What happens when the very system designed to heal you becomes the source of your deepest trauma? Sarah Trueb's life changed forever when, at just 39 years old, she suffered a stroke after years of medication mismanagement and medical dismissal. Once a successful massage therapist helping others heal, Sarah found herself fighting for her own survival against a healthcare system determined to label her physical symptoms as "all in her head."
Sarah's journey began with seeking help for PTSD following a family trauma. Instead of appropriate trauma care, she was immediately diagnosed with bipolar disorder and prescribed lithium—the first in a cascade of 33 different medications that would wreak havoc on her body and brain over the next several years. Despite showing clear signs of medication sensitivity and developing increasingly severe neurological symptoms, healthcare providers continued to view her through a purely psychiatric lens.
The most chilling aspect of Sarah's story is how her stroke warning signs—numbness, facial drooping, and slurred speech—were dismissed as "stress" or "anxiety" by medical staff. Even after suffering a stroke while under medical supervision, Sarah faced continued skepticism, being prematurely discharged from rehabilitation and labeled with "conversion disorder," a diagnosis suggesting her symptoms were psychologically rather than physically based.
Today, Sarah lives with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), a complex condition affecting over 300,000 Americans that disrupts how the brain and body communicate. Her symptoms include chronic pain, seizures, vision problems, movement disorders, and more. Despite these debilitating physical symptoms, she continues to be accused of "faking" when seeking medical care.
Sarah's powerful testimony serves as a warning about the dangers of medical gaslighting and the deadly consequences of siloed healthcare thinking. Her advocacy for the TRUBE Act aims to create systemic change and prevent others from suffering a similar fate. This episode forces us to confront an uncomfortable truth: sometimes the most dangerous place for a vulnerable patient is inside the very system meant to provide healing.
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Dr. Teralyn:
Therapist Jenn:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Therapist Jenn (00:02):
Well, hey everybody, you may have been
gaslit into accepting unethicalpractices from your trusted
healthcare system.
We are your whistleblowingshrinks, dr Teralyn and
therapist Jen, and you havelanded on the Gaslit Truth
Podcast, and today we've got aspecial guest that's here for us
, sarah Troube.
Welcome to the show, sarah.
Hey guys, I said your last nameright.
(00:25):
Good day, we got this.
If any of you are watchingYouTube right now, terry looks a
little crisp.
Dr. Teralyn (00:33):
Like a moth to the flame.
I said the flame.
Therapist Jenn (00:37):
Hey look how you brought the flame pun in.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, I like thatright.
It's pretty flame on, okay, allright, everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I likethat right.
It's pretty flame on, okay, allright, everybody.
We've got Sarah here.
I'm going to introduce her.
Once upon a time, everyone,sarah was a successful
alternative healthcareprofessional in a career that
she really loved, and she washelping others heal through
medical and manual massagetherapy and was enjoying life.
(00:58):
And in August of 2023, thatworld was altered when she had a
stroke and her dominant sidewas affected by paralysis, which
was brought on by a healthcaresystem's unethical practices of
gaslighting, abuse, neglect andcorruption.
She was later diagnosed withFND, which is functional
neurological disorder, which isa rare and complex form of PTSD.
(01:20):
Fnd disrupts how the brain andthe body communicate, and they
affect the nervous system'sability to send and receive
signals.
And some fun facts hereaccording to the?
U of Birmingham, alabama, over300,000 Americans live with FND.
Her symptoms include chronicpain, sensory issues, vision
problems, slurred speech,stroke-like episodes, tard
dyskinesia, anxiety, tremors,spasms, panic attacks, blackouts
(01:43):
and more.
There's no cure for this, andthe future is uncertain for her.
So, despite these challenges,though, sarah is determined to
share her story, to raiseawareness, to debunk the
misconceptions and advocate foranyone else who has FND to bring
hope and understanding to thepeople that are affected.
Sarah, welcome to the show.
Sarah Trueb (02:03):
Hey, I bring the whole kitchen sink.
Therapist Jenn (02:06):
Yes, yeah, all of it Shit's rolling downhill
and you got it all and we're atthe bottom of the hill ready to
catch all of it, Like this iswhat's happening.
Sarah Trueb (02:16):
This malpractice, unethical stuff needs to stop
and it's affecting everybody,worldwide, not just me, not
nationwide, it's worldwide.
And so I'm going to go aheadand kind of bring my stuff to
(02:47):
kind of tell my story and kindof go from there.
So I've suffered from PTSDprobably let's see probably
about a decade.
(03:07):
That kind of stemmed from afamily member who attempted
suicide.
I had to, you know, save theirlife basically and call 911, do
(03:29):
the whole shebang with that.
And then I didn't start seekingmental health in probably about
three years, in probably aboutthree years, fight or flight,
you know constant, you knowtriggers and stuff.
(04:06):
I thought I could manage it,you know.
So then I was like I need toseek help.
About that same time I was likeI need to maybe make a change
(04:26):
in my career, do a little lessphysical work, and with medical
massage therapy you deal withpeople's pain and mental.
So I thought I don't reallywant to go into school for
chiropractic and I don't want togo in for physical therapy.
(04:47):
That's usually the youngergeneration, um, cause about that
time I was um 35 ish somewherearound there and I was like I
need to slow down.
So I thought it was a good ideato go back to school for
(05:12):
psychology and that's your firstmistake right there.
Therapist Jenn (05:19):
I know, man, we got.
We understand.
Yeah, where were you guys?
You know know what, back thenwe didn't get.
We were in school, probably wewouldn't have been able to help
you, then like that took us awhile open a can of worms.
Sarah Trueb (05:43):
Um, yeah, um.
But I also went back to schoolbecause I wanted to be like my
mom, who was a psychology doublemajor in psychology and
teaching and I love kids but youknow, teaching I don't want to
(06:09):
be a teacher either.
And then another family memberof mine was going to the same
school for nurse practitionerschool for nurse practitioner,
(06:31):
and so I think about that timewe were going to probably
graduate about the same time andI thought it was cool because
my siblings are 15, 13, and 8years age gap and so I thought
it was a good idea to graduatefrom the same school, because
(06:52):
I've never had that experience,obviously.
So it started out with ourlocal mental health psych
(07:12):
hospital and they had theprograms and so I was like, okay
, outpatient, let's try this.
I was more or less expectingjust group therapy, talking to
(07:39):
other local people about theirproblems, and then you know,
with you know that it's kind ofa bio, psycho, social thing my
(08:10):
family member that attemptedwent to this place back in 2015.
So I was like, okay, let's go.
And instantly they wanted toput me on lithium.
I want to say lithium, and thenvisceral.
Dr. Teralyn (08:35):
Do you remember?
I'm just curious do youremember how you were presenting
at that time that lithium wasthe offer for you?
What did they see in you If youwouldn't mind?
Yeah, sharing that.
Sarah Trueb (08:52):
Bipolar disorder.
Um anxiety.
Um, I don't think they even sawthe PTSD, even though it was
like written.
Dr. Teralyn (09:08):
That's why you were there.
Therapist Jenn (09:09):
Right, right.
Sarah Trueb (09:11):
Okay, so that, and then.
Therapist Jenn (09:19):
Did you start Sarah?
Did you start that?
Did you start taking thelithium?
Sarah Trueb (09:22):
Yeah, and instant I the visceral, the I think it
was more the visceral I feltsuicidal.
