October 17, 2025 • 25 mins
We share simple, real ways to build quality family time during the school year—car chats with the radio off, no-phone dinners, and small rituals that help kids feel seen. From pumpkin nights to pool dares to a heart-racing driving lesson, we show how micro moments add up.
• why quality beats quantity for family time
• car conversations as a safe space
• dinner as a no‑tech zone with Jeopardy
• easy traditions like pumpkin painting and food bars
• simple games over long, draining ones
• mixing spontaneity with consistency
• easing test season stress with warmth and humor
• visible calendars and kid input for buy‑in
• giving yourself grace when weeks are heavy
• the teen driving story that became family lore
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gaggas Pod.
I am your girl Charlie Shantae.
Thank you for joining me onanother episode.
And like I always say, if thisis a new episode, then that must
mean it's Friday.
And even if you're listening tothis on a different day, I
appreciate you.
So before we get started, makesure you like, share, and you
(00:54):
subscribe.
And make sure wherever you'relistening to me on your favorite
podcast now, you are hittingthat notification bell.
There's probably a little plussign up there.
So that when a new episode isreleased, you are one of the
first to know, and it's alreadythere.
So all you gotta do is hit play.
Alright.
And like I always say, grab yourdrink, um, grab your snack or
(01:16):
whatever it is you do when youlisten to this episode, and
we're gonna go ahead and jumpinto today's episode.
So today's episode, I I, youknow, I know y'all like those
good heartfelt episodes, youknow, when I talk about family
and parenting and the kids andstuff like that.
So I felt like you know what I'msaying, we're getting into the
(01:37):
fall month, you know, toward theend of the year, halfway through
the school year.
So, what better topic than totalk about than spending time
with your family during the busyand chaotic school year?
I know personally, crazy, crazy,crazy.
From the time I get off fromwork, uh, I don't get home till
(01:58):
like eight, nine o'clock atnight.
Um, and it's just like go, go,go, go, go.
On the weekends, it's just likego, go, go, go, go.
And it's like you can never slowdown.
And it's like, if we neverslowing down, then how can we
get that quality family time inwith our kids?
Well, we're gonna talk aboutthat today, okay?
So um, you know, one of thethings with family time that I
(02:18):
feel like matters with familytime is, you know, it helps you
feel connected with your kidskind of like.
Um, you know, they feel theyfeel emotionally okay, you feel
emotionally okay, you can, youknow, have conversations, you
can talk and you know, kind ofvibe because when let's let's
let's all face it.
When you're busy, you just inthe car and you typically listen
(02:40):
to the music.
What I do when I'm in a car withNew Face, we have conversations.
He can bring a book, or I'llturn the radio off and we'll
have conversations.
We'll talk about his day, we'lltalk about my day, we'll talk
about whatever it is we want totalk about, and so it just helps
us to communicate better, youknow, it creates stronger
communication, you know, to lether know like this is a safe
(03:00):
space.
You can talk to me aboutwhatever it is that you want,
you know, and there's just nojudgment.
And I know after I've had a longday, that boy be telling me some
stories, and I'd be like, youknow what, y'all be at that
school crash now every day, andI'm here for these stories, I'm
here for the high school drama.
Do you know how much drama theygot in high school?
(03:20):
Talk to a high school kid,you'll be like, Oh my god, this
is better than your average soulpopper, better than any play you
finna see, okay, because youcan't make this up and remind
you, these kids is uh 14 to 18,okay?
It's like y'all got that kind ofdrama already.
But I'll be here for it becauseI need to know why David and
(03:41):
Jessica broke up, you know.
Like, what is going on here?
All because uh Jessica gave uhZach a eraser because he he
needed to erase it get deep likethat, and I'll be laughing
because it'd be funny, and I'llbe like, oh boy, boy, boy.
They just don't know that it getit it it it yeah and and you
(04:10):
know bonding and you knowspending time together, it often
um, you know, it's not about thenumber of times that we spend
together because you you do wantto spend every day with your
kids and you know bond withthem, but you want to make sure
when you're spending time withthem that it is quality time and
not quantity time, not you'relistening to your kid and you're
on your phone, but you actuallylike we hear, like I hear you, I
(04:34):
see you, I'm present.
You know, when I when I'mtalking to my kids, I try to
make sure I'm present, unlessI'm sitting on the couch having
my quiet time and they come inand they start talking to me
because I'm not finna put mygame down.
Could y'all say I'm in mypersonal time and y'all?
But other than that, I didn'tgive y'all y'all time, I done
told y'all what it is.
So, like, why why are you here?
(04:56):
Like, why are you here?
We've had our conversation time.
Why are you here?
Um, so you know, every momentcounts.
So you have what you can callmicro moments, and what I mean
by micro moments is like havingdinner together, even in a sh
even if it's a short period oftime, 30 minutes.
So, one thing we used to dobefore um New Faces Swim went
(05:19):
long was I would cook and thenwe would sit down and then we
would watch Jeopardy.
Um, Jeopardy, where we live,comes on at 7:30.
We would get our food, sit down,and watch Jeopardy, and you
know, we would answer thequestions, we would eat our
food, and that's just kind ofwhat we did.
That was kind of like our dinnertime routine.
Like I said, now New Face is hasa new swim schedule, and that
(05:41):
isn't as feasible um anymore,but you know, we we try to still
talk.
