February 14, 2025 • 41 mins
This episode humorously explores the absurdities of modern dating on International Loveless Day, as Charli and her best friend Suzanne share their wild and cringe-worthy dating tales. The conversation delves into understanding love's many expressions beyond romantic norms, emphasizing friendship and the power of laughter in navigating life's romantic disasters.
• Examining the pitfalls of modern dating
• Sharing awkward and hilarious dating experiences
• Highlighting the importance of self-love and friendship
• Celebrating Galentine’s Day as an alternative to Valentine’s
• Discussing societal pressures surrounding love and romance
• Reflecting on red flags during dates
• Encouraging laughter as a coping mechanism in the face of dating failure
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gag Is Pot.
I am your girl, charli Chanté.
Thank you for joining me onanother Friday.
And today, not just any Friday,today is International Loveless
Day.
So I figured, instead oftalking about lovey-dovey stuff,
we're gonna have like a goodfunny day.
And so who else would I bringto have a funny day with y'all?
(00:23):
Of course I gotta bring mybestie so we to have a funny
funny day with y'all.
Of course I gotta bring mybestie so we can have a good
funny day.
Is she gonna kill me?
Because I didn't give her thescript before we, before we
started this?
So because I want her to be onher feet, I don't want no pre
planned stories, I don't wantanything like that.
So we got best friend Suzanne,if y'all been a day one.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
We got her with us today.
Hey, bestie.
Hey, I'm a little worried.
I don't know what I'm walkinginto, but you know I'm going to
trust the process.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Trust the process.
And remember it's a family show,it's various family shows, but
they might not be family.
It's going to be family-ish butwe're going to family.
It's gonna be family ish, butwe're gonna.
We're gonna keep it together.
It's just a couple of things.
But before we get started, goahead, grab your drinks, grab
your snacks, whatever you y'allgrab.
So we go ahead and jump intothis thing and while you're at
(01:16):
it, make sure you aresubscribing um to the pod.
Make sure you go in the cornerand there's a little plus sign
so every friday when a newepisode is released, you get the
new episode downloadedautomatically.
Make sure you're following uson instagram at the gag is pod
(01:48):
and it is what it is, and youknow it's gonna be what it's
gonna be.
It's gonna be what it's gonna bebecause at the end of the day,
today got it in, um.
So you know people gettingflowers at work today and you
know they're getting booed andyou know getting flowers at the
crib and getting nice little'regetting booed and you know
getting flowers at the crib andgetting nice little dinners and
stuff, and today friday, so thatmean you should be able to be
(02:11):
flewed out or something likethat.
You know it should be realspecial.
Can't use that.
It's during the week.
We ain't gonna do nothing, nottoday.
Today is friday, so it's theweekend it's the weekend.
It's the weekend, so I hopey'all getting flewed out.
(02:31):
I'm not flying anywhere becauseI don't like international
lovers day, because you not,finna, just show me a good time
on one day out the year, infront of everybody, everybody.
You can't take me nowhere todayafter valentine's day.
Yes, you can, because call itwhatever day you won't call it,
(02:52):
I'm not gonna go in here andwait three hours to eat yeah,
it's too crowded on valentine'sday call it what you want, so I
can pull out the list becauseyou ain't got it.
So I want to start off withdating horror stories.
And you know, you know my, my,you know my horror story is a
(03:24):
little bit worse than yours, youknow so.
So you know, bestie, over thereshe got whatever it is.
She got, you know, and we ain'ttalking about me.
So you know, I could be in arelationship.
I could not be in arelationship.
You know, I guess y'all ain'tgonna know, huh so that's the
best way to move.
Hey, in silence in silence.
(03:47):
So you're my bestie.
What is a good dating storythat we should visit today?
Should it be the Kirk Franklinsong or should it be the tiny
feet, tiny legs at the ball?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
baby gap baby gap.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Should it be baby gap ?
Okay, so y'all, we'll talkabout baby gap because, like
this, this, this, this istriggering.
And you know, it was a point intime, you know, where I was
heavy into dating online and oh,we got Spirit Warrior over here
.
It's going to be okay, girl.
(04:29):
She was like I think he good,you need to lighten up, it's
going to be okay.
And I was like, nah, this is aboob from the go away.
You say you got to give it achance, girl, you've been out
here too long.
Nah, but I'm going to go aheadand go, since you say I will be
(04:49):
hard-headed, but I'm gonna go.
So we went on the first dateand we met at glory days was
glory days.
I think so glory days and youknow I was like I ain't finna do
too much.
And you know I put put a littlesomething, something on and I'm
sitting at a table because I'mmy legs are too long to sit
(05:12):
under the thing.
So, for reference, I'm fivenine my legs a little too long
for that bar sometimes.
So I'm texting her and I'm likegirl, I'm like he late, I'm
leaving.
She's like no, just wait it out.
You know traffic whatever,whatever, I'm like okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So he texts me, I'm here and I was like I'm here too
, where are you?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
he's like I'm at the bar, I turn around y'all.
Okay.
Most bars have a bar where youcan put your feet on.
When you go to the bar, y'all.
His feet ain't even touch thebar.
He's sitting at the barswinging his legs and stuff.
I said, oh my God.
(05:53):
I was like, okay, where is thisgoing?
I text Nick.
I said, girl, he's short.
He told me he was tall, he'sshort.
He come over to the table.
He's there.
We're the same height as thetable and I was like, okay, so
(06:14):
he sits at the chair and youknow he's balancing his feet or
whatever.
So he's like let me take thisphone call.
He's like my son calling.
I'm like okay, cool.
So I'm like this is gonna getme tired to tell dick this ain't
gonna work and I need to out.
He's like he gets up y'all.
I kid y'all.
Now he had on some chucks, uh,some khaki shorts in a like a
(06:37):
print shirt and it looked likeit was straight from the baby
gap.
This is like a 5t not a a 5T.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Oh my gosh, he wasn't even in a 6X.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
He was still in toddler sizes.
So I was like, okay, like thisain't finna work.
But here, here go, miss hopefulover here.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Like I try to be optimistic.
You know you got to give peoplethe benefit of the doubt, give
them some grace.
What benefit was there?
I mean you got a good story outof it.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, and then you was like go back on a second
date.
And I'm like a second date,fine.
So the next time we end upgoing to this black I mean um
cowboy restaurant, country bar,and it was like I was the only
black person in there waitingfor him and he was late again
he's like oh, I left my walletat the house.
(07:37):
I knew this wasn't gonna work.
When he came in there with thisturtleneck on and he I kid
y'all, not y'all.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Mind you, we in Florida.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yes, we are in Florida and it was not cold
outside.
Not the least bit.
I was like he's like, yeah, I'mtrying to get some work done on
my house and I'm gonna be in ahotel for a couple days and you
know, um, I'm getting some newwindows and you know, I think
(08:14):
you should come visit me at thehotel.
Red flag number two, I was likeno, I'm good he's like no, I'm
good.
He's like you know, I'm going toget a separate room for my son,
you know.
