November 26, 2024 • 19 mins
What happens when life's chaos meets the serenity of gratitude?
I find myself juggling the demands of Snowdrop Foundation, a nonstop freelance career, and the excitement of home renovations. Yet, amid this whirlwind, the essence of gratitude shines through, grounding my journey. With over $6.4 million donated for childhood cancer research, the foundation's success is a testament to the power of purpose and community, filling me with thankfulness. My personal growth, spurred by Accelerated Resolution Therapy with the remarkable Laurel Wiers, brings a shift in perspective—embracing self-worth beyond material achievements. A humorous nod to Aaron Judge sums it up: resilience isn't about avoiding failure, but accepting it with grace and humor.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I encourage expressing gratitude to those who enrich our lives, inviting listeners to join this heartfelt practice. Thank you for accompanying me on this journey of growth and gratitude. Stay connected, stay appreciative, and remember, a moment of thanks can light up someone's day.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hello and thank you for joining me Now.
This is going to be kind ofanother short episode.
No, I'm not giving up on thepodcast.
I think about the podcast everyday.
I really do.
This is just it's the busiesttime of year for Trish and me,
with our charity SnowdropFoundation that benefits
childhood cancer patients.
We pair that with havingrecently moved into our house
(00:39):
and we still have contractorsrenovating things daily, like
they're here all the time.
And then you have my freelancevoice and commercial work
schedule that's completelyfilled up.
And then there's a couple ofother projects that I'm involved
with, and, honestly, the daysjust seem to run together and
before I know it, hell, it'sTuesday and it's time to post
(01:00):
another episode.
I know sounds like I'mcomplaining, right, being so
busy, though it's caused me alittle more stress than usual.
Now, normally I'd go for a runto take the stress edge off.
However, that hasn't beenhappening lately either, like at
all.
For the entire month ofNovember and I'm recording this
(01:21):
on the 25th I have run a totalof 19 miles for the month.
I ran a half marathon onNovember 3rd with my
brother-in-law, paul.
Normally, when Paul and I runtogether, we do this run-walk
procedure like run for fourminutes, walk for a minute.
So I felt like I could hangwith him, even though I hadn't
really run much, especially inOctober.
(01:43):
My entire mileage for Octoberwas less than a marathon.
Yeah, for the month I ran 25,some odd miles.
But here's the thing.
Okay, so I thought Paul and Iwould do this run walk thing.
Nah, paul decided he wanted torun the race, the whole damn
thing.
So no walking.
We finished in 10.03 pace.
(02:04):
Sounds like I'm bitching right.
Well, as I mentioned, I'mrecording this on Monday,
november 25th Yesterday, Iturned 55.
I haven't run in over threeweeks.
November 3rd was the last timeI ran.
But, to quote, celebrate mybirthday and also prove to
myself that I can still be agood runner at 55, if I decided
(02:27):
to train, I chose to run 5.5miles.
See if I can do it in 55minutes or less.
Oh, and I was going to run fromour house past my
mother-in-law's house and back,and so I planned to drag a tire
behind me from mymother-in-law's house to our
house, which was the last halfmile.
(02:47):
I may not be as athletic as Iused to be, but my mind still
thinks I'm invincible.
I know, kind of sounds like I'mbemoaning my age, right.
Well, I'm not.
I'm not complaining, I'm notbitching and I'm not bemoaning.
Actually, I'm grateful for allof this happening and since it's
the week of Thanksgiving, Ithought you know what.
(03:09):
It might be a good idea foreach of us to reflect on what
we're grateful for in our lives.
I mentioned Snowdrop.
I'm grateful that we haveSnowdrop Foundation and that in
18 years, we've donated over$6.4 million to childhood cancer
research and collegescholarships.
I talked about the house andthe renovations.
(03:32):
Guess what?
I'm grateful that I have ahouse, that I can pay the bills
and afford to have renovationsdone to make it the way Trish
and I want the house to be.
I'm grateful that I was able toget my dream car.
Okay, so, before October 3rd,my dream car and it's been my
dream car since I was 14 yearsold.
Well, it just would have been astatus symbol for me.
(03:52):
Okay, it would have beensomething I needed to make
myself feel better about myself.
Well, now my car.
To me, it's a car, it's a damncool car and I enjoy driving it,
but I don't need it to make mefeel any better about myself.
