April 22, 2024 • 47 mins
Ashton Buswell shares his personal and professional journey in this conversation, revealing the secrets of being an involved and purposeful father in the fast-paced world.
Ashton, a championship wrestler and sought-after sales trainer offers valuable insights on raising four daughters with the grace and grit of a modern patriarch.
We explore the challenges of working while prioritizing family well-being, including the transformative practice of writing letters to one's future self. Ashton provides actionable advice for strengthening familial bonds and highlights the values of respect, love, and care.
Join us on this inspiring journey as we share the lessons and legacy of Ashton Buswell and his family.
Check out the show on any of your favorite platforms and give us a like and follow if you like our content!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast.
I'm Corey Moore.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Kirk Chug.
Today, to my right, we arejoined with Ashton Buswell.
He is one of the guys I grew upwith.
He moved into my high schoolwhen I was a junior and he was a
sophomore with his brother andwe were just like stars in our
eyes because these two guys fromthe midwest super rock, solid
(00:30):
athlete, performer, wrestler,football players were going to
come and make our team, uh,state champions yeah, is that?
What happened?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
he won the state championship when he was a
senior.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Good work I can say without a shadow of a doubt
without ashton buzzwell on thathigh school football team, they
would not have won the.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I have to ask whether , even if you cut this out, I
don't know if you want people toknow your ages, but what year
was that that you won thechampionship?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
1999, 99, so class of 2000, but it was in the fall.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I had some friends in 98 I think, but not 99 that I
remember okay, yeah, I was justa year in front of him and
buzzwell has gone on to do a lotof really cool things in his
life, but one of the things Iknow he's most proud of is the
family that he's raising and therelationship and marriage that
he has with his wife, lydia Forsure.
(01:25):
And he's in town from San Diegotoday.
We connected about the podcast.
The book just came out and Ithink he was one of my first
supporters that went on andbought a book, nice.
And then we connected.
He says, hey, why don't we do apodcast while I'm in Salt Lake?
So here we are.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
And I said, you have famous people on here all the
time.
Now you're even more famous.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Whatever man.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I just want to be famous to my kids.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Well, and you told me that you told me that that was
one of your things.
So tell us a little bit aboutyou and Lydia, your family.
Give us a little bit of context, what you do for a living.
He's if you're in the salesindustry, which is a huge
industry.
But if you're in the salesindustry, you know Ashton
Boswell.
He is like a lightning bolt onstage.
(02:17):
He does the Haka, uh, to getpeople motivated.
Like this guy is full energyall the time.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
So when Kurt's telling me, you're basically
like a sales legend at thispoint.
That's what he told me today,so you got to tell me all about
it.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I think that's better than sales influencer, because
I don't know, that's icky but uhbut he is, uh.
He's very well respected withinthe industry and has changed a
lot of people's lives because ofit, and I've always respected
Ashton, and so I'm lookingforward to learning from you
today.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah, yeah, man, I'm blushing.
Right now you guys can't seethis.
I'm blushing, but I I'mgrateful to.
That was a nice intro, Kurt,Thanks man, no thanks, I used to
beat me up on the footballfield.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
It was mutual.
It was mutual.
We beat each other up, smasheach other, that's right.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I a little bit about me and my family, um, married to
beautiful Lydia Buzzwell.
Lydia Polikoff Buzzwell.
She goes and now drop Polikoff,but, um, we have four daughters
.
So I know this is a gentlemanpodcast.
I'm the only gentleman at thehouse right now and I'm not
growing any gentlemen, I'mgrowing ladies.
But I'm happy to talk through alittle bit of the gentleman
(03:29):
side and the lady side.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well absolutely, they go hand in hand, they go hand
in hand.
You got to raise those ladiesto want a true gentleman.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, and, and, and I'm trying to show them what it?
Is to be a good man, and uh, sothe ages that the girls for um
14, 11, six and three, and uh,our three year old, three year
old, just did some poopoos onthe potty.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So that's a big.
I remember that now, but thatis a big deal Actually.
Everybody on the podcast ischeering for you.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
right now, everybody should be like, yes, and she's
gonna love this one, you know sothat's huge yeah, someday
she'll listen in 15 years she'llbe like.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I remember when dad said that on the podcast, you
said what about what?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
yeah, so now that they're my, they're my pride and
joy, they, they, uh, I love, Ilove being a dad and uh, and
being a husband and all of thatentails.
But I'm I'm the worker on thework side, I'm a speaker, I, I,
I speak and present, mostly onsales.
I'm real passionate about, uh,having a balanced life that I'm.
(04:33):
I'm in the process of writing abook.
I don't have a book out yet,but I'm in the process of
writing a book.
I maybe have chat GBT plug itin or I won't do that, but I'll
have.
I've got the framework of it andI've had it for like two years,
but I just need to, like, sitdown and take the time to do it.
It's not, there's no such thingas a balanced life.
That's the misnomer.
It's about having harmony, andso the whole book is about
(04:54):
having harmony in the home andharmony in your life not
necessarily a balanced life andhow you can be all in where you
are, when you're there and getreally, really effective use of
your time and day and all thatstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
We love that both, cory and I are nodding our heads
because we have talked so muchabout this.
Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
It's so important yeah so, and then I and I um do
a lot of sales training, so I'mI'm working on a course for
brand new sales reps.
If anybody wanted to look atinstagram, that's probably the
best place.
Where I have most of my stuffat Ashton Boswell Uh, that's
where a lot of my sales tips andthings will go and just get
some good free value there.
But I also post on there a lotof about my family because I'm
(05:34):
super passionate about thatstuff and I want people to see
you can be successful inbusiness and at home and at and
physical fitness and all of it.
Right, you don't have to be aone-trick pony.
You can do a lot, and so I'mtrying to be that example for as
many people as I can.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You can't see Ashton's biceps from here, but
he is probably in the best shapeof his life, would you say.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I've got the most muscle that I've ever had in my
life.
I wrestled in college and I wasin the best shape of my life my
freshman year of college.
As far as like actual physicalfitness.
I was in incredible shape andI'm not quite there, but I had
more muscle than I did then.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So did you win a state championship in high
school as well?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I won state twice, twice Yep.
And then I won junior collegenationals before I served
admission for my church and thenwent back and wrestled at
University of North Carolina ohwow, and I'm actually in
wrestling again.
So I got into old guy wrestling.
Yeah, this is what I want totalk about.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
One of my friends posted about it on social media
that they were doing a master'swrestling event and I was like
I've had some good goals thelast couple of years, like
around my physical fitness, andI thought what can I do to
continue to do that?
I had a goal to do 50 pull-upsin a row and tendonitis kind of
messed that up.
I almost got there.
I got to 40 and then I pivotedmy goal and and one of the years
(06:50):
I decided to wrestle at the U Sopen and it was a neat
experience, 40 years old,wrestling out there.
Normally your kids don't get tosee you wrestle.
There's no like pickupwrestling.
There's pickup basketball.
If you're good at basketballyou can show your kids hey, look
, I was good at this when I wasa kid, but there's nothing like
that for wrestling, you know.
And so it was a really neatexperience to be out there two
years ago and uh and wrestle.
(07:12):
And I came real present.
I wrestled 11 matches in like23, 22 hours.
My brother Tyler that's yourage was there down there with me
.
He's like, dude, if you'regonna do this, I want to come
coach you.
And he said you've done someincredible physically fit things
in your life, but that, as a 40year old, is maybe one of the
most incredible things I've everseen which I felt that way too,
cause I was not in as good ashape as I needed to be.
(07:34):
But anyway, two, two differenttimes on the mat.
I remember sitting standing outthere and the reps had to talk
about something, and justbecoming really present to my
little kids in the standscheering for dad.
It was so cool.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And I was and I like got teary-eyed.
I'm supposed to be beatingpeople up, you know, like my
opponent, but I like legit gotteary-eyed at two different
occasions.
Like this is special becausethey don't.
They don't get to see, theydon't get to cheer me on.
They're cheering for me.
When I come home and I say Igot a sale today, all the girls
are like yay, you know, they'reexcited, but like to see me get
(08:08):
in the arena and have a reasonto cheer for dad was a super
cool experience.
And the same thing for my wife,right, she's a concert pianist.
She can just jam at anything onthe piano and we have a piano
at our house.
She's like I can, I can showyou what I was good at anytime,
but you can't really show usthat with your wrestling.
(08:29):
But I was, and so anyway, thisyear I I tore my labrum in that.
That met that two years ago,and so I've been recovering and
tried to bulk up a little bitand I'm going to do it again at
the end of this month.
And then I've I've decided I'mgoing to wrestle at the world
championships.
You might as well.
If you're going to go big, youmight as well go represent the
United States of America Right.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Good for you so that's supercool.
That's on my roadmap this year,so talk to us a little bit more
about the harmony thing, causeobviously you you're have either
figured this out or you'refiguring it out and you're
talking about writing in yourbook about it.
So dive deeper.
What does that mean to you, andhow have you learned the
(09:06):
harmony thing?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, and I wish I could say I came up with that
idea first.
I didn't, and nobody.
People talk about it too, butI'm not the only one that's like
, yeah, this is a novel idea.
But the um, I I've, I'velearned it and I, you know
anything that you're good at.
Anybody that's an expert inanything is really not all the
way perfect at it.
But they're just a little bitfurther ahead.
(09:28):
Right, and I'm not perfect atharmony and I'm not even
probably that much further.
You guys may have more harmonyat home than I do.
I don't know.
It's hard to judge that thing,right, but as you, as you think
about it and you focus on it andyou try to make it a part of
you and what you're, what you'regoing for, then then things
(09:48):
start to dial in a little bitmore Right, and it kind of first
started happening when I um,when Lydia and I, we moved into
a new house three years ago andnow we can exercise at the same
time because there's enoughspace and our kids are old
enough that we've got an oldenough kid that we could both
leave and go for a run or go tothe gym, and it would be okay,
you know, but when we hadyounger kids and we didn't have
that, there was one time slotwhen the coveted time slot in
(10:13):
the morning to go exercise and Igave it to my wife and at the
time I thought it was thebiggest sacrifice.
I need to run too, I need toexercise too, I need to do these
things, but it was on as a mom.
You're on 24 seven right?
My daughter came in andsnuggled with my wife last night
and sometimes I get thesnuggles, but she got it last
(10:34):
night right.
But at four o'clock in themorning she's trying to just
sleep, you know, but she has tobe mom.
And so what I realized was thatif I gave her that prime time
spot, there was a lot moreharmony in my home.
There was a lot moreopportunity for her to get her
(10:55):
mind off of everything not beresponsible for kids, not be
responsible for cooking meals,cleaning anything, shipping
people around.
