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November 4, 2024 50 mins

What does it mean to be a modern entrepreneur shaped by the legacy of family values? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Mike Haupt, owner and executive of Haupt Electrical, who shares how his parents' extraordinary resilience and strong family values have profoundly influenced his life's journey. With his mother's upbringing in a Catholic orphanage and his father being orphaned by age 13, Mike’s story is a testament to how overcoming adversity can forge a powerful resilient spirit and a commitment to family. 

Mike reflects on the delicate balancing act between professional responsibilities and family life. Through personal anecdotes, he shares the joy of following in a parent's footsteps and the invaluable lessons learned from early exposure to a trade. This episode highlights the significance of hands-on experience, the importance of being present for family, and the transformative power of witnessing generational continuity in craftsmanship and work values. It's a heartfelt exploration of how our priorities shift with age, often accompanied by a deeper understanding and wisdom.

In a world that often overlooks the small, everyday moments, Mike reminds us of their profound influence on family connections. Through stories of creating cherished memories out of the mundane, such as shared chores and errands, we explore how these interactions can shape future parenting styles and strengthen family bonds. The conversation also touches on the importance of maintaining relationships with aging parents and defining what it means to be a gentleman in today's society, emphasizing kindness, honesty, and understanding. Join us for a touching reminder that the seemingly ordinary can hold extraordinary potential to fortify family legacies and foster enduring connections.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast.
I'm Corey.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Moore and I'm Kirk Chug.
Today we are pleased to bejoined by Mike Haupt.
He is the owner and executiveof Haupt Electrical.
He was referred to us by one ofour good friends and former
guests on the podcast, davidGilliland, as somebody who we
just have to interview, and whenwe get a referral from a
previous guest, I listen.

(00:25):
And so you are going toexperience, corey and I, getting
to know Mike at the same time.
You will, and so we're superexcited for this.
We had a good conversationbefore the podcast today, but
we're going to get into some ofwhat Mike's entrepreneurial
process has been and what hisstory is, and how cool the

(00:48):
influence of his father was inhis life as he's made a career
for himself, and how he'sextending some of those same
lessons onto the next generation.
So, mike, thanks for joining uson the podcast, joining us in
the studio and taking time outof your day to be with us.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
It's good to be here.
I'm excited to talk about, youknow what's brought me here, and
the influence of my family, andI'd add, yeah, my dad, but my
mom too, so I'm sure we'll hitthat.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Well, tell us about your mom and dad.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, interesting.
My mom and dad's story is verynon-typical.
I mean, obviously people havetragedy in their lives and
that's something that everyonedeals with.
But my mom actually grew up ina Catholic orphanage in Buffalo,
new York.
So she's the last child of four.

(01:40):
She had one sibling pass away,but she's quite a bit younger
than her older siblings and hermom and dad divorced in the 40s
and in the 40s when her mom kindof took off and went to
California, left kids and dadbehind, my mom's my grandpa Leo.
He just couldn't work and takecare of my mom and so he really

(02:08):
looked at the best options andthey were Catholic at the time
and decided to take her to aCatholic orphanage and he did so
.
He was still a part of her life.
He would see her a lot of timeson the weekends and go spend a
few hours with her here andthere.
But she, you know, he workedseven days a week, worked for
the railroad, worked long shifts, 80 hours plus a week to

(02:28):
support and do what he could.
So so that was interesting forher to come from that Um but
what a background.
Yeah, yeah, crazy.
I um went out this year.
I decided to take a trip, uh,with my family.
I've never been to Buffalo, newYork, never seen where my mom
grew up, and we didn't get a tonof time there.
But we got to go to Buffalo fora day and go see the orphanage

(02:50):
it's not an orphanage anymore,but the building where that was
and see where my grandpa grew upand lived and his tombstone now
in the graveyard there and theCatholic graveyard and it was
cool.
It was just.
You know, I like family historyand I like tying into that side
of seeing just where my mom was.
It's a it's a gritty city andit's interesting.

(03:10):
But also just her environmentof growing up and then so for my
my dad, so she, she came out ofthat.
Um ended up.
You know it could be a long,long story just on that, but um
ended up moving back toCalifornia and living with her
mom for just a little bit oftime before she met my dad.
Then later married my dad.
Young, she was 16 when shemarried my dad.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, so young family and part of it.
You know, when she moved outthere, mom still struggled with
alcoholism and she, you know,wanted to go try because she was
ready to move on from where shewas in Buffalo.
But it wasn't what.
She was ready to move on fromwhere she was in Buffalo, but it
wasn't what she was expecting.
And quickly she realized sheneeded to make a change and she
had met my dad about six monthsprior to that.

(03:51):
So they expedited gettingmarried and they're still
married to this day.
They've been married for, Iwant to say, 63 years, my dad's
87.
My mom's 82.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
So it's a unique story.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, interesting.
And my dad was actuallyorphaned by the time he was 13.
So he grew up youngest of eightin Arizona and his dad died
when he was 11.
His mom died when he was 13.
And he's the youngest by, Iwant to say, like six years, and
so his siblings really werekind of helping raise him in the

(04:24):
last few years of his life, buthe went to work early, you know
, and got working as a truckingand then became an electrician,
pretty quickly too, actually.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
So, yeah, so how did so?
Those are very unique stories.
It's not your everyday, no, andthen they were pretty young
when they met and were married.
So how did that influence whothey became who they are?
And then, how did thatinfluence who you are today?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, that's a deep question, I think.
You know.
I think it, especially seeingit in my mom.
Just her value on family ishuge.
She didn't grow up with familyand so she's been very there for
all of us kids and all of andthe grandkids and great
grandkids, and so she's the typeand my dad too, but especially