And it's like what parent isgoing to get a separate room in
a hotel from their child, likethat's under 18.
(08:36):
So I was like all right, sowe're leaving.
And when I go to get, he wantsto give me a hug.
And it's kind of like I thoughtI was hugging LJ because I had
to bend over to hug him.
And then he got into a charger,a Dodge charger.
And when I tell you you knowhow, when kids is playing
(08:56):
driving, they play driving ontheir parents lap and they got
two hands on the wheel, thatshould tell y'all how small this
dude was.
He wasn't a midget, but he wasvery small he was about he was.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
He might have been shorter than me and I'm five
four, so he might have beeny'all about the same height, but
to my first point.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Fellas, don't be out here.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Height fishing if you ain't tall, you ain't tall, you
know and there's nothing that.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
There's nothing wrong with that.
You just not my cup of tea,cause I'm a tall girl, so I like
tall men.
You know what I'm saying?
Like this man look like heneeded a booster seat and the
way he.
It's been a long time since Iseen a grown-ass man go hand
over hand to turn the wheel.
I was like, oh my god, yeah,this is crazy, it's so.
(10:04):
Nick was like no, like stillgive him a chance, and I was
like I don't know what I wasthinking about.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I just I.
I'm like a hopeless.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He was like give it a chance, you being too harsh and
I'm like girl, this man isreally wasting my time.
She's like no, like he might benervous too.
She said cause everything soundgood that he's saying.
So we had to do.
I had to put PI on the job.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
You know I activate.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
She activated and I just want men to know that
everything is online.
You can find anything you wantonline.
So not only did he not own thishouse, I did a little drive by.
I just want men to know thateverything is online.
You can find anything you wantonline.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So not only did he not own this house, I did a
little drive by.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
He didn't even own the house and the house looked
like it was two stages fromfalling down anyway.
And it was, his house was bytarget, y'all.
When I tell y'all I was movinglike a Ninja trying to go to
target because I didn't want torun into him.
I was moving like a ninjatrying to go to Target because I
didn't want to run into him.
I was like, oh no, I ain't goto Target for so long.
And if you know me, you knowTarget, my favorite store.
So after that I was like allright, and and what did it for
(11:18):
me?
What did it for me?
Y'all, I never heard this one.
This man was supposed to come,we supposed to hang out and he
was like, um, you know, myfamily just called and they said
my dad is sick and you know, heonly got like five, seven
business days to live who diesin business days in five to
(11:43):
seven.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Of all the numbers, people can only die Monday
through.
Who dies in business days Infive to seven?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
of all the numbers, people can only die.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Monday through Friday .
I was like Five to seven iswhat took me out.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Oh my God.
And so I quit talking to thisdude, like wholeheartedly.
And when I quit talking topeople, I don't delete their
number, I just put like a do notanswer and I block that number,
um, because I don't want you toaccidentally text me and I
don't know who you are, so Ijust keep that number and block
it.
I guess I forgot to do him,because like a couple months
(12:16):
later he texted me.
He was like hey, he's likeeverything good with us.
Uh, I haven't talked to you ina little bit.
What?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I'm just like like what?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
like you just randomly found my number after
two months and said let me talkto her because I ain't talked to
her in a while.
Like it took you two months,like you.
You circled back around, youspun the block.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I was like nah, and I did not answer and I blocked
him and it was so random that hewould text you, because he
texts you like y'all had justtalked last week or something
like he had been, too a matterof fact it was longer than that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, it was longer than that that was in november
when we started talking.
He uh texted me what likefebruary, yeah, so some time had
went on.
Y'all it just listen, it's,it's, it's, it's, it's tough out
here.
And oh, what about the guy Imet at the day party?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Oh, he was a walking reflect, because how you don't
have a phone and you left yourphone in the Uber and you're,
(13:52):
you got into a day party, butyou don't have no license.
But you got a car, but your carain't working.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Remember, that's the one he.
His driver's license wassuspended, so that's why he was
in the Uber.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Right, and then he oh yeah, and then he had all them
kids.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah.
Okay, I was like, yeah, I ain'tgoing.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
He had too much going on, I ain't going to be able to
.
He gave you a lot for justmeeting at the day party.
You got like three weeks worthof talking on the phone from him
in like 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I did.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
He had some stuff to let go.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I did so, I did he, I did.
He had some stuff to let go, Idid it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I don't I what about me?
Says that I'm a therapist.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I don't know, but people tell you everything and I
don't even be provoking, likethis information, especially
from dude you too nice, like yougotta have an rb you don't walk
around with the rbf.
Like me, you too nice I do, andit's just like.
First of all, why would youtell me all this and then,
except for me to talk to youafter that?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
first of all, I don't believe her.
Don't don't believe her whenshe say she not too nice because
people just walk up to her andshe could be kidnapped tomorrow.
You got, you got to have one ofthem child leashes on her when
you go outside.
One of them wrist ones.
Because you just start saying,talking to everybody, you talk
to strangers, you don't knowwhat stranger danger is.
(15:25):
You don't know what strangerdanger is.
I do.
No, you don't.
Case in point, we was on theelevator on a cruise and the man
was trying to ask us where wewas going.
We said we was going whereverhe was going.
We weren't really going wherehe was going.
(15:46):
We was getting off on the nextfloor but she partying with the
man and he trying to take us allthe way down to the bottom
level no, sir, and she justgoing with the flow listen, I
was drunk.
I don't think that counts,because I was drunk as hell no,
it was like that, though,because I don't know how many,
how many cruise cruise peopleyou didn't talk to, but you, you
(16:10):
just real friendly people, sayhi to me, I say hello, and then
that'd act like you're notfriendly when people speak to
you.
I mean, I'm not for real, itdepends on who I'm with you
talking about in front of CruzBlue, Long Island.
Yeah, he was funny, though youknow I vibe with funny people
(16:31):
because I get down with that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I can't help that.
I'm a caring person, but howyou going to tell me your whole
life transgressions?
Then be like so can I get yournumber?
Hell, no, you can't get mynumber.
Like what you got six kids andfour baby mamas in there.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
You know you behind on child support until your life
is spent what?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
No, oh, what about the dude that told me he owned
the business but he didn't havea car?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
girl, I just man.
Why do y'all lie?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
just, you're such a pretty girl and you have it
together.
I don't understand why you'resingle.
Uh because, because I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Finna put up with no shit like this.
There's a lot going on out herein these streets, girl.
There's a lot.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I just, I just, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I don't, I don't even know, I don't understand.
It's like.
That's why we do Galentine'sDay, not Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, yes, yes.
And so, with Galentine's Day,do you think that more females
should participate in it, evenif they're not single?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, I think they should.
I mean, I think, especially ifyou are like us, right, where
you have a career and then youhave other like stuff going on
where you don't have, you haveto like make time to catch up
Right, like to see you.
Like when is the last time Isaw you in person?
(18:12):
I want to say, maybe like twoweeks ago.
Has it been two weeks?
Might have been two weeks.
I think it's been about twoweeks ago.
Has it been two weeks?
Might have been two weeks.
I think, it's been about twoweeks.
