June 16, 2025 • 38 mins
Due to illness in our house, we were unable to record an episode for you all this week.
With that being said, we decided to give you a look into one of our Patreon bonus shows that we offer. In this episode we re-cast the movie Hot Fuzz with an all American cast. Tab and Mike went head to head to see who had the better fan-cast.
For this and other bonus content, visit patreon.com/graystaproompod
We offer 3 amazing tiers with many perks, including our Last Call show which is pretty much the stuff we aren't allowed to put on the Monday show.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-gray-s-taproom-podcast--6403665/support.
With that being said, we decided to give you a look into one of our Patreon bonus shows that we offer. In this episode we re-cast the movie Hot Fuzz with an all American cast. Tab and Mike went head to head to see who had the better fan-cast.
For this and other bonus content, visit patreon.com/graystaproompod
We offer 3 amazing tiers with many perks, including our Last Call show which is pretty much the stuff we aren't allowed to put on the Monday show.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-gray-s-taproom-podcast--6403665/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
My patreons, Patrons, patrons, all of you. You're awesome, Thank you, description.
Welcome back to a After a long hiatus of Tapper Maricast,
we have returned. Tab is pushing the table all over
the studio to reach what is.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That Margaritaville gold Blue Agave tequila.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well there's two shot glasses right there.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
One that is taking banana liqueur.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's what the loser banana tequila. I like artificial banana.
We are americanizing. Uh. The episode for the week theme
two thousand and seven's hot Fuzz. You know the drill? Yeah,
Roy Uh Stoned is judging us as he always does,
(02:03):
but always judges us. That's neither here nor there, but
he still loves us. Stone. Welcome back to Patreon Always.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I almost didn't turn myself off mute there, so when
you said I was judging us, I went always. But
you could have heard.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
It's Patreon. People are giving us money for this one,
and we thank them and love them so much. If
you're not subscribed to our patreon you.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I have something like that too, except I call it
only fans, same thing, same.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Thing, Patreon, just what the French say.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
No, Patreon is what you listen to only fans as
you get to see so you can patreon. Well, I mean,
you can listen to someone's butt, but you can watch.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
You can do both. You can listen and watch my
bele be bleached. It is a popular thing on only fans.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Do you want to see what my butthole does when
I fart? Or do you just want to hear the fart?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Not your book? But no, no, no one wants to
see that or hear that or see that.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Sometimes I don't want to see my own bottle.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Thank god I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Have to see it.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, anyway, hot fuzz.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Hot fuzz title because you're bush spear, spear, it's not
good beer.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Title of my ex girlfriend's sex tape. Who boo?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
How much juice do I have?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm good now that's the title of your sex tape?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
How much juice do I have?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
How much juice you get?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I have enough?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
One round.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
My dick's name is o J. The juice is loose,
and it only goes after white bitches, and it moved
to Florida.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
To not have to pay, and the club doesn't fit.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And it's dead.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah it is now yep. I had to think about
that because OJ is dead.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Ha ha fuck OJ he died and I find his death.
He did kill her. He killed that. To quote Dave Chappelle,
he fucking did that ship. Yeah, he fucking did that ship.
All right.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So for the those of you listening to this Patreon,
go back and listen to hot Fuzz, or if you well,
since you are part of the Patreon, you can listen
to it first and then listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Or subscribe to AJ's Only Fans and see his Hot
fuzz a Mondays and Thursdays, Devin p and Eastern ten Pacific.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I'm not gonna lie after like after watching that that
video from Shane gillis from Gill and Keys, but he's
like the only fans Dad, Like.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
It's like, I want under you like that PS five
you got? Do you think that it's not sure that
I got you?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
You're like, damn, Like it makes it makes you wonder
a little bit. You're like, I wonder how much one
could make.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I can't wait for Tires to premiere on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Oh my god, it's gonna be so good.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh my god. All right, well, we are americanizing all
American cast a British buddy cop comedy and it's gonna
be fun, and I hope that I don't lose.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Always fun.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh, they're only fun if I win.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You have lost the past three.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I won the last one actually, yeah, because you
tricked me with that triple I p A.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
So the next one, no, No, we've had more since then,
but we've had a couple.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well, it was it was a lake karma.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The ABV is not that bad on these is that?