She could just go for a run orlift some weights or whatever it
was.
And when she, when I gave mywife that opportunity to have
her balance time and her alonetime, it really recharged her
(11:15):
and then it let me do tons ofstuff.
I was at that time, I wasreally trying to get the rocket
ship off the ground for my solarsales career and and I was
spending extra time doing thatsometimes.
Sometimes I'd wake up and go toa business network meeting in
the morning at six or seven inthe morning, seven o'clock in
the morning and leave the houseat six in the morning and I
wouldn't get home till nineo'clock at night.
(11:36):
So I'm not even seeing the kidsall day and she has to be there
.
But as long as I, you knowthose days she wouldn't be able
to go run, I would take thatmorning spot.
But as long as I, you knowthose days she wouldn't be able
to go run, I would take thatmorning spot, but as long as I
would give her those other timesthere was a lot more harmony in
my house and I was like, wow,how else can I make sure that
there's harmony here?
And a few things that have beenreally, really helpful for me
(11:56):
with my relationship with mywife and my relationship with my
kids is having scheduled datenights Again not a novel idea,
but something we do.
I got asked to be a bishop atchurch for a little while and
right after that happened, I wasa young bishop and we came out
into the parking lot after wewere asked and I'm like, did
that really just happen?
And we had gone on dates, kindof.
(12:19):
But we made a decision in thatcar we have to go on a date
every single week.
I'm already really, really busy.
I'm a national sales director.
I'm running the San Diego area.
I'm the top sales guy in ourcompany.
Um, you know I got all thesethings already, but you're the
most important earthlyrelationship that I have.
So we have to do this and we,for five years we missed maybe
(12:43):
one or two times.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
And she could count on it and it was the most
important account event in mycalendar and it wasn't.
I used to kind of be a littlefrugal, cheap, whatever you want
to call it on the dates andjust kind of try to do fun stuff
or cheaper things.
And then I was like no, this isan investment man, this is like
the most important investment,the most important calendar time
, so that that became anabsolute, non-negotiable.
(13:06):
And then a mentor of mine saidas often as you date your wife,
you should date your kids.
And I was like I go on a datewith her every week.
And he's like you should go ona date with each of your kids
every week.
And I was like I can't do that,dude, that's, that's too much.
But I can go on a date with oneof my kids every week.
So every week I have adaddy-daughter date and my girls
, they just can't wait for thatand they know they're going to
(13:29):
have that time and again.
At the start I was trying toteach them good lessons, like
all right, you've got $7, andyou can use it all today, you
can save some and we'll do abigger activity next month.
Or I was trying to teach somebudgeting and then finally I was
like no man, whatever you wantto do, let's go.
I don't care, you choose, I'llchoose who's going to choose?
(13:49):
Sometimes they choose,sometimes I choose, but that
monthly connection at leastmonthly connection has really
helped me with having harmonywith my kids.
Another thing that's been reallyhelpful is to have meaningful
connections.
So a goal that I have every daybefore 10 o'clock is to have a
meaningful connection with myGod, with my physical body, with
(14:10):
my mental body so affirmationsor reading or listening to
things right With my wife andeach one of my kids and my
three-year-old is now old enoughthat I can communicate and talk
with her, but when she was sixmonths old it was legit getting
in her face and locking eyes andjust being with her and her
(14:30):
being with me, right, and and ifI can do that before 10, all
those things before 10 AM, I'veabsolutely won the day and the
rest of my day.
Whether I get lots of sales ordon't get a lot of sales or have
good conversations or don't, ithonestly doesn't really matter,
because the most importantthings I've already accomplished
.
But meaningful connections too,not just a connection.
(14:53):
Too often with spouses and kidsit's like how's your day?
How was soccer practice?
Good, not like how are youfeeling and is anything going
wrong at school?
What's your favorite part ofschool?
What are the things that you'remissing?
Are your friends Right?
Like a meaningful interactionwith somebody, with my kids.
So my most sacred hour everyday is between 6.45 and 7.45 in
(15:14):
the morning.
I wake my kids up, I get thembreakfast, get them ready for
school, walk them to the busstop.
I used to walk them to schooland we lived closer to the
school.
But that hour in the morning, amonthly date night with my kids
and a weekly date night with mywife and the meaningful
connections all along the wayare again, if you calculate the
(15:36):
amount of time that is, that'sactually not a lot of time
compared to the rest of my life,right, but if I can hand, if I
can do those things, and thenI'm in a lot better situation.
So I feel like I'm rambling.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
No, that was all on point man, that was all on point
and stuff.
We were going to ask you anyway.
So that's awesome, what anamazing, what an amazing time.
And everybody that's listeningto you know I find myself saying
, well, you know, my Everybodythat's listening to you know I
find myself saying, oh, you know, my situation is different now,
or my kids aren't that age, andit's not so much about doing
(16:12):
exactly what Ashton just said.
Right, it's about thepurposeful nature in which you
approach it and in yoursituation, what does that look
like?
Yeah, yeah, and what hours ofthose days For me, my connection
comes with look like yeah, yeah, and what hours of those days.
For me, my connection comeswith my kids at night when we
pray and read scripture, right,and that's usually when they
(16:34):
open up.
They're tired, but morningsmornings are different at my
house than they are at yourhouse, and that's fine, um, but
it's.
It's finding that and, dude,when we started doing weekly
date nights, it's not only goodfor for us, because this is
(16:54):
something that Karen and Idecided we were going to do it's
Thursday nights for us.
When somebody says, hey, weshould get together and do
something, I say Thursday's,thursday's, my open night.
If you want to get together anddo something, I say Thursdays,
thursday's, my open night.
If you want to get together anddo something with me and Karen,
we're open Thursdays, andusually those nights they look
(17:15):
like every other night, exceptmy kids.
Now, instead of saying are yougoing on a date night with mom,
they say where are you going ona date night with mom?
Yeah, say where are you goingon a date night with mom?
Totally, and they expect it,and I hope that that's something
that in the future they say youknow what my parents always did
this.
They valued their relationshipso much that they took time away
(17:40):
and they did it every week andthey did it consistently.
It's the example that you'resetting for your daughters.
Sure, say, your husbands needto be invested in you.
They need to do this.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah, you've heard it .
But the most important thing isOne of the most important
things that I can do for mydaughters is love their mom and
date their mom, like that'sshowing them love and compassion
.
And my kids get all.
They close their eyes when weget all gooey, and you know what
I mean, and I'm like, oh, don'tkiss in front of us, right, all
that stuff that's so important.
(18:11):
And the date night is like it'sthat right, like my parents,
this is what they did.
So I expect my marriage to alsobe that way.
And if we're not doing this,and why aren't we doing this and
why did my parents do it?
And and yeah, I agree a hundredpercent, that's that's so, so
important.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
So you seem like you're a pretty disciplined guy
You'd have to be to do some ofthe things that you've told us
you've done.
And I, from what?
I wasn't a wrestler but but oneof my brother-in-law was and
he's like it's the hardest sport, corey, I'm telling you it's
the hardest, it's the mostdedication and I'm like I get it
.
I, I see that.
So so with wrestling with youknow the date nights, things you
(18:51):
told me I'm seeing discipline.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
There's sometimes when I get off track, like I've
tried to do date nights with mykids and then relax, and then
I'll be like, no, you got to getback in it.
So do you have something inyour life where you read refocus
once a year or once a quarter,or just to make sure, am I doing
what I said I was going to do,or do I need to realign my
priorities, because there'stimes and seasons for everything
(19:14):
?
Right, if you're going to findharmony.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
So what's your way?
I'm just kind of curious on,like, how do you keep yourself
focused, disciplined or alignedwith your goals, that kind of
thing?
Yeah, we do a couple of things.
So my wife and I try to do asome sort of staycation or trip,
just her and I, every quarter,and we do one big trip a year,
um, and we also want to take ourkid.
We take, we do littlestaycations with our kids and
we'll just take them away, notvery far usually, and that has
been so.
We just came back from one ofthose.
(19:45):
We went up to Yosemite, got anAirbnb.
It was far enough away.
There was no activities forkids to do.
We're just hanging, right,we're just together.
But that gives us anopportunity to like, talk about
meaningful things if we choose,about meaningful things if we
choose and sometimes we don't,sometimes it's just we're, we're
here together, we're just beingtogether, right, um, but I want
I try to have at least one, oneof those a year be around,
(20:07):
let's talk about where thingsare at as a family, you know, in
a bigger way than just, likeyou know, on sunday nights or
whatever, when we're at home, um, Um.
So I, I do that and somethingthat's been really effective for
me the last couple of years isaround my.
My whole life is to write aletter to myself instead of
(20:28):
writing out goals and in sales,the last couple of years I've
been what I've been trying to do, uh and and maybe it's just
maybe, maybe it's not sales,maybe it's just my trying to win
at life.
If you, if we call, if youcalled me on the phone, I would
say how are you doing?
I'd be like, good man, I'mwinning, are you winning?
Like that's how I answer thephone and trying to win at life.
(20:48):
I start to formulate my ideasfor what I'm going to do the
next year around the end ofNovember, because a lot of
people take December really slowand if I can start my year
almost in December, I got aheadstart on everybody right.
So around that time I'm kind offormulating what I'm going to do
the next year and then I writea letter to myself from my
(21:09):
future self, and it's been areally impactful exercise.
So I write a letter to myselffrom myself on the, as if I'm
writing from December 31st 2020,this year, december 31st 2024.
And on the plane right herethis morning, I read my letter
that I wrote to myself and inthat letter I'm real descriptive
(21:30):
on the things that I want tohave happen.
And it's not just like went ona trip to Croatia, you know what
, you know wrestled at this,this, and that.
Whatever it's like descriptive.
I'm doing this because of thisand and this is how it feels,
and I'm trying to pull inemotion and I'm trying to be
real descriptive on why I'mdoing those things.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
It's like a movie of.
This is how it felt.
This is what it looked like.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
This is what I accomplished and it honestly
helps my discipline because andI and I try to, you know, I, I,
I try to create an atmospherewhere it's going to be a really
good time for me to write thatletter.
If I'm getting distracted, ifI'm getting, you know, I, so I
need to have some alone time andI need to kind of prep for it.
(22:13):
Um, but, like the last couple oftimes that I've done it, it's,
it's felt spiritual, like thiswas like I was writing a
blessing for my life, but it'sonly as good as I me reading it
more and more Right and Irevisited some things and and I
okay, I'm off track here, rightOf of where I want to be, and
where I want to be is where thatletter says and that letter
(22:35):
isn't like be a 10 billionaire,you know like it's like actual
things that I can actually do.