What's today?
Yeah, it was two weeks.
I think it's been about twoweeks, so it's time for us to do
a little meet up, a littlerazzle dazzle, I know well, we
(18:33):
don't even have nowhere to gofor Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
We haven't even figured it out, yet it got to be
in a couple days, though,because we transitioned into
March in a couple weeks.
Oh, you want to go to Cooper'shouse?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, we can do that.
That sounds like the move.
We can go next week.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Well, this weekend.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And then with your nephew, because, because you
know, he and that laid up onsick in the shut-in list, but
that's another day, that's foranother episode.
Um, um, I just lost my train ofthought, but okay, fix it.
Jesus, uh, oh, galentine's daylast year y'all, we had a ball,
a ball.
We went to the casino.
(19:16):
Let me tell y'all, we had aball, a ball, we went to the
casino.
Let me tell y'all we shouldn'tI don't even remember what day
it was, but we shouldn't havebeen out the house.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
It'd be.
We should have waited tillanother day, because, when I
tell you, it was storming and itrarely storms in Florida in
February and we was like wefinna go out, anyway, we just
gonna park in the little garage.
And you know, I'm saying weain't gonna get wet, okay?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
well, the whole garage was full and it wasn't
even valentine's day, which iswhy I'm confused.
But and I'm trying to thinkexactly and it wasn't, it was
after the 15th of the month, soI don't know where these people
begin.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But anyway, exactly, I'm like okay, we ended up
parking on the top so we parkedin the handicap.
Yes, I have a valid sticker.
We ended up parking in.
The handicap was right acrossfrom the elevator, so I was like
all right.
So it was like dumping.
So he's like all right, on thecount of three, we just gonna
run out.
And we're just gonna run outand run Like we ain't got no
(20:15):
time for no umbrella, no,nothing.
We, one, two, three, run outand get in the thing.
It was like whew, we in there,we safe.
Then that's all I hear is yourtitty, your titty, your titty's
out.
And I looked down, y'all, I hada Janet Jackson at the Super
Bowl on it.
(20:36):
And then I looked at the dude Isaid, trying to get into
everybody, he ain't never seenno titties before.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
We popped out the car and you popped out of your
shirt.
Yeah, you were, you were.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was cute.
So I think Galentine's is realimportant, like you said,
especially for you.
Know it's not just for singlepeople.
I know it started off like that, but I think it's a good time
to catch up with your girls,like go out with your girls,
like do something fun, peoplewatch, you know, catch up people
watching.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Oh my god, like with us people watching, it's very
that shit get dangeroussometimes you get too invested
yes, get listen I'm here for agood story now okay, and I, I
have a story every, every day.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I didn't even tell oh yeah, we gotta wrap off a lot I
got.
No, I did tell you.
You made me give you the cliffnotes, but yeah.
So to all the lovers out there,all the non-lovers, do whatever
it is y'all do.
Don't let society say you gottacelebrate your person one day
out the out the year because,like what you doing the other
364 days out the year that'strue I mean, but I do, I ain't
(21:58):
gonna lie and this is a badhabit.
I'm too old to be doing this.
I do, on valentine's day, be onsocial media a lot because I
want to see who posting who.
I need all the tea becausey'all post nobody else's.
Other 364 day I done found outpeople married on valentine's
day.
I done found out people marriedon Valentine's Day.
I done found out people didn'thave babies or expecting babies.
(22:21):
I'm like wow.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, and then some people that post those other 365
days.
Don't post nothing onValentine's Day, because they
not the main Valentine, becausethey not the main Valentine.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
So I'm always be the main Valentine, except for the
last three years of dude thatI've been going on Valentine's
day.
We ain't never got no money.
I always got to pay, he always.
He always heard.
I always got to drive, I got topick him up from his mama house
.
Too much, don't ask me to beyour valentine this year,
(23:01):
because he stay one of yourpockets running, running,
running them, like somebody lefta tap on, I mean like I don't
even do you even love me.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't know the way he be roasting you.
Sometimes I be wondering.
He don't?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
love me, but one day, you know, one day I'ma come
over here and be like y'all I.
Somebody sent me something.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, I probably still ain't.
I was gonna say I can't see youdoing that.
I can see you popping out andshowing somebody.
After it's all said and done,that's the kind of energy you
have.
You have a.
I'm going to keep it privatetill it ain't.
I mean, I'm going to know.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Ain't nobody else gonna know.
You got to know um, so yeah.
So if you had to pick a song,I'm gonna let you do the song
lyric of the week.
This week, you know,valentine's Day day, for lovers.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I knew you was gonna ask me that and I still not
prepared.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Um, let me think I mean, it gotta be a good one,
because you, you, um, you ain'tgonna believe mine what's yours?
No, ma'am not gonna get me totell you I don't have with one,
(24:40):
let me think um, because mine isgone.
Mine is just gonna set the tone, set the mood, like you'll be
like, oh girl, okay, girl, okay,it's not really that hard you
should have a song the way mylife is going, life is lifing.
(25:03):
I don't have no song, that'sanother episode.
Child, that's another episode.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
My song ain't a Valentine song.
What kind of song?
Speaker 1 (25:23):
No, he is not my Lord that's my song.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's a lyric, but I mean we might have to edit.
What song?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
is that we might have to edit that out.
I'm going to edit the word out.
My song is UGK InternationalPlayer's Anthem.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
You know what?
That's actually not a bad song.
That's not a bad song.
That's not a bad song.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I mean because I keep it hood, I keep it with that,
so I think that's my hood song.
If I had to pick, like a loveydovey kind of song, it'd be
adele, uh, easy mine would be,could have been could have been
(26:08):
oh, bye I ain't never heard thatsong.
We could have been I ain'tnever heard that song we could
have been.
I ain't never heard that song.
Uh, what's the gist of thatsong?
We could have been okay, um,okay, okay, I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I don't know.
I don't know what to tell youokay, what's a good breakup song
?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I mean cause Valentine's, I mean somebody
getting broke up with today.
So I mean because Valentine's,I mean somebody getting broke up
with today.
So.
I don't know a good breakupsong yeah, because like like a
(27:14):
good good, a good good likebreakup song, I got a good one,
but you probably don't, um, youprobably ain't never heard it.
It's like an old song and it'svery rare.
(27:36):
It's a song by Ray J called noMore.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You lost me at Ray J, but I mean I could dig it no
More, yeah, okay, I mean I coulddig it no more, yeah, okay, I
get it.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
I mean, I don't think .
I don't think today, like withtoday's musicians, I don't think
there are any good breakupsongs like they, not aggressive
enough for me no like you knowlike we need something like drew
hill five steps.
You know like alia, I miss you.
(28:24):
You know like soft and subtleum stuff, like that trina single
again.
Like you like I need songs tomake a statement.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I mean, the only song I know to make a statement is
Yo Gotti F you oh, oh, that's um, that's.
I mean, I make a statement,right, it do it sound like I
(28:57):
might be going through something, but I'm really not, though,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I should have definitely gave you a template,
because, baby we, I don't evenknow where to go next.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I thought we was coming to an end, but I'm like I
mean, I sound like I'm goingthrough something, but I'm not.
