In a world craving positive transformation, Curtis Bennett emerges as a radiant stream of hope and inspiration. This podcast invites kindness advocates, community leaders, and parents alike to embark on a profound journey exploring the unsung power of generosity woven into our daily lives.
Introducing the Non-Profit 'One Kind Act a Day' Curtis tells heartwarming stories of how simple acts of kindness are reshaping the tapestry of communities across the country. Curtis delves deep into personal tales and new initiatives that are redefining the essence of human connection in business, politics, and social fabric. With 'One Kind Act Today,' learn how the silent revolution of kindness can speak volumes and forge pathways to unity.
To learn more about "One Kind Act a Day", visit thepowerofkind.org and sign the kindness pledge.
Check out the show on any of your favorite platforms and give us a like and follow if you like our content!
Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gentlemen-project-podcast/id1536669294
Audible
https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Gentlemen-Project-Podcast-Podcast/B08LG4HBLR?action_code=ASSGB149080119000H&share_location=pdp
Amazon Music
https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/6a91bd19-279b-41f5-bab2-b2cecfed7beb/the-gentlemen-project-podcast
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/thegentlemenprojectpodcast
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/thegentlemenprojectpodcast/
Twitter
https://twitter.com/gentprojectpod?lang=en
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-gentlemen-project-podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the gentlemen project podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Kirk Chug and I'm Corey Moore today in the
podcast room we have the man,the myth, the legend, none other
than Mr Curtis Bennett, andwe're taking two Right we're.
This is the second recordingtoday.
This is our first recording.
It wasn't working.
(00:24):
Great, that's fine.
Curtis has a big smile on hisface, going to do the last half
hour or we're again, so that'sgreat because we had a great
conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It was one way or the other.
We had a conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So anybody that follows the podcast knows that
Curtis was one of the firstprobably 10 guests on the
podcast, and he was that becausewhen Corey and I got together
and we said who should we haveon the podcast, that is a
gentleman that would espousegentlemen qualities, curtis
Bennett was at the top of thatlist for both of us.
(00:58):
Curtis has been involved in alot of really cool projects
throughout his career and hasbeen a leader.
He's been in the service of hisfellow being almost constantly
throughout his life and as longas I've known him, I've seen
what he's done and I just wantto follow Curtis around and just
be on his coattails, becauseeverything he does and
(01:20):
everywhere he goes, it seemslike magic happens.
And he is involved with a neworganization that we're going to
talk about today, extensivelycalled One Kind Act Today, and
it's so cool.
I know more about it now than Idid about 45 minutes ago and
(01:42):
I'm super excited for everybodyto hear this and get involved
with this initiative that Curtisis a part of.
It's so cool and welcome Curtis.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
So first of all, let me just tell you thank you for
allowing me to come back.
I am honored to be a secondtimer for the two of you here at
the Gentleman's Project, and Ijust think what you're doing
just works so perfectly hand inglove with what it is I'm trying
to accomplish, and so I thinkthis is for me not only a thrill
(02:14):
, not only an honor, but it's aperfect way for me to be able to
talk about what it is we'retrying to accomplish with One
Kind Act Today.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So, curtis, tell us a little bit about where did One
Kind Act Today come from and whydid you choose this versus
other things you could havechosen?
Because you've been a CEO,you've ran companies, you've
done lots of things in yourcareer, you've done service
missions, lots of lots of things.
Why this?
What interested you and what'sthe origin story of One Kind Act
(02:44):
Today?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So in our community we have a gentleman by the name
of Khazra Simnani, who is a verysuccessful businessman, and
thanks to him and the SimnaniFamily Foundation, we have this
charitable organization One KindAct Today, in 2022, at the
height of COVID and the heightof the weaponization of politics
(03:06):
and COVID, and with riots inthe streets and looting in the
streets and all of thechallenges that we were
experiencing because a nationwas hurting in many respects,
and he woke up one morning andsaid we really have to do
something about this.
We have to accomplish.
We have to do something better,we have to reframe the narrative
(03:26):
, we have to go back to a betternarrative.
And so as he got to lookinginto it, he decided that if we
could get individuals to performone single act of kindness a
day, what would the rippleeffect be, what would that
butterfly effect be, and howcould we change the world?
And it's interesting when I goin and I study kindness and as I
(03:50):
have studied kindness, it'sreally impressive what happens
when a single act of kindness isperformed and how that does
ripple and how it doesreverberate and how it lives on.
And we'll talk about that more.
But he decided that he wasgoing to start this organization
and he had a big pressconference and, interestingly,
I'd been invited by a friend ofmine to attend that press
conference and I had no ideawhat it was all about.
(04:12):
And as I heard him speak, andas I heard our governor speak
and as I heard a doctor speakand and and and extoll the
virtues of kindness and what itwas he was trying to accomplish
and the fact that he had fundedthis in such a way that we'll
never need funding.
We don't seek for donations, wedon't ask for donations.
I get to just focus on theobjective, which is to amplify
the message of kindness.
(04:32):
And I said to myself I'm sittingin that press conference, I
could, I could do this, I couldwork for this guy.
This would be really fun.
Think about it, just being ableto go and be a lobbyist for
kindness for all intents andpurposes and so.
But then I got my t shirt and Igot my yard sign and I went on
home and loved it and I followedit a little bit, but I didn't
(04:53):
think anything more of it untilabout a year and a half later I
got a phone call and it was MrSemnani and he'd done some
research on me and he'd lookedme up and he said would you be
interested in coming and talkwith me?
So I went and visited with me,just flatly said why don't you
come work for me?
Why don't you run this campaign?
Why don't you do this?
And I got to thinking about it.
(05:14):
I thought this is perfect.
This is exactly what I want todo.
This is exactly what I'd liketo try and communicate, not only
to my family but to the world,that we can.
We can do something about this.
And what I really like abouthis attitude is yes, we're going
to change our community and yes, we're going to change
businesses in school, but we canchange the world with this.
And I like that ambition and Ithink that's true.
(05:36):
I think we can change the worldwith this.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You know, I don't, I don't know very many, if any,
charities.
Just to restate what you justsaid, because, in case you
didn't hear that, they don'ttake donations, you don't ask
for donations, they'reself-funded.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Exactly.
In fact, when people ask uswhere can we make a donation, we
say find the charity of yourchoice and go make a donation.
If you want to do make adonation, find a charity of your
choice and go to donate to them.
And so one of the hardestthings for me to do,
particularly when we go in andtalk to schools we'll talk about
this in a few I think.
But when we go in and talk toschools, a lot of them think
(06:14):
well, what's the catch?
What are you going to ask fromme?
Nothing, you know.
We're just going to ask you tobe kind.
You know what's the fee?
There are no fees.
What does he ask?
There is no ask.
We just want to help.
That's all we want to do.
So we get to focus on thatobjective.
How?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
powerful is that?
Tell us about how this programworks in a school.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So schools are our favorite place to be.
It's really so much fun towatch students dive headlong
into the whole concept ofkindness.
When we approach a school, wego to school and we say here are
the benefits of what we knowyou're going to experience.
Here are things that we knoware going to happen.
It's universal.
(06:55):
Almost we can predict it.
First of all, when we do akindness initiative in a school,
we can tell you almostimmediately bullying is going to
be reduced.
Now, if that was the only thingwe accomplished, that'd be
worth a while, and mosteducators feel exactly the same.
But we're going to create abetter learning environment for
the student.
We're going to create a betterteaching environment for the
(07:16):
teacher.
We're going to make parentsfeel more comfortable that their
kids are in a safe environmentand that they're being dealt
with in the way that parentswant their kids dealt with in a
kind, positive, productivemanner.
And so we can tell them thatthese are going to be the
benefits.
And then what we do is we cometo them with a template
guidelines of things that theycould do in a kindness
(07:38):
initiative, but we don't want totell them this is what you
should do, because each schoolis different.
Each school has theirpeculiarities and each school
has their beautifulindividuality.
And so, whether we're talkingabout the students, who are
talking about the educators,whether we're talking about the
administrators, whether we'retalking about the janitor Okay,
because you can have a janitor,for example, you can make a big
(07:59):
difference with the studentsbecause he's so good and kind
and effusive with these kids.
So it doesn't matter.
But you, you go into theseschools and we say to them
here's a template, here's somebest practices, here's some
things that you could do.
Let's tailor, make a programfor you specifically, let's make
something work for you.
We have a particular schoolthat we're working with right
now, an amazing, an amazingschool, and I mentioned this
(08:22):
before.
But their principle is, as faras I'm concerned, wonder Woman.
We should get her a superheroDecree and and I I'm grateful to
know that their educators likeher that are caring for our kids
Well today.
But she started an initiative 22days of kindness in the school.
(08:43):
They wanted to do 10,290 actsof kindness and they came up
with that number because that'show many students they've gotten
, how many People on their staff, and they said in 22 days, we
can do 10,290 acts of kindness.
