June 13, 2025 • 30 mins
Breaking life into manageable pieces can make restructuring your life more achievable, just like eating a pizza is easier when it's sliced rather than trying to consume it whole. Using a "four quarters" approach helps identify goals, gather resources, develop self-determination, and create a sustainable game plan.
• Identifying what you want to accomplish in both personal and professional aspects of life
• Building a supportive network of people who offer rational perspective and genuine help
• Changing negative thought patterns through daily affirmations and inspirational content
• Creating sustainable plans to maintain progress after reaching goals
• Recognizing personal warning signs when getting off track
• Practicing guilt-free self-care including adequate sleep and setting boundaries
• Understanding that thoughts become reality—what we believe manifests in our lives
• Letting go of yesterday to focus on what can be changed today
Make sure you're following the podcast on your favorite platforms and hitting that notification button so you'll be the first to know when new episodes drop. For collaborations, find us on Instagram at TheGagIsPod or email thegagispod@gmail.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gag is Hot.
I am your girl, charlie Shante.
Thank you for joining me onanother episode and, like I
always say, if you're listeningto this episode and it's a new
episode, it must be Friday, butjust in case you are listening
to this on another day of theweek, thank you for doing that
(00:21):
too, I appreciate it.
Thank you for doing that too.
I appreciate it.
And before we go on, make sureyou are liking, commenting and
subscribing.
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(00:43):
wherever, go in the right handcorner and hit that little
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Go in the right hand corner andhit that little notification
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That way, when a new episode isreleased, you'll be the first
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It's going to already be therefor you, and all you got to do
is listen to it, because Irelease at 5 am, so when you
wake up in the morning, it'salready there.
So on your way to work, all yougot to do is just be like bloop
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(01:16):
Make sure you follow us on IGas well, at TheGagIsPod, and on
YouTube as well as atTheGagIsPod.
Let's go ahead and jump rightinto it.
I got a good one for y'all.
Today, we're going to take abreak from talking about that
summer shenanigans and them kids.
Y'all, today, we're going totake a break from talking about
that summer shenanigans and themkids.
Let's talk about a little bitof self-awareness,
self-preservation, a littleself-care for us.
So go ahead and grab your drink, grab your snack, grab whatever
(01:37):
it is you grab when you listento this.
Now let's go ahead and jumpinto this episode.
All right, so in my roughdrafts of this, I call today's
episode uh, treat life like fourquarters.
Right now I don't know ifthat's going to be the episode,
the title of the episode, but Ifeel like that.
That's just like a good namefor it, because I feel like when
(02:02):
you are trying to restructureyour life, sometimes you have to
break it down, because it'seasier to eat a pizza when it's
in slices versus trying to eatit whole, right.
So I feel like life is the sameway, especially when you're
trying to restructure, whenyou're trying to get a grasp on
things.
It's like, instead of tacklingeverything at one time, trying
(02:24):
to get a grasp on things, it'slike, instead of tackling
everything at one time, let'sjust divide this up, see what's
the most important and then seehow we can, kind of like, do it
from there.
I know this microphone ain't,finna, give me the blues today.
Oops, I forgot to tighten it.
That's why it's giving me theblues.
But you gotta, um, you gottabreak it up a little bit Now.
This microphone ain't going toget me in trouble today.
(02:45):
Please, microphone, not today,not today, Not snow of the day,
but not today.
But whatever, we're going toroll with it because I'll just
go in and I'll just edit thevolume, we'll just go from there
.
But y'all know how I do it Idon't stop for no bloopers.
I don't stop for no bloopers, Idon't stop for no bloopers.
(03:11):
So y'all, finna, get the real,real.
So I got my notes today.
It's no freestyle.
So the notes is right here.
So I started off by saying apizza is easier to eat in
smaller slices than all at onetime, which I just said.
So the first thing is what doyou want to accomplish?
Like, what do you want to do?
Do you want to now?
This can apply to any area ofyour life.
(03:31):
It doesn't have to just applyto your personal life.
It doesn't just have to applyto your professional life or you
know whatever aspect.
However, you know, if you wantit in your personal life a
little bit, you want it in yourprofessional life a little bit,
you want in your professionallife a little bit wherever you
want it Like.
These are just like my rules ofengagement for how I break
(03:52):
stuff down, and you know there'sthings I want to do in my
personal life and things I wantto do in my professional life.
So I've got to start.
I said I got to start breakingit down, and I always preach
about going back to the basics.
But what's going back to thebasics if you don't even
remember what the basics are?
So what do you want toaccomplish?
(04:12):
I know we're already in June, sothere's literally only six
months left in the year, and oneof my big things that I want to
accomplish is losing weight andgetting back into shape.
And I might look at me likedamn girl, you in shape, you
look good.
Okay, yeah, granted, I do lookgood, but I feel like I can look
better.
And you might say well, youknow that's an endless cycle,
(04:34):
whatever, whatever I just feellike for me, I just need to lose
a little bit more weight,because I've never been this big
.
I've always been a slimmer,petite type of woman.
And you know, for my birthdaythis year, you know, I got a
couple of outfits that I want toget into and you know, it
doesn't require me to drop helladrastic weight, maybe 20 pounds
(04:56):
at best.
Like the dress fits, but I wantit to look a certain way.
So I figured 20 pounds would begood, you know, or maybe 10,
and then just tone it up alittle bit.
You know, just minor littleadjustments.
And then you know I also wantto step up in my professional
(05:19):
life.
You know, at work, you know Iwant to kind of climb the ladder
a little bit, you know, becauseI have those credentials and I
have those abilities.
And then, you know, I just don'twant to start feeling like I'm
stuck.
And you know I'm in thisendless cycle and you know I'm
not putting forth my fullpotential.
And also in my content creation, because when I look back in my
(05:40):
phone I have so much contentfrom, like, the past five years
that I could have been puttingtogether and putting out, but I
had that.