Okay, I was like I literallywas wrapped in a sheet and I was
(09:46):
like, okay, you know, thisgroup therapy is tomorrow and I
got to make it to tomorrow.
I even, you know, called crisiscenter and I was like I feel
(10:15):
like bugs are crawling.
It was, it was horrible, um,and so I saw the nurse
practitioner and, um, I don'tknow how we got into the.
I kind of knew that I washypersensitive to medication
because, you know, birth control, um, opioids, it didn't matter.
(10:37):
Um, those were the two mainthings that, looking back, that
I noticed that I was having, youknow, reactions to medication.
But even before that, lookingway back, when I was first
(11:02):
diagnosed with epilepsy, I wasalso put on Paxil and then
before that, I had been takingAdderall for about four years.
I was first dealing withpsychiatric not to this extent
(11:35):
when I was about 10 years old.
So this all started when I waspremenstrual, I started my
period, little did I know that Ihad a septate uterus and all
(11:55):
these rare malformation andstuff like that.
Dr. Teralyn (12:01):
So none of this stuff was uncovered for you, it
was all just deemedpsychological, with a pill as
the response attention in school.
Sarah Trueb (12:11):
She's, you know, sleeping in class.
So then that there was no IEP,there was no.
(12:31):
Basically your teacher set allthe kids with the learning
disabilities and then they would, you know, schedule time to,
you know, work with us, but webasically sat on out to the side
(12:53):
and we were all recommended tobe on Adderall and psych drugs,
and so we're sitting with thesekids that you know were falling
behind and so so basicallysegregated because we had
(13:22):
learning disabilities or youknow, different things.
Therapist Jenn (13:30):
So if we look at Sarah, which you were just
talking about, just to kind ofwrap this here when you were
taking the medications that youwere talking about previously,
when you were taking thatlithium what year was that?
Where are we timeframe-wise?
Sarah Trueb (13:46):
That was in 2018.
Therapist Jenn (13:49):
18.
Okay, all right, so between 18and then 2023, which is when you
had your stroke.
Okay, yep, fill us in on thatgap.
Give us the version of that.
What was going on during thattime that led up to this stroke?
Your truth with that.
Sarah Trueb (14:11):
Yeah, I was in and out of the same mental hospital
in 2018.
I tried it and then, once youwere done with the seven to 10
(14:32):
day treatment, they kept, youknow, know, trying different
things.
And then all of a sudden, well,we're gonna have to discharge
you because we can't seem tofigure out you know medications.
And so I basically got shovedunder the rug because you know,
(14:57):
oh, you go to this otherfacility and talk to a therapist
, and so that kind of got lostand insurance was an issue as
well.
(15:18):
And then they finally decidedto just keep me on Trilopitol,
which was.
I've been on Trilopitol since1999 when it first came out for
the seizures and I was like,okay, cool, you know, I've got
(15:43):
bipolar, which runs in ourfamily, and then I feel safe to
take trileptal.
But here's the thing when I wason trileptal, originally it was
the name brand.
Well, now with insurance,medicaid, now you can only
(16:15):
access the generic and I noticeda difference in you know these,
the two drugs, the coloring,and then that ventured in.
Okay, I don't notice anydifference.
This is starting to make mespin out and have these anxiety
(16:41):
attacks.
And then I was having troublegetting a psychiatrist outside
of this hospital, getting youknow second opinion, basically,
and then, because I am onMedicaid and then I didn't have
(17:11):
the money to fork over, you know$300 or more for private.
You know psychiatrists, so 21,.
That was for kind of adifferent purpose, but they kept
(17:32):
pushing medications, and Ithink that was the time that I
was on um Seroquel, which mademe have the side effects of
blood pressure.
Therapist Jenn (17:52):
Seroquel.
So so now you're psychotic, nowyeah.
Dr. Teralyn (18:01):
Nothing to see here , or just suddenly psychotic.
Therapist Jenn (18:06):
No reason, though, there's no reason, and
still taking the other drug atthe same time, the Triloptole,
the generic form.
Okay, so you've gotpolypharmacy being stacked here
on you, different drugs beinggiven to you.
Sarah Trueb (18:24):
And then I've literally taken about 33 that
I'm very severely interactive to33 different drugs Since
probably about 2018.
But even a little bit beforethat.
But that was a long long timeago, Sure.
Therapist Jenn (18:51):
So do you?
I'm wondering because you'remaking your way through your
timeline.
So now we're in like 2021, 2022we're getting closer to when
this stroke occurred.
Sarah Trueb (19:04):
Okay, and then, uh, 2019, I was on another.
Trilactal was always stillgoing to be a thing because of
(19:27):
the seizures.
And then they, I literally Iwent to this other psych
hospital because, unfortunately,I attempted and I literally was
(19:49):
there for like about seven toten days, which is the average,
and I literally saw sevendifferent doctors and how it all
, they put me on the fullmaximum dose of Trilopetal,
(20:11):
which sounds like they weretrying to chemically restrain
you, so that you wouldn't hurtyourself.
Therapist Jenn (20:20):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking Were you
actively having seizures.
No, I wasn't Okay.
I just want to clarify that,because this is the seizure
medication that you had been onfor many, many, many years, so
they just keep upping the dose.
Sarah Trueb (20:32):
I basically saw the trileptal.
Oh, you need to be on this.
They, they.
I was trying to get them totalk to my neurologist.
Okay, and my neurologist waslike, whatever, you're in a
psych hospital, why are youcalling me?
And then then they wouldn'tcall, it was just, it was just a
(21:04):
mess.
And then they basically, okay,you're discharged.
We can't seem to help you.
Dr. Teralyn (21:14):
Oh, so then you were, of course, labeled
unhelpful, right Like, eventhough the damage was likely
because of all the stacking ofpharmacology, right yeah.
And then the chemicalrestraining.
And then you know, the story isreally interesting in the fact
that you went in for traumalikely PTSD.
(21:37):
You were immediately diagnosedwith bipolar disorder.
So from that point forward, itseems like you were treated as a
hardcore psychiatric patient tothe point of being chemically
restrained and then labeledunhelpful because none of it was
working.
As a matter of fact, if youthink about your story, it was
(21:58):
causing you to be worse andworse and worse, to the point of
trying to take your own life,which is a common thing.
It's a common side effect andI'm going to guess that nobody
ever put that together for youthat this could have been a
result of polypharmacy.
So here we are, working our wayup towards this stroke, and if
you could go ahead and get tothat part of the story, let's
(22:22):
kind of jump ahead a littlemostly thought.
Sarah Trueb (22:25):
I scuffed up my knees.
We didn't really.
The doctors didn't even thinkabout, you know, head trauma,
even though I was just like Imight have some, you know.
But life goes on, yeah.
(23:03):
And then two months later, I'mjust, I'm on this crazy fucked
up roller coaster.
I tried every coping skillknown to man, from going to bed
at 11, to trying to reduce myworkload to you name it.
I tried it.
Um, working out more and poolUm yeah, all all the lifestyle
(23:25):
stuff right.
And uh, that night, um, crazyenough, my therapist my
therapist that I saw probably nomore than a year prior came
down the stairs.
Her daughter was like, oh, whyare you crying?
(23:50):
And my mom helps.
You know with you know peoplethat are sad.
You know with you, know peoplethat are sad.
And this person came down, no,acknowledge, no, like like
message cell phone.
Do you need help?
