August 14, 2025 • 13 mins
Hey friend—welcome back to The Glow Up Year. If you've ever had a massive breakthrough only to crash right after... you're not alone.
This week, I’m opening up about what I’m calling the Quantum Leap Blues—that disorienting moment when you’ve grown, leveled up, and stepped into a new version of yourself... but the world around you hasn’t caught up yet.
After four powerful days at Coco Rocha Model Camp—where I felt confident, creative, and truly me—I came back home only to feel like I didn’t belong in my own life anymore. One small moment triggered a full-on spiral: old habits, self-sabotage, binge eating, isolation. My nervous system was screaming, “This is too much!” even though it was everything I had wanted.
In this vulnerable episode, I walk you through what happened, how I moved through it, and why growth doesn’t always feel good in the moment. We talk about what it means to integrate a new version of yourself, how to ride out the lows after a high, and how to give yourself grace when you feel like you're regressing.
If you’re stuck between who you were and who you're becoming—this one's for you.
Let’s talk about the messy middle, the fear of success, and why you can have a glow up without losing yourself in the process.
Because around here? We don’t gatekeep. We grow together.
✨ 2025✨ is about to be huge, and I want you to be part of this journey. Let’s glow up together.
🎭 Follow My Journey: Stay connected and get behind-the-scenes insights!
📸 Instagram: @megsalisburyofficial
🎬 TikTok: @megsalisburyofficial
Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with your fellow dreamers—we’re all in this for the long game!
Let’s glow up together—because your breakthrough moment might be closer than you think.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I don't even know if this episode is going to make
any sense.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'm even goingto post it.
I don't even know if I want tosay this, but I feel like I
wouldn't be doing you justice ormyself justice if I didn't
share some of the lows.
Welcome back to the glow upyear.
(00:36):
I'm meg actress model andyou're behind the scenes bestie
when it comes to chasing dreamsand building something big.
After years of navigating theups, the downs and the wild
in-betweens of the entertainmentworld, I'm fully stepping into
this next level chapter.
(00:56):
This podcast is your backstagepass to all the real stuff
Auditions, photo shoots, mindsetshifts, script prep, career
curveballs, you name it.
I'm sharing it all the highsand the hard lessons in real
time.
If you're ready to go all in onyour glow up, take some brave
(01:18):
steps and see what it reallylooks like to grow in this
industry, grab your favoritedrink, get cozy and let's dive
in together.
Hi friends, today's episode isgoing to be a little vulnerable.
Not a little vulnerable, it'sgoing to be a lot vulnerable.
And if this isn't your vibe,you can just skip right on into
(01:40):
the next episode.
But I promised that I wouldshare with you the highs and the
lows, and today we're a littlelow.
I feel like I wouldn't be Iwouldn't be doing you justice or
(02:02):
myself justice if I didn'tshare some of the lows, because
the truth is, it's not alwayshighs and it's okay to have lows
, but this particular low hasfelt like a pattern and that's
why I feel like it's somethingthat I wanted to talk through
(02:23):
with you guys today, like it'ssomething that I wanted to talk
through with you guys today.
Oh, okay, I am calling thistime, this time that I'm in
right now, the quantum leapblues.
For me, this usually happensafter I've had a quantum leap
and it's just, if I'm beingcompletely honest, it's just my
nervous system catching up tothis new, this new version, this
(02:48):
um, this better version, thisnew level.
I went to Coco camp on Thursday.
I went there, I stayed untilTuesday and then I was thrown
right back into my normal job onWednesday morning, and not a
lot of time, like from beinghome to having to go straight
into work for the next day.
(03:09):
And I felt like these twopeople, like I felt like I was
being split down the center,because when I was at Coco model
camp, I felt like I was themost authentic me that I have
ever been like.
I just felt like I was in theright me that I have ever been
Like.
I just felt like I was in theright place at the right time
with the right people andeverybody was so caring and so
(03:31):
loving and the entire experiencewas awesome and, like I said, I
was teary-eyed every daybecause I just enjoyed it.
I just had so much fun.
