October 28, 2024 • 42 mins
It’s the spooky season, and Bunny and Scot are back with the Pumpkin Wheel of Majesty! From pondering death and cracking open mortuary school stories to debating the weirdest trick-or-treat handouts (seriously, who hands out pennies?), this Halloween special is packed with haunting humor, creepy confessions, and hair-raising memories of childhood Halloweens past.
Plus, the ultimate question: Are you keeping the candy corn, or trading it for chocolate? Grab your pillowcase and get ready for a ghostly good time!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Generation X. In general terms, it was born between 1965 and 1980. Lachkinite. Independent.
(00:15):
Existentialism. Modern philosophy focusing on personal experience, human ability and
responsibility in an otherwise meaningless universe. We're the cause. This is the effect.
We're the Gen X existentialists.
(00:39):
Welcome in to the Spooky Existentialists. My name is Scott. And I'm Bunny. And this is the Halloween edition of the Gen X
existentialist podcast. How you doing, Bunny? Happy Halloween, everybody. I'm doing great.
Happy Halloween. It's so spooky. And because it's Halloween, we have a special wheel. That's true. Full of Halloweeny questions.
(01:01):
Yeah. Some of our listeners contributed questions. We got a few online just from around the globe.
And we got a decent amount there to spin. So it's not Megawheel this time. It's Pumpkin Wheel or whatever.
It is the pumpkin wheel. We will call it the pumpkin wheel of majesty. And we will give it a spin.
(01:23):
And I love the jack-o-lantern in the center because when it spins, it just kind of goes all spirally in topsy-turvy.
Yes. Very spooky. Okay. So our first question. What a great way to start the Halloween episode.
How often, Bunny, do you think about death? Probably once an hour.
(01:44):
Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.
No, I'm with you. I tend to think about death more than you would expect someone to. But I always have.
I've always been fascinated by mortality and how we deal with death and how we reason through our sentient existence
(02:07):
and make our way through things. I know a lot of people fall into theology and other ways of dealing with our imminent demise.
Because, to quote one of my favorite Iron Maiden songs, as soon as you're born, you're dying.
We are all on that downward slope. We are all going to die at some point.
(02:30):
Happy Halloween, folks.
Happy Halloween. And how often do you think of death? I think the more you are familiar with where things are going to go,
I think it helps guide your path and the things that you do.
I think that works for some people. For me, I'm still scared of death.
(02:51):
After all I've seen and all I've been through, I'm still scared of it.
Scared or just uncertain? Is it actually fear?
I think it is fear, unfortunately. It used to just be a sadness.
There used to be a sadness around it, the idea of death, before I started working in a mortuary college.
(03:16):
I spent probably close to ten years working as a librarian and tech guru guy at a mortuary college.
I saw my fair share of horrible things there. After that, really, I think about it and it's downright frightening to me.
I sincerely wish that I could be filled with the light of Christ or Buddha or Allah or whatever your religion is out there
(03:50):
that helps to give you that salve, that balm to keep you from fearing death, to make it feel like it's a joyous celebration that you're going home.
You're going to be with family members and all that. I sincerely hope that's the case.
I've tried to explain this before, it's not so much the death that scares me, it's the suffering leading up to death that scares me.
(04:15):
Yeah, that's what really scares me. And that I completely understand and agree with.
If death was just like, oh, you turn on a light switch one day, you turn it off the next and you fall over dead,
it wouldn't be near as scary as the slow march toward it is. That's really what I fear.
(04:38):
And to a certain extent, as Gen X, we're in that mode right now. Sure, we've got people dropping right and left.
People are dropping, but we can look back and remember how it felt to be 20 and 30, where physically things are in much better state.
In our 50s now, things are starting to not work as well. I hurt my back last night sleeping too hard.
(05:04):
Yeah, I mean stuff like that. So we can see off in the distance, okay, the pains I've got today, I know how long it took me to get here.
In another 20 years, it's going to be amplified to a point where I'm going to be popping Advil like they're candy and things like that.
So yeah, the physical suffering aspect, I agree, is quite frightening.
(05:28):
The only thing that really scares me about the act of being dead per se is the thought that you may come back, not as a zombie, but as a reincarnation.
Nothing could be more terrifying to me than be reincarnated. I have no interest in coming back.
It depends on how. And by the way, you talk about zombies. I saw it was either a meme or something online within the last week where a mortician said that every corpse, she ties their shoelaces together.
(06:04):
So that if they are zombies, they'll come out and trip all over themselves.
That sounds like a woman who's got a lot of foresight going on.
Yeah, I mean, I read that and I just was like, that's awesome.
That's pretty sneaky. I like it.
Hey, let's help everybody out real quick. This is going to be an extended Halloween episode.
So let's take just a moment. Because of your experience in the mortuary industry, and I know this too, when a casket is buried, it's not just, and this is for everybody listening, zombie fans out there.
(06:39):
The corpses are in a casket, which is locked and that casket is hopefully a casket is in a concrete or some other material vault.
Yeah, they call it a concrete vault with a concrete lid. Yeah, laid on top of it.
And they do that so that the ground doesn't sink. It's this is all about preserving the cemetery, not so much preserving your loved one.
(07:02):
They say it's to protect your loved one, but it's really there to keep the ground from sinking in.
If you're ever in a cemetery and you see an area where it's sunken in by a head or a footstone, it's because the vault gave way.
The vault either gave way or there wasn't one. There's a lot of older cemeteries that never even did that. They just buried the casket straight at the ground.
And even a metal casket will, I mean, the amount of pressure that you're putting on any object that's buried that far in the ground is hundreds and hundreds of foot pounds.
(07:32):
Yeah. Yeah. I can tell you just from like trench collapses and stuff.
And I've got it written on a note upstairs in the wall of what was my old office. Dirt weighs a lot, folks.
So the entire idea of bodies climbing up out of the ground is so absurd.
And I know, you know, suspension of disbelief and all that. But man, seriously, no. Come on.
(07:59):
I'll be perfectly honest. When you are embalmed, let's say if you go the embalming route, if you're not Jewish or some other religion that doesn't believe in the whole embalming process,
what they do is not only do they remove all your blood, of course, and replace it with formaldehyde or some other preservative, cancer causing liquid or whatever.
(08:21):
You don't care. You're dead. They they glue your mouth shut. They will staple your teeth shut with a looks like a large staple gun that has kind of plastic staples.
But they drive it into your gums and they they staple your teeth shut and then they glue your lips shut.
(08:43):
And that way you don't have that sort of caved in look in your mouth, you know, especially if you're a denture wearer or something or you've been in some sort of traumatic accident.
They glue your eyelids shut with super glue. Do they do you keep your eyes or do they replace your eyes with no, no, you keep your eyes unless you've donated.
OK. And even when you donate, it's usually you're donating corneas and all that. You're not donating your whole eyeball.
(09:07):
Although there are some cases, some dental colleges and stuff will request heads.
So I hate to say it, but if you are a person or your loved one is a person who has donated their body to science and the noble cause of being a good person,
sometimes they will cut your head off and send your disembodied head to places like dental colleges and that so that they can work on real teeth, real teeth. Yeah.
(09:37):
That's that's a sick fact that they don't really tell you about. And the way they remove the head is with a hacksaw.
It's it's alarming to see. I walked in on that at one point when I had to go into the morgue for some various reason. I walked in on three people struggling to hold a corpse up in a sitting position.
One person with a hacksaw and the other person holding the person's head twisted and they're just sawing away.
(10:03):
And it was like every horrible terrorist video that you've ever seen of someone getting their head cut off.
If you if you watch things like that. Yeah, it's that only a lot worse because the sounds are there and there's just it's a surreal thing to see.
And this is probably why I'm scared of death. It's post-traumatic stress disorder.
Not because it's like, oh, I'm scared to death of looking at stuff like that.
(10:26):
But I think if you see enough of that kind of fucked up stuff, it's sort of it stains your brain.
So you're stuck with it. You're not used to it. And it's one of those things where for you, having seen it so much over those years at the mortuary school for any police officer, fireman, EMT, doctors, soldiers, nurses, soldiers, OSHA compliance officers.
(10:52):
You know, in my time, I was only on one scene where a decedent was actually still on site, but I can still picture it very vividly in my head what the decedent looked like.
