Pat Brady: Fighting for Sobriety, Family, and Purpose

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My goal as a parent is to give my kids the

(00:06):
environment that is mostsuitable for preparation for
life. Right? Like, not comfort.Yeah. What whatever is that I've
learned to be the the bestconditions to be successful for
when I'm no longer there.
Yeah. Right? And, like, that'syour goal as a parent is just

(00:27):
prepare them for when you're notthere.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome to the Fuel Hunt

Speaker 3 (00:32):
Show. What's going on, Eagles? Welcome to the Fuel
Hunt Show. I'm Joey. I'm joinedas always by my cousin and my
cofounder, Drew.
And sitting to the left of me isone of the few, Pat Brady. I'm
pumped to have you here, man.Welcome.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Joey, thank you, Drew. Thank you for having me.
Long time coming.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Excited to be here, man.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Too long. Excited to be coming. Too long coming. So,
Pat, you are a pro fighter.Right?
BKFC, PFL, art of war champion.You're also a husband. You're a
father. You're an entrepreneur.You, like, check all the boxes
of all the stuff we

Speaker 2 (01:04):
like to talk about when

Speaker 3 (01:04):
we're on the show.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Right? We have a lot to cover, dude. A lot to cover.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
We have a lot to cover. One of and we will. One
of the things that I love aboutyou that is so special from
speaking personal experiences, Iknow a lot of people. I know a
lot of people with a lot ofstories.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
But you are one of the people that I know closely
that has a remarkable story ofrebirth. Remarkable. Probably
almost the most remarkable storyof rebirth

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
In my social circle.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Thank you. Thank

Speaker 3 (01:37):
you. I'm excited to dive into that today and

Speaker 2 (01:40):
how This podcast has to live up to a lot. All right.
Like, you just Wait.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
You just Wait till you wait till you go.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I'm excited.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
So, you know, specifically, like when we go
through your story, like twothings, like how a higher power
showed up, because that's one ofthe most remarkable things.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
To me about your story is there were, like, key
decision there were there werekey points in your story where
it seems as though a higherpower showed up and bumped you
back on a path or bumpedsomebody else in your path. So I
want to cover that. And then,you know, I'd also like to talk
a little bit about how yoursobriety shows up. And I don't

(02:18):
want to say it's balanced with,but shows up in those other
areas of your life that wetalked about as a fighter and
Yeah. As a father

Speaker 1 (02:25):
and Shows up and conflicts with. Exactly.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Right. That's why I didn't want say balance

Speaker 1 (02:29):
because yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Exactly. So there's, like, you know, a lot of
different places that I'mexcited to take it today. Yeah.
So you ready for this? I'mready.
I'm ready? So why don't you takeus back to what growing up was
like, the role that, you know,sports or football played in in

(02:52):
growing up. What was home lifelike? Like, set the stage for
what what what came later.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah. Well, my family originated from Southwest
Philly, right? So anybody who'sfamiliar with the Philadelphia
layout and and what happenswithin those regions. Southwest
was a pretty rough area, right?Like, it could be compared to
North Philly, right?
Mhmm. And, you know, I thinklike eight aunts, six uncles,

(03:21):
right? Just a bunch of them,bunch of Irish, you know, ticks
running around, sucking the lifeout of everything around them.
Know, my family, they were allfrom Southwest, the Brady's,
right? And when I was four orfive, we moved out to
Collingdale, right?
My stepdad, he brought myyounger brother and I out to to

(03:44):
Collin Dow which wasn't for.Jersey? No. No. Collin Dow is
Delco.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Delco. Delco.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah. Delco. But it it wasn't that far. It's
Delaware County but. Yeah.
You know, we were just tenminutes outside of Southwest
Philly. Yeah. Yes. Yes. It wasjust another zip code, right?

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Was there was there something that prompted that or
was it? I'm not sure. Like wegotta get out of

Speaker 1 (04:04):
here or? No. I'm not I'm not sure. Right? I was
young, but like a lot of peopleat that time were doing it.
Like there was a kind of achange of guard in the in those
neighborhoods. Right? And asrough as it was, it was getting
worse. And, you know, got myselfand my younger brother Lewis out
of Southwest and we moved upinto Collingdale, not far ten,

(04:28):
fifteen minutes away. Sure.
But, you know, and even in thatneighborhood of Collingdale, it
was it was rough, right? Like abunch of kids, right? Like
nobody was on their tabletshanging out, like playing
roadblocks, right? Right? Likewe were out in the streets
playing captured, you know,hockey, things on the street,
right?
Like, tackle football in theconcrete. It was just like what

(04:48):
we did, you know? And thatneighborhood, it was it was
tough, right? Like, we foughteach other. Like, your friend,
you could be punching each otherin the face over, you know, I
shot you.
No. No. You shot me. Like,right.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
But I was saying, mean, I feel like every
neighborhood in Philly's gotkind of the same Mhmm. Similar
story. I think varying degreesof the intensity of the
fighting. Mhmm. But I feel likeshit was going on at home Yeah.
For for kids. You know mean?Like, I know for me, it was. For
my friends

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Oh, for sure.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
In in in North Philly and then Northeast, things were
going on at home. And, like, youwent outside. You're playing
freaking stickball or you'replaying wire ball or something.
Something doesn't go your

Speaker 2 (05:25):
way. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
You're just gonna you're just gonna try to beat
somebody's face.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah. I mean, we're we're all out loud to have the
big feelings back back. Like,feel your feelings. Yeah. Can
hear that.
I was

Speaker 3 (05:34):
like, let

Speaker 2 (05:35):
him out.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
I said feelings didn't get turned on for me
until later on in

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I said to my my wife, we're watching my son's baseball
practice, I was like, we wouldhave never acted like that. Like
in blue collar Philadelphia,like, no kids acted out on the
baseball field, like throwingtheir hats or helmets. Like, my
mom would have came on there andbeat my ass. Like was Yeah.
Realistically, as I did it.
Like, there was no no tempertantrums we had. I had this at

(06:01):
home. Like you said, like, theywere got them from a long day's
work and they're like, don'tpiss me off. Get out of my face
or I'm gonna fuck.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
We weren't allowed. I wasn't allowed to sit on the
couch. Right. When my stepdad,we heard his truck. Like if we
were sitting on the couch, wegot off of the couch and we sat
on the floor.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Like

Speaker 1 (06:16):
he would come in off the couch, right? Like it was
that type of house.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
And my brother and I were, we weren't called by our
name. We were called boy. Oh, I

Speaker 2 (06:23):
get it.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
We just say boy. So like my brother, like if we were
upstairs and he'd say, hey, getdown here. We didn't know who he
was talking to.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Right? Like, so it'd be boy.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
And you know, that's.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
But you both moved, bro. You're both

Speaker 1 (06:34):
like, it's

Speaker 3 (06:35):
one of us. Let's go.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
We took, yeah, we stood attention. And that
neighborhood, it shaped mychildhood, right? Like you said,
seeing stuff at home, my mom,she's great today, right? But
like she was younger, right? Shewas in her thirties.
She was having fun. She camefrom a rough neighborhood. There

(06:57):
was a lot going on. There was alot of interference, right? Like
a lot of distractions, you And Iwas a step kid, right?
And it wasn't just, I wasn't theonly step kid. My mom had had a
son previous to me, my olderbrother Rob, but he had lived,
he lived with his father inJersey, in South Jersey. Okay.

(07:20):
Coincidentally, where I livenow, right? Washington Township.
My brother grew up in WashingtonTownship. One of the reasons why
we moved where we did. Becausehe lives there now still. And I

Speaker 3 (07:30):
was trying to make that Jersey connection.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
I kind of crossed the line.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Well, my wife is from Moorestown as well. So we we
kind of found a a middle groundbetween Delaware County and
Morristown. So we landed in agood spot, but that that
childhood definitely was, wasshaping, right, the my mindset
Your

Speaker 3 (07:49):
belief system.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Belief system at at a young age and I wasn't really
aware of it, you know? I'm awareof it now, right? So, I try to
implement some of the thelessons that I learned, right?
As a kid for my kids now. Right?
Because they don't have that.They don't have that upbringing
right now. So, I gotta.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
The resistance and everything in the streets you're
saying, right?

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's there's

Speaker 2 (08:11):
a lot

Speaker 1 (08:11):
of little lessons like what you don't say to
someone. Right? Like, you youdidn't say the wrong because
there were consequences, Right?You said something, you crossed
somewhere. I remember.
I've told this story before ifanyone's ever heard it, but we
were playing hockey and I gotinto a fight with this kid,
Jimmy, that lived around thecorner and, you know, he just
beat me up, beat me pretty And Iremember coming home and my face

(08:36):
was busted up and my stepdad wasthere and he's like, you know,
what happened? And I said, youknow, Jimmy got me. We were
playing hockey, you know, saidsomething or did something and
he got me. He said, you know,but like what happened? I said,
well, it was the skates.
Right? But Jimmy was older thanme. Like, three, four years
older than me at the time. Thatwas a lot.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
And he said, well, you think you would have beat
him if he didn't have the skateson? I said, yeah. He said,
alright. Well, let's go. Putyour shoes on.
So, we walk around that corner.Hey, you know, that's Jimmy
Jimmy and Pat got into it. Patthinks he would have done
alright without the suit. Jimmybeat the shit out of me again.
Right?
Shoot. But but that was themindset. Right? That was the

(09:18):
that was how things were done.

Speaker 3 (09:20):
And that's a that's a Bowen story if I've ever heard.
Yeah. Like a Bowen, like my dadand his brothers, my
grandfather. That's a Bowenstory

Speaker 2 (09:28):
if I've ever heard Yeah. That's

Speaker 1 (09:30):
and that's how like.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
That does not exist today for the youth.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
No, no. But I try to recreate I try to recreate that
with my kids now, like I wassaying with with the lessons
that I had learned. Right.Trying to look at them for what
they were and find the positivesin them.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
And then I try to implement them in my my sons and
say, like, hey, look, these arethese are things that you're
gonna encounter. These arethings to do and not to do.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
That I mean, that's my ongoing battle internally.
It's like how we don't my sondoesn't have the childhood
trauma. Like, he doesn't comehome to his mom and dad arguing
at the top of their lungs.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Like, yeah,

Speaker 2 (10:10):
how am I going to make him physically stronger or
well, yeah, he's in jujitsu.Yeah, but still it's still
facilitated. So I mean, I tryand implement things like

Speaker 3 (10:21):
I think

Speaker 2 (10:22):
I think

Speaker 3 (10:23):
he's practicing. You got him in competition. And
that's if you're talking aboutfacilitating, there's much less
facilitation and competition.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's all we can do is just facilitate. Can't act
like there's no real like notthere isn't no, but like it's
hard to get that real life

Speaker 1 (10:36):
experience to Well, look for me, right? So I have
three sons and we just had adaughter, right? So my 13 year
old, 10 year old, and then wehave a three year old who's
about to turn four next month.For me, it's conversations just
like we're having right now,right? Like, there's the the
recreation of the lesson as faras like learning how to

(11:00):
persevere like in martial arts,right?
You're in a bad position injujitsu. Like, you either quit
or you get out of it, right? Solike there's that that mental
hurdle that we're trying to likerecreate with martial arts. But
then like there's theconversation of just talking to
him. Like we are right now.
It's. Yep. Literal like not manto man but right. It's it's a

(11:23):
very It doesn't we don't.There's no hard feeling.
You're not in trouble. It's justa pure conversation.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
Let's talk through. Let's talk through

Speaker 2 (11:32):
this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
And I never had that right in that environment. Like
I didn't my mind wasn't sittingdown talking to me about
perseverance or like, you know,how to overcome or anything like
that. Like I didn't have that.For me, I had to put my hand on
the fire. Like if it's that hot,I had to touch

Speaker 3 (11:53):
it. Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
So you know, for kids, Drew, it's an ongoing
battle and it's you want I mygoal as a as a parent

Speaker 2 (12:07):
is

Speaker 1 (12:07):
to give my kids, the environment that is most
suitable for preparation forlife. Yeah. Right? Like,
comfort. Yeah.
What whatever is that I'velearned to be the the best
conditions to be successful forwhen I'm no longer there. Yep.