If I had to get rid of ittomorrow, I would having no
(04:12):
problem doing it either.
I no longer define myself or mysuccess by material possessions
.
I truly don't.
Well, damn Klein, what changedmy next grateful life event?
Meeting Laurel Weers onSeptember 19th and going through
two ART sessions with her?
Art is accelerated resolutiontherapy.
(04:32):
It has absolutely changed mylife.
After just our first session onOctober 3rd, I became a new
person.
After our second session onOctober 21st, we rewrote my last
traumatic trigger story.
Those two sessions haveabsolutely changed my life.
I'm still a realist, slashpessimist, but I'm not in
(04:56):
competition with the ghostanymore.
I'm able to see some of my ownpositive traits and no longer
sweat my own failures.
Example I laid out some goalsat the beginning of the year
that I thought would be easy toaccomplish and when I wrote them
, I seriously I thought theywere bunnies.
They were that easy toaccomplish.
Well, the year is almost overand I have accomplished only one
(05:19):
of my goals.
Yeah, we moved into our ownhouse and you know what?
I'm okay with it.
I'm not going to define myselfanymore as a failure because I
only hit one out of 11 goals.
Hell, that's about the samepercentage of success that
Yankees outfielder Aaron Judgehas in the playoffs, nobody's
going to call him a failure, no,league MVP.
(05:40):
Oh and, by the way, I loveAaron Judge, so don't be giving
me any shit about it.
Aaron Judge, big fan, justsaying, anyway.
So what goals did I miss thisyear?
Well, let's see Income.
I wanted to increase my annualincome from last year by $10,000
.
I don't know, I not only failedto do that, I also didn't even
(06:01):
meet last year's total.
This is the only goal thatcauses me a little anxiety, just
because, well, you know, thiscan affect the ability to pay
bills.
But we were able to move into ahouse, was able to buy my dream
car.
I don't think the lights aregetting turned off anytime soon.
Podcast goals I wanted to post48 new full podcast episodes
(06:22):
this year.
Grow the audience to 1000 pluson YouTube and monetize the
podcast.
You know.
Grow the audience to 1,000 pluson YouTube and monetize the
podcast.
You know, make a little moneyfrom it.
Struck out on all three ofthose posted 42 episodes, of
which 30 were full-lengthepisodes.
Audience is still stuck at 566,and I haven't made a penny from
this or from the Tunnel andClimb podcast.
The way I look at it, though, Ihave put up 42 episodes this
(06:47):
year, so I'm only six away fromthe goal.
All right, I haven't lost anylisteners on YouTube.
I've actually gained a couple,but still way far away from a
thousand.
Another thing I wanted to dothis year I wanted to book six
speaking engagements.
Didn't even book one.
Missed that by a long shot.
Woo, had a goal to run 2,000total miles this year.
(07:09):
Let me tell you, even if I runseven miles per day every day
for the next 32 days, I won'teven reach 750 miles for the
year.
Missed that one by theproverbial mile.
Wait, no, missed that one bymiles, and I don't care.
Thought if I hit 2,000 milesfor the year, that would have
(07:31):
included six races, not evenclose.
I won't get any closer to sixraces than 33% completion on
that goal.
Two races this year, that's.
It Figured.
One of the races I would runwould be a 50 miler where I
would lower my 50 mile PR.
No, 50 mile race, no lower PR.
Next race goal was to completeanother 24-hour race.
(07:51):
Didn't even sign up for one.
And then the final goal was tocomplete another 100-mile race.
Closest I got to that one waslooking up 100-mile races to
sign up for Never had anyintention of registering, even
when I found an intriguing one.
In the past, I'd be beatingmyself up for not hitting any of
those marks.
(08:12):
Since October 3rd, myperspective has changed
dramatically.
Prior, most of those goals werethere to fulfill others'
perceptions of me or how Iwanted to be perceived.
Jeez, look what Klein's doing.
Look what Klein did.
Guess what.
Had I accomplished all of thosegoals, it wouldn't have changed
anything about me to anyoneelse.
(08:34):
That's the basic change thathas occurred in me after my
session with Laurel Wears.
What we determined was that whenI was 13 and my dad told me
that I'd have a life of nofuture if I didn't play baseball
anymore, it had a deeper impacton me than I realized.
Yes, it motivated me to besuccessful, and by every
(08:55):
measurable trait I have been.