They were two-thirds of the waythrough and they were at 22,000
acts of kindness.
It stickers on the walls forevery single act that they were
(09:03):
performing.
In one class I walked into had45 30 students.
They had 4500 acts of kindnessand just that that group of kids
.
It's amazing to watch and it'sfun to watch these kids just
jump into it.
They love it.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well, what you think about, you bring about right.
So you're really getting peopleto have this habit of kindness,
and you and I talked about thismonths ago at breakfast.
But I really believe that whatyou think about, you bring about
.
That.
If you choose Kindness, if youchoose happiness, that is a
choice a lot of times.
Not that bad things don'thappen in life, not that you
(09:40):
know there are times to be sadand upset, sure, but most the
time being kind is a choice anda habit without a doubt.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
In fact, one of the things we talked about and I've
really come to to Absolutelyembrace this, this whole concept
that people say you know, I'vebeen doing your kindness
initiative and I've been, I'vebeen committing to this Kindness
pledge and we'll talk aboutthat, I hope.
But it's become second naturefor me.
It's become second nature forme and I was talking with social
psychiatrist, psychologistabout this and he says you know
(10:10):
what I like what they said and Ilike what there's, what they're
accomplishing.
But let's change the the phrasea little bit.
It's not second nature, that'sour first nature.
Our second nature is to defaultto or to choose to be angry or
to choose to be upset or tochoose to be frustrated.
That's not our first nature.
(10:32):
Our first nature, our humanorganism, responds to kindness.
Our human organism is muchhealthier when we're kind.
Our body Responds to the wholeconcept that if I'm kind, I'm
gonna feel less stress, I'mgonna have less anxiety, I'm
gonna be less likely to bedepressed, I'm less likely to
suffer from heart disease, I'mless likely to do any number of
(10:52):
different things.
There even studies out thatsuggest I'm better looking when
I'm kind.
Okay, and I need all the helpthere.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I can know you don't hear.
That's why you're so goodlooking is because you're so
kind.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Well, so, so we've got you know it's, it's part of
our first nature, and so theonly thing I would change about
that is you're you're embracingyour first nature, because our
second nature is to make thechoice To be contemptuous, to be
difficult, to be angry, to beupset.
Okay, so I really love thatconcept.
I'd rather I I'd rather havemore experience with my first
(11:25):
nature and experience with mysecond nature.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I love the way you explain that, because I think a
lot of times People hear kindand they think I'm gonna do
something kind for something forsomeone else and they're going
to benefit because I didsomething kind for them.
And that's kind of where mybrain goes.
It's like, yes, it'd be reallynice to be kind to a lot of
different people because it willhelp their day, it will help
them and their trajectory, andyou know that butterfly effect.
(11:50):
But what actually happens isthe benefit is double-sided,
exactly.
You don't.
You don't realize how good, itmakes you feel to be kind, and
so I love this first natureVernacular like that's.
That's so good that if we canembrace that and say this is,
(12:11):
this is really who I'm meant tobe, and this is the easiest way
to be.
It's.
It's not the, it's not the hardway to be.
This is who I'm, who I'm madeto be.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Studies show that there is nothing in our, in our
evolutionary makeup that isviolent.
That's not part of ourevolution.
Okay, our evolution shows thatit's the kindest, it's a kinder
societies that actually evolvedbetter than those who were
contentious, or or orConfrontive or conflictive.
Those of us who were conflicted, those of us were kinder,
(12:46):
evolved better, evolved morequickly, and so there's nothing
in our evolutionary makeup thatsays we're a violent people.
It's quite the opposite.
And then the other thing that Iwould say is that all Altruism
is reciprocal, altruism, meaningif I'm altruistic, then
(13:07):
altruism is going to reciprocateto me, and so there are
benefits.
And some people say, well, ifyou're only seeking for the
personal benefit, then you'renot being altruistic.
Well, the fact of the matter isit's impossible to avoid the
reciprocal benefits of kindness,and so if I'm going to be kind,
I'm going to receive kindnessin turn, or I'm going to receive
(13:29):
the benefits for that kindness.
So it's not bad for me to thinkI'm going to do it for the good
reasons, it's OK.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
That's good.
So you mentioned about theseinitiatives in schools.
Let's talk about some of theinitiatives in business and then
maybe you could talk about howdo we insert this into politics?
Speaker 3 (13:47):
OK, perfect, we really do like working with
businesses as well.
What's really interesting whenwe go into a business kindness
for all intents and purposes,seen as this out there ethereal,
nebulous type of thing is canwe really get a hold of it?
There is substance to kindness.
There is a lot of substance tokindness.
For example, it takes a lot ofcourage to be kind.
(14:09):
When you have an employer thatis berating you or treating you
with contempt or disrespect,it's really courageous to
respond with kindness.
When you have a client that'sdoing the same thing, it's
really a significant act ofkindness.
When a person makes the choice,I see your disrespect, I feel
(14:31):
your contempt, I'm feeling youranger.
Nevertheless, I'm going torespond with kindness.
So there is a significantsubstance to the whole idea of
kindness.
It's not just something that wecan't touch or feel.
We can see it, we can touch andfeel it.
It's tangible, and so one ofthe things that we like to do
with businesses is we like againto come in and tailor, make a
program for that particularorganization.
(14:52):
We have one organization thatwe're dealing with now.
They made the decision thatthey wanted to do something
internally first, because theyfelt that they couldn't be kind
to their clients and theycouldn't be kind to their
vendors unless they were kind tothemselves, to one another
first.
And so the first phase of theirinitiative is to do an internal
(15:14):
initiative, and they're havinga ton of fun with this Again,
one of the things that I talkabout when we whether we're with
schools or politicalorganizations or anyone we say,
above all, have fun.
Okay, if you're not having fun,then don't do it.
We want you to have fun in thiswhole initiative.
But with these organizations,they love the idea that we can
develop a culture of kindnesswithin our own ranks.
(15:35):
Okay, and then hopefully, wecan communicate that culture of
kindness with our vendors andwith our and vendors.
They almost automatically saywait a minute, I need my
confrontational relationshipwith my vendor in order for me
to get what I want at the priceI want and to be able to beat
them up the way I usually beatthem up.
No, and then we can do thiswith a different paradigm and
(15:58):
see if there's a better way ofaccomplishing this.
So it's an impressive thing towatch as you're looking at an
organization that characterizethemselves as kind, come to the
realization wait a minute, wecould have done better way back
when and we're doing better now,but we can still better, still
do better in the future.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Now talk to us a little bit about politics.
For those of us that followpolitics, we see how divisive
it's become, and for those of usthat think that perhaps that's
the way it's always going to be,give us your thoughts on how
kindness can infiltrate politics.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
So I was sitting in a in a restaurant with a number
of my friends and we weretalking about a lot of different
things.
We were talking about politicsand at the end of the day,
literally everyone kind of threwup their own hands and said
there's nothing I can do aboutit.
And I feel bad for any one ofus who feels like we're in such
a situation that there's nothingthat I can do to make any any
(17:02):
change, and we disagree withthat.
One of the one of the mostcommon forlorn looks that we get
from anybody when we talk aboutthe things that we do is when
we talk about politics, peoplelook at us almost apologetically
and they look at us as thoughwe're we're just deceived that
we can make any kind of changeat all.
(17:23):
It's a few fools, aaron.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Pying the sky.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Right, it's a fools, aaron, I think that you can do
anything within the politicalrealm and we disagree.
There are two initiatives thatI'm particularly fond of and
there are others that I thinkare are wonderful out there.
But one of the initiativesthat's out there is the governor
, spencer Cox, who is a governorof Utah, who has he's the
(17:47):
chairman of the nationalgovernor's association.
I think I called it right, buthe's got an initiative he calls
disagree better, and the wholeconcept is let's get people on
both sides of the table to agreethat they disagree.
But let's all agree that we candisagree better and we can
disagree with respect, and wecan disagree with kindness and
(18:10):
we can disagree productively.
I don't have to agree with youon all points.
In fact, I probably don't agreewith you on many points but
let's figure out a way for us tobe able to do this so that it's
not feeding the fire.
Billy Joel said we didn't startthe fire.
(18:30):
It was always burning since theworld was turning, but we're
doing what we can to put thefire out, and so I really like
that initiative.
The whole concept of disagreeingbetter, I think, is something
that we need to better embrace.
As a people, I don't have toagree with everybody all the
time, but I can choose to makemy response to be something less
(18:53):
contemptuous, less conflictive,so to speak.
Then there's the otherinitiative, that's the Dignity
Index, run by Tim Shriver and agreat team, and what they do is
they actually look at politicalI almost said the word rhetoric
but they look at politicalspeeches, and then they gauge
those speeches based on theirdignity, whether scores low or
(19:16):
high, and it's reallyinteresting.
