Former Playmate, Deborah Driggs On Self-Discovery, Meeting Trump & Living With Pamela Anderson

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Venture behind the glossy images with former Playboy Playmate, Deborah Driggs as we uncover a tale of transformation from centerfold sensation to a life coach with a mission. Together, we navigate the often-turbulent waters of fame, unearthing the personal battles against anxiety and depression that lay hidden beneath the surface. In a candid conversation, Deborah reveals the pivotal moments that propelled her past the veneer of perfection and into the arms of service and self-discovery.

Strap in for a deep exploration of self-love and the paradoxical power it holds in extending compassion to those around us. We delve into the quirky behaviors that stress can trigger and how setting boundaries becomes an act of kindness, all while navigating the tricky terrain of online communication and the quest for genuine connection in a digital world.

The episode wraps with a walk down memory lane, revisiting the times when Deborah's journey intersected with Hollywood's velvet rope during auditions and on Playboy Rocks. We discuss the importance of resilience in the face of rejection and the transformative power of sticking to a 90-day program for personal change.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey F-U, excuse me, Z-Z-Y, it's the Fuzzy Mike with
Kevin Kline, the Fuzzy Mikepodcast.
Hello and thank you for joiningme again on this episode of the
Fuzzy Mike.
I'm Kevin Kline.
Imagine that you're 25 yearsold.
You're featured in the mostpopular magazine in the entire
world, you're a model and anactress, but you're not

(00:24):
comfortable in your own skin.
You have anxiety and that'scoupled with low-level
depression.
Deborah Driggs seemingly had itall as a Playboy Playmate in the
month of March 1990, but thatwas just on the surface.
As perfect as Deb's life seemedon the outside, it was filled
with that same amount of turmoilon the inside.

(00:46):
Now, well, deb's an author anda life coach and she helps
others navigate through the samemental trauma that she
successfully overcame.
This episode was recorded onApril 16th 2024.
In April 1990, I saw Deb on thecover of Playboy.
I used to get it for the articleand well, I don't know, but for

(01:09):
some reason, that cover April1990, has always been a
memorable one to me.
To let Deb know that I startedthe conversation with an awkward
Some might say creepy HomeReady Debs, debs, debs, debs.
You help us through life'sblows and ebbs With advice.

(01:31):
We get inside your den, which Ivisit every now and then.
You seem to have the perfectlife easy, without any strife,
and that's completelyunderstandable because of your
perfect smile and well mandible.
But what I've learned throughmy research, although it's not
so plain to see underneath yourflawless cover, you were just as

(01:52):
fucked up as me.
Oh, and speaking of covers, Imust confess April 1990, one of
the best A teal tank and a bunnywhistle.
It made my pulse shoot like amissile.
I said one day I'd meet thatchick.
Then I stopped dreaming andwent and played with my word
puzzle magazine, because I'm ageek.

(02:13):
And as time kept passing, mydream became bleak.
But alas, here we are, 30 someodd years later, and my joy and
admiration.
It just couldn't be greaterBecause Debs, debs, debs, debs,

(02:35):
debs, you're still one of myfavorite celebs.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Oh my God.
A plus, plus, plus.
I'm crying.
Hold on.
Oh no, I don't think I've everheard something so funny.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Oh, thank you yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
That was good, that had me.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
You got me you got me .

Speaker 2 (02:47):
I enjoyed that.
I got a good laugh.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
There are only, there are only three covers in
Playboy history that I remember,and that is one of them.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
That is one of them, wow.
Well, that's really reallyflattering because you know, I
don't know that it's one of themost popular ones.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
No, I think the one before that is one of the most
sought after, if I'm notmistaken right.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, yeah, that's, that's my issue.
And what's interesting aboutthat is that everyone thinks
that it's me on the cover withDonald and it's Brandy Brandt.
But since the election and allof that, brandy is not a fan of
Trump and she's very vocal aboutit.
So she was getting rid of allof her issues on eBay and I

(03:38):
bought them all up, and so shestarted.
She was like are you buying allmy issues?
I said, yes, they're acollector's item and it's my
issue.
So I get more fan mail.
Now, today, because of Trumpbeing president, everybody wants
my signature in that magazinebecause it is now a collector's

(04:01):
item.
So, yeah, it was kind of funny.
And then when people would say,are you on the cover with
Donald Trump, I'd go oh yeah, Iwould just, I would take credit,
because where Andy does notwant to take credit for it, she
is completely anti-Trump.
And so I'm like, oh yeah it'sme.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Have you met him?

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Of course, yeah, do you care to?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
share that story, of course, yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Do you care to share that story?
There's nothing to share.
I met him via telephone.
We had conversations on thephone and there was a brief
moment where I was contemplatingflying to New York to meet him
and have a date, but we neverdid that.
He was chasing a playmate.
My girlfriend took it a littleto the extreme.

(04:45):
She was living in New York andshe was telling everybody at the
restaurant she worked at, mygirlfriend's dating Trump.
And it was not true.
I was not dating him.
We had a few conversations andnext thing I knew I was on the
cover of Star Magazine Trumpchases playmate.
And I thought, oh my God, thisis what that's like.
So yeah, I met him viatelephone.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
But if I heard correctly in a previous
conversation you had, you werekind of nervous about going to
New York and meeting him.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I was.
I thought I don't think I'mright, I was really.
You know, here's the thing I'ma late bloomer.
I was really immature in my 20s, you know, I was really.
That's when I was kind ofgrowing up really, and I was
growing up fast in a, in a, inan industry that's very tough,

(05:35):
and so to have a lot ofattention on you when you are
now the centerfold and you'renow on the cover of a magazine,
I had a lot of attention on meand I didn't really know how to
handle it.
And you know, getting a callfrom Trump is like what you know
how did that centerfold in the,in the covers, the three covers
?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
how did it change your life?

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well, it opens doors, for sure, you know it opens
doors.
I think people are curious,interested, and then if you have
some talent behind that thenyou will have some success in
whatever it is you're pursuing.
You know, the sad part is youknow a lot of the girls that's

(06:15):
their only dream is to be inPlayboy and be on the cover of
Playboy, and then that can bereally hard and you see where
they can fall into kind of atragic life, you know, because
there's nothing else.
I always knew that that waskind of the side gig.

(06:37):
That was the gig so I couldtake acting class.
That was the gig so I could getbetter headshots.
You know that was the gig so Icould get better headshots.
You know that was the gig so Iwould meet other casting
directors and be exposed todifferent things.
I never thought of it as themain gig.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, because you didn't have any aspirations of
being in the magazine.
As a matter of fact, I thinkyou tried to turn them down at
first.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Well, I did not have any aspirations.
What happened was I was with anagency called Mary Webb Davis
and they were my modeling andcommercial agent and she called
me my agent.
Vivian called me one day andshe said Playboy is looking for
a cover girl for a new magazinecalled the Lingerie Book and

(07:26):
they would really like to meetyou for this book to be on the
cover.
And I, my first question toVivian was well, is there any
nudity involved?
And I had already done like alot of swimsuit campaigns, you
know, with OP, ocean Pacific andBody Glove, and so I had beach
research.
I had a lot of little swimsuitcampaigns, you know, with OP,
ocean Pacific and Body Glove,and so, beach research, I had a

(07:47):
lot of little swimsuit companiesthat I worked for off and on,
and so, you know, being in abathing suit was not a big deal.
But I did say, is there anynudity involved?
She said I don't think so.
This is for the cover, like shewasn't even sure.
So I go to the audition and theyasked me to take off all my
clothes and put a robe on andthey're going to do a Polaroid.