(24:11):
You know, because obviously shehad her kids and she drove off
and I'm spinning, I'm in thepsychosis.
I don't have any clue how todial 911, nobody to help me at
(24:49):
this point.
So I somehow got to the psychhospital that which is closer to
um than the hospital, and thephone didn't work outside.
It was locked, um cause Godforbid.
It was six o'clock and we haveto lock up the hospital.
That should have been open 24,seven with a receptionist and I
think I stood there for probably20 minutes, got admitted pretty
(25:14):
quick and my blood pressure Iwas trying to get my blood
pressure to stay low as much aspossible.
Three, six hour wait, um, andthen talked to this tech and by
(25:52):
about bedtime my blood pressurewas stupid high, the stroke high
, and that nurse for 45 minutes.
You've been here before you.
You know you need to stopcrying and you know, and I was
(26:14):
like I need to get on my medsfor the day.
I haven't taken it.
Therapist Jenn (26:25):
So you were actively having a stroke during
this time, not yet, not yet.
Sarah Trueb (26:31):
My blood pressure was skyrocketing.
Therapist Jenn (26:34):
It was ramping up, it was getting you there.
Sarah Trueb (26:36):
Okay, pressure was, sky was ramping up, it was
getting you there, okay, and sothis nurse for 45 minutes is
like verbally, mentally abusingme and not you know well, she
was dismissing you as a typicalpsych patient right, yeah,
looking at your record, youdon't have any, yeah you don't
have any health problems.
This is all psych, you're afrequent, you are your record,
(26:58):
yep, yep.
So I was like, fuck this, I'mgonna go to try to lay down, try
to not have a stroke and and Iwish at that point that I could
call, you know, 911.
I didn't think about it untillater.
(27:19):
And then we had a patient thatcaused a that incident on that
(27:41):
patient for why I was having FNDor conversion At that point.
It was just conversion disorderbecause they slammed the doors
(28:04):
and then caused another twopatients PTSD and to have a
seizure and then they sent thosepatients to the hospital.
About Sunday is when they thatstarted the stroke and I was
like they put me on Zyprazodoneand doxepine for sleep and
(28:25):
anxiety and then I was also ontriliptol, totally stripped me
off of Raylar, which I had beenon for about three months prior,
and that with Raylar I wasspinning and having these little
(28:53):
issues where I was like I feellike I'm going to fall.
I feel like I'm going to havethe same symptoms as when I was
on Effexor.
Effexor was back in 2005-ishand so I was having like these
(29:19):
drop feeling, seizure feelings,but I never fell until July Last
, basically was going to lose myjob because I was like I need
to get mental health services orsomething, cause something
ain't right with this.
So back to, so back to.
(29:46):
And then the next day I waslike I'm having numbness in my
fingers, I'm biting my tongue.
And then later that day Istarted noticing my face would
(30:10):
droop.
And I'm sitting there talkingand all of a sudden I stroke out
and they dismissed me again.
Checked my blood pressure,finally, and it was stroke high.
She dismissed me again andshe's like well, maybe you're
(30:35):
stressed out and maybe you needto get some fresh air.
Come back and see me in 45minutes.
And 45 minutes later I had thisstroke and off.
Dr. Teralyn (30:53):
I go.
You had all these leading upsymptoms.
Yeah, was it dismissed as theconversion disorder?
Is that what they weredismissing it as?
Sarah Trueb (31:04):
Yeah, is that what they were?
Dismissing it as yeah, I wentto.
Now, I wasn't diagnosed until Iwent to the rehab Diagnosed
with stroke.
Dr. Teralyn (31:16):
Is that what you're talking?
Sarah Trueb (31:17):
about Diagnosed with conversion disorder.
Therapist Jenn (31:32):
I went to a rehab clinic that did more
unethical and so.
So just to take a pause for asecond sarah, for those of you
that are listening, if you don'tknow too much about what
conversion disorder is I thinkit's a label you don't hear too
much about, but it's essentiallylike um, neurological symptom
disorder is kind of what whatit's called, but it's like it's
coined.
A mental illness, everybodyMental illness where someone
might have physical symptoms.
(31:54):
Somebody like that can't beexplained.
They're saying by like amedical or a neurological basis.
Right, so it's put on somebodyas like a mental illness.
It can cause issues to movement, sensations, things like that.
So they're misdiagnosing,mislabeling here, when there
really truly was a significantamount of neurological problems
(32:16):
occurring and medical conditionsoccurring.
Sarah Trueb (32:19):
Conversion disorder has been outdated in the DM5
book since 2013,.
I do believe.
Therapist Jenn (32:29):
Yeah, and you know what?
It's one of the I don't want tosay a scapegoat diagnosis, but
damn, it's one of the diagnosesyou put on somebody when you are
a provider and you're like, oh,I've looked at everything, it
must be in their head.
Dr. Teralyn (32:41):
It reminds me of fibromyalgia in some way.
Therapist Jenn (32:44):
Yes.
Sarah Trueb (32:45):
Yes, it's basically the new fibromyalgia in some
way.
Yes, yes, it's basically thenew fibromyalgia.
Therapist Jenn (32:50):
So anyways, okay .
So I wanted to just say that,in case people that are
listening don't know what thatis, what that term is.
So here you had some verylegitimate medical conditions
that were occurring, likely as aresult of a misdiagnosis and
polypharmacy, and all kinds ofshit dumped into your body
forever, never, never, in thepresence of healthcare providers
(33:12):
.
And you are there, you are notdoing well, asking for help,
continue to get dismissed, endup having a stroke, and right in
front of them, right, yeah, yes, okay.
Sarah Trueb (33:24):
Yes, and so I get whisked off and then in the
middle of the night I gettransferred, three hours away.
I'm begging, for I spent a weekin the unit for stroke, you
(33:47):
know bird watch.
And then they I was beggingthem for mental health services
because I'm like at this point Iwanted to safely taper off this
medication, to safely taper offthis medication, and the
(34:13):
psychiatrist came in.
He never told me his name.
My doctor for that those threeweeks was like you need to go
(34:34):
back and introduce yourself, andthen they would not give me a
hand splint, they would not giveme a sling.
Um, I didn't get my AFO, whichis the leg brace, until it was a
souvenir.
For you know.
Yay, completing rehab, theygave me somebody else's
(35:04):
medication, had a seizure coded,um, they lied to my sister, who
is my power of attorney, um,and a nurse practitioner at the
sister hospital, um, the sisterhospital, um so, and told him
(35:30):
that I was just having anxiety.
Dr. Teralyn (35:32):
Um, so you have anxiety.
If you just had a stroke, Ithink I would have a little bit
of anxiety too, like that.
To me that makes sense that youwould have some anxiety here.
Um, I keep going in my brain.
I keep going when you're ahammer, everything looks like a
nail.
And so it's like all thesepeople in these psychiatric
(35:53):
spaces are only looking forpsychiatric problems and that's
the siloed view of psychiatryand psychology to not look
outside of the psychological orpsychiatric issues into medical
issues.
And so I just kept thinkinglike, yeah, when you're a
psychiatric hammer, everythinglooks like a psychological nail,
(36:14):
and so they're going to keeppounding the nails and keep
dismissing the actual physicalor physiological issues, which
is what happened to you.
Even after a goddamn stroke,you're still a psychiatric
patient, even though you justhad a stroke.
How old were you when you hadthis stroke?
39.
