May 27, 2025 • 23 mins
What happens when the people who serve us—restaurant staff, hotel workers, bartenders—quietly fall into crisis?
Nick Petro, San Diego City Director of Big Table, joins The Glamorous Grind to pull back the curtain on a growing, hidden emergency in the hospitality industry. From eviction to mental health breakdowns, workers are often left to fend for themselves—until Big Table shows up.
In this episode, we explore:
- The truth about working in hospitality today
- Stories of real lives changed through compassion
- How Big Table acts as a safety net for those who serve
- Why dignity-driven care is more powerful than charity
- What we can all do to support the servers in our own communities
🎧 Plus, a powerful game of Red Flag / Green Flag and one story that will stay with you long after the episode ends.
💡 To learn more or support Big Table, visit: https://bigtable.org
🎙 Hosted by Carly Antonyan Miranda | @glamorousgrindpod
🎥 Watch full video interviews on YouTube
💌 Rate, review, and share if this episode spoke to you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What if the person who served your coffee this
morning is quietly battlingeviction, medical debt or mental
health crisis?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We start deploying some resources to help them get
from where they are to wherethey need to be.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
You help with mental health services.
This is an incredibleorganization.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
She was gainfully employed, she ended up in a
shelter.
She had 325 roommates.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Big Table is rewriting how we care for
workers crisis.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Today we're sitting down with Nick Petro, San Diego
City Director of Big Table, anorganization changing lives
behind the scenes for the peoplewho make our hospitality world
run the restaurant andhospitality industry is built on
long hours, emotional labor andlow wages, and while we tip for
good service, we often miss thedeeper needs behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We help, kind of subsidize, whether it's that
month's rent, or get them into anew place, help them with the
deposit things like that, butagain our resources only extend
up to about $1,500.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Nick, thank you for being here.
Can you tell us about Big Tableand how did you get started
with?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
that?
Yeah.
First of all, thanks for havingme.
I feel very comfortable and athome here.
Yeah, I actually started withBig Table in January, so I feel
like I'm still a little wetbehind the ears.
I have a long history ofdevelopment, raising capital,
funding for differentinitiatives and projects.
I've had the entrepreneurialbug, I've had a couple of small
(01:32):
businesses and I've also done alot of nonprofit charity work in
my previous life.
If you will, I was actuallyexploring the opportunity to
come alongside a local nonprofitthat has large community impact
and when I stumbled upon BigTable, the industry that we
support is the largest industrynationwide with the highest
(01:54):
concentration of need.
I thought who better to fitthis role than me at this point
in my life?
Saw just a tremendous amount ofopportunity.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So how long has Big Table been around and what does
it do?
We've been around for 15 years.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Consider us a third party safety net or an insurance
policy for restaurant and hotelowners.
We actually work with theiremployees that are in crisis
mode.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So how do the employees get help through your
organization?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
One of the only qualifications that have to be
met in working with Big Table isthat person has to have been
employed in the hospitalityindustry within the last three
months.
A lot of people that areworking in this industry fall
below at or below even povertylevel.
So that person will getreferred to us.
(02:48):
We meet with that individual.
So we have a care coordinatorthat would meet with the
individual and we kind of triagethe situation.
Consider us like the quarterback, usually somebody either a
patron or another coworker, thatnoticed that there's something
kind of going on in thatindividual's life, and so our
role at Big Table is to discoverthat and just have a
(03:09):
conversation with thatindividual, and then, once we
find out exactly what they need,then we start deploying some
resources to help them get fromwhere they are to where they
need to be.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
What sort of resources.
I understand you help withhousing.
You help with mental healthservices.
How does that work after thisinitial lunch where somebody
says I can't afford to pay rent,I can't even afford to share.
Have a roommate and share inpaying rent.
What do you guys do in thatsituation?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
We come alongside them and can help kind of
subsidize whether it's thatmonth's rent or get them into a
new place, help them with thedeposit, things like that.
But again, our resources onlyextend up to about $1,500.
And on a monthly basis renthere in San Diego is far
substantial.
It's a lot greater than that.
So we feel like the impact thatwe're able to make is helping
(04:01):
offset some of those housingcosts.
And then on the relational careside we meet with them and kind
of offer coaching and mentoringand kind of helping that person
know that they're not alone.
Most people in the hospitalityindustry don't know that there
are additional resources andpeople to help.
So we kind of we meet with them.
We earn the right to be heardby meeting that individual where
(04:24):
they're at in life.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
When you reached out to me as an employment attorney,
I had no idea these types oforganizations even existed.
I mean, we know there areorganizations that help victims
of violence or victims of abuse,but these aren't necessarily
victims.
But, as you and I discussed,these are some of the hardest
working people.
I mean people who work inrestaurants, hostesses, waiters,
(04:49):
dishwashers.