(12:30):
Right? And like, that's yourgoal as a parent. It's just
prepare them for when you're notthere.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yeah. So

Speaker 1 (12:36):
so it's it's a hard line because like, hey, dad, a
new computer screen or or a newbike or whatever it is, right?
Like, that new thing, it's like,yeah, you wanna give it to them.
Like and there are times whenyou do. Right? Yep.
Just because, hey. They're agood kid.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Right? They deserve

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Plus. New things.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
You also got you know, we we all do coming from,
you know, blue collar, middleclass homes. Yeah. You got that
in your past saying, like, okay.Now I can afford. Mhmm.
You know, when my when mydaughter asks, she can receive.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
You know, I can afford to do this. But you're
right. It's it's that balance ofwatching it and saying, like,
okay. It can't be because whathappens is it makes them more
comfortable than they arecapable. Yeah.
And then that's an issue fromwhere you're going, when I'm
going, when you're going.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Absolutely. And and what comes what what I found is
what comes with that item,whatever the situation is that I
outright explained to them,Look, dude, this thing was $500.
Yeah. Right? I want you tounderstand what I had to do for
$500 Yeah.
Right? Like you need tounderstand. So there's been days
when he's come to work with me,right? Like he's pushing the

(13:41):
broom, cleaning it up, runningthe shop vac, wiping the
windows, whatever he's So hesees it. He sees what's
involved.
It's like, our dude, now youmade a hundred bucks today.
Everything you did in thoseeight hours, you made $100,
right? Yep. Now, take that andmultiply times five. That's what
you need to do.
Yep. To get that item. Like,that's what's involved.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
See all.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Just this way, he doesn't get an item and he
thinks like it appeared out ofnowhere. Exactly. Because he
needs to be able to make thatrelation between item and work
and how it was earned, how cameto fruition. So for me, it's
more conversations like thatthan it is like, you know, him

(14:26):
doing a push up with me, likewith a belt over his back. You
know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Like, I have a parent. Parker

Speaker 1 (14:32):
has been

Speaker 2 (14:33):
playing my eight year olds are playing a lot of
Fortnite and like familiar withthey have the skin. Yeah. It's
like it's like an ongoingconsumerism culture built in. Oh
yeah. The game.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Roblox is the same.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
And he friggin sees it every time he lives on. And
he's like, he's like, I get thisskin. I'm like, all right, like
you get this skin. So I buy himlike the first one and they ask
for another one. And I justlike, I get this skin.
I probably just need to justlike get something every time
you want it. Like, I think heunderstands like the hard work
stuff, but I'm like, you justget it because it's there. So I
run five miles and he's like,like five miles or not right

(15:05):
now. It's like 08:00. Gets onthe treadmill, runs five miles.
He just like and I don't know. Ijust keep sending the ball
either. He want another one. Hehad to do Murph. Like, yeah, I'm
like, bro, like, he does.
He just like, will do anything.Like, I keep setting the bar
high because I'm like, oh, youwant to keep buying more? But
like, you got to the bar getshigher. But I mean, I don't know

(15:25):
if I'm if I'm like creatingdrama.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
I'm not whether you're right or wrong,

Speaker 2 (15:32):
I don't know. I saw saw that.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
How could you be wrong? Yeah. Well, I mean, what
are you doing wrong?

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Because I saw that I got the I can't take credit for
the hack because our boy, JoeDeSena, the founder of a Spartan
race. Mhmm. He said his kid wonan Xbox. So he made him, like,
rope climb the rope climbmachine, like, for, like, eight
hours. Like, he's, he's, like,rope climb, like, like a
thousand meters.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
I like your your look at it. Like, look, like, I can't
tell you if you're right orwrong, but I can tell you you're
kind of like on the right track.Like, that's the thing. Like,
you don't know the outcome, butyou know that the path is the
right one.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah. I mean, look. Who knows what's gonna happen,
right? You have no idea whatyour kids are gonna encounter.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
You can still do shit

Speaker 1 (16:14):
head too. And you're not there, right? The only thing
that you can do is know thatyour intention is in the right
place and that you're aware.Like, I use that word aware
because, like, there was a timein my life that, like, I was
totally unaware

Speaker 3 (16:31):
of what Self awareness.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Oblivious. Oblivious. Oblivious.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Of belief system, of the consequences of your
decisions, of you probably go onand All

Speaker 1 (16:37):
of it.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
I feel like all of us are that way.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah. And

Speaker 3 (16:41):
then some of us, the consequences that we have of our
decisions are much greater thanothers.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, there's an entire, you know, group of
people, I don't know how else touse a word to explain, but there
are millions of people out therewho just in existing, looking
through their eyes, having zeroclue what it is that their goal
or purpose or intentions orramifications or anything,

(17:06):
they're just doing.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
They don't care.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Just like an ant building of an anthill, right?
Like they're just existing,right? And I was in, I was
there, right? Like I knew that,I know what that looks like.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
I'm not a huge Napoleon Hill fan, but Napoleon
Hill calls them drifters.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Mhmm.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Like, people that are just drifting through, like, the
rhythm of life, like, thatanthill. You know what I mean?
And not understanding how thepurpose behind what they're
doing and how what they're doingaffects others, essentially.
Yeah. You know I mean?
So let's so we took a reallyvaluable tangent there into
which I wanted to take into intofatherhood. Let's bring it back
a little bit. So when we openedthe show, I said, look, you

(17:45):
know, pro fighter, art of warchampion, father, husband,
successful entrepreneur, I'm I'mI'm giving you all these
accolades that you've earned.People think, when they hear
accolades like that, that you'vekind of had it all together
since day one. They think thatmaybe you don't have a plate in
your face.
Maybe you didn't break yourback.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
Maybe you didn't, you weren't in, you know, active
addiction. Maybe you weren't

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Screws in my ass all the time.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Right? They think that, like, oh, well, this guy
has made the right decisions andbeen so self aware from the
beginning to gain all thismomentum to propel him to this
place when most of the time Imake the argument. Most of the
time, it's actually theopposite.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah. It it has to be the opposite. It, like, there's
there's that ying yang. It hasthere is no other way. Yeah.
Right? There's there's no otherpath.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
To be that squared away, you gotta be out of
square. Like Correct. For a fora while. Yeah. You know what I
mean?
You gotta be out

Speaker 2 (18:40):
of to be out square.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Like like a a sword was once just a slab of metal.
Right? Yeah. It has to beforged, and it has to be, like,
beaten into form.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
And So let's let's bring it back. Right? Let's
steer back to, you know, theneighborhood. We were talking
about the lessons. You know,what to say, what not to say.
For me, when I was growing up,it was how to read people. Like,
that's how I learned how tounderstand and read people,
because I didn't want to get myass beat in the neighborhood,
because I wasn't super tough.Yeah. So when I walked to school
in the morning with kids, I hadto read if their dad beat their

(19:10):
ass before Mhmm. We left thehouse.
I had to read them and look atthem, their body language, their
posture. Because I knew then ifI said the wrong thing, I was
gonna get a beating. Right? So,like, you learn those lessons.
We're recreating them for ourkids.
Mhmm. How did those lessons thatyou were learning in that
neighborhood at the time, howdid they start to manifest in
your life?

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Well, I don't know that when I was encountering
those those types of situationsthat I was as aware as to what
was going on. I don't think Ireally became aware as to what
was going on in my childhoodtill, right, I got sober at 32
years old, right? Like, so a lotof what was going on, I was a
drifter, right? Like, I was justexisting and I don't know that I

(19:50):
was really capable of reading aroom, Like, I knew that there
was right and wrong, and I knewthat I was doing a lot of wrong,
but I was always rationalizingit. So like, as a kid, you know,
I was getting in trouble a lotin school.
Right? We had these thingscalled think sheets, right? That
if you broke a rule, you wouldget a think sheet. And then

(20:12):
you'd have to bring the thingyou'd have to write down what
you did wrong, what you would dodifferent. Right?
And what you're what you'regoing do, whatever the setup
was, right? So, yeah. She,right? So, I

Speaker 3 (20:23):
would. What age is this when you're. I mean,

Speaker 1 (20:24):
elementary school, elementary school, right? Like,
first through sixth grade,

Speaker 3 (20:29):
right?

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah. Middle school was seventh and eighth, right?
We had these Harris Elementary.We had these think sheets.
Right?
So

Speaker 3 (20:35):
In theory, not a bad practice.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we I was getting them all the
time. Right?
Dump shit. Right? Taking apencil, throwing it into the
drop ceiling. Yeah. Stupid.
Right? Also for, you know, rollmaking a paper clip chain.
Right? Lasso on it on my buddy'shead from across the room. Yeah.
Right? Just dumb stuff. Thatway, it's an interruption.
Right? Like, you're it's adistraction.

(20:59):
The kid's trying to learn.Right? This is the And I'm over
here being, you know, And so Iwould get these things called
think sheets, and you had to getthem signed by a parent then
bring it back to school. And mymom was signing them, but, she
didn't give a shit. Like, hereis this.
Here. You're like, this looks

Speaker 3 (21:16):
like good home. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Gotta smoke some weed out. The teachers picked up on
that, like nothing washappening. Like nothing's
changing. And then they said, wewant your stepdad to sign it
now.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Really?

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah. Yeah. So I started having to get his
signature, and he kept the-

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Did you try to forge it first or no?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
No. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I wasn't that smart.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
Well, you also said that you were kind of
rationalizing you wrong. Soyou're probably

Speaker 1 (21:44):
thinking like, Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, so my
stepdad, he was a landscaperduring the day, and then he
worked at Fitzgerald MercyHospital at night, environmental
services. So he would workpretty much

Speaker 3 (21:56):
all day, And

Speaker 1 (21:58):
he had this journal, this marble new book that he
would write, like his laws thathe cut and how much they were.
And when I would get a thinksheet that he had to sign, he
would write in his book a time,right? He would put like one
minute, thirty seconds. And thenat the end of the month, he
would add up the time and it wasme and him in the basement,

(22:22):
right? Whatever bullshit mylittle brother was up to.
And it was like, that's it.You're getting a whooping. Yeah.
And my mom would yell down,don't hit him in the head. Don't
hit him in the head.
But like, that's where like, IThat takes to

Speaker 3 (22:39):
a new level. It's not like just getting your ass beat.
We've all gotten our ass beathere as kids. Yeah. That's like,
you got a clock running down.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Dude. A clock

Speaker 2 (22:47):
running Is it like a fist or is it like a-

Speaker 1 (22:48):
Well, yeah. That was the thing. He would say if you
tell your mom I hit you in thehead, like it's gonna get worse.
Now, I don't ever specificallyremember a closed fist, but they
felt like it, right? Like, butthey were beatings.
And my brother and I, we learnedto like split up in the basement
because he could only get one ofus at a time. He had this old

(23:10):
turn, white turn style Yeah,timer, was

Speaker 3 (23:15):
kitchen timer.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Then you knew your time was up. So like, my brother
and I would like communicatefrom across the room. They're
like, John Jack, it's over.Like, what do you got? Like,
because we both had our owntimer.
Yeah. Like, because it wasdifferent, right? So

Speaker 3 (23:28):
I would,

Speaker 1 (23:29):
like, yeah,

Speaker 2 (23:30):
that's hard. Like, I could never do that to my son.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah. I just couldn't.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
No. Like, is that

Speaker 1 (23:34):
like The basement there is our parents

Speaker 2 (23:35):
not love us? Like, is that Nah.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
I think they were doing they were doing the best
with the manual that they had,man. I just didn't get it.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Right. There was no was no doctor Phil. There was no
fucking doctor Phil. They weredoing Exactly. He would probably
have the shit kicked

Speaker 2 (23:49):
out of him

Speaker 1 (23:50):
when he was good at it. Look, he's no longer with
us, He overdosed, He died aloneon a couch, on one of his
friends' couches, right? Well, Imean, look, I went my way,
right? He went his way. He madehis choices and hurt people all
around them.
So those were the choices hemade. Yeah. So, you know, I

(24:14):
don't

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Are you ever grateful for it? For like Of course.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Every lick I took, I'm grateful for. Right? And not
that to jump around a lot, butwe're kind of setting the stage
for as to like what brought medown the wrong path that I was
on. Yeah. Right.
And like me seeing these typesof behaviors and thinking that
they were normal, like notknowing any better and going

(24:40):
back to reading a room, like Iwas on tilt all the time. So I
didn't know, like if I wasreading a room or like, like
what I'm, I was always insensible ways. Right?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Like hypervigilant.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah. So, know, these types of things, right? Like
where I get my name, the brickfrom, right? The story, like he
bought me with a brick, right?Or just talking back.
To go back to your question,Drew, like as a part of my
sobriety, right? You have tokind of be grateful for

(25:16):
everything that you have. Right?If you're okay with the way that
you are now, you have to begrateful for everything the way
that it went. Yeah.
You have to be aware that if ifone item changes, it changes the
dynamic of everything after it.Therefore, changing who I am now

(25:36):
and if I'm okay with who I amnow, then, what's the matter
with with happened in the past?

