put me where I'm at
today, to put me in theprofessional situations that I
had today, and so I don't knowif I was always that person.
You know, when I was younger Ithought I was invincible and

(06:56):
this kind of leads well into mystory.
But I don't know how manypeople out there were, you know,
18 years old, and they thoughtthey were invincible and could
take on the world and nothingcan take them down.
You know, Michael, I don't knowif you felt like that, but I
certainly.

Michael Devous (07:09):
Yeah, bliss of youth, man.
I mean, ignorance is amazingwhen you're young and you just
don't know.

Bob DePasquale (07:14):
Yeah, and I thought, listen, I wouldn't go
as far as arrogant.
Maybe you can talk to some ofthe people that I grew up with,
but you know I wouldn't callmyself arrogant, but I was a
pretty confident person.
I thought, you know, even ifmistakes would come in my way, I
was so young and I hadopportunities and but it took me
, it took some reallychallenging times in life to
realize that you can't go to low.

(07:36):
You know you can't go throughthings and build your
professional career or even yourlife or your family by yourself
, and so that's been really,really powerful for.
So, speaking of New York andFlorida, I graduated from high
school and I thought I was goingto go back to New York for
college and I had three reasonsto go back to school.

(07:57):
One of them was thatopportunity to play football.
The other one was one of theother ones was because my family
was in New York and I reallydidn't know my cousins and my
aunts and uncles that well.
I was like what a coolopportunity.
I'll be able to go to schooland I'll be able to spend some
more time with them.
I always liked spending timewith them when we did, but I
didn't really know them verywell.
And then, finally, I supposeeducation was a reason why I

(08:20):
went up there.
Now, my parents probably wishedit was higher on the list, but
I had a chance to go to schoolup there too, and so little did
I know that it was going to beso cold, but that's another
story, and I actually spentthose four years of my life in
college in New York.
But the critical part of thestory and you know there's the
details, Some of them you know.

(08:40):
Michael and I had anopportunity to play ball, like I
mentioned, and you know acollege training camp is a
little bit different.
If you've ever played collegeball or you're going to be
playing high school while, youknow what a training camp is.
But it's a little bit differentin college, A little bit more
intense, it's longer, the daysare super, super long as well,
and early on in my I mean, I wasa couple of days into my

(09:02):
freshman season of playingfootball, trying to prove myself
to my coaches and my newteammates, and I had what I
thought was a pulled groinmuscle.
And so, lesson number one youthink you're invincible.
The first thing I realized isthat a pulled groin muscle is a
horrible injury.
I mean, forget how a footballfeels.
Oh yes, how do?

Michael Devous (09:22):
you, rick, can you?

Bob DePasquale (09:24):
pull the muscle down there.

Michael Devous (09:25):
Oh yeah, I tore my gracilis completely off.
I dislocated my gracilis and itwound up dislocating from my
groin down to my knee.

Bob DePasquale (09:36):
And then I had to have.

Michael Devous (09:37):
I had to have it in rehab because they didn't
want to do surgery.
They had to manually roll itback up into my groin to get it
to reattach on its own.
So there was this really bigAfrican-American gentleman who
was the rehab, the rehab coachor whatever that worked with me

(09:58):
and I would sit, you know, legsopen a Kimbo as it may be and
and and he, you know, he wouldapply ice sickles, big, large
popsicles with ice and stuff upand down it to sort of get it
cold and numb, and then he woulduse his thumbs and he would
slowly push it and roll thatback up, I mean all the way up

(10:18):
into the groin, Very, very, very, very close to my Great bases,
you know, yeah, and the painmanagement of that alone was,
was, was a, was a practice inorder to, because they couldn't,
they didn't put you on anything.

Bob DePasquale (10:33):
You didn't take any pain.

Michael Devous (10:34):
You just had to breathe through it.
So yeah, it's so a joke.

Bob DePasquale (10:37):
No joke.
So you know, and so that typeof injury is probably what they
thought I had and I was doingthese rehab exercises to try to
rehab this grim muscle.
I mean anyone out there and nowthat, now I know that, you know
I mean you can't sit, walk,stand, you know, rotate your
torso, I mean it's like there'sa really debilitating injury for

(11:00):
your groin.
Yeah, the muscles down there tobe to be heard.
And so my college level, youknow, like a graduate level,
rehab exercise was to sit onthis three wheeled stool and
shimmy across the training room.

Michael Devous (11:15):
Yes, yes, like it's almost like doing crab walk
, but you had to do the hips.
Yeah, the work, you had to work.
I know what you're talkingabout.
Yeah, I know that move Like.

Bob DePasquale (11:25):
I'm straight.
I guess it was supposed tostrengthen the muscles down
there or something.
I don't know.
All I know is that I lookridiculous, dodging people in
this crazy training room or anygiven morning.
And it was.
I mean, it was justembarrassing, to be honest with
you.
And one day the peak of myembarrassment was our, our
little head trader.
And I say little because I meanlegitimately he's a small guy
and he would have to stand onthis box in the middle of the

(11:45):
training room to try to geteveryone's attention.
And it just seemed like thatone moment when he was calling
me out I think it was just mebecause it was so embarrassing
but it seemed like it gotsuddenly got dead silent and
everyone in the room could hearhim scream across the room to me
and they called me Bobby at thetime and he was like Bobby,
quit being a weakling, you gotto get back out on the field and

(12:08):
I'm like Day man, like I'mthinking to myself weekly, like
you're five, six, 120 pounds,soaking wet.
I'm running around and I'mtrying to get a runaway from 300
pounders trying to tackle me.
I'm no weekly, I have a seriousinjury here, bro, and I ended
up having a more seriousconversation with him a little
bit later that day and heactually sent me to a doctor

(12:29):
because of me.
A week plus went by and it justwasn't getting any better.
So he's like all right, go todoctor, get some tests.
And you know, technically I'man adult at that time, man Like
I, you know it wasn't like I hadmy parents around or I had a
drive.
We lived up driving all overLong Island, new York, going to
these different tests and I hadultrasounds, catscans and ,

(12:52):
MRI's I mean you name it everytest in the book to try to
figure out what was going onwith my groin.
Come to find out it wasn't agracilis injury and I'll never
forget this.
These appointments were so longand if you've gone to the
doctor before, especially whenyou go to a new doctor, you I
mean you sit there and you fillout all this paperwork and
medical information and all thisstuff that I mean I can't even

(13:14):
answer those questions now in mylife.

Michael Devous (13:16):
Forget when I was 18.
Oh, and these weren't digitaldays.
This was the clipboard theyhand you with, like a packet of
paper this thick that you haveto hand write everything in
repeatedly at every singledoctor, yeah.

Bob DePasquale (13:29):
Yeah, and handwriting is.
Penmanship is not one of myskills.
I'm right there with you.

Michael Devous (13:37):
It's chicken scratch all the way.
Chicken scratch.
Yeah, I'm surprised they evenlet me in the appointments.

Bob DePasquale (13:40):
They probably thought I was writing an error,
but so I go to all theseappointments.
I'm kind of getting in a rhythm,like I think I always memorized
my parents you know membernumber on whatever their
insurance costs you want, and Iget to the last appointment.
I knew that we weren't reallysure what was going on, but this
is the last scheduledappointment and this was the day

(14:02):
that my parents had scheduledmonths ago to come up for my
first ever college football game.
Now, we knew I wasn't playingin the game at this point,
considering I couldn't run orlet alone walk, and so I, a
couple of days later, was thegame.
But this was a Thursday morning.
I expected to be in thisappointment for hour, you know,
at half the day, like typicallyI was.
And so I walk in the doctor'soffice and you know the doctor

(14:23):
was quiet as early in themorning, there's not much going
on and I walk in the room.
I mean it's like they werewaiting for me to be there, like
it was like I was the guest ofhonor.
I walk in the door andimmediately they called me up to
the desk and like, hey, robert,great to see you and we're, you
know, come right in.
I mean, they took me right intothe office.
I didn't even have a chance tosit down.