(05:10):
my mom it's like I have to becareful when I ask for help with
the kids, cause she would belike leaving on a trip to San
Diego and I'd be like, can youwatch my son for two hours and
she'd be like yep, yeah.
I'm like were you going to dosome.
Oh, I was just going to go on atrip.
I'm like no mom, go on yourtrip, it's okay.
And so she's just very familycentric.
You know, growing up and and Ialso realized you know there's

(05:31):
there's pros and cons to all ofthese situations you come out of
, and I feel like she really hadthis way of compartmentalizing
her life, cause I think to getthrough a situation like that,
you kind of have to do that andI've seen that that she's.
She's an amazing woman.
I know she loves me and shetells me she loves me, but her

(05:53):
emotional connection to peopleis it's not as deep as you might
think it would be, and I thinkshe's protected herself and
guarded herself over 80 plusyears to make sure that she
could survive.
I think you know and sodefinitely deeply influenced
them.
But I think honestly, when Ilook at my parents' marriage too
and they've had a good marriageright, but 65 years, a long

(06:17):
time both of them were childrenreally when they got married my
dad 21, she was 16.
And I think about you know,even just no family support
Right, and having kids.
They had kids really quicklyafter they got married, had
their first one only a year intomarriage and and then had eight
, and just just the gravity ofall of that.

(06:39):
But I guess my kind of my pointis is through the thick and
thin of it and I think becauseof that early background, I
think that's a big reason why myparents made it through.
There's plenty of other reasons, but I think they had this
attachment and knowledge of it'snot easier somewhere else and
we have this.
So let's lean into this and Ithink that's an important

(07:00):
principle that we don't.
Sometimes we were ready tomaybe run before we should.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
The grass is always greener on the other side, but
it still has to be mowed.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah, and so I see that and they had, you know they
had.
I remember I was the youngestand I found out afterwards.
But there were some rockypatches in my late high school
years where my mom almost leftmy dad and you know they kind of
worked through that.
My dad committed to some changeand I'm sure I, you know I, I'm
sure my mom had some of her ownpieces in it too, but they made
that work and that was in thepast Now.
That was almost 30 years ago,right so 25 plus years ago.

(07:38):
And so that's uh interestingthat I, when I look at it, I'm
like I feel like a lot of thissticking it out, pushing through
the thick and thin came fromearly stages of kind of feeling
abandoned by both of them, andyou don't wish any of that on
either of them.
But I also think it kind ofhelped shape who they became,

(08:01):
which then helped shape who Ibecame, you know, and each of me
and my seven siblings have adifferent experience inside that
, so being raised by 21 year oldversus being raised by my dad,
you know, when I was born he was42.
So completely different.
And I kind of have a similarthing with my children, where I
don't have as many.

(08:21):
I've only got four, but they'respread out over 18 years and so
I've got a 20, almost 23 yearold son and a five year old son.
We were just talking to some,some friends just barely that
were talking to my wife, andit's like our five year olds
being raised by completelydifferent parents that are a lot
more patient, a lot more.
We're able to be more presentin where we're at in our careers
and where we're at financially.

(08:41):
That is nice and and wherewe're at financially.
That is nice.
But there's kind of pros andcons.
My 23-year-old to tell you heloved having a young dad.
That just was kind of energetic, and I feel like I'm still kind
of energetic, but I am olderand I feel older in my 40s than
I was in my 20s, and he wantedto be a young dad and I've

(09:01):
cautioned him.
I'm like, hey, maybe wait alittle while, you're not married
yet.
So but I also realized that weconnected on this friendship
level.
I missed dad first for sure,but we had this.
We were constant together.
So his um, he came from aprevious relationship.
His mom and I were nevermarried.
We weren't together for verylong after he was born, so he

(09:22):
doesn't remember that kind ofrelationship.
And then he was about four whenI married and started dating.
I guess started I think he wasfour when I married my wife, but
the connection between him andI was just always a little
different and just close.
So, anyway, I just I feel likeanywhere and you know, I've got
my two daughters in the middlethere as well, a 15 year old, a

(09:42):
13 year old, almost 13 on Sundaybut and that their experience
is different and I just I thinkthat's how you look at this is
is you know their, my parents'experience inside of their
family dynamic was verydifferent, especially for, I
mean, my mom's older siblingswere not orphaned because they
were old enough to live that out, and so she was.
And then my dad is the youngestI think it's five years younger

(10:06):
than the next closest, so whenhe was 13 and both parents were
gone, the other one was 18.
That's a that's a differentexperience for sure.
And down the line.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
So so you were.
You're saying that thedifference between your oldest
and your youngest experience ofyou being their father is is
completely different, and I can.
I can think, you know.
I think that this is one of thethings why people say being a
grandparent is so great, becauseyou've learned over the course
of like 20 plus years usuallyhow to be a parent, and then

(10:38):
being a grandparent is kind oflike this second chance to do
things the way that you now wishyou would have done them, where
the little things are reallynot that important.
You don't get upset about thelittle things and you just love
first.
So I guess, if you're like ayoung parent listening to the

(10:59):
podcast because all three of usare kind of nodding our heads
around the table that you knowthe things that you're stressing
out about right now, about oram I being a good parent?
Is my kid behaving in public?
You should.
You know you want them to, butit's a reflection of them, not
you.
Yeah, and you know, giveyourself, give yourself a little

(11:22):
bit of grace, because 20 yearsdown the road you're going to
look at it and say I, I, I kindof sound like I'm a grandpa
talking right now, but I'm not.
I'm not a grandpa yet, but Ican imagine, you know, if I had
another kid today, that kid'sexperience would be completely
different than my oldestdaughters and the things that I
think.
I look back and say why wasthat so important to you?