Yeah, because I was taking pictures of the scene. I was documenting everything that happened.
It was an electrocution and it was horrifying. Yeah. But that kind of stuff sticks with you.
(11:14):
And it makes it back to the original question that started this. It makes you think about death more and more, which I tend to think is a good thing.
But, you know, different opinions. Yeah, I don't think I think I would be much happier if I just thought about what I was going to eat for dinner tonight and where I was going to go on my vacation and what I'm going to watch this evening.
(11:41):
Yeah, then every hour thinking about God, what am I going to do? You know, when my wife dies, if she dies before me, what am I going to do when my friends die before me if that happens? What's going to happen if I die before them?
You know, what's, you know, think it's just, you know, they had that meme online where they were like, how many times does man think about Rome?
(12:02):
The great the great city of Rome, basically the ancient Rome. And that's once a day for me. But yeah, but you know, it's kind of a joke like that.
I think if you've seen a lot of terrible things and like you said, all those professions are jobs where you see those things and you can part mentalize this stuff, you know, you tuck it away.
Sometimes you talk about it much to the chagrin of your friends and loved ones. You know, maybe you got a therapist to talk to it about. I don't know. But there's there's that sort of thing that it kind of dampens your soul a little bit.
(12:37):
Yeah, it puts a little bit of a mute on it. Yeah. And it's not great. So if you can avoid situations like that, by all means, just enjoy yourself and watch these smurfs.
And if you're in a situation like that, if you're in a job like that, talk to people. Yeah. You know, find a group. It may not be your your family. It may be coworkers.
(12:59):
That was one thing that that we did when I was with OSHA. There was always somebody else there in the office that you could talk to about the case, about what you had seen.
Why do you think VA buildings are still so populated in that they're not just hanging out, enjoying the fact that they were all in service together? Yeah. They're talking about the experience of being in the services together.
(13:20):
And it's it's a way of it's a support system. Yeah. So that's that's a thing. So let's get back to Halloween. Let's give Halloween the Halloween wheel of majesty.
Let's do another another spin here and see what we can come up with. And our second topic on this episode of the GenX existentialist podcast, the Halloween edition is what is the weirdest thing that neighbors handed out at Halloween when you were a kid?
(13:49):
OK, thankfully, I lived on a road. I lived on a no outlet road. Yeah. So there wasn't a ton of people on it and everyone sort of knew the neighborhood kids. Yeah. And 90 percent of the the neighbors were very, very, very good to the neighborhood kids.
We all got full sized candy bars or something special, you know, and the treats. Now, there was one person that always handed out a roll of pennies, which I thought was interesting.
(14:19):
I mean, I'm Capricorn says all about the money. I was like, sure. You can throw in a couple of dimes. It's all good. Yeah. That was sort of weird.
That was probably the weirdest thing, really. I think I didn't live on a road where the full of dentists and doctors and idiots that would hand out like dental floss. Eat shit.
Halloween, baby. Give me a break. I don't remember anything weird aside from the occasional toss of coins. Occasionally a couple quarters, things like that.
(14:49):
But, you know, the subdivision that I grew up in, Scott grew up in a sprawling subdivision. It was amazing. And our goal, our goal there every Halloween was to hit every street to hit every house in the subdivision.
And there were a couple of times. I'm pretty darn sure we did. Wow. I mean, we started as soon as the bell rang and we were going.
How many bags did you have to fill up? Did you stop and drop off a bag or? No, because it was usually people just gave out like a piece per.
(15:17):
If you come to our house on Halloween, you're getting a handful because we don't have a lot of kids.
They all do really well in their costumes. Everybody around here where I'm living now is pretty creative.
So everybody gets a handful. So that's awesome. But as a kid, it was just like a piece and we never got a ton.
You would fill a pillowcase like an extra long pillowcase. Nice. And for me, being diabetic, I gave most of it away.
(15:44):
I mean, I wasn't going to eat it. It was just the fun of going out, dressing up and doing stuff.
But there were always rumors every year because you would talk to people like kids coming the other way,
friends that you knew that were in walking with a different group.
And there would be tales of somebody on this street that was giving out Star Wars figures or somebody on this street that was giving out full sized candy bars.
(16:11):
And so it became part of the quest to find that house. And that house never existed.
It was like the worst D&D campaign where this magical sword that you're trying to get.
And it turns out it was down this one alley in the one town that you went through that you didn't even stop to talk to anybody.
Sure. It's the white stag. You know, it's the whole it's that hunter's dream. And that's what keeps you going.
(16:34):
Yeah, exactly. That's good. So, you know, I still remember a couple of us like walking back to our houses because it was usually a group of us that lived around each other right there.
And just talking about that, like I didn't get any full sized candy bars. Yeah, I didn't either.
Who told us about that and trying to decipher where we had been led astray and where our entire evening had gone astray.
(17:00):
It's like you ignore the fact you've got a bag full of candy. We didn't get one full sized. Come on.
You know, but that's those are the kind of memories that are great memories. Yeah.
The whole idea of like that one the white whale. Yeah. You know, out in the neighborhood.
We didn't get it this year. What about next? Exactly. That's the kind of stuff that keeps you going.
(17:22):
Yeah. And I did try to convince my mom and dad once to get boxes of full sized candy bars and give those out and be that house.
You have way too many kids in that neighborhood. It would cost you a fortune.
Like our small neighborhood where I grew up was probably close to 60 houses, maybe even if that. Yeah. Maybe closer to 40.
(17:45):
I don't know. So yeah, it's a little more sustainable. There were hundreds and hundreds of kids. Yeah, that's crazy.
I always fantasized about trick or treating with you guys and your crazy stuff. Why didn't you ever come over?
I think it was because I was either handing out candy at our house or I was out trick or treating.
You know, it was and it was seeing the same old familiar faces of only time I saw some neighbors.
(18:11):
Sure. Like some elderly neighbors and that, especially like at the bottom of the street. Yeah.
The only time I ever really got to see them because they never came outside. Yeah.
So it was it was an event, you know, because the neighborhoods sort of knew each other relatively well. Right. Yeah.
That was it. So we will give our Halloween wheel of questions another spin here on the Gen X existentialist podcast.
(18:34):
I do love the jack-o-lantern in the center. I think we should keep that henceforth. I just dig it.
OK, what was your strategy for getting the most candy while trick or treating?
Well, I'd say a strategy that all kids should use. Scott already mentioned use a pillowcase.
Don't don't get tricked into one of these like, oh, the drugstore is giving out free plastic bags that are reflective or McDonald's is given out free plastic bags that are reflective.
(19:01):
They're too small. I mean, if you live in unless you live in like a tiny apartment and that's where you that's where you trick or treat is the apartment building.
But if you live in a neighborhood of any size, take a regular size pillowcase or a extra large pillowcase with you.
So you don't have to drop off and you don't have to.
There's no chance of the bottom ripping out usually and all your candy goes falling out.
(19:25):
That would be my strategy and hit it early. Don't be afraid of going out when it's not dark. Yeah.
And just do your thing. Yeah. Keep going.
I think you hit all the keys right there. And here's the thing. It's kind of an athletic event. You're going to be walking comfortable shoes.
Yeah. Plan your costume ahead. Look at the weather report. If it's going to be hot, dress down something that doesn't take a lot of it's going to be cold.
(19:50):
Dress up a little bit. You don't want to be out there in your Jedi robes if it's still like 80 freaking degrees when things start out.
If Halloween of trick or treating in your area is from six to eight at five forty five.
Be ready at the end of your driveway. Have your team ready. Everybody's there.
Clock hit six. You are at the first house and you are going and you're going until eight o'clock.
(20:17):
It hits eight o'clock. You stop. And that's when you walk back home. Do the entire two hours.
Extra long pillowcase is the way to go. You can wrap it up, throw it over your shoulder like Santa Claus bag.
But the little things like you said, like the little jack-o-lantern, little plastic and stuff. Those those don't hold nearly enough.
(20:38):
You are going out to collect candy. You're going out to try to collect enough candy to last you through the holidays if you can.
And it's possible. It's possible. Here's another trick for you kids.
When you're walking home at eight o'clock or nine o'clock whenever your Halloween ends, you know, take it leisurely.
Wander home. If you see people still out in their driveway, like people that are still kind of late to take their stuff in and you're really friendly with them.
