February 28, 2025 • 27 mins
A conversation around the necessity of balancing sports with rest reveals vital insights into maintaining young athletes' health. Discover effective strategies for supporting children and respecting their limits while fostering a love for athletics.
• Importance of regular rest breaks for kids involved in sports
• Impact of over-scheduling on children's wellbeing
• Dynamic of parent support versus pressure in youth sports
• Strategies for integrating recovery practices into athletic routines
• Emphasizing communication and encouragement over criticism
• Fostering a positive environment in competitive sports settings
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know.
(00:00):
So I would say you know, usediscretion and if it looks like
your kid is going through theringer or they're just wore out
or they're just exhausted orsomething like that, sit, sit
with them, have a conversationwith them and make sure
everything is OK, like, makesure that they're doing OK, like
(00:21):
they don't need a break.
Kids need breaks too.
Okay, sometimes school will bedoing the most and kids need
breaks.
That's all I'm saying.
But evaluate your circumstance.
You know what works for you,because what works for me is
probably not going to work foryou.
(00:41):
Or do your own variation for meprobably not going to work for
you.
Or do your own variation?
Do your own, um, your own pieceof how, how it is you want to.
How it is you want to do it,you know.
But just make sure, when itcomes to school and achieving
(01:03):
and stuff like that, like you'renot putting too much on the
kids, because kids kids can feelthat and kids don't need all
that.
You know it's it's just toomuch, too much pressure and you
don't want your kids balled inand there's just so much that um
, that comes with that.
So, yeah, so, moving rightalong, let's jump into sports
(01:24):
now Sports is going to be sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sports,sports, sports, sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports, sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports, sports sports sports,sports, sports, sports sports.
Get it, um, you know, and youknow, lorenzo has done swim for
(01:52):
seven years, right?
So that's from learning how toswim to being on a swim, a prep
swim team, to actually beinginto competitive swim.
Now, and I will say this as thetime has gone on, I've learned
a lot as a sports mom and beforethat he um, before he got into
(02:39):
swim, he um, he did two seasonsof, let me see, he did see, from
eight to nine he did football,he tried basketball.
So let's see 18, 19, 20, to oneto two to three to four to five
, no, so, yeah, so he's beenswimming about seven years.
(03:03):
Some of those, some of thosesports like overlap.
So you know, he's always beenan active kid.
I'm starting to learn becausein the beginning I was one of
those parents that whatever daysthey said you had practice, you
(03:24):
was finna be there.
So if they said you hadpractice six days a week and
game on the seventh.
You was finna be there allseven days.
And then I realized that, wait,kids need breaks too.
Their bodies are little, theirbodies are still developing.
Uh, they need, they need breaks.
(03:45):
And you know like their littlebodies hurt and ache too.
We think, just because they'reyoung, their bodies don't hurt,
their bodies don't ache, buttheir bodies hurt in their ache.
And so I realized that when itcomes to kids playing sports,
we're not giving enough R&R, hisplaying stores, we're not
(04:09):
giving enough R and R.
And with swim, especially whenhe got on to um competitive swim
.
There you know they swim duringthe weekend and they have
competitions on weekends, notevery weekend but most weekends.
And so I had started a thingYou're going to do practice
during the week and then you'regoing to swim on the weekends,
and then on Mondays we don't goto practice, because so there's
on Sunday and then there's apractice starts on Mondays, but
(04:30):
I don't have him go to practiceon Mondays because I give him at
least two days to rest in R&R.
Now if he's going to beswimming just a little bit in
the competitions, then you knowhe'll get one day, but if he's
going to be swimming multipledays in the competition, like a
Friday, saturday or Saturday,sunday, I give him multiple days
(04:52):
of R&R just so his body canrest, because as a swimmer their
body takes so it takes so muchto swim and I want him to be
good and I want him to be restedand I don't want him to be
fatigued.
Because we have to realize thatif we do wear and tear on these
kids' body now, you know they'restill growing and they're going
to get older and their body isgoing to hurt so bad because
(05:12):
they had so much wear and tearespecially the kids that play
the very heavy contact sportslike football, basketball,
soccer their body is going to bein shambles if you don't give
them the time of R&R.
And we also have to make surethat we're giving them the time
so that their body doesn't shutdown in them.
(05:33):
Because it's just like a caryou can just drive and drive and
drive and drive, and drive anddrive and drive it and you never
give it a rest.
Guess what?
Eventually it's going to shutdown on you and kids' bodies are
the same way.
It may take a little longerthan an adult to shut down, but
their body is eventually goingto shut down and it's going to
be very, it's not going to begood, because you don't know how
(05:58):
their body is going to shutdown.
And then, after their bodyshuts down, you don't know how
long it's going to take them torecover and when they recover,
you don't even know if they'regoing to want to get back out
there, because they're likethey're going to start equating.
I went out here and I playedthis word and my body shut down
and you know it, it just it's,it's, it's never, it's never
(06:21):
worth it.
And so on the days that Lorenzogets R&R, I'm like we're going
to stretch, we're going to dothe massage gun and I'm starting
to think about taking him toget stretched, because at one of
the competitions they had acompany that was there and they
did stretches and after they dida stretch on him, he's like, oh
(06:43):
my God, he's like this feels sogood and I'm like maybe I
should sign him up forstretching, like maybe, like
once a month.
