Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Artem (00:00):
You read sometimes an
article and the headline of that
article has nothing to do withthe article.
I think we live in that timewhere we don't read the articles
, we read the headlines.
Mila (00:13):
Since your divorce and
with everything that's happened,
what's your perspective onco-parenting?
Artem (00:18):
You really have to think
of what is best for him.
Ilona (00:22):
Can you personally put
everything that happened last
year behind you and be friends?
Artem (00:29):
I mean never, say never.
Ilona (00:31):
What would you like to
see happen in your life in the
next 12 to 18 months?
Artem (00:37):
I just want to be happy.
Ilona (00:38):
Yeah, are you happy now?
Artem (00:41):
I'm happy that I have my
son.
One of my coaches in dancingsaid this one thing whatever
goes in your ear does notnecessarily fly out that easily.
Ilona (00:49):
Remember, you have your
own aura and you either let
people get to you or you knowwhat you are, you know what you
believe in, you know your truthand you just push it back out.
Artem (00:58):
Do you really ever know
your truth?
Mila (01:00):
I think your truth
changes.
I think we change and developand grow as people.
No one knows what actuallyhappened.
They only see what they see onthe tabloids.
Artem (01:10):
They wrote about me like
I'm a monster.
I'm not a confrontationalperson.
Ilona (01:15):
So you're a dancer,
you're not a fighter.
No, yeah.
Artem (01:19):
I know where you're going
with this.
I get it.
Ilona (01:22):
Welcome to the Glamorous
Grind where law meets lifestyle.
I'm Ilona Antonian.
Mila (01:27):
And I'm Mila Aratunian.
We are lawyers, friends andyour insiders to the world of
legal intrigue.
Ilona (01:34):
Every week we're diving
into our most unforgettable
cases and sharing how we balancedrive and determination with a
touch of glam.
Mila (01:42):
So, whether you're a
legal powerhouse chasing success
or just here for the juicystories, grab your favorite
drink, because we're serving upwisdom, wit and plenty of style.
It's law, it's life, it's theGlamorous Grind.
Welcome back to the GlamorousGrind and thank you for joining
(02:13):
us for part two of our interviewwith Artyom Chigvintsev.
We had such a wonderful timesitting down with Artyom and
talking about his life, and wehope you enjoy this next part
just as much as we did.
Ilona (02:23):
We left off talking about
the big changes Artom faced
last year.
He got candid about how thosechanges affected his outlook on
life and how he sees the future.
Mila (02:34):
I want to ask you a
little bit about your practice
as a dancer.
I'm very into sports.
I love everything from weighttraining to yoga.
Into sports, I mean, I loveeverything from weight training
to yoga.
But you know, the amount ofdiscipline it takes to be a
professional athlete is hasalways been like very
interesting to me.
Artem (02:54):
I started dancing when I
was officially, I'd say probably
when I was 14.
When I was living in Moscow, Iremember I was in bed till
probably about 1pm.
Mila (03:07):
Wow.
Artem (03:09):
Yeah, definitely woke up
late.
By four o'clock you in dancestudio, and from four o'clock
till midnight you just danceuntil you pass out, pretty much.
Mila (03:22):
Sounds amazing.
Where do I?
Artem (03:24):
sign up.
Dance until you pass out.
Pretty much sounds amazing.
Where do I sign up?
It's not very.
I think it's very productivebecause there is no distractions
around it, I think why a lot ofsuccessful dancers come from
like europe or eastern europe,or because there is really not a
lot of distractions.
What you can do or like, whatcan no video games there is
(03:45):
nothing else around in yourspectrum that you would waste
your time on.
In a way, my parents did alsohelp me a lot during that time.
I remember my dad moved tomoscow and he lived and we
rented an apartment for like amonth and a half and I was like
I'm done, so you're here on yourown, son.
So in that time I was living onmy own doing all the same
things and again it's like, ifI'm done, so, you're here on
your own son.
So in that time I was living onmy own doing all the same
things.
And again it's like, if youthink about right now, if I
(04:08):
think of my son, that my sonjust bugger off when he's 16 and
he does everything by himself,I'll be probably a little
concerned.
I'd be like whoa, okay, noteven in the same town.
I'm talking like 600 miles away.