Like now we've moved fromJeopardy to talking while the
boys are doing the dishes.
You know, it you're like, whatare they doing?
Chores and talk to him, yeah.
Like we still gonna kiki um alittle bit, you know what I'm
(06:01):
saying?
And I mean, chit-chatting ischit-chatting to me.
I mean, that's how I look at it.
Uh, and you know, bedtimeroutines.
So let me tell y'all, New Faceis my big baby at heart, and
that boy there, mmm, he loves hemama bad.
So his nighttime routine is hegonna go take a shower and then
(06:23):
he gonna come tell me goodnightthree times before he actually
gets in the bed to go to bed.
He's gonna come three times andhe be like, This time number
one, this time number two, thistime number three, or he'll tell
me a time one, a time two.
I'm tired, mom, so I'm probablynot gonna be no time two, or it
ain't gonna be no time threebecause I'm gonna go lay down
(06:46):
after this.
And I'll be like, okay, cool.
And so typically when he dothat, that's my cue to get lead
aloft and go get in my bed.
I'm like, okay, he he down forthe count, so let me go in my
room and uh get in my bed aswell.
Because if you sleepy, I'msleepy too.
(07:06):
So I mean, let's just go tosleep.
And you know, I actually got ascript today, y'all.
Ain't y'all proud of me?
And uh our the next littlesegment, see, I be having it so
together that it be confusingme.
Like, I kind of prefer doingepisodes off the dome for y'all.
(07:30):
Um, but I be trying to like makethe episodes longer, so I'll be
trying to create a script.
Sometimes it be working andsometimes it don't be working.
So if it sounds like I'm alittle scattered, I'm just
trying to read off my script alittle bit.
Um, but uh family rituals andtraditions.
Um, we used to have a movienight and a game night when it
(07:51):
be in October right now.
Um, this month we always have ayearly pumpkin painting and
pumpkin cutting.
So that's gonna be coming up ina couple of weeks.
And I'll normally do food that Ithink what do they want this
year?
I think they want a potato barthis year, but I do know I gotta
make some queso.
Queso has been requested, soit's either gonna be potatoes
and nachos or Malia asked me todo some other kind of uh because
(08:17):
I'm I'm good for doing like abar, making taking something
plain and then just making ummaking toppings for it.
I can't remember what she askedme.
I know I'm gonna do nachos andbaked potatoes.
I can't remember what the otherthing is uh that she asked me
for, but uh whatever it is, I'mado it.
Uh, and we're gonna have fundoing it.
(08:37):
And when we do that, that's justour time to like kiki.
You know, we might turn on somemusic, we might watch a movie or
loosely watch a movie.
Um, but we're gonna paint,they're gonna do their pumpkins,
and you know, we just gonna havea good time.
You know, it's a good Fridaynight.
Um, it's just always a good timewith my kids.
(08:58):
It's the little things, youknow.
We might play a couple of gamesor something like that.
With them, it is literally justthe little things.
Like the uh New Face and Maliastarted the pumpkin carving um
tradition.
So we just keep it, we just keepit going and going and going and
going.
Um, but this year it's gonna bea little bit bigger, a little
(09:19):
bit better.
Um, and you know, consistencymatters, so don't be like, okay,
we're gonna have to play a gametonight, and then you don't play
a game on a Friday night for thenext uh four Fridays.
So what I do, we have simplegames, we have cards, we play
goldfish, we play little simplecard games, we have checkers,
(09:41):
um, we I think we have trouble,you know, just quick little
simple games.
One of the games we do not playin this house is Monopoly,
because that game takes way,way, way, way too long, and I be
getting bored.
Um, we play Connect 4 or umwe'll play Cornhole.
Um, we'll just do something fun,um, just as simple as that.
(10:02):
Darts.
Just simple, just simple, simplelittle stuff.
Um, sometimes for Family Night,if we're doing an outside family
night, we'll go to top golf,we'll go to main event, uh, you
know, just some Dave and Bustersor something just as simple as
that.
We'll go down the channel sideand walk around, just something
simple, just the most simplestthing ever.
(10:26):
Because I mean, it's the littlebit that count up.
You don't have to do somethinggrand, you don't always have to
go to Disney, you don't have togo to Universal, you don't have
to fly somewhere, you don't haveto go on a vacation, but just
it's just the little things.
I know when New Face wasyounger, we did used to get the
after 4 p.m.
passes for Disney.
Um, and we used to go like onrandom days during the week and
(10:47):
just go to Disney, be like, oh,we're gonna go Disney this week
or today, or you know, we'regonna go to Universal.
Like we had Disney andUniversal, then we had SeaWorld
too.
So we would just take turnsgoing to different places.
You know, I go pick up Leah, andyou know, we just all jump in
the car, like no rhyme orreason.
It wasn't planned out.
I felt like it today, so we justgonna go.
(11:08):
Like, that's just what it is.
Like, no, no rhyme and reason.
I'll be like, all right, Nick,I'm gonna go pick up Malia and
uh and Jay from schools, and wefinna slide and go to Disney.
She'll be home later.
She'll be like, okay, girl,like, whatever.
Um, you know, just do stuff tomake it fun because kids thrive
(11:29):
on consistency.
Um, I know if I do something andit's out the ordinary, like I
start something and then I don'tkeep it up, New Face be like, so
we're not gonna do this no more,we're not gonna do that no more.
He holds me accountable.
