Have you ever felt the profound release that comes from sharing a story that's been weighing on your heart? In this special episode of the Golden Hour Birth Podcast, Liz and Natalie delve into the transformative power of communicating and sharing your birth story. Drawing from their upcoming course, "Reclaim Your Birth Story: Finding Peace and Healing," they focus on the crucial role of Module 4 in the healing process.
Liz and Natalie explore the benefits of opening up about your birth experience, providing strategies for effective communication with loved ones and emphasizing the importance of finding validation and support within a community of individuals who have gone through similar experiences. They discuss the significance of releasing pent-up emotions, gaining new perspectives, and finding a safe space where you can be heard and understood.
Throughout the episode, Liz and Natalie offer practical advice on how to approach conversations with loved ones, express your feelings and needs assertively, and actively listen to others. They also highlight the value of connecting with support groups, online communities, and counseling services that align with your specific needs and values.
To illustrate the power of sharing and processing your birth story, Liz and Natalie share an interview with an anonymous guest who bravely recounts her challenging birth and postpartum experience. The guest's story serves as a testament to the healing that can come from talking through your experiences, letting go of guilt, and finding empowerment in your journey.
Join Liz and Natalie as they guide you through the process of reclaiming your birth story and discovering the strength within you to heal and thrive. Don't miss this opportunity to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
Thank you for being a part of the Golden Hour Birth Podcast community. Your support means the world to us. Stay golden!
And for those eager to continue the path of personal growth, we reveal how to access our anxiety breakthrough journal, 'Reclaim your Calm,' at no cost. Download your copy here!
To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you ever felt silenced, ashamed or alone in
your birth experience?
Do you long to reclaim yourstory and find healing in a
supportive community?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
In this special episode of the Golden Hour Birth
Podcast, we're diving into thetransformative power of
communicating and sharing yourbirth story.
Join us as we explore thebenefits of opening up
strategies of effectivecommunication and the importance
of finding validation andsupport.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Get ready to take the first step in reclaiming your
birth story and discovering thestrength within you to heal and
thrive.
And stay tuned until the end,where we'll share a real-life
story of a mom who foundempowerment and peace by sharing
her birth experience the GoldenHour Birth Podcast a podcast
about real birth stories andcreating connections through our
(00:47):
shared experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Childbirth isn't just about the child.
It's about the person who gavebirth, their lives, their wisdom
and their empowerment.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
We're Liz and Natalie the Golden Hour Birth Podcast,
and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space
for you.
We're here to laugh with you,cry with you and hold space for
you.
Welcome to a special episode ofthe Golden Hour Birth Podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I'm your co-host, Liz , and I'm Natalie.
In this series, we're going togive you an exclusive look into
our upcoming course Reclaim yourBirth Story Finding Peace and
Healing.
Today, we're going to focus onModule 4, Communicating and
Sharing your Birth Story.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Today, we're going to focus on module four
communicating and sharing yourbirth story.
Sharing your birth story can bea powerful tool for healing and
finding support.
In module four, we explore thebenefits of sharing strategies
for effective communication withloved ones and finding
validation through connectingwith others who are trying to
make sense of their births too.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Let's start by discussing the transformative
effects of sharing your storyWith a supportive community.
Opening up with your experienceallows us to release pent-up
emotions and fears, alsoanxieties associated with your
birth.
It provides an opportunity togive voice to your feelings and
have them witnessed andvalidated by others who have
gone through similar experiencesSharing your story can also
(02:07):
help you gain new perspectives.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Hearing other stories and insights can help you view
your own experience fromdifferent angles, which we've
seen from our own podcast, andit allows people to find meaning
and understanding.
It's a powerful reminder thatyou're not alone in your journey
and understanding it's apowerful reminder that you're
not alone in your journey.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
That is so true.
In a supportive community likeours.
You can find the comfort andvalidation that you've been
searching for.
Others who experience sometrauma can relate to your
feelings and struggles andtriumphs and provide you a safe
space where you can be heard andunderstood.
Their empathy and support isinstrumental in your healing
process, and understood.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Their empathy and support is instrumental in your
healing process.
So in module four we also dosome practical strategies for
communicating about your birthexperience with your loved ones.
It's essential to approachthese conversations with clarity
, assertiveness and empathy,which can be pretty difficult.