(11:47):
Why did you stress so muchabout this?
It wasn't important in theslightest in the long run, yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
So that's a good point.
You know, you hear aboutgrandparenting and the kind of
the cliche answer is well, I getto give them back at the end of
the night I get to spoil themand give them back.
Yeah, but I think really what itis is the patience level that
you've got and and honestly, Ithink that you're, hopefully,
you're always gaining wisdom,knowledge and, yes, you will
continue to do that in yourfifties, sixties, seventies, but

(12:16):
when that I feel like thegreatest gains are happening,
and a lot bigger incrementalgains are happening in your
twenties and thirties, andprobably even forties, than they
are probably in your fiftiesand sixties and not the case for
everyone, I'm sure.
But so your overall experienceas a grandparent is not going to
change as much as you were as aparent, and I don't imagine

(12:38):
that 18 years intograndparenting, I'm going to be
like, oh I, I've learned thisgreatest thing I wish I would
have been a better grandparent20 years ago and I'm sure
there'll be little things butnot as stark contrast as 18
years of parenting.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Well, like you said, you're like in the thick of it.
You're trying to provide foryour family, You're trying to be
present as possible.
While you're doing that,Probably getting an education,
you know, and there's maybe kidsconstantly joining the family.
So, you know, there's alwaysthat dynamic of you know
pregnancy and trying to handlenew kids coming and trying to

(13:14):
keep kids alive.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Really that's right, just deal with the day in, day
out, and there's so many thingsoutside of our control inside
that I traveled for my career.
For a long time I was reallyinvolved in controls and
automation and food and beverageindustry and worked for a
company out of Colorado andcontinued to work for them when
I moved here.
But the person that felt themost of that was definitely my

(13:37):
son, and I really tried to makeup for that with quality of time
and when I was home, I was homeand I took the time to spend
with him and even it's funny tosay this but even you know, in
his childhood the smartphone haschanged a ton, right, and so
being involved and being morepresent was easier than than it
is now, um, still possible.

(13:58):
But so I think, from his aspect, when he talks to me about it,
I think he really loved hischildhood.
But, man, I, I traveled a lot.
I was traveling, you know,seven, eight months out of every
year for until he was probablyseven or eight years old, and so
, whereas that, you know, that'swe, now we're talking about
three to four weeks or something, and some of those are just

(14:21):
personal trips with my wife nowthat my, my five-year-old deals
with, so it's so totallydifferent.
Yeah, so different.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
So so when you were about that age um, we were
talking a little bit earlier youkind of started following your
dad around at like age eight.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
I did.
Yeah, I think you know heprobably wouldn't even quantify,
you know, following him aroundearlier than that, but at times
there were times where I'd go towork with him and honestly he
would.
You know he did a lot of directto residential consumers.
He'd be at a customer's house,right.
You get a call to go out andpick somebody's breakers that

(14:57):
weren't working or whatever, and, depending on the day,
sometimes that meant I just satin the truck while he went in.
Sometimes I'd get to goparticipate.
But I think my early memoriesare from about eight and at that
point I was, you know enoughthat I could kind of he could
kind of trust what I was goingto do Right, and understood that

(15:18):
I was going to listen tocommands and not just, like I
don't know, just start jumpingon somebody's couch or something
as a toddler or whatever.
Hand you the right screwdriver,maybe, hopefully.
Hand him the right screwdriver,hand him a screwdriver.
Whether it was right or not, Idon't know, but yeah, so I, you
know, early on, went with him.
My brothers had all kind ofdone that as well and I loved it

(15:41):
.
I loved getting involved,working with my hands.
I liked watching my dad workwith customers, work with.
You know some of the I some ofmy good memories were going into
the electric wholesale supplyin Orem back in the day in the
mornings because they'd havedonuts in there and as an
eight-year-old I'm like, let'sgo get parts so I can get some
donuts and and go in.

(16:01):
And he, you know, my dad is.
He's a very memorable uhcharacter for, and so people
knew him, he was likable andhe's very kind person and so it
was fun.
It was kind of like hey,everybody knows my dad in this
place, this is a fun place to beand and he did, you know, teach
me, teach all of us, that kindof this customer service kind of

(16:24):
style that we still have atHaupt Electrical of treating
clients right, making sure thatthey're taken care of.
And so that was huge from ayoung age to go out and see him
do that and see the work.
I mean, as we bring on newinterns.
It's funny all the time becausemy son started really young too
.
But what's interesting is, youknow, you bring an 18, 19 year

(16:48):
old kid in which I can call hima kid in my 40s, I guess right
and they, if they haven't beenaround, construction that it my
son.
That was 12.
Yeah, he wasn't necessarily ahuge impact on the project, but
he learned these parts and bythe time he was 18 he became
really.
He was becoming a very goodelectrician because he'd spent

(17:09):
enough time just looking at thedifferent things that we use,
and in electrical I feel like weprobably have almost the most
vast array of material that youcan think of, compared to some
of the other trades that we dealwith.
And that was something that Ifelt early on in my career that
I could identify with thatquicker because of my early just
involvement in that, and thenI've seen that for my son as

(17:32):
well.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
So you became proficient quite early 12.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I mean early on.
I mean especially with, likewiring, wiring a home.
We didn't do, we didn't do alot of that.
But there were times where he'dleave me and say, hey, finish
these three bedrooms out and getthis bathroom wired, and at 12,
I could figure out and do thatpretty well.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
I don't know that it was always right, but it was
close.
Ocean never showed up on thejob site to see a 12-year-old
wiring a house.
That's probably for the best,for sure.
Well, that's pretty coolinfluence to be able to follow
in your dad's footsteps and loveit Right.
I think maybe there's a lot offamily businesses out there
where you feel like you'repressured to kind of follow the
family track, um, especially ifthere is that pressure, um, but