So you gotta make sureconsistency, you're being
consistent with your child um atall times, regardless of what
you do.
(11:50):
You know, make do the samething.
You can switch it up, be varietywith it, you know, just so they
don't get bored.
Just make it fun.
Um, when we have familyactivities, I make sure I
involve the kids.
I'll be like, what y'all want todo?
I never just solely pick.
I want my kids to know that Ilisten to them and they are
(12:10):
hurt.
I'll be like, What activitiesy'all want to do?
Even sometimes we'll cook as anactivity.
My kids love to eat, and so youknow, hey, let's cook, let's
cook up a dish, or let me showyou how to do this, or uh how to
do that, or we'll even do adeclutter day, and I'll be like,
you take this, you take this,and I'm gonna take this.
And we'll we'll have a like adeclutter night, and the things
(12:33):
that we find, I'm like, wheredid that come from?
So it doesn't always have to besomething extravagant because
who would know decluttering?
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought that thatwould have been fun?
But you never know what you'regoing to find, and when you find
stuff, it brings up oldmemories, old fun memories.
(12:53):
You be like, oh my god, youremember?
Like right now, we're in a phasethat we be finding all kinds of
stuff, and I'll be like, Oh mygod, that is a COVID purchase.
What was we thinking buyingthis?
Or oh my gosh, like, why did webuy this?
Like, how many times did we useit?
Or we were just literally justout here buying stuff during
COVID.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
(13:13):
So when I be looking at some ofthat stuff, I'd be like, I
really spent my money on that,like, oh my god, like I was just
out here just buying stuff.
Uh another thing that we dosometimes is we'll watch a movie
um or we'll watch like a TVshow.
Like um, we'll watch the bakingshows.
(13:35):
New Face likes the baking shows,so we'll watch the baking show
sometime, or sometimes we'lljust sit down and we'll read, or
we'll watch NationalGeographics.
Everything out theextraordinary, we're gonna do.
Be like, you watching yes, weall we like to learn around here
because we'll see something onNational NetGo and we'll be
like, Oh, well, maybe we need togo see that, or maybe we need to
go do that.
(13:56):
Always fun, it is never a dullmoment in this house.
I mean, not never, like we beserious sometime, but 99% of the
time, it's all shits andgiggles.
But that one percent, you know,we be we be a little serious,
you know, here and there.
Um, but more times than likelybecause I want my kids to have
(14:19):
like a nice fun environment.
I don't want it to be, I don'twant it to feel like a boot
camp, I don't want it to feellike Uber strict, I don't want
it to feel like they can't havea childhood.
I don't want it to feel likeuptight, I want it to be nice
and warm and welcoming andwhatever makes them feel
(14:42):
comfortable within a certainlimit.
But my kids don't do nothingextreme.
The most extreme thing they gotgoing right now, when you turn
the lights on in the hallway, uhthey change colors before they
turn the white.
That is the most extreme thing,and they just get a kick.
And I think it's been like thatfor like since COVID.
COVID purchase, and we changeall the lights in the hallway,
up and down the hallway.
(15:03):
So when you turn the light on,it flicks through all the colors
before it turns white.
Gotta let kids be kids.
It's within reason.
You you you only get onechildhood, and I want to ensure
that um my kids have the mostamazingness childhood.
Be like mom made sure we neverdid the same thing over and
(15:24):
over.
We good.
Like we got to explore, we gotto do stuff.
Um I remember when we got ourpool built, it was done in
February, and although we had aheater on it, the heater didn't
get the heater, it wasn't on andit wasn't heating the pool
enough.
So, as cold as it was inFebruary, we all just took a
plunge because we were superexcited that the pool was done.
(15:46):
So we do like little stuff likethat.
We'll do little dares uh uh inthe pool because it has lights,
so we can do stuff at night.
We just have so much random fun.
Like I said, we never plan ourfun, the fun just finds us, and
we're like, oh, okay, like,yeah, like we can do this, we
can roll with it.
So much fun.
(16:06):
I think it turns out way, way,way better.
Like, we'll pay like a cup pong,or just the list goes on and on
and on.
We make up stuff to do.
I remember one time I had themhave cups and they had to blow
it off the edge of the table,and it was like just silly stuff
like that.
(16:27):
Um, I mean, you just gotta havefun um with your kids,
especially during the schoolyear because they're already in
school, they're testing, and youknow, they have homework.
I know it's like um fall testingseason.
Newface had the PSAT this week.
I think he says he had somelittle other tests going, they
have the benchmark test.
So if I can make things a littlebit easier and a little less
(16:51):
uptight, I try my best uh to dothat just to ensure things is
good and things are smooth.
And like I said, it helps me toobecause I like being funny, I
like being silly, and I likelaughing with the kids.
So anytime that I can hang withthem and they make them laugh
and then they make me laugh,it's a very good day uh for me.
(17:14):
Um, we do have a time where,well, during dinner, I don't
allow cell phones, like noelectronics during dinner.
Like we need to sit down, weneed to talk to each other.
Like I said, we usually watchJeopardy or different other
little stuff, but typically it'sa no-tech zone unless like we're
eating and then like the weatheris bad or something like that,
(17:36):
and we're like keeping up withthe weather.
But other than that, dinner timeis a no phone time.
Um, but you know, if we justhanging out on the couch, we're
watching movies, watching TV,then you know, by all means, uh,
New Face only gets phone time onthe weekends.