One key strategy is to choosethe right time and place for the
(03:06):
conversation and make sure youhave a quiet and comfortable
setting for a discussion thatwon't be interrupted by kids or
husbands or crying babies.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Another important aspect is to really clearly
express your feelings and needsand then your expectations as
well.
Make sure you use your clearand assertive language to
communicate your emotions andmaybe even like try it out on a
friend or in the mirror, or kindof just like maybe even make an
(03:41):
outline of what you're hopingto say Just finding that support
from your loved ones is veryhelpful.
And then make sure you use Istatements to share your
perspectives without soundingtoo confrontational or
accusatory or blaming.
Just keep it to I statements.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Definitely you don't want to make your loved one feel
like you're blaming them, likeyou weren't there for me or
something like that, sayingthings like I felt this or I
remember feeling like this,things like that.
So also, you don't want toforget the importance of active
(04:19):
listening, so giving them, yourloved ones, an opportunity to
express their thoughts andemotions, practicing being fully
present, validating theirexperience and showing empathy.
If the conversation becomes toochallenging or emotional, we
definitely recommend seekingprofessional help from a
(04:43):
therapist or mediator.
If you already have a therapist, you can always ask them if you
can bring your husband or yourparent or whoever you want to
have that conversation withgreat advice.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In module four, we're also going to emphasize the
importance of finding validationand support from others who
have experienced maybe similarkind of birth experiences or
even trying to make sense oftheir birth experience.
So connecting with individualswho truly understand your
emotions and your fears and yourchallenges can, of course,
(05:24):
validate those experiences andcreate just more of a safe space
to express your thoughts andfeelings.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
There are a lot of different ways to find a group.
There are support groups,online communities and even
counseling services that arespecifically focused on birthing
experiences.
They don't always, aren'talways focused on a traumatic
birth birth.
(06:01):
I know that there are somegroups that we even know who,
the people who you know havethem and they're for, let's say,
moms you know who arepostpartum six to nine months or
something like that.
So there's definitely lots ofgroups to find connection and
understanding with and, you know, hopefully these spaces can
offer a nonjudgmentalenvironment.
That's what we strive for hereat our podcast is just letting
(06:25):
our guests and friends sharetheir experiences, and then
these support groups where youknow you can listen to other
stories and receive empathy andsupport.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
When seeking support, just make sure that the
community or the counselingservices just align with your
needs and values, because someneeds may be different from like
four months to nine months, sojust kind of what you're needing
in that moment.
Look for the spaces that reallyprioritize empathy and respect
and confidentiality Obviouslythose are important aspects and
just making sure that you feelheard and supported and then
(07:07):
engage in regular interactionsor however you feel comfortable
in the engagement part, theengagement part, and then that
way that more validation andmore support and a renewed sense
of strength and resilience canjust continue to build when
you're communicating and justworking through these feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's a good point about aligning your needs and
values, because I've seen lotsof groups not lots of groups,
but various groups like forLGBTQIA plus communities,
persons of color, religiousgroups, so there's definitely
communities for everyone.
So, yeah, so to put this intopractice, we encourage you to
(07:52):
take the initiative, researchlocal online support groups to
find groups that you might wantto join and take the first step
by joining a group or reachingout to individuals who have
shared similar experiences.
I also know that there's groupsfor specific birth traumas too
(08:13):
birth traumas to an AFE group,specifically C-section groups,
things like that.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So uterus eruption.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
So, yeah, building connections within these
communities can provide a senseof belonging and create lasting
relationships that support yourhealing journey.
You know, we found somefriendships that will be very
lasting just from hearing theiryou know stories here on the
podcast, all the ins and outs.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So remember you just have the power to take control
of your narrative and reallyfinding the support that you
need.
By actively seeking out andengaging in a supportive
community, you can find thatvalidation, the empathy and the
strength that you've beensearching for and as you just
continue to process and healfrom your birth experience, and
to give you a real-life exampleof the power of sharing and
(09:08):
processing your birth story.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
We asked a couple of our guests to share their
stories, and so we're going toshare an interview that we did
conduct with one of our gueststo share their stories.
And so we're going to share aninterview that we did conduct
with one of our guests.