You know that.
What, if you know, what arepeople going to think?
Type of attitude, when thewhole time I should have just
been worried about what I'mthinking and not worried about
what everybody else has to sayor think, or, you know, do,
(06:05):
because at the end of the day,this is me, my hobby and how I
feel, and it's not for anybodyelse.
And so you, you do this stuffand then you have to think what
do you need to get thisaccomplished?
And I say the biggest thing thatsomebody has to have to, you
know, kind of set their lifeback up, even though it's their
(06:27):
life.
You have to have a very goodsupport system.
I'm not talking about, you know, somebody that's just going to
always entertain you beingnegative or you crashing out or
something like that.
I'm talking about somebodywho's going to sit down with you
and be like, how can I bestsupport you?
You know that person that whenyou they ain't got it to give,
they still give to you.
(06:48):
I have about three people likethat that.
You know, if I need to talk orI need some rationale, they're
going to be the ones that I goto.
Because do we laugh?
Do we, kiki?
Do we make jokes?
Absolutely all day, every day.
But at the end of the day, Iknow that they're my voice of
(07:11):
reason.
I can text them right now andtell them xyz, and I can be like
man, I just don't get it.
Something's wrong.
I done dropped my phone, y'allsomething's wrong and they're
gonna ask me.
They're gonna're going to belike who did it?
Who do I need to go ride on,and it's kind of like no, it's
(07:31):
not like that.
You know, it's not like that.
Just, you know.
Just I, just I ain't feeling.
I ain't feeling good about liferight now.
You know things just ain'tgoing the way that I think that
they should go, and I just needsomebody to be a listening ear
and a voice of rationale.
(07:54):
I also think, in order to besuccessful with this, you need a
lot of self-determination,changing your thought process.
Now we sit here and say all thetime, you know, your life
becomes your words, and what Imean by that is the words that
you think in, the words that youstart believing, tend to end up
(08:20):
becoming your life Like it'slike you manifesting and you
manifesting what it is.
And a lot of times we, you knowwe have negative thoughts and
you know we're like.
You know I don't deserve thisand you know I'm not good enough
for this.
And we start doubting ourselves.
This, and you know I'm not goodenough for this.
(08:42):
And we start doubting ourselves.
And is it that we doubtourselves because of what people
have told us?
Or like why are we doubtingourselves?
Why do we feel like we're notgood enough?
Why do we feel like we're notentitled to this?
You know, why do we feel likewe ain't good enough?
So you got to start with you inorder to change things.
(09:04):
You can't let other people yeah, your support system is there,
they're good for you, they canhelp you along the way, but if
you don't believe in you, howcan others believe in you?
Right, it just doesn't worklike that, and other people
can't want better for you if youdon't want better for you.
So one thing I started doing it.
(09:25):
I find these littleinspirational quotes and on my
calendar at work, I write themdown, you know, so that I can
just look at them.
And I always write them down amonth in advance, and I just
write them on random days and Ijust look down at you know, like
that day, and I'm like, wow,that really makes sense.
That really hits hard.
That really hits hard right now.
(09:48):
But you know, like I reallyneeded that, like yesterday I
looked at my calendar and whatit said on there is I can sum up
life in three words it goes on.
And that's true, it goes on.
And then one from last week thatI had was um, how did it go?
Um, don't let today, don't letyesterday take up too much of
(10:13):
today.
And it's like man, becauseyesterday already happened and
you can't change it.
So why are we bringing thatinto today?
And I've had to realize thatyou can't change what happened
yesterday, you can't change whathappened the day before, you
definitely can't change whathappened last week or things
(10:34):
that have happened months oreven years ago.
So we can only, you know, wecan only take care of what has
happened today.
You know, because what they sayat the end of the day, the day
got to end, and when that dayends, whatever you're going
through that day, it may lingeron because it may not be a quick
(10:56):
fix, but your thought processabout the situation has to
change.
You cannot take that situation,that situation can't get better
if you keep going day after dayafter day after day and you
keep thinking negative about it.
It's like, how is the situationgoing to change if you just
(11:17):
keep thinking negative about it?
So I was dealing with asituation just a few days ago
and it's not even my situationto deal with, but it was brought
to me and I spoke to the personand I was like look, this is
what it is, this is what itain't.
I'm just coming to you andtelling you because I love you
(11:38):
and I'm here for you, but I'mnot going to speak on it, no
more after this.
Like, I'm telling you how it is, I'm putting it all out there
on front street and if you, youcan either accept it or you
can't.
Like I don't really care if youdo or you don't, because in the
long run, I'm not being, I'mbeing affected, but I'm not
being affected to the degreethat it's affecting you.
So I'm just here trying to lendmy support, trying to lend my
(12:01):
shoulder and trying to lend mylove.
If you don't want to listen, Ican't make you listen.
I can't, I can't make you wantto do better and I left it at
that and I can tell I'm growingbecause the old me would have
been trying to badger and likewell, why don't you listen.
And you know, a couple of yearsago I had to learn like you,
(12:22):
listen, to understand, not torespond.
So you have to have thosepositive thoughts in your head
before you can start saying,okay, this has got to get better
, whatever.
Whatever.
Like it start with you, itstart with you and then you take
(12:46):
it to your support system forkind of like a back, like they,
your backup dancers.
You know, you, you, you can be,you can be the front singer in
the group, they the backupsingers.
You know what I'm saying.
That's just how it has to go.
And so I go on YouTube every dayand I find little clips, little
(13:07):
church clips, and I listen tothem.
Just random one, whatever's inmy suggested, I go and I listen
to them.
And you know that's how I kindof get my day started.
You know, I say my, I wake up,I say my prayers before I even
get out of bed, before I evenput my feet on the ground, and
then I listened to my, to themessage, and then I sent it to
(13:30):
Nikki and then I go about my day.
And you know, I in order.
Order, for this is how Ioperate.
