The Funky Panther

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This ain’t your grandma’s podcast recap. After five long-ass years and 200 episodes of pure chaotic energy, The Funky Panther boys are still talkin’ shit, takin’ names, and accidentally jacking off crickets (don’t ask). In this “farewell-but-not-really” dumpster fire of nostalgia, we look back at the beer-soaked beginnings, roast our old intros, and get weirdly emotional over CPAP machines and robot vacuums. Chad anno...

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We’re back, btches. After a short summer break filled with meat sweats and mental breakdowns, the Funky Panther trio returns to shove brisket, burnout, and batsht headlines right into your earholes. Chad, Javier, and Tim go full Texas savage, starting with the 2025 BBQ rankings—DFW’s laying pipe all over the state, with Goldee's and Dayne's making mouths (and arteries) explode. We build the ultimate meat pla...

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Texas is at war, but not with crime, poverty, or actual danger. Nope, Lt. Gov. Dan “Buzzkill” Patrick is busy trying to nuke hemp from orbit, calling regulated THC products “poisonous” without a single shred of evidence. Translation? He’s either high on his own supply of bullshit or getting off kneecapping an $8 billion industry while 53,000 jobs circle the drain.

We drag this political clown show through the mud and h...

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They vanished for two months—and no, they weren’t in rehab (probably). But now the boys are BACK, and chaos reigns supreme in Episode 197 of The Funky Panther. Think less "warm reunion" and more "group therapy session with snacks and sarcasm."

Chad and Tim crawl out from their academic hellholes to humblebrag about finals, while Javier dives into the emotional minefield of health woes, family drama,...

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Buckle the f*ck up, because The Funky Panther just dropped an episode that smells like incense, ego death, and pure audio chaos. Musician and part-time sweat demon Ben C Jones is back—flexible, funky, and freshly cooked from his daily 105-degree hot yoga cult. Spoiler: his chakras are aligned, his joints are loose, and he might’ve accidentally joined a tantric death spiral. Enlightenment optional.

While Ben’s finding n...

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You’re gonna die someday—might as well make it count. In this brutally honest episode, we talk with Kevin, a tissue procurement specialist (yes, that’s a real job), who spends his days elbow-deep in the stuff you leave behind when you check that little box on your driver’s license. Spoiler: he’s not here to steal your kidneys in a back alley—he’s here to save lives.

From slinging HDMI cables at Best Buy to preserving h...

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What do you get when three degenerates dig up cringey home videos, debate astronaut nut trajectories, and confess to hoarding junk like emotional support USB cables? Pure, unfiltered chaos—welcome to The Funky Panther.

Javier stumbles upon a camcorder from his hormone-riddled youth and unleashes footage so humiliating it should be classified under the Geneva Convention. Naturally, this spirals into a confessional about...

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We've all been there—stomach rumbling, cold sweat forming, and no bathroom in sight. In this episode, we expose our most humiliating, panic-inducing bathroom disasters that will make you grateful for every flushable toilet you've ever encountered. From desperate public dump decisions to fully-naked survival tactics, this is the episode you never knew you needed.

Then, we take a hard left into insanity with th...

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The unthinkable has happened—Luka Dončić has been snatched from the Dallas Mavericks and shipped off to the Lakers, leaving us spiraling into a full-blown existential crisis. But was this just another ruthless NBA business move, or is Mark Cuban playing 4D chess to tank the franchise and relocate to Vegas? The conspiracy theories are flying faster than trade rumors, and we’re here to break it all down—mock funerals, f...

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Is your beer stash a sexy investment or just a fridge full of overpriced regrets? We pop open some aged Goose Island Bourbon County Stout to see if beer collecting is a high-class hobby or just a bougie way to justify borderline alcoholism. Jesse’s decluttering tips hit harder than a morning hangover, sparking a debate about what’s worth saving and what needs to be chugged before it goes bad—just like your dreams.

Then...

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$350 champagne with a greasy burger? That’s the kind of culinary anarchy we’re bringing to Episode 190 of The Funky Panther. Mikey finally resurfaces after three years of hiding—probably avoiding our calls—and we’re diving face-first into Fort Worth’s wine scene. Magnolia Wine Bar, 61 Osteria, Bowie House… yeah, we’re basically sommeliers now, except we pair everything with fries. Oh, and did we mention our AI Christm...

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What if your cowboy hat wasn’t just a fashion flex but a gateway to your final form? This week, The Funky Panther goes full identity crisis, morphing from smooth-talking Charlie Crockett to full-throttle Tiger King insanity. It’s less "saddle up" and more "unhinge completely." We also crack open the cursed tomb of The Guy Game (yes, that sleazy relic) and roast the depravity of the “Girls Gone Wild...

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This week, we’re unpacking a travel nightmare where personal space gets tossed out the window, literally. Add in ghost sightings at the infamous Crescent Hotel and TV shows awkwardly sidestepping 9/11, and you’ve got a recipe for unsettling hilarity. Oh, and switching our allegiance from the Dallas Cowboys to Gilmore Girls? Yeah, we went there.

Virtual reality isn’t much better—what’s supposed to be the future of tech ...

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Think holding hands across America could fix the world's problems? Neither do we—but we’re here to brainstorm anyway. Join The Funky Panther as we dive headfirst into the chaos of race, immigration, and a totally fictional (but hilarious) Mexican car industry. With our signature humor and zero qualifications, we tackle the big stuff, sprinkle in sharp satire, and somehow keep it all entertaining.

But wait, there’s...

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What happens when you mix a home birth story with the wild antics of Joe Exotic? You get an episode that's as unpredictable as it is entertaining! We're thrilled to have our buddy Dank817, aka the Big Shark from Too High, back with us in the studio. We kick things off by laughing over memories of our past sessions, including that unforgettable smoky recording incident. Dank opens up about his struggles with ...

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Ever wondered what Halloween would look like through the eyes of a country musician or a mischievous Batman? Join us for this week's episode of the Funky Panther where we transform Halloween into a whimsical country music extravaganza. From imagining adults trick-or-treating to laughing about costume bar-hopping, we usher you into a world where cowboy hats meet candy corn and a crime-free Gotham makes Batman hit ...

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Prepare for a whirlwind of laughter and storytelling as we recount our Austin City Limits (ACL) weekend escapades, full of memorable moments and fashion faux pas. Chad's bold fashion choice had us in stitches, setting the tone for a festival filled with vibrant energy and hilarious encounters with fans like Christy. Whether it was the awe of past performances by legends like OutKast and Eminem or the fresh excite...

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Ever tried capturing the best intro but ended up with hilarious chaos instead? That's exactly where our Funky Panther crew—Chad, Javier, and Tim—found themselves as they stumbled through a wildly entertaining session filled with laughs and candid moments. Starting off with a nostalgic trip back to when radio ruled our lives, we reminisced about the good old days with Disney Radio and Radio Oz. From spontaneous st...

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Ever wondered how a simple game of catch can turn into a comedy goldmine? Find out as we embark on a chaotic and hilarious journey featuring our regular hosts Javier, Tim, and Jared from the Funky Panther. Joining us this time is Jared from the Tales from the Fort podcast, who steps in for Chad, currently globe-trotting in Italy. Jared's unfiltered storytelling and side-splitting anecdotes about playing catch, st...