And then it was kind of likewhiplash, to be like thrown
right back into my normal lifepattern with the frustrations
(03:53):
that I have with my normal job,and I just felt like I was this
highest level of myself for fourdays and then I felt like I was
like popping back down intowhat I had been before and these
two versions of myself werejust like bumping up against
each other and saying no, wecan't be separate anymore, we
(04:16):
have to be one.
But the thing with being one isthat it's hard sometimes to
change in a community of people,to decide you want to be
something different and want toand take that leap and risk that
judgment of other people.
And so I felt like on thatfirst day, right away when I was
(04:37):
thrown back into work that Igot oh, I don't know if you have
, I don't even know if I want tosay this.
I felt like I got made fun of alittle bit by one person.
Why am I, why am I afraid tosay that I felt like I got made
fun of.
I felt like I got bullied byone person.
That one person made those twoidentities hitting up against
(04:58):
each other because I went intothat work day being like I am a
new person, this is who I wantto be and I'm going to show up
as this new person everywhere Igo.
And then when I showed up withthat new person, this person was
not not kind to me that day andwas very judgmental and made
jokes and and so I hit up thatpersonality.
It was like right away that mynew self was not accepted in
(05:23):
like this old environment and Idon't want to be in the old
environment forever.
Right, who does?
Nobody wants to be in their dayjob forever, nobody.
So those.
I felt like right away that Icouldn't be who I am anymore and
it just like started thisspiral of of shit.
And then the mindset just got sobad for a week and I'm normally
(05:47):
really good with mindset andthe mindset just got so bad and
so negative for a week that Ijust kept feeling like I had to
fill the void with food and Ijust felt like I can't.
I had to keep like likepunishing myself and I don't.
I it's crazy to me that I feellike and this is just like in
(06:09):
general that I can't me beatingmyself up in my head doesn't?
It can't be enough of apunishment itself.
I have to actually like have aphysical punishment, whatever it
may be.
Like feeding myself food thatmy body can't, can't digest and
can't enjoy and can't use togrow really tried very hard for
(06:35):
the last week to stuff it downand and binge eat it and make it
all like kind of go away.
At least for me with bingeeating is that it really your
problem is really only solved inthe short window of time that
(06:56):
you are actually physicallyeating and so you got to keep
curbing it and you got to keepdoing the behavior to make it
any better.
And it doesn't actually make itany better at all and I think
I've shared on here.
But I have a lot of inflammationissues and with my immune
(07:19):
system and, and so when I dothings like this, which, if I'm
being completely honest, is notregularly.
This is very old behavior forme, which is why it kind of blew
my mind a little bit and by oldI mean like four years old Like
this is not typical behaviorfor me at all on the regular
(07:39):
anymore, and so when I fell into this pattern, I knew that
something wasn't right and I Idon't even know if this episode
is going to make any sense, Idon't know, I don't know if I'm
even going to post it, but Ijust, I just honestly
self-sabotaged my entire forlike six straight days, as often
(08:03):
and as regularly as I could,with food, and I just binge ate
and my body really, really,really started paying for it
like right away, honestly, rightaway.
But, um, and the crazy thing is, this behavior like this
behavior could previously last aday or two for me, but because
(08:25):
I was away from my community, Iwas away from my family, I was
away from my accountability, I,this behavior lasted like six
full days.
And I just wanted to talk abouthow we can get stuck in in fear
thinking, because that'sdefinitely where I am.
(08:47):
I am stuck in some fear thinkingand the fear, thinking it came
from looking at these amazing,incredible fucking photos from
model camp and being so proud ofthem and at the same time,
(09:07):
being like, oh girl, you mighthave girl bossed too hard and I
don't know if you can actuallyhandle this.
Like I don't know I, I don'tknow if you're, if I don't know
if I could handle if my dreamscame true.
That sounds so ridiculous.
That sounds so ridiculous.
(09:29):
But it's like.
What I'm getting stuck in isthe fear of success.
And what happens with the fearof success is what if I can't
deal with the overwhelmingresponsibility, tasks, all of
those things that come with this?
What if I can't handle it?
What if I embarrass myself inpublic, like majorly?