That may be a stretch, and lastyear's one, I accomplished
every single thing but one, andthen, and most of it was a
stretch, like last year was anawesome year for me in that
regard, and I read the letterlike almost every day for the
first month and then a couple oftimes throughout each month,
(22:58):
month, the following months andit was cool to just kind of see
how things were were coming intoplay.
So, um, that's been aneffective tool.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
The last that's a really good one.
I haven't, I haven't heard itput quite like that before.
I like that idea a lot.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Instead, I like it better than new year's
resolutions or goals, not thatyou can't have goals, but it's
the same thing as a goal, butit's like written out yeah, and
this has already been done, yeahit's really cool.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
What a cool skill that would be to teach your kids
.
Are you teaching that to yourdaughters?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah, I've talked to them about it.
They haven't really and it's onme right as the parent we
haven't really exercised.
I've talked to him about it,I've shown him my letter and
some of it's like even maybe toopersonal for me to share, you
know, with them, yeah, and, butI've shared.
I'm sure they're part of theletter.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
They're in the letter .
Yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
They're in the letter .
So can I share something?
I thought about sharing this.
Yeah, absolutely A littletangent from what we were
talking about, but I was like,what can I share that would be
valuable on this podcast forpeople?
And I thought of three thingsand so I'll just spin them out.
We can talk about them.
(24:10):
One of the first ones that wetalked about that went along
with the meaningful connectionswas to listen with your eyes.
I asked a guy that I reallyrespected After I was just
married he had 13 kids and I andhe was doing he's a sales
trainer and and he was liketraining us and I said how do
you have like, where do youstart having wanting to have 13
kids?
He's like Ash, no one startswanting to have 13 kids, right,
(24:33):
and he's like it just kind ofhappened.
But as a new dad, as a newhusband, I was very curious how
his relationship was was, was,was with his wife and I said how
do you be a good husband?
And he said, ashton, you listenwith your eyes.
And that was so crazy impactfulto me because so often we have
our phones and with our kids.
(24:53):
If you want to, if you want toconnect with your kid listen
with your eyes.
Our phones get in the way andwe're talking like oh yeah,
uh-huh sure, and they know we'renot paying attention.
And anytime my kids say, dad,put your phone down, I'm like
dang it, they got me.
Or I'm not really listening orpaying attention.
But I try my best to listenwith my eyes and I'll even tell
them.
If they come into me and I'm inthe middle of something, I'll
(25:14):
say, hey, listen, I'm in themiddle of something.
I'll say, hey, listen, I'm inthe middle of this.
I can't listen with my eyesright now, but if you want to
talk to me, you can.
But once I'm done with this,I'll be able to listen with my
eyes.
Is that okay?
And most of the time they'lljust, you know, they'll just go
for it without me like stopping,but I I'll let them know like I
can't be as engaged with you asI want to be.
So that was one idea.
(25:37):
I love that.
That's great.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, and it's it's language that you're using in
your home.
Yeah, that your kids nowunderstand the language.
If you said that to a kid thatgrew up outside your home,
they'd be like what are youtalking about?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
You listen to your ears.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good job.
The kids, the kids have that.
So that was one idea.
Another idea was dad growing up,when we would go on wrestling.
We'd go on trips.
I grew up in Kansas and wewould wake up at crazy early
times in the morning and drivehours to a little podunk town in
Kansas and there would be awrestling meet there and we'd
(26:14):
wrestle and me and my brotherwould sleep, my dad would drive
and then on the way home wewould be talking and he would
say to us and and I it's funny,tyler, that was wrestling with
me all the time he had the sameexperience as me.
But oftentimes I think my dadwas just talking to me, you know
, like maybe that's selfish ormaybe that's just me as a kid,
(26:34):
whatever.
Like my dad asked me thisquestion, but he would ask us.
He would say, once we kind oftalked a little bit about some
things, he'd say Ashton, tyler,whoever was there with him, do
you want to talk about girls ordo you want to talk about
wrestling?
And and when my dad asked thatquestion, that was his
opportunity to be like hey,let's have it, let's now have a
meaningful conversation, and I'mgoing to let you choose what.
(27:05):
What you want to do.
Is it going to be aboutwrestling?
Sometimes it'd be aboutwrestling, and then other times
it'd be about girls, right, orabout anything else that was
going on in my life that that Iwanted to talk, talk to my dad
about.
So I tried to do this with mykids and I was, I was asking you
know, some of my girls werejust I was asking them life
questions, on our dates.
We'd stop and I'd start askingthem and they would respond.
One kid though I was like hey,so how's school Like, what's
(27:25):
going on at school?
She, she was looking up at thestars and she said stars.
And I said well, what, whatlike are you?
Are you having fun at school?
Is thing, are things good atschool?
And she was like moon, and shewas just kept dodging the
question.
And then I finally said do you,do you want to talk about life
or the galaxy?
And she was like the galaxy,perfect.
(27:49):
And so now that question hasbecome my question, because my
girls aren't wrestling, so Ican't talk about life or or
girls, but I can talk about lifefor the galaxy.
And I now I've downloaded anapp on my phone that has all the
star tracker and if they saygalaxy, we go in on the galaxy,
and I've never been intotelescopes, but I'm probably
going to buy one and and youknow this, this configuration
(28:12):
over here, and where's Mars?
Let's find Mars, and you knowwhat I mean.
But but that's become an avenueor a question, a question, and
that's going to be a questionfor everybody.
That's going to be a little bitdifferent, but for me as a kid,
I recognized that this is mydad wanting to have a
conversation with me.
And now, hopefully, my girlshave that same recognition.
Like now, dad, because I'masking about school and teacher
(28:35):
and whatever else.
But like, hey, do you want totalk about life or do you want
to talk about the galaxy?
Oh, okay, dad wants to talkabout something.
Do you know what I mean?
Just as like a little littleindicator.
So find finding a way totransition into something like
that.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, well, that was, that was Keith Buswell's
gentleman project.
Like, my experience with myboys was a right before bed
let's.
Let's talk about what it meansto be a gentleman for five
minutes.
Yeah, right, and sometimes wetalked about what was on the
board and what a gentleman was,and sometimes we talked about
other stuff they had questionsabout.
Yeah, and that was theirlicense, their avenue to have
(29:10):
access to me, their dad yeah,and so that was Keith Buswell's
Gentleman Project.
Yeah, I freaking love that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
We got to talk about your dad after your third point
too, by the way.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about my dad because
he's well worth a greatgentleman.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Third point was kind of back to the wrestling thing
of what are we, as dads, givingour kids something to cheer for,
like?
Are we giving our kidssomething that our kids can be
like in our corner?
Some dads do.
Some dads are all in with theirkids and they're cheering their
(29:45):
dad on because he's really goodat hunting or he's really good
at this thing, and they look upto their dad about that thing,
and other dads don't.
Other dads are kind of justgoing with the flow, or parents,
but this is a gentleman project.
But as a dad, are we?
What are we doing that we're?
We're giving our kids somethingto cheer about, and if we're
(30:09):
not doing something, then weshould figure something out.
And it doesn't have to bewrestling at the world
championships right, it can bereally good fishermen, or they
tie their flies, or.
Or we love to go hunting, or welove to go play pickleball.
My dad is a really goodpickleball player, you know, and
I love cheering my dad on andmy I'll go with my dad when he
(30:31):
plays and I'll watch him andlike, and you and it's uh, it
isn't something, maybenecessarily that you like, like,
like, hey, I want you to cheerfor me about this, but it's more
about who you are.
Right as a person are you?
Are you finding a way that youcan inspire your own kids?
And and if you're not inspiringthem like you've got to, you've
got to first find somethingthat inspires you about you.
(30:53):
Inspired by you, no one else isgoing to be inspired by.
You got to do some things thatare a little out of the ordinary
, maybe a little crazy, thatthat are pushing you to be a
better person, and then they'llbe inspired by that.
And then, if other people areinspired by that, too cool, but
it's mostly down to you.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I like that a lot.
And showing your kids,inspiring your kids I like that
word and I actually haven'tthought about that before.
I think there's a few placeswhere I probably have, but I
think I don't think it's everbeen on purpose.
Why not do that on purpose?
Why not show your kidssomething cool?
You know, even talk to themabout this as a goal I have, and
(31:32):
you're going to watch me worktowards it.
Plus, you're giving yourself abunch of accountability if you
do that with your kids, becausethere's no way I'm going to tell
my kids I have a goal and notachieve it Right, like that's
big time pressure.
Yeah, so I love that.
I haven't ever thought of itthat way.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
And even, and even if you don't make it like just
putting it out there and showingthem that you're doing
something, they know that yougave it the effort, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That actually might even be a better.
A better lesson is if you don'tquite get there Right, but they
saw the effort right, Right.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
If they see you win, they're cheering you win.
If they see you lose, they'relearning what that now?
Now, what do you do when?
this happens Because we lose alot more than we win in in our
interactions in life, right?
So if, if dad starts throwingthings and cussing and kicking
things, like okay, I guessthat's how you're supposed to
react.
Or if dad is like you know what, I'm going to get it next time
(32:24):
and that's all good that I lost,because now I've got this
motivation and I can learn thisand I I'm going to adjust here
and tweak this and pivot here.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, Right.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
That's cool.
Teach him some resilience andsome grit.
And okay, my dad, he wentthrough some hard things and
yeah, he didn't quite reach hisgoals.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
That's okay.
That makes it okay for me notto quite reach my goals, but I
should set goals because dad did.
Yeah, it's good.
Can I share something with youguys?
Yep, um, I guess if you were umfollowing some of my social
media as we were launching thebook, um, you may have seen this
um that I posted in a privategroup.
But uh, cory, I don't thinkyou've you've seen this.
So we were waiting for like fouror five days for the book to
publish and my kids knew, likewhen started the book, that the
(33:09):
book was coming, that the bookhadn't been released yet.
Dad was still working on thebook.
The book is out there in theether somewhere and then we
published it and we were waitingfor amazon to make it available
for purchase and as soon as ithit, my wife posted a link in
our family chat and my kids werelike sweet congratulations,
(33:30):
papa, you know.
And my 13 year old daughterlike this is one of the coolest
texts I've ever gotten.
She said great job, I'm soproud of you.
Like I literally teared up whenI read it.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They saw.
They saw that this wassomething dad was going to do.
He said he was going to do it.
It got done.
And when she said I'm proud ofyou, like that's just so cool,
so cool, so.
That's just so cool, so cool,so that's what it's about.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
That's what it's all about, dude, right, and that's
that's so.
That's them cheering you onright.
They've been in your corner.
Dad's writing this book.
He's he can do it and to see itcome to fruition.