I don't think he's at the levelyet that he needs to get
stretched like weekly oranything like that.
I think once a month for himwould be suffice, just to kind
of keep him in good workingorder.
He does, however, do, which onething that he started doing it
(07:08):
I didn't even suggest is hetakes a bath, a long soak bath
with Epsom salt, to kind ofloosen his body up, get the
soreness out, and I was like,wow, I was like that's a good
idea.
Then sometimes we'll just go tothe gym and then I just let him
sit in the hot tub.
Yeah, then sometimes we'll justgo to the gym and then I just
let him sit in the hot tub, justkind of get that, you know like
(07:37):
that little 15, 20 minutes inthe hot tub, you know, go in the
sauna, you know, stretch in thesauna, relax your muscles and
different stuff like that.
And so I do things to help himtake care of his body, and I
feel like we as parents don't doenough of that.
When we think rest andrelaxation, we think you just
need to lay down somewhere, andit's not that it's like you kind
of just like how you got to eatto keep your body together.
We got to stretch and we got todo different stuff so that we
can keep the body, keep the kidsbody together Because, like I
(07:59):
said, they're still growing andthey, their body, needs support
as well.
And during the off season, whenthere's not a lot of like during
the summer, he does have atrainer outside of swim.
So he does swim and he has atrainer just to kind of help his
body kind of bulk up.
Because you have, like, duringthe summer you're just training
(08:21):
for like junior Olympicsics andthen, like in september, we
start back the meets again.
So there's like meets 10 monthsout the year and then two
months.
You know, it's kind of go hard,like we're gonna refuel and um,
rebuild, um.
Right now he's on a little break, we a break.
We got to go tomorrow to findout, okay, so this week, this
(08:53):
week, we have to find out um howinjured he is.
He missed a big competitionover this weekend, so we're
going to have to find out howhurt he is, um, whether he has a
ACL tour, if he has a reallybad sprain or what he has going
on.
And so this may, so his springseason may be over with um.
(09:13):
I'm hoping not, um.
And if it's, because if it'sspring season is over with, that
means his junior Olympic dreamsis over and this is the first
year that he was supposed to goand I don't want that for my
baby.
Like we, we've been a cry, like, even if, if Lord forbid, is
something bad and he can't gocompete in junior Olympics,
we're probably still going to go, gonna go just to support his
(09:36):
team, um, and everything likethat.
So make sure you're giving yourkids breaks and make sure
you're doing make what I callmaintenance on their body,
whether it be massage gun, epsomsalt bath, letting them sit in
a hot tub, letting them go getstretched or something like that
, so they can keep their body up, um, and if you don't believe
(09:56):
me, you can go look at differentdocumentaries about how top
olympic athletes and people likethat, how they have to stretch
and massage and stuff like that.
You're saying, well, they'renot my child, okay, but we, we,
we pretend over here that we, weathlete, we olympians over here
.
So he, in my eyes, he anolympian, so I'm gonna do what
(10:17):
the olympians do to keep hisbody um, together, um.
My second point and thought isspeaking negatively about your
child's performance and notencouraging them.
I go to swim meets everyweekend and I hear so many times
how parents come down hard ontheir kids, for not, they'll be
(10:39):
like well, you know you missedbringing your arm up by three
seconds, or you know you didn'thold your stroke long enough or
you didn't do this or you don't,and not saying you know good
job, good job, like when, when,when Lorenzo gets done, like
cause they have the parents andthe kids separated, you know
we'll meet outside or you know,or I'll text his phone and I'll
(11:02):
be like good job, and I'll askhim how he think he did and
he'll tell me and I'll be likeokay, so how we fix that, or
we'll put that on our list ofstuff that you know we got to
focus on, you know, and but Ialways tell him he did a good
job.
You know it get hard seeingyour kid out there sometime, you
know, not performing at whatyou feel like is their best, but
(11:25):
I always encourage him and youknow and stuff like that.
And like there was one time hemessed up because he said his
goggles messed up and he waslike I couldn't see mom and he's
like that's why I missed myturn.
I'm like it's okay, so we'renot going to use those goggles
anymore and we're going to carryon.
And these are like, these arelike $30 goggles.
They was like uh, uh, it's like, um, what they call they call
(11:49):
competition goggles.
And I was like, well, you knowyou compete.
And he, peeing, he said no, mom, he said them goggles are trash
.
Okay, the goggles are trash, weain't gonna fine whatever.
But you have to keep an openline of communication with your
kids and you let them tell youyour, their expectations and not
the expectations that you setfor him.
(12:09):
He knows where he messed up andhe don't.
They kids don't need you totell you, you to tell them you
mess up on it.
No, they know where they messedup and he's like so, yeah, he
says, since my glass came off,he said I missed the wall.
I didn't get my momentum backand he said it slowed me down.
I said okay, cool.
I said well, we ain't usingthem guys, no more, let's, let's
go one thing.
Um, that it gets under my skin,oh, it gets under my skin.
(12:35):
Talking negatively about yourkid and their performance in
front of other kids and otheradults.
Oh, my God, I seen this ladytear this little girl down at a
meet one time and I was justlike.
I felt so bad and like thelittle girl was crying, like the
little girl was crying, cryingand I was just like that is so
(13:00):
terrible.