(08:08):
And I go oh wait, everybody,let's just get through lunch
yeah, I'm not here for that, I'mhere for the audition for the
lingerie book and they said,well, everything we do has some
nudity.
Now here's the deal.
Back then they were looking forbirthmarks, tattoos, piercings,

(08:30):
you know any type of scar.
You know cause.
They wanted to see what theywere working with, cause they
might have to cover something up, or you know, it was a big deal
back then.
Today it's not.
And so I said, well, I'm goingto leave my bra and my panties.
And I did the Polaroid and Ileft and I thought, well, I'm
definitely not going to get that.

(08:51):
You know I'm not, I wasn't in mymind, I'm not the playboy type.
So I get a call that afternoonfrom Marilyn Krabowski, who is
the chief editor of Playboy,asking me to test to be a
playmate.
I was like what?
And so then I was intriguedbecause I thought, well, what

(09:13):
are they seeing that I'm notseeing?
Or, you know, because sometimeswe have like, you know, we
don't see ourselves the wayother people see us.
So I tested and the rest ishistory.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
So this is primarily a mental health and
self-improvement podcast, butbecause we're talking about
Playboy and we're talking aboutyou being a centerfold and
you're very candid about yourstruggles with mental health and
addiction.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
What is more scary exposing yourself without
clothes or being nakedemotionally.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Well, probably being naked emotionally.
You know, we're just bodies.
You know, we're just bodies atthe end of the day.
So being naked it's just ahuman body.
But to be naked emotionally andto be really honest and
truthful, you know, it allstarts with the brutal honesty
of where the problem exists andwhere the mental illness exists.

(10:04):
And whether it's a mentalexists, and whether it's a
mental illness, whether it's apersonality disorder, whether
it's an addiction, they, youknow, they all kind of
intertwine.
And for me I've been on ahealing journey for a lot of
years and it's more about todaygetting to the root of where
these things can come from,cause sometimes you can get

(10:26):
sideswiped, especially if you dosuffer from some type of mental
illness.
You can get sideswiped and thengo into a complete tailspin and
not know how or why you gotthere.
And so I'm on a mission todayto make sure I don't ever have
that kind of tailspin again andthat I'm clear on when things

(10:47):
happen.
You know, to just really thenumber one rule for me is just
to pause and to make sure I havereal good sense of the
situation, because you know,sometimes when we suffer with
these types of ailments orwhatever you want to call them I
don't really like to label toomuch.
But our perspective can be verydistorted and I'm real careful

(11:12):
of that.
For a long time my perceptionwas very distorted and then,
because I'd get very confusedand anxious, I would drink and I
think drinking was the.
Let's just cover all this upand not look at it.
But unfortunately, as we allknow, that will come to a head
at some point in your life.
It does explode.

(11:33):
Something will happen there.
There will be an episode ofsomething where you know it's
like OK, now we're we've gonepast that limit of just this
it's.
It's getting worse past thatlimit of just this it's getting
worse.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
People are going to listen to this and they're going
to say OK.
So Deborah Driggs at 25 is aplayboy centerfold.
She turns down a possible datewith Donald Trump, she becomes a
very successful commercialactress and movie actress and
does a ton of print ads.
What possibly could she havebeen struggling with?
Because we are a nation and asociety that is based on looks,

(12:08):
good looks, and we lovecelebrity.
So and I get this a lot toobecause of my, my stint on the
radio that people don'tunderstand that it has nothing
to do with your success.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
No, it has has zero, zero to do.
As a matter of fact, everythingin life that has been a growing
or learning experience for medid not come from success.
It came from failure.
It came from being rock bottom.
It came from having to go waita second.

(12:40):
You know, I remember being 40.
I just turned 60, by the way andI remember at 40 years old I
had such a mental breakdownbecause I thought what happened
to my life?
Like I used to be sought out, Iused to be, you know,
everything came so easy for mein my 20s and 30s.

(13:00):
Things just came easy.
I mean, I had that kind ofenergy around me where if I
wanted to meet somebody, I metthem.
If I wanted to go on anaudition, I'd call my agent can
I get in on that audition?
It was very rare that anybody Ididn't.
I didn't get to do what I wastrying to do, and so at 40, it
was like it all kind of stoppedand I thought wait, what
happened, you know?

(13:25):
And I literally had a breakdownbecause I had to reinvent
myself and I didn't know how andI had never had to do anything
to reinvent before and it wasreally hard at 40.
And I remember I was so in myhead about it and I went into
such a just such a black holeand started drinking way too
much and not feeling good aboutmyself, you know, and I didn't

(13:47):
know how to give myself love andcare and and all of that I just
that wasn't really in myperipheral, you know what I mean
.
Like I wasn't, it wasn't, itwasn't there.
And you know, when they say whenthe student's ready, the wasn't
there.
And you know when they say whenthe student's ready, the
teacher will appear.

(14:08):
And that's kind of whathappened, I think, when I
finally got ready and wasexposed to a lot of different
things, whether it be rehab or atrauma center, or you know I've
tried everything.
Or you know, shaman, shamansand healers, and yoga retreats.
I've done a lot of these thingsand the more exposure you get,

(14:30):
the more it keeps coming back toit's you.
You have to love yourself andand that's really hard when you
don't love yourself to kind oflearn how to do that.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
For me that's what it kept coming back to, for
everybody's journeys differentand that's why I write about my
journey, because maybe somebodywill relate to something in my
journey and think, oh, that ishappening to me now also, or not
, or maybe not, and so you knowit's you never know.
And so sometimes I think, well,maybe if you know.

(15:09):
Somebody said how many peoplefollow your blog.
I said I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Maybe two.
No, it's not two.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Maybe two, I don't know.
But what matters is is thatwhen I do write something that
people are called to or it'ssomething that they feel
emotional to, they'll write meand tell me about it, and I love
that.
I love when people respond tomy blogs or my journals, my

(15:38):
whatever, because it's reallyimportant that we have that
connection in this world today,because it's it's really hard to
find connection, I think, inthe world we're living in right
now you can get thosenewsletters and the blog at Debs
Den, which is deborahdrigscom,d, e, b O R A, h, d, r, I, g, g,
scom.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Um, I'm never surprised at uh that one person
uh relates to something that Isay or write.
I'm amazed how many you knowthat's that's what surprises me.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, yeah, and and it's, it's, it's, it's not good.
I, I, I know when some, whensomething's getting a little
close to maybe not being rightwith myself, is when I start to
isolate a little bit and I startto kind of hibernate.
I'm like, oh, this is when Ineed to like go for a walk and

(16:32):
connect with people, or energyor call somebody, or you know
that isolation part of thiswhatever you want to call it
disease or addiction or illnessor whatever there's an isolation
component that can be veryscary, and that's when I go, oh
boy, I'm starting to do so.

(16:53):
Now.
I make sure, like I have a veryclear schedule and I make sure
that I have a few people that Icall every single day.
I stay connected very closewith my kids, you know.
There's just certain thingsthat you can do, and I think my
website is one of thoseresources that you can kind of
stay connected to and you canalways book a free call with me

(17:16):
too.
I'm totally open for that.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, deb's a life coach.
Yeah, I am Explain what a lifecoach is.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Well, I like to explain it like this, because a
lot of people ask me well,what's the difference between a
life coach and a therapist?
And I go well, do you want torehash your past or do you want
to get to the point?