What I didn't realize is thelatent effect it had on me when
I failed at something.
Take my Alaska run fromNovember of 2019, where I tried
to run the northernmost 304miles of the Dalton Highway from
the Arctic Circle sign to theArctic Ocean.
After 200 plus miles, I neededhelp to accomplish the goal of
(09:19):
taking an 8.9 pound backpackfull of childhood cancer patient
names and deliver it to the USPost Office in Dead Horse,
Alaska, when I could no longergo and I elected to give the
backpack to my buddy, scottTyner, to finish out day number
six and then share the remainingdays and miles with me, I
thought that I'd failed.
(09:39):
It triggered that memory thathad laid dormant for 37 years, a
life of no future that all Icould think about was man.
My dad was right I am nothingbut a failure.
Art and Laurel Wears changedall of that in one session.
How did I almost immediatelyknow I was changed after that
(10:02):
first session?
Because I look at a photo of mydad and feel compassion for him
.
I no longer see him as amotivator.
He's just my dad, yeah, a guy Ilived with for 18 years but
barely knew Now, a guy who Iwish was alive so that I could
get to know him, so that wecould travel together.
(10:23):
He loved to travel.
When my dad killed himself inApril of 2005, I never cared and
I didn't miss him.
After October 3rd.
I do miss him.
I know I miss him because Ithink almost daily, man, I
wonder how dads in myrelationship would be.
You know now if he were alive.
It's something I care about nowthat I never did before.
(10:46):
He's the ghost that I've beentrying to chase.
He's been dead since 2005.
And I was still trying toplease him.
I was still trying to make himproud, and it would never happen
because he's dead.
What we changed in the firstsession is that we took away the
power.
I let someone else's opinionhold over me, and we rewrote
(11:06):
that story to give me the powerto see myself as I am.
We went back in time to thatday when 13-year-old Kevin told
his dad he didn't want to playbaseball anymore, but this time,
55-year-old Kevin went backwith my 13-year-old self.
I know all this bouncingbetween first and third person,
(11:27):
sorry.
We changed the narrative ofthat moment, though.
Then we attached a new image tothe new story, and I got to pick
the image, since I was sittingin the area in our house that
we're renovating into a bar witha gargoyle theme.
I started to cry and LaurelWears asked why are you crying?
I told her I didn't want tocorrelate that negative time
(11:50):
with gargoyles, becausegargoyles remind me of my
favorite place on earth thatI've ever been Notre Dame
Cathedral in Paris and I don'twant to come into bargoyle.
That's what we're naming it.
I know right, clever.
Anyway, I didn't want gargoylesand I see them every day in my
bar to remind me of thatchildhood trauma, and I see him
(12:12):
every day in my bar to remind meof that childhood trauma.
She told me that we wereassociating gargoyles something
I now see every day in my lifewith the new story, the
empowering story, and every timeI see a gargoyle it will remind
me of the new story.
Nothing to do with the oldstory Can't tell you how right
she was.
And the funny thing is, as Imentioned earlier, I would have
loved to have traveled with mydad, who was an adventurous
(12:35):
spirit.
Dude went to Tahiti in Fiji, byhimself on a Russian oil tanker
, just decided to do it on awhim, gone for three weeks, did
it all by himself.
He loved to travel.
He was adventurous like that.
Whenever I see the gargoylefigurines and the photos of
Notre Dame in our house, itmakes me miss my dad even more.
It keeps me in this new storyso much I hardly even remember
(12:59):
the old one.
So in the second session withLaura Wears and I know if you've
listened to this podcast or theTuttle Climb podcast since
October 3rd, you're probablyshaking your head at how
incessantly I talk about her.
Well, when someone rewires yourbrain from wondering every day
(13:21):
if this is the day I kill myselfto no longer thinking about
that act at all for nearly eightweeks now, I can't talk about
her enough, I'm sorry.
Anyway, in the second sessionwe cleared up the failure of
Alaska.
Using the same technique, wewent back to the spot where I
felt like I was done.
I had just climbed up a longtwo and a half mile hill that I
(13:45):
didn't know existed in front ofme.
I was wheezing, I couldn'tcatch my breath.
It took me two and a half hoursto go two miles up that hill
and I told Brian Anderson, mycrew chief, and our driver, dave
and Jeff, our other driver, andthe film crew, and my medic and
friend Scott Tyner.