And then she's like you know ifyou wouldn't do it?
So I was thinking that you knowyou would have it.
And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is so terrible.
Like, oh, oh my God, I couldnot.
(13:23):
I just felt so bad for for thelittle girl because I was like
no pain, no child should bespoke to like that in general,
but especially in front of theirpeers.
Like you should never talk toyour kids like that, like we
have, we wait till we get in thecar and we have conversations.
But even when we hadconversations, I'm not putting
(13:43):
him down, I'm not being likewell, you should have did this.
And I'm like I package it.
Like, well, if that's how youfeel, well, let's work on.
So, like, if you want to go tothe gym, cause they the gym that
we go to.
They have an indoor pool.
So if you want to go to the gymand you want to start working
on your flip turns or you wantto work on your streamline, like
we can go, just like, let meknow we can go.
(14:06):
Or he can go in the backyard.
We have a pool.
He can go in the backyard hecan work on his flip turns or
you know, and different stufflike that.
You know, I give my child anavenue to fix what he deems he
needs to fix Not what I want himto fix, but what he feel like
he needs to fix.
You know, I give him thatopportunity.
(14:29):
You know, because it's like you.
You self-correct Each year.
We take time to reflect.
Let the kids self-reflect too.
And this one right here, thisone gets under my skin to the T,
living vicariously through yourchildren.
Okay, pushing children to playsports that you did not excel in
(14:52):
, and you see this a lot infootball and in basketball, I
don't know how many times.
And I seen this a lot whenLorenzo played football and I
just hated being around thatculture and I actually cussed
out a football coach's wife onetime because it's kind of like,
(15:16):
just because your husband acoach, ma'am, don't mean that,
you know, like you gotta shit onthe y'all, gotta shit on the
other kids just to make your kidlook good, like if your kid
good, your kid gonna be good.
Um, you know we cannot,especially dads, you know,
because dads was too busy in thestreets or have you, and you
know they are.
(15:37):
I could have made it to the nfl, you know I, because dads was
too busy in the streets or haveyou in?
You know they are.
I could have made it to the NFL, you know I could have been up
there, okay, but you didn't.
And you know y'all hype thesekids up, y'all overwork these
kids and um, and y'all overworkthese kids because y'all are
trying to live vicariouslythrough them.
Y'all are trying to live outyour dreams through them and
that's not okay because you'reputting too much pressure on
(16:00):
these kids, because these kidsare like well, if I don't do
good and I don't succeed and Idon't go to the NFL, or if I
don't go to the NBA or somethinglike that, then my parent is
going to be disappointed and youcan't live vicariously through
your kid.
Your kid is not you.
So their work ethic, theirsportsmanship and all of that is
(16:20):
going to be t totallycompletely different from what
it is.
You did what it is.
You had letting people outthere coach.
Why y'all out here cussing?
And why is y'all out herebeefing over some kids playing
football?
Like why are y'all out herefighting and carrying on and
(16:46):
like doing all of this stuffLike it's unnecessary, it's
uncalled for.
Like I want to say a few yearsago there was like an actual
shooting like one of the kidfootball games.
Like it's not that deep, it'snot that serious.
Like we are adults, we shouldbe able to control and contain
(17:09):
our anger, you know, and what itis that we do.
Like it's just unnecessary.
And I'm glad that football isnot one of the sports that he
chose to continue to play,because I I think I might have
pulled him too, because I knowthis is too much, because this
is this is way, this way toomuch.
(17:32):
It's too much for me.
I just like my anxieties.
And then, last but not least,you know we got our parent
clicks Cause you know we got toclick up with the other parents
and talk about you know and andshun them and not welcome it,
and I have I have.
(17:55):
So this, this little piece ofconversation, might make some of
y'all uncomfortable, and that'sokay.
You need to be uncomfortablebecause this is my truth.
Okay, in in the sports world,especially the world of swim,
there are not a lot of blackswimmers, not a lot of black boy
swimmers, more girl black girlswimmers and black boy swimmers.
(18:16):
I remember the first time hewent to a competition in October
.
Yeah, it was October and I wasthere and I was sitting.
I was minding my business.
You know what I'm saying,because the ladies that I'm cool
with that LJ used to swim withat the other place, like their
kids, are younger, so the olderkids typically swim in the
(18:41):
mornings and then the young kidsswim in the afternoon.
So I was just sitting therechilling, you know, minding my
business.
You know I had my little teamshirt on or whatever.
And then this lady looked at me,dead in my face, dead in my
face, and said so which kid isyours, ma'am?
(19:10):
There is only one black kid outthere and there is one black
person in the stands me.
So I just want you to dodeductive reasoning and try to
figure out if one thing is likethe other.
And she was like oh okay.
She was like is he new toswimming?
I'm like no, he's been swimmingfor five years.
Oh, he has.
Yes, he has.
Um, I like the team that he'son.
(19:33):
I just don't like some of theparents.
Like I actually got into one ofthe dads and, like the mom felt
real, real bad.
But now it's to the point where, when she see me I don't know
she be trying to speak to meI'll be like, nah, because you
sit there and let your husbandtry to come for me and you need
to say nothing.
So you know, sit over therewith that.
You know, sit over there withthat um you, because that's not
(19:54):
what we finna do.
Like y'all can have y'allparent clicks.