Somebody can say somethingreally nice about somebody, and
it starts to trend high, butthen they default into the
narrative that we're used tohearing and that the exhausted
majority is exhausted about, andso we need to figure out a way
to change that narrative.
(19:37):
One of the things that he saysthat I really like is that the
only way to cure contempt is tocall it out, and that's what
they do they call out contempt.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
You were talking earlier, Curtis, about people
believing that the reason thatwe see the negative is because
that's what gets clicks, that'swhat drives media right.
Talk to us about that, and howdo we get kindness to drive
clicks?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
do you think?
Great question.
So the statement has been madeto me on a number of occasions
If it doesn't bleed, it doesn'tlead.
Kindness doesn't get clicks,contempt gets clicks,
controversy gets clicks.
In fact, we were talking withsomebody the other day about
conflict entrepreneurs.
You have people out there whoare legitimately conflict
(20:28):
entrepreneurs.
Their job is to create theconflict and then to profit off
of that conflict.
And if there isn't, I don'tknow of an area in our society
greater than the political arenathat is driving conflict
entrepreneurs.
So what can we do?
We need to be kindnessentrepreneurs.
(20:49):
We can decide that we're notgoing to respond in like manner.
We can make the decision thatwe're going to do something
different.
We can disagree better, and sowe talked about that.
I was in visiting my family inGermany last week and we watched
(21:12):
this film.
As I'm watching, I'm wonderingwhere was this film all my life?
And it's Matilda and it's amusical, and what I really liked
was, at the very end, thebullying.
The students were tired of thebullying, they were tired of the
anger, they were tired of thecontempt, they were tired of the
chaos and they were tired ofthe anxiety that they felt.
And they sang the song and itgoes we are revolting children
(21:35):
living in revolting times.
We sing revolting songs usingrevolting rhymes.
We'll be revolting childrenuntil the revolt is done and
what they're saying is we'retired of this, we're not going
to do it anymore.
And so they respond withkindness, they respond with
friendliness, they respond withpositivity and we're going to
revolt with those values as ourweapons, as our arms.
(21:59):
Now revolt has a negativeconnotation, but we can revolt
against this.
We can say that we don't wantto do this anymore.
There was a really interestingbook written out there.
I really encourage anybody toread it.
It's called the Healing Powersof Doing Good and it was written
in 1991 and it shows all of the.
(22:20):
It has all of these studiesthat have occurred as to what
are the healing powers of doinggood.
The reason why he wrote thebook was he wanted to start a
movement.
He wanted people to realizethat there is so much personal
benefit for the human organismwhen we're good that maybe, if
we can convince people that it'sso good for us that we can get
(22:41):
a movement towards kindness okay, towards healthy giving.
Another person wrote a book,arthur Brooks, called Love your
Enemies.
He wrote this book with thesame objective in mind, but,
what's really interesting, bothauthors feel like they failed.
Both authors feel like thatthey failed in their effort to
try to create this movementtowards a better narrative, to a
(23:05):
kinder narrative, to a morepositive narrative, and that's
really unfortunate.
I was in a meeting with ArthurBrooks and he said that he said
my book failed, and I had theopportunity to visit with him
for just a minute afterwards.
I said maybe it failedgenerally, but with me it was
wholly successful.
And he said no, I understandthat, and if we can do that one
person at a time that's reallywhat we're up to.
But there is a movement thatneeds to take place.
(23:28):
There is a revolt that needs totake place.
We need to finally decide.
We don't want to do thisanymore, and so one kind of act
today is I don't want to suggestthat we're starting a
revolution.
We're really starting amovement and we want it to be
positive, we want it to be good.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
So what can you do as an individual or in your home?
How do we work on ourbusinesses?
We can work in our schools.
You have communities that arefocused on this initiative.
What do we do personally and inour home to focus on kindness?
Speaker 3 (24:01):
So, it's really interesting.
There is in this book, theHealing Powers of Doing Good,
these critical steps to healthyhelping.
Okay, first of all, when aperson helps, they have what
they call the helper's high andit's similar.
It was described as beingsimilar to a runner's high,
something I've never experiencedbefore and I do a lot of
(24:22):
running, but I've neverexperienced a runner's high.
But the helper's high is a highthat you get and it kicks in
and it helps.
You feel good about the goodthat you've done and you not
only feel good about it, but youwant to do it more.
In addition to that, there's animmense calm that comes after
the helper's high.
That's the heartwarmingexperience of doing good.
But there were these criticalsteps that they talked about.
(24:45):
What are some things that we cando?
So number one was your kindnesshas to have personal contact.
It's one thing to write a check.
We want people to write checks.
We need people to write checksand we're grateful that they do
but there's no personal contactthere.
We want people to collect foodfor the food bank and they may
assemble a whole bunch of food,or they may gather a whole bunch
(25:07):
of blankets or things.
We need people to do that.
But when we have helping, thatputs me in contact, direct
contact with another individual.
Not only are we having an innerpersonal relationship with that
individual, but we're seeingwhat my kindness may actually
(25:27):
create and what will happen as aresult.
So having that personal contactwith individuals, and so, yeah,
we can say we're going to bekind of one another in the house
and that's good.
But to take our family and togo out and serve at the soup
kitchen is another thing.
That gives our kids and ourfamily a basis upon which they
can understand that there is apersonal contact, that there's
(25:49):
good that can be done.
Frequency is a second thing,and it's not that it has to be
done every day.
One kind act a day, yes, butthat kind of helping doesn't
have to happen every day.
What there has to be in afamily is a culture and an
expectation that we're going todo acts of kindness as a family
and that those are really goodthings to establish in the home.
(26:10):
And so when the time comes thatwe are going to go work at the
food pantry or we are going togo give out coats, we are going
to go do this.
No one is is belly aching andupset about it.
This is because that's theculture of our family, that's
what we do.
Helping strangers is another one.
It's interesting why helpingstrangers has such a huge impact
(26:31):
in the lives of the helper, andthe reason is because they get
to make this choice of what I'mgonna do, what I'm gonna do it,
and there's a self-control thatadds to the experience that says
I wanna go help somebody Idon't know.
What's interesting is when wehelp a family member of a friend
, there's this have to.
I'm obligated, and so there'sthis have to component, and it's
(26:55):
not that it's bad, but thathave to component is taken away.
When I go help a stranger, okay, I'm making the conscious
decision to go help somebody.
I don't know.
The other thing about youthwhat's really interesting with
youth when they go help astranger, what they like about
that concept is I'm helpingsomebody who doesn't know me.
(27:16):
They don't know my frailties,they don't know what my friends
know about me.
I'm starting with a very cleanslate with this individual and
so whatever my self-worth isbased on, what my structure of
friends is is completely out thewindow and I get to start anew
with this individual and thefact that I'm helping them
brings self-worth to me, andthat self-worth brings
(27:37):
self-forgetting, and thatself-forgetting helps us to
become less anxious about someof the challenges that we may be
dealing with.
Empathy is another one, soshared problem.
Just making the effort is animportant thing.
We're not always successful inour efforts to help, and when we
make the effort and we continueto make the effort, even though
(27:59):
some of our previous effortsmay not have been as successful
as we want if we continue on,we'll finally ultimately find
our groove and we'll figure outwhat it is that we do that's
best.
And then the last thing is letgo of results.
When we walk into a situationand we say to ourselves I am
determined that me helping youis gonna change your life, we're
(28:22):
instilling, we're imposing ourwishes on that individual and
that doesn't help them.
We need to let go of theresults and just be happy with
the fact that my efforts to tryand help you at this particular
time may not ultimately lead inyou making a major change in
your life, but I've donesomething good for you and it's
(28:45):
been good for me.
As a result, that makes sense,yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Totally.
If you don't wanna talk aboutthis, you don't have to, but on
the elevator ride up, you weretelling me about something that
your family is doing right now.
That blew me away and I thinkif anybody is going to give
credence or validity to thewords of Curtis today, they're
(29:10):
gonna say, yeah, but what's thisguy doing?
And I know you're the mosthumble guy and you would never
bring this up on the podcast.
So that's why I'm doing it,because I think this is going to
give you more credence with thepeople that are listening today
.
What are you doing right now atyour home?
Showing kindness to others?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So the best way to start with kindness is in your
home.
The best way to start withkindness is with those who you
love the most.
What's really interesting is,oftentimes we are so exhausted.
At the end of the day, thepeople who deserve the most
kindness from us don't often getthat kindness because we're
done or we're exhausted, we'respent, and so the people that
(29:58):
are closest to us and we lovethe most are often the ones that
receive the lesser amount ofkindness from me, for whatever
reason.
So as we were talking, on ourway up the elevator I've got
kids who live at home with us.
One is married with three boysand they're living in our
basement, and one is a daughterand she's married with her
(30:22):
little daughter and they'reliving in the upstairs in a
couple of the rooms.