Is that how she checked you?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
The I p A.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
She tricked me because it's a fucking I p A
and he hates them, and I expecting him to fucking
crack in the.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Fucker, dude. I shotgun the fuck out of that triple I.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Part about that one is most people don't realize that
B word was on the other side of the screen,
like where you are, And not only was I going,
B word was also going.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It was for the Christmas the Christmas one else. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, so I'm going, And that's all you hear in
the video is me going, But you can't hear B word.
But he's doing it opposite of me.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So he's playing actual vomit sounds on his soundboard.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
No, he was actually underneath someone else's desk. That's where
he does a podcast from when he disturs.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's funny because he is subscribed to our Patreon and
he will hear this, and it's not it's not when
he comes up that he hits the desk.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
It's just him trying to move in general, because it's.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
A tight fit. It's not when he comes up. It's
when the cup goes down. It's when he.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
He really has like no shame about how big is.
I'm over here like, man, I'm getting bigger. I'm feeling shameful.
And he's over there like I'm fucking loving life.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
B Ward's living it up, living it up, living the dream.
He's living his best life. You gotta respect that, even
if it is Bee where I guess.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
I mean, you gotta have some kind of a condition
being a fucking Cowboys fan.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, that explains a lot. Oh, or if you're friends with.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Jay, he's a true glutton, they say glutton for Punishman.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That explains his friendship with Jake.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
They really are like that odd couple, like like Walter
Matthow and uh the other guy in that movie, John Lemon.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, like they really are.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
It's so fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's great two.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Thousand and seven Hot Fuzz. So for those of you
in the Patreon who have not seen it, Mikayla.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
What movie hasn't she seen?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Mikla, why haven't you seen it?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It's It's sad. But we introduced her to Seana the
Dead and as we're watching it, Gunner.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
The entire ass Scream franchise, the.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Entire Scream franchise. Yes, so we're trying to introduce her
to movies when we get to see her. But she
does need to watch Hot Fuzz and World's end with
us with us because it's better with us.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
She was she like, only allowed to watch a Little
House in the Prairie when she grew up.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
P Yes, yes, yes, yes, I can attest to this
because I was there a masterpiece theater PBS k e
T The Red Green Show. Yes, Red Green Show. Absolutely, Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
We would think.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I see myself like younger me and her growing up.
It's kind of scary. So, uh, let's get the show
on the road.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well, who's up first? Who's our first cast?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
You have it in order and I do, Manager's office,
mister Skinner.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Mister Skinner's up first, Skinner, Ladies, first. Sure, Okay, go ahead,
I love mine. I do too. AJ is gonna jack
off when he Here's who I got, Jesus Christ because
he's this guy.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Are you ready? You ready?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, I got the lotion.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Okay, my mister Skinner, Vince.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Vaughn, Okay, you wait, no build up to it, just
straight to the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Vince Vaughn because I think he can play a dick
at the same time as being funny. Even though Skinner,
I mean, he was dry funny. That's why I think
Fence Wand would play a very good Skinner.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay, I like that. I like that. Uh My mister
Skinner got his technically got his first start. We saw
him in a few episodes as a dentist on Seinfeld.
Then he went on hold on that can you.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Can?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
You let me build? Then he became Malcolm's father, and
then his career really skyrocketed when he was the lead
as Walter White on Breaking Bad and Ah zord On
not my zord On, but he was or on Brian Cranston.
(10:44):
You gotta let me build it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gonna build.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I gotta always build, I always build, I always build.
Their lego pieces. You gotta let me stack my bricks.
Brian Cranston versus Vince vaughn As.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I'm a slasher of prices, of prices, leslie till I
could not go to another Well, hold on, what are.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You looking for, Bud?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I was looking for my fancy dice tower to roll
this d twenty to figure out who is gonna You can't.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You grab my twenty?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Those are so no, no, there's well, I know I
could don't play with my bros.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Diyes, I am okay. So one through ten for tabs
and eleven through twenty are because I can't pick, Like,
they're both like so good.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Betty Rolls a one, that's a ten.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Ben's vaughn.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Ice are wrong. Brian Cranston is so much rolls tonight.
I mean these are weighted their metal dice. I'm I'm
bewarding this. My pick is way better. My pick is
Brian Cranston is way better.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I mean, like honestly, I can't. I can't say either
one would be better than the other one because they
are both equally so good for that role.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Like yeah Brian Cranston.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah, but Vince Vaughan has the dry comedy aspect. Well,
I mean he mad, yeah, but I'm also still trying
to fight for my But you chose you chose you've
ever seen Brian Cranston just in person being Brian Cranston.