Like just be like it's likethey feel like this philosophy,
white is right.
Like I don't care that y'ally'all are not familiar seeing a
black person swim and I'm gladit makes you uncomfortable.
You know, like like he finna behere and you know he had only
(20:16):
been there for four months andhe got promoted to the next team
.
Like my kid finna be here andI'm sorry if you feel like my
kid is a threat to yours.
I mean, tell your kids thatthey gave up.
I mean I don't, I don't know, Idon't know what to tell you, but
what I will tell you is I don'tdo the parent click thing.
So anytime we have acompetition, I bring a book or I
(20:40):
um to read or I listen to anaudio book or something like
that.
I don't, I don't got time tosit there and um play cat and
whatever.
Whatever, I don't got that kindof time and they be like, oh,
I'm gonna follow.
I'm gonna follow Lorenzo on theapp so I can, uh, cheer for him
when he races.
I'm gonna fuck if you do, oryou don't got that kind of time.
And they'd be like, oh, I'mgoing to follow Lorenzo on the
app so I can cheer for him whenhe races.
I'm going to fuck if you do oryou don't, because guess who's
going to be cheering me rightthere.
(21:01):
So every time I go to a swimmeet, I'm going to have to start
doing it.
Every time I go to a swim meet,I always have a swim outfit, and
my swim outfit is not like theother parents.
My swim outfit does not consistof lululemons and a t-shirt.
My swim outfit consists of what?
Probably?
A pair of jeans, some type ofswim shirt and some dunks or
(21:22):
something like that, or somefresh nikes or something like
that.
I don't look like these otherwomen.
I look fresh, my hair beingbraids, you know, I'm saying or
my hair being two strand twist,or my hair being in natural
curls.
And I'd be like, oh my God, howdid you get your hair like that
?
I washed it and it came outlike this Like what did you put
(21:44):
in it?
Is this a perm on your hair?
No, it's not a perm on my hair,it's called the hair that grew
out my damn head, that's whatit's called.
But I can't stand parent clicks,especially me.
I'm a nice person and y'allheard, y'all heard best friends
say that I'm the type to getkidnapped because I'm just too
friendly with everybody.
I, I'm just a friendly person.
(22:08):
I can't help that.
It can't help that I'm afriendly person.
But parent clicks and if youlisten to this and you are in a
parent click, you are mean girlor mean dad.
Cut it out, okay, cut it out,because you're gonna have that
one humble moment in, in, in, in, where your click gonna be.
(22:30):
Don't, don't set the examplefor your kids.
And then I did notice that theirkids are, they kind of act like
mean kids too, like especiallysome of the girls, like, okay,
little girl, like don't get yourfeelings hurt because I have
lorenzo, bring his sister uphere.
Don't get your feelings hurt,but yes.
(22:52):
So to summarize and wrap it allup be mindful of the things
that you are asking andrequiring of your kids and I
don't want to hear that I don'trequire anything of them, that I
wouldn't do for myself.
Okay, but you didn't.
So you know you didn't do it.
Let these kids blaze their ownpath.
(23:14):
Like you don't want to be theparent that they talking about
when, when the sports anchorsstart interviewing your kid.
In the future, you don't wantto be what my mama didn't.
You don't want to be thatparent.
I want my kid to go and I'll belike my mama supported me.
My mama was there.
Like my mama used to get up atfour o'clock in the morning and
drive me to my competitions.
That was an hour away.
Okay, like them, like my mamadid that.
(23:35):
My mama did not pressure me.
My mama encouraged me.
That's what I want to hear mykids say.
And he gonna say that and justlike with um, with Marco Polo, I
want him to be like.
I had an audition and my mamagot on a flight after she had
worked all day and flew to NewYork City just to be there one
day for my audition.
That's what I want to hear mykids say.
(23:56):
Not, though, my mama was a meangirl and my mama didn't let me
have a social life and stufflike that.
Nah, that ain't me, that ain'tme at all.
All right, so we've come to thefavorite part of the show, the
song lyric of the week.
I don't have a, you can't makethis up, do I have it?
(24:21):
I don't have a, you can't makethis up.
I haven't had a, you can't makethis up.
For the last few times, oh my,you know what I should have used
the point.
You know what?
That's my, you can't make thisup.
We went to that one swim meetand then we went to another swim
meet and somebody asked me likedude, wholeheartedly, what he's
like?
Are you here supporting, or youhave a kid that swims?
It's one black kid and there'sone black person like, make it
(24:47):
make sense.
But I'll be like no, my kid'sright there.
And they're like, oh, my god,you know, and it just, it just
be a mess.
I just feel like okay, because,because I would be wrong if I
asked you which kid was yoursyou know I'm saying like that
just would be wrong um, but yeah, so we have our song lyric of
the week and I felt like thiswas just a good one because it
(25:08):
makes sense.
Um, and I've been a kid onceand you know, now I'm a parent,
so I felt that this song wasonly appropriate for this week.
So the song lyric of the weekis Will Smith.
Parents just don't understand.
Thank y'all for tuning in.
If you have not already.
Please go like us on socialmedia, on Instagram and Facebook
(25:30):
, at the Gag Is Pod.
It's also the same handle onYouTube as well, the Gagispod.
It's also the same handle onYouTube as well, thegagispod.