(09:53):
What if I get it and I don'tlike it?
Then all of this stuff, all ofthe work to get here, all of the
time, all of it wouldn't.
It's not wasted.
It's not wasted, megan.
It's not wasted.
Life is about the journey, notabout the destination.
It's not wasted.
It's not wasted, megan.
It's not wasted.
Life is about the journey, notabout the destination.
It's not wasted time.
It's not wasted time, because Ilearned something.
(10:15):
I enjoyed it.
It's not wasted time.
It's not wasted time.
I'm just so, and I'm alsofrustrated that I let one
person's insecurity make me feellike shit for six days instead
of popping out of it.
I want to talk a little bittoday about the power of
(10:37):
community, because if I hadreached out to my community that
week, then it wouldn't havetaken that long for me to get it
together.
But I chose not to reach out tomy community that week.
Then it wouldn't have takenthat long for me to get it
together.
But I chose not to reach out tomy community that week and I
chose to be distant, and mycommunity would have had my back
.
They would have made me feelgreat right away.
(10:59):
They would have helped merewire the thoughts, get back on
the right path right away.
I know this is how I'm feelingright now is temporary, and that
it's not going to last forever.
When you're at a low, it'sbound to come back up and you're
bound to be back at a high soon, and so I'm just kind of
waiting that out and I'm justkind of sitting with how I'm
(11:22):
feeling right now and I'm justtrying to make good choices for
myself, because that's what Ideserve, and I am doing my best
to get myself back on track.
I am not compromising how Ifeel right now or what I'm doing
(11:44):
, and I'm just doing my best toget through and then when it
gets better, it gets better.
And right now it's just not afun part, and and it's okay to
not have fun parts, it's okay tohave hard times.
But if you're out there rightnow and you are on your own glow
up, or you are are you'retrying new things and you're
(12:06):
trying to go to a new level, oryou had a quantum leap and
you're in the quantum blues,just hang in there and remember
that it's temporary and lean onyour community.
Find that inner passion to keepgoing when you're ready and
feel the emotions and don'tcompromise who you are for
(12:28):
somebody else.
Don't do it.
I think that's all I got today.
Y'all, I'm sorry.
This has been so hard, this isso vulnerable, and that's it for
today's episode of the Glow UpYear.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
I'm seriously so excited tohave you along for the ride.
We're only just getting startedand the best is yet to come.
(12:51):
If you felt fired up orinspired today, hit that
subscribe button, leave a quickreview and pass this episode
along to another fellow dreamerin your circle.
Want more BTS pep talks andupdates?
Come find me over on social atMeg Salisbury official.
I'll be sharing more of myjourney there.
Remember, your glow up isunfolding, one bold move at a
(13:15):
time.
Keep showing up, keep dreamingbigger and I'll catch you on the
next one.
I don't even know if this episode is going to make
any sense.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'm even goingto post it.
I don't even know if I want tosay this, but I feel like I
wouldn't be doing you justice ormyself justice if I didn't
share some of the lows.
Welcome back to the glow upyear.
(00:36):
I'm meg actress model andyou're behind the scenes bestie
when it comes to chasing dreamsand building something big.
After years of navigating theups, the downs and the wild
in-betweens of the entertainmentworld, I'm fully stepping into
this next level chapter.
(00:56):
This podcast is your backstagepass to all the real stuff
Auditions, photo shoots, mindsetshifts, script prep, career
curveballs, you name it.
I'm sharing it all the highsand the hard lessons in real
time.
If you're ready to go all in onyour glow up, take some brave
(01:18):
steps and see what it reallylooks like to grow in this
industry, grab your favoritedrink, get cozy and let's dive
in together.
Hi friends, today's episode isgoing to be a little vulnerable.
Not a little vulnerable, it'sgoing to be a lot vulnerable.
And if this isn't your vibe,you can just skip right on into
(01:40):
the next episode.
But I promised that I wouldshare with you the highs and the
lows, and today we're a littlelow.