You know, sometimes I need alittle.
I need a little motivation.
Sometimes, you know, I don'talways have it, and this is the
(13:50):
way that I sometimes get, youknow, my motivation and it helps
me to think positive and, youknow, help me kind of get my day
started and move things along.
What I also realize, which I'mcalling the third quarter, is
(14:13):
you got to create a game planthat's going to last, because we
can sit here and say, ok, say,for instance, you have a credit
card and you have a balance onit and you're like, all right, I
have this plan to pay off thiscredit card, right, and once I
pay it off, I'm going to behappy.
Okay, that's fine and well.
(14:36):
But what are you going to do tokeep that balance from getting
back high again and getting outof control?
Because you always come up witha game plan to get to where you
want to be.
But what is the game plan?
To stay where you are, to staygrounded.
To stay where you are, to staygrounded, to stay humble, to
(14:59):
keep you in a state ofpositivity, to keep you in a
state of well-being and notwandering off to where you were.
Because what tends to happen isyou get grounded and you start
wandering.
And you start wandering and youwander farther than you were.
So say, if you had that creditcard and you had like a twenty
(15:21):
five hundred dollar balance onit and you paid it off and
you're like, all right, cool,it's paid off, I got it.
And then you start doing thesame thing over and over and
over.
The next thing, you know youhave five thousand dollars
balance and you're like well,how did I get here?
And then you come up with aplan and then you get it back
down to zero and then it goesback up again.
(15:42):
So we have to figure out, oncewe get to that spot where we're
good and we're comfortable, howdo we stay in that spot, what do
we need to do?
And in each time you're goingto learn something different
about yourself.
But how many times do you haveto wander off before you're like
I can't keep wandering off likethis?
(16:07):
How many times do you have togo out here and get saved before
you realize, oh, this ain'tworking, I can't do this anymore
.
I'm going to have to figure outa way that, once I get back on
solid ground, I'm going to stayon solid ground, because I can't
keep wandering off like thatand have to, you know, get, you
know, have to rescue and getsafe.
I gotta, I gotta, stay backhere, because doing the work
(16:28):
without having a plan, what isnothing?
Because it's like oh, okay, Igot here.
Okay, how do I stay here?
I'll just go day by day.
That's not a game plan.
I'll just take it day by day.
It's not a surefire game plan.
(16:50):
Me and Nikki have a flow chartthat when the day is going bad,
she'll be like you look at yourchart today and I'll be like no.
And then you know it's like didyou do this, yes or no?
Yes, ok, we'll do this.
No, ok, we go OK.
So this might be the problemright here.
And then we have a solution forwhichever way you go in the
(17:13):
matrix.
You know, that's, that's justhow it goes.
So having a game plan, you know, is what works best.
And for me, when I get to whereI want to be, I'm like OK.
So this is how I got here.
What do I need to stop doing orstart doing so that I may end up
(17:35):
back where I was?
So that I'm going to end upback where I was, so like with
the credit card.
So, for the example of thecredit card.
If I know that I was just outhere swiping like tip drill and
just swiping and buying and Ireally didn't need, I need to
stop buying, I need to stop justswiping it.
(18:02):
I need to be more mindful ofwhat it is that I'm doing, so
that I don't end up back overthere so I could be like OK,
well, I only use said creditcard when I go X, y, z.
I'm not going to take thatcredit card with me everywhere I
go, because that's how you getin trouble.
So I only take it out the housewhen I'm going X, y, z.
It's not going to go everywhere, because if it go everywhere,
I'm more likely to use it.
(18:23):
You know, makes sense.
Good analogy how do you knowwhen you're getting off track?
So how?
How do you know?
Like, what is it?
What would?
What are your indicators?
I know when I start getting offtrack, I get irritable and all
(18:49):
I want to do is sleep and y'allmight be like, oh, that sounds
like depression.
Okay, might be, but that's howI know I'm getting off track.
And when I feel that coming on,I'm like, nope, we're not going
back to that place Because,think about it.
Why do you want to go to aplace or be in a place where you
absolutely feel crappy?
(19:09):
You don't feel good and itdon't feel good to be there.
So if that's how it is, thenwhy do we keep wanting to go
there?
And I know for a fact that allthe crappy places I've been, I
don't want to go back there.
I don't want to go back therelike it wasn't a good time, it
(19:30):
wasn't a good feel.
I don't want to go back there.
So I make sure that you know Ido what I need to do and I keep
myself aligned, so I don't goback there.
You got to make sure that youknow the signs.
You know, or if you have peopleclose to you, they'd be like.
You know you don't seem likeyourself lately.
(19:52):
You know like what's going on.
You got to have people aroundyou that's going to do a
temperature check on you,because it's just like when a
child is sick.
You know like you look okay,but like are you?
You know like everything good.
You got to have somebody tocheck your temperature Because,
although you may feel good, youmay have a fever.
(20:14):
You know what I'm saying.
You may be walking around.
It's like a baby, they walkingaround, playing, but they got a
hundred and three fever.
But they kicking and cockingand you're like, well, you know,
like like you got to havesomebody on your team that's
going to check your temperatureand if your temperature is too
high you got to find thatmedicine to bring it back down.
(20:39):
Because you can't stayoperating at a high level like
that.
You can't live your life.
A child, or anybody for thatmatter, can't continue on with
103 fever for a month.
That's not cool, body gonnastart shutting down.
It's the same thing with people.
You can't operate at this real,real high go, go, go frequency
(21:01):
for a long time becauseeventually your body gonna start
shutting down Because the bodyis not meant to operate on go,
go, go all the time.
So you got to definitely havepeople around you that's gonna
check your temperature and helpyou bring that temperature down
if it starts to get up too high.
And I love my crew for that.
(21:22):
Like they call they check, theytake, they check my temperature
.
They be like I was good with itand I be like you might be
right.
You might be right becausesometimes they know you better
than you know.
You be right.