Um, he doesn't get it during theweek because he has practice and
(17:57):
he has homework, and so we wantto make sure we're prioritizing
homework and he's not gettingdistracted by other things.
Um, a couple things that I'veseen people do um to help stay
on track and to make sure thatthey are spending time with
their family and they're gettinggood family time is putting it
(18:17):
on your calendar.
It sounds silly, but a lot ofpeople are visual and they look
at the calendar, they're like,oh, okay, like we have family
time scheduled for tomorrow, andwe're going to see a movie.
Simple as that.
I have a calendar in my room andI write it down so the kids can
easily come in there and seewhat's on the calendar if we
have something on the calendarto do or etc.
(18:42):
Um, like I said, I focus onbeing present.
I try to make sure I am aspresent as possible.
And if I if New Face startstalking, I feel like he's gonna
be a while, and he interrupts meduring my personal time.
I'll put my phone down because Iplay my little game, I'll put my
phone or my tablet down and I'lllisten to him because I want him
(19:03):
to be heard, I don't want him tofeel like he's just talking and
I'm not listening.
I want him to feel heard, so Imake sure that I am present.
Um, I'm not perfect, not by anystretch of imagination, I'm not
perfect, but I do want him to beheard and I am make sure that I
am very present and aware.
(19:25):
Just like when he goes to swimpractice, I am there, I am
present, I am aware.
So every time he finishesswimming or he gets from one end
to the next, he always looksover at me.
And when he looks up, I alwaysensure that we lock eyes so that
he knows that mom is present,mom is here.
(19:46):
One thing, this one I need topractice more because I don't do
it enough.
I don't give myself enough gracewhen it comes to parenting.
I feel like everything's gottabe dressed right dress,
everything's gotta be in tip toporder.
I don't like, I don't likeunstructured.
And even though I don't likeunstructured, I gotta be able to
give myself grace becausealthough I want to have a family
(20:09):
time, extravagant family timeevery weekend, I know that
that's not possible.
And I need to give myself alittle bit of grace because
every week is different, not allweeks are the same.
Gotta give myself grace becauseit's okay to be tired.
If I don't have any energy togive, how can I give energy to
them and having fun and engagingwith them?
I can't if I'm if if I'm tired.
(20:32):
So I make sure that I ampresent, I make sure that I am
resting, and I make sure that Ican give them my undivided full
attention during our family timeand whatever activity we may or
may not be doing.
Last but not least, you can'tmake this up.
(20:58):
So for my you can't make thisup, new face is learning how to
drive.
And his car had to get the carthat he's gonna get had to get
clean because the dog pooped inthe car.
So I let him drive my car, Ihave a bins, I let him drive my
car and I take him over to thelittle neighborhood.
(21:18):
And I was like, okay, he's doinggood.
So the first day he did reallywell, and I was like, oh my God,
he's catching on real quick.
So the second day we go outthere, and I was like, All
right, do the same thing you didyesterday because you did so
good.
Now, this boy drives my car, soI gotta be present.
And I people be like, Oh my god,you are so patient.
How do you do it?
(21:39):
I said, I have God and Geico, soI'm gonna be good.
So he was going, he was turning,and then all of a sudden, my boy
drifted in the bends through acorner.
I'm like, What are you doing?
And then he was like, What youmean?
And then when he said, What youmean, he took his hands off the
(22:00):
wheel by pushing the gas.
He said, What you mean?
We done drifted over.
Now they don't have any houses,so it's just like a curbeless
street, and then there's like alittle mound of dirt.
My boy didn't drift it all.
I was like, and I had to grabthe wheel, and I was like, I had
to swing that thing back.
I said, He's like, What?
I was like, first of all, Jesusis not taking the wheel, so put
(22:21):
your hands back on the wheel.
Let's slow down, let's reset.
I looked at my watch, I don'tunderstand how my heart rate
wasn't up.
My heart rate was like 72.
I was like, it feels like it'son 172.
Because the body, do youunderstand what just happened?
Because I know what happened.
Do you not understand whathappened?
(22:42):
So um, I said I need to make hisdrive and him learning how to
drive.
I need to make that into a likea miniature vlog or something,
because baby, it ain't for theweek.
And he's like, Mom, can I drivesuch and such?
Can such and such drive with me?
And I'll be like, and then I'llbe like, You gotta go ask them.
I ain't speaking for nobodybecause I don't know if they
want this stress today, like,but go ahead.
(23:04):
You can't use my car, you gottause their car, but go ahead.
Run along.
Um, so that is my you can't makethis story up.
That is my story for the week.
So just remember, you know, whenit comes to parenting and
spending time during the schoolyear, even the small moments add
up because four quarters stillequal a dollar, correct?
(23:28):
All right, so it's the smallthings, you gotta take it piece
by piece by piece.
You don't eat a pizza whole, youeat it slice by slice.
So just the small things, um,they add up.
And yeah, so that's that's myappearance episode for the week.
Yay! And remember, if you havenot already, please make sure
(23:49):
you are liking, sharing, andsubscribing.
Please make sure you arefollowing us on YouTube at the
gag is pod.
And that is the same handle onInstagram as well and on TikTok,
The Gag is Pod.
Make sure you're liking it sothat every um on your favorite
podcast and out so that everytime a new episode is released,
you'll be one of the first toget it.