We were talking about the wholeidea that in the United States
we don't have this familial,communal living down very well,
if you go to just about anyother country in the world, they
embrace families livingtogether.
They embrace families beingtogether as a support to one
(30:42):
another.
And so when our kids are inbetween and we've got a son
who's in between, he's just gothis master's degree and he's
trying to figure things out andwhat they wanna do.
And then we have this daughter.
They just finished hereducation, she's just got a new
job and they're also trying tofigure things out, but home
prices are such and living issuch and it's challenging.
(31:03):
And so they asked if they couldcome live with us until they
get their feet on the ground.
Absolutely, first of all, thislittle granddaughter she's so
much fun to play with.
So those three little boys, andso we have a ton of fun with
them.
But what we do is I don't chargethem rent.
We don't charge them rent.
We're not charging them for thefood.
We're not charging them forutilities.
(31:24):
We're not charging them for theinternet.
We're not charging them foranything.
What we're asking them to do isto take the equivalent of what
they would spend on rent and onfood and put it away.
Save it so that you can savemoney for a down payment for a
house.
Yeah, our expenses has gone upand we're going through a lot
more food and we're goingthrough a lot more laundry soap
than what we were before, but wedon't care.
(31:46):
As mom and dad, we really feellike where our kids are
concerned, we wanna doeverything that we can within
our power not to facilitateeverything so much or to enable
them.
We just wanna help them so thatthey can get their feet on the
ground and have the lives thatthey really wanna have, and so
(32:11):
it's just one of the things thatwe feel like we can do as
parents for our kids.
At some point in time.
We've done that for all of ourkids, except for a daughter
who'll call me up and say youdidn't do it for me, and she's
right, we didn't.
But she's married to anorthopedic surgeon right now, so
it's gonna be all okay.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
So Curtis talked to us about the kindness pledge.
We've talked about that in thepast.
Tell us what the kindnesspledge is, what comes with that?
How do people access thekindness pledge?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
So if anyone wants to help us in growing this
community of kindness and that'swhat we're trying to get people
to do is to join us and tobecome a resident in our
communities of kindness, whetherthat's with your business,
whether it's with your home orwhether it's your church, we
just want you to be a part ofour group, we want you to be
part of our community, and so goto thepowerofkindorg
(32:59):
thepowerofkindorg, and then youhave this option to take the
kindness pledge.
In the kindness pledge, you are, for all intents and purposes,
committing that you're going todo a kind act today.
It doesn't cost anything.
We're not asking anything.
We just want you to be kind.
As a result, you get to opt into receive, if you'd like start
a kit, some things that we justsend to you, that we don't
(33:22):
charge you for them.
We'll send them to you so thatit kind of prompts you to do
kind things.
And then we'll send you, if youopt in, either a text or emails
twice a week wherein we sendyou a quote that's kind of quote
and we send you a kind ofreminder, something that you
could do open the door forsomeone, write a note to
(33:43):
somebody you haven't talked toin a long time, make a phone
call that you've been wanting tomake, call your mom and
whatever it is.
Let's do something kind todayand then again you become part
of our community.
We're hoping to grow it.
What we really found to bereally interesting about this
when you do an email campaign,you get a high number of
(34:07):
unsubscribes.
We don't.
We're at like 0.05% unsubscriberate, because nobody
unsubscribes from kindness ornarside, or we get this
incredible open rate on ouremails.
That is unlike anything I'veever experienced in my days
(34:27):
professionally and that'sheartwarming to see when people
respond in that way.
The same thing is true with ourtexts.
We have very, very, very fewpeople who opt out.
They like what we get.
In fact, we get a lot of emailsback saying we love this quote
or we love this statement and welove it.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Yeah, and sometimes it's not that you have to do
what's in the text.
I get these texts, but it setsyour brain in motion to say I
can't do that right now becauseI'm not with anybody, but I can
do this and search to buildthose habits, yeah, yeah.
So what an incredibleinitiative.
Thank you, I applaud you, Iapplaud the organization.
(35:08):
I hope that everybody listeningwill take action and go to
thepowerofkindnessorg the powerof kind, the power of kindorg,
the power of kindorg and signthe kindness pledge and get
involved.
If you've got a business, aschool, a church, an
(35:29):
organization or just in yourfamily which is the ultimate
goal is to get it to the familylevel right that you'll take
action and follow this man.
If you don't know Curtis, he'sone of the kindest individuals
I've ever met, so he's in theright place at the right time,
(35:51):
doing the right thing right now.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Thank you very much.
I'll end with this one quotethat I really like, and I think
it's true.
It was by a gentleman namedWilliam James and he says can
there be, in general, a level ofemotion so unifying, so
obliterative I love that phraseobliterative of differences
between man and man that evenenmity may become irrelevant?
(36:17):
So I believe there is, and itcan really just simply start
with kindness.
It can obliterate enmitybetween man and man or woman and
woman.
It's that powerful, it canchange the world.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It's awesome.
It also reminds me of thepodcast that we did with Curtis
Morley, where he talked aboutthe difference between nice and
kind.
It's easy to be nice.
Sometimes it takes courage tobe kind.
It takes an emancipator to bekind.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, there is a difference, curtis, and I have
talked about that in the past.
This idea of if you're kind, inmy opinion that's more like
charity, more like true love.
Kindness doesn't mean you don'ttell your children, hey, you
need to do these things and youneed to be accountable.
It doesn't mean you don't havetough conversations with
(37:09):
associates or customers.
You just do it kindly but youdon't be.
Being nice has this connotationof and I think, if you look at
the definitions, if you're justnice, you don't have the tough
conversation, you're just beingnice.
Right, being nice is not whatwe're after.
Being kind where you trulyauthentically want to be your
(37:35):
kids, to be the best they can be.
You can't always be nice, youcan't always be kind.
If you have a tough situationat work and you're morally feel
like you're doing the rightthing, well then you need to be
kind, but you also need to standup for your morals.
So I think to your point.
I think that's a good thing totalk about this idea between
(37:57):
nice and kind, and we want to bekind, not only just
artificially nice.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So the kindest thing we can do is to be truthful to
people.
And there's a difference.
Am I doing a good job?
Oh yeah, you're doing a greatjob, but they're not.
Then there's the difference isjust just look good on me?
Oh yeah, that looks great.
Maybe I'm being nice.
In that particular instance, mygrandfather used to say do you
want me to be nice or do youwant me to tell you the truth?
And because sometimes the truthisn't, but it's what you need
(38:27):
to hear, so you're absolutelyright.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
There's probably some classes on that.
Out there Be kind versus niceand all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Kindness is more enduring.
Nice cities are gonna.
They'll ultimately fade away.
Kindnesses, I think, are longremembered.
Nice cities are quicklyforgotten, I think.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Well, we always in the podcast, the same way as you
well know, and I think we'vetalked about what it means to be
a gentleman, essentially, or alady the entire podcast.
But maybe you could talk aboutin your mind what does it mean
to be a lady or gentleman?
And maybe you can connect thatto kindness, although we've done
that near the whole time.
Curtis, talk to us about yourthoughts on being a lady or a
(39:12):
gentleman.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
So there's a wonderful study that's done out
there on the Ritz Carlton andpeople wanted to ask.
People asked the question howcan you get a low paid
individual to treat ourcustomers and give them such a
(39:35):
high luxury experience?
It's uncommon for people toreceive a low wage and to give a
really great experience.
Well, their mantra is we'reladies and gentlemen serving
ladies and gentlemen, and theidea being is that they instill
in their employees that you areas much a lady and a gentleman
(39:56):
as the people that you'reserving, and they embrace it,
and so that's what I think it is.
One of the things that we needto do in our society is we need
to go beyond the generaldefinition of what family is.
We need to look at the basic,human, kind aspect of it.
(40:19):
When we insert religion orethnicity, or socioeconomic or
politics, we create thesedifferences.
There isn't a soul out therethat isn't in some way shape or
form, that isn't a brother orsister.
Every single one of us areconnected in some way, shape or
(40:41):
form, and so if we can lookbeyond what the traditional, I'm
gonna retract that but if wecan look beyond the whole idea
of what does family really mean?
We're all part of one bigfamily and let's treat each
other with the kindness andrespect that we deserve all of
us deserve, no matter who we are.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Amen, well said, thank you Well said, as always,
one of the best spoken men Iknow.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Thank you very much, curtis, thanks for your time,
thanks for this one kind act, aday initiative and focus that
you have.
I think you are gonna changethe world, one kind act at a
time.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Well, let's all do it together.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah, all right, there's your call to action.
Everybody, go tothepowerofkindorg and sign the
kindness pledge.
Get involved with thiswonderful organization and take
action today.
If you felt a prompting in yourgut that you needed to be
better at this, if you wannatake this pledge, if you wanna
(41:47):
change the culture in your home,in your office or in the places
that you spend your time, bethe one that makes that change,
to change the culture, andchallenge you to do that.