I said I'm done and they saidno, you're not.
And so we kept the charade upfor another nine more miles and
(14:09):
finally, at 13 miles, I gave outand I couldn't go anymore.
And we cleared that up becauseI always thought that I was a
failure.
But this second session it curedme, and I know it did, because
I can look at the documentaryposter Delivering Hope and not
have those feelings of failureanymore.
I can watch the movie trailerand not hate myself, and I can
(14:33):
watch the entire movie and seeall of the crew having so much
fun on days seven, eight andnine, the last three days of the
run After the solo quest hadended, and I can think look at
how relaxed everybody is and howmuch fun they're having,
instead of what I used to think.
No-transcript True.
(14:57):
The other example I can sharethat I know I'm cured of
thinking of that as a failureand I've only shared this with a
few people is that I've beenasked numerous times if I'd
consider doing that Alaska runever again.
My response has always been no,until October 3rd.
Laurel Wears asked me if I'dever do it again and I said I
(15:19):
could now think about doing it,but that if I did do it, I would
do it differently.
If we ever did it again.
How Simple I'd share the mileswith Scott Tyner and the crew
from the outset, from the firstmile.
That way, I know the mission'sgoing to succeed.
There's never going to be anydoubt.
Can Klein do this?
(15:39):
Well, klein's not doing it onhis own anymore.
Klein's got stronger peoplerunning with him.
Nobody would be stressed,because we would all know that
we're all there to compete inthe same thing and if one person
stumbles, the next person'sready to get up and take their
place.
It's not if one person stumbles, this thing's dead.
(16:02):
We're not going to be stressedlike that anymore and we'd all
have more fun more fun than afrozen crew should be allowed to
have.
And selfishly, I'm going to behonest, I'd also get to see some
of the beauty of the frozentundra that I missed when we did
it last time because my headwas down the entire time.
I didn't get to see theNorthern Lights.
I didn't get to see the vastexpanses of voidness I didn't.
(16:23):
I got to see ground, ice,gravel, entire tracks, and
that's about it.
So yeah, selfishly, it would bedifferent for me.
So am I grateful for LaurelWears?
You know this might sound weird, because I'm pretty sure she's
younger than I am, but she'skind of like a second mom to me
(16:44):
now because I'm reborn sincemeeting her.
Sorry, kind of got off trackthere a little bit.
We were talking about thingswe're grateful for.
I know this is going on alittle longer than I thought.
I'm going to mention two more,just two, and they are the
people with whom I've had thelongest relationships in my life
.
I'm grateful that I met TimTuttle.
(17:05):
I know right, we spent 25 yearstogether on the radio and now
we're about to complete ourfirst full year as a podcast
team.
To be honest with you, Ihaven't had this much fun with
Tim in a broadcast setting sincethe first day we got together.
It's been an absolute blast andit's so cool that you know we
open up to each other.
(17:25):
I'm learning things about himthat I didn't know and he's
learning things about me thislatest podcast.
He didn't know about my earlyradio career and the first song
that I ever played when I gotinto radio.
You'll learn it if you listento the Tuttle Clime podcast.
Anyway, I'm sure I would havehad a lengthy career, but I'm
not convinced that I would havehad the career that garnered 1.1
million listeners per week inthe fourth largest market in
(17:48):
America, making a salary thatallowed me to retire at the age
of 51.
And finally, anyone who has evena peripheral knowledge of me
knows that the most gratifyingelement of my life are my dogs,
and after saying that, I'llprobably be living in one of
(18:09):
their abodes.
Seriously, while I do love mydogs and I love all dogs.
If you know me, then you knowthat I can't breathe without
Trish Klein.
She's the steady to my shaky.
That's not for effect either.
I literally do shake, I don'tknow what it is.
She's the calm to my storm,she's my everything.
(18:34):
And I doubt, with seriousconviction, if I'd even be alive
to record this if she wasn't inmy life.
Okay, I know that was anunderstatement.
Okay, I know that was anunderstatement.
She's not in my life.
She is my life, 100% of it.
I wonder every day what I didto deserve her and I thank God,
karma, the universe and Buddhathat I found her and that she
agreed to marry me With her.
(18:55):
My life is as perfect as itever needs to be.
So there you have it.
Hopefully I've given you achuckle and or something to
think about in this episode.
