Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Michael Davout.
Hey there everybody, andwelcome to the Fearless Road
podcast, where we exploreentrepreneurial insights,
stories and advice on embracingfear, breaking boundaries and
achieving goals on the road tosuccess.
I'm your host, Michael Davout,and after years of overcoming
obstacles and tragedy, I beganto wonder how does someone
become fearless?
(00:28):
Well, that's exactly what we'regoing to find out.
In every episode, we dive intothe lives of individuals who've
learned to turn fear into fuel,face some incredible challenges
and cultivate a fearless mindsetwhile navigating their fearless
road.
So join me for in-depthinterviews with some amazing
people where we investigate moredeeply the valleys on their
(00:48):
road to success, because thevalleys are where character is
built, foundations are laid andwhere the fearless are born.
Welcome to the Fearless RoadPodcast.
And now we're back with parttwo of the interview with Maria
Faella.
When we left, we were askingthe question what it's like to
leave Broadway and literallymove into the woods.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, it's
interesting.
I mean, first off, I feel likethere was a lot of processing of
grief in that transition thatthe Plants really helped me with
.
You know, I don't know if Iwould have ever been brave
enough to walk away from mycareer if it hadn't been for
COVID-19.
So I was very, you know, I wasthriving in my in my performing
(01:39):
career.
I had just gotten off tour, Ihad gotten into another show in
New York city and COVID happenedand my show closed three nights
, three nights before opening.
Um, and this was a show, thiswas a theater that I had been
auditioning for for 10 years,like it was an ultimate dream of
mine that I finally booked it.
It felt so aligned my idol wasthe director of the show Like
(02:00):
there were just so many thingsthat were like, oh my God, this
is it.
And then it just got likeripped out from under me and my
brain kind of broke.
And then, obviously, likeCOVID-19, that will also break
your brain, and I lived in NewYork City, so that also just is
anyone living in New York Citylike the level of trauma that we
just had to process?
(02:20):
Living there is it's compoundedin y'all's's situation.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I say y'all because
I'm from the south.
We, we had land we can get outand walk.
We had 500 square feet.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, it was, it was,
it was rough and I also was
getting married at the time andso we had to cancel our wedding.
So in one foul swoop I lost myjob, we had to cancel our
wedding and rep and we uh had toreschedule our wedding three
times.
And then we also decided, onceI lost my job and I didn't
really have a means of incomeanymore because I had started
(02:52):
the podcast as a pure passionproject, like I never thought
that I would become a.
I didn't think it was possibleto like make money, like become
a professional planty podcaster,like what the hell that's so
weird.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So, um well, this was
pre COVID podcasting.
Most of us thought, oh, that'sright, exactly, unless you're at
like a major, you know, network.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
you can't really make
a full time living out of it.
So it was just supposed to belike something on the side for
fun that I was doing, um, and soyou know, I, I, I say that just
you know, to be verytransparent and honest, that I,
I had a lot of stuff taken awayfrom me at that time which
forced me to walk away.
It wasn't necessarily that Ihad this like very empowered
brave, brave.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
you know I'm in the
show and I think you know, no,
I'm, I'm leaving and I'm verywell, and let me interrupt you
there because, well, I don'twant you to diminish the
diminish the bravery that youfaced as a result of the
circumstances that werepresented to you.
I mean, everybody has differentcircumstances thrust upon them,
whether by invitation orintention, totally, and that
(03:57):
journey we take once we meetthat moment, what we do with it
from there were forward badwords is still brave and still
shows a certain fearlessness.
And I think, regardless of howit was presented to you and the
circumstances were brought toyou for your transition, you
still had to make the choicesand you still had to live
through those circumstances.
(04:18):
So please don't diminish thatfor yourself.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
No, I appreciate you
saying that actually, because I
think there were so manyopportunities when things went
wrong with the, you know, withthe podcast, with the book, with
this, with that, that I couldhave like totally given up.
And just, you know, I joke thatwhen I, when my show got
canceled, I just like drankAperol spritzes and cried in my
bathtub for 60 days straightLike I was a wreck for two
(04:43):
months.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
That was my COVID,
yeah, my COVID.
I didn't even have a room, Iknow.
I was like okay enough with theAfrol Spritzes.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Maria, like you have
a you're you're not on a good
path, so I did.
I was brave enough to be like,to pattern, interrupt and be
like okay, this is the, this iswhat life has given me.
What am I going to do with it?
Am I going to cry and just likestay unemployed and miserable?
