#193 Embrace Yourselves: Breaking Away from Fear and Stepping into Your Power

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Do you ever downplay what you're capable of? Do you ever feel like you should
do more, but you hold back because of fear,
because of worry, you don't want to step out of place because you don't know
what the outcome will be, you don't know what others will think if all of a
sudden you become a little more bold or tell them what to do when you know what the next steps are?

(00:21):
Well, my friend, this is what we are talking about today. day.
Because when we look at how God created us, we know, we can tell our kids,
we can tell our friends how God made us unique and important and worthy.
And yet, we still stand back in the sidelines.
We still stand back behind the curtains, and we don't step into our power.

(00:45):
We don't step into the calling and purpose that God has placed on our life. life.
And well, Joshua 1.5 says, no one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life.
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you.
He will never leave us or forsake us. When we don't step out,
it's because of fear. So listen to today's episode.

(01:06):
Let it wash over you. How are you playing small? How are you standing in the background?
How are you muting yourself and your colors and who you're called to be because
you're afraid of how it will work out or how it will be perceived,
or you're afraid of what responsibility is coming next. Let's do this.
Hey, and welcome to the Full Weight of Joy podcast, the podcast for women who

(01:31):
are done stressing about the weight of the world, of expectations,
and settling for status quo, and ready to step into the full weight of joy.
Joy in the journey, whether up or down. Joy through the life's challenges.
Enjoy and love loving your life right where you are, even though sometimes we
feel like chucking it all and moving to Bali.
It's for women who are ready to step into who God called them to be.

(01:52):
He chose you to be in this world. He created you for a specific purpose.
God called us to be the light on a hill, and by embracing who you are and whose
you are, you can stand on that hill and shine.
The best part? When you're standing next to another woman who's also on the
journey, the world gets brighter.
My name My name is Tammy. I'm your host and a master certified life coach and a trained therapist.

(02:14):
For over a decade, I've been helping women do just that. Step into who they're called to be and shine.
Are you ready, friend, to start your journey? Let's do this.
I didn't know what it meant to play small.
I kind of, you have an idea, right? You think about the fact that playing small means like tiny.

(02:39):
You think of not being so big and boisterous and bold.
And one of the things that I,
as I was learning about what it meant to play big and play small,
all, I realized that it wasn't exactly what I had thought because I've never
been a big, bold, loud person.

(03:03):
And so I was like, well, playing big doesn't seem like me at all.
It doesn't seem authentic with who I am.
And so I started throwing around different ideas of what it could mean.
I started looking and really it all came to like, I really understood it when

(03:24):
I was my friend, Beth, who she knows I'm calling her out today.
Beth is a like, sassy woman. She is, she's bright.
She's bold. She has like red hair and she owns it.
Well, with that, when we, she sent me a landing page.

(03:44):
She's a coach. She's a real estate coach. if you are looking for creative financing,
like she's your go-to guru. She's amazing at it.
But she sent me this beautiful, beautiful landing page.
And if you're not in the business world, basically it's a website that you put
your information in, but it was so, it was gorgeous.

(04:04):
And it was a light brown. It's very aesthetically pleasing. And then I was,
and she's like, what do you think? I'm going to do this. And I was like, it's beautiful.
And it's not you. Like, I don't and see you at all on here. I was like, it's kind of muted.
And that's when it hit me. What really, well, what really the whole idea of
playing small really is.

(04:26):
So what is, what happens when we mute ourselves?
Well, to mute is to soften, to deaden, to muffle, to downplay,
to make less than. You don't have to be bold and big in order to play small.
It has nothing to do with being flamboyant or being outgoing.

(04:51):
You can be an introvert. You can be...
You know, you can be introvert. You can be like quiet and still be playing small.
And for the longest time, I realized that that's what I was doing.
And this is what my, what Beth was doing.
She sent me another one that I was like, cause it's just not you.

(05:12):
I was like, you're, you want people to, to see you when they see your work.
They want it there. There's so many, so many people out there in order to work with you.
They need to feel your energy. I was like, you don't want somebody who isn't
confident in what they do. Are you confident? She said, yes.
I was like, this does not show your confidence.
And I realized that by playing small, you are not showing your confidence.