(14:44):
I don't think they take me intothe room there.
I sit down within 30 secondsthe doctor comes in, so it's now
.
I've been in this office for atotal of five minutes and it
seems to be really fast.
The doctor sits down, he looksme in the eye we're sitting
across a desk from each otherand he goes Bobby, you have
cancer.
Hey, how old were you?

(15:06):
18.

Michael Devous (15:09):
Well, they, I mean, they couldn't have been
looking for that.
No wonder, I mean, it must havetaken them so long to figure
out what's going on.

Bob DePasquale (15:16):
Yeah, they weren't expecting that and
they're.
And the crazy thing was is Iexpected to get a little bit.
You know, I mean I lovepodcasting, I love talking like
this.
I expected to have a little bitof conversation with the doctor
.

Michael Devous (15:29):
Like buy me a cocktail first, before you drop
a bomb.
Yeah like where's the drink?
So were your parents with you.
Were they in the room?

Bob DePasquale (15:36):
So the crazy thing was is my parents were
flying up to see my game at thatmoment, like I was in the
appointment myself and they wereon a plane.

Michael Devous (15:44):
Oh, my gosh.

Bob DePasquale (15:46):
And so the doctor looked at me and goes I
know you're probably in shock,but we're going to hook you up
with an oncologist.
You're free to go.
And that was it, that's it,that's it.

Michael Devous (15:56):
And I'm like no here's some pamphlets Like
here's a couple of pieces ofpaper that you know they always
hand you pamphlet.
Yeah, did you get a sucker oranything?

Bob DePasquale (16:05):
No lollipops, no lollipops, no jolly rangers
Nothing.

Michael Devous (16:10):
Your life is fucked and good luck.

Bob DePasquale (16:13):
Yeah, no literature.
I guess they thought.
I guess they thought I was incollege and I probably didn't
want to read anymore, but so Ileft the office.
I bet you were stunned, like Iwas like wow, I left in shock
and it was kind of crazy.
But the timing of this nextpart of the story is incredible.
So I walk out of the office andthen once again an office that

(16:36):
I'm not familiar with, I don'tknow where I am and I'm just you
know Limp out of the office.

Michael Devous (16:39):
You limping.
I'm disoriented to begin with,because I don't know where I'm
at.

Bob DePasquale (16:43):
And I'm in shock because I have cancer.
I don't even know what to.
I mean, I guess you couldassume, but I didn't really, I
didn't even come with.

Michael Devous (16:49):
But did he tell you what type of cancer?
Did he just say you have cancer, just said you have cancer.

Bob DePasquale (16:54):
What?

Michael Devous (16:54):
Oh, my God, oh my.

Bob DePasquale (16:55):
God, I think maybe he was trying to not
confuse, like trying to make itas easy as possible, like simple
maybe not easy, but simple.

Michael Devous (17:04):
Or I don't know.

Bob DePasquale (17:05):
Yeah, simplify it.
My brain is going a hundredmiles an hour and I walk out of
the building, but you're like,you're like, but what about my
groin?

Michael Devous (17:15):
Yeah, so how did you associate those two things?
Or were you just still spinning?
No, I just still spinning.

Bob DePasquale (17:22):
Honestly, Michael, like knowing me at the
time, I thought if I had anopportunity to ask him a
question, I probably would haveasked him when I could play
again.
If I'm being honest, Right,right, that's the mindset of the
18 year old, somewhat crazyperson, but also determined.
Most of my life up until 18 waspushing through and I was

(17:46):
raised in a very loving home.
But I was an only child andthey said you got to fend for
yourself, Like you got to getstuff done If you want things to
get done in the world.
You know, my parents alwaysused to tell me to fight for
something that I cared about,and so I had.
You know I was a prettyresilient person, so that was my
thought.
To be honest with you, If Ieven had one really.

Michael Devous (18:06):
And that there was no one else to lean on.
You know that you didn't havebrothers and sisters.
You didn't have like it's like,we're here for you, but the
buddy when you got to the world,it's you.

Bob DePasquale (18:15):
And that was my mindset.
A hundred percent.
That's a great way toarticulate.
I mean, I really didn't haveanyone that I was used to
leaning on, so I suppose thatwas good for me.
You know, I don't want to think, I don't want to say people
shouldn't have anyone to lean on.
That's certainly not the case,but at least maybe for me at
that moment it was, it was maybeit was good for me to kind of
have the mindset to just powerthrough.

Michael Devous (18:36):
Well developing.
Self-reliance is a skill setand the character building you
know, adventure it's.
Some of us did it because wewere simply stubborn, you know,
just stubborn.
It was like fuck the world kindof an attitude.
I'm going to do this regardless.
But but those of us who grew upwithout that support system, or
at least with the knowledgethat we really didn't have one,

(18:59):
developed that self-reliancemuch quicker and sooner, I think
.

Bob DePasquale (19:04):
And so I mean, the mind was just racing and the
moment I walked out of thatbuilding, really not knowing
what I was even going to do, Idon't even know if I knew where
my car was, but the moment Iwalked out of the building the
phone rang we did have cellphones at this point and it was
my mom and she was surprisedthat I answered the phone

(19:26):
because she expected me to be inthis doctor's appointment again
for, you know, a couple hours,at least an hour or so, yeah,
yeah, as all the other ones Igot.
And so I answered the phone andshe's like hey, honey, you know
I expected you to be in theappointment.
Thanks for answering, but justwant to let you know that we
landed, we're in the car, we'reon our way to your uncle's house
.
We'll meet you there.

(19:47):
How'd the appointment go?
And I said mom so about that,and obviously I had to tell her
what the doctor said and theonly thing that I could really,
I mean she was dead silent,screaming all at the same time.
You know, like it was such anemotional moment through the

(20:08):
phone, and the only thing Icould hear was my dad because he
was in the car with her on theother side and he was yelling
maybe not yelling, but to me itsounded like yelling.
But he's Susan, susan, which ismy mom's name.
He's like you know what's goingon, like even he knew something
was wrong by my mom's reaction.

Michael Devous (20:25):
You know to me, yeah.

Bob DePasquale (20:27):
And so we met back at my uncle's house shortly
after that and you know I hadonly child, you know somewhat of
a mom's boy.
I mean I had never been awayfrom old for six weeks like that
, or five or six weeks, whateverit was.
And so I mean I gave my parentsa big hug and kind of looked at
each other still in shock andshed some tears, said a few
prayers and we're like you knowwhat do we do now?

(20:49):
I mean, the 18-year-old,invincible kid suddenly has a
life-threatening illness.
It was really reallychallenging.

Michael Devous (20:55):
Well, yeah, and especially being sent home
without any paperwork or anykind of, you know, information,
informative packet of any kind,like your parents must have been
terrified.
They didn't know what kind ofcancer, they didn't know where
it was, they didn't know, I mean, other than getting old to that
doctor again, which you knowthey would have to wait, for
they must have been justfrightened.

Bob DePasquale (21:16):
Well, yeah, they were scared and you know my
parents will talk about it nowand really, I mean the stories
that they tell are really,really interesting because it
really challenged theirrelationship, because they had
never been so concerned aboutsomething before and when you
don't know, especially early on,like I said, it was.
Yeah, I mean there was a lot oftalk about fear.

Michael Devous (21:38):
I mean they were more filled from the house.
I mean that's the first thingyou think of is is it a death
sentence from my child, you know?
And to watch your parents face,that I mean while you were
already handling it, but to seethe terrified looks on their
faces when they don't have theanswers, it's gotta be very
scary.

Bob DePasquale (21:58):
And you said it exactly when they don't have the
answers, and one thing I meanit would be hard, but if they
knew they had to do somethinglike really challenging that,
they would have cut off theirarm to save me, and that would
have been hard, but at leastthey know what to do.
You're right, they don't evenknow what to do.
There were somewhat helpless atthis point.
So, yeah, that was a tough,tough time, Wow.

Michael Devous (22:24):
So you're, you've made it home.
I assume you didn't go to thegame that day.