The next one, the gentleman gets to pick. I will
(12:39):
one of you get to introduce your more dice.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
It's cheating. That was completely is because again mine are
out of order. Dolorous, Oh, we might have the same
one for this, I really do.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I don't think we do.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I chose a female.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well, of course, who is I'm chose a female. Well,
Dolores is a female, but well she's this is trans.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I chose Caitlyn Jenner.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
No, fuck that, it's not a female anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I know.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
That's transphobic.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I don't care. She's currently in the mc U as
Agatha Harkness.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I almost chose her.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's She's she's been. She's in one of my favorite
found footage movies, The Visit. It's I chose Katherine hank.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I chose Katherine Hanky comedy gold in the female realm.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Oh absolutely, plus the ages match up. You know, I
almost almost she was my second pick.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Would you do pick Kate McKinnon. Nope, that's a shock. Nope,
it's either Kate McKinnon or no.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
It is not very close though. She was on SNL
there it is. She was on SNL. Who is ready
a j Yeah? My pick for Dolores. She's homely, she's homeless, homely.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Oh, she's a homie.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I'm gonna quit right now. I'm just gonna I'm gonna
walk away. So my Dolores is Rachel Dratch. Oh. Yeah,
she's funny.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
She asked Adam Sandler if she could go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Exactly. She's not pretty, but she is pretty in a way.
But she's homely and she makes really weird, uncomfortable jokes.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Mike, what was your pick again? Catherine Hans, Dean Martin's
ex wife.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Who that's what's popping up? No, that's so funny. I'm
trying to figure.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Out not that Catherine Hahn Agatha and Catherine Hahn in.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Uh according to uh uh Scarlet Witch uh step brothers,
she was she was the.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, Adam Scott step brothers.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, definitely going to be Agatha. For sure,
it's gonna be Katherine.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Un I knew that one was a no brainer. I
knew though, but.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
The way I was trying to spell it was a
completely different way. And that's why I was popping up.
Is Dean Martin's X wife. I was like, that can't
be right.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I think she's famously dead. I was like, you really
are going for some She could play one of the
bodies Dean Martin's Catherine Hawk could play one of the
dead bodies Donald.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
She can be.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Cameos Skeleton number four.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
She's a cameo.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Oh that's the other cameo.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It's Dean Martin's wife, one of them.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Next up, Constable Frank Butterman.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I love this one too. I'm really happy with mine.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I'm extremely happy with mine.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Uh, it's your goal, it's your turn to go first.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
My Frank Butterman is played by the one, the only,
John lyth Gow.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Same same, John lyth Gow. Yeah, same.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Same.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I was gonna I was gonna Dick doctor Dick Solomon himself. Yeah,
uh and who else? Yeah, John Lythgow one.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
And that is the only right answer for that, honestly, Yeah,
really is.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
A long time I know since Aaron.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Oh. John Lithgow was like, if it's not John Lithgow,
then don't fucking do it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Okay, So depending on the last two, AJ get a
character from Hot Fuzz ready that we have to recast
immediately on the spot, Okay, at the end, at the
very end, all right. Next up is Danny Butteman. Who
is your Danny oh Man.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You know a lot of people know that my Danny
started out as a pretty well known stand up comic. Uh,
he doesn't really do stand up much anymore. Once uh,
he got cast in the Hangover trilogy. I almost chose
his career fucking exploded. I went with Zach Gallis.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I almost went with Zach galifan Akis, but it's too
old for me trying to keep it in the same timeline.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But yeah, well it wouldn't have I don't know if
it's the same time, but yeah, I went his style,
like me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
If it was like back in seven when it came out, yeaheah.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah yeah yeah, But today though, I'm I mean I
almost almost what was that almost? Like he was my
choice and then I found somebody.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Else, So I'm just gonna cut him and Nick Froster
about the same age too.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, my choice for Danny Butterman, he is literally like
funny on all spectrums. He's he's funny in whatever he does.
I honestly don't know him to play a serious part.
(18:49):
Adam Divine from Workaholics, I hate that guy. I think
he's funny.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I think he tries too hard.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I think he's funny. It's like, I think he could
play a dumb a dumb He's like he plays a
dumb character. Yes, every movie, every show, whatever he plays,
he is so fucking dumb, and I think he could
play a brilliant Danny Butterman. But he also also has
to be able to play off of who are Nicholas is?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Though? Yeah, but I think, and that's how I chose
my Nicholas. And no, it's not Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper.