Speaker 2 (25:41):
It's hard to have that reflection sometimes
though. You have that whenyou're kind of in the rough of
it or going through the hardtime, it's kind of hard to have
that perspective.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
You're going through it at that time. Yeah. Now, when
I go through things that what Imight consider hard times,
right? Like, aren't. Right.
That's just to me, I recognizeit as a pity party now. Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's like,dude, what are you talking
about? Like, you're upsetbecause you have too much work?
Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're upsetbecause you don't have enough

(26:14):
time to to prep for a fight oryou're upset because, you know,
your your wife's busting theirchops because you need to spend
more time with the kids becauseyou're either training too much
or you're working too much orwhatever that dynamic is. Right?
Like, but ultimately, like,that's not something to be upset
about.
Right? Like, that's that's justa pity party and like it it

(26:36):
sounds silly. It it's for me, myeasiest go to, right? Like my,
if I want to snap out ofwhatever pity party I'm having
for myself or whatever situationI'm deeming difficult or not
difficult, it's a cheap, easybailout is I just picture myself

(26:59):
a parent sitting in chopsomewhere and all that parent
wants is for their kid to not begoing through what they're going
through. Right?
Like they don't care aboutmoney. They don't care about a
fight at Wells Fargo. They don'tcare about anything. Only thing
they care about is getting theirkid healthy and getting their
kid out of out of that bed. Soit's like, if I can just take

(27:23):
whatever it is I'm goingthrough, put myself there and
go, well, you're not there.
So whatever it is you're goingthrough isn't that bad. Right?
That practice right there for mehas been like,

Speaker 2 (27:37):
that's great.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
It just instantly you snap right out of it.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yep. It's fine. I mean, was a parent for for,
like, two weeks. Yeah. Like, Ididn't know that at that moment,
like, for those two weeks, Iwould have gladly taken my
problems from today for anyamount.
You know what mean? Like, anyany amount. Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
We're running around here a little bit.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
No. That's that's that's perfect. That no. That's
perfect. That's I

Speaker 2 (27:59):
wanna know how you go from shithead kid to, like,
entrepreneur, business owner.Yeah. What comes first? Like,
fighter business? Like

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yeah. So look in high school I mentioned I played
football. Right. Like I playedfootball for Collingdale as a
kid. A lot of football.
Right. Football for me was wasthe the one consistent thing in
my life. Right? Like, and Ithink a lot of that was
attributed to the coaches thatwere on that team, right? Like,

(28:30):
or the teams that I came upthrough, right?
They made sure that I got to thegame, right? Like, were times
when they were like, I sleptover a coach's house the night
before to make sure that I wasthere, that uniform was clean.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Did you start playing freshman year?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
So I'm talking about weight football as a young kid.
Right?

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Like Okay.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Young, like, weighted football, like 70 pounders, 80
pounders.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 (28:50):
I played eight years of football before I even like
before even.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Was that your stepdad getting you into that? No.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
That was kids in my neighborhood. Maybe one kid
played and then I went out thereand then that was football was
just it. I walked myself topractice. I wouldn't have to put
my

Speaker 2 (29:07):
own in You had to pay for that, though.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Like that, right? Those clubs? Again, the coaches
were there for me.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
They were they were. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah. It was Look, maybe that was my saving grace.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
From what know about your stepdad, might probably
like, I'm not I'm not paying forthat shit. There

Speaker 1 (29:24):
were other things that that were more important.
Right. Yeah. I don't 100%remember exactly, but maybe
early on, they had to, right?But then, like, at a certain
point, I remember being a kidstanding at the registration and
one of the coaches came over tothe lady that I was talking to
at registration and saying like,no, no, we got we got this one,

(29:47):
this one.
Don't worry about this one. AndI remember that, right? I would
just assume that that happened.Over. Yeah.
More

Speaker 2 (29:58):
often than that. That's awesome. Right? You're
there by yourself? Oh,

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah. Mean, look, this was something that right? I
learned how to put the pads in.My mom didn't know football.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
I learned how to put the pads in. I learned how to
adjust the strap on the helmet,which is a pin you need to pull
on again, off again. Right? Ilearned how to boil my
mouthpiece. Yeah.
I got a scar right here on myham because I was hungry and I
opened up a a I I went to weighins. Right? We we weighed in,
and then my game wasn't for,another hour and a half. And I

(30:28):
ran home because I was so hungrybecause I had to make weight
that I opened a can of chili andI couldn't get it off and I like
grabbing on the Yeah. Can and Isliced my hand wide open.
Yeah. So I go back afterscarfing down this can of chili
and I go back to the coach andthe coach

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Lightheaded, loss of blood?

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah. The coach is looking at my finger and he's
like, ah, get some tape. Tapedup and I played that game where
I got taped up bloody finger.And like, you know, it's not a
normal looking scar.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how you can remember.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
To answer your question, like, kind of
football, football in highschool, I got a DUI my junior
year in high school. Right?Yeah. And, you know, the
football coach was my homeschoolinstructor because the DUI, I
crashed. I was like a mess.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
I couldn't go to school. Bad deal. Okay.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah. Yeah. And they I had to get homeschooled and
that teacher was one of myfootball coaches and he gave me
straight A's that mark appeared,right? Like. And God's honest
truth.
Without those straight As, like,I don't know that I would have
gotten through that year. Yeah.Yeah. Like, I was just all over
the place. Yeah.
Then, you know, my next year, Iwas just skating by by the skin

(31:37):
of my teeth.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Were you back in school that next year? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Yeah. Yeah. That was 02/2003 at Academy Park. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
I feel like I mean, you've been you've been with us.
You've been with Fuel Hunt Mhmm.Since damn near the beginning. I
mean, damn near the beginning.Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Feels like

Speaker 3 (31:51):
So you know yeah. You know that, you know, we're a
community. When we talk to whenwe have when we have guests on
the show, when the few come onthe show, and they find, like,
that, like, north star, thatthing that they can be
consistent with, that kind of,like, begins to, like, pull them
out Mhmm. Or towards whatthey're meant to be, there's
always a community aspect to it.Like, there's always it's never

(32:13):
like, oh, hey.
Listen. I did it on my own.Mhmm. There's always people that
were there, a community tosupport them. You know what I
mean?
And that's what I'm hearing herewith you, with your coaches.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
And it sounds like not just in the beginning, but
like through like a good part ofthe journey.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah. You know what? It's funny you said because I've
never thought about that, right?Like, I've kind of always looked
at it as like it was somethingthat I was doing and I had some
help along the way. But I neverthought about it as like a
cumulative community.
Like it was this coach and thenthis coach and then this coach.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
I mean, that's why we're so passionate about it
here. We've experienced it.We've heard it enough, You know?
And that's why I think ourdefault was when we saw a
problem. We were like, okay.
Well, we gotta build acommunity. Yeah. Because we're
gonna need that, like, forcemultiplier to help everybody and
then eventually change theworld, which sounds crazy, but
kinda it's kinda starting yeah.Why not? Right?
You know?

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Did you I'm just curious about those straight As.
Did you, like, deserve thestraight As? Or, like, did you
give like, like, washomeschooling, like, a game
changer for you? And you werejust like

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Well, not really. I mean, no. Diana deserves
straight As, but he was myfootball coach and he kind of
saw the writing on the wall.Right? Like, he came to my house
and was like, let's get this kidthrough.
Right? Now the following year,right? Like, it's not that I got
straight As again, but, like, Ikind of like, okay, here's a

(33:31):
little bump I need.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
There's a curve.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
Sure. Yeah. Right? So now, like, I can, like, if I
don't fail the classes, I cangraduate and essentially, that's
what it became. It's like, don'tfail.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
But it was it was a struggle, right? We bounced
around a lot, right? At thatpoint, my stepdad had left. So,
I was bouncing around a littlebit with my mom, staying here a
little bit, staying there alittle bit. And if you can
imagine like a kid in highschool bouncing around.
One of those

Speaker 3 (33:57):
formative, demanding times for

Speaker 2 (33:58):
the kid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
And and I had taken a job working where my stepdad had
worked at the hospital, atFitzgerald Hospital.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Right. And I was doing third shift. Oh, I was
sleeping in closets. Yeah. I wasdoing third shift and, you know,
I would go to school.
I had to be at school at 07:22and then get done at, you know,
fifteen or whatever. And then ifit was football season, would go
to football practice, go home,try to sleep a couple hours.

(34:28):
Right? And then I had to be inthe hospital at eleven, right?
So I would go in at eleven, youknow, maybe I had 10 different
job days, clean this floor,collect these trash cans, buff
this floor, whatever it was.
I would hurry up, try to get itdone, and then try to find a
closet to go sleep in for

Speaker 2 (34:44):
a little

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Right. Just and and that at that time for is what I
needed. Right. Because I wasgetting at the time, bucks an
hour was a lot

Speaker 2 (34:52):
of money

Speaker 1 (34:52):
to go to high And

Speaker 2 (34:54):
you're rich in high school.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah. And look, I was able to, buy a car. At the time
it was like prepaid minutes on acell phone.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Prepaid card. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
So I could buy like this little voice stream, which
is now T Mobile, right? I couldbuy a prepaid mobile card And,
you know, I had a cell phone. Itwas cool, right? But like that
kind of started to, right, likethat coupled with my stepdad
making us cut lawns when we werekids, like go cut this lawn.

(35:25):
And, like, we didn't get paideither.
Yeah. But, like, go cut thisgrass. That's kinda where, like,
my work ethics started to getresults from working. Right?
Like, I started to see therelationship between work and
results.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
And and and kinda like freedom because you're the
more efficiently you buff thefloor, collect the trash cans,
swept the floor Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Yeah. Faster I got to sleep.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
To sleep in the closet, which is what you
needed. So you start to saw seethat tie between work, you know,
work and freedom.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that, you know, transitioned me
into college. Right? I had totake some prerequisite classes
at Delaware County, and then Iended up going to Widener,
right, where I played footballat Widener.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 (36:07):
And, you know, that that was where what business

Speaker 2 (36:09):
you what business

Speaker 1 (36:10):
you play? Okay.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
During the the high school experience, I gotta
imagine at some time at somepoint, you you you alluded to,
like, smoking a little weed orsomething. Yeah. I gotta imagine
during high school, at somepoint, alcohol came on the
scene.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you got a DUI. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I got

Speaker 1 (36:33):
a DUI. Yep. Right? Like, we didn't we didn't really
do because you're grinding.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
You're like, you're playing football. You're working
the jobs. But are you youdrinking during this? And then

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
On the weekends, we went and drank in the woods.
Right? Like, I had a car. Like,that means I

Speaker 3 (36:47):
don't know

Speaker 2 (36:48):
if kids still do that. Do you have those, that
keg bars? Basement

Speaker 3 (36:51):
shit now. I don't

Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah. I don't

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I have woods. I have not tell

Speaker 1 (36:55):
you. I'll you what. I'll tell you in a couple years.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
My brother my brother just started his freshman year
in college. I I don't think heever did a keg in the woods.
Yeah. We did beer

Speaker 1 (37:02):
balls.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Beer Beer balls.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
The pump always broke and we always had to cut the
thing up and get the cup in it.But yeah, I mean, look, the
drinking was a part of of highschool. Right? Yeah. I didn't
real we didn't really do drugs.
Right? Because we never was wenever really had enough money.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
I think that's that's one of the things that I think
people like, misconception with,like, the areas, like areas in
Philly, areas like, it's likealcohol. We like, there's not a
ton of or at least when we weregrowing up there wasn't a lot of
ton of like drugs. Like that wassuburban shit.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah. For sure. Like that was like the richer kids
had money for access and stufflike that. A lot of a lot

Speaker 2 (37:41):
of I went to school, high school in the suburbs and a
lot of the kids that are likepassed on, they're dead today.
Like they're from that area andthey would go down to they would
travel down to Kensington andbuy the stuff.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I I've had friends that passed
away. Right.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
I got to imagine it like at some point alcohol hit.
I mean, don't know, maybe theDUI was just like a bad night
or?

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Well, no, it was always a bad night. I went to an
after prom party up themountains. It wasn't even my
prom. Right? And a girl invitedme out there and

Speaker 2 (38:16):
I was

Speaker 1 (38:17):
chasing tail. So I went up there and there was a
group of kids there that I hadbutted heads with in a previous
situation and they got me.Right? They got me good. And,
you know, I got jumped and thenI tried to drive home and I
passed out from loss of blood.
Right. Cause they, they, they,that's where the titanium plate,
my orbital comes from.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Right. And I got cracked with a pool cue in the
face and yes. Yeah. Well,

Speaker 2 (38:43):
yeah. Did you know they were going be Well,

Speaker 1 (38:45):
I knew they were there, but I didn't give a shit.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (38:48):
Do you think it was going happen?

