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November 16, 2021 56 mins

JD Dilks is a writer, podcaster, and founder of a non-profit mental health meeting center in Bloomsburg, PA. Today he joins Christine to discuss his experience with mental health and addiction issues, and they begin their conversation with a trigger warning for anyone who may not be prepared to hear stories of suicide, child abuse, and addiction. JD talks about experimenting with drugs and alcohol at the age of 11, then spiralling into alcoholism after a traumatic life event at age 12. He opens up about the shame that often comes with addiction, finding closure after the death of his fiancée, and supporting others who are on the path to sobriety.

JD tells Christine about creating a community of support for LGBTQ+ youth in particular and leaving toxic masculinity behind as a culture, then shares a powerful story about sex trafficking that was featured on his podcast. You’ll also hear why the 12-Step program is so crucial to recovery, which step was the most challenging for JD, why people need to realize they want help on their own, and what you can do if you know someone who’s facing addiction. Today’s conversation highlights the importance of educating ourselves about mental illness and addiction, recognizing the warning signs, and spreading more love through the world as we hold a supportive and welcoming space for those who may be struggling. You can learn more about MJs Progress Not Perfection here.

 

For more information, and other episodes on companies and entrepreneurs who give back, please visit TheGiveBackModel.com. That’s where you can also let Christine know about companies you’ve found that give back, and check out The Give Back Model merchandise, where $5 for every sale goes to charity. Thanks for listening!

 

Episode Highlights:

  • JD Dilks is a writer, podcaster and founder of a non-profit mental health meeting center
  • He shares his experience with mental health and addiction issues, as well as his recovery
  • Stigma around mental illness and addiction
  • JD and his wife opened their mental health facility in May 2021
  • They host AA meetings, NA meetings, trauma meetings, LGBTQ+, medical marijuana meetings, tarot meetings and much more
  • Importance of meeting in person when going through recovery
  • JD began experimenting with drugs and alcohol at age 11 and spiralled into alcoholism after a traumatic event at age 12
  • Pressure on men and boys to push down their feelings and not show their emotions
  • How his center is building a community of support, especially for young people
  • Being open about the shame that often comes with addiction 
  • JD’s important dates along his journey to sobriety
  • Finding closure after losing his fiancée
  • Supporting others through sobriety and accepting that he cannot save everyone
  • Time management
  • Nicole’s story of sex trafficking as shared on JD’s podcast
  • Socially acceptable stereotype of moms drinking wine after a hard day needs to change
  • Everyone’s speed bumps are different, but rock bottom is always getting to the point where you know you need to change
  • Why the 12-Step program is so crucial to recovery and how it can apply to any issue that makes your life unmanageable
  • Step 3 (turning over to a higher power) was the most challenging for JD
  • JD’s comedy career 
  • According to drugabusestatistics.org, 19.4% of people have used illicit drugs at least once  
  • You can check out JD’s podcasts and support MJs Progress Not Perfection here
  • If someone you know and love is struggling with addiction, Al-Anon or NAR-Anon meetings are incredibly helpful
  • People are not ready to get help until they truly want it for themselves - you usually cannot force it
  • JD compares addiction to being in an abusive relationship

  • ·    

    Quotes:

    “I'm like a walking stigma when it comes to my addiction and my recovery and with mental health.”

     

    “[At 12] somebody my age was hit by a car. He died. I didn't know how to take it. I didn't know how to deal with it. And at the time, this was ‘96-’97, so you're told to just push it down, be a man. You can't have feelings as a man. So I pushed things down. And I was like, You know what? I know what will fix this. I'll drink.

     

    “By the time I was a senior in high school, we were drinking almost every single night.”

     

    “Now it's my turn to make sure that my seven-year-old knows it's okay to show his emotions.”

     

    “The biggest successes that we've been seeing are the youth group that have been coming in.”

     

    “For the first time in a decade, I was willing to go to rehab.”

     

    “In addiction, I was open to an extent. I would tell certain people everything, and then certain people nothing.”

     

    “When someone actually does reach out to me like, Hey, I don't want to use (relapse), I know I have a 90% chance of talking them out of a relapse because they've already done the biggest thing and that was reaching out.”

     

    “This is what happens in recovery, is we can't save everybody. And the minute we think we can is the minute your own sobriety is at risk.”

     

    “There's such a stigma with moms and how it's acceptable to drink wine as long as it’s after 5 o’clock. As long as you had a hard day.”

     

    “Doing anything in excess is not okay most of the time.” 

     

    “The first step is, I had a problem with alcohol and my life was unmanageable. But you can take that word alcohol, and put food, you can put an ex's name in there - whatever makes your life unmanageable.”

     

    “Most importantly, you have to figure out all the resentments you have against yourself, and all the things you don't like about yourself.”

     

    “I'm kind of waiting for recreational cannabis to be passed. Because I am not going to have alcohol served in the comedy club, but I'm going to allow consumption.”

     

    “You have to remember when you're talking to that person that is an addict, they love that drug like you would love somebody in a bad relationship, where you're afraid to leave that relationship and start a new one with somebody else because that's the safe relationship for you.” 

     

     

    Links:

     

    The Give Back Model website TheGiveBackModel.com

     

    Follow The Give Back Model on Instagram @thegivebackmodel

     

    Support MJs Progress Not Perfection here

     

    Follow MJs Progress Not Perfection on Instagram @mjsprogressnotperfectionmca

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