I just this is how I bethinking sometimes.
I don't know, don't ask me.
I'm either give them grace, youknow, let's see what happens,
(29:32):
or I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
This ain't it and for my people that's spending the
block today, don't spend a block14 whoo, the last time when I
spent the block during covid,did that not blow up in my face?
Yeah, don't do that twice,don't do that, don't spend the
block with two people and theyboth exploded oof that's another
(30:02):
story for another day, anotherstory for another day something
gotta stick.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
It's two of y'all something gotta stick yeah, I
mean that's not right, somethinggonna shake.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I mean I'm glad ain't neither one of them stick,
because, baby, I'll probably bein jail, right now.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
No, you wouldn't.
I wouldn't let you go to jail.
I wouldn't let you go to jail,nah.
You a retired, crash out, not areal one.
You a retired, we ain'tcrashing out.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I always been real now, but yes, I am a retired
crash out.
I just be crashing out aboutother stuff these days, but I
mean, that's neither here northere.
I don't think I had a crash outsession this week not this this
week no.
Look at God.
But if you're trying to getback together with your
significant other today, afteryou hear this, you can play Life
(31:09):
Jennings' let's Stay Together.
That's a good spin.
The block song.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Or just not spin the block at all.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Sometimes you got to spin the block because you
missed something the first time,song, or just not spend a block
at all.
Sometimes you got to spend ablock because you missed
something the first time, or youcould spend a block and the
same stuff going to be there.
I mean, it's just how you.
The glass could be half emptyor it could be half full.
It just depends on how you lookat it.
(31:40):
I guess, Just when I spent theblock, I had new glasses and I
was able to see more and I waslike whoa, how did we get here?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I don't know.
You should have stopped at theMexican blanket curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I should have stopped when I found he had no teeth in
his mouth.
That's what I should havestopped.
But there I was being concernedand I was like it's okay, we
can fix it.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I mean you can fix teeth.
You can fix some teeth now,that's something that's fix it.
I mean you can fix teeth, youcan.
You can fix some teeth now,that's, that's something that's
fixable.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I should have known you can't if you don't even take
fixing your teeth seriously.
So I should have known youdon't take fixing us seriously.
So yeah because, you know, Ihope he got his teeth together
since then.
I hope he find the love of histhen and I hope he find the love
of his life.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
And I hope he got some real curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
That's, that's that's .
I could care less.
Every time I walk by a blanketI die.
No, no, no, no.
Remember he did get rid of them.
He had the silk curtains afterthat, the silk purple curtains
after that.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Were they curtains or were they sheets?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
No, they were curtains.
They were actual curtains,because he said that was one of
the things that he fixed,because he was like I'm going to
fix it because I wanted you tocome back.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
You thought you were going to fix this with some
curtains.
I mean, purple is your favoritecolor.
He had that in mind, but itdidn't go with nothing in his
house If he said he was tryingto get you back with curtains.
He picked the right color.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
He said you know what Purple curtains gonna get him
back, what Purple curtains isgonna do it.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
No, he tried.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I bought a new bed room set too.
I was like, oh, where you getthat from my homeboy?
You know his daughter and it'slike why she still got stickers
on the mirror from the daughterthis supposed to get me back.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
No, he said he will leave the door open for you.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
No, he should close it, he was on his best, bruno
Mars.
I should have bought youflowers.
No, I was like you know what?
He shouldn't leave the dooropen.
Matter of fact, he should get anew door and change the locks.
Okay, because purple flower,purple curtains.
(34:30):
This is where my favorite color, purple.
She gonna come here and be likewow.
No, I was like whoa, why.
Why is the curtains purple, buta burgundy rug like?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
yeah, it was given all over the place um I just I
don't understand Sam.
Right, I was like he shouldhave broke out with that Wale
matrimony.
If it's a question of my heart,no.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
He tried the first time and I was like no Breaking
up with me two days before mybirthday, like it's a special
place in hell for you.
Yeah, but he was like, ah,purple curtains when he get back
.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
She'll forget all about it, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Because where have you went in a man's room and
seen a man with a dresser, witha mirror on it?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I don't know.
I'm trying to think, sir, whatare you looking at?
What are you looking at in themirror?
I'm trying to think how many ofthem actually have dresses,
because most of them usuallyjust be throwing their stuff in
a closet listen y'all when Itell y'all I've been in some,
(36:01):
some situationships.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
I try to be nice to that man one day and hang his
laundry up.
He's like you faced him thewrong way.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I'm like, oh okay there was a lot of signs.
There was a lot of signs.
There was a lot of signs foryou to stay away such as because
I'm waiting for you to say theword.
I'm not going to say it, but Idon't know how you went back as
(36:39):
soon as everything rolled by andthe toilet started shaking.
I'd have been like, oh no, it'stime to go so his house backed
up to a train track y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
So I was just in the bathroom one day and I text Nick
.
I said I'm trying to pee andthe toilet is shaking.
Cause the toilet is shakingbecause the train is running.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I'm going to hell yeah, at that point that would
have been enough of me, thatwould have been, but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's okay like we're in a better space.
I'm in a better space.
I'm in a better space now.
I ain't never got to deal withthat level.
My toilet is stable.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah, I got real curtains.
Yeah, I don't know how youcould sleep through that.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I didn't, oh my God, I didn't, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Well at least that's one, the one thing that you
don't have to worry about goingback to.
So there's that there's so manynails in that coffin that don't
need to be reopened first ofall, the coffin has been buried
already.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
I go back to my baby daddy.
Before I go back to that, man.
That's saying a lot.
That says a lot, that says alot.
But hey, man, this fun episodey'all I do gotta have you back
more, but on some, maybe somemore serious next time can you
(38:22):
give me some props so I could be, you know, a little more
appropriate no, I didn't, I needyou I need a little.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I could be a little.
Yeah, I was gonna say I couldbe a little unfiltered.
Sometimes I've been trying tohold my, I mean.
But I like that though.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I like that.
I mean my unhinged episodesmake for the best episodes
because, like after this episode, the episodes that will be
coming in the next few weeks arelike real serious.
So like this is like to breakit up.
You know what I'm saying, causeyou know, like last week
anniversary episode, you know solike going forward.
So you know we gotta break itup a little bit.
(38:59):
But no, next time I'll give youa prompt.
I just needed to see where youwas gonna be at today and I'm
very surprised you were verycontained today I was quick on
you.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I was not very quick on my feet because I was really
trying to think of somethingappropriate but I couldn't, so I
just had to.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I had to just do me, you know okay, well, so I ain't
gonna hold you, but, um, thanky'all for joining in on another
episode.
Um, please remember, if youhave not already liked, shared
and subscribed, please make sureyou do that.
The gag is pod at insta, oninstagram and youtube, and if
(39:43):
you want to do any type ofcollaboration, please remember
it is the gat at.
The gag is pot at gmailcom.