Although Bradley Cooper's Jack. I could see Bradley Cooper as
Nicholas Angel. Yeah, but he's because he's funny and he's jacked.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Bradley Cooper.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Stone.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Like it comes down to kind of the same between
Kranston and Vaughan is that it it comes down to
like kind of two different not two totally different styles
of how you would play him. But each of those
actors will bring a different element of acting to the table,
and Adam Divine and Zach Alpin definitely would be in
that same boat. Yeah, And it's it's hard, it's hard
(20:05):
to pick which one would be better.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Are you gonna run?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I'm just gonna go with Zach because I think it
would be a little bit more towards what I would
want to say. But it's like a fifty one forty
nine kind of a thing. Like on another day I
might sit here and say Adam Divine.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Right, yeah, like like if one couldn't do it, the
other would be a very close second kind of a thing.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Well it's yeah, yeah, like like you know, like it's
just so fifty one forty nine, And on another day
it could be flip flop and I would say no,
Adam Devine. It's like like today I would say Zach on.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Like if you've seen something that made you laugh, yeah
with Adam Devine or something that made Zach Gallifanakis make
you laugh, or kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
The only thing I don't like about Adam Divine is
he tries in real life, he tries to be who
he is on screen.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
He's got a little bit of that to him, for sure,
and that it's like a truly like relatable character thing
that he does, and he just does it naturally, so
like more like power to him. Zach's you know a
little bit more seasoned in that field in that yeah
season and like classically trained, you know, and has like
stand up and has like a whole like bigger resume
(21:27):
than what he does, even though like Adam Devine's resume
is stacked it is, you know, he just has maybe
just a little bit more in his resumes to bring
a different view of how he would bring that character.
But I could see Adam Divine being like, you know,
he was that kid kind of like I was, who
was like obsessed with action movies when I was a
kid and could quote anything and everything about a ton
of action movies and like you've never seen bad boys too, Like,
(21:50):
you know, I would be that guy, and I could
see Adam being that guy. I could see Zach being
that guy. If Zach was kind of like the hangover
like kind of like definitely a little little tistick for sure, Yeah,
you know, like reason with that tism baby, like definitely
on that but like adores you like at the same time.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, surprisingly that we almost had the exact same.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I think you both really sold me on Adam Divine though.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I mean, if you watch I could see a lot
of his stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's just who could you see? Like, who kind of
crushes you over that line? Just a hair.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I took actors within the same age range in two
thousand and seven, yeah, and just shifted it to today.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That's what I did.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
But Zach galifan Akis is like pushing almost fifty.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, Like I said, him and Nick are pretty much
like in the same.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Age right, So that's why I chose. I personally chose
Adam Divine is because I think he's age he's a
young cop.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Yeah, he's a.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Young police officer.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Try these pants on, see if they fit. If you
took your cast in two thousand and seven, and then
my cast is like the hot fuss.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Too, right, maybe two thousand and eight. Mine would be babies.
My at least a couple of them. Okay, yeah, would
be babies, yeah right, not most of them.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But Sergeant Angel, Sergeant.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Nicholas Angle take a Lotle desires my go.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Take it away.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
So I went with a super I mean, I've only
known him from one movie, and I don't like this movie.
But when I looked at him and I've seen him,
I knew he could do the dry comedy that Nicholas
was able to play.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Being serious, but the way he's being serious is absolutely
That's exactly what I did.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So my Nicholas angel Is John Header.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Napoleon Dynamite and Dynamite.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Okay, I did because I think he could pull off
the I'm law and floorforcement like look at me, I'm
I'm the law. Pay attention.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I've only seen him, I've only seen him in two movies.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But I'm also super fucking dry. But I can be
funny but dry funny until you catch the funny that
the like Napoleon Dynamite, Like, ah, this is a funny,
but it's a dry funny and exactly why I picked him.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Napoleon Dynamite and The Benchwarmers are the only two movies
I've seen him, but I love them both. That's why
I love his performance.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's why I picked him.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I chose well. He was in one episode of Parks
and rec as a doctor. He was in hot Rod
driving a red Camaro. Babe, wait babe, no babe, he
was Lego back man. I went with will Arnett. Will
(25:04):
Arnett again, trying to keep that same age between Zach
and between Danny and Nicholas.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
So you went with an older like if it was
a Hot Fuzz two ten years, twenty years later, twelve
years later.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
But I but I tried to like match that comedic style.