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah. Say that again.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
You didn't think anything was going to happen?

Speaker 1 (38:53):
No, I guess not. No. Or nor did I care. Yeah. Sniff.
Yeah. I'm chasing one thingonly, but I'm chasing I'm
chasing the old money. Yeah.Exactly. So it's I was on the
hunt.
Yeah. Yeah. Right? And itapplies to all areas of

Speaker 2 (39:09):
the market. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
And

Speaker 3 (39:12):
so you get jumped. You're like, okay, I gotta get
out of here. But I'm imaginingYeah. I know a little bit of the
story, I'm I'm leading you alittle bit for transparency. But
you're you're busted up.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
I'm busted up

Speaker 2 (39:23):
pretty good.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
And you're drunk.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
And I'm drunk. Yeah. And a lot of it is blurry. Don't
remember all of it, but Iremember moments of it. And I
remember the girls that I waswith, like leading me to the
car, right?
Like opening the door and like,Get in the car. Closing the Oh
my god. Like get out of here. Iremember I had a gold Nokia

(39:49):
phone, right? With the faceplate, the removable face plate.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
I remember it, sure.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
And I remember like trying to like look at it with
one eye with the neon greenlighting up, And I'd called my
girlfriend Jill at the time andI was trying to like say
whatever it was. And she hadtold me later on that she was
hysterical crying because likeshe could tell that something
was wrong. But this is where Iencountered my higher power for

(40:16):
the first time. And I didn'trecognize it then, but I know it
now as my first meeting with myhigher power. Because, you know,
I drove home and I was uptailmanting trials, and I hit a
tree in the middle

Speaker 3 (40:31):
of I was gonna say nothing around. There's nothing
around it.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Nothing. Nothing anywhere.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
And I'm imagining this isn't 9PM at night. This

Speaker 1 (40:38):
is like No. Yeah. Whatever time. 03:00 in

Speaker 3 (40:40):
the morning. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Yeah. Park Ranger is driving down the street for no
reason that night. Right? For noreason. He's in an area just
dry, right?
And he sees me crash on the sideof the road, hit a tree and
pulls over and he explained itto me as I was walking around
the car, dragging my ankle, justwalking around the car dragging

(41:08):
my ankle. I don't know what thehell I was trying to do. But,
you know, sat me down and theycalled an ambulance and the
ambulance took a while to get tome and the ambulance, the EMT
said, like, this kid's gonna dieand can't really see it that
well, but there's a scar thatstarts up here and and runs all
the way across my face.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Mhmm.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
All the

Speaker 1 (41:29):
way across my face and across right here. And I
didn't completely sever, butthere's a vein artery that runs
down here that was puncturedthat was pulsating. Yeah. Yeah.
And the EMT is like, this kid'snot gonna make it.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Yeah. Because you're not I mean, up there, as far You
need, like, trauma center. Yeah.There isn't really one around
there.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
No. So they drove me to a field, and the helicopter
came and picked me up in thefield and took me to St. Luke's
Trauma Center in Bethlehem.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
Or you're like, It's a waste. Like you wouldn't have
survived

Speaker 2 (42:08):
the No,

Speaker 1 (42:09):
no. Was 18. I just turned 18, right? So I was 18 my
junior year in high school andthey they took me to Bethlehem
where they lost me twice in thehelicopter and once on a trauma
table from loss of blood. Icoded.
And I don't remember any of it,right? Like, I remember a little

(42:33):
bit about the helicopter ride. Ithink I remember cracking a joke
because at 09:11 had, like, justhappened. Yeah. And like, you're
out of it.
I think I remember kind ofcracking a joke about being in a
helicopter, but just theselittle glimpses of memories. And

(42:54):
they bring me to St. Luke's andthey call my mom that morning
night. And they told her, Wehave your son's body here.
Right?
The chaplain called her and hewas like, we have your son's
body here. And that's the onlyinformation I have is that your
son is here and I'm not quitesure if it's his body or he's
here or what, but this is allI'm able to get through to. And

(43:20):
so my mom drives up to themountains not knowing if I'm
alive or dead. And was, right,that was the first time that I
had felt the ramifications ofdrinking. Like, that was the
first time that when I had I hadgotten negative results.
Mhmm. Right? Like, you know, wegot triggered in the woods, the

(43:41):
cops would show up, you'd run,you scuff your knee or something
like that.

Speaker 3 (43:44):
I imagine those type of experiences, you're thinking
like, this is how life goes.Like, this is how you do life.
Yeah. Like those thoseexperiences. But this experience
was so far off the path thatyou're kinda like, hey.
Well, this is maybe this isn'tthe way things are

Speaker 1 (43:57):
supposed You would think that light would go off.
Right? Would think that lightwould go off, but like the
craziness that was my life and

Speaker 2 (44:07):
the

Speaker 1 (44:07):
chaos of like my mom moving here and going here,
this, that and the other, like,it was so chaotic that like
something of that okay. Right?Like, this is what we're doing.
I was always in fights. I wasalways busted up or right?
It was just always something.Right? And so, like, while this
was traumatic, obviously, Ididn't really register it as

(44:32):
super traumatic until later.Right? Like, but that that was
the first time that it was likeart.
Right? But then, like, I think Ilook back and I go, well,
without that, maybe I would havefailed out my junior year. Maybe
I failed out my junior year. Idon't graduate high school ever.
Maybe I don't graduate highschool ever.
I'm doing this. So like, well,that's

Speaker 3 (44:52):
gratitude thing.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah. Well, that sucked. It was necessary. Yeah.
That's more part of it.
Right? Yeah. And

Speaker 3 (45:00):
So I guess that's what so that, you know, bringing
it back in and getting back onthe path, like, that's why you
were homeschooled that year.That's why you had the football
coach. That's, you know, beingyour teacher. That's why you got
the straight As. That's why Icame back.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
It's a part of the journey. Yeah. So did you
straighten up after that?

Speaker 1 (45:13):
No. No. I got another two DUIs. Oh my god. Both car
crashes.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah. Both car crashes. Was that one?

Speaker 1 (45:20):
That was my first DUI, first car crash. Right? Was
that

Speaker 2 (45:23):
the second one as bad?

Speaker 1 (45:24):
The second one was I fell asleep on Atlantic City
Expressway driving home from theshore. Yeah. It crashed into the
back of a minivan, which had alady and her two kids in it,
right? She did one of these, hitthe median. I

Speaker 2 (45:36):
Oh, they good?

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Crashed out. Yeah, everybody was okay. It was kind
of like one of those wobblewobbles, but it could have been
worse. Oh, yeah. Right?
It could have been a lot worse.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
How old were you then?

Speaker 1 (45:47):
That was 2,006. Two thousand and six, right? Yeah.
So I was in college at thatpoint. Yeah.
And then I got another one in02/2007 coming home from a
graduation party, a collegegraduation party, where I hit a
telephone pole and my buddy wentthrough the windshield.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Don't they lock you up at some point? Oh yeah. Oh
yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Yeah. Jail's a part of the story. Okay. Sure. Yeah.
Dude, if

Speaker 2 (46:10):
you believe it, we got even If you

Speaker 3 (46:12):
believe it, we got more to cover. So we we are
gonna have to gloss oversomething. Yeah. No. No.
No. No.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
And look. We could gloss over a lot. Right? Like,
the

Speaker 3 (46:21):
the But I got when you got in a so we're hearing
about ramifications. Like, it'san interesting word you you
chose earlier. You said results.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
You know what I mean? And that's a really interesting
way. You hear consequences,ramifications, the fallout. You
hear all these things. You usethe word results, which is a
really interesting word to use,but and I I think I know why you
would use that word.
But it sounds like when you gotto college, maybe things you you
had that curve where, like, yougot straight A's junior year,

(46:52):
senior year, you were hittingthe curve, like, you
straightened out a little bit.But I it sounds like when you
got to college, maybe things,like, accelerated a bit in a
negative direction.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Well, you

Speaker 3 (47:04):
because that's what happens in college. Like, you
come into college with, like, alittle something. Yeah. There
are opportunities for you topour gasoline on

Speaker 1 (47:11):
that. Correct. Gasoline just happened to be a
little white powdery substancethat, you know, would, would, it
was ultimately the fuel to thefire that just jet, jetted me
straight. Yeah, straightliterally. Yeah, straight to,
you know, rehab.
Yeah, like, and that's

Speaker 2 (47:30):
my wife and I have talked about this a lot, man.
Like college is such aninteresting concept to like kids
that are 18 years old, likefresh to the world. I've lived
under their parents care for thepast eighteen years. Get sent
away to go do whatever they wantwith no supervision. Yeah.
Like it just it sounds like arecipe for disaster. Yeah. Think

(47:52):
about it.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
It makes you think that like some countries have
the better idea is that like youhave to serve your country
before. Like after high school,you go, you serve your country,
do a little stint in themilitary.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
Yes. But

Speaker 1 (48:04):
like to me, that kind of makes sense. It against a lot
of our constitutional values,right? But at the end of the
day, like I get why that is inplace. And I don't know that you
can necessarily be both as freeof a country as we are while
simultaneously forcing people tobe indoctrinated into the

(48:26):
military. So like you can't haveboth of those, but I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Right? So you so you've you found a powder where
the powder found you, however ithappened.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
And then you're still you're playing football. Right?
Yeah. You're still you're you'reholding your tenure there. I
mean, you're you gotta bepassing.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
I'm getting through by by the skin of my teeth.
Right? And then and ultimatelyit blew up in my face and and,
you know, I'm I'm right on thecusp of finishing, but I made
other things more important. Andit's like, did you finish? Did I
ever go back?
And then it was like, I did mystudent teaching, right? And
then like, everything was like,again, like even with high
school, like you're right on thedoorstep. So it's like, if I go

(49:08):
back and I really look at mycollege career, I'm sure I could
look through it and say like,yeah, I finished. Like, I'm sure
I had the credits. But like, didI ever go and do the walk and do
the ceremony?
No, I had made everything elsemore important. Right? So like,
yeah, I went through all of theyears, right? Went to all the
parties, I played all thefootball games, but like, I was

(49:30):
never really there, right? Likein spirit.
And like, I look back at some ofthe friendships and
relationships that I'd made atthat time. And it was like, it
was all based off of like whatit is that I wanted to do. You
know what I And none of it wasreally genuine in the sense of

(49:54):
like a mutual

Speaker 3 (49:55):
For others.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Yeah, exactly. Like where I'm doing stuff, it was
all about me.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
Was gonna say, when you say like I made other things
more important, it was reallyyou.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, ish.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Which is part of the journey. Matter how For sure.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
A %.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
No matter who you are, no matter how dark it is,
no matter how, like at somepoint in the journey, that's
what it is for you.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
So if we want to gloss over, right? Like the next
turning point would be 2016 atthirty two, right? Like, so I
went through the college andthen that mentality of me, me,
me just kind of continued.Right? And then I took my first
hostage, which was my wife,which was a term that we use and
AA is taking hostages.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Right? I

Speaker 1 (50:43):
took my first hostage.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
I got a little nervously first off.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Yeah. I was like, that was crazy, but. Yeah. Know,
but that's what you refer to itas when you're that type of
person, is taken hostage.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
So I want to make sure we don't miss one of the
higher power moments as Iunderstand it. Yeah. When do you
break your back?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah, so I break my back.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Is that after you've taken your first hostage?

Speaker 1 (51:09):
No, no, I was married to her at the time. Okay. Right?
Yeah, so I felt-

Speaker 2 (51:14):
I just,

Speaker 3 (51:14):
I want to make sure we don't

Speaker 2 (51:15):
miss Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 (51:16):
yeah, yeah. Was right. So looking back, I can
see that my higher power waswith me that night on the side
of the road. I wasn't aware thatthere was something else at play
in my life until I fell off theroof and I broke my back. And

(51:37):
then and how everything playedout from that point on was.
Were you working at the timewhen you fell through? Yeah. So
I was working for a builder anddoing something on a roof and I
fell off the roof and I broke myback. Right? Ambulance comes,
brings me, they had to dothoracic fusion on my back where

(52:00):
they fused four vertebrae,right?
Put eight screws and two rods inmy back.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
How old

Speaker 2 (52:06):
were you?

Speaker 1 (52:08):
31, right? 31, it was the year before I went to rehab,
right? So 2015, 'fourteen,'fifteen, that range.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
And you're partying, sorry, I'll blow you. Whole
partying. From college to 32.