Thanks so much for joining ustoday, for spending your time
with us.
If you like this podcast,please hop over to Apple and
give us a rating and a review.
(42:08):
We're we got one four starrating, like three years ago,
and then the guy's like I loveyour podcast.
So if you wanna really helpthat five star rating, get up
there.
Hop over there and give us afive star rating and a review.
If you didn't like the podcast,you don't have to do that.
We love you.
Thanks for your time.
(42:29):
Thanks, curtis, for joining ustoday.
I play.
I'm Kirk Chug.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I'm Cory Moore.
I'll do one kind act today.
Welcome to the gentlemen project podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Kirk Chug and I'm Corey Moore today in the
podcast room we have the man,the myth, the legend, none other
than Mr Curtis Bennett, andwe're taking two Right we're.
This is the second recordingtoday.
This is our first recording.
It wasn't working.
(00:24):
Great, that's fine.
Curtis has a big smile on hisface, going to do the last half
hour or we're again, so that'sgreat because we had a great
conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It was one way or the other.
We had a conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So anybody that follows the podcast knows that
Curtis was one of the firstprobably 10 guests on the
podcast, and he was that becausewhen Corey and I got together
and we said who should we haveon the podcast, that is a
gentleman that would espousegentlemen qualities, curtis
Bennett was at the top of thatlist for both of us.
(00:58):
Curtis has been involved in alot of really cool projects
throughout his career and hasbeen a leader.
He's been in the service of hisfellow being almost constantly
throughout his life and as longas I've known him, I've seen
what he's done and I just wantto follow Curtis around and just
be on his coattails, becauseeverything he does and
(01:20):
everywhere he goes, it seemslike magic happens.
And he is involved with a neworganization that we're going to
talk about today, extensivelycalled One Kind Act Today, and
it's so cool.
I know more about it now than Idid about 45 minutes ago and
(01:42):
I'm super excited for everybodyto hear this and get involved
with this initiative that Curtisis a part of.
It's so cool and welcome Curtis.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
So first of all, let me just tell you thank you for
allowing me to come back.
I am honored to be a secondtimer for the two of you here at
the Gentleman's Project, and Ijust think what you're doing
just works so perfectly hand inglove with what it is I'm trying
to accomplish, and so I thinkthis is for me not only a thrill
(02:14):
, not only an honor, but it's aperfect way for me to be able to
talk about what it is we'retrying to accomplish with One
Kind Act Today.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So, curtis, tell us a little bit about where did One
Kind Act Today come from and whydid you choose this versus
other things you could havechosen?
Because you've been a CEO,you've ran companies, you've
done lots of things in yourcareer, you've done service
missions, lots of lots of things.
Why this?
What interested you and what'sthe origin story of One Kind Act
(02:44):
Today?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So in our community we have a gentleman by the name
of Khazra Simnani, who is a verysuccessful businessman, and
thanks to him and the SimnaniFamily Foundation, we have this
charitable organization One KindAct Today, in 2022, at the
height of COVID and the heightof the weaponization of politics
(03:06):
and COVID, and with riots inthe streets and looting in the
streets and all of thechallenges that we were
experiencing because a nationwas hurting in many respects,
and he woke up one morning andsaid we really have to do
something about this.
We have to accomplish.
We have to do something better,we have to reframe the narrative
(03:26):
, we have to go back to a betternarrative.
And so as he got to lookinginto it, he decided that if we
could get individuals to performone single act of kindness a
day, what would the rippleeffect be, what would that
butterfly effect be, and howcould we change the world?
And it's interesting when I goin and I study kindness and as I
(03:50):
have studied kindness, it'sreally impressive what happens
when a single act of kindness isperformed and how that does
ripple and how it doesreverberate and how it lives on.
And we'll talk about that more.
But he decided that he wasgoing to start this organization
and he had a big pressconference and, interestingly,
I'd been invited by a friend ofmine to attend that press
conference and I had no ideawhat it was all about.
(04:12):
And as I heard him speak, andas I heard our governor speak
and as I heard a doctor speakand and and and extoll the
virtues of kindness and what itwas he was trying to accomplish
and the fact that he had fundedthis in such a way that we'll
never need funding.
We don't seek for donations, wedon't ask for donations.
I get to just focus on theobjective, which is to amplify
the message of kindness.
(04:32):
And I said to myself I'm sittingin that press conference, I
could, I could do this, I couldwork for this guy.
This would be really fun.
Think about it, just being ableto go and be a lobbyist for
kindness for all intents andpurposes and so.
But then I got my t shirt and Igot my yard sign and I went on
home and loved it and I followedit a little bit, but I didn't
(04:53):
think anything more of it untilabout a year and a half later I
got a phone call and it was MrSemnani and he'd done some
research on me and he'd lookedme up and he said would you be
interested in coming and talkwith me?
So I went and visited with me,just flatly said why don't you
come work for me?
Why don't you run this campaign?
Why don't you do this?
And I got to thinking about it.
(05:14):
I thought this is perfect.
This is exactly what I want todo.
This is exactly what I'd liketo try and communicate, not only
to my family but to the world,that we can.
We can do something about this.
And what I really like abouthis attitude is yes, we're going
to change our community and yes, we're going to change
businesses in school, but we canchange the world with this.
And I like that ambition and Ithink that's true.
(05:36):
I think we can change the worldwith this.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You know, I don't, I don't know very many, if any,
charities.
Just to restate what you justsaid, because, in case you
didn't hear that, they don'ttake donations, you don't ask
for donations, they'reself-funded.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Exactly.
In fact, when people ask uswhere can we make a donation, we
say find the charity of yourchoice and go make a donation.
If you want to do make adonation, find a charity of your
choice and go to donate to them.
And so one of the hardestthings for me to do,
particularly when we go in andtalk to schools we'll talk about
this in a few I think.
But when we go in and talk toschools, a lot of them think
(06:14):
well, what's the catch?
What are you going to ask fromme?
Nothing, you know.
We're just going to ask you tobe kind.
You know what's the fee?
There are no fees.
What does he ask?
There is no ask.
We just want to help.
That's all we want to do.
So we get to focus on thatobjective.
How?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
powerful is that?
Tell us about how this programworks in a school.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So schools are our favorite place to be.
It's really so much fun towatch students dive headlong
into the whole concept ofkindness.
When we approach a school, wego to school and we say here are
the benefits of what we knowyou're going to experience.
Here are things that we knoware going to happen.
It's universal.
(06:55):
Almost we can predict it.
First of all, when we do akindness initiative in a school,
we can tell you almostimmediately bullying is going to
be reduced.
Now, if that was the only thingwe accomplished, that'd be
worth a while, and mosteducators feel exactly the same.
But we're going to create abetter learning environment for
the student.
We're going to create a betterteaching environment for the
(07:16):
teacher.
We're going to make parentsfeel more comfortable that their
kids are in a safe environmentand that they're being dealt
with in the way that parentswant their kids dealt with in a
kind, positive, productivemanner.
And so we can tell them thatthese are going to be the
benefits.
And then what we do is we cometo them with a template
guidelines of things that theycould do in a kindness
(07:38):
initiative, but we don't want totell them this is what you
should do, because each schoolis different.
Each school has theirpeculiarities and each school
has their beautifulindividuality.
And so, whether we're talkingabout the students, who are
talking about the educators,whether we're talking about the
administrators, whether we'retalking about the janitor Okay,
because you can have a janitor,for example, you can make a big
(07:59):
difference with the studentsbecause he's so good and kind
and effusive with these kids.
So it doesn't matter.
But you, you go into theseschools and we say to them
here's a template, here's somebest practices, here's some
things that you could do.
Let's tailor, make a programfor you specifically, let's make
something work for you.
We have a particular schoolthat we're working with right
now, an amazing, an amazingschool, and I mentioned this
(08:22):
before.
But their principle is, as faras I'm concerned, wonder Woman.
We should get her a superheroDecree and and I I'm grateful to
know that their educators likeher that are caring for our kids
Well today.
But she started an initiative 22days of kindness in the school.
(08:43):
They wanted to do 10,290 actsof kindness and they came up
with that number because that'show many students they've gotten
, how many People on their staff, and they said in 22 days, we
can do 10,290 acts of kindness.
They were two-thirds of the waythrough and they were at 22,000
acts of kindness.
It stickers on the walls forevery single act that they were
(09:03):
performing.
In one class I walked into had45 30 students.
They had 4500 acts of kindnessand just that that group of kids
.
It's amazing to watch and it'sfun to watch these kids just
jump into it.
They love it.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well, what you think about, you bring about right.
So you're really getting peopleto have this habit of kindness,
and you and I talked about thismonths ago at breakfast.
But I really believe that whatyou think about, you bring about
.
That.
If you choose Kindness, if youchoose happiness, that is a
choice a lot of times.