(21:07):
They'll just pour the rest of the bowl into your bag to get rid of it because they don't want to bring it inside because they don't want to eat the candy.
They've got kids who are already trick or treating. They're diabetic. Something's up. They don't want to have that temptation in their house.
And that's, you know, I still enjoy the days where we move.
Now we don't have trick or treaters, unfortunately, but the place we live just prior, we had hundreds of them.
(21:33):
And I always enjoyed those young teens, tweens or whatever that were out really late at night.
And we're we're packing up shop and there's always one couple that's still, you know, trying to catch up because they couldn't get out in time or they had to eat dinner or whatever.
And they show up and I just pour the rest of the bowl into their bags and they crap their, yeah, their Halloween pants.
(21:54):
You know, it's it's a great experience for them and they'll never remember me.
They'll never remember the house where it came from, but they'll remember the thrill. Yes.
Of getting half of their bag filled with candy at the first stop. Yeah.
Because they just they hit it at the right time. And that could be you kids. Exactly. And always say thank you. Of course.
It's a little thing, but it can mean a lot. Yeah. Or say happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Trick or treat.
(22:20):
You know, do do the stuff that's expected. Yeah. Do the ritual. Yeah, absolutely.
We will give our Halloween wheel another spin here. And as we're winding down, winding down, I like the colors you put on this, too.
Very festive. So our next Halloween special question is if you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which one would you choose?
(22:52):
Protagonist in any horror movie? Well, I probably would not choose a horror movie franchise when there is a series because you know what happens to the protagonist at the next movie, they always get whacked. Yeah.
I don't know. I would probably choose something like a Hellraiser movie. That's where I was going to go. Yeah. Like a Hellraiser or maybe a Jaws.
(23:15):
Do you think Jaws was a horror movie? Absolutely. It was a horror movie. Really? Yeah. Do you know how many kids it scared away from the beach and adults it scared away from the beach just by existing?
I always thought of it as just a drama. That scene where the little kid gets eaten. Yeah. Holy moly. That was, at the time, that was terrifying to people.
It was visceral and freaked them out. When I was a little kid, I got scared to go to the beach because of the movie Blood Beach, which is not a very well known movie, but it's a movie about a monster that lives underground and it sucks people down through the sand.
(23:48):
So when you make noise, you know, you're walking on the beach and you're by yourself, all of a sudden your foot goes in the sand and you can't get out and then it starts eating you alive from the feet down and pulling you into the sand.
And then you just disappear and people are like, oh, where is everybody going? They went out for a walk on the beach tonight and they never came home.
So you're looking for a serial killer, but it's really some sort of crazy monster underground. Yeah. That freaked me out as a little kid.
(24:13):
So I would say something. I'd probably still go for a Hellraiser though, I think. Okay. I like my chances better in that.
I will jump out of Hellraiser then since you took that one and I will go with protagonist in any horror movie. And this is one that you might not consider a horror movie. Again, more of a psycho drama, but I would pick Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.
(24:42):
Well, you're not a protagonist. You're an antagonist in that. He's the bad guy, right?
It all depends on your point of view. That's the whole thing. Now you've got to pick a protagonist. I'm not going to let you off that easy.
Because if I could just be a serial killer, I'd pick a different movie too. But yeah, you've got to be the good guy or good girl in a film.
(25:06):
Yeah, but that's never fun in horror movies. I was always a big fan of the Scream franchise, at least the first four.
I know they're up to what, like what, seven now? I have no idea. I never paid attention to the Scream franchise. Really? I was not a big fan.
Especially the first one was just absolutely brilliant. Okay. And I think they could have left it at that. Yeah.
(25:33):
But any horror movie that does that well at the theater is going to get franchised out. You're going to keep going with it and keep milking it.
So that would be a choice. Yeah, some good looking chicks in those movies. Oh, God. Yeah. It's always good.
Yeah, I'm a big Neve Campbell fan here. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go with that. All right. Yeah.
(25:55):
So that will put us into our next question. We'll give the wheel another spin here. See what we can whip up here on this Halloween edition.
And happy Halloween to everybody. Yeah. This year, I guess it's on Thursday. Yep. It's coming up. Thursday is the 31st. Coming up this week.
Oh, this is great. This is a great question. All right. Would you rather have to eat a handful of candy corn or a handful of black licorice or three circus peanuts?
(26:28):
I would go with black licorice because I actually like black licorice. So that would be my choice for I mean, anytime.
Give me the black jelly bean. Give me the black licorice. Give me the licorice all sorts. That's just absolutely gross.
I was going to bring over my bag of licorice all sorts for a snack here. My thing is this black licorice is disgusting.
(26:51):
Any other licorice is pretty OK. It's just the black stuff. Now, for me, I'll take a handful of candy corn. I love candy corn. It's great.
And to be honest with you, I will show you the question I threw in the circus peanuts just for you. I'm not a fan of circus peanuts.
It wasn't even part of the question. But so since since we brought it up, I just love hearing you talk about it.
(27:14):
What's the deal with circus peanuts? Circus peanuts are foul.
The fact that it's a peanut and it's that unearthly shade of mellow yellow orange kind of it's almost a melon color.
Yeah, it's like an orange cream sickle color. Yeah. And it tastes like banana. It makes no sense.
(27:35):
It's it's a chimera that shouldn't exist. It's a mutation. I just love it.
So, yeah, I'm not sure how the NECA factory stayed in business as long as they did. Most of the candy they made is absolutely atrocious.
Yeah. Yeah, I can't disagree. They're like NECA wafers are just horrifying.
I guess it's not NECA. It's Spangler is the one that does the circus peanuts. Spangler is up in Ohio. Yeah, they're actually from Ohio.
(28:03):
You know what? Here's the weird thing, though. I can't deal with the black licorice. I like candy corn.
And honestly, circus peanuts, I kind of like the way they taste. OK, I do.
How about the consistency? It's not quite a marshmallow. It's not quite styrofoam. They're better. It's somewhere in between.
Here's the weird thing. Circus peanuts are better if they've been left out in the open air for a day or two and they have solidified a little bit.
(28:30):
If you get fresh ones just out of the bag and they're just they're like a weird wet marshmallow. Yeah, it's it's kind of odd.
I don't know how anything could be kind of so wet marshmallow, but still be so chalky at the same time.
Yes. You always need a drink after you've had it. It's a conundrum.
Let's whip up another question here on our Halloween wheel. Hope everyone has a happy Halloween.
(28:56):
And our next question is, come on, stop spinning.
This is a quick one. Are you afraid of clowns? No.
I actually am. I find clowns to be just disconcerting. I guess I'm not afraid of them. I just find them disconcerting.
(29:18):
Sure. I really like sad clowns. You're an Emmett Kelly fan.
Well, it's one of those things where clowns in and of themselves are far too joyous.
A sad clown is a realistic clown. And I don't mind that.
(29:40):
Yeah, I guess I'm more annoyed by clowns than I am scared of clowns because I'm not scared of them at all. I just find their their capering and their antics a bit annoying.
Yeah. Although I will say some female clowns. I don't know. I got a thing for it.
I can't even imagine. Keep the gown suit on.
(30:01):
Leave the bells on, baby. Keep those big feet on when you're at it. Crazy town.
Should we whip it down with one more? Oh, do a couple more. It's Halloween.
Okay. All right. Spinning the wheel on this Halloween edition of the Gen X existentialist podcast.
Hey, in the comments wherever you're listening to this or send us an email, get in touch.
(30:22):
Tell us about your favorite Halloween. Yeah. And we may talk about it later on on a different episode.
Okay. Well, I know the answer to this one for both of us. Have you ever walked through a graveyard late at night? Sure.
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, why why wouldn't you when we live down in Georgetown?
We lived just like basically part of a block away from Georgetown Cemetery.
(30:48):
And the thing about the cemetery was they closed the gates at the front, but there were entrances at different areas.
And like literally, you could just walk through the bushes down by the elementary school and just walk in and walk.
And it was great. And the cool thing was, as far as I remember, there was never any kind of, you know, stupid stuff that happened.
(31:09):
And yeah, you walk through there late at night. It was just kind of one of those things you did. It was fun.
Yeah. I had a friend back in the high school days named Sally, and that's where me and Sally used to hang out all the time. A St. John's Cemetery.