She opened up about herchallenging birth and postpartum
experience and the steps thatshe took to heal.
So this guest wished to remainanonymous, so we're going to be
(09:31):
reading her interview ourselvesas like a reenactment, I guess.
All right, can you describeyour difficult birth or
postpartum experience and whatmade it particularly challenging
for you?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
From our guest.
She said at 33 weeks pregnantwith my first baby, I started
having pain all along the bottomof my ribs.
I called labor and delivery atmy hospital and they told me it
was growing pains and to useheat, ice and Tylenol.
I really felt like somethingwas wrong because I was almost
doubled over in this constantpain.
But I did as they said.
After a few days it went away.
(10:07):
I had the same pain again, onlythis time it went all the way
around to my back and wasradiating up into my chest.
I called labor and deliveryagain and they asked me to come
in and get checked out just incase.
I got there at about 8 pm andthey took my blood pressure 202
over 105.
Wow, and I'm admitted forpreeclampsia.
(10:27):
I'm then told by the OB thatI'm not leaving there without my
baby.
At this point I'm in completeshock.
Side note my husband was acrossthe country in New Jersey for
work when this happened.
My mom had thankfully come tostay with me while he was away
in case I needed help, so I wasvery thankful that I wasn't
alone.
Back to it, I was immediatelyput on magnesium, given Pitocin
(10:50):
to induce labor and given acatheter balloon to help me
dilate faster.
I also had a urinary catheterplaced because I was now
bedbound.
One of the contractions startedand I asked for the epidural,
which came fairly quick andworked well for me.
While all this is happening, myhusband is frantically trying
to get back to Missouri for thebirth of our first child.
I did my best to stay calmbecause of my blood pressure.
(11:12):
Thankfully, my husband arrivedat 9 am and I was able, oh sorry
.
Thankfully, my husband arrivedat 3 am and I was thankfully
able to deliver our baby girlvaginally at 12 pm the next day.
She was a whopping five poundsand actually got discharged
before me.
I had to stay in the hospitalfor four nights because my blood
pressure was too high to sendme home.
(11:35):
Besides feeling unprepared forher early arrival, I also felt
completely out of control.
You think about how the birthof your first child will go.
In your birth plan.
Nothing prepares you for allthis to be thrown out the window
.
As for postpartum, my plan wasto exclusively pump.
After about a week and a half Ifelt so emotionally and
physically drained from thebirth and still coming off
(11:56):
medications, plus my hormonesbeing out of control, I made the
extremely hard decision to stoppumping altogether.
My mental health took such adive that I didn't even want to
hold my daughter.
I felt so disconnected from herand borderline resentment.
After I was able to let go ofbreastfeeding and pumping and
give her a full formula, I couldfinally give 100% of my energy
to her and give her a fullformula.
I could finally give 100% of myenergy to her and build that
(12:18):
connection with her that I waslonging for.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
What was your initial emotional reaction or mindset
after this traumatic experience?
Did you feel angry, guilty,ashamed or any other strong
emotions?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think I felt every emotion possible.
I was angry at my body for notbeing able to carry her to full
term.
I felt like it was my faultsomehow that she was premature.
It was overwhelming andfrustrating to have everything
decided for me, even though Iknew that the safest choice
medically.
I feel guilty for stoppingbreastfeeding, even though it
was the best thing for me and mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
At what point did you realize you needed to take
steps to process and reclaimthis experience?
What was the catalyst?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
There were a lot of gaps in my memory during the 24
hours I was given magnesium andgave birth.
This probably continued a lotout of my emotional surroundings
and experiences.
I think the more I talkedthrough the events with my
family, the more I realized thatthere was.
I realized that it was morehelpful in reclaiming the
(13:24):
experience.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And what specific actions did you take to start
healing from this trauma?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I received a lot of support from my family and
friends.
Although I never did pursuetherapy, I believe talking
through the experience, oftenearly on, mostly with my husband
and my mom, allowed me toslowly heal mentally.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
What mindset shifts or changes in perspective were
most crucial in your journey toreclaiming your story?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I frequently had to remind myself that being induced
and delivering early was out ofmy control and although I could
not control or change how theevents happened, I advocated for
myself whenever I could andalways did the best for myself
and my daughter.