Episodes in the video form arereleased on Saturday.
(24:13):
So make sure you, after youlisten to this, you go over
there on Saturday and you watchthis in the flesh so you can see
me and I can see you.
And yeah, until next time, I amyour girl Charlie Shantae.
This is the Gag is Pod.
Bye guys.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the
Gaggas Pod.
I am your girl Charlie Shantae.
Thank you for joining me onanother episode.
And like I always say, if thisis a new episode, then that must
mean it's Friday.
And even if you're listening tothis on a different day, I
appreciate you.
So before we get started, makesure you like, share, and you
(00:54):
subscribe.
And make sure wherever you'relistening to me on your favorite
podcast now, you are hittingthat notification bell.
There's probably a little plussign up there.
So that when a new episode isreleased, you are one of the
first to know, and it's alreadythere.
So all you gotta do is hit play.
Alright.
And like I always say, grab yourdrink, um, grab your snack or
(01:16):
whatever it is you do when youlisten to this episode, and
we're gonna go ahead and jumpinto today's episode.
So today's episode, I I, youknow, I know y'all like those
good heartfelt episodes, youknow, when I talk about family
and parenting and the kids andstuff like that.
So I felt like you know what I'msaying, we're getting into the
(01:37):
fall month, you know, toward theend of the year, halfway through
the school year.
So, what better topic than totalk about than spending time
with your family during the busyand chaotic school year?
I know personally, crazy, crazy,crazy.
From the time I get off fromwork, uh, I don't get home till
(01:58):
like eight, nine o'clock atnight.
Um, and it's just like go, go,go, go, go.
On the weekends, it's just likego, go, go, go, go.
And it's like you can never slowdown.
And it's like, if we neverslowing down, then how can we
get that quality family time inwith our kids?
Well, we're gonna talk aboutthat today, okay?
So um, you know, one of thethings with family time that I
(02:18):
feel like matters with familytime is, you know, it helps you
feel connected with your kidskind of like.
Um, you know, they feel theyfeel emotionally okay, you feel
emotionally okay, you can, youknow, have conversations, you
can talk and you know, kind ofvibe because when let's let's
let's all face it.
When you're busy, you just inthe car and you typically listen
(02:40):
to the music.
What I do when I'm in a car withNew Face, we have conversations.
He can bring a book, or I'llturn the radio off and we'll
have conversations.
We'll talk about his day, we'lltalk about my day, we'll talk
about whatever it is we want totalk about, and so it just helps
us to communicate better, youknow, it creates stronger
communication, you know, to lether know like this is a safe
(03:00):
space.
You can talk to me aboutwhatever it is that you want,
you know, and there's just nojudgment.
And I know after I've had a longday, that boy be telling me some
stories, and I'd be like, youknow what, y'all be at that
school crash now every day, andI'm here for these stories, I'm
here for the high school drama.
Do you know how much drama theygot in high school?
(03:20):
Talk to a high school kid,you'll be like, Oh my god, this
is better than your average soulpopper, better than any play you
finna see, okay, because youcan't make this up and remind
you, these kids is uh 14 to 18,okay?
It's like y'all got that kind ofdrama already.
But I'll be here for it becauseI need to know why David and
(03:41):
Jessica broke up, you know.
Like, what is going on here?
All because uh Jessica gave uhZach a eraser because he he
needed to erase it get deep likethat, and I'll be laughing
because it'd be funny, and I'llbe like, oh boy, boy, boy.
They just don't know that it getit it it it yeah and and you
(04:10):
know bonding and you knowspending time together, it often
um, you know, it's not about thenumber of times that we spend
together because you you do wantto spend every day with your
kids and you know bond withthem, but you want to make sure
when you're spending time withthem that it is quality time and
not quantity time, not you'relistening to your kid and you're
on your phone, but you actuallylike we hear, like I hear you, I
(04:34):
see you, I'm present.
You know, when I when I'mtalking to my kids, I try to
make sure I'm present, unlessI'm sitting on the couch having
my quiet time and they come inand they start talking to me
because I'm not finna put mygame down.
Could y'all say I'm in mypersonal time and y'all?
But other than that, I didn'tgive y'all y'all time, I done
told y'all what it is.
So, like, why why are you here?
(04:56):
Like, why are you here?
We've had our conversation time.
Why are you here?
Um, so you know, every momentcounts.
So you have what you can callmicro moments, and what I mean
by micro moments is like havingdinner together, even in a sh
even if it's a short period oftime, 30 minutes.
So, one thing we used to dobefore um New Faces Swim went
(05:19):
long was I would cook and thenwe would sit down and then we
would watch Jeopardy.
Um, Jeopardy, where we live,comes on at 7:30.
We would get our food, sit down,and watch Jeopardy, and you
know, we would answer thequestions, we would eat our
food, and that's just kind ofwhat we did.
That was kind of like our dinnertime routine.
Like I said, now New Face is hasa new swim schedule, and that
(05:41):
isn't as feasible um anymore,but you know, we we try to still
talk.
Like now we've moved fromJeopardy to talking while the
boys are doing the dishes.
You know, it you're like, whatare they doing?
Chores and talk to him, yeah.
Like we still gonna kiki um alittle bit, you know what I'm
(06:01):
saying?
And I mean, chit-chatting ischit-chatting to me.
I mean, that's how I look at it.
Uh, and you know, bedtimeroutines.