Ilona (04:22):
There's no cell phones at
the time.
No, no pagers, absolutely.
Artem (04:26):
It's not like you can
just instantly contact someone
and get to like see themFaceTime.
I mean like no, there was noneof that things.
Ilona (04:33):
Did you choose yourself
or your mom?
Artem (04:36):
No, it was purely my
parents.
It's actually a funny story howI got into dancing.
My parents are the bigbelievers that after school you
have to find some kind of ahobby because you can't just,
you know, go outside and play.
So they decided to put me firstwhatever was popular back in
the day.
Those three things I thinkpeople did back in the day when
I was born, I was growing upPlay hockey, ballet or
(04:57):
gymnastics probably.
And I remember the first time Iwas like okay, you're going to
go play hockey, let's try thatone out.
And I went to a few practicesand then a pog flew into my face
and literally like didn't breakit, but it was pretty bloody.
And so my mom was like probablynot for you.
Ilona (05:13):
They didn't give you
masks.
Artem (05:16):
No, not really.
You know Welcome to SovietUnion.
You're just like, yeah, go play, play tough.
She's like okay, well.
Then you're just like, yeah, goplay play tough.
She's like okay, well, you can.
Then you're gonna go to balletand believe it or not, actually
they didn't take me really.
No, because they kind of look atyou as a structure of your body
.
They look at you like how tallyou're going to be, they look at
(05:38):
you in a certain like turnoutpositions and how flexible you
are and all of that.
And if you kind of don't reallyfit the criteria to the fullest
, they just don't really wantyou to waste your time, in a way
.
The next thing was ballroomdancing randomly.
Ilona (05:54):
I remember you told me a
while ago that you ended up
traveling to Europe first, andfrom Europe you ended up coming
to the United States.
Artem (06:01):
So I did live in Germany
for over three years and
traveled Europe at the time aswell, again, all because of
dancing.
Ilona (06:09):
Did you speak English
when you came here?
Artem (06:11):
No, I didn't.
Mila (06:12):
Well, you speak great
English now.
Artem (06:14):
Thank you.
I actually think I've learnedbetter English when I was living
in the UK.
Mila (06:19):
You know what I sense a
UK accent.
I studied abroad in Oxford andI sense your accent.
Artem (06:26):
It's actually weird
watching videos.
When I did Strictly ComeDancing back in UK it was I was
like whoa, who is that guy?
Because that was like a full onBrit accent, like British
accent.
Ilona (06:37):
I like Brit accent.
I think all women like Britaccent.
Artem (06:39):
It's scary.
I was like whoa.
Mila (06:42):
So let me ask you,
since're divorced and um with
everything that's happened,what's your perspective on
co-parenting?
Artem (06:49):
it's definitely doable
and obviously the both parties
you know put the best footforward, accommodate the kid.
In the end of the day, what'sbest for mateo is best for me,
right?
It's tough.
Tough sometimes because youhave to negotiate certain things
, you have to be willing tosacrifice certain things, but at
(07:11):
the same time, if you take yourown ego out of it, you really
have to think of what is bestfor him, not necessarily what
you think would be best for him.
I think that's the fine line,because we all base decision
like right now speaking ofmyself personally base decision
(07:31):
like what do I think is best forhim, by purely thinking like
how I would want it right.
But you have to kind of liketake yourself out of that and
think what is actually he needs.
Ilona (07:44):
Can you personally put
everything that happened last
year behind you and you know, befriends.
Artem (07:52):
I mean never say never,
but there's definitely needed to
be certain conversation andcertain things, acknowledgement
of certain things.
Yeah, I believe everybody canend up being friends.
Ilona (08:04):
What do you think needs
to be discussed?
Artem (08:06):
this is just speaking
from my experience hearing each
other.
I think it's the big one.
Mila (08:14):
Empathy.
Artem (08:14):
When I say hearing each
other is not just say like, oh,
I heard you, truly hearing andtrying to understand why that is
that, and actually try to feellike, oh, that's okay.
I think the hard part becausewe live in such a different
culture Everybody grown updifferent, Everybody raised
(08:35):
different.
Everybody have differentculture.
Everybody grown up different,everybody raised different,
everybody have different valuesand I think that separates us in
a lot of ways.