I looked at Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz and I thought,
who could who's the closest Now that could really be that?
And my brain went, Will Arnette is the game.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It is a good pick because Will Larnette is a
fucking douchebag, but he could also be funny.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
He's a dick. Yeah, but even though he's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
But do what I said, Nick, Nicholas Angel really wasn't
a dick. He wasn't meaning to be a dick.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
He was stuck up, well, not a dick, but he
was stuck up.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
No, he was just he was He was a robot.
I am a robot. Yeah, he was stuck all right.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Will Arnette versus Napoleon Dynamite Batman versus Napoleon Dynamite, well,
Lego Batman.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
John Header.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I was really hoping one of you was gonna say
Andy Samberg, but then again, it's basically who he was
on Brooklyn nine nine.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So yeah, done, Nah Brooklyn nine nine. He had a
little bit of the chism, a little bit Terry.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, not Terry Crews. Terry Crews would have been one
of the andies. Oh god, either one either either no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
He'd be the the constable guy, who is that? What's
your favorite Sunday?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
He would he would, Oh, okay, I know you're talking
about the glasses.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
That would be Terry Crews. What's your perfect Sunday?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Why perfect Sunday? Eating yogurt and lifting weights and showing
my muscles. That's what Terry Crews would do. I just
want to sit in front of a gym rror and
look at my muscle.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Terry Crews do, all right. So the winner for this
one's gonna be Will Arnett for sure.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Why.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I would love to see him as Nicola Dandel. I
think it would be so goddamn good, and I think
it would be able to portray so well, and he
would do the character a lot of justice. And he
has so much comedic timing and understanding of comedy like
that character needs to have, but in a way to
(27:30):
where you can play it that way where it's like
so stuck up that it's hilarious. I think will our
Net could definitely do it, and John hitter has has
like a different style of it is a little bit
more dry, and like both of them can have dry.
But I think while our Nett is better at executing
the product that I want to see.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Yeah, I think next time, I'm just gonna choose actors
regardless of the age. I mean, because I literally thought
it was made can get in today's timeline it is
same age. Okay, so if Nicholas Angel was in his
early thirties, but Will Learnette is pushing fifty, like what
(28:10):
the fuck? Well, and Zach galavian Akis is pushing fifan.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I just, I just I just tried to match comedic styles.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I know, but I thought it was hot fuzz today,
not hot fuzz fifteen years later.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
That's I mean, I well, I that's how I did it.
I tried like if it came out today, but I
wanted to match comedic styles too.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I remember that one.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Okay, I thought I thought it was just uh uh
like American actors, like how would you like recast American
actress kind of a thing?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, that was that was that was the main point.
That was the main point.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
All right, here we go. Fuck?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Are you upset that you have to drink tequila?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Tequila?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I'm gonna throw up? You got this?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
No? No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, I don't me to hold your phone for you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Nope, because here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Got some Mexico city piss.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
It's Margaritaville liked.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Fuck, I hate tequila.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I thought you said it was a banana.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
No, that's the tequila bananas right there.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I fucking oh that's right, I'll time.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I didna. It came out my nose and I almost
threw up.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
In solidarity, I will mix the two and shoot it.
Oh my god, that's pepper, So you don't have to
mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Nope, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Do you want me to mix the two and shoot
it now? In solidarity? I think she's upset.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
This is awful.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Stony made my wife cry. I don't appreciate.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I'm not crying.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I'm joking.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm trying not to vomit right now.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, it's behind you.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I ain't a bitch.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Only puke on Mother's Day and then outside for two hours.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Well you're a mother today, that's true. You. She she
got She was so hungover that she slept in the
backyard on Sunday. I had to.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
I'm gonna tell you this, if you puked on yourself,
it wouldn't be a terrible thing, because you are the
trash can and that kind of is where you direct
puke to go to. That's true, so it would be
admirable if you would puke.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Actually, I figured out how to throw up now and
not piss on myself.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Sit on the toilet. Crowd does it sit on the toilet?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
To sit on the toilet and puke in a bag?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Who do you think you are? Me at seventeen years old?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
No, and I was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I'm not gonna ship in the floor events in our floor.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
It's goes, well, what a.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Ship in our floor?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Vents?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't want you to shit in our don't want too.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Literally, So Gunner comes in on Mother's Day and I'm
like vodka hungover, as in, like, I just drank two
bottles of vodka because no one else wanted to drink with. Well,
they didn't drink like I thought they were gonna drink,
but they do D and D campaign's right. Everybody was like, yeah,
watermelon slushies. I was like sweet, I'm gonna make them.