Yeah. Because there was no gates. Right. So you could just park on a side street and waltz right on in.
We would just hang out there at night and sit around and talk. Yes. Cool. And occasionally see other groups of other groups of people on their talk.
(31:36):
Yeah. Good stuff. OK. Let's do another one. Whipping around the wheel, the Halloween wheel.
And our next question is, come on, would you rather your mom was a witch or your dad was a vampire?
(31:57):
I guess I'd have to go with with probably mom as a witch. Yeah. Because I think you get more benefits from that. Yeah.
As a kid. I mean, unless you want to live forever and be a vampire, I guess, and then you could go with your dad being a vampire.
But I think being a kid whose mom's a witch, you know, she could put those hexes and spells to good use and good love potions, some good fancy stuff going on, some good glamors, you know, be kind of fun to have a mom who's always got your back in the supernatural sense.
(32:27):
Yeah. I always found witchcraft and wizardry to be the more useful or utilitarian thing to have. So I would go with the mom as a witch, too, because being a vampire, there's not a whole lot of benefit to it.
You can hypnotize people. Yeah. But it's more downside than anything. I mean, I can't. I mean, what could you do?
(32:49):
Walk around with a mirror and like, you know, show it to your dad like, where are you, dad? Where are you? And, you know, play silly games like that. Now, I will say this.
If I could turn into a bat and fly away, something like that, like, I guess the bigger thing is mom's a witch, dad's a vampire. Do either of those get passed down to you?
(33:10):
Probably not. Or are you like the girl in the monsters where you're normal? You're Marilyn. Yeah.
If that's the case, I mean, that's just some bullshit. There's nothing good about that.
You'd never be able to sneak in late because your dad's always up all night. Yeah, exactly. And you couldn't make a lot of noise in daytime because your dad's sleeping all day. So it'd be kind of a pain.
(33:31):
Just no fun all the way around. All right. One more question here on the Halloween edition of the Gen X existentialists. Our jack-o-lantern wheel has spun down and our question is in a candy trade war, what candy do you keep no matter what?
(33:52):
And what candy do you get rid of? All right. Well, for me, I always get rid of what I think we said it before, circus peanuts, of course. Yeah. Candy corn. Not a huge fan.
I usually get rid of sweet tarts. Really? Things like that. Yeah. I mean, it's so ubiquitous. Yeah. It's one of those things where how many sweet tarts can you really eat? I mean, you get a million of them. I always get rid of Tootsie Rolls. I hate Tootsie Rolls. Yeah.
(34:20):
Understandable. And Tootsie Pops for that matter because I mean, there's nothing worse than having your lollipop and then find a big old turd in the middle of it.
I think things I always keep, I think, are things most kids keep. I always try to keep the chocolate if I can. Yeah.
Special Dark being my absolute favorite. Although I'll keep a Crackle or a Nestle here and there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't super precious about what candy I kept, but there was a lot of candy. I mean, who wants the orange and black wrapped things?
(34:55):
You know, they're like peanut butter is what they're supposed to taste like. Yeah. Like, or a bit of honey or any of those like teeth pulling. Any of the taffy stuff. Yeah. It's just like.
Because you know it's been sitting around in some drug store, you know, warehouse for decades. Yeah. They bring it out every year hoping they'll get rid of it finally and it just. Yeah. When the wax paper is literally stained and wet from the candy.
(35:19):
Don't eat it. That just means it's been in a hot warehouse for years and hasn't been touched. Yeah. I don't do Laffy Taffys. I don't do any of these Skittles.
Or nuts. Well, I don't like Skittles either. I like Skittles. It's terrible. What was the Starburst? I don't do the Starburst. Starburst. They, I'm pretty sure they make Starburst now that are like Skittles.
(35:42):
So they're softer. You don't have to fight to eat them. I don't know how hard is a rock anymore. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'll keep some things like I'll keep some Jolly Ranchers. Sure. Yeah. Any of the kind of hard candies that you just let dissolve in your mouth. I'm good with that. I like the chocolates.
But I don't do. I mean, I'll deal with a Smarty or a Sweet Tart. You know, Sprees were great. Now nobody gives out Sprees anymore. But yeah, I'm not a big fan of any of that kind of the Tootsie Roll, the chewy stuff.
(36:15):
The only chewy thing that I can abide is the strawberry, the like pink Starburst. Okay. Because that flavor, there's just something about it that is so freaking good. Okay. That it's it's worth putting it in your mouth and letting it warm up and soften so that you can eat it.
(36:36):
All the other flavors aren't really worth that. But, you know, in this case it is. What's your opinion of the fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls that they're trying to pass off now? I've never had one. I'm not interested in them. That just it sounds completely gross. Yeah.
Because it's still got the consistency of a Tootsie Roll. Yeah. It looks like somebody broke off a crayon. Looks like the label off a crayon. It's like, here, eat this periwinkle blue log. No, that's okay.
(37:02):
So the candy I would get rid of is Payday. Sure. The candy bar. Because it's just pointless. They're disgusting. It's awful. And the candy I would keep no matter what is Mounds or Almond Joy. Oh yeah. Mounds are great.
I love the coconut and the chocolate. Those are by far my favorite candy bars. Although like a Nestle Crunch or Crackle, anything with that crispy rice in it is always good too.
(37:30):
Here's a quick candy question for you. Yeah. My alliterative moment. The controversial candy of nerds. What are your feeling on nerds? Why are they controversial? I always have this controversy with friends because they're always like, I love those little boxes of nerds that come in the Halloween candy. I couldn't stand them. Why? They're too sweet. They're the point where it makes you feel sick when you're eating them because they're just... No, they're great. Oh my God.
(37:57):
I remember coming back from a sporting event when I was little and my parents bought me one of those big boxes of nerds. With the two sides? Yeah, with the two sides. Yeah, those are great. And I was like, what is this? Because I'd never had them before and it was just like, bleh. Too sweet.
The best thing to do with nerds is if you eat breakfast cereal for breakfast, whatever cereal you've got, add nerds to it. Oh my God. It's awesome. Is this to turn the milk, whatever color the nerds are? And to add a different... Like if you've got Captain Crunch and you add some pink strawberry nerds to it, that's great stuff.
(38:32):
Captain Crunch is bad enough as it is. This is like Scott, pre-diabetic, would do this. How did he get diabetes, folks? I don't know. It wasn't that. But jeez, I would say that would contribute to it if it weren't. Captain Crunch and nerds, think about that. Oh my God.
It was amazing stuff. And with that, we draw to a close our Halloween episode here on the Gen X Essentialist. Final question. Yes. Your favorite Halloween in a minute or less.
(39:03):
Oh my gosh. My favorite Halloween. There have been so many. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I'd have to say probably... I was in kindergarten and I went as Godzilla. Yeah. And it was just fun. I don't know. It was one of those perfect 70s Halloween's.
(39:26):
Parents were out in the yard to scare the kids. It wasn't exactly freezing. Seems like lately Halloween is always miserable. It's always spitting snow or ice. It's always cold. This was a more temperate Halloween, I remember. And the leaves were perfect. Everything smelled like Halloween.
I got to go to Ben Franklin's and look at... Ben Franklin's was an old Five and Dime store. And look at the giant aisles of boxed plastic masks that used to be out. And I just spend what felt like hours looking at Halloween decorations.
(40:04):
And my parents were young and healthy. And we hung up cardboard Halloween decorations on the windows. It was just good. It was a classic 70s Halloween. How about you?
About the same. It was first grade and it was when after school I walked down and stayed with my grandparents before my parents got off work and could pick me up. And I was a stormtrooper from Star Wars. And my grandfather took me around. This was in Bellevue, Kentucky.
(40:37):
My grandfather took me around. He was a police officer. So everybody in the neighborhood knew him and knew that we were walking around. And here I am, stormtrooper, it's Halloween, walking around with my grandfather in his police uniform.
That's my long-term abiding memory of Halloween is that. Walking around Bellevue.
(41:01):
Nice. I'm sure that was a good neighborhood to trick or treat in.
It was. It really was. It was right down from.
An old suburban neighborhood.
Yeah. Yeah. It was foot avenue and the surrounding area in Bellevue right down from Grandview Elementary. That's where it was. Awesome. Cool. Hey, happy Halloween.