Ilona (08:51):
And we forgot to kind of
I don't know understand each
other, and when you disagreewith someone, it's hard to hear
and acknowledge and process whatthey're saying and feel what
they feel.
I think it really somebody hasto help you do that when it's
about subjects that are divisive.
Artem (09:03):
I based everything on the
logic and like if there is no
logic, it's very hard for me tounderstand.
Ilona (09:10):
But you seem like a very
calm, easygoing guy.
Artem (09:14):
I hope so.
Ilona (09:16):
How do you deal with
conflict when faced with
conflict, like throughout life?
Artem (09:21):
I think I'm not a
confrontational person.
Ilona (09:24):
So you're a dancer,
you're not a fighter.
Artem (09:26):
No, no, yeah, yeah, I
know where you're going with
this I get it.
Even like I was never evencompetitive, like even as a
dancer, like I loved what I,what I, what I do, and I kind of
like I want to be best, yes,but like I'm not gonna, like I
(09:48):
don't know jump out of thewindow for it, like if someone
wants it more than me, like I'mI'm not going to be trying to
prove otherwise.
Ilona (09:56):
What would you like to
see happen in your life in the
next 12 to 18 months?
Artem (10:01):
I just want to be happy.
Ilona (10:03):
Yeah, are you happy now?
Artem (10:06):
I'm happy that I have my
son, I'm happy that my mom is
here, I'm happy that I'd be ableto see that relationship, able
to see that relationship.
You know, um, I'm happy that I,you know, I'm still okay, you
know, I'm happy about that.
But am I happy overall?
And like looking forward, likeno, because it's just a whole
(10:29):
bunch of unknown and unknown isnot make you happy it sounds
like you're still healing.
Mila (10:35):
Oh no, I mean for sure,
yeah, I'm no.
Artem (10:35):
This, there's no
questions, sounds like you're
still healing.
Oh no, I mean for sure, yeah,I'm not.
There's no questions.
That like I'm still practicingeverything that's going on.
How?
Mila (10:42):
did all of that public
scrutiny affect your life?
I know you said that your wholelife changed.
Your job changed.
Artem (10:49):
Everything changed.
I think just even going to youknow like pick up Mateo from
school, you get to.
You know like pick up Mateofrom school, you get looks.
You know like when peopledidn't say hi when I pick up
Mateo, like people who I have aconversations with, you know,
people who I talk to, people whoI thought that you know, I
(11:12):
don't know, that I've never Iwill experience that, like not
saying hi, just like give thesedirty looks and I'm like okay,
like that is bizarre.
Mila (11:21):
And that's traumatic.
That's traumatic for you.
Artem (11:24):
One of my coaches in
dancing said this one thing
whatever goes in your ear doesnot necessarily fly out that
easily.
You know, whatever someonetells you something, we have an
ability to like process, but towhat way process is affecting
you?
Ilona (11:42):
But remember, you have
your own aura and you either let
people get to you or you knowwhat you are, you know what you
believe in, you know your truthand you, just you know, push it
back out.
Artem (11:52):
Do you really ever know
your truth?
Mila (11:54):
I think your truth
changes.
I think we change and developand grow as people, and I call
it different eras.
Artem (12:02):
Yeah.
Mila (12:02):
You have different eras
of your life and there are
positives and negatives to each,and there are good days and bad
days to each, and there arelessons to each and you never
know what's coming.
Artem (12:15):
I mean I've learned that
firsthand.
I think your truth is who yousurround yourself with.
You never know what's coming.
I mean I've learned thatfirsthand.
I think your truth is who yousurround yourself with.
Ilona (12:21):
And who do you surround
yourself with?
Do you have close friends?
Artem (12:24):
I do have one who I
consider like my best friend,
and obviously my mom, my son,like that's my surrounding, who
actually helped me to go through.
Ilona (12:37):
I mean strangers don't
know what really happened.
Mila (12:39):
You know the truth and
when people that you know for a
long time turn away from youbecause they made up their mind
about what they choose tobelieve, yeah, I think people
who knows me, they're stillthere whenever there are these
types of situations and they getsettled out rather than go
through the litigation processand have a judgment, you know a
(13:00):
lot of the truths are behind theshadows and no one knows what
actually happened.
They only see what they see onthe tabloids.