It kind of went in a directionthat I hadn't intended it to,
but I'm really glad that it did.
So what are you grateful for onthis Thanksgiving?
If there's someone in your lifethat you are grateful for,
(19:19):
reach out to them and let themknow.
Thank you for listening.
I'll see you next time.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of the fuzzy Mike with
Kevin Klein.
Check back often and stay fuzzyfriends.
Fuzzy Mike is a presentation ofthe Kevin Klein fuzzy Mike
industry incorporated LLC.
Hello and thank you for joining me Now.
This is going to be kind ofanother short episode.
No, I'm not giving up on thepodcast.
I think about the podcast everyday.
I really do.
This is just it's the busiesttime of year for Trish and me,
with our charity SnowdropFoundation that benefits
childhood cancer patients.
We pair that with havingrecently moved into our house
(00:39):
and we still have contractorsrenovating things daily, like
they're here all the time.
And then you have my freelancevoice and commercial work
schedule that's completelyfilled up.
And then there's a couple ofother projects that I'm involved
with, and, honestly, the daysjust seem to run together and
before I know it, hell, it'sTuesday and it's time to post
(01:00):
another episode.
I know sounds like I'mcomplaining, right, being so
busy, though it's caused me alittle more stress than usual.
Now, normally I'd go for a runto take the stress edge off.
However, that hasn't beenhappening lately either, like at
all.
For the entire month ofNovember and I'm recording this
(01:21):
on the 25th I have run a totalof 19 miles for the month.
I ran a half marathon onNovember 3rd with my
brother-in-law, paul.
Normally, when Paul and I runtogether, we do this run-walk
procedure like run for fourminutes, walk for a minute.
So I felt like I could hangwith him, even though I hadn't
really run much, especially inOctober.
(01:43):
My entire mileage for Octoberwas less than a marathon.
Yeah, for the month I ran 25,some odd miles.
But here's the thing.
Okay, so I thought Paul and Iwould do this run walk thing.
Nah, paul decided he wanted torun the race, the whole damn
thing.
So no walking.
We finished in 10.03 pace.
(02:04):
Sounds like I'm bitching right.
Well, as I mentioned, I'mrecording this on Monday,
november 25th Yesterday, Iturned 55.
I haven't run in over threeweeks.
November 3rd was the last timeI ran.
But, to quote, celebrate mybirthday and also prove to
myself that I can still be agood runner at 55, if I decided
(02:27):
to train, I chose to run 5.5miles.
See if I can do it in 55minutes or less.
Oh, and I was going to run fromour house past my
mother-in-law's house and back,and so I planned to drag a tire
behind me from mymother-in-law's house to our
house, which was the last halfmile.
(02:47):
I may not be as athletic as Iused to be, but my mind still
thinks I'm invincible.
I know, kind of sounds like I'mbemoaning my age, right.
Well, I'm not.
I'm not complaining, I'm notbitching and I'm not bemoaning.
Actually, I'm grateful for allof this happening and since it's
the week of Thanksgiving, Ithought you know what.
(03:09):
It might be a good idea foreach of us to reflect on what
we're grateful for in our lives.
I mentioned Snowdrop.
I'm grateful that we haveSnowdrop Foundation and that in
18 years, we've donated over$6.4 million to childhood cancer
research and collegescholarships.
I talked about the house andthe renovations.
(03:32):
Guess what?
I'm grateful that I have ahouse, that I can pay the bills
and afford to have renovationsdone to make it the way Trish
and I want the house to be.
I'm grateful that I was able toget my dream car.
Okay, so, before October 3rd,my dream car and it's been my
dream car since I was 14 yearsold.
Well, it just would have been astatus symbol for me.
(03:52):
Okay, it would have beensomething I needed to make
myself feel better about myself.
Well, now my car.
To me, it's a car, it's a damncool car and I enjoy driving it,
but I don't need it to make mefeel any better about myself.
If I had to get rid of ittomorrow, I would having no
(04:12):
problem doing it either.
I no longer define myself or mysuccess by material possessions
.
I truly don't.
Well, damn Klein, what changedmy next grateful life event?
Meeting Laurel Weers onSeptember 19th and going through
two ART sessions with her?
Art is accelerated resolutiontherapy.
(04:32):
It has absolutely changed mylife.
After just our first session onOctober 3rd, I became a new
person.