You might be right, becausesometimes they know you better
than you know you.
So you got to make sure yoursupport system, they're able to
check your temperature to getyou back and to you know, get
(21:45):
you back on solid ground, andyou know that's just what it is.
So that's my little spiel fortoday.
That's my little.
You know, like my, just what itis.
So that's my little spiel fortoday.
That's my little.
You know, like my little fourquarters, like how I get myself
back in.
You know we got to make surethat we're practicing self-care
because there are too many, toomany things going on out here,
(22:08):
too many illnesses that arecreeping up blood pressure,
strokes, heart attacks too manythings popping up out here that
are preventable if we onlypractice self-care more.
You should never feel guiltyabout self-care Not never at all
, because at any given momentI'm going to go make me a
appointment to get me a massage,I'm going to get my nails done,
(22:28):
I'm going to get me a facial orsomething.
Self-care.
Sometimes I just come home andwatch Netflix.
I know, like a couple weekendsago I laid in the bed all day
and just watched TV.
To me that was a form ofself-care.
I didn't want to do anything.
I got up, I ate, I took ashower and just laid in a bed
(22:50):
and watched TV, because that iswhat was comfortable for me,
that was my self-care, like letme just lay here, let me rest.
One thing I also started doingis I also sleeping with my watch
on.
And so I noticed that I wasn'tgetting sleep and I was like you
know what this has got tochange, because if I'm not
(23:10):
getting sleep, then I'm notbeing the best version of me.
If I'm not getting sleep, thenI'm not being the best version
of me.
And over the past three weeks,like my watch said that like I
sleep an average of eight hoursand 15 minutes a night, like I
am getting a good night rest,but before it said my average
sleep was three hours and like45 minutes a night, and I'm like
(23:32):
can't nobody function off ofthat?
And it was.
I go to the chart and it wouldshow me my patterns and you know
it'd give you a littleinformation.
Like hey, like this is nothealthy.
You know, um, lack of sleep isnot good for your brain, it's
not good for your heart, youknow it could set you up for,
you know, diabetes and you know,like different stuff, like that
(23:55):
.
So I made sure I startedgetting my sleep, whether that
mean I got to shut it down alittle bit earlier so that I
could get all those hours ofsleep.
You know whether I had to, youknow, end my shows earlier.
You know, put my phone downearlier.
I do it so that I could be thebest version of myself and I
(24:20):
also, when I get off of work, Istart putting my phone on do not
disturb, because that'sdistractions.
Those distractions can keep youfrom being the best version of
you.
It's outside noise, so you gotto start blocking out the noise
and I feel like the do notdisturb function has to be the
best thing that I've ever had.
It shuts off the text, thecalls, social medias, everything
, and I am like great.
I come home, eat dinner, take ashower, relax and watch a
(24:41):
couple of shows and then go tobed.
But I'm comfortable in that.
That's my self-care and I lovethat for me.
I just love that for me and Ilove that for y'all too.
So I want y'all to practice alittle bit more self-care.
You know what I'm saying andyou know, so that you know
(25:04):
self-care is good for youbecause it helps with your
immune system, because the moreyou stressed out and fatigued
and stuff like that, the more itsuppresses your immune system
and the sicker you get.
And it's going to be summertime.
Who got time to be in the house?
Because they sick?
Okay, not her, not she.
I got streets to be in Notreally in the streets, because
(25:33):
it's weird out there.
Maybe I meant my sheets and notthe streets.
You know, heavy emphasis on mysheets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're goingsomewhere else, but that's,
that's my four quarters ofself-care.
Now, let's go with this.
(25:54):
You can't make this up Right.
So there I was, in you know newfaces.
He's supposed to be my, he'ssupposed to be my reminder
sometimes.
And I said, hey, lj, remind meon the way home, stop and get
some gas.
I said because gas light is on,so remind me, stop and get some
gas.
I said because the gas light ison, so remind me to stop and
(26:15):
get some gas.
He's like okay, mom.
So I just happened to begetting ready to turn said
corner to go to our home andthis thing is bothering me To
our home.
And I was getting ready to getin the turn lane and the car
(26:36):
started slowing down.
I was like what in the world?
And I looked down and guesswhat?
Y'all?
I had no gas, like all the like.
When I put this video up, I'llinsert the picture I had no gas,
your girl was out of gas and Iwas like okay, but luckily there
was no traffic and I was ableto pull over into the gas
station and get some gas.
So kids gonna fail you everytime.
(26:57):
But he's like well, I didn'tremember mom.
I said well, I told you becauseI knew I was gonna forget.
So how we both forget.
I was like it was finna, be ahot ass.
Walk home, bro, because you yousupposed to remind me.
Now you remind me when I oweyou money so that you can buy
them video games.
But you couldn't remind me thatI need to stop to get gas, like
(27:20):
where your priorities at, bro,where your priorities at.
And then we get to the gasstation, he's like can I get a
donut, bro?
You couldn't even remember totell me to stop and get gas, but
you knew you wanted somethingfrom the store.
Kids going to fail you everytime, every single time, I was
(27:42):
like go on over there and getyour little donut.
Hurry up, though, because I'malmost done paying, hurry up.
And last but not least, lastweek well, not last week, but
two weeks ago, because last weekyour girl was sick.
So I get really bad migrainesand the migraine had me down up
under the sheets.
I was in a bad spot.
But last but not least, acouple weeks ago I forgot the
(28:09):
song lyric of the week.
Nikki said you know what?
You forgot the song lyric ofthe week.
And I was like I know I forgotsomething, so they're just
seeing short.
So my song lyric of the weekfor this week is Friday and Meek
Mill.
Proud of me, and as always,I've said it a million times
Make sure when you listen to theepisodes you're not just
(28:29):
listening but you aredownloading.
Make sure you are following us.
Make sure you're hitting themnotifications so that when a new
episode is released you'll bethe first one to get it.