Speaker 1 (52:24):
Yeah, I wouldn't call it partying, man. I would like
just in the dark, right? It wasdark stuff. It was like that
over everything else, right?Like, and even like I'd gotten
married, had a wedding, right?
Had a child, right? Had two kidsat that point, right? Oldest and
my middle son, Liam. But like,it was always the most important

(52:47):
thing. Right?
Drinking and drugs were alwaysmore important than anything
else. Like, if we're going tothe wedding, I'm making sure I
have what I need at the, like,it is that we're Was

Speaker 2 (52:57):
it a thing on like weeknights? Like was it like
every

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Oh yeah, it it of course it trickled into
weeknights. Especially if I gota big tax return or something,

Speaker 2 (53:05):
it was

Speaker 1 (53:05):
three weeks, right? It was, that was the mindset.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 (53:11):
So I fall off a roof, I break my back, and I'm in the
hospital. And previous to thatjob, I was working for a
restoration company, and I met agood friend who's still a good
friend to this day, Jerry. AndJerry had gotten sober. And, you
know, we were working together.We'd partied together.

(53:32):
And Jerry had disappeared oneday and went to rehab, right,
and came back a differentperson. And Jerry and I parted
ways because I got fired fromthat job. Right? So I hadn't
seen Jerry in a long time. Andmy wife was driving to the
hospital.
I'd broken my back. And my wifeat the time and Jerry were

(53:53):
driving down the road oppositeof each other, and their mirrors
collided, right? Like theirmirrors hit each other, right?
So Jerry pulls over, my wifepulls over and they recognize
each other and they know eachother. I could show it to you
whenever I talked about this,but So they're talking on the
side of the road, and my wifeexplains to Jerry that where she

(54:19):
was heading, and she wasflustered, she was apologetic.
And that night, Jerry showed upat the hospital because he knew
it was gonna get bad. He knewme. He knew what I was like. And
he knew that me breaking myback, it was only gonna get
worse as an introduction toother substances along with the

(54:42):
pain.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Because you get Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
He knew exactly what was gonna happen and how bad it
was gonna get. And Is Jerry yourage? Jerry's a little bit older
than me. A little bit older.Yeah, little bit older than me.
But-

Speaker 3 (54:57):
So you hadn't seen him, I gotta imagine, Yeah,

Speaker 1 (54:59):
had been years. It had been years since I've seen
Jerry at that Wow,

Speaker 2 (55:03):
that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah. And he shows up at the hospital for no reason,
just no reason at all. And hejust offered his hand out to
help. You know, he he didn'thave to help me. He just wanted
to.
And. I feel like he called meevery day for weeks for weeks

(55:29):
called me every day for weeks.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
I gotta imagine you're in the bed for a

Speaker 2 (55:32):
while, man. It's not like you didn't go to

Speaker 3 (55:34):
a outpatient.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
Yeah, I was laid up for a while.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
I was laid up. And Jerry was there and. Remember he
said to me. Come to a meetingwith me. Come to a meeting.
He was always asking me to cometo meetings with him.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
And, you know, I wasn't ready. I didn't want to.
Right? So there was the finalstraw my wife had left me.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
And just were you recovered from the back?

Speaker 1 (56:04):
Not fully, not fully, but as you can imagine, it was a
nightmare of a lifestyle.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Another point where, you know, you had a community,
albeit a small one in Jerry,come to your side and say, I'm
here for you. It sounds like hedidn't it sounds like he he
didn't come into that room andsay, yo, Pat, you gotta clean
up. You know, come to thismeeting. You gotta work the
program. You gotta he was justlike, look.
I'm here for you.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
I'm gonna check-in on you. I'm gonna let you talk this
through with me. Yeah. It's it'simportant. And then at some
point he said

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Yeah. It it's important to understand that,
like, you don't come to somebodyyou don't offer help to somebody
as as inferior to, as superiorto them. You have to come to
them as you're equal, right?Like, Hey, look, what you're
going through, I went throughit, right? Like, I've been
there.
You have to be able to relate.And that's what he was just

(56:57):
doing. He was just relating. And

Speaker 2 (57:00):
he How long sorry. Yeah. How long was the recovery
for the back back break?

Speaker 1 (57:06):
I was out of work for two months. And then when I went
back to work, I was just lightduty and

Speaker 3 (57:11):
just Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
And And it was

Speaker 2 (57:15):
So in that two months, your wife decided to
leave here?

Speaker 1 (57:17):
It with no. Before after that, over the course of,
like, six, seven months Mhmm. Itgot chaotic. And she leaves, she
takes the kids. And then a nightof absolute mayhem and cars, I'm
drinking and driving, trying tohook up with my buddy's
girlfriend, it was just anightmare of a night.

(57:37):
And it ended with the cops, meface down on the floor. The cops
kicking me, two cops, and theyall knew me, Two Norwood cops.
Brady, wake up. And, you know,what's up? He's like, you were
telling your wife that you weregonna kill yourself last night.
You're texting her, telling heryou're gonna kill yourself. You

(58:00):
know, we're here to make sureyou're not dead. Are you gonna
kill yourself? I just had, like,this moment of clarity. I just
remember thinking that, like,all of my lies were out.
Right? Like, just done lying.Whatever lies that I had on the
tip of my tongue, I was justover it. And I just said, no. I
just wanted attention.
Right? And I just remember justcoming to that next morning and

(58:21):
just thinking that like enoughwas enough. You know, it was
just enough. And I called Jerryand I was like, Jerry, I think
I'm ready for that meeting. He'slike, Yeah, we're past that
meeting probably.
You're going to rehab. You know?And he showed up at my house and
took me to Walmart and we got abag of T shirts and socks and

(58:44):
boxers. And we put together a gobag and he dropped me off at
rehab. And we talk about that,the moment of like, being, what
was the word you used, thewanderer?
What was the

Speaker 3 (58:58):
word? Drifter.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
Drifter. Up until rehab, drifter.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Right? After that, it was like a totally life
changing, turn the light onmoment where it was an moment,
right? And I remember beingthere thinking like, this is
exactly where I'm supposed tobe. And I remember that feeling

(59:24):
of like, why Jerry and my wifecollided mirrors, like, what was
that? Like, why?
Like, what was at play there?And we said that we sit in
rehab. We said to our father.Right now, I had said to our
father a thousand times beforefootball games, after football

(59:45):
games, a million times. I'vesaid it.
I know it. I've said it, right?But I've never heard it. I just
remember being in rehab, hearingit, and like every word relating
to every part of it. And justlike being like overcome with
emotion and just, and that waslike my like, okay, there's

(01:00:08):
something bigger than me here.
Right? There's something more atplay here. And a part of
sobriety and AA is knowing thatyou're not in charge. Like, it's
not your show. It's God's show.
Right? And if you participate inwhat he thinks you should be
doing, then life goes well.Right? And since then, man, it's

(01:00:31):
just been straight up. Right?
Like, it's just been I mean,look, there's been moments when,
like, things didn't go my way oror like I I fell off track or I
lost sight a little bit, butit's never been down. Right?
It's it's always been this andthen maybe I leveled out a
little bit and then. Mhmm. Andit's not like by accident.

(01:00:55):
Yeah. You know what I mean? It'snot by accident. It was all by
design. Was all part of the planand it was all a part of God's
plan and not mine.
So that's the idea is justcontinue on with what you can

(01:01:15):
understand as being a part of myhigher power plan and just keep
doing that, man. Yeah. Like evenlike being here on this podcast,
it's like, do I really want tolike divulge my most inner like
fuckups? Like, dude, you'redoing Coke, right? Like all of
these different things.

(01:01:35):
It's like, does any man reallywant to just purge all of his
mistakes? It's like, no, but Iknow for sure, right? Like
someone's probably gonna hearthis, somebody's probably going
through something and maybethat's that little piece of
something that they needed tohear to think that like, okay, I

(01:01:57):
can totally relate to what he'ssaying about being in the dark,
and and maybe they're in a darkplace at this very moment
listening to this. Mhmm. Andthey can hear that there's a way
out.
Right? So, like, for me, it'slike, this is what I gotta do.
It is what it is. Right?

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Like It's even, like, a lot of the messages we write
for the feed, social media pageand put out to the community,
people message us and they'relike, thank you so much. I
needed this to save me. It'slike there are a lot of times
just us speaking to ourselves,inner dialogue and things that,
that give us the push we need toget through the day or reminders

(01:02:37):
we need. And it's like, youdon't realize how one thing
that's so small to you could beso big to someone else.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
Yeah. I am personally living breathing proof because I
I I don't know if you remember,but back in the day after you
did Josh's show, JT's show, Itexted you and I was like, bro,
you sharing your journey Yeah.Has, you know, I was already,
like, kinda messing around withwanting to be sober. Yeah. And I
had made a bunch bunch ofmistakes up to that point, and I

(01:03:04):
was already messing around withit.
And you sharing your story?Yeah. This is before a lot of
who you are now, theaccomplishments and everything.
Yeah. You just having thecourage to speak on it

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Inspired me. Yeah. You know, along with Josh. JT
from Consequence of Habitinspired me to eventually get
sober.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
Yeah. I I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
So I mean, that's kind of, like, a part of a part
of it. Right? Like and,ultimately, like, it's it's
awkward to say, but it it'strue. Right? Like, it's kinda
selfish in nature.
Right? Like, I have to do thisin order for my life to be good.
So it's like, these are thesteps that I have to take in

(01:03:43):
order for my life to be good.And it's like, you're it's like,
are you only doing them for yourlife to be good? Or are you
motivated motivated by like,like you said, you got somebody
who commented and it made youfeel good and it you needed it
to whatever it is that you weregoing through or doing at that
time, you took that little bitof fuel to get over that hump.
It's like, am I only doing itbecause I need the fuel to get

(01:04:07):
over the hump or to push or tomake my life better? And it's
like, you tow this line whereyou think about like, oh, am I
just ultimately being selfishbecause this is what I want?

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
But you're But You can't serve others unless you
serve self. And that's it's avery hard thing to come

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
%. Grips with.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Yeah. But we say it all the time, you can't pour
from an empty cup. Like, that'sa better analogy. But Yeah.
Like, you cannot serve othersunless you are at first,
minimally self serving.
Mhmm. You have to do the thingsthat fill your cup so that you
can pour in other people.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Yeah. Yeah. Well and and it's like they coexist.
Right? Like, they're pouring toother people is the sell is the
sell like, it's

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
like It is.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
It's like this circle of, like, I have to do this in
order to get this, in order tobe this way. Yep. And then it's
it's like it's a feeding circle.And it's like, I've noticed that
if I can hone in on what myintentions are, right? Like find
out like, okay, why are youdoing this?

(01:05:06):
Exactly. Like, what are yourintentions here? Like, are they
pure? Are they good intentionsor are they, are they is it for
your ego? Right?
Like what what what are youserving here? And I found that
like, long as I can I can honein on my intentions, which if I
can trace it back to my higherpower and finding out right,

(01:05:28):
like, okay, this is why I'mdoing this, then then I'm good?
Right? Like, it is that I'mdoing, right? I can rationalize.
I can I can find out what it isthat I'm doing and why I'm doing
it? And and it even helps with,like, the path of what I'm
doing. Right? Like, okay. You'redoing this for this reason.
It clears up a lot of yeah.Exactly. That's what I'm looking

(01:05:48):
for. Clarity.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
You you said the magic word intention, and then
the other magic words clarity.It's the same the same thing.
Like, there I'm sure there'stimes where maybe you got to you
got to go to a meeting and yougot say, hey, I can't hang with
the kids. I gotta go to ameeting.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
Yeah. I

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
gotta go train. I can't be with the kids right
now.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
But you know that you're not going to the meeting
or you're not going to trainingjust to feed your own

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:09):
Ego or your own accomplishment, you're going
there so that you can fill yourcup. Yeah. The the cup you make
such a important point that,like, serving others in itself
fills your cup.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Mhmm.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
But I feel like there's, like, a there's a
there's a line on that cup. And,like, there is pouring into
yourself Mhmm. Is the only wayto cross that, like, one line on
the cup. Yeah. You know?
Because otherwise, if you'rejust serving others, you will
eventually you'll burn out.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's I tussle with with the the
fighting and the MMA, and Itussle back and forth with that
one because it's like there's alot of what's in there that
feeds my ego, A lot a lot of lotof that stuff is self serving
and it's like you want to getyour hands because you want the
praise, right? Like and thenyou'll manipulate yourself and

(01:07:01):
you'll tell yourself like, oh,well, you're doing this so that
you can, you know, be aninspiration to other people, but
really you just want your handraised so that everyone can pat
you on the back until you did agood job. Yeah.
Right? Like, so like, there'sthere's a hard, like,
introspective look there thatlike

Speaker 3 (01:07:19):
It's

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
It's it's it's hard. Yeah. Listen, it's that is
probably one of the, like, thehardest things for me to be able
to navigate. It's like, when isthis about me, and when is this
about, you know, making a betterversion of me for me to be that
better version for my family?Yep.
You know?