Um, I feel like I'm forgettingsomething else, because I feel
like we did the song lyric ofthe week, which is typically on
the outro purse portion of it,but that was like 15 minutes ago
yeah, so song.
(40:06):
Lyric of the week internationalplayers anthem I choose you.
Um, that's best friend, nick.
I am your girl.
Charlie shantae this is a gagis five bye guys.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gag Is Pot.
I am your girl, charli Chanté.
Thank you for joining me onanother Friday.
And today, not just any Friday,today is International Loveless
Day.
So I figured, instead oftalking about lovey-dovey stuff,
we're gonna have like a goodfunny day.
And so who else would I bringto have a funny day with y'all?
(00:23):
Of course I gotta bring mybestie so we to have a funny
funny day with y'all.
Of course I gotta bring mybestie so we can have a good
funny day.
Is she gonna kill me?
Because I didn't give her thescript before we, before we
started this?
So because I want her to be onher feet, I don't want no pre
planned stories, I don't wantanything like that.
So we got best friend Suzanne,if y'all been a day one.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
We got her with us today.
Hey, bestie.
Hey, I'm a little worried.
I don't know what I'm walkinginto, but you know I'm going to
trust the process.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Trust the process.
And remember it's a family show,it's various family shows, but
they might not be family.
It's going to be family-ish butwe're going to family.
It's gonna be family ish, butwe're gonna.
We're gonna keep it together.
It's just a couple of things.
But before we get started, goahead, grab your drinks, grab
your snacks, whatever you y'allgrab.
So we go ahead and jump intothis thing and while you're at
(01:16):
it, make sure you aresubscribing um to the pod.
Make sure you go in the cornerand there's a little plus sign
so every friday when a newepisode is released, you get the
new episode downloadedautomatically.
Make sure you're following uson instagram at the gag is pod
(01:48):
and it is what it is, and youknow it's gonna be what it's
gonna be.
It's gonna be what it's gonna bebecause at the end of the day,
today got it in, um.
So you know people gettingflowers at work today and you
know they're getting booed andyou know getting flowers at the
crib and getting nice little'regetting booed and you know
getting flowers at the crib andgetting nice little dinners and
stuff, and today friday, so thatmean you should be able to be
(02:11):
flewed out or something likethat.
You know it should be realspecial.
Can't use that.
It's during the week.
We ain't gonna do nothing, nottoday.
Today is friday, so it's theweekend it's the weekend.
It's the weekend, so I hopey'all getting flewed out.
(02:31):
I'm not flying anywhere becauseI don't like international
lovers day, because you not,finna, just show me a good time
on one day out the year, infront of everybody, everybody.
You can't take me nowhere todayafter valentine's day.
Yes, you can, because call itwhatever day you won't call it,
(02:52):
I'm not gonna go in here andwait three hours to eat yeah,
it's too crowded on valentine'sday call it what you want, so I
can pull out the list becauseyou ain't got it.
So I want to start off withdating horror stories.
And you know, you know my, my,you know my horror story is a
(03:24):
little bit worse than yours, youknow so.
So you know, bestie, over thereshe got whatever it is.
She got, you know, and we ain'ttalking about me.
So you know, I could be in arelationship.
I could not be in arelationship.
You know, I guess y'all ain'tgonna know, huh so that's the
best way to move.
Hey, in silence in silence.
(03:47):
So you're my bestie.
What is a good dating storythat we should visit today?
Should it be the Kirk Franklinsong or should it be the tiny
feet, tiny legs at the ball?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
baby gap baby gap.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Should it be baby gap ?
Okay, so y'all, we'll talkabout baby gap because, like
this, this, this, this istriggering.
And you know, it was a point intime, you know, where I was
heavy into dating online and oh,we got Spirit Warrior over here
.
It's going to be okay, girl.
(04:29):
She was like I think he good,you need to lighten up, it's
going to be okay.
And I was like, nah, this is aboob from the go away.
You say you got to give it achance, girl, you've been out
here too long.
Nah, but I'm going to go aheadand go, since you say I will be
(04:49):
hard-headed, but I'm gonna go.
So we went on the first dateand we met at glory days was
glory days.
I think so glory days and youknow I was like I ain't finna do
too much.
And you know I put put a littlesomething, something on and I'm
sitting at a table because I'mmy legs are too long to sit
(05:12):
under the thing.
So, for reference, I'm fivenine my legs a little too long
for that bar sometimes.
So I'm texting her and I'm likegirl, I'm like he late, I'm
leaving.
She's like no, just wait it out.
You know traffic whatever,whatever, I'm like okay, cool.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So he texts me, I'm here and I was like I'm here too
, where are you?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
he's like I'm at the bar, I turn around y'all.
Okay.
Most bars have a bar where youcan put your feet on.
When you go to the bar, y'all.
His feet ain't even touch thebar.
He's sitting at the barswinging his legs and stuff.
I said, oh my God.
(05:53):
I was like, okay, where is thisgoing?
I text Nick.
I said, girl, he's short.
He told me he was tall, he'sshort.
He come over to the table.
He's there.
We're the same height as thetable and I was like, okay, so
(06:14):
he sits at the chair and youknow he's balancing his feet or
whatever.
So he's like let me take thisphone call.
He's like my son calling.
I'm like okay, cool.
So I'm like this is gonna getme tired to tell dick this ain't
gonna work and I need to out.
He's like he gets up y'all.
I kid y'all.
Now he had on some chucks, uh,some khaki shorts in a like a
(06:37):
print shirt and it looked likeit was straight from the baby
gap.
This is like a 5t not a a 5T.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Oh my gosh, he wasn't even in a 6X.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
He was still in toddler sizes.
So I was like, okay, like thisain't finna work.
But here, here go, miss hopefulover here.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Like I try to be optimistic.
You know you got to give peoplethe benefit of the doubt, give
them some grace.
What benefit was there?
I mean you got a good story outof it.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, and then you was like go back on a second
date.
And I'm like a second date,fine.
So the next time we end upgoing to this black I mean um
cowboy restaurant, country bar,and it was like I was the only
black person in there waitingfor him and he was late again
he's like oh, I left my walletat the house.
(07:37):
I knew this wasn't gonna work.
When he came in there with thisturtleneck on and he I kid
y'all, not y'all.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Mind you, we in Florida.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yes, we are in Florida and it was not cold
outside.
Not the least bit.
I was like he's like, yeah, I'mtrying to get some work done on
my house and I'm gonna be in ahotel for a couple days and you
know, um, I'm getting some newwindows and you know, I think
(08:14):
you should come visit me at thehotel.
Red flag number two, I was likeno, I'm good he's like no, I'm
good.
He's like you know, I'm going toget a separate room for my son,
you know.
And it's like what parent isgoing to get a separate room in
a hotel from their child, likethat's under 18.
(08:36):
So I was like all right, sowe're leaving.
And when I go to get, he wantsto give me a hug.
And it's kind of like I thoughtI was hugging LJ because I had
to bend over to hug him.
And then he got into a charger,a Dodge charger.