They work long hours, they workvery hard and oftentimes they
make a minimum wage that doesn'tcover anything.
It is important to have someamount of money allocated to
these individuals who needassistance, but what's also just
as important, if not moreimportant, is resources
providing them with tools tolearn how to build their lives
(05:12):
in better ways, because a lot oftimes, people who are minimum
wage earners are usually not aseducated as people who earn
higher wages and, as a result ofthat, they just don't know what
their rights are.
They don't know how to buildand grow and develop, and having
those resources and instillingthose resources into them is
(05:33):
equally as important as givingthem the money to get through
this month's rent.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We have no strings attached.
There aren't any sign-up fees,there's no cost, there's no
obligation to any of ourpartners.
We lead with that and we meanit.
So where do we get our fundingfrom?
Once we start meeting withtheir employees and we kind of
prove concept that we are yourinsurance spouse, we are your
(05:57):
safety net, and they starthearing from their own employees
how they've been significantlypositively impacted and how
their lives have literally beenchanged around inside of the
workplace, we're starting to seemore and more partners come and
want to contribute.
But sometimes we don't evenhave those relationships with
those owners because thatindividual got referred by a
(06:19):
patron that carry sipping, gotreferred by another staff or a
friend at another restaurant ora quick service restaurant.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Oh, so anyone from anywhere?
If you're just visiting arestaurant, you're talking to a
bartender and they're goingthrough a problem, you can just
refer them to you and you'llhelp them.
That's exactly right.
Their employer doesn't have tobe signed up on any plan with
you.
Is that how it is?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
That's exactly right.
I used to represent employersand then I used to represent
employees.
They want to pay the minimumwages, like those restaurants,
don't want to pay more, so theywant to retain these individuals
who are making a minimum wage.
The thing is, generallyspeaking, from an employment law
context happy employees areproductive employees.
You know, when you haveemployees who are homeless or
(07:07):
living in shelters, theygenerally tend to be unhappy,
less productive, less of a valueto the company.
So I think, generally speaking,having an organization like
that that can assist them willhelp retain them, keep the
employers happy because they cancontinue paying their minimum
wages to these folks, and keepthem happy because they feel
(07:29):
like they're being helped bytheir employer.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
We see it from all perspectives.
We work with not only theowners, we work with the
employees, and we also work withcorporate sponsors, individual
philanthropists, people that arewriting grants that support us
as well.
But when it comes to theemployers in particular, we
protect them against frivolouslawsuits.
There's a lot of owners thatget caught in trying to help
(07:56):
their employees by giving themloans right, Like if their car
breaks down, they just need aquick $2,500 for a rental car
for a month while their othercar is getting fixed or what
have you so?
they'll extend a loan and nowthey'll take another paycheck.
That's pretty common in theindustry.
Now if I own a restaurant and Idid that to employee A and
(08:16):
employee B found out about itand I didn't extend the same
courtesy to employee B lawsuit,They'll call MULA.
So we become that neutral party.
We have no predisposition, wehave no judgment for anybody
that we help in the industryacross the board.
We really, again, we do thosetwo things.
We meet the person wherethey're at.
We earn that right to be heardand so we're building trust and
(08:39):
bond and we're trying to keepthat person employed.
Not only that, but we're tryingto keep that person gainfully
employed and happy.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
What if you meet with someone for lunch but you think
they're BSing you Like they'rejust making it up to squeeze
$1,500 out of you?
Have you come across thosesituations?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
First of all, we don't fork over $1,500 out of
the gate.
So again it's kind of over theterm of a relationship so we're
able to.
Our care coordinators are greatand they can kind of call BS on
people and that's.
I have a 20 year coachingbackground as well.
I had a youth and young adultlife coaching company that I
started in 2005 and that I stillhave today, and so bringing
(09:18):
those philosophy and a lot ofthe coaching dynamic provide a
roadmap for that person to getfrom where they're at to where
they want to be, and so the samecoaching philosophy applies in
the big table so providingresources, listening to the
story what are they dealing with?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
and trying to find someone that can help and reach
out to experts that know whatthey're doing that can target
their specific problem above andbeyond our capabilities.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
There are a lot of organizations and services that
provide services forunderprivileged communities and
you know, you look at peopleagain who have been victims of
domestic violence, people whoare poor, people who you know
don't have jobs.
But it's rare thatorganizations look at people who
are gainfully employed andworking and think these people
(10:05):
may need help.
And you know, as an employmentattorney, I can say with full
certainty that a lot of them doneed help and, again, part of it
is just lack of knowledge, lackof education as to what their
rights are, how to build, how togrow, how to develop, how to
ask for a raise, how to apply toa position that's higher above
(10:28):
the position that you have.
They may be eligible, they maybe in a position for 30 years
and not apply for anotherposition, not because they don't
want to.
