Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
If I were a betting
man I'd say neither of these
boys wants to apologize.
If you've ever had brothersyourself, you understand.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
That harmonica was a
terrible idea.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You're not staying
here.
Dude, what Find?
Some shithole motel orsomething?
You're not staying here.
You're serious as Dad's death.
You are not welcome in my house.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Whatever man, I'm
fucking gone.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Oh my God, what the
hell happened to you.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I don't want to talk
about it.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Why is your face
bruised and where's your brother
?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I told him he
couldn't stay here.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Noah what happened.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I'm going to go lay
down.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
What the hell, noah,
I'm going to go get him.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
No, do not let that
asshole in this house.
Well, tell me what happenedthen.
He's a selfish little prick.
There is no place for him inthis family anymore.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Know what?
Your brother is standing thereat the edge of the driveway.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
And.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
And he's your brother
.
Get off your ass and let him inKirsten.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
this is something
that I'm going to be very firm
on.
Isaac is not welcome in thishouse anymore.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Well, why won't you
tell me what happened then?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I don't want to talk
about it, Kirsten.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Well, what happened
to your face?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I cut myself shaving.
Please stop.
You just want to lay there andwallow in your own self-pity.
Look what happened is betweenIsaac and I.
Now please just drop it.
Stop.
Don't look at me like that.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
I beg your pardon.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I'm sorry, babe, I
love you, I love you so much,
but this is something I have tostand very firm on.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well, is he going to
be at the funeral?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I don't give a shit
at this point.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Then what the hell
was the point of going to get
him?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I needed a brother.
What I brought back was afleshy patch of selfishness.
What?
My brother's not there anymore.
He only cares about himself, solet him care about himself.
I'm done.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
The Gentle Art of
Making Enemies.
Written and directed by BenGaddafi.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Episode 6.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Their daddy's funeral
is just around the corner and
in the moment, death seems toremind you of your life.
It ain't that bad.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Something tells me
they'll be just fine.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Wow, I didn't expect
such a turnout?
I did.
My dad was a social whore.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Really.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Oh yeah, his buddies
were our babysitters, uncles,
big brothers.
The man knew everybody in town,so you think he'll show?
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Who.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Isaac, you thick fuck
.
Think he'll be here I bet youthe baby's name.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
He doesn't show up.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Oh really.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
You really have faith
in that walnut?
He has the morals of a kid onTikTok.
He probably films himselfgiving food to homeless people.
Oh look how good I am.
Somebody pat me on the back.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Whatever, I'm holding
you to that bet.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Deal Jerry Reed
Peterson, if it's a boy.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Brenner Cole.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Brenner.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Sounds like a
sandwich.
Oh, it does not Ask Gabe.
Gabe, yo Come over here.
Stop.
It's your father's funeral,quit yelling.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hasn't even started.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
He's not going to
play your little game.
Anyway, this is where you wantto be when Jesus comes back.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I'd rather be in
Vegas.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Okay good luck with
that Yo ho ho bro-stachios Gabe
does Brenner sound like asandwich Brenner?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Gabe, please don't
humor him.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, just answer the
question.
Does Brenner sound like a?
Speaker 5 (04:26):
sandwich.
Well, I immediately regretwalking over here, guys.
What's this about?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
We have a bet and if
I lose, we name the child
fucking Brenner.
Nope, I'm out.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Ha told you it was
worth a try.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Thanks for nothing,
Gabe no problem.
Dickity, dickhead.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Holy shit.
I hope you realize I'm namingour baby Brenner Sandwich.
Speaker 6 (04:52):
There's no way, I'm
telling you, well you, just lost
a bet, look.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
You're shitting me.
Wow, he looks like shit.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Ow, be nice, you both
look like raccoons God damn,
it's my father's funeral.
Hey, you're in a holy place.
If you talk like that, again,I'm divorcing you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
If I were only so
lucky.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
You couldn't afford
the child support.
You degenerate.
Quiet down, Quiet down everyone.
Speaker 6 (05:24):
We'll begin once
everyone finds their seats.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Isaac started this
whole fucking thing, by the way,
shh.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
I don't care, just
let it go.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Thank you all for
coming.
Everyone, we are gathered heretoday not to mourn the death,
but to celebrate the life ofThomas Peterson.
God has taken him at a time ofhis life that was unexpected for
all of us.