(05:37):
You're not showing who you are.
You're downplaying your strengths, your talents, your gifts, your purpose.
You're downplaying you. you?
You know, it's so funny because this idea of when I started looking at,
okay, so how am I downplaying instead of playing big?

(05:58):
And when I started changing the definition, because as you know,
I love defining things because when I define it for myself, what I see it as, it takes a new shape.
Like what you define, you now can understand.
Like you can gain a better grasp of whether you you want to keep it or not,
like defining success for yourself is so crucial.

(06:21):
And funny enough, like I have, one of the things that I've been working on is
like showing up in a more confident way.
I typically, like I grew up in not in a bad way, but I was always the person
behind the scenes making things happen.
I would make the lunches for my family.

(06:41):
I would, you know, like even if If you follow me at all, like you've talked,
I talked to you about at church, how one of my jobs was production.
So I was behind the scenes and I was doing the camera and doing the lights and the sound.
I was making other people play big.
I was helping them step into their calling and their purpose,

(07:03):
which is not inherently wrong until God was like, why are you still behind the
camera when I asked you to be in front of it?
And it hits you, right? When God points out something that you're doing or not
doing, that's not in alignment with what deep in your knower that needs to be aligned.
And I grew up being a behind-the-scenes person. I'm comfortable there.

(07:26):
I love being a behind-the-scenes person, making things happen,
pushing them forward, helping them look like the stars that they are.
But I was realizing that there's things that I was like, well,
we could change this. We could do this. We can, you know, make this a little bit better.
And they're like, Tammy, well, why don't you just do it? I was like, no, no, that's okay.

(07:49):
I was muting what I knew to be true.
So today I did something that I've heard about years ago and I thought it was
crazy, but I thought I was like, well, let me go ahead and give it a shot.
Because as I'm trying to step into my boldness in my way, like still not flamboyant

(08:09):
and super boisterous, but showing up how I like authentic to me.
One of the things is like the colors that you wear.
So I did the same with Ashley, which I met her today. day, I got her name from
the lady who does my hair.
She works for the House of Color. And one thing that she does is she finds what

(08:30):
your perfect colors are, the colors that look best on you.
And this is how God works because she's like, okay, out of all of this,
she explained her wheel and her colors.
And she's like, are any of these, are you drawn to any of them?
And I was like, well, I'm not really a pastel-y person. I like more bold colors.
And I think I'm more cool like colors versus warm, the yellow undertones,

(08:54):
like more blue versus yellow kind of.
And she's like, okay, like, let's start. And, you know, through the process
of the little swatches and everything.
And I was like, yeah, I just, I don't, I'm not drawn to the spring colors.
And she's like, okay, well, let's just, let's see. Lo and behold.
It's the spring. I am a spring. The colors that look best on me are spring.

(09:18):
And it dawned on me why. That why it, because when you are confident,
when you are being seen, when you're stepping into, and this isn't just about what you're wearing.
This is about the presence that you show up in. If you show up fully as you, your presence is known.
You are more visible. the neutrals

(09:41):
that i was wearing is because it allowed me to go behind the
scenes it allowed me to play small it
allowed me to mute my personality and like have that barrier of you know like
and the color just kind of washes you out so she showed me how the colors i've
been wearing like can tend to wash me out she's like some of the colors are

(10:04):
great but you just need a different pew of them.
Like you need a little bit more warm versus cold and showed me about that.
And it's like, and it instantly endowed on me.
It's, and I do have a lot of colors in the spring when I'm feeling really good,
when I, when I want to be seen or I'm okay with being seen, that's when I wear those colors.

(10:27):
That's when I step into that. And it was like, man, talk about muting yourself.
I have been and again like we're
talking about color of clothes here so it's not like earth shattering
but it's all of these things together that like are you hiding who you are are
you downplaying what you're capable of and what you're called to do because

(10:50):
you're worried about being seen or by getting it wrong or by the responsibility
that comes from stepping into your purpose.
I just need that to just ask yourself, because typically when people are like,
when they come to me and they're said, Tammy, I'm, I'm just numb.
I want to find my purpose.