(36:37):
A 39-year-old woman has astroke.
And you don't expect them to beanxious or depressed or
traumatized or anything like.
To me, that would be a typicalresponse to a stroke.
Sarah Trueb (36:53):
They didn't even tell me until the day before
discharge that, oh, good luck,it's all in your head, or
psychological, basically, andthis is conversion disorder.
But then I'm like, you deniedme of mental health services for
(37:20):
three weeks, for three weeks,and you didn't do any spinal tap
.
And I'm like there.
There's more to this, you knowUm.
Therapist Jenn (37:48):
So so, sarah, cause we've, we've, we've got
only less than 10 minutes here,can we?
I want to ask you a question,because this is kind of like the
bigger picture of what you livewith now.
So you were, you were given adiagnosis a functional
neurological disorder.
That that came okay, you weretelling us as a result of some
of this.
Now, for you, what this lookslike is vision issues and
slurred speech and tardivedyskinesia and anxiety.
(38:11):
What do you live with now?
What does your world look likenow from this Sarah?
Sarah Trueb (38:18):
I still have seizures, the tardive dyskinesia
, slurred speech tics, akathisia, pain.
(38:41):
My pain levels have increasedfrom before all this.
My pain was like three, fourand now it's like six, seven, on
a daily, 24-7.
I'm physically crashing.
Anytime I overexert, um causesan episode, um, you name it,
(39:12):
I've seen it, I've dealt with it.
Um, I've hit my head, I'vefallen Um.
Anytime I talk to medicalprofessionals, now I have
episodes and then I'm carted offto the hospital and then gaslit
(39:35):
and told I'm faking andattention seeking and medication
seeking, and then they scratchtheir heads and I'm like there's
nothing you can do for this, notreatment, no medication, Um,
and you're still all this,despite having a history of
epilepsy, a stroke, all thesethings like you're still a faker
(39:58):
.
Dr. Teralyn (39:59):
You're still a faker, yeah oh man, what does a
person have to be to not be afaker?
My question like what?
What does a person, what does aperson have to be to not be a
faker?
Is my question what actuallyhas to happen?
The things that happen to yourbrain, the two big ones epilepsy
, stroke those are the twobiggest things that we think
(40:20):
about happening to someone'sbrain and you're still labeled
as an attention seeker, eventhough those are like the worst
things that could happen tosomebody who's a TBI.
That would be the other one,but I mean, a stroke is a TBI,
so anyway, insurance is denyingme mental health, um, and
physical therapy and accordingto their guidelines, Um.
Sarah Trueb (40:45):
So that conversion disorder is still on my record
and I think it's the worst thingon your record right now.
Dr. Teralyn (40:55):
That is the worst thing on your record, yep.
Therapist Jenn (40:58):
And yet, here and here we have functional like
synthetic, synthetic braininjury, after synthetic brain
injury, after synthetic braininjury, thirty-three drugs that
likely caused more brain injury.
Sarah Trueb (41:15):
And genetic testing is not foolproof.
No, I'm glad you said that,sarah, thank you for saying that
because we get arguments onthis all the time with people
but with black box and havinggenetic testing done gives me
(41:39):
that power of informed consent.
Now, now I am, I think there'sI forget how 19 medications.
There's only three that I knowof, and I am taking um and I'm
(42:06):
tapering off because I just wantto be off of everything Of
those three I'm already.
Then insurance once means.
Dr. Teralyn (42:34):
That's a whole separate episode Sarah we're not
wasting our life talking aboutinsurance.
Therapist Jenn (42:39):
No.
Sarah Trueb (43:17):
After I was discharged from rehab and I was
sent back mobility instantly.
When I got there, I think thePTSD from all this retarded
everything, lost all mobility soI was in a wheelchair again for
14 days, had to urinate in mywheelchair but at discharge.
(43:39):
In order to be discharged I hadto ambulate Right so I can go
to the homeless shelter.
I lost my apartment.
My career is just down thetubes.
I haven't been able to work fortwo years now, after 20 years,
(44:10):
my strength is basically lost.
But when I got in that van I hada seizure and then they wanted
me to do the same thing at thehomeless shelter.
Luckily somebody had commonsense to get a wheelchair and so
(44:36):
I didn't have to do that.
But yeah, they were going tothe van to be discharged.
And then, not only that, they,they were like scurrying around
(44:59):
trying to figure out what to dowith me because the homeless
shelter was like oh, this is aliability, this is you know all
the legal stuff, um, which I get, and, uh, I am thankful for
them.
Um, they helped me um,transition back to the hospital
(45:25):
and got me with another rehab,got my mobility back in order.
But that was just unnecessary,for why force somebody to
(45:51):
ambulate?
And then they were going totell me oh, we made a mistake
discharging you.
You have the option to go tothe homeless shelter or you have
the option to come back in withus.
And I'm like bull fuck yeah.
Therapist Jenn (46:21):
So, Sarah, for people who are listening to this
here, what do you want, what'syour message that you want
people to know and I know that'sa hard thing to say here as we
wrap up and to try to put itinto, like you know, a Reader's
Digest version, because there'sa lot to this story but what do
you, what's your message topeople, Sarah?
What do you want people to takeaway from this?
Sarah Trueb (46:45):
You.
You have to rememberrealistically.
You see psychiatrists for oneunit, which is more than likely
seven and a half minutes, but ifyou are lucky, 15 to 22 minutes
.
When you are a health careprovider who accepts insurance.
(47:10):
Most likely they are watchingthe clock and, like as a massage
therapist, I worked at a joband we had a point person that
would go around scratching onthe door, yep.
But if you saw this doctor onetime a month to manage these
(47:36):
drugs, that is only 90 minutesto probably three hours annually
.
So do your math.
So do your math.
If it doesn't make sense, ifyour math ain't math in with
this, it's not worth your time.
Dr. Teralyn (47:59):
Go find something else to do, go find another
second opinion and to me and Ijust because we need to wrap up
today's episode.
Unfortunately, um, I think thisis another episode on, uh,
(48:20):
regaining your agency.
Um it, because it appears thatso much is, um, so much of
ourselves is given up tosomebody else to make decisions
for, to tell us what to do, totell us where to go, to tell us
what's real in our lives, totell us what's not real in our
lives.
(48:40):
Regaining the sense of self andunderstanding that you also
have a lot of knowledge.
You're literally the only onewho has knowledge about what's
going on in your own body.
You can describe those thingsto not take.
The dismissal of this is apsychiatric issue, and a
(49:03):
psychiatric issue only when.
I think you knew better.
I think you absolutely knewthat it wasn't, but nobody was
there to listen.
And so if you're a providerlistening to this episode, this
is an exercise in listening.
This is an exercise invalidating lived experience,
listening and digging furtherthan just being a psychological
(49:27):
hammer finding a name.
Sarah Trueb (49:29):
One more thing I am trying to make a petition bill
on changeorg, the TRUBE Act, andthat is going to change.
I want this to change becausethis shouldn't have ever, ever,
(49:52):
ever happened and it leads intosuicide and death, premature
death, and I want a change tohappen.
I'm doing this in memory of mymother, who was a psychology,
and she would be justflabbergasted at what happened
(50:16):
to me, and so I want change.
If we're going to make uh,healthcare, you know great again
, let's do it, let's do it theright way, yeah, um well, thank
you.
Therapist Jenn (50:35):
Thank you for coming on the show, sarah.