You just ride on the work andlisten to it.
I will say dropping them kidsoff school, but it's summertime
and ain't no school.
Um, make sure you follow us onig.
If you want to do anycollaborations, you can go on
(28:51):
the IG page.
The email is there.
It's also thegagispod atgmailcom.
And yeah, we about this thing?
I am your girl, charlie Shante.
This is the Gag.
Is Pod, bye, guys.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gag is Hot.
I am your girl, charlie Shante.
Thank you for joining me onanother episode and, like I
always say, if you're listeningto this episode and it's a new
episode, it must be Friday, butjust in case you are listening
to this on another day of theweek, thank you for doing that
(00:21):
too, I appreciate it.
Thank you for doing that too.
I appreciate it.
And before we go on, make sureyou are liking, commenting and
subscribing.
Make sure that, wherever youare listening to this at, you
are following me.
So on your favorite favoritepodcasting app, apple Spotify,
(00:43):
wherever, go in the right handcorner and hit that little
notification thing Spotifywherever.
Go in the right hand corner andhit that little notification
thing.
That way, when a new episode isreleased, you'll be the first
to know, because guess what?
It's going to already be therefor you, and all you got to do
is listen to it, because Irelease at 5 am, so when you
wake up in the morning, it'salready there.
So on your way to work, all yougot to do is just be like bloop
, bloop and listen.
(01:16):
Make sure you follow us on IGas well, at TheGagIsPod, and on
YouTube as well as atTheGagIsPod.
Let's go ahead and jump rightinto it.
I got a good one for y'all.
Today, we're going to take abreak from talking about that
summer shenanigans and them kids.
Y'all, today, we're going totake a break from talking about
that summer shenanigans and themkids.
Let's talk about a little bitof self-awareness,
self-preservation, a littleself-care for us.
So go ahead and grab your drink, grab your snack, grab whatever
(01:37):
it is you grab when you listento this.
Now let's go ahead and jumpinto this episode.
All right, so in my roughdrafts of this, I call today's
episode uh, treat life like fourquarters.
Right now I don't know ifthat's going to be the episode,
the title of the episode, but Ifeel like that.
That's just like a good namefor it, because I feel like when
(02:02):
you are trying to restructureyour life, sometimes you have to
break it down, because it'seasier to eat a pizza when it's
in slices versus trying to eatit whole, right.
So I feel like life is the sameway, especially when you're
trying to restructure, whenyou're trying to get a grasp on
things.
It's like, instead of tacklingeverything at one time, trying
(02:24):
to get a grasp on things, it'slike, instead of tackling
everything at one time, let'sjust divide this up, see what's
the most important and then seehow we can, kind of like, do it
from there.
I know this microphone ain't,finna, give me the blues today.
Oops, I forgot to tighten it.
That's why it's giving me theblues.
But you gotta, um, you gottabreak it up a little bit Now.
This microphone ain't going toget me in trouble today.
(02:45):
Please, microphone, not today,not today, Not snow of the day,
but not today.
But whatever, we're going toroll with it because I'll just
go in and I'll just edit thevolume, we'll just go from there
.
But y'all know how I do it Idon't stop for no bloopers.
I don't stop for no bloopers, Idon't stop for no bloopers.
(03:11):
So y'all, finna, get the real,real.
So I got my notes today.
It's no freestyle.
So the notes is right here.
So I started off by saying apizza is easier to eat in
smaller slices than all at onetime, which I just said.
So the first thing is what doyou want to accomplish?
Like, what do you want to do?
Do you want to now?
This can apply to any area ofyour life.
(03:31):
It doesn't have to just applyto your personal life.
It doesn't just have to applyto your professional life or you
know whatever aspect.
However, you know, if you wantit in your personal life a
little bit, you want it in yourprofessional life a little bit,
you want in your professionallife a little bit wherever you
want it Like.
These are just like my rules ofengagement for how I break
(03:52):
stuff down, and you know there'sthings I want to do in my
personal life and things I wantto do in my professional life.
So I've got to start.
I said I got to start breakingit down, and I always preach
about going back to the basics.
But what's going back to thebasics if you don't even
remember what the basics are?
So what do you want toaccomplish?
(04:12):
I know we're already in June, sothere's literally only six
months left in the year, and oneof my big things that I want to
accomplish is losing weight andgetting back into shape.
And I might look at me likedamn girl, you in shape, you
look good.
Okay, yeah, granted, I do lookgood, but I feel like I can look
better.
And you might say well, youknow that's an endless cycle,
(04:34):
whatever, whatever I just feellike for me, I just need to lose
a little bit more weight,because I've never been this big
.
I've always been a slimmer,petite type of woman.
And you know, for my birthdaythis year, you know, I got a
couple of outfits that I want toget into and you know, it
doesn't require me to drop helladrastic weight, maybe 20 pounds
(04:56):
at best.
Like the dress fits, but I wantit to look a certain way.
So I figured 20 pounds would begood, you know, or maybe 10,
and then just tone it up alittle bit.
You know, just minor littleadjustments.
And then you know I also wantto step up in my professional
(05:19):
life.
You know, at work, you know Iwant to kind of climb the ladder
a little bit, you know, becauseI have those credentials and I
have those abilities.
And then, you know, I just don'twant to start feeling like I'm
stuck.
And you know I'm in thisendless cycle and you know I'm
not putting forth my fullpotential.
And also in my content creation, because when I look back in my
(05:40):
phone I have so much contentfrom, like, the past five years
that I could have been puttingtogether and putting out, but I
had that.
You know that.
What, if you know, what arepeople going to think?
Type of attitude, when thewhole time I should have just
been worried about what I'mthinking and not worried about
what everybody else has to sayor think, or, you know, do,
(06:05):
because at the end of the day,this is me, my hobby and how I
feel, and it's not for anybodyelse.
And so you, you do this stuffand then you have to think what
do you need to get thisaccomplished?