Bob DePasquale (22:28):
So the game that was Thursday.
The game was a couple of dayslater and so we knew obviously I
wasn't playing and I, you know,and when it was an away game
and so you know, when you're notplaying in the game you don't
travel with the team.
So you know, I was so up closethere.
Now we ended up talking to theoncologist, I think probably the
next day, who happened to be.
By the way, this is part of thewhole collaborative generosity

(22:51):
story, but I don't normallymention this in the story just
because it's another detail.
But it's also interesting topoint out that my one of my
cousins' friends and she was inlike first or second grade at
the time.
Her dad ended up being myoncologist and so the way we got
connected with him and we wereable to talk to him right away.
So that provided a lot ofrelief for my parents.

(23:11):
But he told me to continue totake in classes, so I didn't go
back to Florida, I stayed in NewYork.
And so it's that Saturday, theday of the first game, and my
uncle's best friend comes overhis house and his day was Tim.
And we didn't know this guybecause, you know, we lived in
Florida.
And so he walks into the houseand he sits behind my aunt and
uncle and they didn't evenreally have a chance to

(23:33):
introduce him to parents.
He just knew who they were.
It's like he knew who they were.
He walked right over to myparents and he pulls his keys
out of his pocket and I mean itseemed like he was shoving them
in their face, but I mean he wasjust handing it to them and he
said Bob, it's Susan, here's mykeys, take my car, you can have

(23:55):
it for as long as you need.
I can't imagine what you'regoing through with your son
right now.
And I was thinking of myselfwow, that's the most generous
thing that someone's ever donefor me and my family.
And I mean I just couldn'tbelieve it.
I was like, who is this guy?

Michael Devous (24:11):
Yeah, that's an amazing, you know like to
recognize that you guys werethere, I'm assuming, without
transportation, because they'dflown up and he was like you
know what.
Here you go.
Let me just at least providethis for now.

Bob DePasquale (24:28):
Yeah, you know, and I like to talk about radical
generosity, and that's to me,that's something that you know,
that you do that someone elseprobably wouldn't.

Michael Devous (24:37):
And that was the unexpected kindness.

Bob DePasquale (24:40):
Who's going to give you their car.
I mean, that was just nuts.
And the crazy thing too was hedidn't even know us and he was
there for like 15 minutes and hejust left.
He did that.
We talked for like a minute, hesaid goodbye to my aunt and
uncle and it was gone.
Wow.
And we were like so he cameover just to give us a car.

Michael Devous (25:00):
So many of these incidents is were happening so
fast for you Like, within thespan of a few days, the instant
of being told, the instant ofyour parents arriving, the
instant of being generous, andthen just switch, switch, switch
, switch, switch.

Bob DePasquale (25:13):
You know it all was very fast, were you still?

Michael Devous (25:16):
spinning at this point, like was your head still
spinning, you hadn't made senseof it or absorbed it, or where
were you.

Bob DePasquale (25:23):
In mental Michael.
I have trouble making sense ofa lot of things in life, and at
18, I was not prepared to makesense of anything.
I mean, listen, I don't want tobe too self deprecating, I mean
I wasn't the dumbest kid, butat that point in my life it was

(25:43):
sports and, you know, hangingout with my friend I mean that
was what I was into.
So, like I wasn't reallythinking too deeply about
anything, I think it was morelike OK, this is just kind of
what you do, you know, wow, andI did.
However, what Tim did for usdid really stick out to me,
though.
That I gathered Like that Ipicked up on something about
that, and you know.

Michael Devous (26:03):
I don't know if that was.

Bob DePasquale (26:05):
You know, I don't think, to be honest with
you, michael, that that was justnatural right, Like I don't
think I had this special desireat that point in my life to
identify generosity.
It's a lot different now andit's what I do, a lot of, what I
do for a living, but I think it.
There's just something specialabout that moment hit me and
I'll never forget it.
I think about it all the timeand so and that was it, and Tim

(26:27):
was gone, and so, continuing thestory, a couple of days, a few
days later, I went to my secondever college class on Tuesday
morning and you know I don'twant to say a normal day.
I mean, obviously at this pointthings were not normal in life.
But I came out of my second evercollege class and I go to the

(26:48):
cafeteria to grab something toeat.
I had a breakfast burrito andI'm sitting there by myself
watching the news.
Now, I don't know the newsstation, I'm 18 years old, I
don't even watch the news, butit's what's on TV.
And add, one of those like oldschool tube televisions that's
probably eight inches wide andit's hanging from a bracket on
the ceiling, between the ceilingand the wall in the cafeteria.

(27:10):
I can't see the material thereand I'm watching the thing and
all of a sudden they flip tothis emergency and they show a
plane crashed into one of thetowers in New York City, not too
far from where I went to school.

Michael Devous (27:24):
Yes, yes.

Bob DePasquale (27:25):
And I'm like, oh man, that's you know what a
horrible accident.
It's terrible.
So I actually called my dad andsaid, hey, dad, you know, he
was back on my uncle's and he'slike, are you watching the news?
And he's like, hey, I'mwatching the news.
You see this plane.
And I'm like, yeah, it'sterrible, and it was, it was
riveting.
But in less than I mean, maybea minute later or so, bam,
another plane hits the towerright next to the first one, and

(27:48):
we didn't realize it at themoment, but it turns out that
September 11 terrorist attackswere happening right then.

Michael Devous (27:54):
Yeah, Most of us didn't know it, but the fact,
the first time I, when I saw thefirst plane I thought it was, I
thought it was a part of mybrain was like this isn't real.
What is this?
Is this some kind of a joke?
Is this some kind of amanufactured thing?
It just it didn't add up for meand I couldn't even envision or
fathom what it would take toget a plane to crash into a

(28:19):
building in New York, let alonebe cleared for that airspace,
Like all the different thingsthat my head was trying to add
up you would have to be able todo.
I wasn't thinking terrorists.
I was thinking, well, who woulddo that?
Nobody would do that.
Like you know, this is Americaand that, that's, I think,
that's that whole sense ofsafety that we that's assuming
of safety that we had at thetime came crashing down around

(28:41):
us at that same time.

Bob DePasquale (28:44):
I, I just didn't know what to think.
I was like, okay, that's kindof crazy.
And my dad said you better getin the car and get back to your
uncle's house.
That's not an accident.
So he knew something.

Michael Devous (28:53):
The car, were you in the car that that
gentleman gave you?

Bob DePasquale (28:56):
Yeah, oh, you better get back at his car and
and get back to the and get backto your uncle's.
So I hopped through the car.
I mean I, I sprinted out ofthat place as fast as I could
with my groin injury.
That that was no longer a groininjury and I I mean I just I

(29:18):
didn't finish what I was eating,that breakfast breed.
I was probably still sittingthere and I hopped in the car
and it took me nine hours todrive.
It was typically a 15 minutedrive.

Michael Devous (29:30):
Because everybody was on the roads
trying to get out of New York.

Bob DePasquale (29:33):
Yep, I'm in New York.
I'm, I'm driving.
I can see burning towers in thedistance.
I mentioned my master's degreeof broadcast journalism earlier.
I worked at a radio.
I loved working in it, but Ididn't like I would never listen
to nine straight hours of aradio again ever in my life.
But it was riveting.
I mean I listened to all thecoverage.
Oh yeah, no one knew what wasgoing on and I actually barely

(29:58):
got off the highway.
Thank God I was able to get offthe highway and I ran out of
gas just off the highway in myuncle's neighborhood and I
remember my parents calling myparents somehow, you know, back
then your cell phone battery.
You know you weren't on it likethe whole time.
So it lasted the day, you know.
So I still had cell phonebattery left.
I call my parents and said hey,you know I'm around the block,

(30:20):
can you come help me push thecar into the driveway?
So we pushed the car in thedriveway and I get out of the
car, and it was a very similarmoment.
So when I got out of the car,when the day I was diagnosed and
I looked at my parents and wekind of like were staring at
each other like Wow, you know, Iwas in visible Bobby, you know,
five days ago.
Then suddenly I felt like mylife might be coming to an end.