Speaker 1 (17:34):
oh wow, yeah therapy is.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
You know and believe me, I love therapy.
I spent a week in nashville intennessee at a place called
Onsite where it is intensetherapy.
I love therapy, I lovetherapists, I love counselors,
so I am a huge fan.
But life coaching is a littlebit different in that I use a
lot of my experiences asexamples and stories to kind of

(18:00):
shift people's perceptions ofwhat they're looking at, because
sometimes you need a secondperson to be kind of a mentor or
a guide and you want to choosesomebody that has what you're
looking for.
And if that coach has the lifeand what you're looking for,
then that's a good match rightthere.
I try not to take advice frompeople that they don't have

(18:24):
really the life that I'm lookingfor, or the financial life, or
the spiritual life or therelationship life.
You know there's a lot ofthings.
you know I wouldn't go to go getrelationship advice from
somebody who's struggling withrelationships you know, and I
think so as a life coach, youreally want to be picky because
there's there's so many now, butwe also live in a time where we

(18:46):
don't have enough.
You know, we have a real needfor mentors and coaches.
And so I mean, I know I did acall with a gentleman about six
months ago and he called me andit was a complimentary call, so
he and he didn't have the moneyto hire me and that's fine.
And I said, by the way, becauseI'm not about the money.

(19:08):
So I said, if you need to talkabout this again, I'll give you
one more.
You know, free session.
But he said, no, you helped meimmensely in just this one call,
and that for me is like gold Ifyou can help somebody quickly
get to a solution and all ofthat.
I think it's important.
I think therapy is important tokind of go through and reset

(19:31):
the past maybe and kind of gowell, maybe I was looking at my
past wrong, but what I do isreally like take a situation
that you're struggling with andtry to come up with a solution
for it.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
I've never quite understood, because I've gone to
psychiatrists and therapistsfor well since 1995.
So do the math.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
And.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
I've never understood .

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, but why do we have to go find out the source
of our trauma?
I know the source of my trauma,you know, I know it.
So now I got to know how to getthrough that.
You know.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Now you need to know how to get through that, you
know.
Now you need to know how torecognize the patterns that come
up when that trauma isirritated.
And and because you know we,you know we can go into a
relationship bringing all ofthat trauma, not knowing, and we
bring it in and then we kind ofbecome like an attachment
instead of love.
It's more like we're attachingand not understanding that we're

(20:27):
bringing all of this trauma.
And I know for me it was like,just please, everybody, love me,
love me, love me.
You know, I was so wanting tobe loved where really, that's
what I'm saying.
It finally got came around that, uh, yeah, you need to love
yourself.
How about that?
How about we start there?

Speaker 1 (20:43):
But yeah, you need to love yourself.
How about that?
How about we start there?
Why do so many people with lowself-esteem and need for
attention go into theentertainment industry?
Because we're so scrutinized,you know, and I hate criticism I
mean constructive or not.
I hate when somebody points thefinger at me, but I mean that's

(21:04):
the career I chose.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
Well, you know, I think there might be a
validation component, like ohsee, I made it and you feel
validated.
But, like we said earlier,success is not going to do that
Cars, money, fame, fortune,relationship, I don't care what
it is, it's not going to fixthat insecurity or that low

(21:26):
self-esteem.
It's not.
It's going to.
You're going to have to figureout how to, how to come up with
the self-love component.
And I know it's interestingbecause when I look back on my
past and all of the auditionsand all of the things that I
worked on and and and, there isthat validation of like, how

(21:48):
many people actually go on anaudition and book a job?
You know, when you look atthose statistics, how many
people actually have their SAGcard, how many people actually
have an agent.
You know there's like, andthose things are really hard to
do and even with all of thatsuccess that I had, I didn't

(22:09):
feel good about myself.
So I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I know.
I do know that for me, I lovedperforming and I think that came
from my ice skating backgroundand the fact that I was always
in dance classes and I wasalways performing and making up
shows as a kid.
So I, I, I like the attentionof performing, so, but I just

(22:33):
didn't have the self-esteem togo with it.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah, I think that's part of it.
Is that because we don't have ahigh self-esteem that we go
into this thinking thatadoration is going to boost our
own self-esteem?
And it doesn't?
You know, it doesn't Because,like you said, it comes from us,
it doesn't come from exterior.
It's got to come from internal.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yeah, Nothing comes from external.
Yeah, of fact, even littlethings that I do.
Now I realize that the questionI ask beforeI do anything is
why, how's this going to make mefeel?

(23:16):
Why am I doing this?
You know, I kind of go througha circle of questions to make
sure that I'm not in my ego,that I am, that it is coming
from my heart and I, you know,and if it doesn't feel like it's
a heart thing, then I sometimesdon't want to, I don't want to
do it and you can get also, youknow, the what do you know?

(23:39):
Imposter syndrome, like, okay,well, am I really living up to
this?
But I find that the more that Iwrite and the more that I do
this, it helps me to stay ontrack.
Really, you guys are allhelping me.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
That was one of the things I was going to ask you
with your life coaching sessions, how much is it helping you on
a personal level, helping others?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
so much, yeah, you know, because I think, at the
end of the day, the number onething that I try to stay on and
aligned with is contribution.
And how am I contributing?
How am I giving back?
You know what ways am I helping?
How am I serving?
When you stay on that, ifyou're serving others, it's you

(24:24):
can.
You're so off yourself, and themore I'm off myself, the better
my life is.
Really, I don't need to focuson this, you know, and I can
obsess, because that's part ofthe thing, right?
So so yeah, of course.
Course, it helps metremendously when I'm discussing
something with somebody andit's like it's so beautiful

(24:46):
because it's not about me.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
So is the term self-love kind of a misnomer,
because self-love sounds soselfish and you're saying you
don't like to put it on yourself.
Explain that term, please.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Well, I wrote a chapter in a book called my Two
Cents on Self-Love, and it isnot selfish, it's really.
You know, think about this themore you are loving yourself,
the more love I think you haveto give to others.
And I start the day every daywith good morning I love you.

(25:28):
I go through gratitude listsfrom head to toe.
I love my scalp, I love myforehead, I love my nose, I'm
grateful for my cheeks, I'mgrateful for my fingers because
I can write.
I go through a whole kind ofseries of like how much I just
love and appreciate this shellof a body that I've been given,

(25:50):
that does a lot of work for me,that I don't even know what's
going on.
It's breathing for me withoutme having to ask it to.
I mean, I go through a wholething of self-love and bringing
that energy in, and I don'tthink it's selfish to be able to
say to people today is going tobe a quiet day for me, I'm

(26:13):
going to give myself, you know,I'm going to take a bath and I'm
going to read and I just wantto have quiet time and I'll be
back with you tomorrow.
I don't think.
I think, when you're very clearabout stuff like that.
It's not selfish, it's.
I think it's beautiful to seethat in relationships when
people are able to say I'mhaving a really bad day, could

(26:34):
you just give me space, you know.
I think that is self-love.
It's not.
It's not about going shoppingand buying a new outfit.
It's not about putting makeupon.
It's not.
It's not those things, it's the.
It's the emotional self-love.
It's.
It's being a light for otherpeople when you're happy with