After our second session onOctober 21st, we rewrote my last
traumatic trigger story.
Those two sessions haveabsolutely changed my life.
I'm still a realist, slashpessimist, but I'm not in
(04:56):
competition with the ghostanymore.
I'm able to see some of my ownpositive traits and no longer
sweat my own failures.
Example I laid out some goalsat the beginning of the year
that I thought would be easy toaccomplish and when I wrote them
, I seriously I thought theywere bunnies.
They were that easy toaccomplish.
Well, the year is almost overand I have accomplished only one
(05:19):
of my goals.
Yeah, we moved into our ownhouse and you know what?
I'm okay with it.
I'm not going to define myselfanymore as a failure because I
only hit one out of 11 goals.
Hell, that's about the samepercentage of success that
Yankees outfielder Aaron Judgehas in the playoffs, nobody's
going to call him a failure, no,league MVP.
(05:40):
Oh and, by the way, I loveAaron Judge, so don't be giving
me any shit about it.
Aaron Judge, big fan, justsaying, anyway.
So what goals did I miss thisyear?
Well, let's see Income.
I wanted to increase my annualincome from last year by $10,000
.
I don't know, I not only failedto do that, I also didn't even
(06:01):
meet last year's total.
This is the only goal thatcauses me a little anxiety, just
because, well, you know, thiscan affect the ability to pay
bills.
But we were able to move into ahouse, was able to buy my dream
car.
I don't think the lights aregetting turned off anytime soon.
Podcast goals I wanted to post48 new full podcast episodes
(06:22):
this year.
Grow the audience to 1000 pluson YouTube and monetize the
podcast.
You know.
Grow the audience to 1,000 pluson YouTube and monetize the
podcast.
You know, make a little moneyfrom it.
Struck out on all three ofthose posted 42 episodes, of
which 30 were full-lengthepisodes.
Audience is still stuck at 566,and I haven't made a penny from
this or from the Tunnel andClimb podcast.
The way I look at it, though, Ihave put up 42 episodes this
(06:47):
year, so I'm only six away fromthe goal.
All right, I haven't lost anylisteners on YouTube.
I've actually gained a couple,but still way far away from a
thousand.
Another thing I wanted to dothis year I wanted to book six
speaking engagements.
Didn't even book one.
Missed that by a long shot.
Woo, had a goal to run 2,000total miles this year.
(07:09):
Let me tell you, even if I runseven miles per day every day
for the next 32 days, I won'teven reach 750 miles for the
year.
Missed that one by theproverbial mile.
Wait, no, missed that one bymiles, and I don't care.
Thought if I hit 2,000 milesfor the year, that would have
(07:31):
included six races, not evenclose.
I won't get any closer to sixraces than 33% completion on
that goal.
Two races this year, that's.
It Figured.
One of the races I would runwould be a 50 miler where I
would lower my 50 mile PR.
No, 50 mile race, no lower PR.
Next race goal was to completeanother 24-hour race.
(07:51):
Didn't even sign up for one.
And then the final goal was tocomplete another 100-mile race.
Closest I got to that one waslooking up 100-mile races to
sign up for Never had anyintention of registering, even
when I found an intriguing one.
In the past, I'd be beatingmyself up for not hitting any of
those marks.
(08:12):
Since October 3rd, myperspective has changed
dramatically.
Prior, most of those goals werethere to fulfill others'
perceptions of me or how Iwanted to be perceived.
Jeez, look what Klein's doing.
Look what Klein did.
Guess what.
Had I accomplished all of thosegoals, it wouldn't have changed
anything about me to anyoneelse.
(08:34):
That's the basic change thathas occurred in me after my
session with Laurel Wears.
What we determined was that whenI was 13 and my dad told me
that I'd have a life of nofuture if I didn't play baseball
anymore, it had a deeper impacton me than I realized.
Yes, it motivated me to besuccessful, and by every
(08:55):
measurable trait I have been.
What I didn't realize is thelatent effect it had on me when
I failed at something.
Take my Alaska run fromNovember of 2019, where I tried
to run the northernmost 304miles of the Dalton Highway from
the Arctic Circle sign to theArctic Ocean.
After 200 plus miles, I neededhelp to accomplish the goal of
(09:19):
taking an 8.9 pound backpackfull of childhood cancer patient
names and deliver it to the USPost Office in Dead Horse,
Alaska, when I could no longergo and I elected to give the
backpack to my buddy, scottTyner, to finish out day number
six and then share the remainingdays and miles with me, I
thought that I'd failed.