Not that bad things don'thappen in life, not that you
(09:40):
know there are times to be sadand upset, sure, but most the
time being kind is a choice anda habit without a doubt.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
In fact, one of the things we talked about and I've
really come to to Absolutelyembrace this, this whole concept
that people say you know, I'vebeen doing your kindness
initiative and I've been, I'vebeen committing to this Kindness
pledge and we'll talk aboutthat, I hope.
But it's become second naturefor me.
It's become second nature forme and I was talking with social
psychiatrist, psychologistabout this and he says you know
(10:10):
what I like what they said and Ilike what there's, what they're
accomplishing.
But let's change the the phrasea little bit.
It's not second nature, that'sour first nature.
Our second nature is to defaultto or to choose to be angry or
to choose to be upset or tochoose to be frustrated.
That's not our first nature.
(10:32):
Our first nature, our humanorganism, responds to kindness.
Our human organism is muchhealthier when we're kind.
Our body Responds to the wholeconcept that if I'm kind, I'm
gonna feel less stress, I'mgonna have less anxiety, I'm
gonna be less likely to bedepressed, I'm less likely to
suffer from heart disease, I'mless likely to do any number of
(10:52):
different things.
There even studies out thatsuggest I'm better looking when
I'm kind.
Okay, and I need all the helpthere.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I can know you don't hear.
That's why you're so goodlooking is because you're so
kind.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Well, so, so we've got you know it's, it's part of
our first nature, and so theonly thing I would change about
that is you're you're embracingyour first nature, because our
second nature is to make thechoice To be contemptuous, to be
difficult, to be angry, to beupset.
Okay, so I really love thatconcept.
I'd rather I I'd rather havemore experience with my first
(11:25):
nature and experience with mysecond nature.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I love the way you explain that, because I think a
lot of times People hear kindand they think I'm gonna do
something kind for something forsomeone else and they're going
to benefit because I didsomething kind for them.
And that's kind of where mybrain goes.
It's like, yes, it'd be reallynice to be kind to a lot of
different people because it willhelp their day, it will help
them and their trajectory, andyou know that butterfly effect.
(11:50):
But what actually happens isthe benefit is double-sided,
exactly.
You don't.
You don't realize how good, itmakes you feel to be kind, and
so I love this first natureVernacular like that's.
That's so good that if we canembrace that and say this is,
(12:11):
this is really who I'm meant tobe, and this is the easiest way
to be.
It's.
It's not the, it's not the hardway to be.
This is who I'm, who I'm madeto be.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Studies show that there is nothing in our, in our
evolutionary makeup that isviolent.
That's not part of ourevolution.
Okay, our evolution shows thatit's the kindest, it's a kinder
societies that actually evolvedbetter than those who were
contentious, or or orConfrontive or conflictive.
Those of us who were conflicted, those of us were kinder,
(12:46):
evolved better, evolved morequickly, and so there's nothing
in our evolutionary makeup thatsays we're a violent people.
It's quite the opposite.
And then the other thing that Iwould say is that all Altruism
is reciprocal, altruism, meaningif I'm altruistic, then
(13:07):
altruism is going to reciprocateto me, and so there are
benefits.
And some people say, well, ifyou're only seeking for the
personal benefit, then you'renot being altruistic.
Well, the fact of the matter isit's impossible to avoid the
reciprocal benefits of kindness,and so if I'm going to be kind,
I'm going to receive kindnessin turn, or I'm going to receive
(13:29):
the benefits for that kindness.
So it's not bad for me to thinkI'm going to do it for the good
reasons, it's OK.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
That's good.
So you mentioned about theseinitiatives in schools.
Let's talk about some of theinitiatives in business and then
maybe you could talk about howdo we insert this into politics?
Speaker 3 (13:47):
OK, perfect, we really do like working with
businesses as well.
What's really interesting whenwe go into a business kindness
for all intents and purposes,seen as this out there ethereal,
nebulous type of thing is canwe really get a hold of it?
There is substance to kindness.
There is a lot of substance tokindness.
For example, it takes a lot ofcourage to be kind.
(14:09):
When you have an employer thatis berating you or treating you
with contempt or disrespect,it's really courageous to
respond with kindness.
When you have a client that'sdoing the same thing, it's
really a significant act ofkindness.
When a person makes the choice,I see your disrespect, I feel
(14:31):
your contempt, I'm feeling youranger.
Nevertheless, I'm going torespond with kindness.
So there is a significantsubstance to the whole idea of
kindness.
It's not just something that wecan't touch or feel.
We can see it, we can touch andfeel it.
It's tangible, and so one ofthe things that we like to do
with businesses is we like againto come in and tailor, make a
program for that particularorganization.
(14:52):
We have one organization thatwe're dealing with now.
They made the decision thatthey wanted to do something
internally first, because theyfelt that they couldn't be kind
to their clients and theycouldn't be kind to their
vendors unless they were kind tothemselves, to one another
first.
And so the first phase of theirinitiative is to do an internal
(15:14):
initiative, and they're havinga ton of fun with this Again,
one of the things that I talkabout when we whether we're with
schools or politicalorganizations or anyone we say,
above all, have fun.
Okay, if you're not having fun,then don't do it.
We want you to have fun in thiswhole initiative.
But with these organizations,they love the idea that we can
develop a culture of kindnesswithin our own ranks.
(15:35):
Okay, and then hopefully, wecan communicate that culture of
kindness with our vendors andwith our and vendors.
They almost automatically saywait a minute, I need my
confrontational relationshipwith my vendor in order for me
to get what I want at the priceI want and to be able to beat
them up the way I usually beatthem up.
No, and then we can do thiswith a different paradigm and
(15:58):
see if there's a better way ofaccomplishing this.
So it's an impressive thing towatch as you're looking at an
organization that characterizethemselves as kind, come to the
realization wait a minute, wecould have done better way back
when and we're doing better now,but we can still better, still
do better in the future.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Now talk to us a little bit about politics.
For those of us that followpolitics, we see how divisive
it's become, and for those of usthat think that perhaps that's
the way it's always going to be,give us your thoughts on how
kindness can infiltrate politics.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
So I was sitting in a in a restaurant with a number
of my friends and we weretalking about a lot of different
things.
We were talking about politicsand at the end of the day,
literally everyone kind of threwup their own hands and said
there's nothing I can do aboutit.
And I feel bad for any one ofus who feels like we're in such
a situation that there's nothingthat I can do to make any any
(17:02):
change, and we disagree withthat.
One of the one of the mostcommon forlorn looks that we get
from anybody when we talk aboutthe things that we do is when
we talk about politics, peoplelook at us almost apologetically
and they look at us as thoughwe're we're just deceived that
we can make any kind of changeat all.
(17:23):
It's a few fools, aaron.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Pying the sky.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Right, it's a fools, aaron, I think that you can do
anything within the politicalrealm and we disagree.
There are two initiatives thatI'm particularly fond of and
there are others that I thinkare are wonderful out there.
But one of the initiativesthat's out there is the governor
, spencer Cox, who is a governorof Utah, who has he's the
(17:47):
chairman of the nationalgovernor's association.
I think I called it right, buthe's got an initiative he calls
disagree better, and the wholeconcept is let's get people on
both sides of the table to agreethat they disagree.
But let's all agree that we candisagree better and we can
disagree with respect, and wecan disagree with kindness and
(18:10):
we can disagree productively.
I don't have to agree with youon all points.
In fact, I probably don't agreewith you on many points but
let's figure out a way for us tobe able to do this so that it's
not feeding the fire.
Billy Joel said we didn't startthe fire.
(18:30):
It was always burning since theworld was turning, but we're
doing what we can to put thefire out, and so I really like
that initiative.
The whole concept of disagreeingbetter, I think, is something
that we need to better embrace.
As a people, I don't have toagree with everybody all the
time, but I can choose to makemy response to be something less
(18:53):
contemptuous, less conflictive,so to speak.
Then there's the otherinitiative, that's the Dignity
Index, run by Tim Shriver and agreat team, and what they do is
they actually look at politicalI almost said the word rhetoric
but they look at politicalspeeches, and then they gauge
those speeches based on theirdignity, whether scores low or
(19:16):
high, and it's reallyinteresting.
Somebody can say somethingreally nice about somebody, and
it starts to trend high, butthen they default into the
narrative that we're used tohearing and that the exhausted
majority is exhausted about, andso we need to figure out a way
to change that narrative.
(19:37):
One of the things that he saysthat I really like is that the
only way to cure contempt is tocall it out, and that's what
they do they call out contempt.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
You were talking earlier, Curtis, about people
believing that the reason thatwe see the negative is because
that's what gets clicks, that'swhat drives media right.
Talk to us about that, and howdo we get kindness to drive
clicks?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
do you think?
Great question.
So the statement has been madeto me on a number of occasions
If it doesn't bleed, it doesn'tlead.