Artem (13:07):
You read sometimes an
article and the headline of that
article has nothing to do withthe article.
I think we live in that timewhere we don't read the articles
, we read the headlines.
And I think biggest thing in mycase, because I was arrested,
then I'm immediately guilty.
Mila (13:27):
What would you want the
world to know?
Artem (13:31):
Be patient.
You know, don't jump toconclusions right away.
If I would never been onDancing with the Stars and if
that would happen to me, my namenobody would care for.
In that case, there would neverbe a mugshot in the magazines,
there would never be a newsheadline that I've been arrested
(13:52):
, and it makes it easier toexist.
Ilona (13:57):
So there are burdens of
being a celebrity.
Artem (14:00):
I don't ever consider
myself a celebrity and, to be
fair, like I think, this wholething is completely blown out of
proportion.
Period.
Ilona (14:06):
Being a public figure
let's say you know, I think,
carries its burdens, includingwhat's being said on social
media, what you have to monitorand have an extra job of.
What do you respond to?
What do you let go and notaddress?
If something is on the internetabout you, you have to think do
I hire a publicist?
Do I respond to this or do Ilet it go?
(14:26):
Is this going to stain myfuture opportunities and prevent
me from making my dreams cometrue?
And on that point you saidyou're having a hard time
figuring out what to do in thenext 12 to 18 months or plan for
yourself.
And on that point you saidyou're having a hard time
figuring out what to do in thenext 12 to 18 months or plan for
yourself.
And what I was going to sayearlier and share my experience
from when I was like 30 yearsold.
A while ago I went wine tastinghere in Napa and I came into
(14:49):
this shop and there was a bookthat I bought.
That's the best book ever, thathas changed my life, and I'm
going to send you a copy.
But I didn't write it, I'm justendorsing it because I think it
will really help you and maybeanybody else who doesn't really
think or know where to start.
It's called when Will you Be inFive Years.
It's a very short book withexercises that are fun.
(15:11):
We human beings, we're wired acertain way.
Right now, you're wired tohaving a mindset of.
Artem (15:17):
Of survival yes, at the
moment.
Ilona (15:19):
And you have an identity
that you're still kind of
married to.
Artem (15:23):
Who you will, you know
the family you have, and I think
that's the biggest problem with, I find myself, is that I so
identify myself with justspecific thing that anything
outside of that identity it justbecomes like, I mean, besides
scary, I think it also becomeslike not doable.
(15:47):
Everything is doable.
I know what it took me toidentify myself with that.
It took me my whole life as abeing that identify myself as as
a dancer, because that's all Idid my whole life.
Every single day of my life, Idanced.
Mila (16:02):
As an employment attorney
, yeah, so I take a lot of cases
.
You know people who have beenemployed in a certain field and
sometimes trauma happens andthey can no longer work in that
field after 18 years 20 years,oh, I 100% been there.
It affects every aspect of yourlife.
I mean, people become suicidal.
(16:23):
They lose their purpose becausethey do.
But I promise you everyone canget past that.
But it is a journey.
It is a journey.
Artem (16:35):
And that's where I think
I'm at.
Mila (16:35):
It is a journey, it is a
journey, and that's what I think
about math, and you have toaccept that that is who you are
and that will always be a partof you.
But that is not all of you, andyour identity is more than what
you do, more than what you'repassionate about and, frankly,
you can become passionate inother things.
Ilona (16:54):
He's talented, he is good
at it, he loves it.
In other things, he's talented,he is good at it, he loves it.
I feel that you've lost someopportunities after you know the
mugshot.
That didn't really representwhat in fact happened.
Artem (17:05):
I was hoping I'm going to
get a mugshot, like what's his
name, Frank Sinatra but that wasnot the case.
Mila (17:10):
I need to see this
mugshot, I mean I'm going to
make it really.
Artem (17:22):
I mean it's kind of funny
.
But I was like this close toput on my instagram mugshot and
it's probably gonna be verysarcastic to a lot of people,
but I was like god, this thingmade me more famous and more
talked about than winningdancing with the stars being
nominated for an emmy.
Uh, like that's what made memore famous, that's what made
people talk about my.
It's just sad, because peoplejust want to see you fail and
want to believe in things likebad things more than actually if
(17:43):
you succeed at something.