There's not, there's not, manybetter texts than that text
right there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
So, um, let's talk about your parents, because I am
I don't interview many peoplein the podcast that I know their
parents, but I have a shortstory that I want to tell about
your dad.
He was one of the first guysthat grabbed me when I went into
the custom clothing industryand he was like here's what you
need to do, here's some peopleyou need to know, and he kind of
mentored me a little bit, eventhrough email, and he kind of
mentored me a little bit, eventhrough email.
(34:47):
And then he was in a leadershipposition in the church where my
grandfather, who passed away twoyears ago at the age of 91, he
had stewardship over my grandpaand my grandpa was really lonely
and he really, really, really,really respected your dad and
your dad would often take thetime to come and visit with my
(35:07):
grandpa cool and make sure thathe knew he was seen and not
forgotten by someone outside ofhis family.
And I knew this about your dadbecause I knew him and it didn't
surprise me.
But you've had a really goodexample from your dad of the
(35:28):
type of man you want to becomeand I in no doubt know that
that's why your family is theway it is because you've had
great leaders in your mom anddad.
But talk to us more about someof the things that your parents
taught you, and how are youteaching them to your kids?
Speaker 3 (35:45):
dude you're making me cry about my, get choked up
about my dad.
My parents are my heroes,without a doubt, and I I was
just at my parents a few weeksago and this I, I, um, my wife's
grandma was like, hey, I'mgonna die sometime.
If you want some stuff, let'sstart putting some names on the
(36:07):
back of some of my things, youknow.
And I said I, I went in and atmy parents house there's some
cool things, but there's thisold beat up sign that my dad had
in his office, all grown up,and the sign said and I saw it
(36:27):
and I said I want this, can Ihave this like sometime, someday
?
And it's just a piece of paperwith writing on it.
I could write the same thing,but it was the sign that I saw
and it said I am what I am todaybecause of what my parents are
every day.
And I think that was a goodreminder to my dad that he needs
to be, that he is what he istoday because of his parents,
(36:49):
and he had good parents.
But it was also a reminder tohim to be a good person all of
the time, so that your kids seeyou good all of the time If they
see you bad once.
I mean that tarnishes areputation, quick, right, or
whatever they think about you orany of that stuff.
Right and uh, I, I saw that andI wanted that because my I am
(37:12):
what I am today because of whatmy parents are every day and my
parents, my mom is the mostChrist-like person that I know.
Absolute heart of gold,absolute lover of people, no
judgment, all love, will takecare of you in any way possible,
(37:33):
and she's already taken care of25 people.
You know, like she had eightkids of her own and she did a
daycare business for like 30years.
And people were like how she?
She had eight kids of her ownand she and she did a daycare
business for like 30 years andpeople were like, how do you
have eight kids and have eightother kids at your house?
And she was like if I just getone kid to laugh every day, then
that's that fills my bucket.
And but she was loving up onkids all the time and my dad my
(37:59):
dad's the wealthiest person thatI know, and it's not money.
I don't know a soul thatdoesn't like my dad and anybody
that knows my dad loves my dadbecause he's just a good man.
I didn't know he went andvisited your grandpa, but that
doesn't surprise me because hewould do something like that and
he probably does it all thetime and doesn't tell anybody
(38:21):
about it sure he does sure hedoes.
So they the, the um.
You know the principles thatthey have taught um, a lot of
inclusivity, a lot of love, alot of that.
That.
Uh, to be a good person I'm I'mworking on a sales course right
now and I have a whole sectionabout being a good person.
I'm working on a sales courseright now and I have a whole
(38:42):
section about being a good human, a whole section about humans
are good and be a good human.
And my parents totally taught methat.
I grew up in Kansas in acountry area mostly white people
.
There was like two black kidsin my school and one of them was
my next door neighbor and mysame age and it was so good and
(39:03):
healthy for me to have thomasross be my next door neighbor
and we were differentethnicities but we bled the same
, we laughed the same, we likedfood the same and my mom and dad
were all welcoming all the time, no judgment ever of anyone,
color, uh, like, uh,socioeconomic.
(39:24):
If they had money didn't havemoney, any of that stuff.
It was all love all the time,and and, uh, they, they.
So they taught me how to be, orto try to be, a good person all
the time and and uh, that soundsso super basic, but it's
actually really powerful, right?
If you're walking down thestreet and you see a Snickers
wrapper on the side of the road,do you pick it up?
(39:44):
Or do you just think, ohsomebody else put that there,
why'd they put that there?
Or do you not even think aboutit?
A really good human would gopick that thing up and put it in
the trash so a dog didn't getit or didn't pollute it for
somebody else.
Right, simple things like that.
Right, simple things like that.
Right.
But doing that over and overand over again and finding the
one, finding somebody that wouldneed love and care and support,
(40:05):
and actually going out of theirway to go do something about it
that's what they taught me todo and I'm trying to teach my
kids and trying to teach otherpeople to do be a good human I
got called on the carpet.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
This last weekend we were.
We were down in St George andwe were walking out of a Walmart
and I don't enjoy Walmart atall but there were carts
everywhere and my kids are goingto laugh because they're like
this is going to end up on thepodcast someday.
It's ending up on the podcastjust the next week.
But I said you know what reallylike ruffles my feathers is
(40:45):
that people can't take threeextra seconds and walk their
carts back to the place wherecarts go.
As I'm walking past all thesecarts, there's like probably 12
of them just on the sidewalkscattered and my 18 year old
daughter goes yeah, but I'm justgoing to walk past him and
complain about it and I was likeyou got me.
(41:06):
I'm like, okay, everybody graba cart.
And I got all.
I got four teenagers that arejust shaking their heads at me
like, oh God, dad, you know.
But we cleaned up that wholeaisle of carts with all the
complaining and the weeping,wailing and gnashing of teeth.
We got in and they're like thisis going to go in his next book
(41:27):
.
But my daughter called me onthe carpet so I was trying to
teach her.
At one point I taught her don'tcomplain about it, fix it.
And she's like yeah, dad,you're just complaining about it
, do something about it.
Yeah, all right.
So that's really good.
Some of those things stick so.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
So a lesson that happened to my dad that that uh,
that he shared with me.
That stuck with me.
I wasn't even.
I wasn't even a participant inthe experience, but he he said
that he was listening to achurch speaker speak.
They were broadcastingsomething on TV and the message
was about charity and his momwas upstairs with her dad and he
(42:13):
was sick.
He was elderly and needed helpmoving from the bed or needed
some sort of help.
And she yells down Keith, canyou, can you come help me with
grandpa?
I need your help with grandpa.
She's like mom, I'm listeningto this talk about being a good
person, like about charity.
I need to listen to this talkabout charity.
And then he's like or I shouldjust go do charity.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah, little things like that, just stick in your
memory.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
And that's stuck in your memory and that's stuck
with me forever and I've taughtthat same principle to my kids
and hopefully they'll teachtheir kids of like hey, don't
just think about it, their eyeson it.
Like, go do it and if you'vegot an opportunity to think
about it, learn about it.
Or do it, go do it Right.
Go go clean up the carts, Don'tjust complain about it.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
That's another fun story.
Well, I think you talked abouthow you're teaching your kids to
be good humans and that it waskind of basic.
But man, if that's all we didas parents, the world would be
different, yeah.
You know, if we're going tochange the world, it's going to
be in the home, totally.
One home at a time, one personat a time, one generation at a
(43:21):
time, right, so I applaud youfor making them aware that
there's a decision to be made ineveryday life if you're going
to be a good person or not.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, it's awesome Thanks and being it with their
friends, right, being at school,all those things right.
Every interaction they have.
Yeah, we have kids over.
We've started a buzz night atour house Once a month.
We'll have all the youth in ourarea come for like a hangout
and just come hang out and weplay games and we do these
(43:49):
things and there's sometimesthat some kids are off to the
side and you as a I'm not in it.
Right, I'm in it but I'm not.
But just kind of watching thekids you can see and it's funny.
As a kid I didn't really havethose perspective moments very
often.
I would sometimes, but as anadult man, I'm looking at it all
(44:11):
the time this girl right hereneeds some help.
Can anybody else not see that,right?
Can somebody go over and helpthat girl?
And so usually not in themoment, cause you know my kids
would be like dad, I'm playingwith my friends, why you're
trying to teach me a lessonright now, but later, right and
and and and.
Hopefully that sticks enoughthat they start to see that like
, hey, I can tell that so-and-sois just kind of lonely and no
(44:34):
one's talking to them.
Maybe I should go and bringthem with me and come, come hang
out with me and my buddies orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Situational awareness is a muscle.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
And you've exercised it and you've learned it and now
you can see it and recognize it.
And those kids just haven't hadenough time to to use that
muscle.
But being reminded of it, mykids are.
When I die, my, my kids aregoing to stand up and eulogize
me and say my dad taught mesituational awareness.
Amen, okay, at the end of thepodcast Buzz we always ask our
(45:10):
guests to define what they thinkit means to be a gentleman.
Would you do that?
Speaker 3 (45:16):
Yeah, gentleman is a person that's all around, good,
human.
A gentleman is someone thattakes care of women and gives
them the utmost respect everytime.
Yeah, a gentleman is a lover.
(45:39):
A gentleman is somebody thatcares.
It cares for the other, forother people's souls and other
people's hearts.
I like that answer.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Thank you, yeah, amazingly that went by so fast.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
I started asking the last question and I was like no,
it's not time.
But it's time it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You did such a great job, thanks.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Thanks, and I flew by Good.
Good, I'm glad I I hope Ididn't go off on too many rants.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
That, oh no no, no, that was great.
Um, if, if you want to followAshton Buswell, you'll be a
better person for it.
He might teach you some salesskills, but it'll probably teach
you more about life and salesand in sales, and, uh, it's a
(46:24):
blessing.
When I see him on my socialmedia feeds, I pay attention to
what he has to say because he'scoming from it, from a place of
love.
So, if you want to followAshton Buswell, are you having,
like, the blue check mark nextto your name?
Yet I just did, yeah, okay, Iwas kind of kidding, but it's
real.
He's verified at Ashton Buswell.
That's right.
Okay, and if you're, if you'relooking for a sales motivator, a
(46:47):
sales discipline guy, he's yourman.
If you were listening to Ashtonspeak today and you felt a
prompt in your stomach that youneeded to change, do something
better or just a little tint ofmotivation, act on that good
(47:08):
thought and share this podcastwith someone that you love.
That's what you can do for us.
If you want to like, share,subscribe so that you get the
newest podcast episodes to thetop of your podcast feed, we'd
love that.
If you want to go, check outthe book the parent's guide to
eating an elephant on Amazon.
I'm pretty sure it's the onlybook named that on Amazon, so
(47:29):
just search it up and, uh,hopefully that'll give you some
stuff to work on in your familyas well.