(30:42):
Now we think the world might becoming to an end.
I mean, it was just, it wasunbelievably fearful, you know,
just confusing.
You just didn't know what wasgoing on.
And so my aunt was hysterical Imean, she was even more
hysterical than we were, andbecause my uncle was on business
the night before and he wassupposed to come fly home that

(31:03):
morning.
Now he was in Denver.
Now we didn't, but we didn'tknow at the time that the planes
didn't come from there.
So we were, we were concernedthat he was on one of those
planes because he was flyingback to work, yeah, so maybe
eight o'clock or so, he callsand he's like hey guys, you know
, I'm really sorry.
I'm sure you've been panicking.
I'm fine, I'm alive.
My plane never took off, I'mgoing to be okay, I'll try to

(31:25):
catch a flight tomorrow.
You know, everything's fine.
Um, and then what we talked fora couple of minutes, whatever
we were going to hang up, and heended up saying you know,
before I let you go, I got totell you that you know my friend
Tim, who you all met just a fewdays back.
He was in the tower thismorning and he died, oh my God,

(31:45):
and that hit me like a ton ofbricks.
I mean, that guy, like I said,was just the guy who came over
and gave, gave us his car, youknow, for as long as we knew.

Michael Devous (31:56):
That's Tim.
Tim's the guy that came by anddropped off his car.
Yeah, my uncle's best friend atthe time.
Oh my gosh, and now he's gone.

Bob DePasquale (32:05):
So it turns out that Tim worked for an
investment firm calledCannerford Sherald, which kind
of brings my career in thefinancial space full circle.

Michael Devous (32:14):
Wow, and talked about planning that seed.

Bob DePasquale (32:16):
Yeah, right, and so Cannerford Sherald you can
go.
I would encourage anyone outthere to, especially if you want
to learn more about some of thelike behind the scenes.
One up behind the scenes, butsome of the, you know, human
interest stories of 9-11.

Michael Devous (32:31):
Yeah.

Bob DePasquale (32:31):
Cannerford Sherald was, is an investment
firm and they their main officeswere there in the tower, one of
the towers, and everyone fromtheir firm except their leader
his name is Howard Lutnik.
So if you YouTube the HowardLutnik press conference after
9-11, you'll see one of the mostemotional press conferences

(32:53):
from.
I mean I wouldn't call him aregular guy because he was a you
know, the leader of a massiveinvestment firm, but I mean he's
still a regular guy and he wasuncharacteristically late that
morning, would never not be inthe office but was taking his
grandkids or kids I think it washis son to school and just for
whatever reason that day,because his wife had something

(33:15):
going on and she could take him.
So he was was one of the peoplewho you've seen this some of
the videos of people runninglike they're on the street near
the, near the tower when itstarts collapsing, and he's one
of the people like running awayfrom the tower and he ended up
surviving at his pressconference.
He's like I lost everyone, likehe.
He's in such shock and soemotional that he just lost

(33:36):
everyone and Tim was one ofthose people and it turns out
that Cannerford Sherald and Timhimself were.
They were known for being very,very generous people, a generous
organization.
They.
They would donate office spacefor free, completely free, to my
uncle's foundation for cysticfibrosis, which is a disease my
cousin has, and so thefoundation had prime office

(33:59):
space in a towel in the in theworld traits are in New York
city because Cannerford Shelljust gave them the office space
and luckily, no one the onlyperson that would typically be
in the office that early for thefoundation was Tammy, and she
got stuck in the subway below,below the tower that day, and
she survived and she's got someincredible stories of her own of

(34:22):
how she made it out herself.
But I tell you that because Ithink about this a lot, Michael.
So Tammy, god bless she wasspared and she's still alive to
this day and can tell stories.
But for some reason, tim, itwasn't meant to be that Tim
would survive that day and Timand all the people I can ever
show were known for beingextremely generous.

(34:42):
And apparently Tim would saysomething to the effect of you
never know when your last chanceto be generous will be.
And if you've listened to mediaor or you know you're, if
you're alive in the world today,you've heard of the acronyms
FOMO and YOLO.
You know, free or missing out,or you only live once and you

(35:04):
know, just go for.
And do you know, do the daredevilish things that bullied me?
I'm totally cool with peopledoing things to.

Michael Devous (35:12):
You know to quench their thirst for
adventure.

Bob DePasquale (35:15):
Yes, but Tim would say you never know when
your last chance to be generousfor someone else's and it turns
out that our family was his lastchance to be generous and we're
super thankful that hecapitalized.

Michael Devous (35:28):
Wow, I mean, that's a legacy he left you.
How you know, how, the immensesense of responsibility you must
have felt to own up to and beresponsible for that last gift
of generosity and learning howto pay it forward.
Is that, do you think that'spart of the reason why it
planted a seed for you forgenerosity?
Is that where this all began?

(35:49):
And then you felt obligated, orat least I don't want to use
the word obligated, that feelslike that's uncharacteristic,
unfair.
But do you feel like it, likeyou just felt a sense of major
responsibility to his legacy ofgiving and generosity, to do
something with that.

Bob DePasquale (36:06):
Absolutely, and I think the seed is a great way
to put it, because it wasn'tlike you know, boom, I'm going
to be the most generous person Icould be and I want to go talk
with organizations aboutbuilding generous cultures.

Michael Devous (36:17):
It didn't happen like that.
Well, no, you still had to growup and learn.
You still had to develop a lifeand become an adult and
establish something with thefoundation.
But, but it was there, thegermination of the idea and the
impact of the giving and thatgenerosity in that moment it
must have been huge, do you Ihave to mean your family thinks

(36:37):
about his family to this day?

Bob DePasquale (36:40):
So Tim had three kids.
They were all very, very young.
I think one of them was aninfant at the time.
All of them, and I mean, it wasa terribly sad situation for a
lot of families.
So I don't want to make it seemlike there weren't thousands
upon thousands of people wholost their lives, but I'll never
forget meeting Tim's wife,because she wasn't there that
day that she came over.

(37:01):
And you know we're stillfriendly with her to this day.
And you know I understood at 18, I was old enough to understand
what she was going through,having lost her husband with
three young kids, and you know,a life to live.
And so I think about that timein my life, that whole period of
time from really from when Istarted going to some of those

(37:24):
tests, all the way up to the dayof 9-11.
Actually, you know.
So you're talking about a fewweek period of my life there,
specifically the five daysbetween the diagnosis and 9-11.
But you talk about a seed andI'm glad you said it that way,
because I live this is not anexaggeration whatsoever.
I think about that period of mylife every single day and I, I,

(37:50):
and until I become incoherent,I will think about it every day
for the rest of my life.
And now, some days it's a happy, some happy memories.
Some days it's a little moresomber, like every year on
actual 9-11 is usually a kind ofa rough day for me.
Yeah, but that seed iscontinuing to grow.
I mean it's, it's a tree now Imean I'll be honest.
but it's still growing up, stillpruning and still learning, and

(38:13):
so Tim absolutely planted it,but it's certainly certainly a
journey.
Well, the the.

Michael Devous (38:20):
These are one of those, those quintessential
moments where, if you stare intothe abyss long enough, you can
get lost in the, in the, in thetiming that had to occur for
these things to come together atthis particular set of moments,
for all of these things tohappen in your life.

(38:41):
It's almost unfathomable, or Idon't even know if the word, I
can't even remember.
I think you got it unfathomablehow it is that that, that, that
these lines of people's lives,these moments that were just up
by seconds, had to line up andoccur just at this, in this way,

(39:04):
for these set of events tooccur and especially to impact
you the way that they did.
I mean, that's not lost on methat I think a lot of us don't
have those kind of junctures andcrossroads in our lives to
reflect on.
They may be smaller and lessprolific and massive in terms of
their impact, but for you to bestanding at the crossroads of

(39:28):
so many lives and and and be thea survivor but then a person
who takes that in step with yourjourney and begins to make
something out of it, I meanthat's incredible.
That's it's.
It's no wonder that you're not.
You know that you haven't.
Are you writing about this?
Are you adding that?
I mean, I know you mentioned acouple of things in that you

(39:50):
know your finance book and stuff, but are you planning on
writing a little bit more of alike a autobiographical?
Autobiographical?