They don't know how, they don'tknow that they can.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
In San Diego we really concentrate and we see it
everywhere the homelessness andall the different nonprofits
and initiatives and the grantsand the funding, and no matter
what side you're on with it,it's there and it's in front of
us and it doesn't seem to getany better.
But if we can prevent that fora fraction of what it costs,
once that person is homeless, weliterally catch people before
(11:04):
they fall, when we move themfrom crisis into relational kind
of care and that mentoring andcoaching.
In my opinion that's where theaha happens.
That's where the beautiful, themagic happens.
But somebody has to be willingto let their guard down.
We meet with a lot of peoplethat have addiction.
That's one of the addiction isone of the highest in any
(11:24):
industry.
It's in the hospitalityindustry.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Now it's time for the game segment of our podcast.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I love games.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Okay, so you have two glamorous flags.
You see, they have sparkles onthem.
Oh, cute.
And we are going to play redflag, green flag.
So Alona and I are going tocall out situations and you can
kind of ascertain whether or notthose people may need some
assistance, may need to callyour organization.
So the first one is someone isalways the funny one, making
(11:56):
everyone laugh but never openingup about their own business.
Red flag or green flag.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Ooh, I feel like that's a both flag.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Can I do both?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, you can do both .
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Why?
Because I think if you're funnyand you're trying to bring
light to the environment, Ithink that's healthy, especially
in an environment that can besuper stressful.
Often there are people againthey're working super hard.
They're not getting necessarilyrewarded financially what they
may feel like they deserve Redflag if their person is
(12:31):
constantly joking around, neveropening up and there might be
some hurt, pain, angst, kind ofwhat we mentioned before.
If they're not that personthat's ever asked for help
before and they're always tryingto figure it out themselves.
Person that's ever asked forhelp before and they're always
trying to figure it outthemselves.
Constantly cutting jokes may bea way they're kind of skirting
(12:52):
around something that might begoing on a little bit deeper.
So the red flag could becautionary.
We see that a lot with peoplethat are struggling a lot deeper
than just kind of surface level.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Red flag or green flag, they're constantly picking
up someone else's shift,although they already work full
time.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Bam.
So there's still something.
Whether it's their hourly,their current position, I don't
think anything will ever beenough.
It sounds like that personprobably can't work enough to
make what they need to make orwhat they aspire to make.
So I think it's just a band-aidafter a band-aid after a
(13:30):
band-aid.
Eventually that band-aid isgoing to get torn off.
I don't think continuallyworking so hard in that same
position, um, it's just gonnaend up burnout red flag or green
flag.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
The owner of the restaurant takes their tips hey,
knock it off.
That happened to me doing itnot gonna shame on you yeah I
was getting paid five bucks anhour and it was a vietnamese
restaurant.
When I was 15 and I didn't know, because it was my first job
(14:04):
and every day she would takehalf of my tips.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You're telling me this story and I see so much
wage and hour violations, not tomention child labor violations
at 15 years old.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
My statute of limitations has run.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I mean it's hard.
I think it's underappreciatedthat, like the hospitality
industry, is hard.
These people are on their feetmost of the time, if not all of
the time, and they're workingreally hard shifts.
I remember when I was studyingat USD Law School and I was in
law school, I was in the libraryearly in the morning.
I was there by six and I wasalways there late and I remember
(14:41):
every time I didn't feel likestudying.
I saw this old janitor she wasprobably like 75 years old and
she was this older, biggerHispanic lady and I remember
looking at her and I was like,if she can work these long hours
on her feet, I should sure ashell not be complaining about
sitting in this comfortablelibrary chair reading a law book
.
And it was like my motivation.
(15:02):
Every day I saw her and I wouldsmile at her and she was my
motivation to like keep studyingmy books and count my blessings
of how privileged I am that Ican sit there and read about
constitutional law and take atest, as opposed to cleaning
toilets when I'm 75 years old.
So you know, perspective is iseverything.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
It sure is, and the fact that you saw that from that
lens is pretty incredible.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So what's the most memorable story of most impact
on an individual in San DiegoCounty through your Big Table
efforts?
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Her name's Tiffany.
Tiffany had met with our carecoordinator, glo, who's been
with us almost four years andshe'd helped met with this
individual multiple times.
She was gainfully employed butshe, for whatever reason, she
ended up in a shelter and, likeshe likes to say, she had 325
(16:11):
roommates.
Now imagine living in a shelterand you think it's maybe there
for you're there for a weekend,maybe a week or a month.
You fast forward a year, a yearand a half.
She's still working.
She's living in a shelter.
Tiffany still was a resilientindividual.
She still met with Glo in thatrelational care.
(16:35):
Glo became her only trustedperson that she can lean on,
that she can text, that she cancry with, that she can share
just the deepest things that aregoing on and her struggles.