(26:56):
what's going on here.
It's so contagious.
Everybody around you feels it.
They want to be around you.
They like that energy.
I know.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
I do I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
You know, I have a few people in my life that bless
their hearts.
Their energy is so dark andthey're suffering.
Dark and they're suffering andit's hard to be around them
because they they major in minorthings and and you know, they
look at everything with veryslow, small tunnel vision and

(27:30):
it's hard, you know, especiallyin business.
You know when you're, whenyou're working closely with
somebody who is, who is, verydark.
Know sure and you, you're,you're just kind of, you know, I
get fascinated.
Now I'm like, wow, that is sofascinating that that person
just got so blown up oversomething so trivial, trivial

(27:54):
yeah and you know they say whenyou squeeze an orange, orange
juice comes out.
You know.
When you squeeze a human, youknow they say when you squeeze
an orange orange juice comes out.
You know.
When you squeeze a human, youknow.
And you push them a little bitand you see what comes out.
You just wonder, god, they'reso knotted up, even the way they
walk and and all of that.
You know, I work.
I work around a lot of peoplelike that.
It's really fascinating.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
But to get to that point where you push somebody,
you have to tell them the truthand they have to want to accept
the truth.
So, as a life coach, how do youget them to realize that?

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Well, it's not my job .
So, unless somebody is hiringme to, if they really want that
advice or that differentperspective, it's not my job.
So when I see people like that,I'm more fascinated and curious
about what's really pushingtheir buttons.
I would never say something tosomebody that's not looking to

(28:48):
be coached, because that couldreally set them off, but I do
find behavior fascinating today,really fascinating.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
How have you seen behavior?
Fascinating today, reallyfascinating.
How have you seen behavior?

Speaker 2 (29:05):
change since the advent of the internet?
Well, I think, like I wastalking about earlier, I think
it's more isolating.
I think people sit behindscreens and we don't know who's
typing away and sometimes peoplehave accounts where it's not
really them and they're typingaway and there's some negative
energy.
So we have to be really careful.
A lot of that criticism outthere is really not even worth

(29:25):
our time.
You know these people that arelike trolls.
The Internet is veryinteresting.
Sitting behind a computercommenting on stuff.
That's what I call um braindead.

(29:46):
You know it's like it's.
So it's not, you're not growing, it's just brain dead behavior.
Like you know, you're justcommenting on stuff online
behind a screen and you're notso that that there's a lot of
that with the internet, I thinkwhere you're isolated and all of
a sudden you have thisconfidence to have a personality

(30:06):
online.
But if you meet that person inperson, I'm telling you it's
going to be a whole differentballgame.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
I have a rule that if you would never say it to
somebody's face, you cannotwrite it.
No you can't.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
No, you can't, and that's that's the world we live
in now.
Is that people feel reallyjustified to write all this
stuff online?
And then I guarantee you, likeI said, if you met them in
person they'd be like oh, likeyou know, they would.
It's like they're a littlemouse, so, but they're like this
big tiger online.
So the internet is a very funnything.

(30:45):
I don't spend a lot of time onany type of social media,
although I am obsessed withcooking TikToks, because I'm
learning I'm teaching myself now, finally how to cook, and so
I'm obsessed with watchingcooking videos.
But as far as that, but as faras everything else, I don't

(31:05):
spend a lot of time.
I have people that post on mysocial media and run my social
media for me, because I don'twant to spend that time For me.
I know I'm losing brain cellsevery time.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
It can't be a time suck, you know, and there are so
many more constructive ways tospend your time than going
through and finding out whatwhat people are saying out there
.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Absolutely yeah, and so it's.
there's nothing, there's nogrowth, unless you're you know
you're educating yourselfsomehow or you're in some type
of group that's educating you,or there's just no growth.
It's fun to see family andfriends sometimes you know that
kind of stuff, but again, thatcan get.
I don't need to see everybody'sbirth of the home, birth of

(31:50):
their baby, and I don't need tosee pictures of funerals and
that it just it's gotten out ofhand, it's not not.
There's a little bit of aetiquette that's missing.
You know we don't need to seeeverything.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
And I, literally, and I so wanted to write this
person and say, boy, you've nowwe've crossed the line.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
You know, like I don't need to see a live video
of somebody giving a eulogy at afuneral.
I think there's etiquette thatneeds.
You know, we've lost manners.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Oh, big time.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
You know we've lost manners and there's no etiquette
with social media.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
It's the hey, look at me.
I'm going to post this so I canget clicks and likes and stuff,
and I think it makes your joband I'll put myself in here
because I'm trying to helppeople too.
I think it makes it harderbecause people don't want to
help people anymore.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
You know, people want to help themselves, but they
don't want to help people.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
You know, the most rewarding thing that my wife and
I ever have have done is wecreated a non-profit for
pediatric cancer kids, and Imean that I saw that, that video
of you uh raising money, andwas it in alaska?

Speaker 2 (33:08):
yeah, yes, oh, what.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
What a great well, thanks for watching that, yeah
that that looks so amazing.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
I love stuff like that well, you're an adventure
racer.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
You do adventure races.
Yeah, I love adventure, I lovestuff like that.
What Well, you're an adventureracer, you do adventure races.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
I love adventure, I love stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
What's the gnarliest thing you've ever done in an
adventure race?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Gosh.
There are a couple of things,but you know they had us do a
lot of things in adventure.
Racing is a lot about thesurprise tasks and a lot of
those surprise things that theyput in a race are really like
from the military.
So I remember we got out of thekayak and they made us swim

(33:46):
under the muddy.
Those wires that they swimunder.
You can't get it.
And it was so like a footballfield and we were in the mud and
I was like okay, what is this?
And it was freezing cold and itwas like we already were
freezing from the kayak Causethey made us swim to the kayaks.

(34:06):
It was a night race.
We were freezing in the kayakand then I remember we got out
of the kayak and our coach waslike run, run Cause to warm us
up.
So, and you, it's hard to runwhen you're like shivering, and
so we were running and the nextthing we had to do was go in the
mud.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
So that was probably the gnarliest, because it was
just the temperature wasfreezing.
Was there anything that youwere fearful of when you were
doing an adventure race?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Yeah, heights.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
How do you get over that?
How do you get over it?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
Well, you know, when you're with a team, it's they,
you know, you're, you're you.
If I was solo I probablywouldn't have gotten through a
lot of those things.
But when you're with a team Iraced with two other girls you,
you, you, you're pumped up.
So you know, we had to climb agrease wall, we had to climb a
wall with a rope, just anythingwith heights for me always kind

(34:57):
of freaked me out a little bit.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
What?
What in life?
What?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
freaks you out, or what did freak you out?
Because I know you have boutsof paranoia, I do, gosh, what
freaks me out now?
Gosh, this is a good question.
Um, gosh, this is a goodquestion, probably bugs.
You know, I just I don't like.
I don't like bugs, they belongoutside.

(35:26):
So when I see one in the houseI'm like, oh, that kind of
freaks me out a little bit.
But you know, I've kind ofgotten good with that too, like
I'll just get a tissue and tryto help it get back outside.
And I used to kill.
I said like go for the kill,yeah, but I don't do that
anymore.
I try to help it get backoutside.
I used to kill.
I was like go for the kill yeah.
But I don't do that anymore.
I try to be more likekarmically aware of, like
putting them back in theirenvironment.
You know, flying kind of freaksme out a little bit.