We will miss Thomas, but ourburden is not as heavy as his
two boys, noah and Isaac, whoare here today to bury their
(06:07):
father.
Just five years ago, they wereburdened with the tragedy of
burying their mother, sharon.
Noah, isaac, we are all herefor you.
Your family has been a pillarin this community and you too
are our family as well.
Just know that Thomas andSharon will be joined again,
leaving their eternal love herefor eternal life in heaven.
(06:28):
I have been asked for theeulogy to be given by his son,
isaac Peterson.
I cannot think of a betterperson to give a proper speech.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Isaac, if you please.
You know I thought about givingthe stereotypical speech about
life lessons experiences.
We had funny anecdotes.
What have you?
Nobody wants to hear that.
That's every funeral.
Seems like everybody else hasthat under control.
I'm pretty sure I saw Dad'sfrat buddies in the back doing
beer bongs when I walked in.
So there's that Having a goodtime, bill.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Hell yes.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, there you go.
There's your shout-out.
I was trying to figure out whatto say here tonight while being
in a drunken stupor.
You know it's the Peterson way,I suppose, but it really didn't
work out the way I hoped.
I ended up with a broken nose,bruise on my face and a pissed
off brother.
(07:28):
What I have found out abouttrying to write a eulogy for
your own father is that weremember a great man not in
times of darkness, but weremember him in the light.
He was the epitome of a fatherteaching Noah and I a multitude
of lessons.
Thomas Peterson lived his lifenot only how he saw fit, but how
(07:49):
he wanted others to live.
A gloating man is a man who hasa minuscule portion of what
life is about.
The man who has nothing is aman who finds everything in
something.
Fear will never overpower, butmerely be motivation to stay one
step ahead, ensuring thefeeling having everything truly
(08:11):
feels like everything.
A man who has everything has nofear in letting go.
My father motivated us to bethe same Live in the moment, but
learn through your mistakes tofind a way to keep the moment
alive.
Our father was a wise man.
He was a great husband to ourmother and an even better father
(08:33):
.
One can only hope people had alife as rich as ours.
He gave us everything.
He may not have given us thematerial possessions that kid
desires, but he gave us strength, discipline, courage.
He gave us everything we neededand we gather to thank you, dad
.
Our hearts will always befilled with the love you showed
(08:54):
everyone in this room.
I hope you and Mom are happyand I wish you the best.
I'll be thinking of you, thankyou.
Speaker 6 (09:07):
Thank you, Isaac.
I will now read from 1Thessalonians 4, 14 through 17.
Man Isaac did good, For sincewe believe that Jesus died and
rose again.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah, he actually did
.
Speaker 6 (09:20):
God will bring him
those who have fallen asleep.
For this we declare to you, bythe word from our Lord, the
power of God, you okay bud.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm just letting everyone enjoythemselves.
You can join.
Nah, I'm alright.
I still need a bit.
Besides, everyone would just dothe.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Bullshit, I'm not in thefucking mood for that Good point
Well let's do a shot Of what.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
What are you thinking
?
I'm thinking a bomb of somesort, a little pep in the
fucking mood for that Good point.
Well, let's do a shot Of what.
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking a bomb of somesort, a little pep in the step.
Come on, let's get some liquidcrack.
I'm all right, dude, all right.
You're sitting there talking toyourself like an old man.
You're doing a bomb.
Let's light the world on fire.
This is our night.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
That's an odd example
, but fuck it, I'm in.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
There you go, let
loose.
We got the whole night ahead ofus.
Let's celebrate your dad.
Let's burn the world down.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Hey Nate two Vegas
bombs, please Sounds good,
coming right up Isaac.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Look man.
I know it's tough, but we'reall here for you.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
So, maya and I grew
up with your dad too.
Yeah, I know I do appreciateeverything you've done, gabe.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
You do the same
brother.
When times are tough, we gottastick together, otherwise
everything just falls apart.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, sometimes I
think it already did fall apart.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
Man, stay positive.
That's just part of life.
But at least now your dad'swith your mom.
Yeah, maybe, maybe, dude, yourmom was a smoke show.
No doubt your dad got laidfirst thing.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Wonderful.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Now I have the image
of my parents diddling in my
fucking head.
Here you go, guys On the house.
Sorry for your loss, Isaac.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
See what I mean.
What did I do to piss you off,man?