(18:20):
it sounds like this wassomething that you just really
clicked with and that influenceof your dad was a healthy
influence to just say, hey, thisis a cool lifestyle and I love
the business yeah, yeah, that'sright.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, it was definitely a big piece of what's
continued to make me who I amin my, in my personal life, in
my business so real quick, um,just so like listeners.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah know, and can be familiar with this.
So you, you now run HauptElectrical and you employ 50
people.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yeah, just under 50 people right now.
So yeah, and started thatbusiness in 2008 and Very cool.
That economic boom period.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
That was actually a great time to start.
It was.
It was a hard time the firstyear or two, but after that you
had an upcycle.
I think there's a lessonlearned in what you said for
your dad and you, and that isyou know, we've talked on the
podcast a lot about creatingexperiences.
You know emotional ties to ourkids that they'll remember right

(19:21):
and that will allow them andteach them principles that they
can teach their kids.
And a lot of times we're tryingto think outside the box when
we're creating those experienceswhen, in reality, if we just
involved our kids more in ourlives whether you bring them to
work sometimes or whether you'redoing work with them at the
house on the weekends or takingthem to the ranch think about

(19:42):
your normal day and you canincorporate some pretty amazing
things in a normal run of themill day.
You know one of the things I'vedone with my kids and I forget
this sometimes and I get back toit, but I'll just ask them well
, how was the customer servicethere, what we went through,
how'd the waiter do?
How did that?
Whatever, it is right, whateverwe're doing how did that go?

(20:06):
How was the service there thatkind it is right, whatever we're
doing.
How did that go?
How was the service there, thatkind of stuff right and just
making them aware of stuffthat's going on throughout your
day?
How did dad handle that?
Do you think dad was nice?
Or was I a little short withthat person?
You know, whatever it might be,you know, are we aware?
Are you being aware in anygiven situation?
You know, I try to teach mykids that, like you, need to be

(20:33):
aware what's going on right,what's what's happening and I so
I think it's cool that your daddid that and you've done that
with your kids.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
I think the the social skillsthat are learned as we see and
interact cause there's a feelingthere but we don't always
discuss what it was Right.
And then also, you know, I dothink we're all kind of looking
for this big thing that we'regoing to do, which is great.
You know, I think there's somesome fun big things that we've
we've been able to do with ourkids, but I think, when it comes

(20:57):
down to it, when I look back atmy past experience, there's
quite a few I mean, there'squite a vast amount that I don't
remember Right, but there's alot of these little things that
I remember about my dad like,and these experiences that I had
and watching him, and I don'tknow that we did the best job of
always discussing it, but Ithink we're learning in the
background either way, but whenyou can have that discussion, it

(21:19):
just it's another impact.
And I was.
I was talking to somebody on myway up here about I said I had
an opportunity to take mydaughters to go to go meet uh,
to go meet someone, a celebrity,let's say.
But um, and you know I had thisintroduction to be able to do it
, but what was interesting washe was just very, he was very
nice, um, and he was, he was, uh, talked to my daughters for a

(21:43):
little bit and just super, uh,just easy to relate to.
And so we and we, so we talkedabout that afterwards and and
and this specific person isgiving back a lot to the
community and he's looking forways to serve inside of his uh,
new fame that he has.
And it was interesting to seewhat you typically think kind of

(22:05):
a new 20 something famousperson, how they might react.
And then this person, so wetalked about that, right, we
talked about why is it feeldifferent?
Oh, cause he's, he's selfless,he's giving back, he's pushing
time out towards these biggercharitable organizations and so,
yeah, that that wasn't a bigimpact for me and which was just
basically my kids riding fromMapleton to Heber with me, and

(22:26):
which was just basically my kidswriting from Mapleton to Heber
with me seeking an event for anhour and a half and then writing
back, and it's like I'llremember that We'll see if they
do or don't.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
But I think just asking questions makes them
aware I get too preachy.
My kids will tell you that forsure.
Right, I'm sitting herelistening to our conversation.
All you have to do is askquestions there.
You know, why do you think thatwent well?
Why do you think that person,how did they come across?
You know, whatever it might beRight, but, like I can tell from

(22:53):
your dad already, he taught youhow to work hard.
Whether he made you aware onpurpose or not, you watched him
do it.
You did that with your kids.
He was.
You mentioned multiple timeshow kind he was.
He was a big personality.
Everyone liked him.
So that's going to fall to youand to your kids, right?
Just being kind to people forno reason other than that's who

(23:14):
you are, kind of a thing, yeah,what?

Speaker 3 (23:20):
are some other things like that.
You feel like your parents gaveyou, that you're trying to give
your kids.
Yeah, I would say, you know,kind of skewing over to my mom's
side a little bit, is just so.
A lot of people, like I said,knew my dad and big personality
and he's, he's, he's taken onthis role where he likes to do
magic for people, which is funny, and so he's, he's continued to
do that and he's, he's humorous.
He's got a lot of kind ofone-liner style jokes right that

(23:41):
I found funny a long time agomaybe not so much anymore and
you know, I think my kids feelthat for me as well, but my
mom's got this real wit abouther and a sense of humor that
just didn't take anything evertoo seriously and I think that's
a big piece that I'm trying toget through to my kids and I
think you've got to be carefulwith it because we my wife and I

(24:02):
do tend to be sarcastic andthat can.
That's not always the bestapproach, right, and so we
definitely work on that a littlebit and try to be, um, less
sarcastic but just kind of workthrough things.
But that's been a big thing forfor me, my mom, um, early on she
just taught me this sense ofhumor.
So one of her, her practicaljokes that she played on all of