And make sure you are hittingthat little plus or little sign
in the top corner so that youcan make sure that you are
getting every new episode whenit's released.
I am your girl, charlee Chante.
This is the Gag Is Pod.
(25:51):
Bye, guys.
You know.
(00:00):
So I would say you know, usediscretion and if it looks like
your kid is going through theringer or they're just wore out
or they're just exhausted orsomething like that, sit, sit
with them, have a conversationwith them and make sure
everything is OK, like, makesure that they're doing OK, like
(00:21):
they don't need a break.
Kids need breaks too.
Okay, sometimes school will bedoing the most and kids need
breaks.
That's all I'm saying.
But evaluate your circumstance.
You know what works for you,because what works for me is
probably not going to work foryou.
(00:41):
Or do your own variation for meprobably not going to work for
you.
Or do your own variation?
Do your own, um, your own pieceof how, how it is you want to.
How it is you want to do it,you know.
But just make sure, when itcomes to school and achieving
(01:03):
and stuff like that, like you'renot putting too much on the
kids, because kids kids can feelthat and kids don't need all
that.
You know it's it's just toomuch, too much pressure and you
don't want your kids balled inand there's just so much that um
, that comes with that.
So, yeah, so, moving rightalong, let's jump into sports
(01:24):
now Sports is going to be sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sports,sports, sports, sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports, sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports sports sports sportssports sports sports sports
sports, sports sports sports,sports, sports, sports sports.
Get it, um, you know, and youknow, lorenzo has done swim for
(01:52):
seven years, right?
So that's from learning how toswim to being on a swim, a prep
swim team, to actually beinginto competitive swim.
Now, and I will say this as thetime has gone on, I've learned
a lot as a sports mom and beforethat he um, before he got into
(02:39):
swim, he um, he did two seasonsof, let me see, he did see, from
eight to nine he did football,he tried basketball.
So let's see 18, 19, 20, to oneto two to three to four to five
, no, so, yeah, so he's beenswimming about seven years.
(03:03):
Some of those, some of thosesports like overlap.
So you know, he's always beenan active kid.
I'm starting to learn becausein the beginning I was one of
those parents that whatever daysthey said you had practice, you
(03:24):
was finna be there.
So if they said you hadpractice six days a week and
game on the seventh.
You was finna be there allseven days.
And then I realized that, wait,kids need breaks too.
Their bodies are little, theirbodies are still developing.
Uh, they need, they need breaks.
(03:45):
And you know like their littlebodies hurt and ache too.
We think, just because they'reyoung, their bodies don't hurt,
their bodies don't ache, buttheir bodies hurt in their ache.
And so I realized that when itcomes to kids playing sports,
we're not giving enough R&R, hisplaying stores, we're not
(04:09):
giving enough R and R.
And with swim, especially whenhe got on to um competitive swim
.
There you know they swim duringthe weekend and they have
competitions on weekends, notevery weekend but most weekends.
And so I had started a thingYou're going to do practice
during the week and then you'regoing to swim on the weekends,
and then on Mondays we don't goto practice, because so there's
on Sunday and then there's apractice starts on Mondays, but
(04:30):
I don't have him go to practiceon Mondays because I give him at
least two days to rest in R&R.
Now if he's going to beswimming just a little bit in
the competitions, then you knowhe'll get one day, but if he's
going to be swimming multipledays in the competition, like a
Friday, saturday or Saturday,sunday, I give him multiple days
(04:52):
of R&R just so his body canrest, because as a swimmer their
body takes so it takes so muchto swim and I want him to be
good and I want him to be restedand I don't want him to be
fatigued.
Because we have to realize thatif we do wear and tear on these
kids' body now, you know they'restill growing and they're going
to get older and their body isgoing to hurt so bad because
(05:12):
they had so much wear and tearespecially the kids that play
the very heavy contact sportslike football, basketball,
soccer their body is going to bein shambles if you don't give
them the time of R&R.
And we also have to make surethat we're giving them the time
so that their body doesn't shutdown in them.
(05:33):
Because it's just like a caryou can just drive and drive and
drive and drive, and drive anddrive and drive it and you never
give it a rest.
Guess what?
Eventually it's going to shutdown on you and kids' bodies are
the same way.
It may take a little longerthan an adult to shut down, but
their body is eventually goingto shut down and it's going to
be very, it's not going to begood, because you don't know how
(05:58):
their body is going to shutdown.
And then, after their bodyshuts down, you don't know how
long it's going to take them torecover and when they recover,
you don't even know if they'regoing to want to get back out
there, because they're likethey're going to start equating.
I went out here and I playedthis word and my body shut down
and you know it, it just it's,it's, it's never, it's never
(06:21):
worth it.
And so on the days that Lorenzogets R&R, I'm like we're going
to stretch, we're going to dothe massage gun and I'm starting
to think about taking him toget stretched, because at one of
the competitions they had acompany that was there and they
did stretches and after they dida stretch on him, he's like, oh
(06:43):
my God, he's like this feels sogood and I'm like maybe I
should sign him up forstretching, like maybe, like
once a month.
I don't think he's at the levelyet that he needs to get
stretched like weekly oranything like that.
I think once a month for himwould be suffice, just to kind
of keep him in good workingorder.