Hey, happy Halloween to you too and all you kids out there. Be safe. Go get some candy for me, would you?
(41:23):
And thank you for listening to the Gen X existentialist on our Halloween podcast. My name is Scott.
And I'm Bunny.
And we'll catch you next time. Have a good one.
(41:59):
Bye.
Generation X. In general terms, it was born between 1965 and 1980. Lachkinite. Independent.
(00:15):
Existentialism. Modern philosophy focusing on personal experience, human ability and
responsibility in an otherwise meaningless universe. We're the cause. This is the effect.
We're the Gen X existentialists.
(00:39):
Welcome in to the Spooky Existentialists. My name is Scott. And I'm Bunny. And this is the Halloween edition of the Gen X
existentialist podcast. How you doing, Bunny? Happy Halloween, everybody. I'm doing great.
Happy Halloween. It's so spooky. And because it's Halloween, we have a special wheel. That's true. Full of Halloweeny questions.
(01:01):
Yeah. Some of our listeners contributed questions. We got a few online just from around the globe.
And we got a decent amount there to spin. So it's not Megawheel this time. It's Pumpkin Wheel or whatever.
It is the pumpkin wheel. We will call it the pumpkin wheel of majesty. And we will give it a spin.
(01:23):
And I love the jack-o-lantern in the center because when it spins, it just kind of goes all spirally in topsy-turvy.
Yes. Very spooky. Okay. So our first question. What a great way to start the Halloween episode.
How often, Bunny, do you think about death? Probably once an hour.
(01:44):
Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.
No, I'm with you. I tend to think about death more than you would expect someone to. But I always have.
I've always been fascinated by mortality and how we deal with death and how we reason through our sentient existence
(02:07):
and make our way through things. I know a lot of people fall into theology and other ways of dealing with our imminent demise.
Because, to quote one of my favorite Iron Maiden songs, as soon as you're born, you're dying.
We are all on that downward slope. We are all going to die at some point.
(02:30):
Happy Halloween, folks.
Happy Halloween. And how often do you think of death? I think the more you are familiar with where things are going to go,
I think it helps guide your path and the things that you do.
I think that works for some people. For me, I'm still scared of death.
(02:51):
After all I've seen and all I've been through, I'm still scared of it.
Scared or just uncertain? Is it actually fear?
I think it is fear, unfortunately. It used to just be a sadness.
There used to be a sadness around it, the idea of death, before I started working in a mortuary college.
(03:16):
I spent probably close to ten years working as a librarian and tech guru guy at a mortuary college.
I saw my fair share of horrible things there. After that, really, I think about it and it's downright frightening to me.
I sincerely wish that I could be filled with the light of Christ or Buddha or Allah or whatever your religion is out there
(03:50):
that helps to give you that salve, that balm to keep you from fearing death, to make it feel like it's a joyous celebration that you're going home.
You're going to be with family members and all that. I sincerely hope that's the case.
I've tried to explain this before, it's not so much the death that scares me, it's the suffering leading up to death that scares me.
(04:15):
Yeah, that's what really scares me. And that I completely understand and agree with.
If death was just like, oh, you turn on a light switch one day, you turn it off the next and you fall over dead,
it wouldn't be near as scary as the slow march toward it is. That's really what I fear.
(04:38):
And to a certain extent, as Gen X, we're in that mode right now. Sure, we've got people dropping right and left.
People are dropping, but we can look back and remember how it felt to be 20 and 30, where physically things are in much better state.
In our 50s now, things are starting to not work as well. I hurt my back last night sleeping too hard.
(05:04):
Yeah, I mean stuff like that. So we can see off in the distance, okay, the pains I've got today, I know how long it took me to get here.
In another 20 years, it's going to be amplified to a point where I'm going to be popping Advil like they're candy and things like that.
So yeah, the physical suffering aspect, I agree, is quite frightening.
(05:28):
The only thing that really scares me about the act of being dead per se is the thought that you may come back, not as a zombie, but as a reincarnation.
Nothing could be more terrifying to me than be reincarnated. I have no interest in coming back.
It depends on how. And by the way, you talk about zombies. I saw it was either a meme or something online within the last week where a mortician said that every corpse, she ties their shoelaces together.
(06:04):
So that if they are zombies, they'll come out and trip all over themselves.
That sounds like a woman who's got a lot of foresight going on.
Yeah, I mean, I read that and I just was like, that's awesome.
That's pretty sneaky. I like it.
Hey, let's help everybody out real quick. This is going to be an extended Halloween episode.
So let's take just a moment. Because of your experience in the mortuary industry, and I know this too, when a casket is buried, it's not just, and this is for everybody listening, zombie fans out there.
(06:39):
The corpses are in a casket, which is locked and that casket is hopefully a casket is in a concrete or some other material vault.
Yeah, they call it a concrete vault with a concrete lid. Yeah, laid on top of it.
And they do that so that the ground doesn't sink. It's this is all about preserving the cemetery, not so much preserving your loved one.
(07:02):
They say it's to protect your loved one, but it's really there to keep the ground from sinking in.
If you're ever in a cemetery and you see an area where it's sunken in by a head or a footstone, it's because the vault gave way.
The vault either gave way or there wasn't one. There's a lot of older cemeteries that never even did that. They just buried the casket straight at the ground.
And even a metal casket will, I mean, the amount of pressure that you're putting on any object that's buried that far in the ground is hundreds and hundreds of foot pounds.
(07:32):
Yeah. Yeah. I can tell you just from like trench collapses and stuff.
And I've got it written on a note upstairs in the wall of what was my old office. Dirt weighs a lot, folks.
So the entire idea of bodies climbing up out of the ground is so absurd.
And I know, you know, suspension of disbelief and all that. But man, seriously, no. Come on.
(07:59):
I'll be perfectly honest. When you are embalmed, let's say if you go the embalming route, if you're not Jewish or some other religion that doesn't believe in the whole embalming process,
what they do is not only do they remove all your blood, of course, and replace it with formaldehyde or some other preservative, cancer causing liquid or whatever.
(08:21):
You don't care. You're dead. They they glue your mouth shut. They will staple your teeth shut with a looks like a large staple gun that has kind of plastic staples.
But they drive it into your gums and they they staple your teeth shut and then they glue your lips shut.
(08:43):
And that way you don't have that sort of caved in look in your mouth, you know, especially if you're a denture wearer or something or you've been in some sort of traumatic accident.
They glue your eyelids shut with super glue. Do they do you keep your eyes or do they replace your eyes with no, no, you keep your eyes unless you've donated.
OK. And even when you donate, it's usually you're donating corneas and all that. You're not donating your whole eyeball.
(09:07):
Although there are some cases, some dental colleges and stuff will request heads.
So I hate to say it, but if you are a person or your loved one is a person who has donated their body to science and the noble cause of being a good person,
sometimes they will cut your head off and send your disembodied head to places like dental colleges and that so that they can work on real teeth, real teeth. Yeah.
(09:37):
That's that's a sick fact that they don't really tell you about. And the way they remove the head is with a hacksaw.
It's it's alarming to see. I walked in on that at one point when I had to go into the morgue for some various reason. I walked in on three people struggling to hold a corpse up in a sitting position.
One person with a hacksaw and the other person holding the person's head twisted and they're just sawing away.
(10:03):
And it was like every horrible terrorist video that you've ever seen of someone getting their head cut off.
If you if you watch things like that. Yeah, it's that only a lot worse because the sounds are there and there's just it's a surreal thing to see.
And this is probably why I'm scared of death. It's post-traumatic stress disorder.
Not because it's like, oh, I'm scared to death of looking at stuff like that.
(10:26):
But I think if you see enough of that kind of fucked up stuff, it's sort of it stains your brain.
So you're stuck with it. You're not used to it. And it's one of those things where for you, having seen it so much over those years at the mortuary school for any police officer, fireman, EMT, doctors, soldiers, nurses, soldiers, OSHA compliance officers.
(10:52):
You know, in my time, I was only on one scene where a decedent was actually still on site, but I can still picture it very vividly in my head what the decedent looked like.
Yeah, because I was taking pictures of the scene. I was documenting everything that happened.
It was an electrocution and it was horrifying. Yeah. But that kind of stuff sticks with you.
(11:14):
And it makes it back to the original question that started this. It makes you think about death more and more, which I tend to think is a good thing.