Or are we going to like shakethings up and my, you know, my
husband and I decided to move inwith my parents for six months
to kind of just like reassess,and then we moved actually to
(05:12):
the woods, similarly, you know,to to the setup you have Michael
Out of an apartment in New Yorkand into the woods and off we
go.
Yes, exactly, we moved from 500square feet to five acres in the
middle of COVID.
At that point I had gotten mybook deal, so I was like, oh,
this is going to be great.
I'm going to move to this logcabin in the woods and I'm going
(05:33):
to write my book in the woodsand it's going to be amazing
which it was.
It was very cool, it was verypoetic.
So, yeah, so fear has played ahuge role in this whole
transition.
I like to say thatentrepreneurship feels like
you're walking around with noskin on.
You are so vulnerable.
You are so exposed, especiallywhen you're the center point of
(05:57):
your brand.
My podcast was me interviewingpeople, my Instagram, my socials
.
My book was a self-help bookabout my experience of using
plants to live a happier life,being so exposed like that in.
You know and I'm coming from acareer where I played other
people I didn't have to playmyself, I got to step into other
(06:17):
roles.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
There was fear
associated with that.
I had a lot of impostersyndrome.
I had a lot of impostersyndrome.
I had a lot of like no one'slistening to the podcast because
of what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Everybody's listening
because of the guests that I'm
getting and I'm going to jump inhere real quick because I, as a
former performer myself, Italked to Phaedra about this.
I think it was in one of ouropening interviews that she
interviewed me.
So both you and I are talkingright now about entrepreneurship
, right?
This is what the show dealswith.
We talk to entrepreneurs allthe time and this is our
listener base.
In order to be an entrepreneur,you have to expose yourself and
(06:56):
all of you to the world,especially in today's versions
of entrepreneurs, where brandingis you, you're the brand and
the founder story yeah, and thefounder story, yeah.
We have to be so vulnerable inorder to tap into that
creativity that allows us tobecome successful entrepreneurs.
And when we do that, when weget into that space and that
(07:18):
mindset, we're constantlyexposed, as though I struggled
with identity, in the sense thatI was so used to giving
everybody a version of myselfthat fit their need, that fit
their circumstance, that fitthat show.
I didn't know which coat of manycolors to put on this time.
(07:41):
I didn't know what to do andPhaedra had told me she's like
get rid of all of it.
Just try to be the mostauthentic version of you,
without that show voice, withoutthat persona, where you talk
like this all the time and it'syou know.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I didn't know how you
were big with the radio voice
at the start.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, I didn't know
how to turn it off.
I knew how to.
It was just so natural for me,did you?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
is that what you were
dealing with too?
I'm assuming that was where youwere A hundred percent and I
think only after over a year.
It took me at least a year ofnot being in the industry to
understand how toxic myrelationship with the industry
was and how I was this like kindof not, I don't want to say
worst case version of myself,cause I'm proud of what I did in
the industry, but I was socompetitive I had no self esteem
(08:32):
.
I had negative self-esteembecause, especially just getting
told over and over again you'retoo fat for this role, you're
not pretty enough for this role,you're not this enough for this
role.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, cassie, can you
please get back in line?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Right, exactly that
kind of thing.
So it was only after I startedactually getting out of the
industry and realizing what myreal personality was, because I
was just so obsessed with thecasting directors approving of
me that I was just doinganything I could to get approval
.
That's when I really like.
I feel like I got so muchfunnier, I feel like I got so
(09:07):
much kinder.
I feel like I've always hadthis big heart that all of a
sudden I was able to exposeauthentically that I wasn't
scared.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Well, it comes
through in your photographs when
you're promotional Very rare,you know this.
We see photographs all the timepeople trying to be funny and
look fantastic.
You know what I mean.
But your photos on your website, the joy and the laughter and
the energy that comes through inyour eyes, the light in your
eyes is so there.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Thank you, it's so
genuine yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
It's so genuine.
Yeah, thank you, it's sogenuine.
You can tell that it lights upyour soul and it shines out of
every pore.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Thank you, it really
does.
But I also think nature, ifyou're a listener and you're
going through this kind ofidentity crisis that I think a
lot of people go through,especially if you change
industries, especially in theStates, where your job is such a
large part of your identity,like when you travel talk about
Italy like your job is not partof your identity if you're
(10:07):
Italian but, like in the States,it is um, you know, spending
time in nature.
So nature is the ultimatenervous system regulator.
Um, we are nature, right?
Uh, we, I talked about this inmy book, but you know what?
Our ancestors, ancestors, ourgrandpa's grandpa, grandpa,
grandpa, the originator of ourgene pool, gene line they
evolved in nature.