(35:51):
You know, now I had a littleepisode the last time I flied
where we had an emergencylanding.
So now I'm a little freaked outby that, even though I like to
travel.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Can I go back to your 1990, miss March 1990 data
sheet?
I don't know if you rememberthis, but it asks you your
biggest fear and at the time, at25 years of age you said I know
what it was.
What.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Being trapped in an elevator with another actor.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yes, why.
Why is that?
Why was that?

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Because of the egos, you know, because of the total
egos.
Can you imagine?

Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Like just the conversation itself, would be
just like oh my God.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's funny.
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Who knows what I was thinking at the time because
maybe there was something thatyou know that was relevant to
that.
But I could just, you know,imagine what that would be like
for hours being trapped withsomebody and all you talked
about was like that kind ofstuff.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
It says that your turnoffs then were a date
planned to the last minute.
So you like spontaneity.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Yeah, what is it about spontaneity?

Speaker 2 (37:04):
I like the confidence of that.
I like if the person that I'mdating surprises me with
something unusual.
Like you know, we're not justgoing to go to dinner, we're
going to go stop and look at artor something on the way, like
just something spontaneous.
That shows confidence that theyplan something in advance, they

(37:27):
put some thought into it.
I think that is the meaningbehind that.
You know, like there'ssomething really beautiful about
that.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
How do we grow our own confidence?
I mean, that gets back toself-love and it gets back to
self-empowerment and healing.
How do we grow our ownconfidence?

Speaker 2 (37:44):
By serving others.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
But then when you by?

Speaker 2 (37:47):
doing things for other people and by-.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
How do you not get taken advantage of?

Speaker 2 (37:52):
This is a good question.
I think you know it comes withyour own boundaries and knowing
the reasons why you're doingsomething, because if you're
doing it for the wrong reasonthen obviously you're going to
have resentment and you willfeel taken advantage of.
But if you're doing it for theright reasons, it's very hard to

(38:12):
be taken advantage of.
So can you say people can be,you know, not appreciative, and
that's okay, that's on them.
I think that just comes withgrowth of knowing that it's not
about you, it's, that's on them.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Can you serve people and help people by saying no?

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Really how.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
No is a complete sentence, because not everything
is a yes.
Not everything is meant to be ayes is a yes.
Not everything is meant to be ayes and a lot of times people
can cross boundaries and ask toomuch of people and I think it's
okay to say that doesn't feelokay with me or that doesn't
feel aligned with me.
So no, I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Do you feel guilty after that?

Speaker 2 (38:56):
No.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Really no.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
I no Because I'm the ultimate yes person you know,
yeah, that's where most peoplewho are get resentments because
they do so much and then they'reexpecting something in return
and really, you know the wholething is to.
You know expectations lead toresentment.
So really, just to stay ingratitude and know that if I say

(39:20):
yes, I don't care what theoutcome is.
But to go back to how to buildself-confidence, I think it's
consistency.
Self-confidence isn't somethingthat just happens.
I think it's consistency of thelittle things that we do.
The little consistent habitsthat we do every day build

(39:42):
confidence.
So I know there's so manybeautiful stories out there,
whether it's weight loss orpeople who have survived some
terminal illness.
You know it's all those littlesteps that they took to build
the confidence to.
You know, you know somebody whowas obese that now runs
marathons.
They weren't confident whenthey were obese but they took
little steps to build habitsthat then create confidence.

(40:06):
Because you start to buildconfidence when you start having
a pattern and you start havingconsistency.
I know, for me, when I startedto feel a little bit more
confident about my life was, youknow, when I started creating
routines that that made me feelgood about my life.
You know that make you feelsecure and happy and all those

(40:27):
beautiful words.
It's based on what you're doing, and if you're doing things
that are not very self-esteem,you know, if you're getting up
and just eating a big breakfastwithout even thinking about what
it's doing to your body andyou're, and you're slumping down
coffee and you're not workingout and you're, you know, hung

(40:48):
over and maybe you're in a badrelationship, these are things
that will not buildself-confidence true but if you
get up and you drink, you knowyour water with lemon and you
have your ginger tea and youyou're grateful for the
relationships that are in yourlife.
These little things build theconfidence.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Well, you talked about consistency and I know
you're very impressed andenthralled with my cheesy little
poem at the beginning, but Ithink that I think that this
compliment is going to resonatewith you more.
I was listening to aconversation you did it was two
in the morning last night, butthis was a while back that you
had done the conversation andyou were talking more on the
order of acting.

(41:27):
But and I'm going to use thisfor my life and especially for
this podcast you said that 80%is showing up and standing in
line continuously.
20% is talent.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
I use that to this day.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
That is a brilliant yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
It is 100% true.
And I tell this you know, allthe time when I'm anybody asks
me advice, I go look, here's thedeal.
80% of anything, I don't carewhat you're doing, if you're an
entrepreneur, if you're a writer, if you're coaching, if you're
dancing, if you're acting,you're showing up.
Just show up, because you neverknow who you're going to meet,

(42:06):
you never know who you're goingto run into, you never know the
timing of something.
But if you're not showing up,your chances are way lower than
the person that's showing up allthe time and just kind of
keeping their spot.
And 20% is talent.
And we can see that in theworld.
If you look at people that areso consistent, they're not the

(42:27):
most talented people in theworld.
We say this all the time aboutactors or influencers or
whatever.
There's a lot of people outthere, but they just keep
showing up, no matter what.

(42:47):
They just keep showing up, theykeep doing the deal.
So yeah, I believe that ahundred percent.
I also think that no is reallysomething to be, to embrace.
I don't think it's something tocompletely fall apart.
Oh, my God.
They said no like rejection.
I think no is like okay, great,and take it as a maybe, because
that no can sometimes turn intoa yes.
I think people fall apart tooquickly on a no.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, you, you're on record as saying no doesn't mean
no.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
It doesn't, it means maybe it does and I.
It's happened too many times inmy life where people originally
said no to me and then twoyears later they were my client.
So you know I have a hugehistory in the life insurance
world.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, you were like one of the top.
You were one of the top earnersin the country for three years
in a row.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Yeah.
So I have to say that I, youknow, talk about getting
rejected quite often and and Iwould sit in meetings and, and
to this day, because I still,you know, I still meetings, and
to this day, because I still,you know, I still that is my
main source of income.
I still work in insurance.
So, but some people will say tome, uh, in the, you know, in

(43:47):
the office environment, they'llgo, they'll, they'll dwell on
the nose and I'll go.
Well, let's look at how manypeople said yes this week.
Whoa, okay, you know why are wefocusing on the nose?
Those nose are going to comeback around when they realize
there's nothing else to do butto come back to us and it goes.