Thank you for sharing yourstory with us.
Um, it's it's.
It's been an honor to have youon here, and I know it's not the
easiest thing in the world tosit here for an hour even and do
this, and you're doing it.
So thank you for being here.
For those of you if you made itto the end, you've been
listening to the Gaslit Truthpodcast.
If you would like to send usyour Gaslit Truth stories, you
(50:57):
can do that atthegaslittruthpodcast at
gmailcom.
You can also find us anywherethat you listen to podcasts and
we are on all the socials.
Give us the five stars, let usknow what you think of the show,
and thank you again, sarah, forcoming on.
Dr. Teralyn (51:09):
You're welcome.
I want to add one more thing toour listeners.
Please head on over tochangeorg and support the TRUE
Act.
True, true.
Sorry, t-r-u-e-b is how it'sspelled, correct?
Okay, so when you're lookingfor it, that's how it's spelled.
So, changeorg, thanks for beinghere.
Well, hey everybody, you may have been
gaslit into accepting unethicalpractices from your trusted
healthcare system.
We are your whistleblowingshrinks, dr Teralyn and
therapist Jen, and you havelanded on the Gaslit Truth
Podcast, and today we've got aspecial guest that's here for us
, sarah Troube.
Welcome to the show, sarah.
Hey guys, I said your last nameright.
(00:25):
Good day, we got this.
If any of you are watchingYouTube right now, terry looks a
little crisp.
Dr. Teralyn (00:33):
Like a moth to the flame.
I said the flame.
Therapist Jenn (00:37):
Hey look how you brought the flame pun in.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, I like thatright.
It's pretty flame on, okay, allright, everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I likethat right.
It's pretty flame on, okay, allright, everybody.
We've got Sarah here.
I'm going to introduce her.
Once upon a time, everyone,sarah was a successful
alternative healthcareprofessional in a career that
she really loved, and she washelping others heal through
medical and manual massagetherapy and was enjoying life.
(00:58):
And in August of 2023, thatworld was altered when she had a
stroke and her dominant sidewas affected by paralysis, which
was brought on by a healthcaresystem's unethical practices of
gaslighting, abuse, neglect andcorruption.
She was later diagnosed withFND, which is functional
neurological disorder, which isa rare and complex form of PTSD.
(01:20):
Fnd disrupts how the brain andthe body communicate, and they
affect the nervous system'sability to send and receive
signals.
And some fun facts hereaccording to the?
U of Birmingham, alabama, over300,000 Americans live with FND.
Her symptoms include chronicpain, sensory issues, vision
problems, slurred speech,stroke-like episodes, tard
dyskinesia, anxiety, tremors,spasms, panic attacks, blackouts
(01:43):
and more.
There's no cure for this, andthe future is uncertain for her.
So, despite these challenges,though, sarah is determined to
share her story, to raiseawareness, to debunk the
misconceptions and advocate foranyone else who has FND to bring
hope and understanding to thepeople that are affected.
Sarah, welcome to the show.
Sarah Trueb (02:03):
Hey, I bring the whole kitchen sink.
Therapist Jenn (02:06):
Yes, yeah, all of it Shit's rolling downhill
and you got it all and we're atthe bottom of the hill ready to
catch all of it, Like this iswhat's happening.
Sarah Trueb (02:16):
This malpractice, unethical stuff needs to stop
and it's affecting everybody,worldwide, not just me, not
nationwide, it's worldwide.
And so I'm going to go aheadand kind of bring my stuff to
(02:47):
kind of tell my story and kindof go from there.
So I've suffered from PTSDprobably let's see probably
about a decade.
(03:07):
That kind of stemmed from afamily member who attempted
suicide.
I had to, you know, save theirlife basically and call 911, do
(03:29):
the whole shebang with that.
And then I didn't start seekingmental health in probably about
three years, in probably aboutthree years, fight or flight,
you know constant, you knowtriggers and stuff.
(04:06):
I thought I could manage it,you know.
So then I was like I need toseek help.
About that same time I was likeI need to maybe make a change
(04:26):
in my career, do a little lessphysical work, and with medical
massage therapy you deal withpeople's pain and mental.
So I thought I don't reallywant to go into school for
chiropractic and I don't want togo in for physical therapy.
(04:47):
That's usually the youngergeneration, um, cause about that
time I was um 35 ish somewherearound there and I was like I
need to slow down.
So I thought it was a good ideato go back to school for
(05:12):
psychology and that's your firstmistake right there.
Therapist Jenn (05:19):
I know, man, we got.
We understand.
Yeah, where were you guys?
You know know what, back thenwe didn't get.
We were in school, probably wewouldn't have been able to help
you, then like that took us awhile open a can of worms.
Sarah Trueb (05:43):
Um, yeah, um.
But I also went back to schoolbecause I wanted to be like my
mom, who was a psychology doublemajor in psychology and
teaching and I love kids but youknow, teaching I don't want to
(06:09):
be a teacher either.
And then another family memberof mine was going to the same
school for nurse practitionerschool for nurse practitioner,
(06:31):
and so I think about that timewe were going to probably
graduate about the same time andI thought it was cool because
my siblings are 15, 13, and 8years age gap and so I thought
it was a good idea to graduatefrom the same school, because
(06:52):
I've never had that experience,obviously.
So it started out with ourlocal mental health psych
(07:12):
hospital and they had theprograms and so I was like, okay
, outpatient, let's try this.
I was more or less expectingjust group therapy, talking to
(07:39):
other local people about theirproblems, and then you know,
with you know that it's kind ofa bio, psycho, social thing my
(08:10):
family member that attemptedwent to this place back in 2015.
So I was like, okay, let's go.
And instantly they wanted toput me on lithium.
I want to say lithium, and thenvisceral.
Dr. Teralyn (08:35):
Do you remember?
I'm just curious do youremember how you were presenting
at that time that lithium wasthe offer for you?
What did they see in you If youwouldn't mind?
Yeah, sharing that.
Sarah Trueb (08:52):
Bipolar disorder.
Um anxiety.
Um, I don't think they even sawthe PTSD, even though it was
like written.
Dr. Teralyn (09:08):
That's why you were there.
Therapist Jenn (09:09):
Right, right.
Sarah Trueb (09:11):
Okay, so that, and then.
Therapist Jenn (09:19):
Did you start Sarah?
Did you start that?
Did you start taking thelithium?
Sarah Trueb (09:22):
Yeah, and instant I the visceral, the I think it
was more the visceral I feltsuicidal.
Okay, I was like I literallywas wrapped in a sheet and I was
(09:46):
like, okay, you know, thisgroup therapy is tomorrow and I
got to make it to tomorrow.
I even, you know, called crisiscenter and I was like I feel
(10:15):
like bugs are crawling.
It was, it was horrible, um,and so I saw the nurse
practitioner and, um, I don'tknow how we got into the.
I kind of knew that I washypersensitive to medication
because, you know, birth control, um, opioids, it didn't matter.
(10:37):
Um, those were the two mainthings that, looking back, that
I noticed that I was having, youknow, reactions to medication.
But even before that, lookingway back, when I was first
(11:02):
diagnosed with epilepsy, I wasalso put on Paxil and then
before that, I had been takingAdderall for about four years.
I was first dealing withpsychiatric not to this extent
(11:35):
when I was about 10 years old.
So this all started when I waspremenstrual, I started my
period, little did I know that Ihad a septate uterus and all
(11:55):
these rare malformation andstuff like that.