At the time Also, I was reallyhard on myself to stop
breastfeeding.
I felt like I wasn't making thebest decision for my baby and I
(14:15):
was just being selfish.
But I was exclusively pumping.
I felt like I could neverconnect or hold my baby.
I never even wanted to hold herbecause I knew I had to give
her back to someone else so Ican go pump again.
The minute I decided to startto feel a hint of resentment
towards my baby, I knew that Ihad to change something.
No more guilt Fed is best.
So baby girl switched toformula and we've never looked
(14:37):
back.
She's a beautiful, healthy babywho is thriving.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How did you work through any negative self-talk,
guilt or self-blame related towhat happened?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
to you.
My mom and my husband were myrocks.
I thank God I had suchwonderful people to lean on.
After the birth of our daughterit felt like almost every day
we were talking throughsomething that had happened.
Anytime I would talk aboutfeeling guilty or speak
negatively about myself, theywere always there to validate my
feelings and then providesupport.
I am so very blessed.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
What was the hardest part of this reclamation process
for you and how did youovercome that?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
The hardest part was letting go of the guilt.
I had to allow myself to let goof the feeling of guilt in
order to be a mother for mydaughter.
Talking was the best therapyfor me.
The more I talked about it, themore I was able to let go.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
How do you feel now when you recall your birth or
postpartum experience, comparedto how you felt initially?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I feel so much more empowered, especially while
writing this now.
I'm hopeful that my experiencemight help another mama feel
validated if they had somethingsimilar happen.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
What advice would you give to others struggling with
difficult birth trauma?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
based on your own journey, don't keep your
thoughts and your feelingsrelated to birth or postpartum
to yourself.
Talk to a family member, afriend, a therapist, a pet, a
pastor, whoever Just getting itout was so freeing for me and
allowed me to feel theempowerment and validation.
Also, I feel like some guiltabout saying my birth experience
(16:11):
was traumatic.
I don't know why that word tome feels like you have to meet a
certain standard in order tocall it traumatic, almost like
if it wasn't a true near-deathexperience, when I can't call it
that.
So I often find myselfrevalidating the fact that this
was a traumatic experience forme.
It doesn't matter if someoneelse thinks it was.
My feelings are justified andthe same goes for every other
(16:33):
person out there questioningwhether or not they had a true
traumatic experience.
If it caused you to feel out ofcontrol or stress or scared,
depressed, etc.
I believe you had a traumaticexperience.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Amen pressed, etc.
I believe you had a traumaticexperience, amen.
How has reclaiming thisexperience changed you or?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
your outlook on life and birth.
I don't really care what anyoneelse thinks about my birth
postpartum experience anymore.
I was so embarrassed about howthe birth happened and my
choices postpartum.
But I look at my daughter and Iknow that she is strong and
healthy and has a mama who is110% there to support her
physically and emotionally.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That was very powerful, great story of
resilience and healing.
So thank you to our guest forsharing her journey with us.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So, listeners, this is just a glimpse of the
transformative work we'll bedoing in module four and
throughout the entire course ofReclaiming your Birth Story.
We hope that you'll join us onthe path of finding peace and
empowerment.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And throughout our course, we'll dive deeper into
these topics and provide youwith the tools and support that
you need to find peace andhealing.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
If you're interested, in learning more about our
course or signing up, visit ourwebsite at
wwwgoldenhourbirthpodcastcom.
We can't wait to embark on thisjourney with you and just
witness the incredible growthand empowerment that will come
from all of you and reclaimingyour birth story.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And we also have our free anxiety journal.
If you want to jumpstart yourprocess, that'll be linked in
the episode notes.
And thank you so much fortuning into this special episode
of the Golden Hour BirthPodcast and remember your story
matters and you have thestrength within you to heal and
thrive.
(18:28):
See you next episode.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of the Golden Hour
Birth Podcast.
We hope you've enjoyed ourdiscussion and found it
insightful and beneficial.
Remember, the Golden Hour BirthPodcast is made possible by the
support of listeners like you.
If you appreciate the contentwe bring you each week, consider
(18:48):
leaving us a review on yourfavorite podcast platform or
sharing the show with yourfriends and family.
Your support helps us reachmore people and continue
creating valuable episodes.
If you have any questions,suggestions or topics you'd like
us to cover in future episodes,we'd love to hear from you.