So let me tell y'all, New Faceis my big baby at heart, and
that boy there, mmm, he loves hemama bad.
So his nighttime routine is hegonna go take a shower and then
(06:23):
he gonna come tell me goodnightthree times before he actually
gets in the bed to go to bed.
He's gonna come three times andhe be like, This time number
one, this time number two, thistime number three, or he'll tell
me a time one, a time two.
I'm tired, mom, so I'm probablynot gonna be no time two, or it
ain't gonna be no time threebecause I'm gonna go lay down
(06:46):
after this.
And I'll be like, okay, cool.
And so typically when he dothat, that's my cue to get lead
aloft and go get in my bed.
I'm like, okay, he he down forthe count, so let me go in my
room and uh get in my bed aswell.
Because if you sleepy, I'msleepy too.
(07:06):
So I mean, let's just go tosleep.
And you know, I actually got ascript today, y'all.
Ain't y'all proud of me?
And uh our the next littlesegment, see, I be having it so
together that it be confusingme.
Like, I kind of prefer doingepisodes off the dome for y'all.
(07:30):
Um, but I be trying to like makethe episodes longer, so I'll be
trying to create a script.
Sometimes it be working andsometimes it don't be working.
So if it sounds like I'm alittle scattered, I'm just
trying to read off my script alittle bit.
Um, but uh family rituals andtraditions.
Um, we used to have a movienight and a game night when it
(07:51):
be in October right now.
Um, this month we always have ayearly pumpkin painting and
pumpkin cutting.
So that's gonna be coming up ina couple of weeks.
And I'll normally do food that Ithink what do they want this
year?
I think they want a potato barthis year, but I do know I gotta
make some queso.
Queso has been requested, soit's either gonna be potatoes
and nachos or Malia asked me todo some other kind of uh because
(08:17):
I'm I'm good for doing like abar, making taking something
plain and then just making ummaking toppings for it.
I can't remember what she askedme.
I know I'm gonna do nachos andbaked potatoes.
I can't remember what the otherthing is uh that she asked me
for, but uh whatever it is, I'mado it.
Uh, and we're gonna have fundoing it.
(08:37):
And when we do that, that's justour time to like kiki.
You know, we might turn on somemusic, we might watch a movie or
loosely watch a movie.
Um, but we're gonna paint,they're gonna do their pumpkins,
and you know, we just gonna havea good time.
You know, it's a good Fridaynight.
Um, it's just always a good timewith my kids.
(08:58):
It's the little things, youknow.
We might play a couple of gamesor something like that.
With them, it is literally justthe little things.
Like the uh New Face and Maliastarted the pumpkin carving um
tradition.
So we just keep it, we just keepit going and going and going and
going.
Um, but this year it's gonna bea little bit bigger, a little
(09:19):
bit better.
Um, and you know, consistencymatters, so don't be like, okay,
we're gonna have to play a gametonight, and then you don't play
a game on a Friday night for thenext uh four Fridays.
So what I do, we have simplegames, we have cards, we play
goldfish, we play little simplecard games, we have checkers,
(09:41):
um, we I think we have trouble,you know, just quick little
simple games.
One of the games we do not playin this house is Monopoly,
because that game takes way,way, way, way too long, and I be
getting bored.
Um, we play Connect 4 or umwe'll play Cornhole.
Um, we'll just do something fun,um, just as simple as that.
(10:02):
Darts.
Just simple, just simple, simplelittle stuff.
Um, sometimes for Family Night,if we're doing an outside family
night, we'll go to top golf,we'll go to main event, uh, you
know, just some Dave and Bustersor something just as simple as
that.
We'll go down the channel sideand walk around, just something
simple, just the most simplestthing ever.
(10:26):
Because I mean, it's the littlebit that count up.
You don't have to do somethinggrand, you don't always have to
go to Disney, you don't have togo to Universal, you don't have
to fly somewhere, you don't haveto go on a vacation, but just
it's just the little things.
I know when New Face wasyounger, we did used to get the
after 4 p.m.
passes for Disney.
Um, and we used to go like onrandom days during the week and
(10:47):
just go to Disney, be like, oh,we're gonna go Disney this week
or today, or you know, we'regonna go to Universal.
Like we had Disney andUniversal, then we had SeaWorld
too.
So we would just take turnsgoing to different places.
You know, I go pick up Leah, andyou know, we just all jump in
the car, like no rhyme orreason.
It wasn't planned out.
I felt like it today, so we justgonna go.
(11:08):
Like, that's just what it is.
Like, no, no rhyme and reason.
I'll be like, all right, Nick,I'm gonna go pick up Malia and
uh and Jay from schools, and wefinna slide and go to Disney.
She'll be home later.
She'll be like, okay, girl,like, whatever.
Um, you know, just do stuff tomake it fun because kids thrive
(11:29):
on consistency.
Um, I know if I do something andit's out the ordinary, like I
start something and then I don'tkeep it up, New Face be like, so
we're not gonna do this no more,we're not gonna do that no more.
He holds me accountable.
So you gotta make sureconsistency, you're being
consistent with your child um atall times, regardless of what
you do.
(11:50):
You know, make do the samething.
You can switch it up, be varietywith it, you know, just so they
don't get bored.
Just make it fun.
Um, when we have familyactivities, I make sure I
involve the kids.
I'll be like, what y'all want todo?