Dr. Teralyn (12:01):
So none of this stuff was uncovered for you, it
was all just deemedpsychological, with a pill as
the response attention in school.
Sarah Trueb (12:11):
She's, you know, sleeping in class.
So then that there was no IEP,there was no.
(12:31):
Basically your teacher set allthe kids with the learning
disabilities and then they would, you know, schedule time to,
you know, work with us, but webasically sat on out to the side
(12:53):
and we were all recommended tobe on Adderall and psych drugs,
and so we're sitting with thesekids that you know were falling
behind and so so basicallysegregated because we had
(13:22):
learning disabilities or youknow, different things.
Therapist Jenn (13:30):
So if we look at Sarah, which you were just
talking about, just to kind ofwrap this here when you were
taking the medications that youwere talking about previously,
when you were taking thatlithium what year was that?
Where are we timeframe-wise?
Sarah Trueb (13:46):
That was in 2018.
Therapist Jenn (13:49):
18.
Okay, all right, so between 18and then 2023, which is when you
had your stroke.
Okay, yep, fill us in on thatgap.
Give us the version of that.
What was going on during thattime that led up to this stroke?
Your truth with that.
Sarah Trueb (14:11):
Yeah, I was in and out of the same mental hospital
in 2018.
I tried it and then, once youwere done with the seven to 10
(14:32):
day treatment, they kept, youknow, know, trying different
things.
And then all of a sudden, well,we're gonna have to discharge
you because we can't seem tofigure out you know medications.
And so I basically got shovedunder the rug because you know,
(14:57):
oh, you go to this otherfacility and talk to a therapist
, and so that kind of got lostand insurance was an issue as
well.
(15:18):
And then they finally decidedto just keep me on Trilopitol,
which was.
I've been on Trilopitol since1999 when it first came out for
the seizures and I was like,okay, cool, you know, I've got
(15:43):
bipolar, which runs in ourfamily, and then I feel safe to
take trileptal.
But here's the thing when I wason trileptal, originally it was
the name brand.
Well, now with insurance,medicaid, now you can only
(16:15):
access the generic and I noticeda difference in you know these,
the two drugs, the coloring,and then that ventured in.
Okay, I don't notice anydifference.
This is starting to make mespin out and have these anxiety
(16:41):
attacks.
And then I was having troublegetting a psychiatrist outside
of this hospital, getting youknow second opinion, basically,
and then, because I am onMedicaid and then I didn't have
(17:11):
the money to fork over, you know$300 or more for private.
You know psychiatrists, so 21,.
That was for kind of adifferent purpose, but they kept
(17:32):
pushing medications, and Ithink that was the time that I
was on um Seroquel, which mademe have the side effects of
blood pressure.
Therapist Jenn (17:52):
Seroquel.
So so now you're psychotic, nowyeah.
Dr. Teralyn (18:01):
Nothing to see here , or just suddenly psychotic.
Therapist Jenn (18:06):
No reason, though, there's no reason, and
still taking the other drug atthe same time, the Triloptole,
the generic form.
Okay, so you've gotpolypharmacy being stacked here
on you, different drugs beinggiven to you.
Sarah Trueb (18:24):
And then I've literally taken about 33 that
I'm very severely interactive to33 different drugs Since
probably about 2018.
But even a little bit beforethat.
But that was a long long timeago, Sure.
Therapist Jenn (18:51):
So do you?
I'm wondering because you'remaking your way through your
timeline.
So now we're in like 2021, 2022we're getting closer to when
this stroke occurred.
Sarah Trueb (19:04):
Okay, and then, uh, 2019, I was on another.
Trilactal was always stillgoing to be a thing because of
(19:27):
the seizures.
And then they, I literally Iwent to this other psych
hospital because, unfortunately,I attempted and I literally was
(19:49):
there for like about seven toten days, which is the average,
and I literally saw sevendifferent doctors and how it all
, they put me on the fullmaximum dose of Trilopetal,
(20:11):
which sounds like they weretrying to chemically restrain
you, so that you wouldn't hurtyourself.
Therapist Jenn (20:20):
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking Were you
actively having seizures.
No, I wasn't Okay.
I just want to clarify that,because this is the seizure
medication that you had been onfor many, many, many years, so
they just keep upping the dose.
Sarah Trueb (20:32):
I basically saw the trileptal.
Oh, you need to be on this.
They, they.
I was trying to get them totalk to my neurologist.
Okay, and my neurologist waslike, whatever, you're in a
psych hospital, why are youcalling me?
And then then they wouldn'tcall, it was just, it was just a
(21:04):
mess.
And then they basically, okay,you're discharged.
We can't seem to help you.
Dr. Teralyn (21:14):
Oh, so then you were, of course, labeled
unhelpful, right Like, eventhough the damage was likely
because of all the stacking ofpharmacology, right yeah.
And then the chemicalrestraining.
And then you know, the story isreally interesting in the fact
that you went in for traumalikely PTSD.
(21:37):
You were immediately diagnosedwith bipolar disorder.
So from that point forward, itseems like you were treated as a
hardcore psychiatric patient tothe point of being chemically
restrained and then labeledunhelpful because none of it was
working.
As a matter of fact, if youthink about your story, it was
(21:58):
causing you to be worse andworse and worse, to the point of
trying to take your own life,which is a common thing.
It's a common side effect andI'm going to guess that nobody
ever put that together for youthat this could have been a
result of polypharmacy.
So here we are, working our wayup towards this stroke, and if
you could go ahead and get tothat part of the story, let's
(22:22):
kind of jump ahead a littlemostly thought.
Sarah Trueb (22:25):
I scuffed up my knees.
We didn't really.
The doctors didn't even thinkabout, you know, head trauma,
even though I was just like Imight have some, you know.
But life goes on, yeah.
(23:03):
And then two months later, I'mjust, I'm on this crazy fucked
up roller coaster.
I tried every coping skillknown to man, from going to bed
at 11, to trying to reduce myworkload to you name it.
I tried it.
Um, working out more and poolUm yeah, all all the lifestyle
(23:25):
stuff right.
And uh, that night, um, crazyenough, my therapist my
therapist that I saw probably nomore than a year prior came
down the stairs.
Her daughter was like, oh, whyare you crying?
(23:50):
And my mom helps.
You know with you know peoplethat are sad.
You know with you, know peoplethat are sad.
And this person came down, no,acknowledge, no, like like
message cell phone.
Do you need help?
(24:11):
You know, because obviously shehad her kids and she drove off
and I'm spinning, I'm in thepsychosis.
I don't have any clue how todial 911, nobody to help me at
(24:49):
this point.
So I somehow got to the psychhospital that which is closer to
um than the hospital, and thephone didn't work outside.
It was locked, um cause Godforbid.
It was six o'clock and we haveto lock up the hospital.
That should have been open 24,seven with a receptionist and I
think I stood there for probably20 minutes, got admitted pretty
(25:14):
quick and my blood pressure Iwas trying to get my blood
pressure to stay low as much aspossible.
Three, six hour wait, um, andthen talked to this tech and by
(25:52):
about bedtime my blood pressurewas stupid high, the stroke high
, and that nurse for 45 minutes.
You've been here before you.
You know you need to stopcrying and you know, and I was
(26:14):
like I need to get on my medsfor the day.
I haven't taken it.