He does, however, do, which onething that he started doing it
(07:08):
I didn't even suggest is hetakes a bath, a long soak bath
with Epsom salt, to kind ofloosen his body up, get the
soreness out, and I was like,wow, I was like that's a good
idea.
Then sometimes we'll just go tothe gym and then I just let him
sit in the hot tub.
Yeah, then sometimes we'll justgo to the gym and then I just
let him sit in the hot tub, justkind of get that, you know like
(07:37):
that little 15, 20 minutes inthe hot tub, you know, go in the
sauna, you know, stretch in thesauna, relax your muscles and
different stuff like that.
And so I do things to help himtake care of his body, and I
feel like we as parents don't doenough of that.
When we think rest andrelaxation, we think you just
need to lay down somewhere, andit's not that it's like you kind
of just like how you got to eatto keep your body together.
We got to stretch and we got todo different stuff so that we
can keep the body, keep the kidsbody together Because, like I
(07:59):
said, they're still growing andthey, their body, needs support
as well.
And during the off season, whenthere's not a lot of like during
the summer, he does have atrainer outside of swim.
So he does swim and he has atrainer just to kind of help his
body kind of bulk up.
Because you have, like, duringthe summer you're just training
(08:21):
for like junior Olympicsics andthen, like in september, we
start back the meets again.
So there's like meets 10 monthsout the year and then two
months.
You know, it's kind of go hard,like we're gonna refuel and um,
rebuild, um.
Right now he's on a little break, we a break.
We got to go tomorrow to findout, okay, so this week, this
(08:53):
week, we have to find out um howinjured he is.
He missed a big competitionover this weekend, so we're
going to have to find out howhurt he is, um, whether he has a
ACL tour, if he has a reallybad sprain or what he has going
on.
And so this may, so his springseason may be over with um.
(09:13):
I'm hoping not, um.
And if it's, because if it'sspring season is over with, that
means his junior Olympic dreamsis over and this is the first
year that he was supposed to goand I don't want that for my
baby.
Like we, we've been a cry, like, even if, if Lord forbid, is
something bad and he can't gocompete in junior Olympics,
we're probably still going to go, gonna go just to support his
(09:36):
team, um, and everything likethat.
So make sure you're giving yourkids breaks and make sure
you're doing make what I callmaintenance on their body,
whether it be massage gun, epsomsalt bath, letting them sit in
a hot tub, letting them go getstretched or something like that
, so they can keep their body up, um, and if you don't believe
(09:56):
me, you can go look at differentdocumentaries about how top
olympic athletes and people likethat, how they have to stretch
and massage and stuff like that.
You're saying, well, they'renot my child, okay, but we, we,
we pretend over here that we, weathlete, we olympians over here
.
So he, in my eyes, he anolympian, so I'm gonna do what
(10:17):
the olympians do to keep hisbody um, together, um.
My second point and thought isspeaking negatively about your
child's performance and notencouraging them.
I go to swim meets everyweekend and I hear so many times
how parents come down hard ontheir kids, for not, they'll be
(10:39):
like well, you know you missedbringing your arm up by three
seconds, or you know you didn'thold your stroke long enough or
you didn't do this or you don't,and not saying you know good
job, good job, like when, when,when Lorenzo gets done, like
cause they have the parents andthe kids separated, you know
we'll meet outside or you know,or I'll text his phone and I'll
(11:02):
be like good job, and I'll askhim how he think he did and
he'll tell me and I'll be likeokay, so how we fix that, or
we'll put that on our list ofstuff that you know we got to
focus on, you know, and but Ialways tell him he did a good
job.
You know it get hard seeingyour kid out there sometime, you
know, not performing at whatyou feel like is their best, but
(11:25):
I always encourage him and youknow and stuff like that.
And like there was one time hemessed up because he said his
goggles messed up and he waslike I couldn't see mom and he's
like that's why I missed myturn.
I'm like it's okay, so we'renot going to use those goggles
anymore and we're going to carryon.
And these are like, these arelike $30 goggles.
They was like uh, uh, it's like, um, what they call they call
(11:49):
competition goggles.
And I was like, well, you knowyou compete.
And he, peeing, he said no, mom, he said them goggles are trash
.
Okay, the goggles are trash, weain't gonna fine whatever.
But you have to keep an openline of communication with your
kids and you let them tell youyour, their expectations and not
the expectations that you setfor him.
(12:09):
He knows where he messed up andhe don't.
They kids don't need you totell you, you to tell them you
mess up on it.
No, they know where they messedup and he's like so, yeah, he
says, since my glass came off,he said I missed the wall.
I didn't get my momentum backand he said it slowed me down.
I said okay, cool.
I said well, we ain't usingthem guys, no more, let's, let's
go one thing.
Um, that it gets under my skin,oh, it gets under my skin.
(12:35):
Talking negatively about yourkid and their performance in
front of other kids and otheradults.
Oh, my God, I seen this ladytear this little girl down at a
meet one time and I was justlike.
I felt so bad and like thelittle girl was crying, like the
little girl was crying, cryingand I was just like that is so
(13:00):
terrible.
And then she's like you know ifyou wouldn't do it?
So I was thinking that you knowyou would have it.
And I was just like, oh my gosh, this is so terrible.
Like, oh, oh my God, I couldnot.