And I say the biggest thing thatsomebody has to have to, you
know, kind of set their lifeback up, even though it's their
(06:27):
life.
You have to have a very goodsupport system.
I'm not talking about, you know, somebody that's just going to
always entertain you beingnegative or you crashing out or
something like that.
I'm talking about somebodywho's going to sit down with you
and be like, how can I bestsupport you?
You know that person that whenyou they ain't got it to give,
they still give to you.
(06:48):
I have about three people likethat that.
You know, if I need to talk orI need some rationale, they're
going to be the ones that I goto.
Because do we laugh?
Do we, kiki?
Do we make jokes?
Absolutely all day, every day.
But at the end of the day, Iknow that they're my voice of
(07:11):
reason.
I can text them right now andtell them xyz, and I can be like
man, I just don't get it.
Something's wrong.
I done dropped my phone, y'allsomething's wrong and they're
gonna ask me.
They're gonna're going to belike who did it?
Who do I need to go ride on,and it's kind of like no, it's
(07:31):
not like that.
You know, it's not like that.
Just, you know.
Just I, just I ain't feeling.
I ain't feeling good about liferight now.
You know things just ain'tgoing the way that I think that
they should go, and I just needsomebody to be a listening ear
and a voice of rationale.
(07:54):
I also think, in order to besuccessful with this, you need a
lot of self-determination,changing your thought process.
Now we sit here and say all thetime, you know, your life
becomes your words, and what Imean by that is the words that
you think in, the words that youstart believing, tend to end up
(08:20):
becoming your life Like it'slike you manifesting and you
manifesting what it is.
And a lot of times we, you knowwe have negative thoughts and
you know we're like.
You know I don't deserve thisand you know I'm not good enough
for this.
And we start doubting ourselves.
This, and you know I'm not goodenough for this.
(08:42):
And we start doubting ourselves.
And is it that we doubtourselves because of what people
have told us?
Or like why are we doubtingourselves?
Why do we feel like we're notgood enough?
Why do we feel like we're notentitled to this?
You know, why do we feel likewe ain't good enough?
So you got to start with you inorder to change things.
(09:04):
You can't let other people yeah, your support system is there,
they're good for you, they canhelp you along the way, but if
you don't believe in you, howcan others believe in you?
Right, it just doesn't worklike that, and other people
can't want better for you if youdon't want better for you.
So one thing I started doing it.
(09:25):
I find these littleinspirational quotes and on my
calendar at work, I write themdown, you know, so that I can
just look at them.
And I always write them down amonth in advance, and I just
write them on random days and Ijust look down at you know, like
that day, and I'm like, wow,that really makes sense.
That really hits hard.
That really hits hard right now.
(09:48):
But you know, like I reallyneeded that, like yesterday I
looked at my calendar and whatit said on there is I can sum up
life in three words it goes on.
And that's true, it goes on.
And then one from last week thatI had was um, how did it go?
Um, don't let today, don't letyesterday take up too much of
(10:13):
today.
And it's like man, becauseyesterday already happened and
you can't change it.
So why are we bringing thatinto today?
And I've had to realize thatyou can't change what happened
yesterday, you can't change whathappened the day before, you
definitely can't change whathappened last week or things
(10:34):
that have happened months oreven years ago.
So we can only, you know, wecan only take care of what has
happened today.
You know, because what they sayat the end of the day, the day
got to end, and when that dayends, whatever you're going
through that day, it may lingeron because it may not be a quick
(10:56):
fix, but your thought processabout the situation has to
change.
You cannot take that situation,that situation can't get better
if you keep going day after dayafter day after day and you
keep thinking negative about it.
It's like, how is the situationgoing to change if you just
(11:17):
keep thinking negative about it?
So I was dealing with asituation just a few days ago
and it's not even my situationto deal with, but it was brought
to me and I spoke to the personand I was like look, this is
what it is, this is what itain't.
I'm just coming to you andtelling you because I love you
(11:38):
and I'm here for you, but I'mnot going to speak on it, no
more after this.
Like, I'm telling you how it is, I'm putting it all out there
on front street and if you, youcan either accept it or you
can't.
Like I don't really care if youdo or you don't, because in the
long run, I'm not being, I'mbeing affected, but I'm not
being affected to the degreethat it's affecting you.
So I'm just here trying to lendmy support, trying to lend my
(12:01):
shoulder and trying to lend mylove.
If you don't want to listen, Ican't make you listen.
I can't, I can't make you wantto do better and I left it at
that and I can tell I'm growingbecause the old me would have
been trying to badger and likewell, why don't you listen.
And you know, a couple of yearsago I had to learn like you,
(12:22):
listen, to understand, not torespond.
So you have to have thosepositive thoughts in your head
before you can start saying,okay, this has got to get better
, whatever.
Whatever.
Like it start with you, itstart with you and then you take
(12:46):
it to your support system forkind of like a back, like they,
your backup dancers.
You know, you, you, you can be,you can be the front singer in
the group, they the backupsingers.
You know what I'm saying.
That's just how it has to go.
And so I go on YouTube every dayand I find little clips, little
(13:07):
church clips, and I listen tothem.
Just random one, whatever's inmy suggested, I go and I listen
to them.
And you know that's how I kindof get my day started.
You know, I say my, I wake up,I say my prayers before I even
get out of bed, before I evenput my feet on the ground, and
then I listened to my, to themessage, and then I sent it to
(13:30):
Nikki and then I go about my day.
And you know, I in order.
Order, for this is how Ioperate.
You know, sometimes I need alittle.
I need a little motivation.
Sometimes, you know, I don'talways have it, and this is the
(13:50):
way that I sometimes get, youknow, my motivation and it helps
me to think positive and, youknow, help me kind of get my day
started and move things along.