(31:11):
They had like one glass apiece had made like a
gallon worth of fucking watermelon slushies with watermelon vodka and
real watermelon and so uh. The next morning, I woke
up and I'm like, oh god, I feel so bad.
Gunner runs into the room and he hugs me and
he's like, mom, happy Mother's Day. And he smells like
(31:33):
bath and body works cheaplane like axe body spray, super
hungover and like very perfume.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Me.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I said, I'm gonna go outside. So I went outside.
I said, I'm gonna get a blanket and a couch pillow.
So I just you know, in our backyard, you know,
the sidewalk in the middle. I chose the hold on.
We almost done, okay, fine, on the right hand side
of the deck. I put a blanket there with a pillow,
and I just laid down. I just laid down.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Okay, I get a ticket, nap, I did.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I did that well. I wasn't trying to nap. And
then like I laid down for ten, ten fifteen minutes,
and I'm like, you know what, pretty sure if I
throw up, I'm gonna feel a lot better. So I
went back inside and I puked, and then I came
back outside. I'm like, I'm just gonna lay here in
the shade where it's warm and it's pretty and there's
fresh air and I don't have to smell cheap cologne,
(32:33):
and uh, just die for about an hour. And then
my mom text me. She's like, church is over, I'm
coming over. So I went back inside. I'm like, I
get the LASAGNI, you're ready. Mom's coming over in an hour.
And I went back outside and slept. I slept for
two hours outside. My neighbors thought I was dead. They
(32:55):
thought I had died. Both of the dogs were curled
up against me. I was sleeping on Briands butt and
Lucy was in the curve of my legs, and it
was so amazing. Oh my god, I want to do
that so badly. I'm probably gonna do that next Saturday.
I have a forty weekend. I have a fortay weekend
(33:15):
CEO on Friday, and I said, fuck this job, I'm
taking a day.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
I took Wednesday off. I should have taken honestly, Thursday
and Friday, but I went in yesterday to get some
stuff caught up, and then I took today off Bravery's graduation,
so I could have like a three day weekend plus
an extra day during the week, and I didn't realize
how much I needed it. It was like really good
decision to make. Like on Wednesday, I was like, oh
my God, like, let's go in the pool. It's hang out.
(33:41):
I was like, let's fucking go and damn taking taking
that that FTO, the flex time off, because you salaried
way there than.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yoh, mine's not to PTO. Yeah. So yeah, I've got
I've got next Friday as a PTO, then I've got
my normal Saturday Sunday, and then we got Memorial Day
on Monday. I have three days and I am super
fucking pumped because Jesus fucking Christ, after the past six
(34:10):
weeks that I've had with Derby and PGA and all
the bullshit, I am in dire need of days off.
I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna drink at least three of
the four.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Days, so hell yeah, yeah, you hit me too. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I'll.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah, good on you.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
All right, must be nice, it will be That's gonna
do it. For this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Welcome back to Tapper and recast.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, it's been a while. Thank you guys for hanging out.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Join us in two weeks when we do another movie.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
We figure out a movie. Hopefully you guys help us
pick another movie. Please vote, I think I have one
in the chamber. Your vote matters on this At least
your vote matters.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
On this one. I'm gonna hit him up and see
if he wants to recast nineteen ninety five Mighty Morphin
Power Rangers the movie.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Okay, who are you talking?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
He suggested it, Brian Bryan. Okay, it was his idea, patron,
but he did dumb and he helped us ruin Dumb
and Dumber.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah he did. We totally ruined theumb and Um, I fucked.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
We fucked that movie all.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Oh, it was so bad.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
We made it completely unfunny. I basically put everyone who's
on Saturday Night Live now. Oh no, it was good.
If you want it, we can made it woke as fuck.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah, it was good. So thank you guys again for
joining us on this episode of Taper Mariecast. Thank you
to our handsome guest judge for joining us.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Thank you for having me. It's been great. Why don't
you regret? Go listen, hateful nome, go listen, Grace tap room,
go listen.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
You're already listening. That's why you're on Patreon. Hi, mom,
fuck you beat fuck you Tom Brady, Mom, I love you.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I'm the favorite bitch. Hi I am. No. Make sure
you tell your friends about the Patreon of how fun
it is and we're funny. You can get some cool
shit for just a dollar. I mean it's a dollar.