And when I tell you you knowhow, when kids is playing
(08:56):
driving, they play driving ontheir parents lap and they got
two hands on the wheel, thatshould tell y'all how small this
dude was.
He wasn't a midget, but he wasvery small he was about he was.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
He might have been shorter than me and I'm five
four, so he might have beeny'all about the same height, but
to my first point.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Fellas, don't be out here.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Height fishing if you ain't tall, you ain't tall, you
know and there's nothing that.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
There's nothing wrong with that.
You just not my cup of tea,cause I'm a tall girl, so I like
tall men.
You know what I'm saying?
Like this man look like heneeded a booster seat and the
way he.
It's been a long time since Iseen a grown-ass man go hand
over hand to turn the wheel.
I was like, oh my god, yeah,this is crazy, it's so.
(10:04):
Nick was like no, like stillgive him a chance, and I was
like I don't know what I wasthinking about.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I just I.
I'm like a hopeless.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He was like give it a chance, you being too harsh and
I'm like girl, this man isreally wasting my time.
She's like no, like he might benervous too.
She said cause everything soundgood that he's saying.
So we had to do.
I had to put PI on the job.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
You know I activate.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
She activated and I just want men to know that
everything is online.
You can find anything you wantonline.
So not only did he not own thishouse, I did a little drive by.
I just want men to know thateverything is online.
You can find anything you wantonline.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So not only did he not own this house, I did a
little drive by.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
He didn't even own the house and the house looked
like it was two stages fromfalling down anyway.
And it was, his house was bytarget, y'all.
When I tell y'all I was movinglike a Ninja trying to go to
target because I didn't want torun into him.
I was moving like a ninjatrying to go to Target because I
didn't want to run into him.
I was like, oh no, I ain't goto Target for so long.
And if you know me, you knowTarget, my favorite store.
So after that I was like allright, and and what did it for
(11:18):
me?
What did it for me?
Y'all, I never heard this one.
This man was supposed to come,we supposed to hang out and he
was like, um, you know, myfamily just called and they said
my dad is sick and you know, heonly got like five, seven
business days to live who diesin business days in five to
(11:43):
seven.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Of all the numbers, people can only die Monday
through.
Who dies in business days Infive to seven?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
of all the numbers, people can only die.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Monday through Friday .
I was like Five to seven iswhat took me out.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Oh my God.
And so I quit talking to thisdude, like wholeheartedly.
And when I quit talking topeople, I don't delete their
number, I just put like a do notanswer and I block that number,
um, because I don't want you toaccidentally text me and I
don't know who you are, so Ijust keep that number and block
it.
I guess I forgot to do him,because like a couple months
(12:16):
later he texted me.
He was like hey, he's likeeverything good with us.
Uh, I haven't talked to you ina little bit.
What?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I'm just like like what?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
like you just randomly found my number after
two months and said let me talkto her because I ain't talked to
her in a while.
Like it took you two months,like you.
You circled back around, youspun the block.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I was like nah, and I did not answer and I blocked
him and it was so random that hewould text you, because he
texts you like y'all had justtalked last week or something
like he had been, too a matterof fact it was longer than that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, it was longer than that that was in november
when we started talking.
He uh texted me what likefebruary, yeah, so some time had
went on.
Y'all it just listen, it's,it's, it's, it's, it's tough out
here.
And oh, what about the guy Imet at the day party?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Oh, he was a walking reflect, because how you don't
have a phone and you left yourphone in the Uber and you're,
(13:52):
you got into a day party, butyou don't have no license.
But you got a car, but your carain't working.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Remember, that's the one he.
His driver's license wassuspended, so that's why he was
in the Uber.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Right, and then he oh yeah, and then he had all them
kids.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah.
Okay, I was like, yeah, I ain'tgoing.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
He had too much going on, I ain't going to be able to
.
He gave you a lot for justmeeting at the day party.
You got like three weeks worthof talking on the phone from him
in like 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I did.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
He had some stuff to let go.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I did so, I did he, I did.
He had some stuff to let go, Idid it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I don't I what about me?
Says that I'm a therapist.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I don't know, but people tell you everything and I
don't even be provoking, likethis information, especially
from dude you too nice, like yougotta have an rb you don't walk
around with the rbf.
Like me, you too nice I do, andit's just like.
First of all, why would youtell me all this and then,
except for me to talk to youafter that?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
first of all, I don't believe her.
Don't don't believe her whenshe say she not too nice because
people just walk up to her andshe could be kidnapped tomorrow.
You got, you got to have one ofthem child leashes on her when
you go outside.
One of them wrist ones.
Because you just start saying,talking to everybody, you talk
to strangers, you don't knowwhat stranger danger is.
(15:25):
You don't know what strangerdanger is.
I do.
No, you don't.
Case in point, we was on theelevator on a cruise and the man
was trying to ask us where wewas going.
We said we was going whereverhe was going.
We weren't really going wherehe was going.
(15:46):
We was getting off on the nextfloor but she partying with the
man and he trying to take us allthe way down to the bottom
level no, sir, and she justgoing with the flow listen, I
was drunk.
I don't think that counts,because I was drunk as hell no,
it was like that, though,because I don't know how many,
how many cruise cruise peopleyou didn't talk to, but you, you
(16:10):
just real friendly people, sayhi to me, I say hello, and then
that'd act like you're notfriendly when people speak to
you.
I mean, I'm not for real, itdepends on who I'm with you
talking about in front of CruzBlue, Long Island.
Yeah, he was funny, though youknow I vibe with funny people
(16:31):
because I get down with that.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I can't help that.
I'm a caring person, but howyou going to tell me your whole
life transgressions?
Then be like so can I get yournumber?
Hell, no, you can't get mynumber.
Like what you got six kids andfour baby mamas in there.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
You know you behind on child support until your life
is spent what?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
No, oh, what about the dude that told me he owned
the business but he didn't havea car?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
girl, I just man.
Why do y'all lie?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
just, you're such a pretty girl and you have it
together.
I don't understand why you'resingle.
Uh because, because I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Finna put up with no shit like this.
There's a lot going on out herein these streets, girl.
There's a lot.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I just, I just, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I don't, I don't even know, I don't understand.
It's like.
That's why we do Galentine'sDay, not Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yes, yes, yes.
And so, with Galentine's Day,do you think that more females
should participate in it, evenif they're not single?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, I think they should.
I mean, I think, especially ifyou are like us, right, where
you have a career and then youhave other like stuff going on
where you don't have, you haveto like make time to catch up
Right, like to see you.
Like when is the last time Isaw you in person?
(18:12):
I want to say, maybe like twoweeks ago.
Has it been two weeks?
Might have been two weeks.
I think it's been about twoweeks ago.
Has it been two weeks?
Might have been two weeks.
I think, it's been about twoweeks.
What's today?
Yeah, it was two weeks.
I think it's been about twoweeks, so it's time for us to do
a little meet up, a littlerazzle dazzle, I know well, we
(18:33):
don't even have nowhere to gofor Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
We haven't even figured it out, yet it got to be
in a couple days, though,because we transitioned into
March in a couple weeks.