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
The lights the lights are on now. So you're now having
that moment, and you're sayingwith intention, you're doing
that audit because the lightsare on.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Yeah. Yeah. You know?

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
That's way of audit.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
Yeah. So that's what I was alluding to in the
beginning of the show where Iwas, like, struggling for the
word of, like, balance andsobriety or whatever because
what you do now, right, as a profighter and a pro entrepreneur
Mhmm. Because you're not likeyou're doing big business.
Right? Yeah.
Pro in both of those arenasMhmm. Like, it there's they

(01:08:07):
there's to a degree, you need tobe selfish.

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
You need to be self serving to a degree to be
successful in both of thoseareas. Mhmm. And, like,
sobriety's gotta come first.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
So now you got like that. You got the fact that
these things require you to benot selfless sometimes, but then
you're serving others becausealso sobriety asks you to serve
others. Mhmm. Right? To to do todo what's best for it's part of
it.
It's part of it. So you've got,like, this crazy the way I see
it, like, this crazy push andpull going on, not just, like,

(01:08:40):
once a quarter, like, everyfucking day.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
It's every day. It's it's it's I use this analogy as,
like, I call it my pie. Right?

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Like, it's it's I have a pie. It's apple berry,
whatever kind of pie you want tocall

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
it, right?

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
You like your sweets

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
too, bro. I know that. It's a problem. It's
actually in the big book. Wasgood Alcoholics and sugars, and
there's a correlation betweenchildhood, children, and
carbohydrates, sugar intake andactual alcoholism and the reward
system that your brain buildswhen it gets sugar and it But

(01:09:14):
not to jump away on that one,because we could talk about that
But back to the pie is I look atmy pie and I have to give it
away, right?
Like at the end of the day, Iput my head down at night, it's
all gone. Right? Like that's myday. This is my time. These are
my hours.
I have to give the pie away tosomething. And it's constantly
going out as the clock ticks.Yeah. And if I'm giving it to

(01:09:39):
this, this person's not gettingit. Right?
If I'm giving it to that, thisisn't getting it because there's
only so much you

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
can't say yes to everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:09:46):
Or are you eating all the pie?

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
Yeah. That's where the line Why am I training? Why
am I doing this? What am Itrying to accomplish here? What
are my intentions?
And it's like, I'm at this placeright now in my life where, you
know, I was undecided if I wasreally going to talk about this,
but like, I'm at this placeright now in my life where I

(01:10:09):
have to make a hard decision.Like I'm 41 years old, Right?
And I'm a professional fighter,and I'm fighting at the highest
level. Right? And, you know, Ijust fought at Wells Fargo
Center for Bare Knuckle Boxing.
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:10:25):
In front of the largest crowd ever assembled in
Philadelphia for History

Speaker 1 (01:10:29):
of combat sports history. There's never been a
larger combat sports historyaudience ever in Philadelphia.
And I fought a guy who was on afour fight win streak, four
straight finishes. Right? And Ifinished him in under a minute,
right?
But the amount of sacrifice thatthat took, right, after it was

(01:10:51):
all said and done, and I can goback and I can look at it, right
and audit both literally andmetaphorically, even
financially. You look at it andyou're like Wait, then I How
much did I not make here?Because I was here and what did
I do? Like where it struggledand what quality slapped here
because of the nurse causedthis. It's like, I broke my hand

(01:11:13):
and what are the effects of thatmoving forward with this, that
and the other?
And I look back and I go, okay,I did it. Right? Like that was
like this moment that, like,every combat sports person has,
like, this image of, like,getting his hands raised and

(01:11:34):
everybody, all eyes are on himand, like

Speaker 3 (01:11:36):
Plus, you're home, man.

Speaker 1 (01:11:37):
I'm at home. And, like, that's the that's the
moment that, like, you're layingin bed thinking about having.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
Yes. And I got it. And I had it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:45):
It's the vision.

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
Yeah. Exactly. And and Is there

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
a son there too?

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
Yeah. That's Yeah. Both of my boys were there, my
13 year old and my 10 year old.And like we had been. It was
magical.
Right. And like I had tosacrifice a lot. There was a lot
of people who didn't get pie forthat to happen.

Speaker 3 (01:12:03):
For a while.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
For a while. A Yeah. For weeks. Right? Like it was it
was.

Speaker 2 (01:12:07):
My friend Aaron Hines, he said like a podcast or
something years ago that I heardthat I've always thought about.
It's like, can't say yes. Whenyou say yes to one thing, you
say no to something else.Correct.

Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
I love how you broke down the the thought of, like,
why am I I ask why toeverything, and it's every
single thought or action we havecan be broken down into, like, a
subatomic particle of, like, isthis selfish? Is this not is
this philanthropic? Like, youknow I mean? Like Mhmm. There's

(01:12:39):
so everything can be peeled downto a more simple form of, like,
actually deciding why you'redoing something.
And I think that's somethingI've been thinking a lot. Like
why do we do anything as asociety,

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
as a culture? Is it to get my dick wet?

Speaker 2 (01:12:55):
Am I

Speaker 1 (01:12:55):
thinking about that new object? Am I thinking about
someone saying good job? What amI thinking about? This is what
I've come to realize that I feelmy absolute best, not when I'm
riding a jet ski, not when I'mgetting my hand raised. I feel
the largest amount of dopaminewhen someone says, Thank you.

(01:13:19):
You saved my life. There'snothing that can compare to
that. And when I sponsor guysand I help them go through the
steps and when I get to see thechange that I got given to me,
nothing feels better than that.Nothing. So it's like when I'm

(01:13:41):
like you had said, sobriety'sgotta come number one.
And when I when I encounterthese situations where I have to
give pie to things other thanthat, and I know that that makes
me feel the best, but I'm stilldoing this. It makes you think
like, well, why? Yeah. Right?Like, lot of it comes down to
ego.
Right? A lot of it was like,want to notch that belt. Right?

(01:14:06):
And I wanted for my children tobe able to see that their dad
did this, and he was this, andnow he's this.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
That's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
Right? So, that that before and after photo, I have
it. Yeah. Right? Like, I thatit's there.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
It's here it is. Like I said in the beginning, it's
it's a full rebirth.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (01:14:27):
And I'm not I'm not here to, like, canonize you,
man. Yeah. Like, make you insaneor anything. Yeah. You know what

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (01:14:31):
Like, I'm sure you still like, we all do. We got
stuff to work on.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
Of course. Yeah. But I make mistakes. A %.

Speaker 3 (01:14:36):
It's a full rebirth.

Speaker 2 (01:14:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Dude, it's like you burnt down to ashes

Speaker 1 (01:14:42):
and came back. Yeah. And look, like, don't mind

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
if got anything about your entrepreneurial side too.
Like, damn, if I wasn't doingthis shit, I could probably end
up

Speaker 3 (01:14:48):
Well, that's what you're saying. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
Like, that's what exactly. Like, like, I have
these plans for my business,right? Renovations by Brady,
right? Like we do kitchens,bathrooms, basements, additions,
right? Like, but it's like,don't want to swing a hammer
forever.
Right? Like, so eventually Ihave to like, like, I have to
put into play the steps that Ineed to take to

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
Systems and the system. Correct.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
In order to set myself up for a better future.
Now, look, I'm okay with what Ihave now, right? Like, I'm
grateful. Like, I'm good, right?But like, you should be striving
for better, right?
You should be striving forexcellence, right? So what my
point is, is that this piethat's going out, I'm at this

(01:15:35):
stage right now where it's like,I'm 41, right? And the toll that
fighting and everything hastaken on my body, on the things
around me, on what I can giveenergy to. Right? My son's 13.
My oldest son's 13. Right? Like,he's going to require more

(01:15:56):
attention. I'm not saying Ididn't give him any attention
previously, but I just meanlike, gonna, I have to kind of
bring him in a little bit closerat this point because, right? I
don't mean by closer as in likestrangle him.
I mean closer as in like, justpay more attention. Right? And I
noticed with this fight is thatI couldn't pay attention. Right?

(01:16:17):
My my 10 year old says like hestarted doing jujitsu more times
like that.
When are you going to come to mypractices? Right? Because I was
going to my practices. Dad, yougo to yours. What about mine?
So I've made the decision thatafter this next fight, I'm going
to retire. Really? I'm going tohang it up. It's time, right?
Like it's time.
I'm going to do, I think I'mgoing to do one more MMA fight,

(01:16:40):
right? Art of War and I'm goingto make sure it's a tough one,
right? Like, because I wanna dothat, you know?

Speaker 2 (01:16:49):
Can I ask why you wanna do the Art of War fight? I
mean, you just kind of had likethe fucking pinnacle of your
career.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
Yeah. Mean, look, that's where I started.

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
Right? Title defense.

Speaker 1 (01:16:59):
Yeah. I'm the heavyweight champ. Right? Mike
and Deb Dickings have been greatto me. Right?
And as has Dave Feldman. Right?Like, he's been great to me too,
man. That guy's been I couldcall him right now for advice
and on something and he'll spendtwenty minutes on the guy's

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
Aces.

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
Yeah, the guy's the fucking president, right? Like
he's the king, right? Like, andhe takes my phone calls, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, I'mforever grateful to these
people.
I just have to look at, again,the pie. I have to make a
decision based on, do I want togo fight in Atlantic City in
front of 20,000 people atBoardwalk Hall? Or do I want to

(01:17:41):
be the main event for Art of Warwhere when I come out of the
cage, I can give all my friendsand family a hug, kiss my kids?
Like, I couldn't do that atWells Fargo, right? Like, I
couldn't go out and see my kidsand like have that moment.
Yeah. You know? So it's like Ihave to make because I know that

(01:18:03):
eventually the decisions thatI'm making are going to be for
me, right? And they're not gonnabe for the people around me. And
they're gonna be ego in itspurest form.
And that only ends with like meon my back, stiff as a board
with my hands up, Like, what arewe talking about? Like, I've had

(01:18:24):
these visions of like fightingfor the bare knuckle heavyweight
championship and it's like,yeah, would love to do that. But
then you think like, at whatexpense? Yeah. Sure.
At what expense?

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
Yeah. They're brutal. They're brutal fights, man.

Speaker 1 (01:18:40):
Can I do it? Yeah. I'm I'm fucking confident that
if I went burn the ships.

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
Yeah. You gotta lock in.

Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
Burn them. Yeah. That's it. Fuck everyone. I'm
going to be the Bare KnuckleHeavyweight Champion.
I could do it. A %. Sure of it.If I said burn the ships, I
wanna make it to the UFC. Iwanna be the oldest guy ever
signed to the UFC.
I'll have it done by the timeI'm 43. I bet you I could
fucking do it. Yeah. Right? If Iburnt the ships, but what what

(01:19:07):
am I getting in return for forthat?
Like, I'm doing this. What's thereturn?

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
Guys, one off topic.

Speaker 1 (01:19:16):
ROI, Return on investment. What am

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
I doing here? One off topic question is, like, what
does your body feel like? Like,football since you were eight
years old. I know because Iplayed seventy five years, so
that's probably where to start.Like, and then, like, football
literally through college, like,all those practices, all those
games.
And then

Speaker 1 (01:19:35):
you've been

Speaker 2 (01:19:36):
joining MMA jiu jitsu for how long?

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
Like, you got 18.

Speaker 2 (01:19:39):
You got your body hurts, man. And and you broke
all these You

Speaker 3 (01:19:44):
got rods, pins, plates. Like you're

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
kitted up. And I'm not flexible.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
You're kitted I'm just one

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
stiff ball of muscle. That plays into the decision,
right? That return on investmentand that pie that's going out.
It's like, what I getting? Whatam I doing here?
Right? Like, am I gonna beat mybody into a point where I won't
be able to like play with mykids? Yeah. You know what I
mean?

Speaker 3 (01:20:11):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:12):
Like, it's

Speaker 3 (01:20:13):
have a you ever have a shoofly pie?

Speaker 1 (01:20:15):
Wait. What's in it again?