Therapist Jenn (26:25):
So you were actively having a stroke during
this time, not yet, not yet.
Sarah Trueb (26:31):
My blood pressure was skyrocketing.
Therapist Jenn (26:34):
It was ramping up, it was getting you there.
Sarah Trueb (26:36):
Okay, pressure was, sky was ramping up, it was
getting you there, okay, and sothis nurse for 45 minutes is
like verbally, mentally abusingme and not you know well, she
was dismissing you as a typicalpsych patient right, yeah,
looking at your record, youdon't have any, yeah you don't
have any health problems.
This is all psych, you're afrequent, you are your record,
(26:58):
yep, yep.
So I was like, fuck this, I'mgonna go to try to lay down, try
to not have a stroke and and Iwish at that point that I could
call, you know, 911.
I didn't think about it untillater.
(27:19):
And then we had a patient thatcaused a that incident on that
(27:41):
patient for why I was having FNDor conversion At that point.
It was just conversion disorderbecause they slammed the doors
(28:04):
and then caused another twopatients PTSD and to have a
seizure and then they sent thosepatients to the hospital.
About Sunday is when they thatstarted the stroke and I was
like they put me on Zyprazodoneand doxepine for sleep and
(28:25):
anxiety and then I was also ontriliptol, totally stripped me
off of Raylar, which I had beenon for about three months prior,
and that with Raylar I wasspinning and having these little
(28:53):
issues where I was like I feellike I'm going to fall.
I feel like I'm going to havethe same symptoms as when I was
on Effexor.
Effexor was back in 2005-ishand so I was having like these
(29:19):
drop feeling, seizure feelings,but I never fell until July Last
, basically was going to lose myjob because I was like I need
to get mental health services orsomething, cause something
ain't right with this.
So back to, so back to.
(29:46):
And then the next day I waslike I'm having numbness in my
fingers, I'm biting my tongue.
And then later that day Istarted noticing my face would
(30:10):
droop.
And I'm sitting there talkingand all of a sudden I stroke out
and they dismissed me again.
Checked my blood pressure,finally, and it was stroke high.
She dismissed me again andshe's like well, maybe you're
(30:35):
stressed out and maybe you needto get some fresh air.
Come back and see me in 45minutes.
And 45 minutes later I had thisstroke and off.
Dr. Teralyn (30:53):
I go.
You had all these leading upsymptoms.
Yeah, was it dismissed as theconversion disorder?
Is that what they weredismissing it as?
Sarah Trueb (31:04):
Yeah, is that what they were?
Dismissing it as yeah, I wentto.
Now, I wasn't diagnosed until Iwent to the rehab Diagnosed
with stroke.
Dr. Teralyn (31:16):
Is that what you're talking?
Sarah Trueb (31:17):
about Diagnosed with conversion disorder.
Therapist Jenn (31:32):
I went to a rehab clinic that did more
unethical and so.
So just to take a pause for asecond sarah, for those of you
that are listening, if you don'tknow too much about what
conversion disorder is I thinkit's a label you don't hear too
much about, but it's essentiallylike um, neurological symptom
disorder is kind of what whatit's called, but it's like it's
coined.
A mental illness, everybodyMental illness where someone
might have physical symptoms.
(31:54):
Somebody like that can't beexplained.
They're saying by like amedical or a neurological basis.
Right, so it's put on somebodyas like a mental illness.
It can cause issues to movement, sensations, things like that.
So they're misdiagnosing,mislabeling here, when there
really truly was a significantamount of neurological problems
(32:16):
occurring and medical conditionsoccurring.
Sarah Trueb (32:19):
Conversion disorder has been outdated in the DM5
book since 2013,.
I do believe.
Therapist Jenn (32:29):
Yeah, and you know what?
It's one of the I don't want tosay a scapegoat diagnosis, but
damn, it's one of the diagnosesyou put on somebody when you are
a provider and you're like, oh,I've looked at everything, it
must be in their head.
Dr. Teralyn (32:41):
It reminds me of fibromyalgia in some way.
Therapist Jenn (32:44):
Yes.
Sarah Trueb (32:45):
Yes, it's basically the new fibromyalgia in some
way.
Yes, yes, it's basically thenew fibromyalgia.
Therapist Jenn (32:50):
So anyways, okay .
So I wanted to just say that,in case people that are
listening don't know what thatis, what that term is.
So here you had some verylegitimate medical conditions
that were occurring, likely as aresult of a misdiagnosis and
polypharmacy, and all kinds ofshit dumped into your body
forever, never, never, in thepresence of healthcare providers
(33:12):
.
And you are there, you are notdoing well, asking for help,
continue to get dismissed, endup having a stroke, and right in
front of them, right, yeah, yes, okay.
Sarah Trueb (33:24):
Yes, and so I get whisked off and then in the
middle of the night I gettransferred, three hours away.
I'm begging, for I spent a weekin the unit for stroke, you
(33:47):
know bird watch.
And then they I was beggingthem for mental health services
because I'm like at this point Iwanted to safely taper off this
medication, to safely taper offthis medication, and the
(34:13):
psychiatrist came in.
He never told me his name.
My doctor for that those threeweeks was like you need to go
(34:34):
back and introduce yourself, andthen they would not give me a
hand splint, they would not giveme a sling.
Um, I didn't get my AFO, whichis the leg brace, until it was a
souvenir.
For you know.
Yay, completing rehab, theygave me somebody else's
(35:04):
medication, had a seizure coded,um, they lied to my sister, who
is my power of attorney, um,and a nurse practitioner at the
sister hospital, um, the sisterhospital, um so, and told him
(35:30):
that I was just having anxiety.
Dr. Teralyn (35:32):
Um, so you have anxiety.
If you just had a stroke, Ithink I would have a little bit
of anxiety too, like that.
To me that makes sense that youwould have some anxiety here.
Um, I keep going in my brain.
I keep going when you're ahammer, everything looks like a
nail.
And so it's like all thesepeople in these psychiatric
(35:53):
spaces are only looking forpsychiatric problems and that's
the siloed view of psychiatryand psychology to not look
outside of the psychological orpsychiatric issues into medical
issues.
And so I just kept thinkinglike, yeah, when you're a
psychiatric hammer, everythinglooks like a psychological nail,
(36:14):
and so they're going to keeppounding the nails and keep
dismissing the actual physicalor physiological issues, which
is what happened to you.
Even after a goddamn stroke,you're still a psychiatric
patient, even though you justhad a stroke.
How old were you when you hadthis stroke?
39.
(36:37):
A 39-year-old woman has astroke.
And you don't expect them to beanxious or depressed or
traumatized or anything like.
To me, that would be a typicalresponse to a stroke.
Sarah Trueb (36:53):
They didn't even tell me until the day before
discharge that, oh, good luck,it's all in your head, or
psychological, basically, andthis is conversion disorder.
But then I'm like, you deniedme of mental health services for
(37:20):
three weeks, for three weeks,and you didn't do any spinal tap
.
And I'm like there.
There's more to this, you knowUm.
Therapist Jenn (37:48):
So so, sarah, cause we've, we've, we've got
only less than 10 minutes here,can we?
I want to ask you a question,because this is kind of like the
bigger picture of what you livewith now.
So you were, you were given adiagnosis a functional
neurological disorder.
That that came okay, you weretelling us as a result of some
of this.
Now, for you, what this lookslike is vision issues and
slurred speech and tardivedyskinesia and anxiety.