What I also realize, which I'mcalling the third quarter, is
(14:13):
you got to create a game planthat's going to last, because we
can sit here and say, ok, say,for instance, you have a credit
card and you have a balance onit and you're like, all right, I
have this plan to pay off thiscredit card, right, and once I
pay it off, I'm going to behappy.
Okay, that's fine and well.
(14:36):
But what are you going to do tokeep that balance from getting
back high again and getting outof control?
Because you always come up witha game plan to get to where you
want to be.
But what is the game plan?
To stay where you are, to staygrounded.
To stay where you are, to staygrounded, to stay humble, to
(14:59):
keep you in a state ofpositivity, to keep you in a
state of well-being and notwandering off to where you were.
Because what tends to happen isyou get grounded and you start
wandering.
And you start wandering and youwander farther than you were.
So say, if you had that creditcard and you had like a twenty
(15:21):
five hundred dollar balance onit and you paid it off and
you're like, all right, cool,it's paid off, I got it.
And then you start doing thesame thing over and over and
over.
The next thing, you know youhave five thousand dollars
balance and you're like well,how did I get here?
And then you come up with aplan and then you get it back
down to zero and then it goesback up again.
(15:42):
So we have to figure out, oncewe get to that spot where we're
good and we're comfortable, howdo we stay in that spot, what do
we need to do?
And in each time you're goingto learn something different
about yourself.
But how many times do you haveto wander off before you're like
I can't keep wandering off likethis?
(16:07):
How many times do you have togo out here and get saved before
you realize, oh, this ain'tworking, I can't do this anymore
.
I'm going to have to figure outa way that, once I get back on
solid ground, I'm going to stayon solid ground, because I can't
keep wandering off like thatand have to, you know, get, you
know, have to rescue and getsafe.
I gotta, I gotta, stay backhere, because doing the work
(16:28):
without having a plan, what isnothing?
Because it's like oh, okay, Igot here.
Okay, how do I stay here?
I'll just go day by day.
That's not a game plan.
I'll just take it day by day.
It's not a surefire game plan.
(16:50):
Me and Nikki have a flow chartthat when the day is going bad,
she'll be like you look at yourchart today and I'll be like no.
And then you know it's like didyou do this, yes or no?
Yes, ok, we'll do this.
No, ok, we go OK.
So this might be the problemright here.
And then we have a solution forwhichever way you go in the
(17:13):
matrix.
You know, that's, that's justhow it goes.
So having a game plan, you know, is what works best.
And for me, when I get to whereI want to be, I'm like OK.
So this is how I got here.
What do I need to stop doing orstart doing so that I may end up
(17:35):
back where I was?
So that I'm going to end upback where I was, so like with
the credit card.
So, for the example of thecredit card.
If I know that I was just outhere swiping like tip drill and
just swiping and buying and Ireally didn't need, I need to
stop buying, I need to stop justswiping it.
(18:02):
I need to be more mindful ofwhat it is that I'm doing, so
that I don't end up back overthere so I could be like OK,
well, I only use said creditcard when I go X, y, z.
I'm not going to take thatcredit card with me everywhere I
go, because that's how you getin trouble.
So I only take it out the housewhen I'm going X, y, z.
It's not going to go everywhere, because if it go everywhere,
I'm more likely to use it.
(18:23):
You know, makes sense.
Good analogy how do you knowwhen you're getting off track?
So how?
How do you know?
Like, what is it?
What would?
What are your indicators?
I know when I start getting offtrack, I get irritable and all
(18:49):
I want to do is sleep and y'allmight be like, oh, that sounds
like depression.
Okay, might be, but that's howI know I'm getting off track.
And when I feel that coming on,I'm like, nope, we're not going
back to that place Because,think about it.
Why do you want to go to aplace or be in a place where you
absolutely feel crappy?
(19:09):
You don't feel good and itdon't feel good to be there.
So if that's how it is, thenwhy do we keep wanting to go
there?
And I know for a fact that allthe crappy places I've been, I
don't want to go back there.
I don't want to go back therelike it wasn't a good time, it
(19:30):
wasn't a good feel.
I don't want to go back there.
So I make sure that you know Ido what I need to do and I keep
myself aligned, so I don't goback there.
You got to make sure that youknow the signs.
You know, or if you have peopleclose to you, they'd be like.
You know you don't seem likeyourself lately.
(19:52):
You know like what's going on.
You got to have people aroundyou that's going to do a
temperature check on you,because it's just like when a
child is sick.
You know like you look okay,but like are you?
You know like everything good.
You got to have somebody tocheck your temperature Because,
although you may feel good, youmay have a fever.
(20:14):
You know what I'm saying.
You may be walking around.
It's like a baby, they walkingaround, playing, but they got a
hundred and three fever.
But they kicking and cockingand you're like, well, you know,
like like you got to havesomebody on your team that's
going to check your temperatureand if your temperature is too
high you got to find thatmedicine to bring it back down.
(20:39):
Because you can't stayoperating at a high level like
that.
You can't live your life.
A child, or anybody for thatmatter, can't continue on with
103 fever for a month.
That's not cool, body gonnastart shutting down.
It's the same thing with people.
You can't operate at this real,real high go, go, go frequency
(21:01):
for a long time becauseeventually your body gonna start
shutting down Because the bodyis not meant to operate on go,
go, go all the time.
So you got to definitely havepeople around you that's gonna
check your temperature and helpyou bring that temperature down
if it starts to get up too high.
And I love my crew for that.
(21:22):
Like they call they check, theytake, they check my temperature
.
They be like I was good with itand I be like you might be
right.
You might be right becausesometimes they know you better
than you know.
You be right.
You might be right, becausesometimes they know you better
than you know you.
So you got to make sure yoursupport system, they're able to
check your temperature to getyou back and to you know, get
(21:45):
you back on solid ground, andyou know that's just what it is.
So that's my little spiel fortoday.
That's my little.
You know, like my, just what itis.
So that's my little spiel fortoday.
That's my little.
You know, like my little fourquarters, like how I get myself
back in.