You get this for a buck, You get this one
for a buck, one dollar, one dollar. I don't know
(36:17):
what it is in pounds, but cool, fifty cents probably, yeah,
something like that.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
We'll see you next time on Tapper Recast. Patrons, we
love you, check you lator Bye
My patreons, Patrons, patrons, all of you. You're awesome, Thank you, description.
Welcome back to a After a long hiatus of Tapper Maricast,
we have returned. Tab is pushing the table all over
the studio to reach what is.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That Margaritaville gold Blue Agave tequila.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well there's two shot glasses right there.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
One that is taking banana liqueur.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's what the loser banana tequila. I like artificial banana.
We are americanizing. Uh. The episode for the week theme
two thousand and seven's hot Fuzz. You know the drill? Yeah,
Roy Uh Stoned is judging us as he always does,
(02:03):
but always judges us. That's neither here nor there, but
he still loves us. Stone. Welcome back to Patreon Always.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I almost didn't turn myself off mute there, so when
you said I was judging us, I went always. But
you could have heard.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
It's Patreon. People are giving us money for this one,
and we thank them and love them so much. If
you're not subscribed to our patreon you.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I have something like that too, except I call it
only fans, same thing, same.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Thing, Patreon, just what the French say.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
No, Patreon is what you listen to only fans as
you get to see so you can patreon. Well, I mean,
you can listen to someone's butt, but you can watch.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
You can do both. You can listen and watch my
bele be bleached. It is a popular thing on only fans.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Do you want to see what my butthole does when
I fart? Or do you just want to hear the fart?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Not your book? But no, no, no one wants to
see that or hear that or see that.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Sometimes I don't want to see my own bottle.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Thank god I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Have to see it.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, anyway, hot fuzz.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Hot fuzz title because you're bush spear, spear, it's not
good beer.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Title of my ex girlfriend's sex tape. Who boo?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
How much juice do I have?
Speaker 3 (03:30):
I'm good now that's the title of your sex tape?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
How much juice do I have?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
How much juice you get?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I have enough?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
One round.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
My dick's name is o J. The juice is loose,
and it only goes after white bitches, and it moved
to Florida.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
To not have to pay, and the club doesn't fit.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And it's dead.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah it is now yep. I had to think about
that because OJ is dead.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Ha ha fuck OJ he died and I find his death.
He did kill her. He killed that. To quote Dave Chappelle,
he fucking did that ship. Yeah, he fucking did that ship.
All right.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So for the those of you listening to this Patreon,
go back and listen to hot Fuzz, or if you well,
since you are part of the Patreon, you can listen
to it first and then listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Or subscribe to AJ's Only Fans and see his Hot
fuzz a Mondays and Thursdays, Devin p and Eastern ten Pacific.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
I'm not gonna lie after like after watching that that
video from Shane gillis from Gill and Keys, but he's
like the only fans Dad, Like.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
It's like, I want under you like that PS five
you got? Do you think that it's not sure that
I got you?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
You're like, damn, Like it makes it makes you wonder
a little bit. You're like, I wonder how much one
could make.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I can't wait for Tires to premiere on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Oh my god, it's gonna be so good.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh my god. All right, well, we are americanizing all
American cast a British buddy cop comedy and it's gonna
be fun, and I hope that I don't lose.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Always fun.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh, they're only fun if I win.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You have lost the past three.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I won the last one actually, yeah, because you
tricked me with that triple I p A.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
So the next one, no, No, we've had more since then,
but we've had a couple.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well, it was it was a lake karma.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The ABV is not that bad on these is that?
Is that how she checked you?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
The I p A.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
She tricked me because it's a fucking I p A
and he hates them, and I expecting him to fucking
crack in the.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Fucker, dude. I shotgun the fuck out of that triple I.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Part about that one is most people don't realize that
B word was on the other side of the screen,
like where you are, And not only was I going,
B word was also going.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It was for the Christmas the Christmas one else. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, so I'm going, And that's all you hear in
the video is me going, But you can't hear B word.
But he's doing it opposite of me.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So he's playing actual vomit sounds on his soundboard.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
No, he was actually underneath someone else's desk. That's where
he does a podcast from when he disturs.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's funny because he is subscribed to our Patreon and
he will hear this, and it's not it's not when
he comes up that he hits the desk.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
It's just him trying to move in general, because it's.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
A tight fit. It's not when he comes up. It's
when the cup goes down. It's when he.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
He really has like no shame about how big is.