Bob DePasquale (39:58):
story to capture this.
So you're putting the pressureon me, but the short answer is
the short answer is yes, and youmentioned the word obligation
earlier.
I absolutely feel, you know, asense of obligation to share my
story because I think, yeah, Ithink I've learned over the
years.
I probably when it firsthappened, and even for for a few

(40:20):
years after that, I I wouldn'thave thought it could have, it
could be impactful, but Iunderstand that it is now
because I've had many peopletell me and so, yes, I do plan
on writing.
I have written about it and oncertain occasions of my blog,
but in some social posts I'mpretty active on social media,
but I have not put it all into abook and so that's gonna take

(40:43):
some time because, to be honestwith you, Michael, I feel like I
wouldn't be able to finish thebook right now.

Michael Devous (40:50):
And so maybe it's not the start it, but yes,
well, and I have a couple offriends who've had some similar
set of circumstances in theirlives who feel like the sharing
of that story in any way, shapeor form that benefits them
financially.
They feel bad about, like theydon't wanna benefit from it as a

(41:11):
result, and so I think there'sthis sort of they harbor, this
sort of like resistance tosharing it in that way, because
it is inevitable, I think, thatif you share it in a book form
or what have you, that you couldbenefit from it financially.
I think a lot of people feelreticent to allow such a thing

(41:31):
to happen.
But I think the story is soimpactful and so it's so pivotal
too, because in your journey tobecome the generosity guy, this
is how lives begin.
This is how journeys begin forus, when we really become and
step into fully, 100%, theauthentic version of our own
selves.
Right, which is not on a dime,it's not immediate.

(41:54):
It is a journey we finally getto when we realize all the
wonderful and impactful andmajor tragic things that happen
in our lives have set us on thiscourse.
And we now must pay attention,cause when we weren't paying
attention.
Shit was falling apart, shitwasn't working, things weren't
operating well, right, you know.
And then, all of a sudden, westart paying attention to all

(42:15):
those little times and all thoselittle signals, all those
little things that were coursecorrecting you and you start to
go with that flow.
You step into 100% who you'resupposed to be.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are instudio for this road podcast
with Bob Pasquale, who justshared an incredible origin
story with his fear, I think,where it began for him, with the

(42:38):
diagnosis of cancer in New Yorkat the time when 911 went down,
and the generous gift of agentleman, tim, who offered his
car at a life-changing moment,who was also lost in 9-11.
We're talking about moments,moments that change us, moments

(42:59):
that impact us, and moments thathave created for Bob a bigger
and more impactful journey.
We'll be right back, okay.
So you know we got literallydown the road with you, on so
many different paths here, toget to you, to where you are.

(43:21):
I don't wanna get too far fieldfrom the impact of that story,
but I also kinda wanna you knowI need to jump into some of
these questions but this impactof generosity, this moment of
this gift that set you on acourse.
We sit today in a society.
That is not how.
I would not describe oursociety culture today as

(43:43):
generous, I mean, and the mesort of.
I think it's a double edgedsword, or it's a two-sided coin,
if you will.
We are at a precipice of fearand scarcity, of dynamic
political divergence and a tornand non-unified community.
Right, do you feel a littlefearful about generosity?

(44:06):
How do you describe generosityin today's society, in today's
culture?
Where do you see it for usright now?

Bob DePasquale (44:14):
Well, that's an interesting question about how I
describe it in today's culture,because it is certainly
different than even the way Iexperienced it when I was
growing up, and certainly much,much different than it was years
and years ago.
And it's been around since thebeginning of time.
I mean, there are stories fromsome of the oldest writings and
scriptures in the world thattalk about generosity, and so

(44:37):
it's been around.
But yeah, it is certainlydifferent in today's world.
I think there's two things thatstick out to me the most.
Number one is and you kind ofalluded to it, I think
generosity has suddenly becomethe antithesis of self-support
and success and achievement, andthat one pains me.

(44:59):
That point pains me because Isee generosity as a
collaborative experience, and Iheard a message or a thought
from a tour guide that I had ona trip this summer, and we could
talk more about that trip too.
I was actually in Israel.
Considering all that's going onright now, I'm sorry that's
what we're talking about.

(45:19):
Yes, but our tour guide was asuper, tremendously nice
gentleman and he talked aboutthe difference between giving
and sharing, and it was reallyinteresting to me the way he
articulated it, because heessentially proved to me that it
doesn't matter what culture inthe world that you're in, that

(45:43):
we were built and made to sharewith each other and we don't
have to take each other down tobe successful.
When you talk about scarcity andthat the difference between
scarcity and the abundance mightsay, I think generosity
certainly falls, or it shouldfall, on the abundant side, but
for some reason we've got thisidea or thought that generosity

(46:06):
is something that is self.
Well, it is selfless, but Idon't think it's the opposite of
selfish, and so it's actually agood thing and it's proven.
I mean, I have data and I talkabout this all the time with
people and organizations thebest organizations are the most
generous and most giving.
That's the first point, and theother thing related to
generosity is I also.

(46:28):
This one also troubles me a bittoo, and this is kind of what
helped me make a transition fromworking for a large financial
organization to opening my ownfirm, because people were asking
me about this, and their bigconcern was that they're not
capable of executing on thegenerosity that they desire.
And now whether that's givingfinancially, which obviously in
my industry that's a big part ofwhat we do.

(46:49):
But also giving of their time,their intellectual property,
other resources that they have,and they just felt incapable.

Michael Devous (46:56):
And I just don't Sharing of themselves.

Bob DePasquale (46:58):
I think yeah, they think they're incapable.
And because it is related tofear.
I absolutely believe it'srelated to fear.
I talk about being on TheFearless Road Podcast.
People think that giving is afearful road and, if I'm being
honest, I've seen some peopletransform their lives, whether
it's financially or just theirlives in general by going down

(47:20):
the generosity road.

Michael Devous (47:22):
Yes, and I think that you know.
Going back to what you saidabout, there's a couple of human
condition things that we'reborn with that I believe is
natural for us.
One is we are built to dream ashumans, as small creators in
this world.
We are built to learn and Ithink, as you said, we're built
to share, to take that learningand to take that dreaming and

(47:45):
then share it with the world.
And I think what's happeningright now is we have turned a
corner in a lot of our culturesand societies, where learning,
dreaming and sharing have beendarkened, shaded, shunted,

(48:07):
shamed, pushed down it like Ifeel like those very natural
parts of who we are are beingleft aside or being cast aside
and not focused on, and I thinkthat's a very dangerous path for
us to be on.
I think we need to really thinkabout opening our hearts.
I don't think we would be inthe conditions and situations we

(48:28):
are Israel or otherwise if wewere bigger dreamers, better
learners and bigger sharers ofall of it.

Bob DePasquale (48:37):
You know, I agree, and the thing that comes
to mind, you know, when youmentioned those things giving,
sharing, learning it all comesback to collaboration.
For me, working together, it'sjust the beginning of time.
Humans have to rely on eachother to survive.
And so all of those things.
I think they happen to somedegree in the world, but it's

(48:58):
like an over-specialization orit's.
They don't work together asmuch as they should.
We don't need that.
Well, it's not a practice.

Michael Devous (49:05):
You know what I'm saying.
We're not practicing it Likethe businesses are practicing
the art of making money, schoolsare practicing teaching, but
there's not the art of learning,giving and sharing.
You know what I'm saying.
These things are not beingpracticed as a culture.
We're not doing that Like wemight do it once a year, at
Thanksgiving, which is coming upby the way, or Christmas, when
we're giving.
You know the spirit of givingsupposed to be in the holidays,

(49:28):
right but as a year-round dailypractice and mindset, yeah, I
think we're far afield frommaking that happen on a regular
basis as a culture and as asociety.

Bob DePasquale (49:38):
Yeah, no, I'm right, I'm right with you.
And they just they don't,they're not working together
anymore.
You're like it's absolutelyokay for a business to make
money.
But, part of contributing tosociety is giving with what you
have, and so I, if you'llindulge me, I have a quick

(49:59):
little thought or story aboutthis one.
So, I fly Delta a lot.
It just seems to go to theplaces that I want to go and I
noticed that in the jet bridgethe terminal, not the terminal,
the jet bridge when you go on aDelta flight, in most of them
there's various ads, and it'slike this for all airlines, but

(50:20):
one of them specifically is fortheir giving back, and I've
happened to have done someinternational work with an
organization called Habitat forHumanity.
If anyone's interested in goingoverseas hoping they open up
this program again, so you cango.