(11:11):
And we talk about it and we realize quickly that they actually do know their purpose.
It's the next step. It's the going forward. It's the taking action.
It's the stepping out of your comfort zone.
That is really what's stopping you. When you're muting your color,
when you're muting your personality, when you are muting you,

(11:36):
you're allowing yourself to stay in that comfort zone.
Alignment, obedience, life does not happen in the comfort zone.
There's always a disconnect. You always feel like there's something more when
you are in that comfort zone.
There's a and it's it's a comfortable discomfort because

(11:57):
you don't like being there you feel like there's more there's
guilt and there's shame and there's just that that dread of oh i shouldn't be
doing more there's something else for me but acknowledging that next step that's
the key because we if we acknowledge our purpose then we have to actually take
action on it when you're you're playing small,

(12:19):
when you're muting, you,
whether it's you're boisterous or whether you are wearing muted colors that
don't light you up and you don't feel confident in or comfortable in,
colors that you naturally know kind of allow you to wash out and be in the background.
That's what playing small looks like. You know, when When someone walks out

(12:43):
in their power suit or in a color that they own, whatever, it doesn't matter
what season, if they walk out owning that color and they just wear it confidently.
Everyone notices. Are you afraid of people noticing what you have to offer?
Are you afraid of what the responsibility that your purpose carries?

(13:06):
Not going to lie, because when I start thinking about it, I get afraid of that too.
The responsibility of, well, the calling that's on your life,
especially if it's a God calling.
Like you see where it could lead and you're like, whoa, whoa,
let me just take this slow. Let me just back up a little bit.
When you mute yourself, when you downplay you, what you're capable of,

(13:32):
what God's pushing you to do, say, who he's pushing you to be,
that's when you're playing small.
My friend Beth, we played with her colors.
We played with her personality and we've brought, and now she has this landing
page age that you, as soon as you see it, it has the bright reds and bold blues and yellows.

(13:55):
And like you get a, you, an emotion happens when you see it.
You get excited about real estate, about creative financing.
Like you get excited about what's possible.
When you show up as you, other people are able to get excited about what's possible.
You are able to get excited about what's possible. evil.

(14:18):
That's all that we are called to do is show up as ourselves and let God do the rest.
But when you actively mute, downplay, deaden, soften, if you,
you know, how many women, how many women say that they've been told that they're just too much?
Too much for what? Too much for that person who can't handle themselves.

(14:40):
God made you much. I don't think two belongs there because that's who he knew
you needed to be to do the work that he's laid out for you.
That's who you needed to be to inspire others.
That's who you needed to be to have the guts to step into your purpose and go for it.

(15:04):
That's who you need to be. You're not only hurting yourself,
but you're hurting the people around you when you're not being yourself.
When you are downplaying and you're playing small
because someone else might be watching and
might think okay this is how it should be and
instead of being bold and stepping into your true color they see okay it's not

(15:27):
safe to be me because it's not because i can tell that it's she's not feeling
safe to be her so don't don't waste any more time playing small.
Be you, whether that's flamboyant and boisterous or whether it's subdued and

(15:48):
confident and that does not matter.
You be you and the rest, it will shine through.
All right. I have a favorite ask. If you know of someone who is plain small
or needs to hear this about and give them permission to be themselves,
can you share this with them, with your, share this with with everyone.

(16:12):
Because I want them, I want people to see that it really doesn't take much to step into our calling.
It takes us. It takes a action.
It takes our obedience.
It takes us to stop muting what we know is possible and just do it. So you can share this.
Also, if you want to talk about what it means to be you, or if you want direction

(16:35):
on not only what your purpose is, but how to get it and how to step into it
and what it could look like, how you can use it.
Like reach out to me, DM me, let's talk because that's what I love to do.
That is my jam. That is my zone of genius.
And that is what I, what lights me up is helping you stop playing small.

(16:59):
Second Timothy 1 7 says for the spirit God gave us does not make us timid,
but gives us power, love and self-discipline power love and self-discipline and it's the spirit.
Music.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#193 Embrace Yourselves: Breaking Away from Fear and Stepping into Your Power

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

Stuff You Should Know

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

All Episodes

#193 Embrace Yourselves: Breaking Away from Fear and Stepping into Your Power

Dateline NBC