So, ashton Buswell, it's beenan honor.
Thank you, it's been mypleasure.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Ashton, thank you, it's been an honor.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Thank you, it's been my pleasure.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Ashton.
Thank you, my good friend,Thanks everyone.
Welcome to the Gentleman Project Podcast.
I'm Corey Moore.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Kirk Chug.
Today, to my right, we arejoined with Ashton Buswell.
He is one of the guys I grew upwith.
He moved into my high schoolwhen I was a junior and he was a
sophomore with his brother andwe were just like stars in our
eyes because these two guys fromthe midwest super rock, solid
(00:30):
athlete, performer, wrestler,football players were going to
come and make our team, uh,state champions yeah, is that?
What happened?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
he won the state championship when he was a
senior.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Good work I can say without a shadow of a doubt
without ashton buzzwell on thathigh school football team, they
would not have won the.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I have to ask whether , even if you cut this out, I
don't know if you want people toknow your ages, but what year
was that that you won thechampionship?
Speaker 3 (00:58):
1999, 99, so class of 2000, but it was in the fall.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I had some friends in 98 I think, but not 99 that I
remember okay, yeah, I was justa year in front of him and
buzzwell has gone on to do a lotof really cool things in his
life, but one of the things Iknow he's most proud of is the
family that he's raising and therelationship and marriage that
he has with his wife, lydia Forsure.
(01:25):
And he's in town from San Diegotoday.
We connected about the podcast.
The book just came out and Ithink he was one of my first
supporters that went on andbought a book, nice.
And then we connected.
He says, hey, why don't we do apodcast while I'm in Salt Lake?
So here we are.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
And I said, you have famous people on here all the
time.
Now you're even more famous.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Whatever man.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I just want to be famous to my kids.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Well, and you told me that you told me that that was
one of your things.
So tell us a little bit aboutyou and Lydia, your family.
Give us a little bit of context, what you do for a living.
He's if you're in the salesindustry, which is a huge
industry.
But if you're in the salesindustry, you know Ashton
Boswell.
He is like a lightning bolt onstage.
(02:17):
He does the Haka, uh, to getpeople motivated.
Like this guy is full energyall the time.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
So when Kurt's telling me, you're basically
like a sales legend at thispoint.
That's what he told me today,so you got to tell me all about
it.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I think that's better than sales influencer, because
I don't know, that's icky but uhbut he is, uh.
He's very well respected withinthe industry and has changed a
lot of people's lives because ofit, and I've always respected
Ashton, and so I'm lookingforward to learning from you
today.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah, yeah, man, I'm blushing.
Right now you guys can't seethis.
I'm blushing, but I I'mgrateful to.
That was a nice intro, Kurt,Thanks man, no thanks, I used to
beat me up on the footballfield.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
It was mutual.
It was mutual.
We beat each other up, smasheach other, that's right.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I a little bit about me and my family, um, married to
beautiful Lydia Buzzwell.
Lydia Polikoff Buzzwell.
She goes and now drop Polikoff,but, um, we have four daughters
.
So I know this is a gentlemanpodcast.
I'm the only gentleman at thehouse right now and I'm not
growing any gentlemen, I'mgrowing ladies.
But I'm happy to talk through alittle bit of the gentleman
(03:29):
side and the lady side.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Well absolutely, they go hand in hand, they go hand
in hand.
You got to raise those ladiesto want a true gentleman.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, and, and, and I'm trying to show them what it?
Is to be a good man, and uh, sothe ages that the girls for um
14, 11, six and three, and uh,our three year old, three year
old, just did some poopoos onthe potty.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So that's a big.
I remember that now, but thatis a big deal Actually.
Everybody on the podcast ischeering for you.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
right now, everybody should be like, yes, and she's
gonna love this one, you know sothat's huge yeah, someday
she'll listen in 15 years she'llbe like.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I remember when dad said that on the podcast, you
said what about what?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
yeah, so now that they're my, they're my pride and
joy, they, they, uh, I love, Ilove being a dad and uh, and
being a husband and all of thatentails.
But I'm I'm the worker on thework side, I'm a speaker, I, I,
I speak and present, mostly onsales.
I'm real passionate about, uh,having a balanced life that I'm.
(04:33):
I'm in the process of writing abook.
I don't have a book out yet,but I'm in the process of
writing a book.
I maybe have chat GBT plug itin or I won't do that, but I'll
have.
I've got the framework of it andI've had it for like two years,
but I just need to, like, sitdown and take the time to do it.
It's not, there's no such thingas a balanced life.
That's the misnomer.
It's about having harmony, andso the whole book is about
(04:54):
having harmony in the home andharmony in your life not
necessarily a balanced life andhow you can be all in where you
are, when you're there and getreally, really effective use of
your time and day and all thatstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
We love that both, cory and I are nodding our heads
because we have talked so muchabout this.
Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
It's so important yeah so, and then I and I um do
a lot of sales training, so I'mI'm working on a course for
brand new sales reps.
If anybody wanted to look atinstagram, that's probably the
best place.
Where I have most of my stuffat Ashton Boswell Uh, that's
where a lot of my sales tips andthings will go and just get
some good free value there.
But I also post on there a lotof about my family because I'm
(05:34):
super passionate about thatstuff and I want people to see
you can be successful inbusiness and at home and at and
physical fitness and all of it.
Right, you don't have to be aone-trick pony.
You can do a lot, and so I'mtrying to be that example for as
many people as I can.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You can't see Ashton's biceps from here, but
he is probably in the best shapeof his life, would you say.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I've got the most muscle that I've ever had in my
life.
I wrestled in college and I wasin the best shape of my life my
freshman year of college.
As far as like actual physicalfitness.
I was in incredible shape andI'm not quite there, but I had
more muscle than I did then.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So did you win a state championship in high
school as well?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I won state twice, twice Yep.
And then I won junior collegenationals before I served
admission for my church and thenwent back and wrestled at
University of North Carolina ohwow, and I'm actually in
wrestling again.
So I got into old guy wrestling.
Yeah, this is what I want totalk about.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
One of my friends posted about it on social media
that they were doing a master'swrestling event and I was like
I've had some good goals thelast couple of years, like
around my physical fitness, andI thought what can I do to
continue to do that?
I had a goal to do 50 pull-upsin a row and tendonitis kind of
messed that up.
I almost got there.
I got to 40 and then I pivotedmy goal and and one of the years
(06:50):
I decided to wrestle at the U Sopen and it was a neat
experience, 40 years old,wrestling out there.
Normally your kids don't get tosee you wrestle.
There's no like pickupwrestling.
There's pickup basketball.
If you're good at basketballyou can show your kids hey, look
, I was good at this when I wasa kid, but there's nothing like
that for wrestling, you know.
And so it was a really neatexperience to be out there two
years ago and uh and wrestle.
(07:12):
And I came real present.
I wrestled 11 matches in like23, 22 hours.
My brother Tyler that's yourage was there down there with me
.
He's like, dude, if you'regonna do this, I want to come
coach you.
And he said you've done someincredible physically fit things
in your life, but that, as a 40year old, is maybe one of the
most incredible things I've everseen which I felt that way too,
cause I was not in as good ashape as I needed to be.
(07:34):
But anyway, two, two differenttimes on the mat.
I remember sitting standing outthere and the reps had to talk
about something, and justbecoming really present to my
little kids in the standscheering for dad.
It was so cool.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
And I was and I like got teary-eyed.
I'm supposed to be beatingpeople up, you know, like my
opponent, but I like legit gotteary-eyed at two different
occasions.
Like this is special becausethey don't.
They don't get to see, theydon't get to cheer me on.
They're cheering for me.
When I come home and I say Igot a sale today, all the girls
are like yay, you know, they'reexcited, but like to see me get
(08:08):
in the arena and have a reasonto cheer for dad was a super
cool experience.
And the same thing for my wife,right, she's a concert pianist.
She can just jam at anything onthe piano and we have a piano
at our house.
She's like I can, I can showyou what I was good at anytime,
but you can't really show usthat with your wrestling.
(08:29):
But I was, and so anyway, thisyear I I tore my labrum in that.
That met that two years ago,and so I've been recovering and
tried to bulk up a little bitand I'm going to do it again at
the end of this month.
And then I've I've decided I'mgoing to wrestle at the world
championships.
You might as well.
If you're going to go big, youmight as well go represent the
United States of America Right.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Good for you so that's supercool.
That's on my roadmap this year,so talk to us a little bit more
about the harmony thing, causeobviously you you're have either
figured this out or you'refiguring it out and you're
talking about writing in yourbook about it.
So dive deeper.
What does that mean to you, andhow have you learned the
(09:06):
harmony thing?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, and I wish I could say I came up with that
idea first.
I didn't, and nobody.
People talk about it too, butI'm not the only one that's like
, yeah, this is a novel idea.
But the um, I I've, I'velearned it and I, you know
anything that you're good at.
Anybody that's an expert inanything is really not all the
way perfect at it.
But they're just a little bitfurther ahead.
(09:28):
Right, and I'm not perfect atharmony and I'm not even
probably that much further.
You guys may have more harmonyat home than I do.
I don't know.
It's hard to judge that thing,right, but as you, as you think
about it and you focus on it andyou try to make it a part of
you and what you're, what you'regoing for, then then things
(09:48):
start to dial in a little bitmore Right, and it kind of first
started happening when I um,when Lydia and I, we moved into
a new house three years ago andnow we can exercise at the same
time because there's enoughspace and our kids are old
enough that we've got an oldenough kid that we could both
leave and go for a run or go tothe gym, and it would be okay,
you know, but when we hadyounger kids and we didn't have
that, there was one time slotwhen the coveted time slot in
(10:13):
the morning to go exercise and Igave it to my wife and at the
time I thought it was thebiggest sacrifice.
I need to run too, I need toexercise too, I need to do these
things, but it was on as a mom.
You're on 24 seven right?
My daughter came in andsnuggled with my wife last night
and sometimes I get thesnuggles, but she got it last
(10:34):
night right.
But at four o'clock in themorning she's trying to just
sleep, you know, but she has tobe mom.
And so what I realized was thatif I gave her that prime time
spot, there was a lot moreharmony in my home.
There was a lot moreopportunity for her to get her
(10:55):
mind off of everything not beresponsible for kids, not be
responsible for cooking meals,cleaning anything, shipping
people around.
She could just go for a run orlift some weights or whatever it
was.
And when she, when I gave mywife that opportunity to have
her balance time and her alonetime, it really recharged her
(11:15):
and then it let me do tons ofstuff.
I was at that time, I wasreally trying to get the rocket
ship off the ground for my solarsales career and and I was
spending extra time doing thatsometimes.