(38:11):
What do you live with now?
What does your world look likenow from this Sarah?
Sarah Trueb (38:18):
I still have seizures, the tardive dyskinesia
, slurred speech tics, akathisia, pain.
(38:41):
My pain levels have increasedfrom before all this.
My pain was like three, fourand now it's like six, seven, on
a daily, 24-7.
I'm physically crashing.
Anytime I overexert, um causesan episode, um, you name it,
(39:12):
I've seen it, I've dealt with it.
Um, I've hit my head, I'vefallen Um.
Anytime I talk to medicalprofessionals, now I have
episodes and then I'm carted offto the hospital and then gaslit
(39:35):
and told I'm faking andattention seeking and medication
seeking, and then they scratchtheir heads and I'm like there's
nothing you can do for this, notreatment, no medication, Um,
and you're still all this,despite having a history of
epilepsy, a stroke, all thesethings like you're still a faker
(39:58):
.
Dr. Teralyn (39:59):
You're still a faker, yeah oh man, what does a
person have to be to not be afaker?
My question like what?
What does a person, what does aperson have to be to not be a
faker?
Is my question what actuallyhas to happen?
The things that happen to yourbrain, the two big ones epilepsy
, stroke those are the twobiggest things that we think
(40:20):
about happening to someone'sbrain and you're still labeled
as an attention seeker, eventhough those are like the worst
things that could happen tosomebody who's a TBI.
That would be the other one,but I mean, a stroke is a TBI,
so anyway, insurance is denyingme mental health, um, and
physical therapy and accordingto their guidelines, Um.
Sarah Trueb (40:45):
So that conversion disorder is still on my record
and I think it's the worst thingon your record right now.
Dr. Teralyn (40:55):
That is the worst thing on your record, yep.
Therapist Jenn (40:58):
And yet, here and here we have functional like
synthetic, synthetic braininjury, after synthetic brain
injury, after synthetic braininjury, thirty-three drugs that
likely caused more brain injury.
Sarah Trueb (41:15):
And genetic testing is not foolproof.
No, I'm glad you said that,sarah, thank you for saying that
because we get arguments onthis all the time with people
but with black box and havinggenetic testing done gives me
(41:39):
that power of informed consent.
Now, now I am, I think there'sI forget how 19 medications.
There's only three that I knowof, and I am taking um and I'm
(42:06):
tapering off because I just wantto be off of everything Of
those three I'm already.
Then insurance once means.
Dr. Teralyn (42:34):
That's a whole separate episode Sarah we're not
wasting our life talking aboutinsurance.
Therapist Jenn (42:39):
No.
Sarah Trueb (43:17):
After I was discharged from rehab and I was
sent back mobility instantly.
When I got there, I think thePTSD from all this retarded
everything, lost all mobility soI was in a wheelchair again for
14 days, had to urinate in mywheelchair but at discharge.
(43:39):
In order to be discharged I hadto ambulate Right so I can go
to the homeless shelter.
I lost my apartment.
My career is just down thetubes.
I haven't been able to work fortwo years now, after 20 years,
(44:10):
my strength is basically lost.
But when I got in that van I hada seizure and then they wanted
me to do the same thing at thehomeless shelter.
Luckily somebody had commonsense to get a wheelchair and so
(44:36):
I didn't have to do that.
But yeah, they were going tothe van to be discharged.
And then, not only that, they,they were like scurrying around
(44:59):
trying to figure out what to dowith me because the homeless
shelter was like oh, this is aliability, this is you know all
the legal stuff, um, which I get, and, uh, I am thankful for
them.
Um, they helped me um,transition back to the hospital
(45:25):
and got me with another rehab,got my mobility back in order.
But that was just unnecessary,for why force somebody to
(45:51):
ambulate?
And then they were going totell me oh, we made a mistake
discharging you.
You have the option to go tothe homeless shelter or you have
the option to come back in withus.
And I'm like bull fuck yeah.
Therapist Jenn (46:21):
So, Sarah, for people who are listening to this
here, what do you want, what'syour message that you want
people to know and I know that'sa hard thing to say here as we
wrap up and to try to put itinto, like you know, a Reader's
Digest version, because there'sa lot to this story but what do
you, what's your message topeople, Sarah?
What do you want people to takeaway from this?
Sarah Trueb (46:45):
You.
You have to rememberrealistically.
You see psychiatrists for oneunit, which is more than likely
seven and a half minutes, but ifyou are lucky, 15 to 22 minutes
.
When you are a health careprovider who accepts insurance.
(47:10):
Most likely they are watchingthe clock and, like as a massage
therapist, I worked at a joband we had a point person that
would go around scratching onthe door, yep.
But if you saw this doctor onetime a month to manage these
(47:36):
drugs, that is only 90 minutesto probably three hours annually
.
So do your math.
So do your math.
If it doesn't make sense, ifyour math ain't math in with
this, it's not worth your time.
Dr. Teralyn (47:59):
Go find something else to do, go find another
second opinion and to me and Ijust because we need to wrap up
today's episode.
Unfortunately, um, I think thisis another episode on, uh,
(48:20):
regaining your agency.
Um it, because it appears thatso much is, um, so much of
ourselves is given up tosomebody else to make decisions
for, to tell us what to do, totell us where to go, to tell us
what's real in our lives, totell us what's not real in our
lives.
(48:40):
Regaining the sense of self andunderstanding that you also
have a lot of knowledge.
You're literally the only onewho has knowledge about what's
going on in your own body.
You can describe those thingsto not take.
The dismissal of this is apsychiatric issue, and a
(49:03):
psychiatric issue only when.
I think you knew better.
I think you absolutely knewthat it wasn't, but nobody was
there to listen.
And so if you're a providerlistening to this episode, this
is an exercise in listening.
This is an exercise invalidating lived experience,
listening and digging furtherthan just being a psychological
(49:27):
hammer finding a name.
Sarah Trueb (49:29):
One more thing I am trying to make a petition bill
on changeorg, the TRUBE Act, andthat is going to change.
I want this to change becausethis shouldn't have ever, ever,
(49:52):
ever happened and it leads intosuicide and death, premature
death, and I want a change tohappen.
I'm doing this in memory of mymother, who was a psychology,
and she would be justflabbergasted at what happened
(50:16):
to me, and so I want change.
If we're going to make uh,healthcare, you know great again
, let's do it, let's do it theright way, yeah, um well, thank
you.
Therapist Jenn (50:35):
Thank you for coming on the show, sarah.
Thank you for sharing yourstory with us.
Um, it's it's.
It's been an honor to have youon here, and I know it's not the
easiest thing in the world tosit here for an hour even and do
this, and you're doing it.
So thank you for being here.
For those of you if you made itto the end, you've been
listening to the Gaslit Truthpodcast.
If you would like to send usyour Gaslit Truth stories, you
(50:57):
can do that atthegaslittruthpodcast at
gmailcom.
You can also find us anywherethat you listen to podcasts and
we are on all the socials.
Give us the five stars, let usknow what you think of the show,
and thank you again, sarah, forcoming on.
Dr. Teralyn (51:09):
You're welcome.
I want to add one more thing toour listeners.
Please head on over tochangeorg and support the TRUE
Act.
True, true.
Sorry, t-r-u-e-b is how it'sspelled, correct?
Okay, so when you're lookingfor it, that's how it's spelled.
So, changeorg, thanks for beinghere.
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