(24:24):
us kids is you know, you're,you're putting together a snack
or whatever a meal before themeal, and getting stuff out of
the fridge and putting a platetogether, whether it's leftovers
or whatever, and, and a lot oftimes she wouldn't be in the
kitchen.
And so the home that they livein now they there's, they've
been there since 1970 and inSpringville, and so same same
family home, and anyway youputting this together, and then

(24:47):
suddenly you kind of turn aroundand my mom would be in the room
but the plate of food you werepreparing was nowhere to be
found and she just kind of keepsilent about it.
And then you're like mom,where'd you put my food?
And she had like hidden it in acupboard or something.
When your back was turned, itwas like little things like that
hand you a piece of licoriceand she'd pull it out of your
hand.
Or she'd pick me up from thejunior high and as I went out to

(25:09):
get in the car she'd startdriving away and right, and
you're in the hatch from an eggsyndrome land where you don't
want people even know you haveparents and your parents teasing
you, and it just taught me alot, and probably my kids don't
love that.
I do that, but I think they willlater, because it gave me a
little bit thicker skin and alsojust made me realize that you

(25:30):
got to take things.
Some things are very seriousand you can't really apply humor
to them, but most of the timeyou can, I feel like, and so
that was a that was a big thingfor me, seeing her just just do
that and and enjoy that, andthat's something I'll always
remember about my mom is is herher sense of humor, and so and I
think specifically with thisbig personality that my dad is

(25:53):
most people see my mom.
She's five foot two, she's verysweet, kind person as well, but
they don't know the sense ofhumor the way I do, and so
that's another piece that I findvery endearing is that all of
us children and grandchildrenknow grandma a different way
than the rest of the world.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
So I love that.
I think we've talked about thison the podcast and I usually
call it happiness as a choice,but I think you could make that
a much bigger conversation, inthat you can really decide your
attitude in any given situation.
Now there's times where it'sappropriate just to be sad or to
be serious or to whatever right, of course.
But sometimes, when to be sador to be serious or to whatever,
right, of course.
But sometimes when you're sad,you're serious, you're stressed,

(26:31):
one of the best things to getyou right out of that is a
little wit and a little humor.
Right, that's right.
And I've, I've tried to remindmy kids of that, like where dad
was stressed and I wasn't actingthe way I should have behaved.
And now I'm gonna do the, dothe prank, like I'm sorry kids,
I was stressed but we're good,right, and I pull forward when

(26:53):
they're trying to get in.
Or you know, I'll, uh, I'llpretend that my car won't go
until one of them gives me akiss.
Well, for my, for my, for mygirls or my wife right, Just
little things like that just totry to say wait, timeout, we're
in charge.
We're in charge of how we feel,what we do, how we behave.
So let's take a moment andchange the paradigm of the

(27:16):
emotion that we have been in.
So I think that's really cool,yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
And we're constantly doing those things specifically
with our daughters in theirteenage years.
Right now they're really easyto bug.
So far, right, my wife and Iwere speaking in accents and
they were not having it, but wewere, we were just enjoying it
and, and you know, just kind ofpushing through those pieces
with them.
And it's like these are thingsthat you, you remember, and you,

(27:40):
you, I think you feel themdifferently later in life too.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah, think you feel them differently later in life
too.
Yeah, one of the things, corey,that you said earlier, that I
just very recently had apersonal experience with but
I'll kind of go back to it wasNational Daughters Day, and so I
picked up my daughter fromschool and she opened the door
and I'm like, guess what, it'sNational Daughters Day and I'm
like, should we go to lunch?
So we went to lunch and we weresitting there talking and you
know she's now 13 years old andwe had kind of a similar

(28:09):
experience.
Like you, Mike, when she waslittle, I had the opportunity to
be home with her a lot whileher mom went to school.
And I said what is yourfavorite memory of us?
And she sat there and thoughtabout it for a minute and she

(28:30):
said probably doing laundrywhile listening to Johnny Cash
and going to the UPS store andlooking at the funny cat cards
with you while you picked uppackages.
Yeah, I'm like that's yourfavorite of of your whole life,
of me and you and she's like,yep, I think so.

(28:52):
So it doesn't.
And I'm like it's notdisneyland, it's not building a
cabin together, it's not any ofthose.
You know, any of the vacationsthat we've been on.
No, it was me sitting her inthe laundry basket and carrying
her up the stairs on a fullthing of laundry While we
listened to Johnny Cash likethat's, and she was like three

(29:16):
four.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
We should all go home and ask our kids that right.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
That's a great insight.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
It's great Like.
What should I be doing more of?
Is what the real question isright?

Speaker 1 (29:29):
It Like what should I be doing more of is what the
real question is?
Right, it's not.
It's not what your favoritememory is.
My wife wants me to fold morelaundry.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
So don't tell her that whole story.
Well, that was, that was, thatwas my role at that point and
and I remember it like just sovividly, you know, with like we
were, we would dance to RogerMiller and and Johnny Cash and
I'd fold laundry and she'd jumparound on the bed at the same
time.
You know, and like at 10 yearslater, that's her best memory of

(29:55):
us.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
I think it's our insight to our kids seeing us
kind of at our best too, when wecan have that playful piece.
We're also tackling I mean backto what you said is just
looking at integrating them intoour daily life and not like
looking for a time for an event.
It's like that's what you weredoing in that moment and I felt
that as a kid, and our kids feelit, but when you're close to it