(09:39):
It triggered that memory thathad laid dormant for 37 years, a
life of no future that all Icould think about was man.
My dad was right I am nothingbut a failure.
Art and Laurel Wears changedall of that in one session.
How did I almost immediatelyknow I was changed after that
(10:02):
first session?
Because I look at a photo of mydad and feel compassion for him
.
I no longer see him as amotivator.
He's just my dad, yeah, a guy Ilived with for 18 years but
barely knew Now, a guy who Iwish was alive so that I could
get to know him, so that wecould travel together.
(10:23):
He loved to travel.
When my dad killed himself inApril of 2005, I never cared and
I didn't miss him.
After October 3rd.
I do miss him.
I know I miss him because Ithink almost daily, man, I
wonder how dads in myrelationship would be.
You know now if he were alive.
It's something I care about nowthat I never did before.
(10:46):
He's the ghost that I've beentrying to chase.
He's been dead since 2005.
And I was still trying toplease him.
I was still trying to make himproud, and it would never happen
because he's dead.
What we changed in the firstsession is that we took away the
power.
I let someone else's opinionhold over me, and we rewrote
(11:06):
that story to give me the powerto see myself as I am.
We went back in time to thatday when 13-year-old Kevin told
his dad he didn't want to playbaseball anymore, but this time,
55-year-old Kevin went backwith my 13-year-old self.
I know all this bouncingbetween first and third person,
(11:27):
sorry.
We changed the narrative ofthat moment, though.
Then we attached a new image tothe new story, and I got to pick
the image, since I was sittingin the area in our house that
we're renovating into a bar witha gargoyle theme.
I started to cry and LaurelWears asked why are you crying?
I told her I didn't want tocorrelate that negative time
(11:50):
with gargoyles, becausegargoyles remind me of my
favorite place on earth thatI've ever been Notre Dame
Cathedral in Paris and I don'twant to come into bargoyle.
That's what we're naming it.
I know right, clever.
Anyway, I didn't want gargoylesand I see them every day in my
bar to remind me of thatchildhood trauma, and I see him
(12:12):
every day in my bar to remind meof that childhood trauma.
She told me that we wereassociating gargoyles something
I now see every day in my lifewith the new story, the
empowering story, and every timeI see a gargoyle it will remind
me of the new story.
Nothing to do with the oldstory Can't tell you how right
she was.
And the funny thing is, as Imentioned earlier, I would have
loved to have traveled with mydad, who was an adventurous
(12:35):
spirit.
Dude went to Tahiti in Fiji, byhimself on a Russian oil tanker
, just decided to do it on awhim, gone for three weeks, did
it all by himself.
He loved to travel.
He was adventurous like that.
Whenever I see the gargoylefigurines and the photos of
Notre Dame in our house, itmakes me miss my dad even more.
It keeps me in this new storyso much I hardly even remember
(12:59):
the old one.
So in the second session withLaura Wears and I know if you've
listened to this podcast or theTuttle Climb podcast since
October 3rd, you're probablyshaking your head at how
incessantly I talk about her.
Well, when someone rewires yourbrain from wondering every day
(13:21):
if this is the day I kill myselfto no longer thinking about
that act at all for nearly eightweeks now, I can't talk about
her enough, I'm sorry.
Anyway, in the second sessionwe cleared up the failure of
Alaska.
Using the same technique, wewent back to the spot where I
felt like I was done.
I had just climbed up a longtwo and a half mile hill that I
(13:45):
didn't know existed in front ofme.
I was wheezing, I couldn'tcatch my breath.
It took me two and a half hoursto go two miles up that hill
and I told Brian Anderson, mycrew chief, and our driver, dave
and Jeff, our other driver, andthe film crew, and my medic and
friend Scott Tyner.
I said I'm done and they saidno, you're not.
And so we kept the charade upfor another nine more miles and
(14:09):
finally, at 13 miles, I gave outand I couldn't go anymore.
And we cleared that up becauseI always thought that I was a
failure.
But this second session it curedme, and I know it did, because
I can look at the documentaryposter Delivering Hope and not
have those feelings of failureanymore.