But, you know, different opinions. Yeah, I don't think I think I would be much happier if I just thought about what I was going to eat for dinner tonight and where I was going to go on my vacation and what I'm going to watch this evening.
(11:41):
Yeah, then every hour thinking about God, what am I going to do? You know, when my wife dies, if she dies before me, what am I going to do when my friends die before me if that happens? What's going to happen if I die before them?
You know, what's, you know, think it's just, you know, they had that meme online where they were like, how many times does man think about Rome?
(12:02):
The great the great city of Rome, basically the ancient Rome. And that's once a day for me. But yeah, but you know, it's kind of a joke like that.
I think if you've seen a lot of terrible things and like you said, all those professions are jobs where you see those things and you can part mentalize this stuff, you know, you tuck it away.
Sometimes you talk about it much to the chagrin of your friends and loved ones. You know, maybe you got a therapist to talk to it about. I don't know. But there's there's that sort of thing that it kind of dampens your soul a little bit.
(12:37):
Yeah, it puts a little bit of a mute on it. Yeah. And it's not great. So if you can avoid situations like that, by all means, just enjoy yourself and watch these smurfs.
And if you're in a situation like that, if you're in a job like that, talk to people. Yeah. You know, find a group. It may not be your your family. It may be coworkers.
(12:59):
That was one thing that that we did when I was with OSHA. There was always somebody else there in the office that you could talk to about the case, about what you had seen.
Why do you think VA buildings are still so populated in that they're not just hanging out, enjoying the fact that they were all in service together? Yeah. They're talking about the experience of being in the services together.
(13:20):
And it's it's a way of it's a support system. Yeah. So that's that's a thing. So let's get back to Halloween. Let's give Halloween the Halloween wheel of majesty.
Let's do another another spin here and see what we can come up with. And our second topic on this episode of the GenX existentialist podcast, the Halloween edition is what is the weirdest thing that neighbors handed out at Halloween when you were a kid?
(13:49):
OK, thankfully, I lived on a road. I lived on a no outlet road. Yeah. So there wasn't a ton of people on it and everyone sort of knew the neighborhood kids. Yeah. And 90 percent of the the neighbors were very, very, very good to the neighborhood kids.
We all got full sized candy bars or something special, you know, and the treats. Now, there was one person that always handed out a roll of pennies, which I thought was interesting.
(14:19):
I mean, I'm Capricorn says all about the money. I was like, sure. You can throw in a couple of dimes. It's all good. Yeah. That was sort of weird.
That was probably the weirdest thing, really. I think I didn't live on a road where the full of dentists and doctors and idiots that would hand out like dental floss. Eat shit.
Halloween, baby. Give me a break. I don't remember anything weird aside from the occasional toss of coins. Occasionally a couple quarters, things like that.
(14:49):
But, you know, the subdivision that I grew up in, Scott grew up in a sprawling subdivision. It was amazing. And our goal, our goal there every Halloween was to hit every street to hit every house in the subdivision.
And there were a couple of times. I'm pretty darn sure we did. Wow. I mean, we started as soon as the bell rang and we were going.
How many bags did you have to fill up? Did you stop and drop off a bag or? No, because it was usually people just gave out like a piece per.
(15:17):
If you come to our house on Halloween, you're getting a handful because we don't have a lot of kids.
They all do really well in their costumes. Everybody around here where I'm living now is pretty creative.
So everybody gets a handful. So that's awesome. But as a kid, it was just like a piece and we never got a ton.
You would fill a pillowcase like an extra long pillowcase. Nice. And for me, being diabetic, I gave most of it away.
(15:44):
I mean, I wasn't going to eat it. It was just the fun of going out, dressing up and doing stuff.
But there were always rumors every year because you would talk to people like kids coming the other way,
friends that you knew that were in walking with a different group.
And there would be tales of somebody on this street that was giving out Star Wars figures or somebody on this street that was giving out full sized candy bars.
(16:11):
And so it became part of the quest to find that house. And that house never existed.
It was like the worst D&D campaign where this magical sword that you're trying to get.
And it turns out it was down this one alley in the one town that you went through that you didn't even stop to talk to anybody.
Sure. It's the white stag. You know, it's the whole it's that hunter's dream. And that's what keeps you going.
(16:34):
Yeah, exactly. That's good. So, you know, I still remember a couple of us like walking back to our houses because it was usually a group of us that lived around each other right there.
And just talking about that, like I didn't get any full sized candy bars. Yeah, I didn't either.
Who told us about that and trying to decipher where we had been led astray and where our entire evening had gone astray.
(17:00):
It's like you ignore the fact you've got a bag full of candy. We didn't get one full sized. Come on.
You know, but that's those are the kind of memories that are great memories. Yeah.
The whole idea of like that one the white whale. Yeah. You know, out in the neighborhood.
We didn't get it this year. What about next? Exactly. That's the kind of stuff that keeps you going.
(17:22):
Yeah. And I did try to convince my mom and dad once to get boxes of full sized candy bars and give those out and be that house.
You have way too many kids in that neighborhood. It would cost you a fortune.
Like our small neighborhood where I grew up was probably close to 60 houses, maybe even if that. Yeah. Maybe closer to 40.
(17:45):
I don't know. So yeah, it's a little more sustainable. There were hundreds and hundreds of kids. Yeah, that's crazy.
I always fantasized about trick or treating with you guys and your crazy stuff. Why didn't you ever come over?
I think it was because I was either handing out candy at our house or I was out trick or treating.
You know, it was and it was seeing the same old familiar faces of only time I saw some neighbors.
(18:11):
Sure. Like some elderly neighbors and that, especially like at the bottom of the street. Yeah.
The only time I ever really got to see them because they never came outside. Yeah.
So it was it was an event, you know, because the neighborhoods sort of knew each other relatively well. Right. Yeah.
That was it. So we will give our Halloween wheel of questions another spin here on the Gen X existentialist podcast.
(18:34):
I do love the jack-o-lantern in the center. I think we should keep that henceforth. I just dig it.
OK, what was your strategy for getting the most candy while trick or treating?
Well, I'd say a strategy that all kids should use. Scott already mentioned use a pillowcase.
Don't don't get tricked into one of these like, oh, the drugstore is giving out free plastic bags that are reflective or McDonald's is given out free plastic bags that are reflective.
(19:01):
They're too small. I mean, if you live in unless you live in like a tiny apartment and that's where you that's where you trick or treat is the apartment building.
But if you live in a neighborhood of any size, take a regular size pillowcase or a extra large pillowcase with you.
So you don't have to drop off and you don't have to.
There's no chance of the bottom ripping out usually and all your candy goes falling out.
(19:25):
That would be my strategy and hit it early. Don't be afraid of going out when it's not dark. Yeah.
And just do your thing. Yeah. Keep going.
I think you hit all the keys right there. And here's the thing. It's kind of an athletic event. You're going to be walking comfortable shoes.
Yeah. Plan your costume ahead. Look at the weather report. If it's going to be hot, dress down something that doesn't take a lot of it's going to be cold.
(19:50):
Dress up a little bit. You don't want to be out there in your Jedi robes if it's still like 80 freaking degrees when things start out.
If Halloween of trick or treating in your area is from six to eight at five forty five.
Be ready at the end of your driveway. Have your team ready. Everybody's there.
Clock hit six. You are at the first house and you are going and you're going until eight o'clock.
(20:17):
It hits eight o'clock. You stop. And that's when you walk back home. Do the entire two hours.
Extra long pillowcase is the way to go. You can wrap it up, throw it over your shoulder like Santa Claus bag.
But the little things like you said, like the little jack-o-lantern, little plastic and stuff. Those those don't hold nearly enough.
(20:38):
You are going out to collect candy. You're going out to try to collect enough candy to last you through the holidays if you can.
And it's possible. It's possible. Here's another trick for you kids.
When you're walking home at eight o'clock or nine o'clock whenever your Halloween ends, you know, take it leisurely.
Wander home. If you see people still out in their driveway, like people that are still kind of late to take their stuff in and you're really friendly with them.
(21:07):
They'll just pour the rest of the bowl into your bag to get rid of it because they don't want to bring it inside because they don't want to eat the candy.
They've got kids who are already trick or treating. They're diabetic. Something's up. They don't want to have that temptation in their house.