Speaker 5 (11:11):
No, nate, nate,
You're good, he's just being a
dick Stop being a dick and takeyour shot.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
You're starting to
sound like Noah.
Sorry, nate, I'm just beingpissy, just trying to serve you
some drinks To Thomas, to Thomas.
Noah, you should go talk toIsaac.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Why he's fine.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
He just lost his
father.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So did I Look at him,
though, he looks fine.
Besides the beauty mark I gavehim, he's a picture of hell.
Yeah, he gave you one too.
Just go talk to him.
I talked to him the entire triphere.
The man is a boner killer.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Your analogies are
fucking awful.
Just go over there and saysomething to him, please.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Fine, I'll go over
there and I'll call him a cunt.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
No wait, Don't go
over there.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
What the hell do you
want me to do?
Stay, go, fuck myself.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Maya is walking over
there.
So so his ex-girlfriend, who heghosted and moved to Colorado,
is walking over there.
Whoop-de fuck, oh, she mightpunch him.
I kind of want to see this, ohHoly shit.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Good point, dude.
I know that was sick.
Speaker 7 (12:34):
They were like I'm
out, gabe can I have a minute
Whoa, sure, sure, hold on.
All right, I'm going to go havea minute Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
Sure, sure, hold on.
All right, I'm going to go havea smoke.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Hey, thanks for
coming, Maya.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Your dad was a big
part of my life too.
I wouldn't have missed this forthe world.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Just know, I do
appreciate it.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
So how are you?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I'm all right as good
as a man who just buried his
dad.
Fair you, I'm good, I'm alrightas good as a man who just
buried his dad.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
There you, I'm good,
I'm staying busy.
I work with Gabe in the shopnow.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Oh, fucking A.
You were always good with cars,so that makes sense.
Is that sarcasm?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You taught me so much about mycars I don't even think I have
the right to make fun of you.
Speaker 7 (13:14):
This is true.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Oh, I told Noah, Dad
taught me.
So just a heads up, If we werein an argument he'd never let it
down if I told him it was youwho taught me how to work on
cars.
Speaker 7 (13:22):
No shit, I might just
go tell him now.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Please don't.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
What Afraid of the
big bad Noah.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Afraid of Noah Hell?
No, I just don't want to hearhim speak.
Speaker 7 (13:33):
You two are something
else.
I heard about the fights.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Noah made himself out
.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
As usual, he's got a
knack for that.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
So how are things, or
whatever.
I'm not good at small talk atthe moment.
Speaker 7 (13:48):
Isaac Peterson being
short for words now, this is a
first.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yeah, I know my
brain's all scrambled and I'm
pretty sure I left my backpackin Noah's truck, so that has me
a bit disheveled at the moment.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
Well, you are a
pretty forgetful person.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Not usually.
Speaker 7 (14:04):
You forgot to bring
your girlfriend with you to
Colorado.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Ew Ouch Too soon.
Can I say too soon there?
Speaker 7 (14:12):
Since it was five
years ago, I'd say no, I just
chose the wrong time to bring itup, though.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Eh, go ahead.
I fucked up and deserveeverything you have to say.
Speaker 7 (14:20):
No, it's been so long
and tonight isn't the night.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
And another night is.
Speaker 7 (14:26):
Look, I didn't come
over here to fight.
I just wanted to say mycondolences and see if you were
alright.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
I appreciate that
Maya Truly.
You take care, Isaac, you too.
Maya, Thank you for coming.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
Hey, I'm going to a
show at Red Rocks in a couple
months.
I'll be around for a coupledays.
Would you want to get lunch orsomething?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I'll go with the
option or something.
What does that entail, though?
Does it involve a Steely Dan CD, you sinner?
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Seriously, I would
like to meet up with you and
chat when I'm out there, and I'mnot sure how long you're going
to be in town, so I figured weshould talk out there.
I how long you're going to bein town, so I figured we should
talk out later.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I would love that.
Speaker 7 (15:05):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:08):
Yeah, maya Shit.
Speaker 7 (15:11):
I have to go.
Come here now.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Who's that great big
ball of joy?
Speaker 7 (15:15):
Currently my
boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Currently.
Huh, well, you take care, maya.
It was good to see you, I meanit.
Speaker 7 (15:24):
Take care of yourself
alright.
Speaker 6 (15:31):
What the hell do you
think you're doing here?
Speaker 7 (15:33):
Paying my respects.