(30:18):
it's hard to remember it, causewe're like trying to think of
that next big thing that we cando with them.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Sometimes you want some alone time, right, but how
hard is it to be like?
I got to run to the hardwarestore.
Hey, bud, you want to run withme?
Yeah, you know.
And and go into the hardwarestore with dad could be a core
memory for him.
Yeah, if you do it multipletimes, right.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
And just snag a little treat at the register or
something for him for comingwith you.
But I think a lot of timeswe're just like nah, I just I'm
just going to run to the storereal quick, I'll be right back.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, that's true.
It's easy to just kind of kindof duck out and and then there's
times where you just truly needit to be just you.
That's very true.
There are.
There are a lot of times whereit's just more convenient, right
, and I mean, I think about thatinside of processes, inside the
business of what of that,inside of processes, inside the
business of what of what we'redoing, but also the process of

(31:09):
being a parent that, yeah, it'sprobably easier for me to clean
the house than for my kid.
It will look probably a littlebetter.
We're teaching things right,we'll get done faster, too, yeah
, if.
I ran to the hardware store onmy own, it probably would be
faster, especially if I'm takingmy five-year-old, that I've got
to throw in a car seat and helphim find his shoes and all
these different pieces.
But we're teaching where ourimportance lies, and teaching

(31:30):
them.
You know that's what we're alltalking about.
It's been passed down.
If I took my son or daughter tothe hardware store or wherever
more and more often, how muchmore likely are they to do the
same for their kids.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
I don't know the stats, but I'm sure it increases
, and I'm going to do my mom afavor, because she's going to
ask me this question after shelistens to this podcast.
So, mom, I'm going to tell youright now.
It was when I was a little boyand she threw me on the back of
her 10 speed Schwinn bicycle.
She bought a special seat forme to ride and we rode

(32:07):
everywhere Like we she would.
We would ride for miles andmiles and miles, and I would
just sit on the back and enjoythe ride, and we went everywhere
together like pre-kindergarten.
So that was her, just includingme, right?
What are yours?

Speaker 1 (32:25):
What would you say?

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Oh, early core memories.
I remember my mom trying to goout and adventure and my mom to
this day is horrible withdirections and finding places.
I mean, I thought to get fromSpringville area to the Hogle
zoo was the most complicatedroute in the world until I was

(32:47):
in my twenties and I'm like, howdid you mess this up every time
, mom?
But what I remember is shedidn't have GPS.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
She didn't have GPS.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
So there were some setbacks, but it was so funny
because it would take us threehours to get to the zoo and we'd
go, you know, once a year.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
So we were going all the time.
This is a positive memory foryou.
Is that what I'm?

Speaker 3 (33:04):
hearing.
It is what you're hearingbecause you know.
What was interesting is justhow my mom dealt with it.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
That's what I was going to ask.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
I'm not saying that I deal with those same situations
as well as her.
Sometimes I don't she was stillgoing to do it.
It wasn't going to deter herfrom doing it, even though she
knew she struggled with it andobviously the technology didn't
help at the time either, but shemade.
She made the best of it, right,she?
We would always pack a nicelunch.

(33:30):
We'd have all these nice snacksthat we'd bring, and and I
remember just being wellprepared and knowing that this
is going to be a day longjourney to get there, because we
probably won't be able to findit.
But I remember many differentadventures that we went on with
mom that were like that.
And I remember also just thingswith my dad.
He made a big effort to makesure that, hey, if we were going

(33:52):
to move from California to Utah, all my kids are going to learn
how to ski.
And skiing was definitelycheaper in the 90eties and
eighties, but still not cheap,and we didn't have a lot of
money.
But they they made sure that weall were able to go skiing a
couple of times a year, and Istarted from a young age and and
that's something that I'm likethat took a lot for him to be
able to do that for eight kidsand and to put the money into

(34:15):
that.
And I think, all in all, when Ilook at everything, I think the
experiences of most of mychildhood were not on a lot of
money.
You know, we, we, when wetraveled, it was to family's
homes so that we could stay intheir backyard and a tent or, if
they happen to have a spareroom, somebody was in there and,
um, so you know gas, money andand time, and so I, I think that

(34:39):
would be the, the big, the bigthings that I, you know gas,
money and time, and so I thinkthat would be the big things
that I you know.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
It's funny, it's both your memories that didn't take
money or not much?
Yeah, not much.
Isn't that funny.
You think your kids would careabout that, but they don't.
I think if I asked my kids,their memories would be.
I'm going to have to ask themnow, but their memories would be
similar, Like it was somethingsimple.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yep.
What about you, corey, my dad,I'm not letting you off.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
The people that have heard the podcast would kind of
know.
But my dad was my footballcoach and basketball and,
looking back, I knew he had notime for that but he did it
anyway and it was special,really special, like all through
little league, both sports, sothat was pretty spectacular.

(35:24):
That's a big time commitment.
My mom it was.
She drove us everywhere, right,so we were in the car all the
time and I'm not saying thatevery time.
That was a great memory.
But I look back and I there's Ithink it's more of an
appreciation now of man drivingand driving, and driving and
driving.
Whatever it took.

(35:44):
You know she very selfless womanand um, and then actually, for
with her we had a, we had, um,some trips.
I remember a trip when I wasyoung to Washington DC and it
was just me and her and that wasspecial.
Now that's a bigger one, sure,but it was really special.
It was kind of like, and Ithink for her, if she was here
she would probably say it wasone of her favorites too, and

(36:08):
the why was because she didn'thave to be mom, she could be a
little bit more friend.
Yeah, and I feel that waysometimes too when I'm on trips
with the kids, even a road trip.
It doesn't need to be go on anairplane or even a date night
right, where you're just doingsomething one-on-one and you
don't have to only be dad, youcan be their friend.