(13:23):
I just felt so bad for for thelittle girl because I was like
no pain, no child should bespoke to like that in general,
but especially in front of theirpeers.
Like you should never talk toyour kids like that, like we
have, we wait till we get in thecar and we have conversations.
But even when we hadconversations, I'm not putting
(13:43):
him down, I'm not being likewell, you should have did this.
And I'm like I package it.
Like, well, if that's how youfeel, well, let's work on.
So, like, if you want to go tothe gym, cause they the gym that
we go to.
They have an indoor pool.
So if you want to go to the gymand you want to start working
on your flip turns or you wantto work on your streamline, like
we can go, just like, let meknow we can go.
(14:06):
Or he can go in the backyard.
We have a pool.
He can go in the backyard hecan work on his flip turns or
you know, and different stufflike that.
You know, I give my child anavenue to fix what he deems he
needs to fix Not what I want himto fix, but what he feel like
he needs to fix.
You know, I give him thatopportunity.
(14:29):
You know, because it's like you.
You self-correct Each year.
We take time to reflect.
Let the kids self-reflect too.
And this one right here, thisone gets under my skin to the T,
living vicariously through yourchildren.
Okay, pushing children to playsports that you did not excel in
(14:52):
, and you see this a lot infootball and in basketball, I
don't know how many times.
And I seen this a lot whenLorenzo played football and I
just hated being around thatculture and I actually cussed
out a football coach's wife onetime because it's kind of like,
(15:16):
just because your husband acoach, ma'am, don't mean that,
you know, like you gotta shit onthe y'all, gotta shit on the
other kids just to make your kidlook good, like if your kid
good, your kid gonna be good.
Um, you know we cannot,especially dads, you know,
because dads was too busy in thestreets or have you, and you
know they are.
(15:37):
I could have made it to the nfl, you know I, because dads was
too busy in the streets or haveyou in?
You know they are.
I could have made it to the NFL, you know I could have been up
there, okay, but you didn't.
And you know y'all hype thesekids up, y'all overwork these
kids and um, and y'all overworkthese kids because y'all are
trying to live vicariouslythrough them.
Y'all are trying to live outyour dreams through them and
that's not okay because you'reputting too much pressure on
(16:00):
these kids, because these kidsare like well, if I don't do
good and I don't succeed and Idon't go to the NFL, or if I
don't go to the NBA or somethinglike that, then my parent is
going to be disappointed and youcan't live vicariously through
your kid.
Your kid is not you.
So their work ethic, theirsportsmanship and all of that is
(16:20):
going to be t totallycompletely different from what
it is.
You did what it is.
You had letting people outthere coach.
Why y'all out here cussing?
And why is y'all out herebeefing over some kids playing
football?
Like why are y'all out herefighting and carrying on and
(16:46):
like doing all of this stuffLike it's unnecessary, it's
uncalled for.
Like I want to say a few yearsago there was like an actual
shooting like one of the kidfootball games.
Like it's not that deep, it'snot that serious.
Like we are adults, we shouldbe able to control and contain
(17:09):
our anger, you know, and what itis that we do.
Like it's just unnecessary.
And I'm glad that football isnot one of the sports that he
chose to continue to play,because I I think I might have
pulled him too, because I knowthis is too much, because this
is this is way, this way toomuch.
(17:32):
It's too much for me.
I just like my anxieties.
And then, last but not least,you know we got our parent
clicks Cause you know we got toclick up with the other parents
and talk about you know and andshun them and not welcome it,
and I have I have.
(17:55):
So this, this little piece ofconversation, might make some of
y'all uncomfortable, and that'sokay.
You need to be uncomfortablebecause this is my truth.
Okay, in in the sports world,especially the world of swim,
there are not a lot of blackswimmers, not a lot of black boy
swimmers, more girl black girlswimmers and black boy swimmers.
(18:16):
I remember the first time hewent to a competition in October
.
Yeah, it was October and I wasthere and I was sitting.
I was minding my business.
You know what I'm saying,because the ladies that I'm cool
with that LJ used to swim withat the other place, like their
kids, are younger, so the olderkids typically swim in the
(18:41):
mornings and then the young kidsswim in the afternoon.
So I was just sitting therechilling, you know, minding my
business.
You know I had my little teamshirt on or whatever.
And then this lady looked at me,dead in my face, dead in my
face, and said so which kid isyours, ma'am?
(19:10):
There is only one black kid outthere and there is one black
person in the stands me.
So I just want you to dodeductive reasoning and try to
figure out if one thing is likethe other.
And she was like oh okay.
She was like is he new toswimming?
I'm like no, he's been swimmingfor five years.
Oh, he has.
Yes, he has.
Um, I like the team that he'son.
(19:33):
I just don't like some of theparents.
Like I actually got into one ofthe dads and, like the mom felt
real, real bad.
But now it's to the point where, when she see me I don't know
she be trying to speak to meI'll be like, nah, because you
sit there and let your husbandtry to come for me and you need
to say nothing.
So you know, sit over therewith that.
You know, sit over there withthat um you, because that's not
(19:54):
what we finna do.
Like y'all can have y'allparent clicks.
Like just be like it's likethey feel like this philosophy,
white is right.
Like I don't care that y'ally'all are not familiar seeing a
black person swim and I'm gladit makes you uncomfortable.