(44:08):
It goes for everything in life.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
So it's human nature, though.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Yes, and, by the way, I think also I believe in
energy very much so.
So I believe sometimes I'mbeing guided by people saying,
no, maybe there's a reason whyI'm not supposed to do business
with that person.
So I don't take everything sopersonally.
Where in when I was in myacting days, those nose work
could be very brutal, and Ithink that's where I got the

(44:35):
lesson that you know it actuallywasn't brutal and the way I was
looking at it, my perspectivewas off.
It was just going.
It was like that was the timeto go.
Okay, next, what's the next one?
Because, listen, you could do ahundred auditions and maybe
land one job.
Those are the numbers.
So if you're going to getmessed up after 99 auditions and

(44:55):
not really focus on the one jobthat you get, you're really
missing out on some really goodstuff there.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Well, here's a story that I heard from you in a
previous interview and I lovethis because you and I are of
this similar mindset and it'sabout your Charles in Charge
audition.
Remember that story.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Oh, I know it well To this day.
I use it all the time.
Story oh, I know it well tothis day.
I use it all the time.
Please share.
So I do admissions for anacting school today.
It's kind of like that's my funjob, that I love to do, and I
tell this story all the timebecause my job is I interview
people and because I'm a lifecoach, I can help guide people

(45:36):
to understand what's preventingthem from getting their dream.
And so I use this story all thetime.
Because what had happened was Iwas a working actress and I had
a lot of commercials and a lotof success and I went in to
audition for Charles in Chargefor the lead part for Scotty
Baio's girlfriend, and thecasting director's name was
Melvin at Universal.

(45:56):
And I go in and I'm dressedperfectly for the part.
I go in, he and I talk I'm abubbly 25 year old and he says
are you ready?
And I said yes and we start toread and he stopped me and he
goes come sit down and I waslike what Nobody had ever
stopped me in an audition.

(46:19):
And I sat down and he said Debra, I would have hired you the
minute you walked in the door.
You are exactly what I'mlooking for, but, girl, you need
to learn how to act.
And I smartly said to him wheredo you suggest I go?
And he said go study withJoanne Barron.
I was in her class, likeliterally in the school the next
week.
Here's the ironic part of thestory.

(46:39):
I now work for that studio thatI studied acting at and that's
where I do the admissions forBaron Brown.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
But how many people would have heard Melvin say that
and said okay, yeah, this isn'tmy career, I'm not cut out for
this, but you used it asmotivation.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
Oh no, because he was very.
I heard this.
This is what I heard.
I would have hired you for thepart, ok.
When I heard that I thought, ok, I'm on to something.
I'm not completely, but I ammissing my.
I'm a little green.
So I was great at commercialsand I was great at getting like
one line here and one line there.
And I did this TV movie calledclass, class at sea and I did.

(47:18):
I did all these really funthings that were easy and great,
but this was a lead part.
And the fact that he said Iwould have hired you that's what
I heard.
I didn't hear you suck.
I heard I would have hired you,but you need to.
You need to get some acting andand thank God, something in me
said where do you suggest I go?

(47:39):
And he said go study withJoanne Barron and that's all.
I didn't need to hear anythingelse.
It was like I was in the schoolthe next day, like no grass
grew for me.
It was like, ok, this is what Iwant.
And I really studied hard fortwo years and, believe me, my
auditions completely changedwhen I started training.
Really well.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
And people don't realize how hard acting is.
It is not easy.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
It's so hard.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
I go to master classes all the time at our
studio and I watch actors whoare in first and second year and
I just sit there and think, wow, I forgot, I forgot.
You know how hard this is.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Can you share some of the roles that you auditioned
for that you said you were closeto getting but in the end
didn't.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
Yeah, of course, I auditioned for a movie.
I auditioned for Sean Penn, forthe Crossing Guard, and they
went with a completely differentlook.
I actually read with GaryOldman for that part, and this
is that moment.
I'll tell you a little storyabout that.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Please.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
That was the moment that I knew I wasn't giving this
my all, because I showed up atthis audition with the sides and
I was going to.
I didn't have them memorizedand I was going to read off the
paper and Gary Oldman had a bigmonologue, the Jack Nicholson.
He was reading for JackNicholson's part and he did this
for Sean Penn.

(49:04):
He came in and read with allthe actors and he had the whole
thing memorized as if he was onset shooting and I literally
wasn't in the audition.
I was watching him and I waslike, and I was like, oh boy, I,
I.
This is now I've crossed overto a whole.
This is a different way that Ineed to be in this business,

(49:28):
which is way more prepared.
I was not prepared.
I should have had coaching onthis audition.
And I remember driving homethinking I don't know if I have
what it takes to really do this,because if Gary Oldman shows up
to just read with actors withthis thing, hopefully like he
was acting every take and I waslike I was blown away by that

(49:51):
audition, just blown away.
And then there was a time I readwith Billy Crystal and I got
really close to being um, heactually called me in.
He called me in.
He wanted to meet me.
I think this was when he waswith Castle Rock.
This one's going to be hard forme to remember what it was for,
but I went in and met with himand I didn't have to read.

(50:14):
He was looking for a certaintype and I guess I wasn't the
type.
So I met Billy Crystal.
Who else did I read for?
I read for Farrah Fawcett andRyan O'Neill.
They had a show back in theearly 90s.
I don't think it lasted verylong, but that was another
audition that I was not preparedfor.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Well, I think you weren't prepared for that,
because you said that FarrahFawcett was just so immaculate
looking.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
She's so gorgeous.
She is so gorgeous.
I mean, what a beautiful,beautiful lady.
I actually ran into her yearslater.
I was having dinner with anagent at a restaurant and she
was sitting at the table next tous and she came over and just I
was like in awe because she wasolder than me and looked
amazing and I just thought, mygod, she's so gorgeous and there

(50:58):
was another celebrity.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
That in this isn't about an audition.
This was actually when you werea VJ on Playboy Rocks.
Your very first interview, kindof was, was a big deal and I
grew up listening to.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
So, yeah, barry White , wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Yeah, that was, that was.
That was really like that wasmy very first show.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
I think Very first yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
I was so green I I really didn't come into my own
until you know about six orseven shows in I started coming
into myself with that beat.
That's a hard gig, you knowwhen you have to add, improvise
and ad lib and and and reallyplay off people.
And and then I saw I thought,well, this is kind of Meisner,
this is the training that I'mdoing with acting.

(51:54):
So I kind of started using itand came into my own.
I actually really enjoyed doinghot rocks quite a bit.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Yeah, what, yeah.
What other musicians were youable to talk to and get close
with?

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Marilyn Manson was one that was on the Red Hot
Chili Peppers.
They came out with some reallycrazy song.
Yeah, there's just so many.
And then, you know, I got to bein a lot of music videos.
I wish that is the one regret.
If somebody said, what is it?
What regret?
I wish I would have kept trackof all the music videos and I
wish I would have kept all thosePolaroids and all that

(52:32):
memorabilia because you know, itwas way before the internet and
so I a lot of them.
I just don't remember the bandsor who it was, but like there
was one rock band where I was ina swing and they put a lot of
extensions in my hair, so myhair was like really, really
long, and I don't remember theband, you know, and I just I
have the memories and I rememberdoing another music video where

(52:55):
all of us playmates were onstage, for I don't know who it
was.
It.
Could I mean who knows?
Like I don't know who it was.
It could I mean who knows, likeI just don't know.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I my memory's not as good and you know, I wish I
would have kept track of all ofthat, because those were fun,
fun times.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Can we do some rapid?

Speaker 1 (53:15):
rapid fire questions.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Yes, let's change the energy.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Tell me about 90 days .
Why is 90 days a magic number?