(36:31):
I think that it's easier asthey get older and move out and
you can start becoming more oftheir friend.
But it's hard when they're athome.
You're dad first, appropriately.
Yeah, sure, I think a lot ofparents actually are friends
first and I think that'sactually a problem that we have
sometimes in society.
I agree.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
Anyway, all right.
So both of you said somethingabout your mom and dad, so I've
been thinking about my dadbecause I just mentioned my mom.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, you better yes.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
My dad used to bring me to salt lake because he's an
antique hound and he collectsthings like old automobile and
soda memorabilia and stuff.
So he would take me to all theantique shows and all the
antique shops and told me aboutthis randy record, randy's
records, and we would alwaysstop at crown burger on the way
home.
Now and like he just let me tagalong.
Yeah, he wasn't doing anythingextra, it was what he was going
to do.

(37:22):
We would go to car shows and wewould come to Salt Lake on
Saturdays and that was.
That was what he.
That's probably my best memoryof my dad.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
So what do you guys do to connect with your parents?
Now, this is not a normalconversation that we've had on
the podcast.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's a good question.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
I think Yours are getting a teeny bit older.
I mean, they're yeah, they are.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
Yeah, no, my dad's 87 .
Oh yeah, he's, yeah, sodefinitely lucky to still have
him.
He's still in pretty good shapefor 87.
I feel like he's showing itmore in the last couple of years
even.
But he's still up and movingaround.
I feel like he's showing itmore in the last couple of years
even but he's still up andmoving around.
But you know they live close tome.

(38:05):
Oh, that's nice.
So I try and spend a lot oftime over there and so quality
time with them and schedulinglittle things Like my mom just
loves to walk, so when I go overon Sundays then I go on a walk.
Oh, that's a great one and we'lltake the kids and stop at a
park and let the kids play atthe park, which the teenagers
aren't as big into the park butthe five-year-old is, you know,

(38:25):
he's still in that zone and sodoing that, my dad loves to play
chess, so that's an easy onethat we can sit back and play
chess and enjoy, enjoy that andjust the family dinner.
So we go, we have family dinnerat my mom's house every other

(38:46):
week on Sundays, and so that's,that's a big place for not only
me to connect with them, but forthem to connect with my wife
and my kids.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
My mom and dad are going to listen to that and be
like where?

Speaker 3 (38:51):
are you?

Speaker 1 (38:54):
I asked that because I need to do a better job of
like being consistent.
So I work with my dad every day, yeah, and so I think my mom
kind of gets you know we should,we need to spend more time with
her, but I'm with him all thetime.
So in my mind, subconscious,I'm like I see him all the time.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
My mind will remind me no, you don't.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
So I've actually started saying, hey, let's take,
let's take mom and dad on trips, or let's just take I took my
mom just my mom with me and myson to Wimbledon a couple of
years ago and that was veryspecial for me and, I think, for
her too, for her too.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
I saw her posts.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
She loved it.
So I do think we we often arewe're constantly thinking about
our lives, our careers, our kids, getting them where they need
to be, get him to whatever,right.
We and I think we all kind ofoverschedule probably a little
bit with our kids, trying togive them the best life we can.
But I think sometimes for meI've I haven't done as good a

(39:52):
job as saying, well, what aboutmy parents?
Like, invite them to more, getthem to more stuff?
Right, and they're relativelyyoung, so I don't think of them
as like, yeah, not being here,but they're around 70 now and so
I'm starting to have that, eventhough they're very healthy and
they can do whatever, it's notgoing to be the same in 10, 15

(40:13):
years, it's just not.
And so I think them having timewith my kids, them having time
with us, it's an important partof being a good gentleman.
If you're going to, you got totake care of your family, right?
Kind of a thing.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah, I think it's still an emphasis for many
people here, but in othercountries maybe even more so and
maybe we've lost that a littlebit more here, and whatever
however that comes across, but Ithink it's important to
continue that?

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Yeah, why is it more important?
Go a little bit more into that.
Other countries.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Well, I mean, you see the generational care that's
given in a lot of Asiancountries or Latin American
countries where it's notuncommon for them to live
together, and now I feel like wejust don't even consider the
fact and that's maybe tooabsolute.
There's many people that dothat here, right?
No, I think you're right, but Ithink, percentage-wise, there's

(41:05):
more people here that are notable to do that, and I think
partially it's because it wasn'tdone before them and before
them and for them.
That's basically all of whatwe've been talking about is
we're learning from parents,grandparents, and you can
deviate that plan and add yourown things in, but if you don't
do it early enough, it's notgoing to not going to catch on
quite the quite the same.

(41:26):
And so, yeah, I think that Idon't know, I I think there's
also like a well, I know there'sa fear of death too, and just
thinking about the fact thatwe're going to die, or watching
like people some people don'teven want to be around someone
that's older because it scaresthem.
It's, and it's weird to seethat the changes in somebody in

(41:47):
20 years.
But I think, uh, it's a bigpiece of what we should be doing
is thinking about that.
That's around the corner at anymoment.
People, uh People unexpectedlydie, and it's not necessarily
the conversation we want to havewith our kids every day, but I
think it's smart to think aboutit because most people you know

(42:09):
the regrets after someone diedis that they didn't do more
while they were alive.
And when you don't think aboutthat they're going to die, then
it's easy to kind of hold backand say, well, there'll be time,
there'll be time for that.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
I have a neighbor who works in a long-term care
facility and she said that's herbiggest pet peeve is she'll go
to the funerals of these peoplethat she cares for for years and
then she'll hear the familiesstand up and say how much they
loved him and she says in hermind it's like where were you?

(42:45):
Then she's like the long-termcare facilities are the
loneliest place on earth.
Nobody comes.
That's sad, but I think you'reright.
I think a lot of it is like thereflection of our own mortality
.
Yeah, you know, and and beingaround, being around age and and
death is is hard Boy.

(43:07):
What a downer at the end of thepodcast, right?
Well, no but it's, it's animportant conversation because
we're talking about, like ourparents and our grandparents,
like I'm still lucky enough tohave two of my grandparents
around that I love.
Oh yeah, that's amazing.
My kids have gotten to knowthem and like they're super
close with them and so like whata huge blessing.