I never just solely pick.
I want my kids to know that Ilisten to them and they are
(12:10):
hurt.
I'll be like, What activitiesy'all want to do?
Even sometimes we'll cook as anactivity.
My kids love to eat, and so youknow, hey, let's cook, let's
cook up a dish, or let me showyou how to do this, or uh how to
do that, or we'll even do adeclutter day, and I'll be like,
you take this, you take this,and I'm gonna take this.
And we'll we'll have a like adeclutter night, and the things
(12:33):
that we find, I'm like, wheredid that come from?
So it doesn't always have to besomething extravagant because
who would know decluttering?
Who would have thought?
Who would have thought that thatwould have been fun?
But you never know what you'regoing to find, and when you find
stuff, it brings up oldmemories, old fun memories.
(12:53):
You be like, oh my god, youremember?
Like right now, we're in a phasethat we be finding all kinds of
stuff, and I'll be like, Oh mygod, that is a COVID purchase.
What was we thinking buyingthis?
Or oh my gosh, like, why did webuy this?
Like, how many times did we useit?
Or we were just literally justout here buying stuff during
COVID.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
(13:13):
So when I be looking at some ofthat stuff, I'd be like, I
really spent my money on that,like, oh my god, like I was just
out here just buying stuff.
Uh another thing that we dosometimes is we'll watch a movie
um or we'll watch like a TVshow.
Like um, we'll watch the bakingshows.
(13:35):
New Face likes the baking shows,so we'll watch the baking show
sometime, or sometimes we'lljust sit down and we'll read, or
we'll watch NationalGeographics.
Everything out theextraordinary, we're gonna do.
Be like, you watching yes, weall we like to learn around here
because we'll see something onNational NetGo and we'll be
like, Oh, well, maybe we need togo see that, or maybe we need to
go do that.
(13:56):
Always fun, it is never a dullmoment in this house.
I mean, not never, like we beserious sometime, but 99% of the
time, it's all shits andgiggles.
But that one percent, you know,we be we be a little serious,
you know, here and there.
Um, but more times than likelybecause I want my kids to have
(14:19):
like a nice fun environment.
I don't want it to be, I don'twant it to feel like a boot
camp, I don't want it to feellike Uber strict, I don't want
it to feel like they can't havea childhood.
I don't want it to feel likeuptight, I want it to be nice
and warm and welcoming andwhatever makes them feel
(14:42):
comfortable within a certainlimit.
But my kids don't do nothingextreme.
The most extreme thing they gotgoing right now, when you turn
the lights on in the hallway, uhthey change colors before they
turn the white.
That is the most extreme thing,and they just get a kick.
And I think it's been like thatfor like since COVID.
COVID purchase, and we changeall the lights in the hallway,
up and down the hallway.
(15:03):
So when you turn the light on,it flicks through all the colors
before it turns white.
Gotta let kids be kids.
It's within reason.
You you you only get onechildhood, and I want to ensure
that um my kids have the mostamazingness childhood.
Be like mom made sure we neverdid the same thing over and
(15:24):
over.
We good.
Like we got to explore, we gotto do stuff.
Um I remember when we got ourpool built, it was done in
February, and although we had aheater on it, the heater didn't
get the heater, it wasn't on andit wasn't heating the pool
enough.
So, as cold as it was inFebruary, we all just took a
plunge because we were superexcited that the pool was done.
(15:46):
So we do like little stuff likethat.
We'll do little dares uh uh inthe pool because it has lights,
so we can do stuff at night.
We just have so much random fun.
Like I said, we never plan ourfun, the fun just finds us, and
we're like, oh, okay, like,yeah, like we can do this, we
can roll with it.
So much fun.
(16:06):
I think it turns out way, way,way better.
Like, we'll pay like a cup pong,or just the list goes on and on
and on.
We make up stuff to do.
I remember one time I had themhave cups and they had to blow
it off the edge of the table,and it was like just silly stuff
like that.
(16:27):
Um, I mean, you just gotta havefun um with your kids,
especially during the schoolyear because they're already in
school, they're testing, and youknow, they have homework.
I know it's like um fall testingseason.
Newface had the PSAT this week.
I think he says he had somelittle other tests going, they
have the benchmark test.
So if I can make things a littlebit easier and a little less
(16:51):
uptight, I try my best uh to dothat just to ensure things is
good and things are smooth.
And like I said, it helps me toobecause I like being funny, I
like being silly, and I likelaughing with the kids.
So anytime that I can hang withthem and they make them laugh
and then they make me laugh,it's a very good day uh for me.
(17:14):
Um, we do have a time where,well, during dinner, I don't
allow cell phones, like noelectronics during dinner.
Like we need to sit down, weneed to talk to each other.
Like I said, we usually watchJeopardy or different other
little stuff, but typically it'sa no-tech zone unless like we're
eating and then like the weatheris bad or something like that,
(17:36):
and we're like keeping up withthe weather.
But other than that, dinner timeis a no phone time.
Um, but you know, if we justhanging out on the couch, we're
watching movies, watching TV,then you know, by all means, uh,
New Face only gets phone time onthe weekends.
Um, he doesn't get it during theweek because he has practice and
(17:57):
he has homework, and so we wantto make sure we're prioritizing
homework and he's not gettingdistracted by other things.