(10:28):
They were in the woods, theywere one with nature and, as
society has evolved, we'vegotten completely disconnected
from it.
However, we crave our body, ournervous system, our cells crave
being in nature because we alsoare natural, and I think a lot
of us get.
I think part of the identitycrisis is we're so disconnected
(10:51):
from nature that it's harder forus to connect with ourselves,
and so, if you are going throughthis identity crisis, getting
into nature, going for walks inthe woods that was a huge thing
that I did, like I went forwalks in the local woods near my
house, near my parents' house,every day, just to kind of be
with my thoughts.
You know, if I had to cry thatday, I cried.
If I had to giggle that day, Igiggled.
If I had to be nothing like, ifI just had to walk with a
(11:14):
deadpan and just not feelemotions, I could do that.
And nature just kind of letsyou be who you are, where you
are in that moment, and I thinkthrough and can I that this?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I love that you say
this because this is one of the
things I highlighted.
It's my next question up andyou're doing such a good job
because you are tapping.
You must be tapping into what Iwas thinking because, ladies
and gentlemen, I took about 75notes from this book.
There's so much into this.
There's so much in this book.
It is so deep-rooted.
There's so much in this book,so great.
(11:46):
But one of the quotes I Iwanted you to tell me about and
you know that you've led me intothis uh, was on, I can't
remember the page.
Tell us about the time and theaverage of Americans spend A
indoors and expand on this ideaof attention, restoration theory
and forest bathing.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Sure, yeah, okay,
perfect.
So that is the story I wasgetting to Forest bathing has
anyone heard of forest bathing?
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I actually did before
I read the book.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yes, and I'm so happy
that people at least people
have heard about it, because Ido feel like some magazines have
talked about it.
Now it is kind of circling upto the top of culture and I hope
that everybody learns about it.
So yeah, before COVID, therewas a kooky study that was like
you spend 90% of your timeindoors, americans.
(12:37):
And now, after COVID, I can'teven imagine what that is and I
know for me as a you know, soloentrepreneur podcaster, like I
could spend, I could not leavemy house for three days.
I live in the woods, I work bymyself, you know I my office is
next to my bedroom Like I couldjust never leave my house, right
.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Well, how many of us
just learned how to begin doing
that in a deeper level, likebefore.
We spent all this time indoorsand in front of our computer
screens or whatever.
Now, with binge watching,netflix, with remote work and
everything, how much more of ourtime is exacerbated?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Totally so, um, yeah,
and so when?
Also, I think burnout is a hugeconversation right now.
People are so burned out, andso that's where this concept of
attention restoration theoryreally comes in.
It's a, it's a concept that ishad, that's been published by
some scientists.
The kaplan's a married couple.
It's been talked about about alot.
(13:35):
It's a theory.
So, you know it's, it's atheory, um, but it's about the
fact, the idea that there's twodifferent types of attention um,
direct and involuntary, and ournervous systems need both to be
at peace, to be at kind ofhomeostasis.
So direct attention is whatwe're using when we work from
home, or, you know, when webinge watch a Netflix show.
(13:57):
It's focused.
You have to block out externalstimuli to focus on getting the
job done.
If you're doing emails, ifyou're on a Zoom call, we're
using direct attention right nowas we talk.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
It is not limitless.
You only have a certain amountof it and it requires a lot of
energy.
Then there's involuntaryattention.
So our ancestors' ancestors'ancestors were able to access
involuntary attention mucheasier because they were
spending more time in nature.
But that's attention that cankind of just like wash over you.
(14:29):
Yes, you can focus on something.
It's like if you're going for awalk and a butterfly flies
across your line of sight, youcan take the butterfly in, you
can watch it and then keep going.
When we were kids and we wouldlay on our backs and we would
watch the clouds pass in the skyyeah, that kind of yeah and
pick out patterns.
Yes, that experience.
So that's involuntary, um, thatis restorative, and we have
(14:50):
limit, like a limited, alimitless amount of of capacity
to do that.
And what's happening right nowin society is that everybody is
using direct attention way morethan they should be and not.
We have to almost remindourselves to use involuntary
attention because it's not whenI read that, like just actually
(15:13):
what's funny?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
because last night I
read that section after Phaedra
and I had been on a Zoom calland a working call for what?
Three and a half four hours.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
No, not that long
yesterday, but yeah, I was
exhausted, it was a long day forus both.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Mentally, I was
exhausted and when I realized
that's what I was doing, I hadused up my direct attention
capacity, or whatever you wantto call it, and I needed some of
this indirect attention, someof this relaxed, restorative
stuff, and I'm, from now on,going to be putting it into
practice because I live out herein the woods.