Kindness doesn't get clicks,contempt gets clicks,
controversy gets clicks.
In fact, we were talking withsomebody the other day about
conflict entrepreneurs.
You have people out there whoare legitimately conflict
(20:28):
entrepreneurs.
Their job is to create theconflict and then to profit off
of that conflict.
And if there isn't, I don'tknow of an area in our society
greater than the political arenathat is driving conflict
entrepreneurs.
So what can we do?
We need to be kindnessentrepreneurs.
(20:49):
We can decide that we're notgoing to respond in like manner.
We can make the decision thatwe're going to do something
different.
We can disagree better, and sowe talked about that.
I was in visiting my family inGermany last week and we watched
(21:12):
this film.
As I'm watching, I'm wonderingwhere was this film all my life?
And it's Matilda and it's amusical, and what I really liked
was, at the very end, thebullying.
The students were tired of thebullying, they were tired of the
anger, they were tired of thecontempt, they were tired of the
chaos and they were tired ofthe anxiety that they felt.
And they sang the song and itgoes we are revolting children
(21:35):
living in revolting times.
We sing revolting songs usingrevolting rhymes.
We'll be revolting childrenuntil the revolt is done and
what they're saying is we'retired of this, we're not going
to do it anymore.
And so they respond withkindness, they respond with
friendliness, they respond withpositivity and we're going to
revolt with those values as ourweapons, as our arms.
(21:59):
Now revolt has a negativeconnotation, but we can revolt
against this.
We can say that we don't wantto do this anymore.
There was a really interestingbook written out there.
I really encourage anybody toread it.
It's called the Healing Powersof Doing Good and it was written
in 1991 and it shows all of the.
(22:20):
It has all of these studiesthat have occurred as to what
are the healing powers of doinggood.
The reason why he wrote thebook was he wanted to start a
movement.
He wanted people to realizethat there is so much personal
benefit for the human organismwhen we're good that maybe, if
we can convince people that it'sso good for us that we can get
(22:41):
a movement towards kindness okay, towards healthy giving.
Another person wrote a book,arthur Brooks, called Love your
Enemies.
He wrote this book with thesame objective in mind, but,
what's really interesting, bothauthors feel like they failed.
Both authors feel like thatthey failed in their effort to
try to create this movementtowards a better narrative, to a
(23:05):
kinder narrative, to a morepositive narrative, and that's
really unfortunate.
I was in a meeting with ArthurBrooks and he said that he said
my book failed, and I had theopportunity to visit with him
for just a minute afterwards.
I said maybe it failedgenerally, but with me it was
wholly successful.
And he said no, I understandthat, and if we can do that one
person at a time that's reallywhat we're up to.
But there is a movement thatneeds to take place.
(23:28):
There is a revolt that needs totake place.
We need to finally decide.
We don't want to do thisanymore, and so one kind of act
today is I don't want to suggestthat we're starting a
revolution.
We're really starting amovement and we want it to be
positive, we want it to be good.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
So what can you do as an individual or in your home?
How do we work on ourbusinesses?
We can work in our schools.
You have communities that arefocused on this initiative.
What do we do personally and inour home to focus on kindness?
Speaker 3 (24:01):
So, it's really interesting.
There is in this book, theHealing Powers of Doing Good,
these critical steps to healthyhelping.
Okay, first of all, when aperson helps, they have what
they call the helper's high andit's similar.
It was described as beingsimilar to a runner's high,
something I've never experiencedbefore and I do a lot of
(24:22):
running, but I've neverexperienced a runner's high.
But the helper's high is a highthat you get and it kicks in
and it helps.
You feel good about the goodthat you've done and you not
only feel good about it, but youwant to do it more.
In addition to that, there's animmense calm that comes after
the helper's high.
That's the heartwarmingexperience of doing good.
But there were these criticalsteps that they talked about.
(24:45):
What are some things that we cando?
So number one was your kindnesshas to have personal contact.
It's one thing to write a check.
We want people to write checks.
We need people to write checksand we're grateful that they do
but there's no personal contactthere.
We want people to collect foodfor the food bank and they may
assemble a whole bunch of food,or they may gather a whole bunch
(25:07):
of blankets or things.
We need people to do that.
But when we have helping, thatputs me in contact, direct
contact with another individual.
Not only are we having an innerpersonal relationship with that
individual, but we're seeingwhat my kindness may actually
(25:27):
create and what will happen as aresult.
So having that personal contactwith individuals, and so, yeah,
we can say we're going to bekind of one another in the house
and that's good.
But to take our family and togo out and serve at the soup
kitchen is another thing.
That gives our kids and ourfamily a basis upon which they
can understand that there is apersonal contact, that there's
(25:49):
good that can be done.
Frequency is a second thing,and it's not that it has to be
done every day.
One kind act a day, yes, butthat kind of helping doesn't
have to happen every day.
What there has to be in afamily is a culture and an
expectation that we're going todo acts of kindness as a family
and that those are really goodthings to establish in the home.
(26:10):
And so when the time comes thatwe are going to go work at the
food pantry or we are going togo give out coats, we are going
to go do this.
No one is is belly aching andupset about it.
This is because that's theculture of our family, that's
what we do.
Helping strangers is another one.
It's interesting why helpingstrangers has such a huge impact
(26:31):
in the lives of the helper, andthe reason is because they get
to make this choice of what I'mgonna do, what I'm gonna do it,
and there's a self-control thatadds to the experience that says
I wanna go help somebody Idon't know.
What's interesting is when wehelp a family member of a friend
, there's this have to.
I'm obligated, and so there'sthis have to component, and it's
(26:55):
not that it's bad, but thathave to component is taken away.
When I go help a stranger, okay, I'm making the conscious
decision to go help somebody.
I don't know.
The other thing about youthwhat's really interesting with
youth when they go help astranger, what they like about
that concept is I'm helpingsomebody who doesn't know me.
(27:16):
They don't know my frailties,they don't know what my friends
know about me.
I'm starting with a very cleanslate with this individual and
so whatever my self-worth isbased on, what my structure of
friends is is completely out thewindow and I get to start anew
with this individual and thefact that I'm helping them
brings self-worth to me, andthat self-worth brings
(27:37):
self-forgetting, and thatself-forgetting helps us to
become less anxious about someof the challenges that we may be
dealing with.
Empathy is another one, soshared problem.
Just making the effort is animportant thing.
We're not always successful inour efforts to help, and when we
make the effort and we continueto make the effort, even though
(27:59):
some of our previous effortsmay not have been as successful
as we want if we continue on,we'll finally ultimately find
our groove and we'll figure outwhat it is that we do that's
best.
And then the last thing is letgo of results.
When we walk into a situationand we say to ourselves I am
determined that me helping youis gonna change your life, we're
(28:22):
instilling, we're imposing ourwishes on that individual and
that doesn't help them.
We need to let go of theresults and just be happy with
the fact that my efforts to tryand help you at this particular
time may not ultimately lead inyou making a major change in
your life, but I've donesomething good for you and it's
(28:45):
been good for me.
As a result, that makes sense,yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Totally.
If you don't wanna talk aboutthis, you don't have to, but on
the elevator ride up, you weretelling me about something that
your family is doing right now.
That blew me away and I thinkif anybody is going to give
credence or validity to thewords of Curtis today, they're
(29:10):
gonna say, yeah, but what's thisguy doing?
And I know you're the mosthumble guy and you would never
bring this up on the podcast.
So that's why I'm doing it,because I think this is going to
give you more credence with thepeople that are listening today
.
What are you doing right now atyour home?
Showing kindness to others?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So the best way to start with kindness is in your
home.
The best way to start withkindness is with those who you
love the most.
What's really interesting is,oftentimes we are so exhausted.
At the end of the day, thepeople who deserve the most
kindness from us don't often getthat kindness because we're
done or we're exhausted, we'respent, and so the people that
(29:58):
are closest to us and we lovethe most are often the ones that
receive the lesser amount ofkindness from me, for whatever
reason.
So as we were talking, on ourway up the elevator I've got
kids who live at home with us.
One is married with three boysand they're living in our
basement, and one is a daughterand she's married with her
(30:22):
little daughter and they'reliving in the upstairs in a
couple of the rooms.
We were talking about the wholeidea that in the United States
we don't have this familial,communal living down very well,
if you go to just about anyother country in the world, they
embrace families livingtogether.
They embrace families beingtogether as a support to one
(30:42):
another.
And so when our kids are inbetween and we've got a son
who's in between, he's just gothis master's degree and he's
trying to figure things out andwhat they wanna do.
And then we have this daughter.
They just finished hereducation, she's just got a new
job and they're also trying tofigure things out, but home
prices are such and living issuch and it's challenging.
(31:03):
And so they asked if they couldcome live with us until they
get their feet on the ground.
Absolutely, first of all, thislittle granddaughter she's so
much fun to play with.
So those three little boys, andso we have a ton of fun with
them.