It's just so sad.
They wrote about me like I'm amonster, and when the case was
dismissed, they didn't run andsay like, oh, we did this, but
now it's this, so this is whatit is.
No, because no one cares aboutthat, the case was dropped.
Ilona (18:03):
But as to what happened?
You've lost opportunities.
People canceled contracts onyou that you had pending and
deleted you off their websitesjust because of that mugshot,
before anyone knew who was atfault.
Artem (18:18):
I can't be mad at that,
like again taking myself out of
that equation, right, and if Ilet's say I would be in that
position, I would have probablydone the same thing.
Everything nowadays is aboutbranding.
Ilona (18:29):
But look, there's divorce
, there's straining water, stuff
.
The rest it's all history.
It's all done.
All of that is gone, done.
You are a talented, passionatedancer.
I want to see you back on TV onDancing with the Stars.
I would love to watch.
Mila (18:44):
I would love to watch you
on TV too.
I would love to watch youcontinuing to follow your
passion, and it sounds likedancing is your number one
passion.
Ilona (18:54):
What was your favorite
genre of dancing?
Artem (18:58):
I think my favorite was
going to be what I do ballroom
and Latin.
You know, and again, when Italk about ballroom and Latin,
just want to kind of explainbecause some audience might have
not really be aware of it Latingenre has a Latin dances and
the ballroom genre has aballroom dancer.
So there's a standard andthere's a Latin Standard is more
like a foxtrot, tango walls,venus walls, quick step and when
(19:20):
you go into the latin, that'swhere the oldest you know sambas
and chachas and all the otherstyles of dance what's the
hardest genre of dancing thatyou faced while you were on the
show I don't think it's hardest,I think it's the one that looks
crazy on you, you know, becausesometimes we believe like, oh,
this is easy and you do it, andyou look like a fool and you're
(19:41):
like, oh, that definitely didnot look good.
Ilona (19:43):
It's just so unfair that
over this, everything will be
over, Like it's not over.
Mila (19:49):
I'm manifesting that
you're going to continue Always.
Ilona (19:51):
Ultimately, no matter
what happens, we're fortunate to
be in this country.
We, no matter what happens,we're fortunate to be in this
country.
We're fortunate to have our youknow hands, eyes, vision,
hearing, everything right.
You can move and shake it, youcan do construction.
It's a blessing.
You can do anything you want.
Artem (20:07):
And I think some people
find a lot of people's
interviews kind of like oh, it'spathetic.
Like you have your health, youhave this, it's again.
It depends what you'recomparing to.
I mean, I can compare myself tobe in an extremely great
situation right now.
You know, I live in the country.
There's a peace, I have a job,I get paid, I see my son, my mom
(20:29):
is here, I can go to grocerystore, buy food.
You know like there's so manythings to be grateful for and,
of course, but in everyday life,when that has become a pure
normal, you're taking it forgranted.
Ilona (20:44):
That's true.
Artem (20:45):
And then you only focus
on things that are missing.
And that's where you easily cutup in is in the negativity of
what's missing, what could havebeen better or what can be
better.
And again, for me personally,it's not even so much like I
don't say I don't care aboutmyself, I can figure it out, how
to be, whatever.
I mean, I've been living on myown for a very long time and
like I'm okay to survive, like Ican survive, I'm okay, but my
(21:12):
son's getting deprived ofcertain things and he will never
have that, and that is what mystruggle is.
Ilona (21:18):
You have the power to
remember when the negative
thoughts enter your head, tointervene, stop it and change
the channel to something else.
Artem (21:27):
I wish it worked that
easy.
Ilona (21:30):
It requires practice and
catching yourself.
I wish.
Artem (21:32):
I was a bit more of a
dreamer.
I wish I'd be more of like, hey, it's going to be great, it's
going to be awesome.
I wish I was a bit more of adreamer.
I wish I'd be more of like,yeah, it's going to be great,
it's going to be awesome.
I wish I was that guy.
I've never was, Even growing upas a kid.
I've never was and I'm morelike just this is what's in
front of me.
I'm like okay, let's make themost of what's in front of me.
You know and my suck, but atleast I can manage this to the
(21:56):
best possible ability.
What's here?