You can reach us on our website, wwwgoldenhourbirthpodcast, or
(19:13):
connect with us on social media.
We value your feedback and wantto make sure that we're
delivering the content you wantto hear.
Before we sign off, we'd liketo express our gratitude to our
incredible guests who joined ustoday.
We are honored that they trustus enough to be so open and
vulnerable.
We're grateful for their timeand willingness to share their
stories with us.
(19:33):
If you're interested in takingthe conversation further with us
, join us on our Facebook group,the Golden Hour Birth Circle.
We'll be back next week withanother exciting episode, so be
sure to tune in.
Until then, stay golden andremember to take care of
yourself.
We'll catch you on the nextepisode of the Golden Hour Birth
Podcast.
Bye.
Have you ever felt silenced, ashamed or alone in
your birth experience?
Do you long to reclaim yourstory and find healing in a
supportive community?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
In this special episode of the Golden Hour Birth
Podcast, we're diving into thetransformative power of
communicating and sharing yourbirth story.
Join us as we explore thebenefits of opening up
strategies of effectivecommunication and the importance
of finding validation andsupport.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Get ready to take the first step in reclaiming your
birth story and discovering thestrength within you to heal and
thrive.
And stay tuned until the end,where we'll share a real-life
story of a mom who foundempowerment and peace by sharing
her birth experience the GoldenHour Birth Podcast a podcast
about real birth stories andcreating connections through our
(00:47):
shared experiences.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Childbirth isn't just about the child.
It's about the person who gavebirth, their lives, their wisdom
and their empowerment.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
We're Liz and Natalie the Golden Hour Birth Podcast,
and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space
for you.
We're here to laugh with you,cry with you and hold space for
you.
Welcome to a special episode ofthe Golden Hour Birth Podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I'm your co-host, Liz , and I'm Natalie.
In this series, we're going togive you an exclusive look into
our upcoming course Reclaim yourBirth Story Finding Peace and
Healing.
Today, we're going to focus onModule 4, Communicating and
Sharing your Birth Story.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Today, we're going to focus on module four
communicating and sharing yourbirth story.
Sharing your birth story can bea powerful tool for healing and
finding support.
In module four, we explore thebenefits of sharing strategies
for effective communication withloved ones and finding
validation through connectingwith others who are trying to
make sense of their births too.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Let's start by discussing the transformative
effects of sharing your storyWith a supportive community.
Opening up with your experienceallows us to release pent-up
emotions and fears, alsoanxieties associated with your
birth.
It provides an opportunity togive voice to your feelings and
have them witnessed andvalidated by others who have
gone through similar experiencesSharing your story can also
(02:07):
help you gain new perspectives.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Hearing other stories and insights can help you view
your own experience fromdifferent angles, which we've
seen from our own podcast, andit allows people to find meaning
and understanding.
It's a powerful reminder thatyou're not alone in your journey
and understanding it's apowerful reminder that you're
not alone in your journey.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
That is so true.
In a supportive community likeours.
You can find the comfort andvalidation that you've been
searching for.
Others who experience sometrauma can relate to your
feelings and struggles andtriumphs and provide you a safe
space where you can be heard andunderstood.
Their empathy and support isinstrumental in your healing
process, and understood.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Their empathy and support is instrumental in your
healing process.
So in module four we also dosome practical strategies for
communicating about your birthexperience with your loved ones.
It's essential to approachthese conversations with clarity
, assertiveness and empathy,which can be pretty difficult.
One key strategy is to choosethe right time and place for the
(03:06):
conversation and make sure youhave a quiet and comfortable
setting for a discussion thatwon't be interrupted by kids or
husbands or crying babies.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Another important aspect is to really clearly
express your feelings and needsand then your expectations as
well.
Make sure you use your clearand assertive language to
communicate your emotions andmaybe even like try it out on a
friend or in the mirror, or kindof just like maybe even make an
(03:41):
outline of what you're hopingto say Just finding that support
from your loved ones is veryhelpful.
And then make sure you use Istatements to share your
perspectives without soundingtoo confrontational or
accusatory or blaming.
Just keep it to I statements.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Definitely you don't want to make your loved one feel
like you're blaming them, likeyou weren't there for me or
something like that, sayingthings like I felt this or I
remember feeling like this,things like that.