(43:28):
But I think it's an importantconversation to have.
Yeah, for sure, and it gets usall thinking a little bit about
how we can connect not just withthe next generation but with
the past generation.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Well, I was going to ask Mike about the five-year-old
Was that a planned event or wasthat a oh, or is that not
something you want to talk?

Speaker 3 (43:47):
about?
No, we can talk about it.
It was planned.
So we my wife did have just badpostpartum depression after our
second daughter and so we hadwanted another one.
But we were just concerned,right, sure, mental health, mom,
that's very real.
Okay Is real.
And at the end of the day, nothaving another child, I was okay

(44:10):
with that, and both of us were.
But we, we hadn't really justshelved it and said that we're
done.
It was more just like hey,let's.
And so honestly, seven yearslater, I I know we hadn't talked
about it and shelved it, but inmy mind I'd kind of shelved it.
I was like that's over.
But she was like I think weneed to do one more.
I'm, I'm in a better spot, Ithink we can, we can do this.

(44:30):
You know, financially we're ina better spot.
A lot of different things kindof added up.
And so we did that and Icouldn't think of another
amazing thing much more amazingthan my five-year-old.
I love all my children, but Ifeel like it is keeping me young
and just giving me thatexperience of I'm.

(44:51):
Actually kind of feel like whatmy dad must've felt like with a
young son and a later age.
He was a little older than me,but I think I was 39 when my son
was born and he was, I think,44.
So not not too far off,honestly, and so I remember
feeling kind of like a grandpadad in the moment.

(45:12):
But it's yeah, it was a plannedevent and it's been.
It's been awesome, very cool.
Yeah, Very cool.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
Well, what a fun conversation.
I feel like we've had a goodconversation.
That's been enlightening for meand hopefully, if you are
listening to the podcast today,you learn something that you can
take and apply in your life andmake your family better, make
the legacy in your familystronger, maybe start a few new
traditions and a couple of goodquestions to ask kids.
Mike, at the end of everypodcast we ask our guests what

(45:45):
they think it means to be agentleman.
Would you mind answering thatquestion for us?
I can do that.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
I can do that to the best of my ability.
I honestly think being agentleman is being somebody that
other people can look up to,and I think that it's an
important piece of being agentleman to really be able to

(46:09):
understand differences.
I think we're kind of in a dayand age where we're kind of
supposed to think everybody'slike too much the same, and I
think one of the big differencesthere is we can acknowledge
differences, but we don't needto do it with hate or judgment.
I think we can look atdifferences and acknowledge it

(46:31):
but still have love for theother person on the other side
and feel inclusive.
And so I really think, in themodern day of being a gentleman,
that that's a big piece of whatwe're trying to do is that,
whoever we're interacting with,that we try and understand.
You think of the true whatgentleman type acts that we talk
about, opening a door forsomebody or what, the chivalry

(47:05):
of throwing down a coat andletting someone.
But I think what all that getsto is it's you know, we talked a
bit about kindness and I thinkI've had a saying that you know
came to me from somewhere else,but I really identify and it's
this thought of being kind, notnice, and that kindness is a lot
deeper than being nice, kind tosomebody that's going to tell

(47:26):
you you've got a mustard on yourlip, you know, and and not let
you go past.
So I think those are parts ofbeing a gentleman.
Is is not just, it's not justsurface level anymore, and that
we've really got to dive deeperthan that and we've got to give
people kind of their own, theirown time and their own spot and
and be okay to disagree, but todisagree amicably and with love.

(47:51):
And and I think usually when itgets outside of gentlemanly, I
guess, if that's a word is whenbigger groups are the wrong
platform to talk about something, because pretty much when I
meet with somebody that may havecompletely different religious,
political affiliations, allthese different things, if I'm
one-on-one with that person,I've never got in an argument

(48:14):
with the person in that space,and I'm sure people can, but I
haven't, and so I think that's abig piece is when we have an
issue, rather than shouting itout on a platform, finding a
smaller space to kind of discussthe similarities and and to
work through things.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
So long answer, but I think that's being a gentleman
in today's society you know, Ithink we have more and more of
us that are talking about justbeing kind, even when you have
differences just showing love toother people and trying to see
both sides, even if you don'tagree.
And hopefully there's enough ofus out there that are having

(48:53):
those kinds of conversations,because I hear that more and
more and more, right, there'sthe black and white and the
right and the left, and you nameit on a million different
issues.
But I am hearing from more andmore people well, let's just
start with kindness and thenwork on those issues.
That's right, and the morepeople that spread that word,
the better.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
Yeah, shout out to our good friend Curtis Bennett I
was thinking of CurtisThepowerofkindorg.
One kind act a day.
If you haven't heard of that,look it up.
It's amazing.
Trying to get that into mydaughter's junior high, actually
, oh, that'd be good.
So, mike, thank you.
Thanks for your perspective,great answer, your honesty, and

(49:35):
amen to your definition of agentleman.
And amen to your definition ofa gentleman.
If anything resonated today inthe podcast to you, our
listeners, think about somebodythat you can share it with, and
with technology the way it is,it's pretty easy to.

(49:55):
You can share the idea, you canshare a quote, you can share a
link to the podcast.
Just send it to somebody andsay, hey, I listened to this and
I thought of you, love you.
It's pretty easy.
So we appreciate you spendingyour time listening to the
podcast If you're on a drive orwith your family.
Thanks for taking the time toinvest in yourself and your

(50:19):
family by listening to thepodcast.
We appreciate you.
Hope you have a great week.
I'm Kirk Chug and.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
I'm Corey Moore.
Go make some family memoriestogether.
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