Cry with that you can share,just heard the deepest things
that are going on and herstruggles.
And although and us as BigTable couldn't meet all of her
financial needs, we were able tomeet with her in that
relational care and kind ofcoaching and being that solid
(16:56):
person for her.
She finally found and gotaccepted into an apartment
complex.
It was actually a new build andit was the last one for
low-income housing in thiscomplex, the last one, and it
came down to the wire.
She ended getting approved.
(17:16):
Glow was there with her andwhen I met her, she came in the
office to share her testimony.
We're going over custom talkingpoints for her for this event.
Um, she was almost in tearsthat she was so proud that she
can write a check for rent, whenmost of us like, oh, we don't
(17:37):
want, uh, we hate, like ourmortgage comes out right, or our
rent, and we don't look forwardto those, those monthly dues,
so to speak, to live.
Well, she was giddy, she waslaughing, she's basically doing
a backflip that she was affordedthis luxury now to write a
(17:58):
check, to have her own space.
And so now some of her friendsand coworkers like, hey, you'd
come out with us afterwards andwe're going to set.
Like, no, I'm going home, home,I have my house and my home
it's it's my, it's my space.
I don't have 325 roommatesanymore it was just a beautiful
thing perspective is everythingand it's every story is very,
(18:25):
very, very unique.
My personal care recipientnamed Sergio.
He works in San Diego Countyand he is on.
He was referred to us and thisis the only care recipient that
I am working with, currently 65years old, been married,
(18:47):
beautiful wife, beautifulmarriage, and here he is trying
to retire, you know, in the nextfew years, and he has children
who now have children, andsomething happened with one of
his children and now, forunforeseen reasons, he can't
(19:07):
provide for the three childrenunder the age of 15 now.
So grandma and grandpa step in.
They're in a two bedroom, onebath where it was just the two
of them.
Now he has to care for a 10, 11and a 12 or 13 year old Three
kids living under that roof now,and he's still making the same
(19:30):
wage that he was making for thelast four years, gainfully
employed, just one employee ofthe month at a really big
facility, and his boss referredhim to us.
I gave him a call, I verifiedthat the information was true,
right from his boss, and then Iwent and met with this
individual that he was reallybrought to tears in our first
(19:56):
meeting why'd you make him cry?
I love to make men cry.
He was floored that somebodywould take the time to care for
him when he's always caring foreverybody else.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Because it's hard for him to be vulnerable, because
everybody relies on him.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
He's never, not once in his life, asked for help.
He's a proud immigrant thatcame here, hardworking man,
raised his family to the best ofhis ability, and unforeseen
circumstances happened with hisown children, and so now he is
legally adopting his threegrandchildren.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So how does someone become a partner with you and
help you?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
They can visit our website, bigtableorg, and
there's a donate button.
We are a 501c3.
We have two fundraising eventsa year.
The one is a smaller, for only54 people events a year.
The one is a smaller, for only54 people.
It's set for a specific reason.
And then our big fundraisingevent is September 18th.
(20:53):
That we're going to do on theHornblower.
So we want that to be a bigparty.
We want to sell out all the 500tickets for that and we're
hoping that we get new people,new partners, new people that
want to come alongside us againas a monthly supporter.
That would be the biggest help.
If anybody listening wants tobecome a monthly supporter at $5
(21:14):
, $25, $50 a month, that goesthe furthest.
And then, in addition to that,if people want to contribute
raffle prizes, hotel stays, youknow things like that, then
those are all icing on the cake.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
So there was a recent New York Times article that
talks about the burnoutpost-COVID and the hospitality
business because they don't getenough support, not enough
income.
What happens to those who stay?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
People that we work with were significantly impacted
by COVID but they're back atwork because they want to work.
And owners got really impactednegatively by and large in the
industry because their staffwere cut significantly.
A lot of people then didn'tcome back to work.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I will touch on just two things.
During COVID.
What happened?
I mean, I think two thingsgreatly impacted.
During COVID, I was working forJackson Lewis, which was a
defense company, and werepresented employers.
And employers were scatteringto try and keep up with all of
the state and federalregulations that they were
(22:20):
required to upkeep for COVIDtimes.
And employers were getting hitwith all these lawsuits of
employees like oh, I'm requiredto stand in line get my fever
checked and I'm not paid forthose five minutes.
But add that up times 20employees, that's a lot of money
right For like a period of time.
So employers, because they weredealing with all of these
(22:40):
oversight issues, they caught aton of people because it just
didn't make sense financiallyfor them to keep those people.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
This is an incredibleorganization.
We look forward to working withyou, collaborating with you and
getting the word out so morepeople know about the services
you provide, can benefit fromthose services and more
(23:01):
organizations can help sponsoryour organization.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
It's been a lovely time, Really appreciate you
opening your doors and yourstudio for me to come in and
share what Big Table has beendoing.