Michael Devous (50:36):
My dad worked with them helping teach kids how
to build homes.
That's so cool.
We got to talk about this.
Yeah, it was great.
It was very good.

Bob DePasquale (50:43):
I've had tremendous experiences, so much
so that I started leading tripsand we haven't gone in years now
because of the pandemic.
But anyway, that's a shamelessplug for Habitat for Humanity.
But I don't know Delta verywell other than I mean I know
there are planes and I fly themand I have my sky miles numbered
.
But it seems to me that that adis very kind of typical for a

(51:10):
lot of big, large organizations,that they check the box of
generosity, Like hey, we givemoney to Habitat for Humanity or
we send our employeesoccasionally on these trips, and
there's nothing wrong with thatstuff.
I think that's good, those aregood places in the world.
But what's the reason why theseorganizations are?
doing it, and so my teaching ormy thought, or the things that I

(51:31):
like to share are all about howyou need to make sure that the
people in your organization orthe people in your family, or
that the reason behind thegiving and the generosity is
truly there, and that it's notjust the kind of like you were
alluded to before.
It's not just this saying thatyou have to do or this
obligation.
It's something that should bepart of the culture, and I worry

(51:54):
that in today's society that,because we're over-specializing
and everything fit into thislittle box, because there's so
much information that it hasbecome this thing that there's
no culture around it.
It's just an item or just anevent.
And I always say thisgenerosity is not an event, it's
a mindset, and there's acompletely different shift there

(52:16):
.

Michael Devous (52:17):
Yeah, I was on a driving car with my dad
recently on a trip to goactually get my computer fixed.
He was asking me questionsaboutwe were talking about fear.
We were talking aboutmotivational speaking, about
consulting for corporations andcompanies and organizations,
about fear.
Specifically, he was asking howdoes this work into companies

(52:43):
and what they're doing?
Why do they need this?
And I said well, it'sinteresting that you asked this
because we've turned a corner.
Back 15 years ago, companieswere checking the box, meaning,
in order to appear that theywere good to society, in order
to appear that they wereparticipating in the community,

(53:04):
in order to appear on all ofthese things, they could check
these little boxes by puttingout promotional ads that said we
do this, we give back.
Here's our philosophy on X, yand Z.
Well, today we, the public, areso much more empowered.
We can hold you accountable tothat mission and that statement
and that strategy and thatpurpose.

(53:25):
If you don't, we will know itand, as consumers, hold you
accountable and we will changethe course of your stock value
and change the course of ourpurchasing and buying power If
you don't meet our standards forwhat it means to have an
identity and a philosophy and apurpose, and so now companies

(53:45):
are hiring people like you andhopefully me more to talk about
how to develop a cultural,philosophical soul, a soul that
has to be multifaceted, right,it can't just be one sided.
It has to be developed andstrategic in terms of who are
you as a company and how are youdeveloping as a soul, an entity

(54:11):
by the way, you have theability to be an entity in the
eyes of the government.
It was written there says youare an entity.
Then how are you impactingsociety and how are you
developing a socio-economic,philosophical and emotional
strategy mission that meets theneeds not only of your employees
but of the community at large?

(54:32):
And how do you follow throughwith that right?
You have to be able to identifyand not just check a box.
It's much different today andit's turning a corner.
I'm hoping to see in the nextfive to ten years because of
what you and I do, what otherpeople like that we do, even
fellow speakers that we know atthe Speaker Lab that are working

(54:52):
with corporations to do this,but also what society does in
holding companies, associations,organizations and corporations
accountable to doing better byus right.

Bob DePasquale (55:08):
I agree, and the work that we do, or at least
the work that I do.
I don't want to speak for you,Michael, but I trust strongly in
your mission.
But I'm not a sales trainer,I'm not a leadership coach, I'm
not a business consultant, but Itell you what all of those
things will improve if you havea culture of generosity around

(55:29):
your organization, and I'm onbias because you can't have a
mindset, you can't have a whatis the word?

Michael Devous (55:38):
You can't avoid the shift in your mindset if
you're operating from a place ofgenerosity, if you're
participating, thinking, working, mission driven as a company,
from a place of generosity, it'simpossible to work against the
altruistic nature of that veryendeavor.

Bob DePasquale (55:59):
Exactly, and I'll challenge anyone out there
who's.
Whether you're a leader in anorganization or you're the, you
know it's your first day in thejob.

Michael Devous (56:07):
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to I am
your host, Michael DeVous.
We got a little interruption inour tech and our signals.
Bob and I have been.
You know, at the beginning ofthe show we even mentioned it.
I think both of us are a littlecursed with this episode, but
we are determined to get thisfinished.
When we left off last time, Iwas mentioning to Bob we were

(56:31):
talking about generosity as acultural mindset in the
workplace, specifically withleadership and how, adopting a
mindset or working from thatparticular philosophy, you
couldn't help but improve yourorganization and the employees
in your organization if you'reoperating from a mindset, a
cultural mindset of generosity.

(56:52):
And Bob was mentioning that hewould challenge anyone out there
, whether you're a leader of anorganization or whether it's
your first day to stop thinkingabout generosity as just a
singular event.
So, Bob, will you please takeus from that idea that you were
and finish your concept, finishyour thought there.

Bob DePasquale (57:09):
Yes, I believed that generosity is a mindset and
not an event, and the greatestleaders and when I say leaders,
I don't mean leader and title, Idon't mean necessarily the CEO
or the president, although itabsolutely applies at that level
as well, but it could be justabout anyone in an organization
if you approach your work with amindset of generosity, rather
than thinking that generosity issome sort of event or something

(57:31):
that's required of you to bepart of an organization or
required of you to be consideredworthy, you're much more likely
in fact, I guaranteed when wewere previously recording that
you will find your organizationbeing more productive, because
what happens is people want tobe involved with organizations
like that, and it could be afortune buy-m挖 company.
It could be a small, what Ilike to call a small impact

(57:53):
project in your community.
People want to do business anddo volunteer work and do just
about anything with anorganization that makes them
feel like they're collaboratingfor something greater than
themselves.

Michael Devous (58:05):
And I 100% agree with you.
Of course I think I mentionedto you before.
I was talking to my dad on aroad trip recently.
He was asking me about thesethings.
He was specifically asking meabout my guests, but people that
I talked to and it's like whatdo they tell executives and what
are they?
What are they when they dothese speeches and stuff?

(58:25):
What are they sharing?
And I said, well, it'sinteresting, because we are now
entering a time and an era whenorganizations are now beginning
to develop a heart, a mind and asoul.
And it has to be congruent, andI mean congruent, it has to be
an alignment with what they'representing to society, what

(58:47):
they're presenting to thecommunity and what they're
presenting to their employees,because we now have the
opportunity to hold themaccountable to who they are as
an entity and how they serve,not just us, the employee, or
the widget makers and the widgetsuppliers, but how they serve
the community at large.
And if they are not inalignment with who they claim to

(59:07):
be, employees will feel thatdissatisfaction and they'll even
go someplace where they feelthat it's an alignment with who
they are and what their beliefsand what their philosophies are.

Bob DePasquale (59:18):
I completely agree with that as well, and the
word that stuck out to me whenyou just mentioned that was
disingenuous and I've maybe to afault.
When I was younger, I was theeternal optimist.
I always believed people whatthey said.
but I've learned over the yearsthat there's so many messages
and so many definitions ofsuccess out there in the world
that a lot of people are tryingto achieve something that they

(59:41):
may not even truly understand,and there may not be true mal
intent, but they displaysomething because they feel that
they have to, and they're notdoing it for the right reasons,
and so that's exactly whatyou're talking about.
Organizations that truly wantto be generous and have a
generous culture are the onesthat will actually be that way
and attract the people.
You can put up a front that ifI saw all you want on social

(01:00:03):
media and say things, but onceyou hire someone and they are
working in your culture, theyknow immediately if that's truly
what should be, and I got in adiscussion the other day with
someone about the wordauthenticity and I feel like
it's thrown out around a lot outthere.