(15:49):
I can get out of this space for15 to 20 minutes, walk in and
touch the trees and just givemyself a little bit of that back
.
How can this be and I'massuming you've.
Well, I mean, after the workthat you've done and the
research you've been working onand talking to people, do you
see levels of productivityimproving as a result of people
practicing this?
(16:09):
Have you talked to otherentrepreneurs and people that?
Speaker 2 (16:12):
put this into
practice and benefit from it.
I think I don't have like level, I don't have like productivity
measurement, but I think it'sreally how you feel.
So I can speak from my personalexperience.
A big part of my awakening,when I was starting to get, you
know, um, when I was starting to, uh, really get into plants,
(16:32):
was I would sit on my littlebalcony.
I had, you know, basil andchives, I had like a small
little pot of herbs and I wouldjust watch do drop from basil
leaves, like I would just zoneout and watch do drop off my
basil leaves, and that was how Iwould start my morning.
And, um, I just think when yougive yourself the space for that
(16:54):
involuntary attention, you aregoing to feel better.
I mean another, another thing Ithink about um, you know, we
used to go.
This is like so um, it's Idon't know if it's gross, so
pardon me, but I think a perfectexample of how, like now, as
humans, it's our responsibilityto find opportunities for
involuntary attention becauseit's not necessarily available
(17:16):
to us anymore.
We used to go to the bathroomand not bring our phones, like
we used to go read the back, youknow, you read the back of the
shampoo bottle, or you just kindof like, do your business and
zone out.
Or people used to say, like Iget my best ideas in the shower
that's because you didn't bringNetflix into the shower.
You know, or used to, but nowyou're listening to a podcast,
(17:38):
You're bringing your phone inand watching something, you're
listening to the radio, and youdon't have that opportunity
anymore and you're fried thatdisconnect, right, that we're
not disconnecting from thesestimulation things, these ideas,
right?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
These stimuli, yeah,
where, back in the day, you know
most of us, if it was stimulithat we didn't like, if it was
stimuli, you identified with itwhat it was and it was
commercials and we would pause,fast forward.
Or if you didn't have thatoption because it was pre-DVR,
we would mute and turn the TVdown, go do something and then
(18:13):
come back after the commercialand watch the rest of our
program.
That was disconnecting.
And using this other attention,this other energy, yeah, uh, as
a balancing practice and andtoday we're never disconnected,
it's in our hands, we're alwayshearing it, seeing it, yeah,
getting bombarded by, yeah, youcan literally you can literally
wake up and have no conversationwith your like.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
You can have no
rapport with yourself for the
entire day.
You can wake up because of youralarm clock on your phone.
Um, stay on your phone all day,binge Netflix until you fall
asleep and, like you've never,you ha, you haven't had one
original thought, because you'rejust stimulated and taking
things in and I kind of viewinvoluntary um, like involuntary
tension.
Or or, to me, spending timewith plants, to me they're like
(18:58):
one and one of the same is likeputting your armor on for the
day.
It's like putting you know yourprotection on.
Um, yeah, there's another.
I don't know if you want to getinto this or if you have other
chat or a few of other thingsyou want to talk about, but in
my book I talk about how you canlook at a plant before you look
at a screen.
In the morning that was like ahuge yes, I remember you talking
(19:19):
about that.
yeah, yeah, your routine I lovethat for people who are, you
know, too far down the rabbithole where they're like how do I
even you know, how would I evengo about finding more
opportunities for involuntaryattention, like leave your phone
alone in the morning, look at aplant, go spend time in nature
before you look at a screen,before you look at your phone,
look at your computer, look atyour emails.
(19:39):
It is such a simple thing thatis so hard to do and you will
feel so much better throughoutthe day if you do that one
little change in your morningroutine.
I promise this is somethingI've heard back from listeners
or readers that they've put itto practice or they've tested it
and really felt so much better.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Well, and this is
this, God you're so good.
Next question, which thisactually leads right into I was
going to ask you about,specifically for entrepreneurs,
aspiring entrepreneurs who arejust starting out out there
about tips and tricks and advice.
Three tips, tricks and advice.
And this mindful practice bythe way, you're going to hear it
, ladies and gentlemenmeditation, mindful practice,
getting back in touch with yourvulnerability and your authentic
(20:28):
self.
I mean, we can beat you overthe head with this thousands and
thousands of times.
You're going to continue tohear it on the show Fearless
Road podcast, because it works.