Again, I feel like we are just.
We laid the foundation andwe're just scratching the
surface on what's possible andgreat partners like yourselves
and all the partners thathopefully are out there.
We're eager to work with youand yeah the more partners we
(23:29):
have, the more people we canpossibly encounter.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
If this episode moved you check out BigTableorg and
consider becoming a care sponsoror nominator.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
It's not about changing the whole system
overnight.
It's about showing up for oneperson, one crisis, one big
table at a time.
What if the person who served your coffee this
morning is quietly battlingeviction, medical debt or mental
health crisis?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We start deploying some resources to help them get
from where they are to wherethey need to be.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
You help with mental health services.
This is an incredibleorganization.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
She was gainfully employed, she ended up in a
shelter.
She had 325 roommates.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Big Table is rewriting how we care for
workers crisis.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Today we're sitting down with Nick Petro, San Diego
City Director of Big Table, anorganization changing lives
behind the scenes for the peoplewho make our hospitality world
run the restaurant andhospitality industry is built on
long hours, emotional labor andlow wages, and while we tip for
good service, we often miss thedeeper needs behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We help, kind of subsidize, whether it's that
month's rent, or get them into anew place, help them with the
deposit things like that, butagain our resources only extend
up to about $1,500.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Nick, thank you for being here.
Can you tell us about Big Tableand how did you get started
with?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
that?
Yeah.
First of all, thanks for havingme.
I feel very comfortable and athome here.
Yeah, I actually started withBig Table in January, so I feel
like I'm still a little wetbehind the ears.
I have a long history ofdevelopment, raising capital,
funding for differentinitiatives and projects.
I've had the entrepreneurialbug, I've had a couple of small
(01:32):
businesses and I've also done alot of nonprofit charity work in
my previous life.
If you will, I was actuallyexploring the opportunity to
come alongside a local nonprofitthat has large community impact
and when I stumbled upon BigTable, the industry that we
support is the largest industrynationwide with the highest
(01:54):
concentration of need.
I thought who better to fitthis role than me at this point
in my life?
Saw just a tremendous amount ofopportunity.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
So how long has Big Table been around and what does
it do?
We've been around for 15 years.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Consider us a third party safety net or an insurance
policy for restaurant and hotelowners.
We actually work with theiremployees that are in crisis
mode.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So how do the employees get help through your
organization?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
One of the only qualifications that have to be
met in working with Big Table isthat person has to have been
employed in the hospitalityindustry within the last three
months.
A lot of people that areworking in this industry fall
below at or below even povertylevel.
So that person will getreferred to us.
(02:48):
We meet with that individual.
So we have a care coordinatorthat would meet with the
individual and we kind of triagethe situation.
Consider us like the quarterback, usually somebody either a
patron or another coworker, thatnoticed that there's something
kind of going on in thatindividual's life, and so our
role at Big Table is to discoverthat and just have a
(03:09):
conversation with thatindividual, and then, once we
find out exactly what they need,then we start deploying some
resources to help them get fromwhere they are to where they
need to be.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
What sort of resources.
I understand you help withhousing.
You help with mental healthservices.
How does that work after thisinitial lunch where somebody
says I can't afford to pay rent,I can't even afford to share.
Have a roommate and share inpaying rent.
What do you guys do in thatsituation?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
We come alongside them and can help kind of
subsidize whether it's thatmonth's rent or get them into a
new place, help them with thedeposit, things like that.
But again, our resources onlyextend up to about $1,500.
And on a monthly basis renthere in San Diego is far
substantial.
It's a lot greater than that.
So we feel like the impact thatwe're able to make is helping
(04:01):
offset some of those housingcosts.
And then on the relational careside we meet with them and kind
of offer coaching and mentoringand kind of helping that person
know that they're not alone.
Most people in the hospitalityindustry don't know that there
are additional resources andpeople to help.
So we kind of we meet with them.
We earn the right to be heardby meeting that individual where
(04:24):
they're at in life.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
When you reached out to me as an employment attorney,
I had no idea these types oforganizations even existed.
I mean, we know there areorganizations that help victims
of violence or victims of abuse,but these aren't necessarily
victims.
But, as you and I discussed,these are some of the hardest
working people.
I mean people who work inrestaurants, hostesses, waiters,
(04:49):
dishwashers.
They work long hours, they workvery hard and oftentimes they
make a minimum wage that doesn'tcover anything.
It is important to have someamount of money allocated to
these individuals who needassistance, but what's also just
as important, if not moreimportant, is resources
providing them with tools tolearn how to build their lives
(05:12):
in better ways, because a lot oftimes, people who are minimum
wage earners are usually not aseducated as people who earn
higher wages and, as a result ofthat, they just don't know what
their rights are.