Sometimes I'd wake up and go toa business network meeting in
the morning at six or seven inthe morning, seven o'clock in
the morning and leave the houseat six in the morning and I
wouldn't get home till nineo'clock at night.
(11:36):
So I'm not even seeing the kidsall day and she has to be there
.
But as long as I, you knowthose days she wouldn't be able
to go run, I would take thatmorning spot.
But as long as I, you knowthose days she wouldn't be able
to go run, I would take thatmorning spot, but as long as I
would give her those other timesthere was a lot more harmony in
my house and I was like, wow,how else can I make sure that
there's harmony here?
And a few things that have beenreally, really helpful for me
(11:56):
with my relationship with mywife and my relationship with my
kids is having scheduled datenights Again not a novel idea,
but something we do.
I got asked to be a bishop atchurch for a little while and
right after that happened, I wasa young bishop and we came out
into the parking lot after wewere asked and I'm like, did
that really just happen?
And we had gone on dates, kindof.
(12:19):
But we made a decision in thatcar we have to go on a date
every single week.
I'm already really, really busy.
I'm a national sales director.
I'm running the San Diego area.
I'm the top sales guy in ourcompany.
Um, you know I got all thesethings already, but you're the
most important earthlyrelationship that I have.
So we have to do this and we,for five years we missed maybe
(12:43):
one or two times.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
And she could count on it and it was the most
important account event in mycalendar and it wasn't.
I used to kind of be a littlefrugal, cheap, whatever you want
to call it on the dates andjust kind of try to do fun stuff
or cheaper things.
And then I was like no, this isan investment man, this is like
the most important investment,the most important calendar time
, so that that became anabsolute, non-negotiable.
(13:06):
And then a mentor of mine saidas often as you date your wife,
you should date your kids.
And I was like I go on a datewith her every week.
And he's like you should go ona date with each of your kids
every week.
And I was like I can't do that,dude, that's, that's too much.
But I can go on a date with oneof my kids every week.
So every week I have adaddy-daughter date and my girls
, they just can't wait for thatand they know they're going to
(13:29):
have that time and again.
At the start I was trying toteach them good lessons, like
all right, you've got $7, andyou can use it all today, you
can save some and we'll do abigger activity next month.
Or I was trying to teach somebudgeting and then finally I was
like no man, whatever you wantto do, let's go.
I don't care, you choose, I'llchoose who's going to choose?
(13:49):
Sometimes they choose,sometimes I choose, but that
monthly connection at leastmonthly connection has really
helped me with having harmonywith my kids.
Another thing that's been reallyhelpful is to have meaningful
connections.
So a goal that I have every daybefore 10 o'clock is to have a
meaningful connection with myGod, with my physical body, with
(14:10):
my mental body so affirmationsor reading or listening to
things right With my wife andeach one of my kids and my
three-year-old is now old enoughthat I can communicate and talk
with her, but when she was sixmonths old it was legit getting
in her face and locking eyes andjust being with her and her
(14:30):
being with me, right, and and ifI can do that before 10, all
those things before 10 AM, I'veabsolutely won the day and the
rest of my day.
Whether I get lots of sales ordon't get a lot of sales or have
good conversations or don't, ithonestly doesn't really matter,
because the most importantthings I've already accomplished
.
But meaningful connections too,not just a connection.
(14:53):
Too often with spouses and kidsit's like how's your day?
How was soccer practice?
Good, not like how are youfeeling and is anything going
wrong at school?
What's your favorite part ofschool?
What are the things that you'remissing?
Are your friends Right?
Like a meaningful interactionwith somebody, with my kids.
So my most sacred hour everyday is between 6.45 and 7.45 in
(15:14):
the morning.
I wake my kids up, I get thembreakfast, get them ready for
school, walk them to the busstop.
I used to walk them to schooland we lived closer to the
school.
But that hour in the morning, amonthly date night with my kids
and a weekly date night with mywife and the meaningful
connections all along the wayare again, if you calculate the
(15:36):
amount of time that is, that'sactually not a lot of time
compared to the rest of my life,right, but if I can hand, if I
can do those things, and thenI'm in a lot better situation.
So I feel like I'm rambling.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
No, that was all on point man, that was all on point
and stuff.
We were going to ask you anyway.
So that's awesome, what anamazing, what an amazing time.
And everybody that's listeningto you know I find myself saying
, well, you know, my Everybodythat's listening to you know I
find myself saying, oh, you know, my situation is different now,
or my kids aren't that age, andit's not so much about doing
(16:12):
exactly what Ashton just said.
Right, it's about thepurposeful nature in which you
approach it and in yoursituation, what does that look
like?
Yeah, yeah, and what hours ofthose days For me, my connection
comes with look like yeah, yeah, and what hours of those days.
For me, my connection comeswith my kids at night when we
pray and read scripture, right,and that's usually when they
(16:34):
open up.
They're tired, but morningsmornings are different at my
house than they are at yourhouse, and that's fine, um, but
it's.
It's finding that and, dude,when we started doing weekly
date nights, it's not only goodfor for us, because this is
(16:54):
something that Karen and Idecided we were going to do it's
Thursday nights for us.
When somebody says, hey, weshould get together and do
something, I say Thursday's,thursday's, my open night.
If you want to get together anddo something, I say Thursdays,
thursday's, my open night.
If you want to get together anddo something with me and Karen,
we're open Thursdays, andusually those nights they look
(17:15):
like every other night, exceptmy kids.
Now, instead of saying are yougoing on a date night with mom,
they say where are you going ona date night with mom?
Yeah, say where are you goingon a date night with mom?
Totally, and they expect it,and I hope that that's something
that in the future they say youknow what my parents always did
this.
They valued their relationshipso much that they took time away
(17:40):
and they did it every week andthey did it consistently.
It's the example that you'resetting for your daughters.
Sure, say, your husbands needto be invested in you.
They need to do this.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah, you've heard it .
But the most important thing isOne of the most important
things that I can do for mydaughters is love their mom and
date their mom, like that'sshowing them love and compassion
.
And my kids get all.
They close their eyes when weget all gooey, and you know what
I mean, and I'm like, oh, don'tkiss in front of us, right, all
that stuff that's so important.
(18:11):
And the date night is like it'sthat right, like my parents,
this is what they did.
So I expect my marriage to alsobe that way.
And if we're not doing this,and why aren't we doing this and
why did my parents do it?
And and yeah, I agree a hundredpercent, that's that's so, so
important.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
So you seem like you're a pretty disciplined guy
You'd have to be to do some ofthe things that you've told us
you've done.
And I, from what?
I wasn't a wrestler but but oneof my brother-in-law was and
he's like it's the hardest sport, corey, I'm telling you it's
the hardest, it's the mostdedication and I'm like I get it
.
I, I see that.
So so with wrestling with youknow the date nights, things you
(18:51):
told me I'm seeing discipline.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
There's sometimes when I get off track, like I've
tried to do date nights with mykids and then relax, and then
I'll be like, no, you got to getback in it.
So do you have something inyour life where you read refocus
once a year or once a quarter,or just to make sure, am I doing
what I said I was going to do,or do I need to realign my
priorities, because there'stimes and seasons for everything
(19:14):
?
Right, if you're going to findharmony.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
So what's your way?
I'm just kind of curious on,like, how do you keep yourself
focused, disciplined or alignedwith your goals, that kind of
thing?
Yeah, we do a couple of things.
So my wife and I try to do asome sort of staycation or trip,
just her and I, every quarter,and we do one big trip a year,
um, and we also want to take ourkid.
We take, we do littlestaycations with our kids and
we'll just take them away, notvery far usually, and that has
been so.
We just came back from one ofthose.
(19:45):
We went up to Yosemite, got anAirbnb.
It was far enough away.
There was no activities forkids to do.
We're just hanging, right,we're just together.
But that gives us anopportunity to like, talk about
meaningful things if we choose,about meaningful things if we
choose and sometimes we don't,sometimes it's just we're, we're
here together, we're just beingtogether, right, um, but I want
I try to have at least one, oneof those a year be around,
(20:07):
let's talk about where thingsare at as a family, you know, in
a bigger way than just, likeyou know, on sunday nights or
whatever, when we're at home, um, Um.
So I, I do that and somethingthat's been really effective for
me the last couple of years isaround my.
My whole life is to write aletter to myself instead of
(20:28):
writing out goals and in sales,the last couple of years I've
been what I've been trying to do, uh and and maybe it's just
maybe, maybe it's not sales,maybe it's just my trying to win
at life.
If you, if we call, if youcalled me on the phone, I would
say how are you doing?
I'd be like, good man, I'mwinning, are you winning?
Like that's how I answer thephone and trying to win at life.
(20:48):
I start to formulate my ideasfor what I'm going to do the
next year around the end ofNovember, because a lot of
people take December really slowand if I can start my year
almost in December, I got aheadstart on everybody right.
So around that time I'm kind offormulating what I'm going to do
the next year and then I writea letter to myself from my
(21:09):
future self, and it's been areally impactful exercise.
So I write a letter to myselffrom myself on the, as if I'm
writing from December 31st 2020,this year, december 31st 2024.
And on the plane right herethis morning, I read my letter
that I wrote to myself and inthat letter I'm real descriptive
(21:30):
on the things that I want tohave happen.
And it's not just like went ona trip to Croatia, you know what
, you know wrestled at this,this, and that.
Whatever it's like descriptive.
I'm doing this because of thisand and this is how it feels,
and I'm trying to pull inemotion and I'm trying to be
real descriptive on why I'mdoing those things.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
It's like a movie of.
This is how it felt.
This is what it looked like.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
This is what I accomplished and it honestly
helps my discipline because andI and I try to, you know, I, I,
I try to create an atmospherewhere it's going to be a really
good time for me to write thatletter.
If I'm getting distracted, ifI'm getting, you know, I, so I
need to have some alone time andI need to kind of prep for it.
(22:13):
Um, but, like the last couple oftimes that I've done it, it's,
it's felt spiritual, like thiswas like I was writing a
blessing for my life, but it'sonly as good as I me reading it
more and more Right and Irevisited some things and and I
okay, I'm off track here, rightOf of where I want to be, and
where I want to be is where thatletter says and that letter
(22:35):
isn't like be a 10 billionaire,you know like it's like actual
things that I can actually do.
That may be a stretch, and lastyear's one, I accomplished
every single thing but one, andthen, and most of it was a
stretch, like last year was anawesome year for me in that
regard, and I read the letterlike almost every day for the
first month and then a couple oftimes throughout each month,
(22:58):
month, the following months andit was cool to just kind of see
how things were were coming intoplay.
So, um, that's been aneffective tool.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
The last that's a really good one.