You know we got to make surethat we're practicing self-care
because there are too many, toomany things going on out here,
(22:08):
too many illnesses that arecreeping up blood pressure,
strokes, heart attacks too manythings popping up out here that
are preventable if we onlypractice self-care more.
You should never feel guiltyabout self-care Not never at all
, because at any given momentI'm going to go make me a
appointment to get me a massage,I'm going to get my nails done,
(22:28):
I'm going to get me a facial orsomething.
Self-care.
Sometimes I just come home andwatch Netflix.
I know, like a couple weekendsago I laid in the bed all day
and just watched TV.
To me that was a form ofself-care.
I didn't want to do anything.
I got up, I ate, I took ashower and just laid in a bed
(22:50):
and watched TV, because that iswhat was comfortable for me,
that was my self-care, like letme just lay here, let me rest.
One thing I also started doingis I also sleeping with my watch
on.
And so I noticed that I wasn'tgetting sleep and I was like you
know what this has got tochange, because if I'm not
(23:10):
getting sleep, then I'm notbeing the best version of me.
If I'm not getting sleep, thenI'm not being the best version
of me.
And over the past three weeks,like my watch said that like I
sleep an average of eight hoursand 15 minutes a night, like I
am getting a good night rest,but before it said my average
sleep was three hours and like45 minutes a night, and I'm like
(23:32):
can't nobody function off ofthat?
And it was.
I go to the chart and it wouldshow me my patterns and you know
it'd give you a littleinformation.
Like hey, like this is nothealthy.
You know, um, lack of sleep isnot good for your brain, it's
not good for your heart, youknow it could set you up for,
you know, diabetes and you know,like different stuff, like that
(23:55):
.
So I made sure I startedgetting my sleep, whether that
mean I got to shut it down alittle bit earlier so that I
could get all those hours ofsleep.
You know whether I had to, youknow, end my shows earlier.
You know, put my phone downearlier.
I do it so that I could be thebest version of myself and I
(24:20):
also, when I get off of work, Istart putting my phone on do not
disturb, because that'sdistractions.
Those distractions can keep youfrom being the best version of
you.
It's outside noise, so you gotto start blocking out the noise
and I feel like the do notdisturb function has to be the
best thing that I've ever had.
It shuts off the text, thecalls, social medias, everything
, and I am like great.
I come home, eat dinner, take ashower, relax and watch a
(24:41):
couple of shows and then go tobed.
But I'm comfortable in that.
That's my self-care and I lovethat for me.
I just love that for me and Ilove that for y'all too.
So I want y'all to practice alittle bit more self-care.
You know what I'm saying andyou know, so that you know
(25:04):
self-care is good for youbecause it helps with your
immune system, because the moreyou stressed out and fatigued
and stuff like that, the more itsuppresses your immune system
and the sicker you get.
And it's going to be summertime.
Who got time to be in the house?
Because they sick?
Okay, not her, not she.
I got streets to be in Notreally in the streets, because
(25:33):
it's weird out there.
Maybe I meant my sheets and notthe streets.
You know, heavy emphasis on mysheets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're goingsomewhere else, but that's,
that's my four quarters ofself-care.
Now, let's go with this.
(25:54):
You can't make this up Right.
So there I was, in you know newfaces.
He's supposed to be my, he'ssupposed to be my reminder
sometimes.
And I said, hey, lj, remind meon the way home, stop and get
some gas.
I said because gas light is on,so remind me, stop and get some
gas.
I said because the gas light ison, so remind me to stop and
(26:15):
get some gas.
He's like okay, mom.
So I just happened to begetting ready to turn said
corner to go to our home andthis thing is bothering me To
our home.
And I was getting ready to getin the turn lane and the car
(26:36):
started slowing down.
I was like what in the world?
And I looked down and guesswhat?
Y'all?
I had no gas, like all the like.
When I put this video up, I'llinsert the picture I had no gas,
your girl was out of gas and Iwas like okay, but luckily there
was no traffic and I was ableto pull over into the gas
station and get some gas.
So kids gonna fail you everytime.
(26:57):
But he's like well, I didn'tremember mom.
I said well, I told you becauseI knew I was gonna forget.
So how we both forget.
I was like it was finna, be ahot ass.
Walk home, bro, because you yousupposed to remind me.
Now you remind me when I oweyou money so that you can buy
them video games.
But you couldn't remind me thatI need to stop to get gas, like
(27:20):
where your priorities at, bro,where your priorities at.
And then we get to the gasstation, he's like can I get a
donut, bro?
You couldn't even remember totell me to stop and get gas, but
you knew you wanted somethingfrom the store.
Kids going to fail you everytime, every single time, I was
(27:42):
like go on over there and getyour little donut.
Hurry up, though, because I'malmost done paying, hurry up.
And last but not least, lastweek well, not last week, but
two weeks ago, because last weekyour girl was sick.
So I get really bad migrainesand the migraine had me down up
under the sheets.
I was in a bad spot.
But last but not least, acouple weeks ago I forgot the
(28:09):
song lyric of the week.
Nikki said you know what?
You forgot the song lyric ofthe week.
And I was like I know I forgotsomething, so they're just
seeing short.
So my song lyric of the weekfor this week is Friday and Meek
Mill.
Proud of me, and as always,I've said it a million times
Make sure when you listen to theepisodes you're not just
(28:29):
listening but you aredownloading.
Make sure you are following us.
Make sure you're hitting themnotifications so that when a new
episode is released you'll bethe first one to get it.
You just ride on the work andlisten to it.
I will say dropping them kidsoff school, but it's summertime
and ain't no school.
Um, make sure you follow us onig.
If you want to do anycollaborations, you can go on
(28:51):
the IG page.
The email is there.
It's also thegagispod atgmailcom.
And yeah, we about this thing?
I am your girl, charlie Shante.
This is the Gag.
Is Pod, bye, guys.
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