What does it matter?
Speaker 6 (15:36):
He's your ex.
His dad just died.
Am I just supposed to saynothing to him?
I forbade you to go to thefuneral in the first place, let
alone the bar afterwards.
Speaker 7 (15:45):
And I remember
telling you to get fucked.
You don't remember that part.
Speaker 6 (15:50):
You're coming home
right now.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
Gabe and I grew up
with the Petersons.
I'm just paying my respects.
What's the big deal?
Speaker 6 (15:57):
I'm serious, let's go
.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Whoa whoa, what the
fuck is going on.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Mind your business.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Well, when you're
yelling at your lady in the
middle of a bar, it becomeseverybody's business.
Speaker 7 (16:07):
Lucas, we will talk
about this tomorrow.
Speaker 6 (16:09):
No, you're coming
home right now.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Shit.
Noah and Isaac are staring youguys.
Oh hell no.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
You put your hands on
me again, you and I are going
to have a problem.
Speaker 6 (16:19):
Worse than the
problem we have right now.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
You are an angry,
jealous, controlling asshole who
throws a temper tantrum when hedoesn't get his way.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Don't you talk to me
like that again.
Oh shit, done, fucked up, lucas, they're coming.
I told you stay out of this.
Speaker 7 (16:38):
If you ever touch me
again, I swear to God, whoa,
whoa, calm down, punch me Again,I swear to God.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Whoa whoa, calm down,
calm down, get the fuck off me.
Get the fuck off it's me.
God damn Shit, it's me.
Where the fuck is, gabe.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Maya, maya, maya Maya
, calm down, calm down.
Look, it's over.
Hey, look at me, it's over.
Look, you made him cry.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
That wasn't fair.
You fucked him up.
Maya, Fuck him.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
This way, babe, don't
worry about him.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
You fucking dick,
whoa, whoa.
What the fuck did I?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
just miss.
You ever watch bumfights.
Maya fucking destroyed thisdude.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
No shit.
I heard something from outside,but I wasn't sure what was
going on.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Look, he's still
right there on the ground, you
think?
Speaker 5 (17:30):
she's over there.
Come on, buddy, Come on, let'sget up.
I'll walk you up.
Wrong person to pick a fightwith buddy you okay.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Get out of my way.
I'm calling the cops.
Good luck with that.
You swung first Steve.
Steve, who the fuck is Steve?
Well, you are, see.
I didn't think it was importantenough to know your name, so I
just kind of picked one.
Speaker 5 (17:50):
You see, steve
there's an important lesson to
have learned here, and it seemsto be written on your face Get
out of my way.
Yeah, good looking out, brother.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Good looking out,
brother Nate, two whiskeys.
What the hell happened to youguys?
You guys, okay, yeah, the onewho started the fight just got
escorted out you guys.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
good, I don't think
he's coming back.
Nate, all is well.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Good man, I don't
want that shit in my bar.
Two whiskeys, double the price.
You guys fucked around way toomuch.
Thanks, nate.
Your ex is one tough, broaddude.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
She sure as shit can
handle her own, that's for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Not gonna lie, man
Totally thought she was gonna
hit you earlier.
Hit me why I was watching fromacross the bar.
Oh, thanks for the privacy,dickhead.
You're at a bar.
You have no privacy.
Everyone is looking at everyone.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Whatever man you want
another shot, Fuck it.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Why not?
It's the last night of drinkingfor the foreseeable future.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Hey Nate, another
round please.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
It may not seem to be
to the untrained eye, but they
finally got over their bullshit.
All it took was witnessing asavage attack and, fucked up as
these two may be, they're livingin high cotton.
The death of their daddybrought them back together.
Noah's about to be a daddyhimself, and Isaac was able to
(19:32):
conquer his fears.
Isaac and Noah still have along way to go before they learn
about the world, but blesstheir hearts for trying.
These are my boys.
I love them and I'm proud ofthem.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You know you're still
an asshole.
Are you gonna pay foreveryone's drinks, since you're
rich now?
Oh, fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
The Gentle Art of
Making Enemies.
Written and directed by BenGaddafi, starring Tim Welsh, ben
Gaddafi, samantha Johnson, wrenSoren, katie Lee Rumpf, tessa
Thompson, alexander Hamilton,ryan Rumpf, nick Vodica, jason
Flynn.
(20:26):
Thank you.