Michael Devous (01:00:17):
We need to show it is our authentic, felt,
absolutely it is.
It's like a buzzword that justhas been used and abused
everywhere.

Bob DePasquale (01:00:26):
Yeah, and in this case, though, organizations
that are authentically like,truly authentic with their
culture are the ones that aregoing to attract the right
people, and you know immediately, especially for employees and I
also personally believe youtalk about your dad asking you
what people tell organizations.
I tell them all the time that agenerous culture attracts the

(01:00:47):
top talent and the most loyalcustomers, but especially the
talent, especially the peoplethat are working for your
organization.
They will know immediately ifyour generosity is authentic.

Michael Devous (01:01:02):
And this it occurs to me.
I was listening to NPR theother night and there was an
episode talking about security,security in America.
There's a couple of companiesthat are some of the biggest,
largest personal and privatesecurity companies, and then
actually there's one thatemploys over 300,000 Americans
and they're just third or fourthin size to Walmart, and they

(01:01:27):
had callers and people talkingabout the reason why they were
having so many issues with localsecurity, so many shootings, so
many bad apples, if you will.
And the security organizationhad said well, you know, we have
a hard time keeping goodemployees and we have a hard.
You know, we can't seem to keepgood staff and they change out
a lot so we can't get themtrained.

(01:01:48):
They were passing on theresponsibility for doing good
service and good work and goodtraining to the fact that they
couldn't keep good employees.
And I'm like you, literallyadmitted that you have a culture
where your employees A don'trespect you.
There is no philosophy thatthey're adhering to and they're
not doing good work and they'renot sticking around.

(01:02:09):
That's a you problem.
That's not a public problem.
That's not an employee problem.
That's not a staffing issue.
That's an internal issue withthe alignment, your misalignment
with your philosophy and whatyou are delivering to your
employees.
If you had and ran a goodcompany that paid them well and
what they were worth a livingwage, if you trained them well

(01:02:31):
and respected them asindividuals, if you treated them
and the society that they serveequally right, if the same
intention and the samealtruistic like you say,
generosity and respect, then youwouldn't have employees A not
in alignment with what yourservices and policies are, b
leaving you regularly and C notperforming up to expectations.

(01:02:52):
So I'm assuming that's what youbring when you do this training
and this coaching and stuff forexecutive leadership and stuff
in your workshops with them.
When teach, it's not just aboutwhere to invest your money, to
be generous and have a legacy.
It's really a philosophicalshift in the mindset and
practice right.

Bob DePasquale (01:03:14):
Well, 100%, and I love what you talk about.
You know, it's not just givingyour money, because that's a
part portion of it, and I willpoint this out too, because it's
probably a lot of people outthere that might be listening
and thinking well, you're youtelling me not to, you know,
give of our finances and not todonate to orgs?
I'm not saying that at all.
In fact, what I'm saying is, ifthe foundation of your

(01:03:35):
organization is well defined,whatever that is, however you
want to express yourself,whatever you think is generous.
What's altruistic is the wordthat you just used, Michael, but
not only will that help you bea better business, but it will
also help make it easier toencourage, to get people to
participate, for people in yourorganization to donate money,

(01:03:57):
all those other things that wethink of as chores that, like we
talked about, maybe doing it tocheck the box of generosity, to
make it, to give yourorganization the right brand,
they become suddenly much morenatural and simpler to get
people to participate in becauseit's part of the foundation.
They're not coming to worksaying, all right, I got to get
this project done or else we canget fired, or we got to hit our

(01:04:18):
budget deadline and then, ohyeah, the other thing that I
have to do when I'm done withthat is now I got to go
volunteer, now I got to go, youknow, do some of the project.
It's not like that at all.
In fact, it's all part of itand it's actually enjoyable, and
that's why people want to bepart of your organization.

Michael Devous (01:04:31):
Well, and I think you also are pointing to
the fact that once you begin theprocess of adopting a generous
mindset and a generous cultureright, once you begin to define
what that looks like for yourorganization as a leader, it
impacts your HR department,which means it impacts your
hiring, which means you redefinehow you hire, who you hire,

(01:04:52):
what you hire for, right.
The entire framework of yourorganization and how people work
for you and why they come towork for you now gets redefined.
Because you can't you can'tjust put it on a piece of paper
and add it to your messagemission statement as a footnote
and then and then not you knowexecute.
If you're going to execute, itmeans it's coming down, it's

(01:05:15):
trickling down, it's affectingevery department, the way that
it's defined, how you do thework you do, how you impact the
community and your employees,and I think I'm hopeful that
we're seeing a bit more of thatin our organizations and I'm
glad that you're doing that workwith them.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you'rejust joining us or you're
coming into the tail end of it,we're with Bob DePasquale, the

(01:05:39):
generosity guy who teaches andtrains and coaches and mentors
organizations, leaders andexecutives on how to adopt a
generous mindset and a generousculture that impacts the
philosophy and execution of yourentire organization, from the
top all the way down to thestreet and all the way to the
shelf.
If you deliver goods andservices, so pick up the book,

(01:06:02):
make sure that you get on boardwith him or hire him for your
organization, because it reallycan create some impactful change
In addition to that.
You know, in your September 5thblog, you wrote that purpose is
not a revelation, it's apractice, and you said that the
idea of finding one purposeoften leads to frustration and
endless searching.
People tend to expect a suddenepiphany or a life altering

(01:06:26):
revelation that will uncovertheir true calling.
While these moments can happen,they are rare.
Waiting for such an epiphanycan be a passive and
disheartening experience.
I love that you say findingyour purpose is a practice and
not just a revelation.
I know a bunch of us havediscovered and like oh my god,

(01:06:46):
this is my purpose.
I need to start doing this.
But once you do, you know youneed to create a practice around
loving, embracing and makingthat purpose a part of your life
.
Number one, number two forthose of us.
So let me.
These are two pointed questions.
One I'd like you to comment alittle bit about this statement

(01:07:10):
Purpose is not a revelation buta practice.
And two, for those of us whoare younger and haven't really
found our purpose yet and we'restill sort of in search of it,
how do we practice the art ofthat purpose when we really
don't know what it is, and howcan that get us to finding it on
our way?

Bob DePasquale (01:07:26):
Well, my response or commentary on the
blog article that you'rementioning is that that came to
me.
I remember writing that or, youknow, pushing through my
thoughts.
And I say pushing because, youknow, here I've been one of
those situations where you asksome really heavy thoughts and
you're trying to like sift yourway through what you, even what
you're doing.
So it came out because I hadjust experienced a couple of

(01:07:50):
different things, you know, bigchanges in my life.
I was thinking about what like?
What, the meaning like, why didthose things happen?
And it made me realize thatwe're not in control of all the
things that happen in our life.
There's thousands, millions ofexternal sources of forces
outside of us that don't thatwe're not in control of, and so

(01:08:12):
a lot of times those externalforces can contribute to some
kind of epiphany moment, likeyou mentioned or that I
mentioned in the blog article.
And so it can be easy.
I think that you and mine isdesigned to take shortcuts so we
can simplify and be moreefficient, and so it can be easy
to assume that all of theseexternal forces have come
together to form something thatwas actually your thought

(01:08:36):
process or something thatdefines your reason for doing
something.
It can be a good reason to tryand take on an opportunity, but
it's not going to give you yourlife's purpose.
I say purpose is a journey or apractice, because it takes time
for you to understand what'smost meaningful to you.
You don't try something for thefirst time and realize it's

(01:08:56):
your purpose.
You might realize you love it,and there's a lot of things that
I do in Michael.
I have plenty of hobbies in mylife.
I love all of them, but none ofthem are my life's purpose.
My life's purpose is to helporganizations build generous
cultures, but it took me a longtime to figure that out.
Yes, so here's your secondquestion.
If you are the type of personwhether you're young in age or

(01:09:17):
young in this journey of purpose, the first thing that I always
tell people to do is, whenthey're considering this, is
think about the things thatthey've spent the most time in
their life on.
And if you'd be so, I thinkyou'd be surprised at a lot of
what you write down.
I always recommend you write itdown.
Think about the places andtimes and things that you've

(01:09:37):
done the most in your life andconsider those first, because I
think a lot of us are a lotcloser to finding purpose than
we actually think, that weactually believe.
We're looking at going back toexternal forces, we're looking
at other things that people aredoing in the world and what's
being promoted and what theworld tells us is great, and
we're starting to think okay, Igot to be in the, I have to walk

(01:09:59):
in that direction, when maybeyou've already been walking in
the right direction.
So that was the firstsuggestion.
And then the second thing, orother things that you start
going on beyond, that is, takeopportunities, try new things.
If you're still struggling, yougot to look, and that's why
it's a practice.
So the practice is not aperfectly devout, desired habit
that you do for a half hourevery day.