And that's, you know, I still enjoy the days where we move.
Now we don't have trick or treaters, unfortunately, but the place we live just prior, we had hundreds of them.
(21:33):
And I always enjoyed those young teens, tweens or whatever that were out really late at night.
And we're we're packing up shop and there's always one couple that's still, you know, trying to catch up because they couldn't get out in time or they had to eat dinner or whatever.
And they show up and I just pour the rest of the bowl into their bags and they crap their, yeah, their Halloween pants.
(21:54):
You know, it's it's a great experience for them and they'll never remember me.
They'll never remember the house where it came from, but they'll remember the thrill. Yes.
Of getting half of their bag filled with candy at the first stop. Yeah.
Because they just they hit it at the right time. And that could be you kids. Exactly. And always say thank you. Of course.
It's a little thing, but it can mean a lot. Yeah. Or say happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Trick or treat.
(22:20):
You know, do do the stuff that's expected. Yeah. Do the ritual. Yeah, absolutely.
We will give our Halloween wheel another spin here. And as we're winding down, winding down, I like the colors you put on this, too.
Very festive. So our next Halloween special question is if you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which one would you choose?
(22:52):
Protagonist in any horror movie? Well, I probably would not choose a horror movie franchise when there is a series because you know what happens to the protagonist at the next movie, they always get whacked. Yeah.
I don't know. I would probably choose something like a Hellraiser movie. That's where I was going to go. Yeah. Like a Hellraiser or maybe a Jaws.
(23:15):
Do you think Jaws was a horror movie? Absolutely. It was a horror movie. Really? Yeah. Do you know how many kids it scared away from the beach and adults it scared away from the beach just by existing?
I always thought of it as just a drama. That scene where the little kid gets eaten. Yeah. Holy moly. That was, at the time, that was terrifying to people.
It was visceral and freaked them out. When I was a little kid, I got scared to go to the beach because of the movie Blood Beach, which is not a very well known movie, but it's a movie about a monster that lives underground and it sucks people down through the sand.
(23:48):
So when you make noise, you know, you're walking on the beach and you're by yourself, all of a sudden your foot goes in the sand and you can't get out and then it starts eating you alive from the feet down and pulling you into the sand.
And then you just disappear and people are like, oh, where is everybody going? They went out for a walk on the beach tonight and they never came home.
So you're looking for a serial killer, but it's really some sort of crazy monster underground. Yeah. That freaked me out as a little kid.
(24:13):
So I would say something. I'd probably still go for a Hellraiser though, I think. Okay. I like my chances better in that.
I will jump out of Hellraiser then since you took that one and I will go with protagonist in any horror movie. And this is one that you might not consider a horror movie. Again, more of a psycho drama, but I would pick Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.
(24:42):
Well, you're not a protagonist. You're an antagonist in that. He's the bad guy, right?
It all depends on your point of view. That's the whole thing. Now you've got to pick a protagonist. I'm not going to let you off that easy.
Because if I could just be a serial killer, I'd pick a different movie too. But yeah, you've got to be the good guy or good girl in a film.
(25:06):
Yeah, but that's never fun in horror movies. I was always a big fan of the Scream franchise, at least the first four.
I know they're up to what, like what, seven now? I have no idea. I never paid attention to the Scream franchise. Really? I was not a big fan.
Especially the first one was just absolutely brilliant. Okay. And I think they could have left it at that. Yeah.
(25:33):
But any horror movie that does that well at the theater is going to get franchised out. You're going to keep going with it and keep milking it.
So that would be a choice. Yeah, some good looking chicks in those movies. Oh, God. Yeah. It's always good.
Yeah, I'm a big Neve Campbell fan here. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go with that. All right. Yeah.
(25:55):
So that will put us into our next question. We'll give the wheel another spin here. See what we can whip up here on this Halloween edition.
And happy Halloween to everybody. Yeah. This year, I guess it's on Thursday. Yep. It's coming up. Thursday is the 31st. Coming up this week.
Oh, this is great. This is a great question. All right. Would you rather have to eat a handful of candy corn or a handful of black licorice or three circus peanuts?
(26:28):
I would go with black licorice because I actually like black licorice. So that would be my choice for I mean, anytime.
Give me the black jelly bean. Give me the black licorice. Give me the licorice all sorts. That's just absolutely gross.
I was going to bring over my bag of licorice all sorts for a snack here. My thing is this black licorice is disgusting.
(26:51):
Any other licorice is pretty OK. It's just the black stuff. Now, for me, I'll take a handful of candy corn. I love candy corn. It's great.
And to be honest with you, I will show you the question I threw in the circus peanuts just for you. I'm not a fan of circus peanuts.
It wasn't even part of the question. But so since since we brought it up, I just love hearing you talk about it.
(27:14):
What's the deal with circus peanuts? Circus peanuts are foul.
The fact that it's a peanut and it's that unearthly shade of mellow yellow orange kind of it's almost a melon color.
Yeah, it's like an orange cream sickle color. Yeah. And it tastes like banana. It makes no sense.
(27:35):
It's it's a chimera that shouldn't exist. It's a mutation. I just love it.
So, yeah, I'm not sure how the NECA factory stayed in business as long as they did. Most of the candy they made is absolutely atrocious.
Yeah. Yeah, I can't disagree. They're like NECA wafers are just horrifying.
I guess it's not NECA. It's Spangler is the one that does the circus peanuts. Spangler is up in Ohio. Yeah, they're actually from Ohio.
(28:03):
You know what? Here's the weird thing, though. I can't deal with the black licorice. I like candy corn.
And honestly, circus peanuts, I kind of like the way they taste. OK, I do.
How about the consistency? It's not quite a marshmallow. It's not quite styrofoam. They're better. It's somewhere in between.
Here's the weird thing. Circus peanuts are better if they've been left out in the open air for a day or two and they have solidified a little bit.
(28:30):
If you get fresh ones just out of the bag and they're just they're like a weird wet marshmallow. Yeah, it's it's kind of odd.
I don't know how anything could be kind of so wet marshmallow, but still be so chalky at the same time.
Yes. You always need a drink after you've had it. It's a conundrum.
Let's whip up another question here on our Halloween wheel. Hope everyone has a happy Halloween.
(28:56):
And our next question is, come on, stop spinning.
This is a quick one. Are you afraid of clowns? No.
I actually am. I find clowns to be just disconcerting. I guess I'm not afraid of them. I just find them disconcerting.
(29:18):
Sure. I really like sad clowns. You're an Emmett Kelly fan.
Well, it's one of those things where clowns in and of themselves are far too joyous.
A sad clown is a realistic clown. And I don't mind that.
(29:40):
Yeah, I guess I'm more annoyed by clowns than I am scared of clowns because I'm not scared of them at all. I just find their their capering and their antics a bit annoying.
Yeah. Although I will say some female clowns. I don't know. I got a thing for it.
I can't even imagine. Keep the gown suit on.
(30:01):
Leave the bells on, baby. Keep those big feet on when you're at it. Crazy town.
Should we whip it down with one more? Oh, do a couple more. It's Halloween.
Okay. All right. Spinning the wheel on this Halloween edition of the Gen X existentialist podcast.
Hey, in the comments wherever you're listening to this or send us an email, get in touch.
(30:22):
Tell us about your favorite Halloween. Yeah. And we may talk about it later on on a different episode.
Okay. Well, I know the answer to this one for both of us. Have you ever walked through a graveyard late at night? Sure.
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, why why wouldn't you when we live down in Georgetown?
We lived just like basically part of a block away from Georgetown Cemetery.
(30:48):
And the thing about the cemetery was they closed the gates at the front, but there were entrances at different areas.
And like literally, you could just walk through the bushes down by the elementary school and just walk in and walk.
And it was great. And the cool thing was, as far as I remember, there was never any kind of, you know, stupid stuff that happened.
(31:09):
And yeah, you walk through there late at night. It was just kind of one of those things you did. It was fun.
Yeah. I had a friend back in the high school days named Sally, and that's where me and Sally used to hang out all the time. A St. John's Cemetery.
Yeah. Because there was no gates. Right. So you could just park on a side street and waltz right on in.
We would just hang out there at night and sit around and talk. Yes. Cool. And occasionally see other groups of other groups of people on their talk.
(31:36):
Yeah. Good stuff. OK. Let's do another one. Whipping around the wheel, the Halloween wheel.