They don't know how to buildand grow and develop, and having
those resources and instillingthose resources into them is
(05:33):
equally as important as givingthem the money to get through
this month's rent.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
We have no strings attached.
There aren't any sign-up fees,there's no cost, there's no
obligation to any of ourpartners.
We lead with that and we meanit.
So where do we get our fundingfrom?
Once we start meeting withtheir employees and we kind of
prove concept that we are yourinsurance spouse, we are your
(05:57):
safety net, and they starthearing from their own employees
how they've been significantlypositively impacted and how
their lives have literally beenchanged around inside of the
workplace, we're starting to seemore and more partners come and
want to contribute.
But sometimes we don't evenhave those relationships with
those owners because thatindividual got referred by a
(06:19):
patron that carry sipping, gotreferred by another staff or a
friend at another restaurant ora quick service restaurant.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Oh, so anyone from anywhere?
If you're just visiting arestaurant, you're talking to a
bartender and they're goingthrough a problem, you can just
refer them to you and you'llhelp them.
That's exactly right.
Their employer doesn't have tobe signed up on any plan with
you.
Is that how it is?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
That's exactly right.
I used to represent employersand then I used to represent
employees.
They want to pay the minimumwages, like those restaurants,
don't want to pay more, so theywant to retain these individuals
who are making a minimum wage.
The thing is, generallyspeaking, from an employment law
context happy employees areproductive employees.
You know, when you haveemployees who are homeless or
(07:07):
living in shelters, theygenerally tend to be unhappy,
less productive, less of a valueto the company.
So I think, generally speaking,having an organization like
that that can assist them willhelp retain them, keep the
employers happy because they cancontinue paying their minimum
wages to these folks, and keepthem happy because they feel
(07:29):
like they're being helped bytheir employer.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
We see it from all perspectives.
We work with not only theowners, we work with the
employees, and we also work withcorporate sponsors, individual
philanthropists, people that arewriting grants that support us
as well.
But when it comes to theemployers in particular, we
protect them against frivolouslawsuits.
There's a lot of owners thatget caught in trying to help
(07:56):
their employees by giving themloans right, Like if their car
breaks down, they just need aquick $2,500 for a rental car
for a month while their othercar is getting fixed or what
have you so?
they'll extend a loan and nowthey'll take another paycheck.
That's pretty common in theindustry.
Now if I own a restaurant and Idid that to employee A and
(08:16):
employee B found out about itand I didn't extend the same
courtesy to employee B lawsuit,They'll call MULA.
So we become that neutral party.
We have no predisposition, wehave no judgment for anybody
that we help in the industryacross the board.
We really, again, we do thosetwo things.
We meet the person wherethey're at.
We earn that right to be heardand so we're building trust and
(08:39):
bond and we're trying to keepthat person employed.
Not only that, but we're tryingto keep that person gainfully
employed and happy.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
What if you meet with someone for lunch but you think
they're BSing you Like they'rejust making it up to squeeze
$1,500 out of you?
Have you come across thosesituations?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
First of all, we don't fork over $1,500 out of
the gate.
So again it's kind of over theterm of a relationship so we're
able to.
Our care coordinators are greatand they can kind of call BS on
people and that's.
I have a 20 year coachingbackground as well.
I had a youth and young adultlife coaching company that I
started in 2005 and that I stillhave today, and so bringing
(09:18):
those philosophy and a lot ofthe coaching dynamic provide a
roadmap for that person to getfrom where they're at to where
they want to be, and so the samecoaching philosophy applies in
the big table so providingresources, listening to the
story what are they dealing with?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
and trying to find someone that can help and reach
out to experts that know whatthey're doing that can target
their specific problem above andbeyond our capabilities.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
There are a lot of organizations and services that
provide services forunderprivileged communities and
you know, you look at peopleagain who have been victims of
domestic violence, people whoare poor, people who you know
don't have jobs.
But it's rare thatorganizations look at people who
are gainfully employed andworking and think these people
(10:05):
may need help.
And you know, as an employmentattorney, I can say with full
certainty that a lot of them doneed help and, again, part of it
is just lack of knowledge, lackof education as to what their
rights are, how to build, how togrow, how to develop, how to
ask for a raise, how to apply toa position that's higher above
(10:28):
the position that you have.
They may be eligible, they maybe in a position for 30 years
and not apply for anotherposition, not because they don't
want to.
They don't know how, they don'tknow that they can.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
In San Diego we really concentrate and we see it
everywhere the homelessness andall the different nonprofits
and initiatives and the grantsand the funding, and no matter
what side you're on with it,it's there and it's in front of
us and it doesn't seem to getany better.
But if we can prevent that fora fraction of what it costs,
once that person is homeless, weliterally catch people before
(11:04):
they fall, when we move themfrom crisis into relational kind
of care and that mentoring andcoaching.
In my opinion that's where theaha happens.