I haven't, I haven't heard itput quite like that before.
I like that idea a lot.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Instead, I like it better than new year's
resolutions or goals, not thatyou can't have goals, but it's
the same thing as a goal, butit's like written out yeah, and
this has already been done, yeahit's really cool.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
What a cool skill that would be to teach your kids
.
Are you teaching that to yourdaughters?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Yeah, I've talked to them about it.
They haven't really and it's onme right as the parent we
haven't really exercised.
I've talked to him about it,I've shown him my letter and
some of it's like even maybe toopersonal for me to share, you
know, with them, yeah, and, butI've shared.
I'm sure they're part of theletter.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
They're in the letter .
Yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
They're in the letter .
So can I share something?
I thought about sharing this.
Yeah, absolutely A littletangent from what we were
talking about, but I was like,what can I share that would be
valuable on this podcast forpeople?
And I thought of three thingsand so I'll just spin them out.
We can talk about them.
(24:10):
One of the first ones that wetalked about that went along
with the meaningful connectionswas to listen with your eyes.
I asked a guy that I reallyrespected After I was just
married he had 13 kids and I andhe was doing he's a sales
trainer and and he was liketraining us and I said how do
you have like, where do youstart having wanting to have 13
kids?
He's like Ash, no one startswanting to have 13 kids, right,
(24:33):
and he's like it just kind ofhappened.
But as a new dad, as a newhusband, I was very curious how
his relationship was was, was,was with his wife and I said how
do you be a good husband?
And he said, ashton, you listenwith your eyes.
And that was so crazy impactfulto me because so often we have
our phones and with our kids.
(24:53):
If you want to, if you want toconnect with your kid listen
with your eyes.
Our phones get in the way andwe're talking like oh yeah,
uh-huh sure, and they know we'renot paying attention.
And anytime my kids say, dad,put your phone down, I'm like
dang it, they got me.
Or I'm not really listening orpaying attention.
But I try my best to listenwith my eyes and I'll even tell
them.
If they come into me and I'm inthe middle of something, I'll
(25:14):
say, hey, listen, I'm in themiddle of something.
I'll say, hey, listen, I'm inthe middle of this.
I can't listen with my eyesright now, but if you want to
talk to me, you can.
But once I'm done with this,I'll be able to listen with my
eyes.
Is that okay?
And most of the time they'lljust, you know, they'll just go
for it without me like stopping,but I I'll let them know like I
can't be as engaged with you asI want to be.
So that was one idea.
(25:37):
I love that.
That's great.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, and it's it's language that you're using in
your home.
Yeah, that your kids nowunderstand the language.
If you said that to a kid thatgrew up outside your home,
they'd be like what are youtalking about?
Speaker 3 (25:51):
You listen to your ears.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good job.
The kids, the kids have that.
So that was one idea.
Another idea was dad growing up,when we would go on wrestling.
We'd go on trips.
I grew up in Kansas and wewould wake up at crazy early
times in the morning and drivehours to a little podunk town in
Kansas and there would be awrestling meet there and we'd
(26:14):
wrestle and me and my brotherwould sleep, my dad would drive
and then on the way home wewould be talking and he would
say to us and and I it's funny,tyler, that was wrestling with
me all the time he had the sameexperience as me.
But oftentimes I think my dadwas just talking to me, you know
, like maybe that's selfish ormaybe that's just me as a kid,
(26:34):
whatever.
Like my dad asked me thisquestion, but he would ask us.
He would say, once we kind oftalked a little bit about some
things, he'd say Ashton, tyler,whoever was there with him, do
you want to talk about girls ordo you want to talk about
wrestling?
And and when my dad asked thatquestion, that was his
opportunity to be like hey,let's have it, let's now have a
meaningful conversation, and I'mgoing to let you choose what.
(27:05):
What you want to do.
Is it going to be aboutwrestling?
Sometimes it'd be aboutwrestling, and then other times
it'd be about girls, right, orabout anything else that was
going on in my life that that Iwanted to talk, talk to my dad
about.
So I tried to do this with mykids and I was, I was asking you
know, some of my girls werejust I was asking them life
questions, on our dates.
We'd stop and I'd start askingthem and they would respond.
One kid though I was like hey,so how's school Like, what's
(27:25):
going on at school?
She, she was looking up at thestars and she said stars.
And I said well, what, whatlike are you?
Are you having fun at school?
Is thing, are things good atschool?
And she was like moon, and shewas just kept dodging the
question.
And then I finally said do you,do you want to talk about life
or the galaxy?
And she was like the galaxy,perfect.
(27:49):
And so now that question hasbecome my question, because my
girls aren't wrestling, so Ican't talk about life or or
girls, but I can talk about lifefor the galaxy.
And I now I've downloaded anapp on my phone that has all the
star tracker and if they saygalaxy, we go in on the galaxy,
and I've never been intotelescopes, but I'm probably
going to buy one and and youknow this, this configuration
(28:12):
over here, and where's Mars?
Let's find Mars, and you knowwhat I mean.
But but that's become an avenueor a question, a question, and
that's going to be a questionfor everybody.
That's going to be a little bitdifferent, but for me as a kid,
I recognized that this is mydad wanting to have a
conversation with me.
And now, hopefully, my girlshave that same recognition.
Like now, dad, because I'masking about school and teacher
(28:35):
and whatever else.
But like, hey, do you want totalk about life or do you want
to talk about the galaxy?
Oh, okay, dad wants to talkabout something.
Do you know what I mean?
Just as like a little littleindicator.
So find finding a way totransition into something like
that.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, well, that was, that was Keith Buswell's
gentleman project.
Like, my experience with myboys was a right before bed
let's.
Let's talk about what it meansto be a gentleman for five
minutes.
Yeah, right, and sometimes wetalked about what was on the
board and what a gentleman was,and sometimes we talked about
other stuff they had questionsabout.
Yeah, and that was theirlicense, their avenue to have
(29:10):
access to me, their dad yeah,and so that was Keith Buswell's
Gentleman Project.
Yeah, I freaking love that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
We got to talk about your dad after your third point
too, by the way.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about my dad because
he's well worth a greatgentleman.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Third point was kind of back to the wrestling thing
of what are we, as dads, givingour kids something to cheer for,
like?
Are we giving our kidssomething that our kids can be
like in our corner?
Some dads do.
Some dads are all in with theirkids and they're cheering their
(29:45):
dad on because he's really goodat hunting or he's really good
at this thing, and they look upto their dad about that thing,
and other dads don't.
Other dads are kind of justgoing with the flow, or parents,
but this is a gentleman project.
But as a dad, are we?
What are we doing that we're?
We're giving our kids somethingto cheer about, and if we're
(30:09):
not doing something, then weshould figure something out.
And it doesn't have to bewrestling at the world
championships right, it can bereally good fishermen, or they
tie their flies, or.
Or we love to go hunting, or welove to go play pickleball.
My dad is a really goodpickleball player, you know, and
I love cheering my dad on andmy I'll go with my dad when he
(30:31):
plays and I'll watch him andlike, and you and it's uh, it
isn't something, maybenecessarily that you like, like,
like, hey, I want you to cheerfor me about this, but it's more
about who you are.
Right as a person are you?
Are you finding a way that youcan inspire your own kids?
And and if you're not inspiringthem like you've got to, you've
got to first find somethingthat inspires you about you.
(30:53):
Inspired by you, no one else isgoing to be inspired by.
You got to do some things thatare a little out of the ordinary
, maybe a little crazy, thatthat are pushing you to be a
better person, and then they'llbe inspired by that.
And then, if other people areinspired by that, too cool, but
it's mostly down to you.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I like that a lot.
And showing your kids,inspiring your kids I like that
word and I actually haven'tthought about that before.
I think there's a few placeswhere I probably have, but I
think I don't think it's everbeen on purpose.
Why not do that on purpose?
Why not show your kidssomething cool?
You know, even talk to themabout this as a goal I have, and
(31:32):
you're going to watch me worktowards it.
Plus, you're giving yourself abunch of accountability if you
do that with your kids, becausethere's no way I'm going to tell
my kids I have a goal and notachieve it Right, like that's
big time pressure.
Yeah, so I love that.
I haven't ever thought of itthat way.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
And even, and even if you don't make it like just
putting it out there and showingthem that you're doing
something, they know that yougave it the effort, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
That actually might even be a better.
A better lesson is if you don'tquite get there Right, but they
saw the effort right, Right.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
If they see you win, they're cheering you win.
If they see you lose, they'relearning what that now?
Now, what do you do when?
this happens Because we lose alot more than we win in in our
interactions in life, right?
So if, if dad starts throwingthings and cussing and kicking
things, like okay, I guessthat's how you're supposed to
react.
Or if dad is like you know what, I'm going to get it next time
(32:24):
and that's all good that I lost,because now I've got this
motivation and I can learn thisand I I'm going to adjust here
and tweak this and pivot here.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yeah, Right.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
That's cool.
Teach him some resilience andsome grit.
And okay, my dad, he wentthrough some hard things and
yeah, he didn't quite reach hisgoals.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
That's okay.
That makes it okay for me notto quite reach my goals, but I
should set goals because dad did.
Yeah, it's good.
Can I share something with youguys?
Yep, um, I guess if you were umfollowing some of my social
media as we were launching thebook, um, you may have seen this
um that I posted in a privategroup.
But uh, cory, I don't thinkyou've you've seen this.
So we were waiting for like fouror five days for the book to
publish and my kids knew, likewhen started the book, that the
(33:09):
book was coming, that the bookhadn't been released yet.
Dad was still working on thebook.
The book is out there in theether somewhere and then we
published it and we were waitingfor amazon to make it available
for purchase and as soon as ithit, my wife posted a link in
our family chat and my kids werelike sweet congratulations,
(33:30):
papa, you know.
And my 13 year old daughterlike this is one of the coolest
texts I've ever gotten.
She said great job, I'm soproud of you.
Like I literally teared up whenI read it.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
They saw.
They saw that this wassomething dad was going to do.
He said he was going to do it.
It got done.
And when she said I'm proud ofyou, like that's just so cool,
so cool, so.
That's just so cool, so cool,so that's what it's about.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
That's what it's all about, dude, right, and that's
that's so.
That's them cheering you onright.
They've been in your corner.
Dad's writing this book.
He's he can do it and to see itcome to fruition.
There's not, there's not, manybetter texts than that text
right there, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
So, um, let's talk about your parents, because I am
I don't interview many peoplein the podcast that I know their
parents, but I have a shortstory that I want to tell about
your dad.
He was one of the first guysthat grabbed me when I went into
the custom clothing industryand he was like here's what you
need to do, here's some peopleyou need to know, and he kind of
mentored me a little bit, eventhrough email, and he kind of
mentored me a little bit, eventhrough email.