So also, you don't want toforget the importance of active
(04:19):
listening, so giving them, yourloved ones, an opportunity to
express their thoughts andemotions, practicing being fully
present, validating theirexperience and showing empathy.
If the conversation becomes toochallenging or emotional, we
definitely recommend seekingprofessional help from a
(04:43):
therapist or mediator.
If you already have a therapist, you can always ask them if you
can bring your husband or yourparent or whoever you want to
have that conversation withgreat advice.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In module four, we're also going to emphasize the
importance of finding validationand support from others who
have experienced maybe similarkind of birth experiences or
even trying to make sense oftheir birth experience.
So connecting with individualswho truly understand your
emotions and your fears and yourchallenges can, of course,
(05:24):
validate those experiences andcreate just more of a safe space
to express your thoughts andfeelings.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
There are a lot of different ways to find a group.
There are support groups,online communities and even
counseling services that arespecifically focused on birthing
experiences.
They don't always, aren'talways focused on a traumatic
birth birth.
(06:01):
I know that there are somegroups that we even know who,
the people who you know havethem and they're for, let's say,
moms you know who arepostpartum six to nine months or
something like that.
So there's definitely lots ofgroups to find connection and
understanding with and, you know, hopefully these spaces can
offer a nonjudgmentalenvironment.
That's what we strive for hereat our podcast is just letting
(06:25):
our guests and friends sharetheir experiences, and then
these support groups where youknow you can listen to other
stories and receive empathy andsupport.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
When seeking support, just make sure that the
community or the counselingservices just align with your
needs and values, because someneeds may be different from like
four months to nine months, sojust kind of what you're needing
in that moment.
Look for the spaces that reallyprioritize empathy and respect
and confidentiality Obviouslythose are important aspects and
just making sure that you feelheard and supported and then
(07:07):
engage in regular interactionsor however you feel comfortable
in the engagement part, theengagement part, and then that
way that more validation andmore support and a renewed sense
of strength and resilience canjust continue to build when
you're communicating and justworking through these feelings.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's a good point about aligning your needs and
values, because I've seen lotsof groups not lots of groups,
but various groups like forLGBTQIA plus communities,
persons of color, religiousgroups, so there's definitely
communities for everyone.
So, yeah, so to put this intopractice, we encourage you to
(07:52):
take the initiative, researchlocal online support groups to
find groups that you might wantto join and take the first step
by joining a group or reachingout to individuals who have
shared similar experiences.
I also know that there's groupsfor specific birth traumas too
(08:13):
birth traumas to an AFE group,specifically C-section groups,
things like that.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So uterus eruption.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
So, yeah, building connections within these
communities can provide a senseof belonging and create lasting
relationships that support yourhealing journey.
You know, we found somefriendships that will be very
lasting just from hearing theiryou know stories here on the
podcast, all the ins and outs.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So remember you just have the power to take control
of your narrative and reallyfinding the support that you
need.
By actively seeking out andengaging in a supportive
community, you can find thatvalidation, the empathy and the
strength that you've beensearching for and as you just
continue to process and healfrom your birth experience, and
to give you a real-life exampleof the power of sharing and
(09:08):
processing your birth story.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
We asked a couple of our guests to share their
stories, and so we're going toshare an interview that we did
conduct with one of our gueststo share their stories.
And so we're going to share aninterview that we did conduct
with one of our guests.
She opened up about herchallenging birth and postpartum
experience and the steps thatshe took to heal.
So this guest wished to remainanonymous, so we're going to be
(09:31):
reading her interview ourselvesas like a reenactment, I guess.
All right, can you describeyour difficult birth or
postpartum experience and whatmade it particularly challenging
for you?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
From our guest.
She said at 33 weeks pregnantwith my first baby, I started
having pain all along the bottomof my ribs.
I called labor and delivery atmy hospital and they told me it
was growing pains and to useheat, ice and Tylenol.
I really felt like somethingwas wrong because I was almost
doubled over in this constantpain.
But I did as they said.
After a few days it went away.
(10:07):
I had the same pain again, onlythis time it went all the way
around to my back and wasradiating up into my chest.
I called labor and deliveryagain and they asked me to come
in and get checked out just incase.