That's where the beautiful, themagic happens.
But somebody has to be willingto let their guard down.
We meet with a lot of peoplethat have addiction.
That's one of the addiction isone of the highest in any
(11:24):
industry.
It's in the hospitalityindustry.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Now it's time for the game segment of our podcast.
Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I love games.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Okay, so you have two glamorous flags.
You see, they have sparkles onthem.
Oh, cute.
And we are going to play redflag, green flag.
So Alona and I are going tocall out situations and you can
kind of ascertain whether or notthose people may need some
assistance, may need to callyour organization.
So the first one is someone isalways the funny one, making
(11:56):
everyone laugh but never openingup about their own business.
Red flag or green flag.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Ooh, I feel like that's a both flag.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Can I do both?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, you can do both .
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Why?
Because I think if you're funnyand you're trying to bring
light to the environment, Ithink that's healthy, especially
in an environment that can besuper stressful.
Often there are people againthey're working super hard.
They're not getting necessarilyrewarded financially what they
may feel like they deserve Redflag if their person is
(12:31):
constantly joking around, neveropening up and there might be
some hurt, pain, angst, kind ofwhat we mentioned before.
If they're not that personthat's ever asked for help
before and they're always tryingto figure it out themselves.
Person that's ever asked forhelp before and they're always
trying to figure it outthemselves.
Constantly cutting jokes may bea way they're kind of skirting
(12:52):
around something that might begoing on a little bit deeper.
So the red flag could becautionary.
We see that a lot with peoplethat are struggling a lot deeper
than just kind of surface level.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Red flag or green flag, they're constantly picking
up someone else's shift,although they already work full
time.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Bam.
So there's still something.
Whether it's their hourly,their current position, I don't
think anything will ever beenough.
It sounds like that personprobably can't work enough to
make what they need to make orwhat they aspire to make.
So I think it's just a band-aidafter a band-aid after a
(13:30):
band-aid.
Eventually that band-aid isgoing to get torn off.
I don't think continuallyworking so hard in that same
position, um, it's just gonnaend up burnout red flag or green
flag.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
The owner of the restaurant takes their tips hey,
knock it off.
That happened to me doing itnot gonna shame on you yeah I
was getting paid five bucks anhour and it was a vietnamese
restaurant.
When I was 15 and I didn't know, because it was my first job
(14:04):
and every day she would takehalf of my tips.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You're telling me this story and I see so much
wage and hour violations, not tomention child labor violations
at 15 years old.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
My statute of limitations has run.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I mean it's hard.
I think it's underappreciatedthat, like the hospitality
industry, is hard.
These people are on their feetmost of the time, if not all of
the time, and they're workingreally hard shifts.
I remember when I was studyingat USD Law School and I was in
law school, I was in the libraryearly in the morning.
I was there by six and I wasalways there late and I remember
(14:41):
every time I didn't feel likestudying.
I saw this old janitor she wasprobably like 75 years old and
she was this older, biggerHispanic lady and I remember
looking at her and I was like,if she can work these long hours
on her feet, I should sure ashell not be complaining about
sitting in this comfortablelibrary chair reading a law book
.
And it was like my motivation.
(15:02):
Every day I saw her and I wouldsmile at her and she was my
motivation to like keep studyingmy books and count my blessings
of how privileged I am that Ican sit there and read about
constitutional law and take atest, as opposed to cleaning
toilets when I'm 75 years old.
So you know, perspective is iseverything.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
It sure is, and the fact that you saw that from that
lens is pretty incredible.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So what's the most memorable story of most impact
on an individual in San DiegoCounty through your Big Table
efforts?
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Her name's Tiffany.
Tiffany had met with our carecoordinator, glo, who's been
with us almost four years andshe'd helped met with this
individual multiple times.
She was gainfully employed butshe, for whatever reason, she
ended up in a shelter and, likeshe likes to say, she had 325
(16:11):
roommates.
Now imagine living in a shelterand you think it's maybe there
for you're there for a weekend,maybe a week or a month.
You fast forward a year, a yearand a half.
She's still working.
She's living in a shelter.
Tiffany still was a resilientindividual.
She still met with Glo in thatrelational care.
(16:35):
Glo became her only trustedperson that she can lean on,
that she can text, that she cancry with, that she can share
just the deepest things that aregoing on and her struggles.
Cry with that you can share,just heard the deepest things
that are going on and herstruggles.
And although and us as BigTable couldn't meet all of her
financial needs, we were able tomeet with her in that
relational care and kind ofcoaching and being that solid
(16:56):
person for her.
She finally found and gotaccepted into an apartment
complex.
It was actually a new build andit was the last one for
low-income housing in thiscomplex, the last one, and it
came down to the wire.
She ended getting approved.
(17:16):
Glow was there with her andwhen I met her, she came in the
office to share her testimony.