I feel like I wouldn't be Iwouldn't be doing you justice or
(02:02):
myself justice if I didn'tshare some of the lows, because
the truth is, it's not alwayshighs and it's okay to have lows
, but this particular low hasfelt like a pattern and that's
why I feel like it's somethingthat I wanted to talk through
(02:23):
with you guys today, like it'ssomething that I wanted to talk
through with you guys today.
Oh, okay, I am calling thistime, this time that I'm in
right now, the quantum leapblues.
For me, this usually happensafter I've had a quantum leap
and it's just, if I'm beingcompletely honest, it's just my
nervous system catching up tothis new, this new version, this
(02:48):
um, this better version, thisnew level.
I went to Coco camp on Thursday.
I went there, I stayed untilTuesday and then I was thrown
right back into my normal job onWednesday morning, and not a
lot of time, like from beinghome to having to go straight
into work for the next day.
(03:09):
And I felt like these twopeople, like I felt like I was
being split down the center,because when I was at Coco model
camp, I felt like I was themost authentic me that I have
ever been like.
I just felt like I was in theright me that I have ever been
Like.
I just felt like I was in theright place at the right time
with the right people andeverybody was so caring and so
(03:31):
loving and the entire experiencewas awesome and, like I said, I
was teary-eyed every daybecause I just enjoyed it.
I just had so much fun.
And then it was kind of likewhiplash, to be like thrown
right back into my normal lifepattern with the frustrations
(03:53):
that I have with my normal job,and I just felt like I was this
highest level of myself for fourdays and then I felt like I was
like popping back down intowhat I had been before and these
two versions of myself werejust like bumping up against
each other and saying no, wecan't be separate anymore, we
(04:16):
have to be one.
But the thing with being one isthat it's hard sometimes to
change in a community of people,to decide you want to be
something different and want toand take that leap and risk that
judgment of other people.
And so I felt like on thatfirst day, right away when I was
(04:37):
thrown back into work that Igot oh, I don't know if you have
, I don't even know if I want tosay this.
I felt like I got made fun of alittle bit by one person.
Why am I, why am I afraid tosay that I felt like I got made
fun of.
I felt like I got bullied byone person.
That one person made those twoidentities hitting up against
(04:58):
each other because I went intothat work day being like I am a
new person, this is who I wantto be and I'm going to show up
as this new person everywhere Igo.
And then when I showed up withthat new person, this person was
not not kind to me that day andwas very judgmental and made
jokes and and so I hit up thatpersonality.
It was like right away that mynew self was not accepted in
(05:23):
like this old environment and Idon't want to be in the old
environment forever.
Right, who does?
Nobody wants to be in their dayjob forever, nobody.
So those.
I felt like right away that Icouldn't be who I am anymore and
it just like started thisspiral of of shit.
And then the mindset just got sobad for a week and I'm normally
(05:47):
really good with mindset andthe mindset just got so bad and
so negative for a week that Ijust kept feeling like I had to
fill the void with food and Ijust felt like I can't.
I had to keep like likepunishing myself and I don't.
I it's crazy to me that I feellike and this is just like in
(06:09):
general that I can't me beatingmyself up in my head doesn't?
It can't be enough of apunishment itself.
I have to actually like have aphysical punishment, whatever it
may be.
Like feeding myself food thatmy body can't, can't digest and
can't enjoy and can't use togrow really tried very hard for
(06:35):
the last week to stuff it downand and binge eat it and make it
all like kind of go away.
At least for me with bingeeating is that it really your
problem is really only solved inthe short window of time that
(06:56):
you are actually physicallyeating and so you got to keep
curbing it and you got to keepdoing the behavior to make it
any better.
And it doesn't actually make itany better at all and I think
I've shared on here.
But I have a lot of inflammationissues and with my immune
(07:19):
system and, and so when I dothings like this, which, if I'm
being completely honest, is notregularly.
This is very old behavior forme, which is why it kind of blew
my mind a little bit and by oldI mean like four years old Like
this is not typical behaviorfor me at all on the regular
(07:39):
anymore, and so when I fell into this pattern, I knew that
something wasn't right and I Idon't even know if this episode
is going to make any sense, Idon't know, I don't know if I'm
even going to post it, but Ijust, I just honestly
self-sabotaged my entire forlike six straight days, as often
(08:03):
and as regularly as I could,with food, and I just binge ate
and my body really, really,really started paying for it
like right away, honestly, rightaway.