Mila (21:58):
I think that's a great
quality you know yeah so one
step at a time yeah, every dayhopefully open up something else
a lot of times when people gothrough divorce, I think, from
from what I've heard, a lot ofpeople say that they lived in
conflict or had situations whereyou know they had hostile
environments at home and youknow I don't know about your
(22:21):
personal life and if that'ssomething you went through, but
does your life now feel more atpeace than when you were married
and or living in conflict andor living?
Artem (22:32):
in conflict.
I think when you live in arelationship you kind of get
used to certain things and youdon't see things sometimes for
what they are.
Or there are certain problemsyou don't necessarily see as a
problem, like you just go alongright, that it just becomes a
rollercoaster of the same thingsand you just you know, we're
all humans.
Mila (22:52):
I think all we can do is
the best we can do.
Artem (22:55):
Always.
Mila (22:55):
And I think the choices
we make at any given time is the
best we can do, based on, youknow, the journeys we've lived
and the experiences we've had.
So I always feel like a lot ofpeople say, oh, what could I
have done differently?
I don't think we could havedone anything differently in
those moments.
Artem (23:14):
I don't think I would
change anything that I've done,
so it's not that.
Mila (23:17):
No regrets.
Artem (23:18):
No.
Mila (23:19):
And you have the journey
forward to look forward to and
choices you can make now thatwill make an impact for your
future?
Artem (23:26):
Yeah, I think so.
Mila (23:27):
I have no doubt that
anything you want to tackle, you
will tackle, and anything youlove to do and are passionate
about, you will be great at, andI personally can't wait to see
what's next for you.
Artem (23:39):
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for having me, and Ithink you're an amazing father,
all the pictures, everythingI've heard and said.
Ilona (23:45):
there was nothing but
immense love.
And nothing is more importantto you other than being a great
dad from day one, and you arethat, and you've sacrificed.
I other and being a great dadfrom day one, and you are that,
and you've sacrificed.
I mean you make sacrificesevery day, go to work, do your
construction, you get off, youpick them up, you cook for him,
you do everything for him.
I bet you don't have time foryour personal life or yourself
(24:06):
right now because you also haveto exist.
Artem (24:07):
Yes, and my mom's living
with me.
So, boy, start over that.
You know what I?
I don't know, I just made thisagreement with myself.
That is like my focus is my kid, playing with him every single
day and just have this likesilly giggles that he does or
whatever makes him happy.
Like that's what makes me happy, you know.
(24:28):
Like that's what actually likemakes me go.
Like okay, this, this is a goodday it's a blessing it's those
simple things.
I don't think I can thinkpositive anything else even
remotely at this moment of mylife where I'm at Like, my focus
is my kid.
Ilona (24:43):
This is so natural to go
through this, because when you
love someone, it falls apart andit's not the way you ever
envisioned this was gonna end.
It's gonna take time to kind ofdeal with it and heal, and I
think you're very fortunate tohave your mom, to have your son,
to have him half the time andalso you have a couple of close
(25:03):
friends.
That's all that matters.
When we grow up, we have ourresponsibilities, duties.
There's no time to chat withpeople.
Artem (25:08):
There is really no time.
And you have us now.
There is no time.
Mila (25:12):
Hey, that's true, that's
it.
You, there is no time.
Artem (25:15):
We're friends forever.
That's it, you're stuck with meforever, yeah, yeah.
Ilona (25:22):
It's funny enough, but
it's true.
And that's a wrap on ourinterview with Artyom and this
episode of the Glamorous Grind.
Mila (25:26):
It was so great to hear
Artyom tell his story.
I am so glad him and his sonare thriving.
Ilona (25:33):
Artyom is such a nice guy
.
He's a class act and it waslovely to see him again.
Mila (25:37):
If you liked what you
heard today, we've got more
interviews coming up that youlove to dive into.
Keep up with us on social mediato see what we've got coming up
next.
And good news we are invitingnew guests on our show.
Ilona (25:49):
Do you have a
jaw-dropping story?
The world needs to hear.
Mila (25:57):
Divorce, life law or even
an employment case that you
went through DM or email us toshare your story and be a guest
on the show.
Ilona (26:01):
Stay motivated, stay
fabulous, and we'll see you next
week on the Glamorous Grind.