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
It's like a it's like molasses kind

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
of thing. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:21):
I have, a similar pie analogy, but it seems like
you're at a point now where,again, the lights are on Mhmm.
And your level of awareness,you're like, okay. I gotta look
at the ingredients in this pie.Like, it's deeper now than just
me divvying up the pie. Mhmm.
Now it's like, gotta look at theingredients inside. Because the
pie is always gonna be there,but you gotta split up.

Speaker 1 (01:20:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:20:38):
But now you're looking at the ingredients, and
you're saying, okay. Look. Like,this point, the story's been
written. Yeah. You know what Imean?
When it comes to fighting, andthat ingredient is gonna be
taken out

Speaker 2 (01:20:49):
for now.

Speaker 1 (01:20:49):
My intentions my intentions early on were to like
do something that I'd neverdone. Like we did a boxing match
for recovery to help people getinto recovery houses. Right? We
raised money. And then thatturned into an MMA match.
And then I lost my first amateurfight. And now I got to win one,
right? And then it was like,okay, well, now I win. I win. I

(01:21:10):
win.
I win. Now I got to go pro,right? So I was also like moving
the bar forward just one notch.It was never like UFC or bust.
It was always just one morenotch.
Then it was like, all right, getanother win. And then one more
notch. And my intentions werealways like that next notch. Was
it was never this grand stage.

Speaker 2 (01:21:32):
That's so interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:21:33):
But then I got there and now it's like, oh shit, I'm
gonna be able to walk out infront of 18,000 people. It's
like that little just nextnotch, this next notch turned
into this. And now I have tolike stop myself, look back and
go, okay, what's next? Because Ikeep moving these notches and
like they get pricier andpricier like they they they cost

(01:21:54):
more and more pie. Yeah.
And it's I I just I'm not I'mnot I'm not there. I'm I I have
a daughter. Right? And I can'tbe the dad who can't have a
softball catch with hisdaughter. And I want to be able
to train jujitsu with my sonwithout really being banged up.

(01:22:17):
Like, Chuck Liddell. You knowwhat mean? I don't want to do
that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
Plus, I mean, you know, in the sports that you're
fighting in too, like thephysicality is one thing, but,
know, there's also a mentalcomponent to it as well as you
start chasing that heavyweight,you know, title. Like, you you
don't know what could happen. Sothe lights are on, man. Like,
the light switch is on. Theintention is there.
Like, you're you're makingdecisions.

Speaker 2 (01:22:42):
I think I think this I'll cut you off. Okay. Like,
another thing that the fewstruggle with as well is, like,
Amanda was just saying somethingto me this morning about it.
It's like, at what point do you,like, stop and reflect and be
like, okay. Like, I'm actuallydoing great things here rather
than because we we weaccomplished something.
Mhmm. And then we move the wemove the bar forward. Yeah. And
I do it too, like, literally afault. It's like I'm never I

(01:23:05):
wanna never satisfied.
And, like, not even soundcliche, but it's, like, a
problem for me. Like, it's likeI'm just never take a second to
be like, okay, we actually didsomething great. It's like,
okay, we need to keep doingmore.

Speaker 1 (01:23:16):
Yeah. Yeah. For me, like those types of moments,
right? Like where you want moreand more and more, like, that's
where I tap into the power ofbeing grateful. Right.
Like, and just real, like reallyhone in on that and think that,
Oh shit, I was sleeping on thefloor of my buddy's basement on
an air mattress that was halfinflated next to his cat litter

(01:23:38):
box and was waking up to likecrusty eyeballs, like a bloody
nose and like his cat flingingfucking litter on me. Yeah. You
know what mean? No pillows, likemy hoodie bought up. Yeah.
And now it's like, I'm upsetbecause I have to apply for a
variance for my addition that Iwant to build on my house. Yeah.
It's like, it's like pump thebrakes here. Yeah. What do you

(01:24:01):
want to say about again?
Don't know if this

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
is our driven entrepreneurial or even fighters
are entrepreneurs. Right? Like,is it because I know for me
personally, I never feel safe.Like, I feel like at any moment,
my wife said to me, she's like,because she's a business owner
as well.

Speaker 3 (01:24:20):
And

Speaker 2 (01:24:21):
I was like, I feel like the rug could just be
pulled out from us. Then yeah,any, any day. And just like, I
never feel like that. And I waslike, yeah, that's because I am
the one thinking like that. Idon't know

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
if like we all think like that or not to judge you
or, but what's your relationshipwith a higher power?

Speaker 2 (01:24:38):
Probably not good enough. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:40):
Me, that's

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
But I

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
say it is, Yeah. I believe that the universe is
conspiring for me. Put all thepositive energy

Speaker 1 (01:24:47):
towards the universe. I'm like, I'm like, please,
like. Yeah. To me, faith is thatGod has a plan. It's better than
mine.
And I'm going to be okay.

Speaker 2 (01:24:57):
No matter what. Definitely have not surrendered
like that. I truly have.

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
It's funny you use the word surrender.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
Wish that that's amazing. Like you, mean, like
you can articulate, I trulylike, I could see it in your
eyes

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
that when you

Speaker 2 (01:25:07):
say that you believe that shit and like, you operate
your life on this believingthat. But I almost feel like no
one's got my back and I have todo it all.

Speaker 1 (01:25:15):
Yeah, it's not it's not perfect. It's never perfect.
You always have these momentsthat are based on fear. Like
always have them all the time.Yeah.
But it's seeing the moment,recognizing it and addressing
it, right? Like having thosetools, having a prayer, saying
this running prayer, havingsomething in your tool belt,

(01:25:36):
right? Like you're in a badposition in jujitsu, oh, I'd
grab a kamura grip, right? Likewhatever it is, like you have to
have this tool to get you out ofthat moment and then you're on
the other side of it. Oh, okay,that's what

Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
I'm having. A serious, like, moment right now.
Like, I like.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
Did you see that?

Speaker 2 (01:25:51):
I always say the universe is conspiring for me.
Like, it's like I truly I sayit, right? I believe the
universe is like working for me,but I've never truly just given
up and

Speaker 3 (01:26:02):
it's a surrendered

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
for for like to use that word again. Like I've never
I apparently I'm not doing itright because I don't I haven't
felt like that. You know whatmean? That's true. Like taking
care of that your high power istaking care of you.
I don't know if I ever feltthat.

Speaker 1 (01:26:17):
Yeah. No, listen, it's it's not easy. It's not
like this. It's not this overallpresence of like you're good,
right? Like it's this, but youknow

Speaker 2 (01:26:33):
like someone's got your

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
back. Correct. Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
I don't think I feel like. Mean, I want see

Speaker 1 (01:26:38):
that out in the

Speaker 2 (01:26:39):
universe like, but I don't know if I have that
feeling right now.

Speaker 1 (01:26:41):
Yeah, it's just it's it's having faith that right.
It's it's having a what we calla conscious contact with your
higher power, conscious contactwith your higher power. Like
there's been times when, like, Iwas going through whatever it is
that I was going through. Iburned down relationships with
friends. I've hurt people.
I've done stuff in sobriety thatI'm not proud of. And then you

(01:27:04):
find yourself in this placewhere you're like, oh shit, I
haven't been in contact with Godin a long time. Like, no. I
haven't drank. No.
I haven't gotten high. But,like, I'm not with God right
now. I'm not walking with him.And then, like, you put these
things into place where it'slike, before I even get out of
bed, my knees hit the ground.Right?
Like, I don't even my feet don'teven hit the ground. Right?

(01:27:24):
Like, there's things that I haveto do sometimes to put myself in
a in a place to where I don'thave those fleeting thoughts
because those fleeting thoughtsturn into this, turn into this,
and it's an escalator. Yeah.Right?
And it's just the next. And nextthing you know, it's like, oh,
poor me. I'm going to just go tothe bar and have a couple of
beers.

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 (01:27:44):
Yeah. Cascades. Well, because to me, drinking and
drugging was never my problem.It was always my solution.
Right?
Like I was always the problem.Yeah, right. The problem was
always me. The solution wasalways what I turned to to numb

(01:28:05):
it or to get rid of it. That wasI always thought that was the
problem.
But I noticed that there hasbeen times in my life when I
wasn't drinking a drug and now Istill had problems. Yeah, yeah,
Because I was creating this kindof chaos situation because I'm
used to chaos, right? Like solike your hands is conditioned.
My mind will put me back there.Like Yeah.
It's why I've I've noticed,like, why do I love fighting so

(01:28:27):
much? Yeah. Like, what is itabout getting in that cage and
shutting that door? You have nofucking clue what's gonna
happen. Yeah.
No clue. No no prayers are gonnasave you at that time. Like,
nothing's gonna save you fromthat guy trying to kill you.
Right? Because that's what he'strying to do.
We're recreating murder here.Yeah. Right? So he's gonna try
to kill me. I'm in this chaossituation that I put myself in.

(01:28:50):
Like, through some, like,whatever, self manipulation, and
now I'm here. Right? And I gotaddicted to it. Right? And and
they're just moving that notch.
And I find myself in a place nowand it's like, alright, dude,
you gotta check it. It's time.

Speaker 3 (01:29:05):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (01:29:06):
You know what

Speaker 2 (01:29:06):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:29:07):
And and maybe this is your moment when you're like,
shit, man. I gotta check this,and and I gotta I gotta develop
a conscious contact. And itdoesn't have to be Jesus. It
doesn't have to

Speaker 3 (01:29:15):
be Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
It could be anybody.

Speaker 3 (01:29:17):
That's the important thing. Like, I feel like for me,
like, I'm not where Pat is yet.

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:29:22):
But I'm on the path. Like, I held on to that, to to
faith not fear Yeah. For a longtime. Like, we released a bunch
of gear. Mhmm.
Faith not fear. Choosing faithover over fear. And you said it
perfect Mhmm. Perfectly. There'slike those moments where you
feel that fear, and you feellike you're alone, and you're
not someone's not walking withyou.
Mhmm. And that's the momentwhere you need that thing, that

(01:29:44):
tool that you have to to changecourse.

Speaker 2 (01:29:47):
Know what

Speaker 3 (01:29:48):
I mean? And do the opposite thing because the fear
is pulling you one way. Mhmm.And, like, I'm not where he is.
I'm not where Pat is, but, like,I am maybe I'm a little further
along than you are on thatjourney.
But you like, that when when webrought that messaging to the
community and released thatgear, you saw what it did to the

(01:30:08):
community.

Speaker 1 (01:30:08):
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:30:09):
That resonated heavy because everybody's there. You
know? This is like, you know

Speaker 2 (01:30:14):
I feel like I have and this is like a super deep
like, I have faith, but I, don'tknow if I believe. Yeah. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, it'slike and and I know one has come
before the other, but, like,it's like Yeah.
I guess it's what I'm lacking.

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
This is the journey though.

Speaker 1 (01:30:32):
Yeah. There's a saying for that, right? When you
come in the rooms is fake ituntil you make it. Right? No,
seriously.
Fake it until you make it. Likejust believe in, just tell
yourself you believe in it. Evenif you don't, right? Like just
read, do this, do that, justfake it until you make it. And
then I had a moment in rehab.
I didn't have to fake it until Imake it for very long. I had

(01:30:54):
that moment when I read, right?When I read the Our There will
be a moment, right, when youwhen you oh, okay. I get it.

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
You're like, oh, he's got like that Our Father. Just

Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
I can't

Speaker 2 (01:31:09):
explain that to you. Were like, oh, like, God's got
me.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
I've whether I believed in God or not, I did
after that point. Yeah. Yeah.God's got me, that all comes
with conscious contact, thatcomes with literature,

Speaker 3 (01:31:24):
that comes with And a clear a clear conscious to the
higher power. Yeah. Like, allthe things in the world, they're
throwing up roadblocks, andthey're gumming up that clear
path of consciousness to thehigher power. At least that's
the way I

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
look at it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:31:38):
And I never so I'm like, you know, over a year in,
a year in four months into beingsober. Right? Mhmm. I never
worked a program. I went to acouple meetings, but I never
worked a program or anything.
So you're gonna have to tell me.But, like, in the program, like,
it's not Jesus. It's not There'sno actual label on the higher

(01:32:00):
power or the God.

Speaker 1 (01:32:01):
Yeah. It's it's a higher a higher power as you see
him. Right? Yeah. It's as youdescribe him.
Yeah. And and that comes with itcomes with going through the
steps. Right? It comes it comeswith these moments with yourself
and with another man. Right?
When when he's explaining to youwhat he went what he went
through. Sure. His his hisexperiences. And then you you

(01:32:24):
share this moment of, you know,a bonding moment where you can
relate to one another and it itit has to be a lot of that.
Right?
Has to be with a lot of hearingbut like you the fake it until
you make it comes with like, oh,well, that's what that means and
then, oh, well, then when thishappened to me, like I said to
you earlier, like, a lot of thestuff that had happened to me in

(01:32:45):
my life, I didn't realize whatit was until I realized what it
was. Sure. You know what? Ididn't know that that this was
this or that was that until oh,okay, now that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (01:32:58):
The fake it till you make it's been bastardized too,
where like almost to the pointwhere people start to think it
doesn't require work.