You know, like like he finna behere and you know he had only
(20:16):
been there for four months andhe got promoted to the next team
.
Like my kid finna be here andI'm sorry if you feel like my
kid is a threat to yours.
I mean, tell your kids thatthey gave up.
I mean I don't, I don't know, Idon't know what to tell you, but
what I will tell you is I don'tdo the parent click thing.
So anytime we have acompetition, I bring a book or I
(20:40):
um to read or I listen to anaudio book or something like
that.
I don't, I don't got time tosit there and um play cat and
whatever.
Whatever, I don't got that kindof time and they be like, oh,
I'm gonna follow.
I'm gonna follow Lorenzo on theapp so I can, uh, cheer for him
when he races.
I'm gonna fuck if you do, oryou don't got that kind of time.
And they'd be like, oh, I'mgoing to follow Lorenzo on the
app so I can cheer for him whenhe races.
I'm going to fuck if you do oryou don't, because guess who's
going to be cheering me rightthere.
(21:01):
So every time I go to a swimmeet, I'm going to have to start
doing it.
Every time I go to a swim meet,I always have a swim outfit, and
my swim outfit is not like theother parents.
My swim outfit does not consistof lululemons and a t-shirt.
My swim outfit consists of what?
Probably?
A pair of jeans, some type ofswim shirt and some dunks or
(21:22):
something like that, or somefresh nikes or something like
that.
I don't look like these otherwomen.
I look fresh, my hair beingbraids, you know, I'm saying or
my hair being two strand twist,or my hair being in natural
curls.
And I'd be like, oh my God, howdid you get your hair like that
?
I washed it and it came outlike this Like what did you put
(21:44):
in it?
Is this a perm on your hair?
No, it's not a perm on my hair,it's called the hair that grew
out my damn head, that's whatit's called.
But I can't stand parent clicks,especially me.
I'm a nice person and y'allheard, y'all heard best friends
say that I'm the type to getkidnapped because I'm just too
friendly with everybody.
I, I'm just a friendly person.
(22:08):
I can't help that.
It can't help that I'm afriendly person.
But parent clicks and if youlisten to this and you are in a
parent click, you are mean girlor mean dad.
Cut it out, okay, cut it out,because you're gonna have that
one humble moment in, in, in, in, where your click gonna be.
(22:30):
Don't, don't set the examplefor your kids.
And then I did notice that theirkids are, they kind of act like
mean kids too, like especiallysome of the girls, like, okay,
little girl, like don't get yourfeelings hurt because I have
lorenzo, bring his sister uphere.
Don't get your feelings hurt,but yes.
(22:52):
So to summarize and wrap it allup be mindful of the things
that you are asking andrequiring of your kids and I
don't want to hear that I don'trequire anything of them, that I
wouldn't do for myself.
Okay, but you didn't.
So you know you didn't do it.
Let these kids blaze their ownpath.
(23:14):
Like you don't want to be theparent that they talking about
when, when the sports anchorsstart interviewing your kid.
In the future, you don't wantto be what my mama didn't.
You don't want to be thatparent.
I want my kid to go and I'll belike my mama supported me.
My mama was there.
Like my mama used to get up atfour o'clock in the morning and
drive me to my competitions.
That was an hour away.
Okay, like them, like my mamadid that.
(23:35):
My mama did not pressure me.
My mama encouraged me.
That's what I want to hear mykids say.
And he gonna say that and justlike with um, with Marco Polo, I
want him to be like.
I had an audition and my mamagot on a flight after she had
worked all day and flew to NewYork City just to be there one
day for my audition.
That's what I want to hear mykids say.
(23:56):
Not, though, my mama was a meangirl and my mama didn't let me
have a social life and stufflike that.
Nah, that ain't me, that ain'tme at all.
All right, so we've come to thefavorite part of the show, the
song lyric of the week.
I don't have a, you can't makethis up, do I have it?
(24:21):
I don't have a, you can't makethis up.
I haven't had a, you can't makethis up.
For the last few times, oh my,you know what I should have used
the point.
You know what?
That's my, you can't make thisup.
We went to that one swim meetand then we went to another swim
meet and somebody asked me likedude, wholeheartedly, what he's
like?
Are you here supporting, or youhave a kid that swims?
It's one black kid and there'sone black person like, make it
(24:47):
make sense.
But I'll be like no, my kid'sright there.
And they're like, oh, my god,you know, and it just, it just
be a mess.
I just feel like okay, because,because I would be wrong if I
asked you which kid was yoursyou know I'm saying like that
just would be wrong um, but yeah, so we have our song lyric of
the week and I felt like thiswas just a good one because it
(25:08):
makes sense.
Um, and I've been a kid onceand you know, now I'm a parent,
so I felt that this song wasonly appropriate for this week.
So the song lyric of the weekis Will Smith.
Parents just don't understand.
Thank y'all for tuning in.
If you have not already.
Please go like us on socialmedia, on Instagram and Facebook
(25:30):
, at the Gag Is Pod.
It's also the same handle onYouTube as well, the Gagispod.
It's also the same handle onYouTube as well, thegagispod.
And make sure you are hittingthat little plus or little sign
in the top corner so that youcan make sure that you are
getting every new episode whenit's released.
I am your girl, charlee Chante.
This is the Gag Is Pod.
(25:51):
Bye, guys.
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