But, um, and the crazy thing is, this behavior like this
behavior could previously last aday or two for me, but because
(08:25):
I was away from my community, Iwas away from my family, I was
away from my accountability, I,this behavior lasted like six
full days.
And I just wanted to talk abouthow we can get stuck in in fear
thinking, because that'sdefinitely where I am.
(08:47):
I am stuck in some fear thinkingand the fear, thinking it came
from looking at these amazing,incredible fucking photos from
model camp and being so proud ofthem and at the same time,
(09:07):
being like, oh girl, you mighthave girl bossed too hard and I
don't know if you can actuallyhandle this.
Like I don't know I, I don'tknow if you're, if I don't know
if I could handle if my dreamscame true.
That sounds so ridiculous.
That sounds so ridiculous.
(09:29):
But it's like.
What I'm getting stuck in isthe fear of success.
And what happens with the fearof success is what if I can't
deal with the overwhelmingresponsibility, tasks, all of
those things that come with this?
What if I can't handle it?
What if I embarrass myself inpublic, like majorly?
(09:53):
What if I get it and I don'tlike it?
Then all of this stuff, all ofthe work to get here, all of the
time, all of it wouldn't.
It's not wasted.
It's not wasted, megan.
It's not wasted.
Life is about the journey, notabout the destination.
It's not wasted.
It's not wasted, megan.
It's not wasted.
Life is about the journey, notabout the destination.
It's not wasted time.
It's not wasted time, because Ilearned something.
(10:15):
I enjoyed it.
It's not wasted time.
It's not wasted time.
I'm just so, and I'm alsofrustrated that I let one
person's insecurity make me feellike shit for six days instead
of popping out of it.
I want to talk a little bittoday about the power of
(10:37):
community, because if I hadreached out to my community that
week, then it wouldn't havetaken that long for me to get it
together.
But I chose not to reach out tomy community that week.
Then it wouldn't have takenthat long for me to get it
together.
But I chose not to reach out tomy community that week and I
chose to be distant, and mycommunity would have had my back
.
They would have made me feelgreat right away.
(10:59):
They would have helped merewire the thoughts, get back on
the right path right away.
I know this is how I'm feelingright now is temporary, and that
it's not going to last forever.
When you're at a low, it'sbound to come back up and you're
bound to be back at a high soon, and so I'm just kind of
waiting that out and I'm justkind of sitting with how I'm
(11:22):
feeling right now and I'm justtrying to make good choices for
myself, because that's what Ideserve, and I am doing my best
to get myself back on track.
I am not compromising how Ifeel right now or what I'm doing
(11:44):
, and I'm just doing my best toget through and then when it
gets better, it gets better.
And right now it's just not afun part, and and it's okay to
not have fun parts, it's okay tohave hard times.
But if you're out there rightnow and you are on your own glow
up, or you are are you'retrying new things and you're
(12:06):
trying to go to a new level, oryou had a quantum leap and
you're in the quantum blues,just hang in there and remember
that it's temporary and lean onyour community.
Find that inner passion to keepgoing when you're ready and
feel the emotions and don'tcompromise who you are for
(12:28):
somebody else.
Don't do it.
I think that's all I got today.
Y'all, I'm sorry.
This has been so hard, this isso vulnerable, and that's it for
today's episode of the Glow UpYear.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
I'm seriously so excited tohave you along for the ride.
We're only just getting startedand the best is yet to come.
(12:51):
If you felt fired up orinspired today, hit that
subscribe button, leave a quickreview and pass this episode
along to another fellow dreamerin your circle.
Want more BTS pep talks andupdates?
Come find me over on social atMeg Salisbury official.
I'll be sharing more of myjourney there.
Remember, your glow up isunfolding, one bold move at a
(13:15):
time.
Keep showing up, keep dreamingbigger and I'll catch you on the
next one.
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