Speaker 2 (01:33:05):
Yeah, it's like do the work until you make it,
really. It's basically like,

Speaker 1 (01:33:09):
it's never ending work.

Speaker 3 (01:33:10):
It's never ending work. So like,

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
oh, fake

Speaker 3 (01:33:12):
it till you

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
make Education without a graduation. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:33:15):
And that's why I

Speaker 1 (01:33:15):
will say

Speaker 2 (01:33:16):
that I do the work. I meditate. I like speak to the
universe, like gratitude. Likewe pray before every meal at my
house. Like it's like literallyit's there.
The work is there. It's likethat that feeling of trust that
the trust is where I'm lacking.I'm

Speaker 3 (01:33:30):
finding it. This is and it sounds silly and you
probably don't look

Speaker 2 (01:33:33):
at it. You could tell Pat trusts.

Speaker 1 (01:33:36):
He's like,

Speaker 3 (01:33:36):
like, you can see it in his eyes.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
Listen, I

Speaker 2 (01:33:38):
saw the most beautiful eyes I've seen.

Speaker 1 (01:33:40):
Yeah. Of it, I think has to come from pain, man.
Like, don't know how much painyou've been through. Right?
Like,

Speaker 2 (01:33:46):
I don't

Speaker 1 (01:33:46):
know what's that. It's apparently on top. Pain is
relative to the eyes beholder.Yeah. If When you've been
through as much literal pain asI have, and then you come out
the other side of it, workingsomething that wasn't what you
worked, you had no other choicebut to believe.

(01:34:07):
There's no other choice. It'slike, oh, well that wasn't me.
Yeah, because if it was me, Iwould have been pent up in my
basement peeking out the window,wearing a bloody wife beater,
right? Like, that's me, This isGod.

Speaker 2 (01:34:22):
It's so interesting because I I perspective is my
superpower. Like, I've beenthrough some shit and, like,
I've everything I've beenthrough, I I make it my my
superpower. I'm, this is why Iam the way I am today. And it's,
like, I thought I had beenthrough it. I'm, like, listen to
stories like you and otherpeople on the show.
And I'm like, damn. Like, I've Ihaven't been through anything.
It's like

Speaker 3 (01:34:43):
Going back, you you hit the nail on the head with
trust. Right? And, like, whenyou think about trust, we say it
all the time. In business, inlife, it's the hardest thing to
build. This is no different.
Mhmm. And, like, the I don'tknow if you look at it, but,
like, that little Trello card Imade for our L 10 thing, the
book of proof Mhmm. That's whatthat's why I made that.

Speaker 2 (01:35:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:35:02):
Because I'm like, there are signs. There are signs
as you move throughout your day.Now you've had some remarkable
signs. Right? And you're likebut there are signs as you move
throughout your day that arebuilding blocks of trust.
The trust that you need torealize that you're not in this
alone. Yeah. But you have to thelights gotta be bright enough.

(01:35:23):
Yeah. You gotta be aware enough.
The intention needs to be therefor you to recognize the trust.
And it's a journey,

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
man. Yeah. For sure. It's a journey. Look, like I
said, I've I burned somebridges, man.
I've made some tremendousmistakes, things that I'm not
proud of. And the only thing youcan do is brush yourself off.

Speaker 2 (01:35:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:35:41):
Look at it, understand what it was and what
happened and move on. Yeah. Youknow what I mean? And and move
on and and understand that youwant the person that made that
mistake. Yeah.
You know what I mean? You're whoyou who you're not. You know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:35:56):
So

Speaker 3 (01:35:56):
Yeah. For sure.

Speaker 1 (01:35:57):
Look, man. I think your lights are on, brother.

Speaker 3 (01:36:00):
You know

Speaker 2 (01:36:00):
what mean?

Speaker 1 (01:36:01):
Lights are on. Stay the course.

Speaker 2 (01:36:02):
Yeah. Yeah. Stay the course. I was ready for this to
my spiritual awakening.

Speaker 3 (01:36:06):
Yeah. In the beginning listen. In the
beginning of the show, I saidwhat I said.

Speaker 1 (01:36:09):
Talk to you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
You ever

Speaker 1 (01:36:11):
I mean, you ever

Speaker 2 (01:36:12):
heard of Kairos? You met Kairos when you were in high
school? No. No. It's like aretreat and, like, only you sign
up for it and you go, like, to,like, the retreat like, Catholic
retreat house and, like Mhmm.
You have, like, three nights.It's like I forget. Someone will
have to comment, but it's likefear cry and you get in the

(01:36:33):
groups and you're like, you cryyou're a cry night, and then
you're like, another night. It's

Speaker 3 (01:36:36):
like Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:37):
Don't know. Cry night, they like you don't know
this, but leading up to it,they've been sourcing letters
from everyone in your life.Like, you're kind

Speaker 3 (01:36:44):
of really bad. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:36:45):
And they, like, light candles, and they read these
letters aloud to, like,everyone. There's, a hundred
people there.

Speaker 3 (01:36:50):
How'd you how'd you have to do that? I didn't have
to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:36:52):
I don't dude. Everyone that went to Catholic
school, like, knows about this.Yeah. I don't know how know.

Speaker 3 (01:36:56):
Well, there's like 10 difference between us. Maybe
that's a new thing. I don'tknow.

Speaker 2 (01:36:59):
Well, anyway, so that I thought that would be my
spiritual awakening. I've hadlike that, but I I I'm I'm
realizing that.

Speaker 3 (01:37:06):
Well, you're ready. You're ready when you're ready.

Speaker 2 (01:37:08):
I lack trust.

Speaker 1 (01:37:09):
Well, do you say you read, but, like, a lot of it is
in things that I've I've readthat I've read that I'm like,
okay, that makes sense. It'slike you can't you can't expect
to learn jujitsu by not being onthe

Speaker 2 (01:37:24):
Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (01:37:25):
Right? You can't expect to have this faith or
this this this trust withouttrying the move. Right? Like,
you if you can say saying sayingyou do it saying you do it.

Speaker 3 (01:37:38):
Allowance. Yeah. That's where I look at it. It's
allowing. It's a it's

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
a release.

Speaker 1 (01:37:43):
Yeah. Mhmm.

Speaker 2 (01:37:44):
I find that in my meditation sometimes too. Like,
I do some of do guided, some ofthat do not guided. Yeah. And
like they said, like, I don't,like, push it away or throw it
away. Like, allow it to leave.

Speaker 1 (01:37:53):
Yeah. Me, I like saying it doesn't matter. It
doesn't really matter. Right?Like, it doesn't really none of
it really matters.
Right? Like, at the end of theday, we're we're I know that I'm
going to be okay. Yeah. Right?So whatever bullshit that I
encounter doesn't matter.
I'll be good.

Speaker 3 (01:38:08):
Yep. %.

Speaker 2 (01:38:10):
Boys, this was the Yeah. I was not ready for a bad
break. I tried

Speaker 3 (01:38:14):
to bore you. Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:38:15):
Fucking so spiritual.

Speaker 3 (01:38:16):
I told you it would have started to show, man.

Speaker 2 (01:38:19):
Yeah. That's why

Speaker 3 (01:38:19):
I set it up there because I You

Speaker 2 (01:38:20):
did not say get ready for your spiritual awakening.
Like, that was not in the prepfor the for the Pat Brady's.

Speaker 3 (01:38:27):
Listen. Hold on. I know a lot, but I don't know
everything. So I can't tell youwhen that awakening is gonna
come, I'm glad it came, brother.Yeah.
I'm glad it came.

Speaker 1 (01:38:33):
And like I said, look, I'm not looking for any
type of praise, man. I'm notperfect. I made a lot of
mistakes. I made mistakes insobriety. I make mistakes.
I'll make a mistake today,right? Like, but it's important
to just know that That's amistake. Fix it and move on.

Speaker 2 (01:38:49):
What Mr Brady say otherwise? You say don't make
any mistakes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:38:54):
Alright. Well, do you have a lightning round today? I
don't think you think

Speaker 1 (01:38:58):
we could No.

Speaker 2 (01:38:59):
You don't have it.

Speaker 3 (01:38:59):
We don't we don't even need to do

Speaker 1 (01:39:01):
a lightning

Speaker 2 (01:39:01):
round today.

Speaker 1 (01:39:02):
That was lightning. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:39:03):
Why don't you exactly. Why don't why don't you
tell the community where to findyou, where to find renovations
by Brady, and then maybe what'scoming next? Like, I I
appreciate the fact that youwere unsure if you were going to
talk about retirement. Youbrought that to the show today,
so I appreciate that, brother.But why don't you what's next?

(01:39:24):
Where can they find you? Allthat good stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:39:25):
Yeah. So my company is called Renovations by Brady.
Website'srenovationsbybrady.com. Right?
My Instagram handle isheavyweightbrady, h e v w e I g
a c brady.
Okay. Right? Yeah. I mean, youknow, I go on my Instagram. It's
great to talk to people andstuff like that.

(01:39:46):
But yeah, I mean, I have thisfight coming up as of right now.
We're looking at June 14 as atentative date for Valley Forge
Casino for Art of War. I'm goingto defend my heavyweight title.
And yeah, man, like I said, Iwas unsure. I've been toying

(01:40:08):
with the idea and I've talked tomy wife about it and I've talked
to Chris and Kyle about it.
Yeah. And it's something thatsometimes you need to say
something in order to lock itin.

Speaker 2 (01:40:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:40:24):
Right? Like you got to put it out there into the
universe in order for you toreally stick to it because like
there's something inside me thatsays like, no, come on, one
more. But like me saying this,right? Like and me putting it
out there and me putting thatenergy out there people, you
know, people are going to cometo me and, you know, it's going
to be a topic discussed afterthis. Right.

(01:40:46):
And not too many people reallyknow about it. So me just
speaking it into existence. Iknow myself. I think my wife and
my kids will be happy as well.

Speaker 2 (01:40:57):
So will you get in the gate after retirement then?
Sure. Why not?

Speaker 1 (01:41:01):
I'll wait. Yeah. Who knows where? You know?

Speaker 2 (01:41:05):
Yeah. There you go. A lot

Speaker 1 (01:41:06):
of places.

Speaker 2 (01:41:07):
It's true. I was gonna say maybe we could IBJJ
Efron.

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
Yeah. Not any contact. Howard, Howard, dude.
We don't wanna unlock thatbeast. Maybe we'll wait until
after I'm 45 that when I nolonger think MMA is an option
because if I start to let thatcompetition beast out, you know,
I might think that I can squeezeone more fight.

Speaker 2 (01:41:29):
Yeah. It's like Master's post.

Speaker 3 (01:41:30):
You're gonna go through you're gonna run through
Master's.

Speaker 1 (01:41:32):
Yeah. Well, I've been through.

Speaker 2 (01:41:33):
Yeah. You got power. Above Master at 40 five?

Speaker 3 (01:41:37):
I'm assuming so, dude. Executive, I

Speaker 2 (01:41:39):
think maybe. I think it is.

Speaker 1 (01:41:40):
I think I'm executive. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:41:42):
I think I'm executive.

Speaker 2 (01:41:43):
That's funny.

Speaker 3 (01:41:44):
Well, thank you for coming on

Speaker 1 (01:41:45):
the show. Boy, it's

Speaker 3 (01:41:45):
nice to I I knew what was gonna happen today, I was,
like, super pumped about it. Sothank you for coming on the
show.

Speaker 2 (01:41:51):
We had a talk. We had some business talks

Speaker 3 (01:41:52):
Thank you

Speaker 1 (01:41:52):
for about

Speaker 3 (01:41:53):
playing a part.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:41:54):
Yeah. Thank you for playing a part in, not just
being like a excellent, model ofrebirth in our community and the
Fuqua community, but also for mein my journey when I decided to
get sober.

Speaker 1 (01:42:09):
Appreciate that. Thanks for having me, guys.

Speaker 3 (01:42:10):
Yeah. Any closing thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:42:12):
No, dude. A lot of thoughts.

Speaker 1 (01:42:16):
Words. Alright.

Speaker 3 (01:42:17):
I'll leave it. I'll leave it here with a reminder.
Always choose hard work overhandouts. Always choose effort
over entitlement. Remember, noone owns you.
No one owes you. You're one ofthe few. Now let's hunt.

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