I can watch the movie trailerand not hate myself, and I can
(14:33):
watch the entire movie and seeall of the crew having so much
fun on days seven, eight andnine, the last three days of the
run After the solo quest hadended, and I can think look at
how relaxed everybody is and howmuch fun they're having,
instead of what I used to think.
No-transcript True.
(14:57):
The other example I can sharethat I know I'm cured of
thinking of that as a failureand I've only shared this with a
few people is that I've beenasked numerous times if I'd
consider doing that Alaska runever again.
My response has always been no,until October 3rd.
Laurel Wears asked me if I'dever do it again and I said I
(15:19):
could now think about doing it,but that if I did do it, I would
do it differently.
If we ever did it again.
How Simple I'd share the mileswith Scott Tyner and the crew
from the outset, from the firstmile.
That way, I know the mission'sgoing to succeed.
There's never going to be anydoubt.
Can Klein do this?
(15:39):
Well, klein's not doing it onhis own anymore.
Klein's got stronger peoplerunning with him.
Nobody would be stressed,because we would all know that
we're all there to compete inthe same thing and if one person
stumbles, the next person'sready to get up and take their
place.
It's not if one person stumbles, this thing's dead.
(16:02):
We're not going to be stressedlike that anymore and we'd all
have more fun more fun than afrozen crew should be allowed to
have.
And selfishly, I'm going to behonest, I'd also get to see some
of the beauty of the frozentundra that I missed when we did
it last time because my headwas down the entire time.
I didn't get to see theNorthern Lights.
I didn't get to see the vastexpanses of voidness I didn't.
(16:23):
I got to see ground, ice,gravel, entire tracks, and
that's about it.
So yeah, selfishly, it would bedifferent for me.
So am I grateful for LaurelWears?
You know this might sound weird, because I'm pretty sure she's
younger than I am, but she'skind of like a second mom to me
(16:44):
now because I'm reborn sincemeeting her.
Sorry, kind of got off trackthere a little bit.
We were talking about thingswe're grateful for.
I know this is going on alittle longer than I thought.
I'm going to mention two more,just two, and they are the
people with whom I've had thelongest relationships in my life
.
I'm grateful that I met TimTuttle.
(17:05):
I know right, we spent 25 yearstogether on the radio and now
we're about to complete ourfirst full year as a podcast
team.
To be honest with you, Ihaven't had this much fun with
Tim in a broadcast setting sincethe first day we got together.
It's been an absolute blast andit's so cool that you know we
open up to each other.
(17:25):
I'm learning things about himthat I didn't know and he's
learning things about me thislatest podcast.
He didn't know about my earlyradio career and the first song
that I ever played when I gotinto radio.
You'll learn it if you listento the Tuttle Clime podcast.
Anyway, I'm sure I would havehad a lengthy career, but I'm
not convinced that I would havehad the career that garnered 1.1
million listeners per week inthe fourth largest market in
(17:48):
America, making a salary thatallowed me to retire at the age
of 51.
And finally, anyone who has evena peripheral knowledge of me
knows that the most gratifyingelement of my life are my dogs,
and after saying that, I'llprobably be living in one of
(18:09):
their abodes.
Seriously, while I do love mydogs and I love all dogs.
If you know me, then you knowthat I can't breathe without
Trish Klein.
She's the steady to my shaky.
That's not for effect either.
I literally do shake, I don'tknow what it is.
She's the calm to my storm,she's my everything.
(18:34):
And I doubt, with seriousconviction, if I'd even be alive
to record this if she wasn't inmy life.
Okay, I know that was anunderstatement.
Okay, I know that was anunderstatement.
She's not in my life.
She is my life, 100% of it.
I wonder every day what I didto deserve her and I thank God,
karma, the universe and Buddhathat I found her and that she
agreed to marry me With her.
(18:55):
My life is as perfect as itever needs to be.
So there you have it.
Hopefully I've given you achuckle and or something to
think about in this episode.
It kind of went in a directionthat I hadn't intended it to,
but I'm really glad that it did.
So what are you grateful for onthis Thanksgiving?
If there's someone in your lifethat you are grateful for,
(19:19):
reach out to them and let themknow.
Thank you for listening.
I'll see you next time.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of the fuzzy Mike with
Kevin Klein.
Check back often and stay fuzzyfriends.
Fuzzy Mike is a presentation ofthe Kevin Klein fuzzy Mike
industry incorporated LLC.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!