I got there at about 8 pm andthey took my blood pressure 202
over 105.
Wow, and I'm admitted forpreeclampsia.
(10:27):
I'm then told by the OB thatI'm not leaving there without my
baby.
At this point I'm in completeshock.
Side note my husband was acrossthe country in New Jersey for
work when this happened.
My mom had thankfully come tostay with me while he was away
in case I needed help, so I wasvery thankful that I wasn't
alone.
Back to it, I was immediatelyput on magnesium, given Pitocin
(10:50):
to induce labor and given acatheter balloon to help me
dilate faster.
I also had a urinary catheterplaced because I was now
bedbound.
One of the contractions startedand I asked for the epidural,
which came fairly quick andworked well for me.
While all this is happening, myhusband is frantically trying
to get back to Missouri for thebirth of our first child.
I did my best to stay calmbecause of my blood pressure.
(11:12):
Thankfully, my husband arrivedat 9 am and I was able, oh sorry
.
Thankfully, my husband arrivedat 3 am and I was thankfully
able to deliver our baby girlvaginally at 12 pm the next day.
She was a whopping five poundsand actually got discharged
before me.
I had to stay in the hospitalfor four nights because my blood
pressure was too high to sendme home.
(11:35):
Besides feeling unprepared forher early arrival, I also felt
completely out of control.
You think about how the birthof your first child will go.
In your birth plan.
Nothing prepares you for allthis to be thrown out the window
.
As for postpartum, my plan wasto exclusively pump.
After about a week and a half Ifelt so emotionally and
physically drained from thebirth and still coming off
(11:56):
medications, plus my hormonesbeing out of control, I made the
extremely hard decision to stoppumping altogether.
My mental health took such adive that I didn't even want to
hold my daughter.
I felt so disconnected from herand borderline resentment.
After I was able to let go ofbreastfeeding and pumping and
give her a full formula, I couldfinally give 100% of my energy
to her and give her a fullformula.
I could finally give 100% of myenergy to her and build that
(12:18):
connection with her that I waslonging for.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
What was your initial emotional reaction or mindset
after this traumatic experience?
Did you feel angry, guilty,ashamed or any other strong
emotions?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think I felt every emotion possible.
I was angry at my body for notbeing able to carry her to full
term.
I felt like it was my faultsomehow that she was premature.
It was overwhelming andfrustrating to have everything
decided for me, even though Iknew that the safest choice
medically.
I feel guilty for stoppingbreastfeeding, even though it
was the best thing for me and mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
At what point did you realize you needed to take
steps to process and reclaimthis experience?
What was the catalyst?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
There were a lot of gaps in my memory during the 24
hours I was given magnesium andgave birth.
This probably continued a lotout of my emotional surroundings
and experiences.
I think the more I talkedthrough the events with my
family, the more I realized thatthere was.
I realized that it was morehelpful in reclaiming the
(13:24):
experience.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And what specific actions did you take to start
healing from this trauma?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I received a lot of support from my family and
friends.
Although I never did pursuetherapy, I believe talking
through the experience, oftenearly on, mostly with my husband
and my mom, allowed me toslowly heal mentally.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
What mindset shifts or changes in perspective were
most crucial in your journey toreclaiming your story?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I frequently had to remind myself that being induced
and delivering early was out ofmy control and although I could
not control or change how theevents happened, I advocated for
myself whenever I could andalways did the best for myself
and my daughter.
At the time Also, I was reallyhard on myself to stop
breastfeeding.
I felt like I wasn't making thebest decision for my baby and I
(14:15):
was just being selfish.
But I was exclusively pumping.
I felt like I could neverconnect or hold my baby.
I never even wanted to hold herbecause I knew I had to give
her back to someone else so Ican go pump again.
The minute I decided to startto feel a hint of resentment
towards my baby, I knew that Ihad to change something.
No more guilt Fed is best.
So baby girl switched toformula and we've never looked
(14:37):
back.
She's a beautiful, healthy babywho is thriving.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How did you work through any negative self-talk,
guilt or self-blame related towhat happened?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
to you.
My mom and my husband were myrocks.
I thank God I had suchwonderful people to lean on.
After the birth of our daughterit felt like almost every day
we were talking throughsomething that had happened.