Oh, you want to go to Cooper'shouse?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, that sounds good.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, we can do that.
That sounds like the move.
We can go next week.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Well, this weekend.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And then with your nephew, because, because you
know, he and that laid up onsick in the shut-in list, but
that's another day, that's foranother episode.
Um, um, I just lost my train ofthought, but okay, fix it.
Jesus, uh, oh, galentine's daylast year y'all, we had a ball,
a ball.
We went to the casino.
(19:16):
Let me tell y'all, we had aball, a ball, we went to the
casino.
Let me tell y'all we shouldn'tI don't even remember what day
it was, but we shouldn't havebeen out the house.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
It'd be.
We should have waited tillanother day, because, when I
tell you, it was storming and itrarely storms in Florida in
February and we was like wefinna go out, anyway, we just
gonna park in the little garage.
And you know, I'm saying weain't gonna get wet, okay?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
well, the whole garage was full and it wasn't
even valentine's day, which iswhy I'm confused.
But and I'm trying to thinkexactly and it wasn't, it was
after the 15th of the month, soI don't know where these people
begin.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But anyway, exactly, I'm like okay, we ended up
parking on the top so we parkedin the handicap.
Yes, I have a valid sticker.
We ended up parking in.
The handicap was right acrossfrom the elevator, so I was like
all right.
So it was like dumping.
So he's like all right, on thecount of three, we just gonna
run out.
And we're just gonna run outand run Like we ain't got no
(20:15):
time for no umbrella, no,nothing.
We, one, two, three, run outand get in the thing.
It was like whew, we in there,we safe.
Then that's all I hear is yourtitty, your titty, your titty's
out.
And I looked down, y'all, I hada Janet Jackson at the Super
Bowl on it.
(20:36):
And then I looked at the dude Isaid, trying to get into
everybody, he ain't never seenno titties before.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
We popped out the car and you popped out of your
shirt.
Yeah, you were, you were.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I was cute.
So I think Galentine's is realimportant, like you said,
especially for you.
Know it's not just for singlepeople.
I know it started off like that, but I think it's a good time
to catch up with your girls,like go out with your girls,
like do something fun, peoplewatch, you know, catch up people
watching.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Oh my god, like with us people watching, it's very
that shit get dangeroussometimes you get too invested
yes, get listen I'm here for agood story now okay, and I, I
have a story every, every day.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
I didn't even tell oh yeah, we gotta wrap off a lot I
got.
No, I did tell you.
You made me give you the cliffnotes, but yeah.
So to all the lovers out there,all the non-lovers, do whatever
it is y'all do.
Don't let society say you gottacelebrate your person one day
out the out the year because,like what you doing the other
364 days out the year that'strue I mean, but I do, I ain't
(21:58):
gonna lie and this is a badhabit.
I'm too old to be doing this.
I do, on valentine's day, be onsocial media a lot because I
want to see who posting who.
I need all the tea becausey'all post nobody else's.
Other 364 day I done found outpeople married on valentine's
day.
I done found out people marriedon Valentine's Day.
I done found out people didn'thave babies or expecting babies.
(22:21):
I'm like wow.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Yeah, and then some people that post those other 365
days.
Don't post nothing onValentine's Day, because they
not the main Valentine, becausethey not the main Valentine.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
So I'm always be the main Valentine, except for the
last three years of dude thatI've been going on Valentine's
day.
We ain't never got no money.
I always got to pay, he always.
He always heard.
I always got to drive, I got topick him up from his mama house
.
Too much, don't ask me to beyour valentine this year,
(23:01):
because he stay one of yourpockets running, running,
running them, like somebody lefta tap on, I mean like I don't
even do you even love me.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't know the way he be roasting you.
Sometimes I be wondering.
He don't?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
love me, but one day, you know, one day I'ma come
over here and be like y'all I.
Somebody sent me something.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, I probably still ain't.
I was gonna say I can't see youdoing that.
I can see you popping out andshowing somebody.
After it's all said and done,that's the kind of energy you
have.
You have a.
I'm going to keep it privatetill it ain't.
I mean, I'm going to know.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Ain't nobody else gonna know.
You got to know um, so yeah.
So if you had to pick a song,I'm gonna let you do the song
lyric of the week.
This week, you know,valentine's Day day, for lovers.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I knew you was gonna ask me that and I still not
prepared.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Um, let me think I mean, it gotta be a good one,
because you, you, um, you ain'tgonna believe mine what's yours?
No, ma'am not gonna get me totell you I don't have with one,
(24:40):
let me think um, because mine isgone.
Mine is just gonna set the tone, set the mood, like you'll be
like, oh girl, okay, girl, okay,it's not really that hard you
should have a song the way mylife is going, life is lifing.
(25:03):
I don't have no song, that'sanother episode.
Child, that's another episode.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
My song ain't a Valentine song.
What kind of song?
Speaker 1 (25:23):
No, he is not my Lord that's my song.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's a lyric, but I mean we might have to edit.
What song?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
is that we might have to edit that out.
I'm going to edit the word out.
My song is UGK InternationalPlayer's Anthem.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
You know what?
That's actually not a bad song.
That's not a bad song.
That's not a bad song.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I mean because I keep it hood, I keep it with that,
so I think that's my hood song.
If I had to pick, like a loveydovey kind of song, it'd be
adele, uh, easy mine would be,could have been could have been
(26:08):
oh, bye I ain't never heard thatsong.
We could have been I ain'tnever heard that song we could
have been.
I ain't never heard that song.
Uh, what's the gist of thatsong?
We could have been okay, um,okay, okay, I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I don't know.
I don't know what to tell youokay, what's a good breakup song
?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I mean cause Valentine's, I mean somebody
getting broke up with today.
So I mean because Valentine's,I mean somebody getting broke up
with today.
So.
I don't know a good breakupsong yeah, because like like a
(27:14):
good good, a good good likebreakup song, I got a good one,
but you probably don't, um, youprobably ain't never heard it.
It's like an old song and it'svery rare.
(27:36):
It's a song by Ray J called noMore.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You lost me at Ray J, but I mean I could dig it no
More, yeah, okay, I mean I coulddig it no more, yeah, okay, I
get it.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
I mean, I don't think .
I don't think today, like withtoday's musicians, I don't think
there are any good breakupsongs like they, not aggressive
enough for me no like you knowlike we need something like drew
hill five steps.
You know like alia, I miss you.
(28:24):
You know like soft and subtleum stuff, like that trina single
again.
Like you like I need songs tomake a statement.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I mean, the only song I know to make a statement is
Yo Gotti F you oh, oh, that's um, that's.
I mean, I make a statement,right, it do it sound like I
(28:57):
might be going through something, but I'm really not, though,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I should have definitely gave you a template,
because, baby we, I don't evenknow where to go next.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I thought we was coming to an end, but I'm like I
mean, I sound like I'm goingthrough something, but I'm not.
I just this is how I bethinking sometimes.
I don't know, don't ask me.
I'm either give them grace, youknow, let's see what happens,
(29:32):
or I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
This ain't it and for my people that's spending the
block today, don't spend a block14 whoo, the last time when I
spent the block during covid,did that not blow up in my face?