We're going over custom talkingpoints for her for this event.
Um, she was almost in tearsthat she was so proud that she
can write a check for rent, whenmost of us like, oh, we don't
(17:37):
want, uh, we hate, like ourmortgage comes out right, or our
rent, and we don't look forwardto those, those monthly dues,
so to speak, to live.
Well, she was giddy, she waslaughing, she's basically doing
a backflip that she was affordedthis luxury now to write a
(17:58):
check, to have her own space.
And so now some of her friendsand coworkers like, hey, you'd
come out with us afterwards andwe're going to set.
Like, no, I'm going home, home,I have my house and my home
it's it's my, it's my space.
I don't have 325 roommatesanymore it was just a beautiful
thing perspective is everythingand it's every story is very,
(18:25):
very, very unique.
My personal care recipientnamed Sergio.
He works in San Diego Countyand he is on.
He was referred to us and thisis the only care recipient that
I am working with, currently 65years old, been married,
(18:47):
beautiful wife, beautifulmarriage, and here he is trying
to retire, you know, in the nextfew years, and he has children
who now have children, andsomething happened with one of
his children and now, forunforeseen reasons, he can't
(19:07):
provide for the three childrenunder the age of 15 now.
So grandma and grandpa step in.
They're in a two bedroom, onebath where it was just the two
of them.
Now he has to care for a 10, 11and a 12 or 13 year old Three
kids living under that roof now,and he's still making the same
(19:30):
wage that he was making for thelast four years, gainfully
employed, just one employee ofthe month at a really big
facility, and his boss referredhim to us.
I gave him a call, I verifiedthat the information was true,
right from his boss, and then Iwent and met with this
individual that he was reallybrought to tears in our first
(19:56):
meeting why'd you make him cry?
I love to make men cry.
He was floored that somebodywould take the time to care for
him when he's always caring foreverybody else.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Because it's hard for him to be vulnerable, because
everybody relies on him.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
He's never, not once in his life, asked for help.
He's a proud immigrant thatcame here, hardworking man,
raised his family to the best ofhis ability, and unforeseen
circumstances happened with hisown children, and so now he is
legally adopting his threegrandchildren.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So how does someone become a partner with you and
help you?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
They can visit our website, bigtableorg, and
there's a donate button.
We are a 501c3.
We have two fundraising eventsa year.
The one is a smaller, for only54 people events a year.
The one is a smaller, for only54 people.
It's set for a specific reason.
And then our big fundraisingevent is September 18th.
(20:53):
That we're going to do on theHornblower.
So we want that to be a bigparty.
We want to sell out all the 500tickets for that and we're
hoping that we get new people,new partners, new people that
want to come alongside us againas a monthly supporter.
That would be the biggest help.
If anybody listening wants tobecome a monthly supporter at $5
(21:14):
, $25, $50 a month, that goesthe furthest.
And then, in addition to that,if people want to contribute
raffle prizes, hotel stays, youknow things like that, then
those are all icing on the cake.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
So there was a recent New York Times article that
talks about the burnoutpost-COVID and the hospitality
business because they don't getenough support, not enough
income.
What happens to those who stay?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
People that we work with were significantly impacted
by COVID but they're back atwork because they want to work.
And owners got really impactednegatively by and large in the
industry because their staffwere cut significantly.
A lot of people then didn'tcome back to work.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I will touch on just two things.
During COVID.
What happened?
I mean, I think two thingsgreatly impacted.
During COVID, I was working forJackson Lewis, which was a
defense company, and werepresented employers.
And employers were scatteringto try and keep up with all of
the state and federalregulations that they were
(22:20):
required to upkeep for COVIDtimes.
And employers were getting hitwith all these lawsuits of
employees like oh, I'm requiredto stand in line get my fever
checked and I'm not paid forthose five minutes.
But add that up times 20employees, that's a lot of money
right For like a period of time.
So employers, because they weredealing with all of these
(22:40):
oversight issues, they caught aton of people because it just
didn't make sense financiallyfor them to keep those people.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
This is an incredibleorganization.
We look forward to working withyou, collaborating with you and
getting the word out so morepeople know about the services
you provide, can benefit fromthose services and more
(23:01):
organizations can help sponsoryour organization.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
It's been a lovely time, Really appreciate you
opening your doors and yourstudio for me to come in and
share what Big Table has beendoing.
Again, I feel like we are just.
We laid the foundation andwe're just scratching the
surface on what's possible andgreat partners like yourselves
and all the partners thathopefully are out there.
We're eager to work with youand yeah the more partners we
(23:29):
have, the more people we canpossibly encounter.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
If this episode moved you check out BigTableorg and
consider becoming a care sponsoror nominator.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
It's not about changing the whole system
overnight.
It's about showing up for oneperson, one crisis, one big
table at a time.
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