Um, a couple things that I'veseen people do um to help stay
on track and to make sure thatthey are spending time with
their family and they're gettinggood family time is putting it
(18:17):
on your calendar.
It sounds silly, but a lot ofpeople are visual and they look
at the calendar, they're like,oh, okay, like we have family
time scheduled for tomorrow, andwe're going to see a movie.
Simple as that.
I have a calendar in my room andI write it down so the kids can
easily come in there and seewhat's on the calendar if we
have something on the calendarto do or etc.
(18:42):
Um, like I said, I focus onbeing present.
I try to make sure I am aspresent as possible.
And if I if New Face startstalking, I feel like he's gonna
be a while, and he interrupts meduring my personal time.
I'll put my phone down because Iplay my little game, I'll put my
phone or my tablet down and I'lllisten to him because I want him
(19:03):
to be heard, I don't want him tofeel like he's just talking and
I'm not listening.
I want him to feel heard, so Imake sure that I am present.
Um, I'm not perfect, not by anystretch of imagination, I'm not
perfect, but I do want him to beheard and I am make sure that I
am very present and aware.
(19:25):
Just like when he goes to swimpractice, I am there, I am
present, I am aware.
So every time he finishesswimming or he gets from one end
to the next, he always looksover at me.
And when he looks up, I alwaysensure that we lock eyes so that
he knows that mom is present,mom is here.
(19:46):
One thing, this one I need topractice more because I don't do
it enough.
I don't give myself enough gracewhen it comes to parenting.
I feel like everything's gottabe dressed right dress,
everything's gotta be in tip toporder.
I don't like, I don't likeunstructured.
And even though I don't likeunstructured, I gotta be able to
give myself grace becausealthough I want to have a family
(20:09):
time, extravagant family timeevery weekend, I know that
that's not possible.
And I need to give myself alittle bit of grace because
every week is different, not allweeks are the same.
Gotta give myself grace becauseit's okay to be tired.
If I don't have any energy togive, how can I give energy to
them and having fun and engagingwith them?
I can't if I'm if if I'm tired.
(20:32):
So I make sure that I ampresent, I make sure that I am
resting, and I make sure that Ican give them my undivided full
attention during our family timeand whatever activity we may or
may not be doing.
Last but not least, you can'tmake this up.
(20:58):
So for my you can't make thisup, new face is learning how to
drive.
And his car had to get the carthat he's gonna get had to get
clean because the dog pooped inthe car.
So I let him drive my car, Ihave a bins, I let him drive my
car and I take him over to thelittle neighborhood.
(21:18):
And I was like, okay, he's doinggood.
So the first day he did reallywell, and I was like, oh my God,
he's catching on real quick.
So the second day we go outthere, and I was like, All
right, do the same thing you didyesterday because you did so
good.
Now, this boy drives my car, soI gotta be present.
And I people be like, Oh my god,you are so patient.
How do you do it?
(21:39):
I said, I have God and Geico, soI'm gonna be good.
So he was going, he was turning,and then all of a sudden, my boy
drifted in the bends through acorner.
I'm like, What are you doing?
And then he was like, What youmean?
And then when he said, What youmean, he took his hands off the
(22:00):
wheel by pushing the gas.
He said, What you mean?
We done drifted over.
Now they don't have any houses,so it's just like a curbeless
street, and then there's like alittle mound of dirt.
My boy didn't drift it all.
I was like, and I had to grabthe wheel, and I was like, I had
to swing that thing back.
I said, He's like, What?
I was like, first of all, Jesusis not taking the wheel, so put
(22:21):
your hands back on the wheel.
Let's slow down, let's reset.
I looked at my watch, I don'tunderstand how my heart rate
wasn't up.
My heart rate was like 72.
I was like, it feels like it'son 172.
Because the body, do youunderstand what just happened?
Because I know what happened.
Do you not understand whathappened?
(22:42):
So um, I said I need to make hisdrive and him learning how to
drive.
I need to make that into a likea miniature vlog or something,
because baby, it ain't for theweek.
And he's like, Mom, can I drivesuch and such?
Can such and such drive with me?
And I'll be like, and then I'llbe like, You gotta go ask them.
I ain't speaking for nobodybecause I don't know if they
want this stress today, like,but go ahead.
(23:04):
You can't use my car, you gottause their car, but go ahead.
Run along.
Um, so that is my you can't makethis story up.
That is my story for the week.
So just remember, you know, whenit comes to parenting and
spending time during the schoolyear, even the small moments add
up because four quarters stillequal a dollar, correct?
(23:28):
All right, so it's the smallthings, you gotta take it piece
by piece by piece.
You don't eat a pizza whole, youeat it slice by slice.
So just the small things, um,they add up.
And yeah, so that's that's myappearance episode for the week.
Yay! And remember, if you havenot already, please make sure
(23:49):
you are liking, sharing, andsubscribing.
Please make sure you arefollowing us on YouTube at the
gag is pod.
And that is the same handle onInstagram as well and on TikTok,
The Gag is Pod.
Make sure you're liking it sothat every um on your favorite
podcast and out so that everytime a new episode is released,
you'll be one of the first toget it.
Episodes in the video form arereleased on Saturday.
(24:13):
So make sure you, after youlisten to this, you go over
there on Saturday and you watchthis in the flesh so you can see
me and I can see you.
And yeah, until next time, I amyour girl Charlie Shantae.
This is the Gag is Pod.
Bye guys.
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