And our next question is, come on, would you rather your mom was a witch or your dad was a vampire?
(31:57):
I guess I'd have to go with with probably mom as a witch. Yeah. Because I think you get more benefits from that. Yeah.
As a kid. I mean, unless you want to live forever and be a vampire, I guess, and then you could go with your dad being a vampire.
But I think being a kid whose mom's a witch, you know, she could put those hexes and spells to good use and good love potions, some good fancy stuff going on, some good glamors, you know, be kind of fun to have a mom who's always got your back in the supernatural sense.
(32:27):
Yeah. I always found witchcraft and wizardry to be the more useful or utilitarian thing to have. So I would go with the mom as a witch, too, because being a vampire, there's not a whole lot of benefit to it.
You can hypnotize people. Yeah. But it's more downside than anything. I mean, I can't. I mean, what could you do?
(32:49):
Walk around with a mirror and like, you know, show it to your dad like, where are you, dad? Where are you? And, you know, play silly games like that. Now, I will say this.
If I could turn into a bat and fly away, something like that, like, I guess the bigger thing is mom's a witch, dad's a vampire. Do either of those get passed down to you?
(33:10):
Probably not. Or are you like the girl in the monsters where you're normal? You're Marilyn. Yeah.
If that's the case, I mean, that's just some bullshit. There's nothing good about that.
You'd never be able to sneak in late because your dad's always up all night. Yeah, exactly. And you couldn't make a lot of noise in daytime because your dad's sleeping all day. So it'd be kind of a pain.
(33:31):
Just no fun all the way around. All right. One more question here on the Halloween edition of the Gen X existentialists. Our jack-o-lantern wheel has spun down and our question is in a candy trade war, what candy do you keep no matter what?
(33:52):
And what candy do you get rid of? All right. Well, for me, I always get rid of what I think we said it before, circus peanuts, of course. Yeah. Candy corn. Not a huge fan.
I usually get rid of sweet tarts. Really? Things like that. Yeah. I mean, it's so ubiquitous. Yeah. It's one of those things where how many sweet tarts can you really eat? I mean, you get a million of them. I always get rid of Tootsie Rolls. I hate Tootsie Rolls. Yeah.
(34:20):
Understandable. And Tootsie Pops for that matter because I mean, there's nothing worse than having your lollipop and then find a big old turd in the middle of it.
I think things I always keep, I think, are things most kids keep. I always try to keep the chocolate if I can. Yeah.
Special Dark being my absolute favorite. Although I'll keep a Crackle or a Nestle here and there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't super precious about what candy I kept, but there was a lot of candy. I mean, who wants the orange and black wrapped things?
(34:55):
You know, they're like peanut butter is what they're supposed to taste like. Yeah. Like, or a bit of honey or any of those like teeth pulling. Any of the taffy stuff. Yeah. It's just like.
Because you know it's been sitting around in some drug store, you know, warehouse for decades. Yeah. They bring it out every year hoping they'll get rid of it finally and it just. Yeah. When the wax paper is literally stained and wet from the candy.
(35:19):
Don't eat it. That just means it's been in a hot warehouse for years and hasn't been touched. Yeah. I don't do Laffy Taffys. I don't do any of these Skittles.
Or nuts. Well, I don't like Skittles either. I like Skittles. It's terrible. What was the Starburst? I don't do the Starburst. Starburst. They, I'm pretty sure they make Starburst now that are like Skittles.
(35:42):
So they're softer. You don't have to fight to eat them. I don't know how hard is a rock anymore. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'll keep some things like I'll keep some Jolly Ranchers. Sure. Yeah. Any of the kind of hard candies that you just let dissolve in your mouth. I'm good with that. I like the chocolates.
But I don't do. I mean, I'll deal with a Smarty or a Sweet Tart. You know, Sprees were great. Now nobody gives out Sprees anymore. But yeah, I'm not a big fan of any of that kind of the Tootsie Roll, the chewy stuff.
(36:15):
The only chewy thing that I can abide is the strawberry, the like pink Starburst. Okay. Because that flavor, there's just something about it that is so freaking good. Okay. That it's it's worth putting it in your mouth and letting it warm up and soften so that you can eat it.
(36:36):
All the other flavors aren't really worth that. But, you know, in this case it is. What's your opinion of the fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls that they're trying to pass off now? I've never had one. I'm not interested in them. That just it sounds completely gross. Yeah.
Because it's still got the consistency of a Tootsie Roll. Yeah. It looks like somebody broke off a crayon. Looks like the label off a crayon. It's like, here, eat this periwinkle blue log. No, that's okay.
(37:02):
So the candy I would get rid of is Payday. Sure. The candy bar. Because it's just pointless. They're disgusting. It's awful. And the candy I would keep no matter what is Mounds or Almond Joy. Oh yeah. Mounds are great.
I love the coconut and the chocolate. Those are by far my favorite candy bars. Although like a Nestle Crunch or Crackle, anything with that crispy rice in it is always good too.
(37:30):
Here's a quick candy question for you. Yeah. My alliterative moment. The controversial candy of nerds. What are your feeling on nerds? Why are they controversial? I always have this controversy with friends because they're always like, I love those little boxes of nerds that come in the Halloween candy. I couldn't stand them. Why? They're too sweet. They're the point where it makes you feel sick when you're eating them because they're just... No, they're great. Oh my God.
(37:57):
I remember coming back from a sporting event when I was little and my parents bought me one of those big boxes of nerds. With the two sides? Yeah, with the two sides. Yeah, those are great. And I was like, what is this? Because I'd never had them before and it was just like, bleh. Too sweet.
The best thing to do with nerds is if you eat breakfast cereal for breakfast, whatever cereal you've got, add nerds to it. Oh my God. It's awesome. Is this to turn the milk, whatever color the nerds are? And to add a different... Like if you've got Captain Crunch and you add some pink strawberry nerds to it, that's great stuff.
(38:32):
Captain Crunch is bad enough as it is. This is like Scott, pre-diabetic, would do this. How did he get diabetes, folks? I don't know. It wasn't that. But jeez, I would say that would contribute to it if it weren't. Captain Crunch and nerds, think about that. Oh my God.
It was amazing stuff. And with that, we draw to a close our Halloween episode here on the Gen X Essentialist. Final question. Yes. Your favorite Halloween in a minute or less.
(39:03):
Oh my gosh. My favorite Halloween. There have been so many. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I'd have to say probably... I was in kindergarten and I went as Godzilla. Yeah. And it was just fun. I don't know. It was one of those perfect 70s Halloween's.
(39:26):
Parents were out in the yard to scare the kids. It wasn't exactly freezing. Seems like lately Halloween is always miserable. It's always spitting snow or ice. It's always cold. This was a more temperate Halloween, I remember. And the leaves were perfect. Everything smelled like Halloween.
I got to go to Ben Franklin's and look at... Ben Franklin's was an old Five and Dime store. And look at the giant aisles of boxed plastic masks that used to be out. And I just spend what felt like hours looking at Halloween decorations.
(40:04):
And my parents were young and healthy. And we hung up cardboard Halloween decorations on the windows. It was just good. It was a classic 70s Halloween. How about you?
About the same. It was first grade and it was when after school I walked down and stayed with my grandparents before my parents got off work and could pick me up. And I was a stormtrooper from Star Wars. And my grandfather took me around. This was in Bellevue, Kentucky.
(40:37):
My grandfather took me around. He was a police officer. So everybody in the neighborhood knew him and knew that we were walking around. And here I am, stormtrooper, it's Halloween, walking around with my grandfather in his police uniform.
That's my long-term abiding memory of Halloween is that. Walking around Bellevue.
(41:01):
Nice. I'm sure that was a good neighborhood to trick or treat in.
It was. It really was. It was right down from.
An old suburban neighborhood.
Yeah. Yeah. It was foot avenue and the surrounding area in Bellevue right down from Grandview Elementary. That's where it was. Awesome. Cool. Hey, happy Halloween.
Hey, happy Halloween to you too and all you kids out there. Be safe. Go get some candy for me, would you?
(41:23):
And thank you for listening to the Gen X existentialist on our Halloween podcast. My name is Scott.
And I'm Bunny.
And we'll catch you next time. Have a good one.
(41:59):
Bye.
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