Anytime I would talk aboutfeeling guilty or speak
negatively about myself, theywere always there to validate my
feelings and then providesupport.
I am so very blessed.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
What was the hardest part of this reclamation process
for you and how did youovercome that?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
The hardest part was letting go of the guilt.
I had to allow myself to let goof the feeling of guilt in
order to be a mother for mydaughter.
Talking was the best therapyfor me.
The more I talked about it, themore I was able to let go.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
How do you feel now when you recall your birth or
postpartum experience, comparedto how you felt initially?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
I feel so much more empowered, especially while
writing this now.
I'm hopeful that my experiencemight help another mama feel
validated if they had somethingsimilar happen.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
What advice would you give to others struggling with
difficult birth trauma?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
based on your own journey, don't keep your
thoughts and your feelingsrelated to birth or postpartum
to yourself.
Talk to a family member, afriend, a therapist, a pet, a
pastor, whoever Just getting itout was so freeing for me and
allowed me to feel theempowerment and validation.
Also, I feel like some guiltabout saying my birth experience
(16:11):
was traumatic.
I don't know why that word tome feels like you have to meet a
certain standard in order tocall it traumatic, almost like
if it wasn't a true near-deathexperience, when I can't call it
that.
So I often find myselfrevalidating the fact that this
was a traumatic experience forme.
It doesn't matter if someoneelse thinks it was.
My feelings are justified andthe same goes for every other
(16:33):
person out there questioningwhether or not they had a true
traumatic experience.
If it caused you to feel out ofcontrol or stress or scared,
depressed, etc.
I believe you had a traumaticexperience.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Amen pressed, etc.
I believe you had a traumaticexperience, amen.
How has reclaiming thisexperience changed you or?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
your outlook on life and birth.
I don't really care what anyoneelse thinks about my birth
postpartum experience anymore.
I was so embarrassed about howthe birth happened and my
choices postpartum.
But I look at my daughter and Iknow that she is strong and
healthy and has a mama who is110% there to support her
physically and emotionally.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That was very powerful, great story of
resilience and healing.
So thank you to our guest forsharing her journey with us.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So, listeners, this is just a glimpse of the
transformative work we'll bedoing in module four and
throughout the entire course ofReclaiming your Birth Story.
We hope that you'll join us onthe path of finding peace and
empowerment.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And throughout our course, we'll dive deeper into
these topics and provide youwith the tools and support that
you need to find peace andhealing.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
If you're interested, in learning more about our
course or signing up, visit ourwebsite at
wwwgoldenhourbirthpodcastcom.
We can't wait to embark on thisjourney with you and just
witness the incredible growthand empowerment that will come
from all of you and reclaimingyour birth story.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And we also have our free anxiety journal.
If you want to jumpstart yourprocess, that'll be linked in
the episode notes.
And thank you so much fortuning into this special episode
of the Golden Hour BirthPodcast and remember your story
matters and you have thestrength within you to heal and
thrive.
(18:28):
See you next episode.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of the Golden Hour
Birth Podcast.
We hope you've enjoyed ourdiscussion and found it
insightful and beneficial.
Remember, the Golden Hour BirthPodcast is made possible by the
support of listeners like you.
If you appreciate the contentwe bring you each week, consider
(18:48):
leaving us a review on yourfavorite podcast platform or
sharing the show with yourfriends and family.
Your support helps us reachmore people and continue
creating valuable episodes.
If you have any questions,suggestions or topics you'd like
us to cover in future episodes,we'd love to hear from you.
You can reach us on our website, wwwgoldenhourbirthpodcast, or
(19:13):
connect with us on social media.
We value your feedback and wantto make sure that we're
delivering the content you wantto hear.
Before we sign off, we'd liketo express our gratitude to our
incredible guests who joined ustoday.
We are honored that they trustus enough to be so open and
vulnerable.
We're grateful for their timeand willingness to share their
stories with us.
(19:33):
If you're interested in takingthe conversation further with us
, join us on our Facebook group,the Golden Hour Birth Circle.
We'll be back next week withanother exciting episode, so be
sure to tune in.
Until then, stay golden andremember to take care of
yourself.
We'll catch you on the nextepisode of the Golden Hour Birth
Podcast.
Bye.
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