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Tell me about 90 days .
Why is 90 days a magic number?
Well, in my experience, 30 daysis just the beginning.
It's just the beginning offlushing stuff out and kind of
getting clear, and 60 days iswhen we start feeling really
good.
And 90 days is when thedecisions can start kind of
coming, you know, and being madefor anything that you're

(53:43):
suffering with.
So for me, 90 days is thebenchmark.
It's it's really important.
I see people get, get 30 dayson something and then they'll,
they go back because they startto feel comfortable and they
think, oh, I'm okay, and thenthey go back to old patterns and
they it just creeps up again.

(54:04):
But if you get to that 60 daymark where you start to feel
even better, then I think 90days it's like it's it's kind of
set in stone, like it's likeokay, this is, this is the deal,
if, if you can do it for 30,you can do it for 60.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
If you can do it for 60, you can do it for 90.
But you have a 90 day programthat you're, that you've
unveiled.
Tell me about it.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
Yeah.
So basically what it is is Itake people through 90 days of
clearing out just everything andyou'll be surprised what you
can do in 30 days.
But the 30 days is kind of likegetting rid of all the cobwebs,
you know.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
It's like a detox.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
It's a detox, a big time detox, because if you take
a lot of stuff away, it's about.
It's about taking away thingsthat are not serving and adding
things that are okay.
So if you take away all thethings that are not serving you
and your gut knows what thosethings are you're only lying to
yourself if you say, well,smoking is not bothering me.

(55:05):
That's a lie.
All of these things affect youVaping, smoking, sex shopping,
drinking, drugs, sleeping pills,gambling all of these things,
even traveling, because that's arunning component.
You know when people getuncomfortable, they like book a

(55:27):
trip, let's just move away fromthis.
So if you take all that awayand then you add in things like
yoga and walking and quiet andsilence and you remove anybody
or anything that's not servingyou and add in things that are,
you're going to have a shellshock experience.
You are going to detox and mostpeople won't get through the 30

(55:50):
days.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
How do you get somebody who's doing a 90 day
program with you?
How do you get them to not lookat 90 days and how do you get
them to look at day one and then?

Speaker 2 (56:00):
day two.
That's a great question.
So it's like anything in life.
I tell people, if you'realready future tripping on what
it's going to look like in 90days, then you're going to miss
all the beautiful things thatare going to happen as we go.
It's like steps you know, yougot to get.
You can't get to the top of themountain without taking all the
steps.
So we start day one and that'sit.

(56:22):
Here's what we're going to do.
Day one we're going to get outa journal.
We're going to start writingeverything that we're feeling,
because I guarantee you, when wedo get to day 90, that journal
is going to look very differentand you're going to want to read
everything that happens.
We're going to organize alittle bit life and set kind of

(56:44):
a schedule.
So we do.
This is like the first coupleweeks.
You know, a lot of times peopledo this because they're really
heartbroken and they don't knowhow to clear that energy from
being heartbroken.
And they keep obsessing andthey keep doing the same thing
over and over.
They keep checking social media, they keep texting, they keep
getting the texting thing.

(57:05):
They do all these patterns thatare making them feel worse.
So if they can get through thefirst couple of days of not
doing that and see thatnothing's going to fall out,
we're all going to be okay.
But there's something that hasto change with those patterns
the first couple of weeks andthen, as we get into the 60 day,

(57:29):
we start adding things thatthey can do to keep the momentum
and then 90 days.
It's just incorporating all youknow.
That third month is justincorporating everything you
know.
Now they're I don't thinkthey're thinking too much about
the texting and the negative andall that because they're
feeling too good.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
When you start feeling good, you don't want to
do those things.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
In therapy, we talk about our past.
Now you and I are talking about.
Don't get so hung up on thefuture.
If we all lived in the present,how much better would our lives
be?

Speaker 2 (58:04):
It's the hardest thing to do.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
It really is, it's the hardest thing to do because
we have this old, you know thisold machine up here that wants
to figure everything out andwants to make sense of
everything, and so we have tosometimes say, okay, we don't
need to do that right now,because right now I'm doing a
podcast.
I'm here with Kevin Klein,who's like the actor, kevin

(58:26):
Klein, and we're having a funnyconversation and we're talking
like I just have to stay where Iam, and a good exercise for
being in the moment is just likewhere am I?

Speaker 1 (58:36):
I was going to ask you how many times have you
asked yourself that today?
Where am I?

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Where am I?
What am I doing?
Where are my feet?
They're not over there.
What I'm thinking about,they're here.
This is where I am.
It's very you know.
The future tripping too is whatcan lead people to depression,
because they try to getsomewhere they can't get,
because they don't know how toget there.
And when your future trippingand you don't know how to get

(59:02):
there, it can cause anxiety anddepression.
So when you're staying put andjust dealing with what you have
to deal with today, sometimesit's good to write it out Okay,
today I only have to do this,this, this and this to have a
successful day.
I think we put too much on ourplate in a 24 hour period, and

(59:22):
when we do that, it's toooverwhelming and most people
will just not do anything.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yeah, One of my one of my previous guests was
talking.
He's a mental performance coachand Bobby Sexton, he was
telling me that the braindoesn't like change the brain.
If it was up to the brain, wewould sleep all day long and
stay in bed because it's aprotective thing.
So, yeah, what you just said.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
I've done that.
I have done that where I'vejust put the, pulled the covers
over my head and thought, youknow what, it's all good, right
here, I'll just stay right here.
For a while I used to have a TVin my room and I used to just
binge watch Netflix or whatever,and then I was like, okay, this
is one of those times where yougot to get out of bed and go
for a walk.
But I have done that where Ijust feel safe to be in my space

(01:00:07):
and my environment, andsometimes I have those days
where that's all that.
That's all she's doing.
Today she's staying in bed, getthe popcorn people, because
it's one of those days, you know, but those don't happen very
often anymore.
The other thing that can causelow self-esteem and not a lot of
confidence, a lot of insecurity, is when you obsess over things

(01:00:29):
outside of yourself, meaningyou know, if you're obsessing
about someone or something andyou're constantly obsessing
about that thing, it causesinsecurity in your body, and so
you have to look at that verycarefully and understand well,
why am I looking at this?
Why am I obsessing over this?

(01:00:52):
You know, figure out what yourpart is in it, because there's a
lot of people that do that,that, that, and I'm, by the way,
I'm guilty of it.
So that's why I talk about it,because I remember, you know, I
would just obsess over thesilliest things.
And then you know, like, if Ilook back now, I'm like what a
waste of time, you know.

(01:01:13):
And also it's only affecting me, it's not affecting them.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
So if somebody is obsessing over a person, them
Right.
So if somebody is obsessingover a person, place or thing,
it's only affecting them, notwhat they're obsessing over.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
So what if you have a goal and you start obsessing
about that goal?

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
That's different.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Okay, how so?

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
That's you, because it's for you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
It's your goal, you're it's.
It has to do with you.
It's it's about you internally.
I'm talking about obsessingover a person, place or thing
that's like.
I don't like that person, youknow, or that thing or that job.
When you obsess over thosethings, it's only affecting you,
it's bringing you down and it'slowering your self-confidence,

(01:02:00):
it's making you insecure andthat's all you're going to keep
seeing, by the way, is stufflike that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Oh sure, yeah, Negativity is far more easier to
.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Contagious right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
So you have to be very careful.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Yeah, I always tell people when they're in a
negative situation.
I go please hurry home and takean Epsom salt bath.
Just get that energy off of you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Yeah, because it's contagious.
Okay, true or false questionshere.
Pamela Anderson was yourroommate.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
True.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Get out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
I know that she was on the cover the month before
you did your centerfold spread.
What is she like?