(01:10:20):
The practice is actually tryingnew things and stepping out of
your comfort zone.

Michael Devous (01:10:24):
And I would add to this, like I'm like you.
There's a lot of things that Iloved to do and have loved to do
and have done because I likethem or love them or I'm just
good at it, but they're notnecessarily my purpose.
And I think I would add, inaddition to discovering or
taking a look at the things thatyou, you gravitate towards and

(01:10:47):
do easily and do well Duringthose times, can you name the
moments when you feel 100%authentically yourself and to
you feel recognized,acknowledged or appreciated in
those moments for being 100%authentically yourself?

(01:11:07):
If those two things happensimultaneously while doing
something that you enjoy and youlove, that actually might be
your purpose.
You might be able to make thatinto it, because you can do a
lot of things you enjoy, but youmay not feel 100% authentic
there.
You may not feel joy andhappiness while doing it every
single time, but if you can seehow many times there was a line,

(01:11:29):
I think that will pinpoint, youknow, connect those dots.
For me, when I looked back at itlast year and was looking at
what had come up was everyonewas asking me was like you land
on your feet?
Fear is not a thing for you.
You always seem to approachfear differently than everybody
else.
You seem to overcome it or befearless in everything that you
approach, and I just thoughtthat this was lip service.

(01:11:53):
I thought this was people beingnice to me, families being
encouraging, you know, you know,like you said, land on your
your own, two, you land on yourtwo feet, or whatever you know.
And and when I look back, Irealized I did have a different
relationship with fear.
I was approaching those momentsand those challenges and those

(01:12:13):
tragic changes and impacts in mylife very differently than a
lot of people were, and I beganto look at and examine why.
Then I began to look at okay,of all the things I've done in
my life, right, which momentsdid I feel the happiest and the
most joy while doing thosethings, and does that align with

(01:12:35):
the way that I treat fear?
And it occurred to me thatusing my skill set and
entertainment and broadcast andinterviewing people and talking
to people about fear became thething for me.
Like, I want to examine this.
I want to take a bigger, deeperlook at my life and at fear,
but I like the ability to beable to use all of these skill

(01:12:57):
sets to produce a show where Iget to talk to people about
their fears, I get to talk tothem about their journeys, and
that felt more in alignment withmy purpose.
And so this, this now, is mypractice, and you'd mentioned
before too, I think it was Areyou living it with intention,
right?

(01:13:17):
Not just accidentally doingsome of the things that come
next, or just doing the nextthing in front of you simply
because it's the next thing todo, or you just happen to be
good at it.
Or someone said, hey, you knowyou could do X, y and Z.
I realized I wasn't doing.
I wasn't actively working andliving and doing those things

(01:13:37):
with intention.
I was just doing them becausethey were.
They were what came naturallyto me, but they weren't
providing joy for me and theyweren't providing good service,
I think, at the other side, forthose individuals I was giving
them to.
I think it could have beenbetter if I was living with that
intention and that, practicingthat purpose.

Bob DePasquale (01:13:56):
I think the human body and mind are amazing.
They can sprint in, you know,short spurts and I don't want to
say fake it till you make it,but I mean something that's not
truly your purpose or joyful.
You can do really well and youcould support people.
You can even work in the fieldand do some really good work,
but for sustained excellence,not perfection, but for
sustained excellence and joyfulfillment.

(01:14:18):
I think it's key that you, thatyou find that purpose and
that's why I mentioned in theblog that it's a journey and not
a specific epiphany.
It just, it just impossible.
I've never experienced it thatway.
Anyone who's had some epiphanyand then suddenly it changes
their whole life and it's theircomplete purpose.
In fact, I challenge people onthat all the time when they I

(01:14:39):
see this a lot on social media.
I see people say stuff like oh,you know, my life was down in
the dumps and I was doingterrible and you know I couldn't
.
You know I couldn't pay mybills and everything was
terrible.
And then I heard this quote andnow I'm an online entrepreneur,
you know, making $100,000 aweek selling trinkets.
And I always ask them I say I'mnot saying you're not selling

(01:15:01):
trinkets for $100,000 a week.
But what was that moment thatcompletely changed your life and
describe it and I very rarelydo I get a good answer.
I hate to criticize people butit just.
It doesn't work like that to me.
It takes time.
You don't see the grind that itis, until you right, until you
recognize the result.

Michael Devous (01:15:20):
Well, and you know this is a great way to wrap
some of this stuff up we are ona journey, ladies and gentlemen
.
You're on a journey, you're onyour own fearless road and if
you want to maintain excellenceand in generosity, Bob
DePasquale is your guy.
He can bring the mindset, theculture, the shift, the change,
the questions that you need toask in order to bring a generous

(01:15:43):
mindset and a generous cultureand a an idea of excellence, a
consistency and excellence andperformance and finding your
purpose.
I encourage you to get outthere, get his book Personal
Finance in a Public World.
I encourage you to listen tohis blog, I mean listen to his
podcast or read his blog.
We've given a lot of tips andtricks and things here over this

(01:16:06):
, trying to get this episode out.
But before we, as we wrap thisup, you know, are there any
other things you'd like to leavethe listeners with some, you
know, parting message or a finalthought?

Bob DePasquale (01:16:23):
My final thought is this I'll share a quote that
I love and I heard it once.
I've heard it multiple timesnow, but I heard it the first
time, I think it was at aconcert.
I was a teenager, and the leadsinger said you may not change
the world, but you may changethe world for one.
And I've always remembered that, and I wasn't always working in
the generosity space as I amnow, but I'm more and more

(01:16:45):
realizing how relevant thatquote is in the work that I do
today.
So if you're someone out there,you're a leader in your
organization.
Remember, regardless of thetitle, you're a leader and you
may not change the world, butyou may change the world for one
person that you would caretoday.

Michael Devous (01:17:00):
And that's true.
I think we have to rememberthat the impact of what we do
might just reach that oneindividual who needs it in that
moment.
As I said before, there are nonew words, but there are always
new ears to hear, and what youhear here on , as well as on
Bob's podcast, is new and couldbe impactful and could change

(01:17:25):
your life and change thedirection that you are headed in
, and I think it's meaningful.
So where can we find you, bob,other than I mean just to let us
give us a little feedback?
I know that there's yourwebsite and your podcasts and
your blog.
Where can people get ahold ofyou?

Bob DePasquale (01:17:38):
Well, the website is https://www.
bobdepasquale.
com.
All of my socials are on there@Bdepa you can check me out.
And then, if you have financialquestions, initiateimpact.
com is our company and I wouldlove to do it.

Michael Devous (01:17:49):
Initiate impact.
Okay, the Ems are always open onsocial, so hit me up and we'd
love to talk about how generousyour day is yeah, and I will put
the links, of course, on theYouTube at the end of the copy
of the blog and the transcript,and, of course, on all my social
media and stuff that's goingout to promote this episode.
You will see it on there.
This episode should be comingout this holiday season as we

(01:18:11):
look at generosity and we thinkabout being grateful and being
generous to those of us aroundus, and we can make an impact
and change the world.
So thank you, ladies andgentlemen, for joining us yet
again, sticking with us as Boband I get this episode done.
Bob Depechevalet, the financeand generosity guy, thank you so

(01:18:31):
much, my friend.
I really appreciate you takingthe time really to make this
happen for both of us and I wishyou the best going into the
Thanksgiving holidays for youand your family.
Yeah everybody, Stay Fearless,be well, be kind to each other
and be generous.
Don't forget All right.
Thanks everyone, Thank you.