But what we do is I don't chargethem rent.
We don't charge them rent.
We're not charging them for thefood.
We're not charging them forutilities.
(31:24):
We're not charging them for theinternet.
We're not charging them foranything.
What we're asking them to do isto take the equivalent of what
they would spend on rent and onfood and put it away.
Save it so that you can savemoney for a down payment for a
house.
Yeah, our expenses has gone upand we're going through a lot
more food and we're goingthrough a lot more laundry soap
than what we were before, but wedon't care.
(31:46):
As mom and dad, we really feellike where our kids are
concerned, we wanna doeverything that we can within
our power not to facilitateeverything so much or to enable
them.
We just wanna help them so thatthey can get their feet on the
ground and have the lives thatthey really wanna have, and so
(32:11):
it's just one of the things thatwe feel like we can do as
parents for our kids.
At some point in time.
We've done that for all of ourkids, except for a daughter
who'll call me up and say youdidn't do it for me, and she's
right, we didn't.
But she's married to anorthopedic surgeon right now, so
it's gonna be all okay.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
So Curtis talked to us about the kindness pledge.
We've talked about that in thepast.
Tell us what the kindnesspledge is, what comes with that?
How do people access thekindness pledge?
Speaker 3 (32:38):
So if anyone wants to help us in growing this
community of kindness and that'swhat we're trying to get people
to do is to join us and tobecome a resident in our
communities of kindness, whetherthat's with your business,
whether it's with your home orwhether it's your church, we
just want you to be a part ofour group, we want you to be
part of our community, and so goto thepowerofkindorg
(32:59):
thepowerofkindorg, and then youhave this option to take the
kindness pledge.
In the kindness pledge, you are, for all intents and purposes,
committing that you're going todo a kind act today.
It doesn't cost anything.
We're not asking anything.
We just want you to be kind.
As a result, you get to opt into receive, if you'd like start
a kit, some things that we justsend to you, that we don't
(33:22):
charge you for them.
We'll send them to you so thatit kind of prompts you to do
kind things.
And then we'll send you, if youopt in, either a text or emails
twice a week wherein we sendyou a quote that's kind of quote
and we send you a kind ofreminder, something that you
could do open the door forsomeone, write a note to
(33:43):
somebody you haven't talked toin a long time, make a phone
call that you've been wanting tomake, call your mom and
whatever it is.
Let's do something kind todayand then again you become part
of our community.
We're hoping to grow it.
What we really found to bereally interesting about this
when you do an email campaign,you get a high number of
(34:07):
unsubscribes.
We don't.
We're at like 0.05% unsubscriberate, because nobody
unsubscribes from kindness ornarside, or we get this
incredible open rate on ouremails.
That is unlike anything I'veever experienced in my days
(34:27):
professionally and that'sheartwarming to see when people
respond in that way.
The same thing is true with ourtexts.
We have very, very, very fewpeople who opt out.
They like what we get.
In fact, we get a lot of emailsback saying we love this quote
or we love this statement and welove it.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Yeah, and sometimes it's not that you have to do
what's in the text.
I get these texts, but it setsyour brain in motion to say I
can't do that right now becauseI'm not with anybody, but I can
do this and search to buildthose habits, yeah, yeah.
So what an incredibleinitiative.
Thank you, I applaud you, Iapplaud the organization.
(35:08):
I hope that everybody listeningwill take action and go to
thepowerofkindnessorg the powerof kind, the power of kindorg,
the power of kindorg and signthe kindness pledge and get
involved.
If you've got a business, aschool, a church, an
(35:29):
organization or just in yourfamily which is the ultimate
goal is to get it to the familylevel right that you'll take
action and follow this man.
If you don't know Curtis, he'sone of the kindest individuals
I've ever met, so he's in theright place at the right time,
(35:51):
doing the right thing right now.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Thank you very much.
I'll end with this one quotethat I really like, and I think
it's true.
It was by a gentleman namedWilliam James and he says can
there be, in general, a level ofemotion so unifying, so
obliterative I love that phraseobliterative of differences
between man and man that evenenmity may become irrelevant?
(36:17):
So I believe there is, and itcan really just simply start
with kindness.
It can obliterate enmitybetween man and man or woman and
woman.
It's that powerful, it canchange the world.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
It's awesome.
It also reminds me of thepodcast that we did with Curtis
Morley, where he talked aboutthe difference between nice and
kind.
It's easy to be nice.
Sometimes it takes courage tobe kind.
It takes an emancipator to bekind.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
Yeah, there is a difference, curtis, and I have
talked about that in the past.
This idea of if you're kind, inmy opinion that's more like
charity, more like true love.
Kindness doesn't mean you don'ttell your children, hey, you
need to do these things and youneed to be accountable.
It doesn't mean you don't havetough conversations with
(37:09):
associates or customers.
You just do it kindly but youdon't be.
Being nice has this connotationof and I think, if you look at
the definitions, if you're justnice, you don't have the tough
conversation, you're just beingnice.
Right, being nice is not whatwe're after.
Being kind where you trulyauthentically want to be your
(37:35):
kids, to be the best they can be.
You can't always be nice, youcan't always be kind.
If you have a tough situationat work and you're morally feel
like you're doing the rightthing, well then you need to be
kind, but you also need to standup for your morals.
So I think to your point.
I think that's a good thing totalk about this idea between
(37:57):
nice and kind, and we want to bekind, not only just
artificially nice.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
So the kindest thing we can do is to be truthful to
people.
And there's a difference.
Am I doing a good job?
Oh yeah, you're doing a greatjob, but they're not.
Then there's the difference isjust just look good on me?
Oh yeah, that looks great.
Maybe I'm being nice.
In that particular instance, mygrandfather used to say do you
want me to be nice or do youwant me to tell you the truth?
And because sometimes the truthisn't, but it's what you need
(38:27):
to hear, so you're absolutelyright.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
There's probably some classes on that.
Out there Be kind versus niceand all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
Kindness is more enduring.
Nice cities are gonna.
They'll ultimately fade away.
Kindnesses, I think, are longremembered.
Nice cities are quicklyforgotten, I think.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Well, we always in the podcast, the same way as you
well know, and I think we'vetalked about what it means to be
a gentleman, essentially, or alady the entire podcast.
But maybe you could talk aboutin your mind what does it mean
to be a lady or gentleman?
And maybe you can connect thatto kindness, although we've done
that near the whole time.
Curtis, talk to us about yourthoughts on being a lady or a
(39:12):
gentleman.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
So there's a wonderful study that's done out
there on the Ritz Carlton andpeople wanted to ask.
People asked the question howcan you get a low paid
individual to treat ourcustomers and give them such a
(39:35):
high luxury experience?
It's uncommon for people toreceive a low wage and to give a
really great experience.
Well, their mantra is we'reladies and gentlemen serving
ladies and gentlemen, and theidea being is that they instill
in their employees that you areas much a lady and a gentleman
(39:56):
as the people that you'reserving, and they embrace it,
and so that's what I think it is.
One of the things that we needto do in our society is we need
to go beyond the generaldefinition of what family is.
We need to look at the basic,human, kind aspect of it.
(40:19):
When we insert religion orethnicity, or socioeconomic or
politics, we create thesedifferences.
There isn't a soul out therethat isn't in some way shape or
form, that isn't a brother orsister.
Every single one of us areconnected in some way, shape or
(40:41):
form, and so if we can lookbeyond what the traditional, I'm
gonna retract that but if wecan look beyond the whole idea
of what does family really mean?
We're all part of one bigfamily and let's treat each
other with the kindness andrespect that we deserve all of
us deserve, no matter who we are.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Amen, well said, thank you Well said, as always,
one of the best spoken men Iknow.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Thank you very much, curtis, thanks for your time,
thanks for this one kind act, aday initiative and focus that
you have.
I think you are gonna changethe world, one kind act at a
time.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
Well, let's all do it together.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah, all right, there's your call to action.
Everybody, go tothepowerofkindorg and sign the
kindness pledge.
Get involved with thiswonderful organization and take
action today.
If you felt a prompting in yourgut that you needed to be
better at this, if you wannatake this pledge, if you wanna
(41:47):
change the culture in your home,in your office or in the places
that you spend your time, bethe one that makes that change,
to change the culture, andchallenge you to do that.
Thanks so much for joining ustoday, for spending your time
with us.
If you like this podcast,please hop over to Apple and
give us a rating and a review.
(42:08):
We're we got one four starrating, like three years ago,
and then the guy's like I loveyour podcast.
So if you wanna really helpthat five star rating, get up
there.
Hop over there and give us afive star rating and a review.
If you didn't like the podcast,you don't have to do that.
We love you.
Thanks for your time.
(42:29):
Thanks, curtis, for joining ustoday.
I play.
I'm Kirk Chug.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I'm Cory Moore.
I'll do one kind act today.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.