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Just a sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
I only have wonderful things tosay about her.
She is a doll.
We met in Chicago.
She flew in from Canada, Ibelieve, and I flew in from LA.
She was just getting involvedwith Playboy and she was looking
for a place to live and I said,well, that's a good timing.
My roommate just moved out, ifyou're interested.
So there were three girls inNorth Hollywoodwood and she took

(01:03:04):
the one girl that moved out.
She took her apartment I meanher room in our apartment, and
we lived together in northhollywood how cool yeah, I
always tell people it was.
It was a who's who of who wascoming and going in our, in our
apartment, you know from mar.
Van Peebles, Scotty Baio, SeanPenn, Charlie Sheen I mean, we

(01:03:25):
had the gamut of people that wewere running with.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Your favorite comedy of all time is A Fish Called
Wanda.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Okay, Well, you made mention to Kevin the actor.
He's my uncle, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
No, he's not.

Speaker 1 (01:03:41):
That's my dad's brother.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
Are you serious?

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
I'm dead serious.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
I cannot take it.
Oh my God, yeah, he's one of myall-time favorite actors.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
He's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
Disappointed.
My God, everything he did inthat movie I was like he is so
good.
Everything he did Don't call mestupid Everything he did I was
like, yeah, best, he was thebest and I love.
I love everything he did, evenFrench Kiss, a silly movie that

(01:04:12):
he did with.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
Meg.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Ryan and Timothy Hutton.
I love that movie.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
My wife loves that movie too.
You know he beat.
He won the Academy Award for AFish Called Wanda.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
He beat out Alec Guinness and Martin Landau you
know he was that good, it wasone of the best roles I'd seen,
and I remember thinking, oh myGod, he is just so good Because
you believed he was an idiot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
You just believed he was so dumb.
And Jamie Lee Curtis the two ofthem.
I mean, it was just such anall-time favorite movie.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
And did you really audition for Dirty Dancing?

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
I did.
I absolutely did.
I spent an entire day.
I went and I went in first.
I went through the whole danceaudition.
It was a whole day where theywere having us do different
dances and then people werebeing let go, let us do
different dances.
And then people were being letgo, let go, let go.
And I got to the final auditionand they actually came to me
and said we want you to come andread.

(01:05:09):
And I said, well, I've neveracted.
This was literally before Ieven did anything.
It was like 1986.
I think I auditioned for DirtyDancing and they had me read for
the scene where they're in thebedroom.
That was the scene I read,where she asked him why you do
this, how many women have therebeen, or something.

(01:05:33):
And so, yeah, that was my veryfirst film audition.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Yeah, so it could have gone radically different
and we could be saying nobodyputs Debra in the corner, that's
it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
Nobody puts Debra in the corner.
That's it.
Nobody puts Debs in the corner.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
You are a delight.
I am so glad that we had thistime.
You've taught me a lot about myown self-growth.
And where do you want me todirect our listeners,
debradriggscom.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Perfect and where I think everyone's doing the most
stuff is instagram, so you canfollow me on instagram, follow
my journey there.
I am going to be going on areal radical health uh, health,
wellness journey this year andI'm going to be writing about it
quite a bit and I'm going to betelling everybody what I'm
doing.
So, if you're interested inhealth and wellness, that's kind

(01:06:19):
of the thing that I'm doingright now.
And, yes, my website has a lotof information, which is my name
, deborahdrigscom, and, by theway, if you subscribe to my blog
, my weekly blog I will send you, tell me that you heard me on
Kevin Kline's show, and I willsend you a copy of Son of a

(01:06:41):
Basque, the book that I did.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
Which is about your grandfather.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
It's about my grandfather and it's about
family.
You know the importance offamily history and it shows a
lot of trauma that went down onjust one grandparent that I know
of and it really that reallyput me on another healing
journey because I thought, wow,that's just one grandparent and
a lot of the stuff in the book Ididn't know.
And if you you know, imagineall the stuff, if you knew that

(01:07:15):
your grandparents went throughthat all you know as part of our
DNA.
And I was very fascinated so Iwanted to make sure the book got
published.
So, yes, I will send you asigned copy of that book.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
Do you think that your go-getter attitude is from
your grandfather, who was animmigrant and really had to
struggle to make it here?

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
I absolutely think it absolutely plays a huge part,
for sure, yeah, for sure.
I really hope the book.
You know, I'm shopping it rightnow to have it made into a film
because I think it's a reallygreat, a great story.
And it's unique because it'sson of a Basque and he's from
the Basque country and he wasvery proud of his Basque genes.
Um, but the, the and I, youknow, I don't know a lot about

(01:07:56):
the Basque people, but just fromwhat I do know, and the people
when I was doing research forthe book, what a fascinating
it's.
The oldest language in theworld, the Basque language, Is
that right?
Yeah, it's a very fascinatingculture and so I'm very excited.
At some point I want to go dothat Camino de Santiago, that
trail in Spain walk because Ilove to walk.

(01:08:18):
So I thought that'd be a funtrail for me to do because it
goes through the Basque country.
What's stopping you?
Yeah, nothing, Exactly.
So, anyway, but let me just say, Kevin, thank you so much for
having me and honoring me withthis time and sharing my story
and writing me a poem.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
I'm so privileged to be here today and honored so
clearly, as I'm sure you nodoubt heard, the same thing I
did.
Had Debs and I met in 1990, sixyears before I got married, I
would have had the same shot atDebs then that I have with her
now as a married man.
None, but as her Playboy coveris memorable for me, I'm

(01:09:04):
thinking this conversation mightjust very well be memorable for
her.
I hope you not only enjoyed thisepisode, but that you also
found it informative and thatyou heard something that you can
use in your own journey topersonal growth and
self-acceptance.
And remember, if you reach outto Debs through her website

(01:09:27):
acceptance.
And remember, if you reach outto Debs through her website,
deborahdriggscom and youmentioned that you heard her
here on the fuzzy mic with KevinKline she's going to send you a
signed copy of her latest book,son of a Basque.
My thanks to Debs for joiningme and for being such a great
sport about my silliness.
And and thank you for listeningIf you'd be so kind as to leave
a review.
You know it's something assimple as a star rating, nothing
fancy.
I would greatly appreciate that.

(01:09:49):
And likes and shares followssubscriptions highly encouraged.
Obviously.
As I mentioned in my previousepisode, with audience growth
comes show growth, where we canhear stories and learn life
lessons from even more expertsand fascinating people like Debs
.
The Fuzzy Mic is hosted andproduced by Kevin Kline.

(01:10:09):
Production elements by ZachSheesh.
At the Radio Farm.
Social media director is TrishKline.
For a weekly dose ofpickup-inducing laughter, check
out the Tuttle Kline podcast.
It's the podcast I co-host withmy longtime radio partner of 25
years.
Tim Tuttle, we give you newepisodes every Wednesday.
Now join me next Tuesday foranother episode of the Fuzzy

(01:10:30):
Mike.
We're going to meet a woman wholeft her Amish community at the
age of 17 for a life that goesagainst everything her family
and her teachings believed in,and it led her down a dark and
very sinister path.
Thank you for listening.
I'm grateful.
See you next Tuesday.
That's it for the Fuzzy Mike.

(01:10:51):
Thank you.
The Fuzzy Mike with Kevin Kline.