(34:47):
And then he was in a leadershipposition in the church where my
grandfather, who passed away twoyears ago at the age of 91, he
had stewardship over my grandpaand my grandpa was really lonely
and he really, really, really,really respected your dad and
your dad would often take thetime to come and visit with my
(35:07):
grandpa cool and make sure thathe knew he was seen and not
forgotten by someone outside ofhis family.
And I knew this about your dadbecause I knew him and it didn't
surprise me.
But you've had a really goodexample from your dad of the
(35:28):
type of man you want to becomeand I in no doubt know that
that's why your family is theway it is because you've had
great leaders in your mom anddad.
But talk to us more about someof the things that your parents
taught you, and how are youteaching them to your kids?
Speaker 3 (35:45):
dude you're making me cry about my, get choked up
about my dad.
My parents are my heroes,without a doubt, and I I was
just at my parents a few weeksago and this I, I, um, my wife's
grandma was like, hey, I'mgonna die sometime.
If you want some stuff, let'sstart putting some names on the
(36:07):
back of some of my things, youknow.
And I said I, I went in and atmy parents house there's some
cool things, but there's thisold beat up sign that my dad had
in his office, all grown up,and the sign said and I saw it
(36:27):
and I said I want this, can Ihave this like sometime, someday
?
And it's just a piece of paperwith writing on it.
I could write the same thing,but it was the sign that I saw
and it said I am what I am todaybecause of what my parents are
every day.
And I think that was a goodreminder to my dad that he needs
to be, that he is what he istoday because of his parents,
(36:49):
and he had good parents.
But it was also a reminder tohim to be a good person all of
the time, so that your kids seeyou good all of the time If they
see you bad once.
I mean that tarnishes areputation, quick, right, or
whatever they think about you orany of that stuff.
Right and uh, I, I saw that andI wanted that because my I am
(37:12):
what I am today because of whatmy parents are every day and my
parents, my mom is the mostChrist-like person that I know.
Absolute heart of gold,absolute lover of people, no
judgment, all love, will takecare of you in any way possible,
(37:33):
and she's already taken care of25 people.
You know, like she had eightkids of her own and she did a
daycare business for like 30years.
And people were like how she?
She had eight kids of her ownand she and she did a daycare
business for like 30 years andpeople were like, how do you
have eight kids and have eightother kids at your house?
And she was like if I just getone kid to laugh every day, then
that's that fills my bucket.
And but she was loving up onkids all the time and my dad my
(37:59):
dad's the wealthiest person thatI know, and it's not money.
I don't know a soul thatdoesn't like my dad and anybody
that knows my dad loves my dadbecause he's just a good man.
I didn't know he went andvisited your grandpa, but that
doesn't surprise me because hewould do something like that and
he probably does it all thetime and doesn't tell anybody
(38:21):
about it sure he does sure hedoes.
So they the, the um.
You know the principles thatthey have taught um, a lot of
inclusivity, a lot of love, alot of that.
That.
Uh, to be a good person I'm I'mworking on a sales course right
now and I have a whole sectionabout being a good person.
I'm working on a sales courseright now and I have a whole
(38:42):
section about being a good human, a whole section about humans
are good and be a good human.
And my parents totally taught methat.
I grew up in Kansas in acountry area mostly white people
.
There was like two black kidsin my school and one of them was
my next door neighbor and mysame age and it was so good and
(39:03):
healthy for me to have thomasross be my next door neighbor
and we were differentethnicities but we bled the same
, we laughed the same, we likedfood the same and my mom and dad
were all welcoming all the time, no judgment ever of anyone,
color, uh, like, uh,socioeconomic.
(39:24):
If they had money didn't havemoney, any of that stuff.
It was all love all the time,and and, uh, they, they.
So they taught me how to be, orto try to be, a good person all
the time and and uh, that soundsso super basic, but it's
actually really powerful, right?
If you're walking down thestreet and you see a Snickers
wrapper on the side of the road,do you pick it up?
(39:44):
Or do you just think, ohsomebody else put that there,
why'd they put that there?
Or do you not even think aboutit?
A really good human would gopick that thing up and put it in
the trash so a dog didn't getit or didn't pollute it for
somebody else.
Right, simple things like that.
Right, simple things like that.
Right.
But doing that over and overand over again and finding the
one, finding somebody that wouldneed love and care and support,
(40:05):
and actually going out of theirway to go do something about it
that's what they taught me todo and I'm trying to teach my
kids and trying to teach otherpeople to do be a good human I
got called on the carpet.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
This last weekend we were.
We were down in St George andwe were walking out of a Walmart
and I don't enjoy Walmart atall but there were carts
everywhere and my kids are goingto laugh because they're like
this is going to end up on thepodcast someday.
It's ending up on the podcastjust the next week.
But I said you know what reallylike ruffles my feathers is
(40:45):
that people can't take threeextra seconds and walk their
carts back to the place wherecarts go.
As I'm walking past all thesecarts, there's like probably 12
of them just on the sidewalkscattered and my 18 year old
daughter goes yeah, but I'm justgoing to walk past him and
complain about it and I was likeyou got me.
(41:06):
I'm like, okay, everybody graba cart.
And I got all.
I got four teenagers that arejust shaking their heads at me
like, oh God, dad, you know.
But we cleaned up that wholeaisle of carts with all the
complaining and the weeping,wailing and gnashing of teeth.
We got in and they're like thisis going to go in his next book
(41:27):
.
But my daughter called me onthe carpet so I was trying to
teach her.
At one point I taught her don'tcomplain about it, fix it.
And she's like yeah, dad,you're just complaining about it
, do something about it.
Yeah, all right.
So that's really good.
Some of those things stick so.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
So a lesson that happened to my dad that that uh,
that he shared with me.
That stuck with me.
I wasn't even.
I wasn't even a participant inthe experience, but he he said
that he was listening to achurch speaker speak.
They were broadcastingsomething on TV and the message
was about charity and his momwas upstairs with her dad and he
(42:13):
was sick.
He was elderly and needed helpmoving from the bed or needed
some sort of help.
And she yells down Keith, canyou, can you come help me with
grandpa?
I need your help with grandpa.
She's like mom, I'm listeningto this talk about being a good
person, like about charity.
I need to listen to this talkabout charity.
And then he's like or I shouldjust go do charity.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Yeah, little things like that, just stick in your
memory.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
And that's stuck in your memory and that's stuck
with me forever and I've taughtthat same principle to my kids
and hopefully they'll teachtheir kids of like hey, don't
just think about it, their eyeson it.
Like, go do it and if you'vegot an opportunity to think
about it, learn about it.
Or do it, go do it Right.
Go go clean up the carts, Don'tjust complain about it.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
That's another fun story.
Well, I think you talked abouthow you're teaching your kids to
be good humans and that it waskind of basic.
But man, if that's all we didas parents, the world would be
different, yeah.
You know, if we're going tochange the world, it's going to
be in the home, totally.
One home at a time, one personat a time, one generation at a
(43:21):
time, right, so I applaud youfor making them aware that
there's a decision to be made ineveryday life if you're going
to be a good person or not.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, it's awesome Thanks and being it with their
friends, right, being at school,all those things right.
Every interaction they have.
Yeah, we have kids over.
We've started a buzz night atour house Once a month.
We'll have all the youth in ourarea come for like a hangout
and just come hang out and weplay games and we do these
(43:49):
things and there's sometimesthat some kids are off to the
side and you as a I'm not in it.
Right, I'm in it but I'm not.
But just kind of watching thekids you can see and it's funny.
As a kid I didn't really havethose perspective moments very
often.
I would sometimes, but as anadult man, I'm looking at it all
(44:11):
the time this girl right hereneeds some help.
Can anybody else not see that,right?
Can somebody go over and helpthat girl?
And so usually not in themoment, cause you know my kids
would be like dad, I'm playingwith my friends, why you're
trying to teach me a lessonright now, but later, right and
and and and.
Hopefully that sticks enoughthat they start to see that like
, hey, I can tell that so-and-sois just kind of lonely and no
(44:34):
one's talking to them.
Maybe I should go and bringthem with me and come, come hang
out with me and my buddies orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Situational awareness is a muscle.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
And you've exercised it and you've learned it and now
you can see it and recognize it.
And those kids just haven't hadenough time to to use that
muscle.
But being reminded of it, mykids are.
When I die, my, my kids aregoing to stand up and eulogize
me and say my dad taught mesituational awareness.
Amen, okay, at the end of thepodcast Buzz we always ask our
(45:10):
guests to define what they thinkit means to be a gentleman.
Would you do that?
Speaker 3 (45:16):
Yeah, gentleman is a person that's all around, good,
human.
A gentleman is someone thattakes care of women and gives
them the utmost respect everytime.
Yeah, a gentleman is a lover.
(45:39):
A gentleman is somebody thatcares.
It cares for the other, forother people's souls and other
people's hearts.
I like that answer.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
Thank you, yeah, amazingly that went by so fast.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
I started asking the last question and I was like no,
it's not time.
But it's time it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You did such a great job, thanks.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
Thanks, and I flew by Good.
Good, I'm glad I I hope Ididn't go off on too many rants.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
That, oh no no, no, that was great.
Um, if, if you want to followAshton Buswell, you'll be a
better person for it.
He might teach you some salesskills, but it'll probably teach
you more about life and salesand in sales, and, uh, it's a
(46:24):
blessing.
When I see him on my socialmedia feeds, I pay attention to
what he has to say because he'scoming from it, from a place of
love.
So, if you want to followAshton Buswell, are you having,
like, the blue check mark nextto your name?
Yet I just did, yeah, okay, Iwas kind of kidding, but it's
real.
He's verified at Ashton Buswell.
That's right.
Okay, and if you're, if you'relooking for a sales motivator, a
(46:47):
sales discipline guy, he's yourman.
If you were listening to Ashtonspeak today and you felt a
prompt in your stomach that youneeded to change, do something
better or just a little tint ofmotivation, act on that good
(47:08):
thought and share this podcastwith someone that you love.
That's what you can do for us.
If you want to like, share,subscribe so that you get the
newest podcast episodes to thetop of your podcast feed, we'd
love that.
If you want to go, check outthe book the parent's guide to
eating an elephant on Amazon.
I'm pretty sure it's the onlybook named that on Amazon, so
(47:29):
just search it up and, uh,hopefully that'll give you some
stuff to work on in your familyas well.
So, ashton Buswell, it's beenan honor.
Thank you, it's been mypleasure.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Ashton, thank you, it's been an honor.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Thank you, it's been my pleasure.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Ashton.
Thank you, my good friend,Thanks everyone.
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