Yeah, don't do that twice,don't do that, don't spend the
block with two people and theyboth exploded oof that's another
(30:02):
story for another day, anotherstory for another day something
gotta stick.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
It's two of y'all something gotta stick yeah, I
mean that's not right, somethinggonna shake.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
I mean I'm glad ain't neither one of them stick,
because, baby, I'll probably bein jail, right now.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
No, you wouldn't.
I wouldn't let you go to jail.
I wouldn't let you go to jail,nah.
You a retired, crash out, not areal one.
You a retired, we ain'tcrashing out.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I always been real now, but yes, I am a retired
crash out.
I just be crashing out aboutother stuff these days, but I
mean, that's neither here northere.
I don't think I had a crash outsession this week not this this
week no.
Look at God.
But if you're trying to getback together with your
significant other today, afteryou hear this, you can play Life
(31:09):
Jennings' let's Stay Together.
That's a good spin.
The block song.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Or just not spin the block at all.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Sometimes you got to spin the block because you
missed something the first time,song, or just not spend a block
at all.
Sometimes you got to spend ablock because you missed
something the first time, or youcould spend a block and the
same stuff going to be there.
I mean, it's just how you.
The glass could be half emptyor it could be half full.
It just depends on how you lookat it.
(31:40):
I guess, Just when I spent theblock, I had new glasses and I
was able to see more and I waslike whoa, how did we get here?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I don't know.
You should have stopped at theMexican blanket curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I should have stopped when I found he had no teeth in
his mouth.
That's what I should havestopped.
But there I was being concernedand I was like it's okay, we
can fix it.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I mean you can fix teeth.
You can fix some teeth now,that's something that's fix it.
I mean you can fix teeth, youcan.
You can fix some teeth now,that's, that's something that's
fixable.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I should have known you can't if you don't even take
fixing your teeth seriously.
So I should have known youdon't take fixing us seriously.
So yeah because, you know, Ihope he got his teeth together
since then.
I hope he find the love of histhen and I hope he find the love
of his life.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
And I hope he got some real curtains.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
That's, that's that's .
I could care less.
Every time I walk by a blanketI die.
No, no, no, no.
Remember he did get rid of them.
He had the silk curtains afterthat, the silk purple curtains
after that.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Were they curtains or were they sheets?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
No, they were curtains.
They were actual curtains,because he said that was one of
the things that he fixed,because he was like I'm going to
fix it because I wanted you tocome back.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
You thought you were going to fix this with some
curtains.
I mean, purple is your favoritecolor.
He had that in mind, but itdidn't go with nothing in his
house If he said he was tryingto get you back with curtains.
He picked the right color.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
He said you know what Purple curtains gonna get him
back, what Purple curtains isgonna do it.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
No, he tried.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
I bought a new bed room set too.
I was like, oh, where you getthat from my homeboy?
You know his daughter and it'slike why she still got stickers
on the mirror from the daughterthis supposed to get me back.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
No, he said he will leave the door open for you.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
No, he should close it, he was on his best, bruno
Mars.
I should have bought youflowers.
No, I was like you know what?
He shouldn't leave the dooropen.
Matter of fact, he should get anew door and change the locks.
Okay, because purple flower,purple curtains.
(34:30):
This is where my favorite color, purple.
She gonna come here and be likewow.
No, I was like whoa, why.
Why is the curtains purple, buta burgundy rug like?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
yeah, it was given all over the place um I just I
don't understand Sam.
Right, I was like he shouldhave broke out with that Wale
matrimony.
If it's a question of my heart,no.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
He tried the first time and I was like no Breaking
up with me two days before mybirthday, like it's a special
place in hell for you.
Yeah, but he was like, ah,purple curtains when he get back
.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
She'll forget all about it, you know.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Because where have you went in a man's room and
seen a man with a dresser, witha mirror on it?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I don't know.
I'm trying to think, sir, whatare you looking at?
What are you looking at in themirror?
I'm trying to think how many ofthem actually have dresses,
because most of them usuallyjust be throwing their stuff in
a closet listen y'all when Itell y'all I've been in some,
(36:01):
some situationships.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
I try to be nice to that man one day and hang his
laundry up.
He's like you faced him thewrong way.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I'm like, oh okay there was a lot of signs.
There was a lot of signs.
There was a lot of signs foryou to stay away such as because
I'm waiting for you to say theword.
I'm not going to say it, but Idon't know how you went back as
(36:39):
soon as everything rolled by andthe toilet started shaking.
I'd have been like, oh no, it'stime to go so his house backed
up to a train track y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
So I was just in the bathroom one day and I text Nick
.
I said I'm trying to pee andthe toilet is shaking.
Cause the toilet is shakingbecause the train is running.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I'm going to hell yeah, at that point that would
have been enough of me, thatwould have been, but it's okay.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's okay like we're in a better space.
I'm in a better space.
I'm in a better space now.
I ain't never got to deal withthat level.
My toilet is stable.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah, I got real curtains.
Yeah, I don't know how youcould sleep through that.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
I didn't, oh my God, I didn't, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Well at least that's one, the one thing that you
don't have to worry about goingback to.
So there's that there's so manynails in that coffin that don't
need to be reopened first ofall, the coffin has been buried
already.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
I go back to my baby daddy.
Before I go back to that, man.
That's saying a lot.
That says a lot, that says alot.
But hey, man, this fun episodey'all I do gotta have you back
more, but on some, maybe somemore serious next time can you
(38:22):
give me some props so I could be, you know, a little more
appropriate no, I didn't, I needyou I need a little.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I could be a little.
Yeah, I was gonna say I couldbe a little unfiltered.
Sometimes I've been trying tohold my, I mean.
But I like that though.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I like that.
I mean my unhinged episodesmake for the best episodes
because, like after this episode, the episodes that will be
coming in the next few weeks arelike real serious.
So like this is like to breakit up.
You know what I'm saying, causeyou know, like last week
anniversary episode, you know solike going forward.
So you know we gotta break itup a little bit.
(38:59):
But no, next time I'll give youa prompt.
I just needed to see where youwas gonna be at today and I'm
very surprised you were verycontained today I was quick on
you.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I was not very quick on my feet because I was really
trying to think of somethingappropriate but I couldn't, so I
just had to.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I had to just do me, you know okay, well, so I ain't
gonna hold you, but, um, thanky'all for joining in on another
episode.
Um, please remember, if youhave not already liked, shared
and subscribed, please make sureyou do that.
The gag is pod at insta, oninstagram and youtube, and if
(39:43):
you want to do any type ofcollaboration, please remember
it is the gat at.
The gag is pot at gmailcom.
Um, I feel like I'm forgettingsomething else, because I feel
like we did the song lyric ofthe week, which is typically on
the outro purse portion of it,but that was like 15 minutes ago
yeah, so song.
(40:06):
Lyric of the week internationalplayers anthem I choose you.
Um, that's best friend, nick.
I am your girl.
Charlie shantae this is a gagis five bye guys.
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