It's real and each of my guestsyes, sorry, each of my guests
has put into practice a certainaspect of this mindfulness in
(20:49):
order to help their career, andwhat Maria is sharing with us is
crucial to being in touch withyour true self, and when you are
out of that comes realproductivity, out of that comes
real creativity, out of thatcomes real creativity, out of
that comes real ingenuity, andthat's the gift that she's
bringing with the joy of I justforgot the name of it the joy of
(21:12):
Growing joy, growing joy,growing joy.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Well, and you know we
were talking about this in a
coaching group I'm in the otherday about how important it is
when you take a break to getoutside in nature, and even the
act of simply just putting yourhand and touching a tree, like
even for just three seconds,like it literally resets your
(21:35):
mind.
Yeah, so that when you get backin the office you've got this
extra level of being refreshed,you've got renewed creativity,
you're, you know, you have alittle more inspiration and you
know just such a small littlething.
You know a 10-minute walk andputting your hand on a tree and
(21:56):
it just like makes the wholerest of your day a completely
different scenario.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Well, we used to.
I'm trying to remember wherethis came from and when.
The first time I heard it whenwe were younger we weren't
talking the 80s People used totake their shoes and socks off
and put your feet in the grass,and my mom used to make us do it
put our feet in the grass andfeel the grass, and I used to
love the feeling of good grass,not Texas grass and I used to
love.
I used to love the feeling ofgood grass, not Texas grass.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
But real warm, loving
green grass.
But you're right, you would begrounded.
Yeah, I talk about grounding inmy book.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
I do it every day and
I was actually Phaedra when you
were saying that.
You know, you can literallyjust go take three deep breaths
on your lawn, like put your barefeet on your lawn and take
three deep breaths, and then youcan go back inside it could be
that simple.
And, Michael, you had mentioned,you know, meditation, I think.
I think in the mindfulnessspace it can be really
(22:52):
intimidating for people whomaybe are burned out and are
like I don't want to sit alonewith my thoughts, Like
meditation sounds awful, yes,and I can tell you a lot of
people I know who I've spoken toabout that and talked about
that.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
They're very sort of
like I don't know how to even
begin doing that.
But this idea of sharing amoment with a plant, which I
know sounds kind of corny andweird.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
But just a few
minutes.
It's moving meditation.
Yeah, it's moving meditation.
It's so much more accessible.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
And to me it's almost
like it's an aid, right, Like,
instead of contemplativemeditation, which is what most
of us think of like where yousit there and you kind of try to
empty your brain and just havelike time.
That's really hard for a lot ofpeople, but if you're sitting
there and you're doing, I mean,a task that can become mindless.
You know, like wiping down yourplant leaves, or you know,
(23:43):
checking moisture levels orwhatever, right Like, it doesn't
take a lot of focus to do that,but it's easier to quiet inside
your, to quiet your mind whenyou're doing a task like that.
So it it almost assists indoing that.
Like when I meditate, which isnot often, but like I have to do
guided meditations with like Iuse Headspace app.
(24:05):
Me too, I love HeadspaceBecause I can't sit there and
empty my brain.
There's too much going on andit's hard enough to shut it down
to go to sleep, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
So I love the
Headspace.
Well, I feel like I'vedominated, oh sorry, interrupted
.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I feel like I've
dominated this conversation a
little bit more than Fader.
Did you have somethingspecifically you would like to
ask Maria?
Well, you've read and stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
you know, I kind of I
don't have questions as much as
like there's a lot of thingsthat really resonated with me in
the book and you know to.
To touch back onto the pandemic,you know, when you said you
lost yourself, you touched onthis in the book and your mother
was the one who encouraged youto get outside and go on walks
(24:53):
every day.
And you talked to and Michaeland I were living together at
the time and we started doingsome walks and then, um, his,
his, and then he wound up doingmore work, um remotely, and so I
was kind of on my own um mostof the day while he was working
and so I would go out and walkevery day by myself and I found
(25:14):
this amazing like little naturepath.
Um, you know very close to thehouse that I would go out and
walk every day.
It was about like three and ahalf, four miles and I would
just go and walk and observingthe changes in the seasons and
just kind of getting back tomyself and getting that reset on
a daily basis Just really,really resonated with me,
(25:37):
because you talked about doingthe same thing and also about
how it helped you to find yourvoice again.
So is that something that youwant to expand on a little bit?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
And this concludes
part two of the interview with
Maria Faella.
Myself and my sister Phaedrawill be back in part three when
we discuss a little bit moreabout what it's like to find
your voice again.