I'm over here like, man, I'm getting bigger. I'm feeling shameful.
And he's over there like I'm fucking loving life.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
B Ward's living it up, living it up, living the dream.
He's living his best life. You gotta respect that, even
if it is Bee where I guess.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
I mean, you gotta have some kind of a condition
being a fucking Cowboys fan.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Well, that explains a lot. Oh, or if you're friends with.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Jay, he's a true glutton, they say glutton for Punishman.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That explains his friendship with Jake.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
They really are like that odd couple, like like Walter
Matthow and uh the other guy in that movie, John Lemon.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, like they really are.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
It's so fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It's great two.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Thousand and seven Hot Fuzz. So for those of you
in the Patreon who have not seen it, Mikayla.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
What movie hasn't she seen?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Mikla, why haven't you seen it?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It's It's sad. But we introduced her to Seana the
Dead and as we're watching it, Gunner.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
The entire ass Scream franchise, the.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Entire Scream franchise. Yes, so we're trying to introduce her
to movies when we get to see her. But she
does need to watch Hot Fuzz and World's end with
us with us because it's better with us.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
She was she like, only allowed to watch a Little
House in the Prairie when she grew up.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
P Yes, yes, yes, yes, I can attest to this
because I was there a masterpiece theater PBS k e
T The Red Green Show. Yes, Red Green Show. Absolutely, Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
We would think.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I see myself like younger me and her growing up.
It's kind of scary. So, uh, let's get the show
on the road.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well, who's up first? Who's our first cast?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
You have it in order and I do, Manager's office,
mister Skinner.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Mister Skinner's up first, Skinner, Ladies, first. Sure, Okay, go ahead,
I love mine. I do too. AJ is gonna jack
off when he Here's who I got, Jesus Christ because
he's this guy.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Are you ready? You ready?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, I got the lotion.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Okay, my mister Skinner, Vince.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Vaughn, Okay, you wait, no build up to it, just
straight to the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Vince Vaughn because I think he can play a dick
at the same time as being funny. Even though Skinner,
I mean, he was dry funny. That's why I think
Fence Wand would play a very good Skinner.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay, I like that. I like that. Uh My mister
Skinner got his technically got his first start. We saw
him in a few episodes as a dentist on Seinfeld.
Then he went on hold on that can you.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Can?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
You let me build? Then he became Malcolm's father, and
then his career really skyrocketed when he was the lead
as Walter White on Breaking Bad and Ah zord On
not my zord On, but he was or on Brian Cranston.
(10:44):
You gotta let me build it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gonna build.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I gotta always build, I always build, I always build.
Their lego pieces. You gotta let me stack my bricks.
Brian Cranston versus Vince vaughn As.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I'm a slasher of prices, of prices, leslie till I
could not go to another Well, hold on, what are.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You looking for, Bud?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I was looking for my fancy dice tower to roll
this d twenty to figure out who is gonna You can't.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You grab my twenty?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Those are so no, no, there's well, I know I
could don't play with my bros.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Diyes, I am okay. So one through ten for tabs
and eleven through twenty are because I can't pick, Like,
they're both like so good.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Betty Rolls a one, that's a ten.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Ben's vaughn.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Ice are wrong. Brian Cranston is so much rolls tonight.
I mean these are weighted their metal dice. I'm I'm
bewarding this. My pick is way better. My pick is
Brian Cranston is way better.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I mean, like honestly, I can't. I can't say either
one would be better than the other one because they
are both equally so good for that role.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Like yeah Brian Cranston.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah, but Vince Vaughan has the dry comedy aspect. Well,
I mean he mad, yeah, but I'm also still trying
to fight for my But you chose you chose you've
ever seen Brian Cranston just in person being Brian Cranston.
The next one, the gentleman gets to pick. I will
(12:39):
one of you get to introduce your more dice.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
It's cheating. That was completely is because again mine are
out of order. Dolorous, Oh, we might have the same
one for this, I really do.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I don't think we do.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I chose a female.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well, of course, who is I'm chose a female. Well,
Dolores is a female, but well she's this is trans.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I chose Caitlyn Jenner.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
No, fuck that, it's not a female anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I know.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
That's transphobic.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I don't care. She's currently in the mc U as
Agatha Harkness.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I almost chose her.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's She's she's been. She's in one of my favorite
found footage movies, The Visit. It's I chose Katherine hank.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I chose Katherine Hanky comedy gold in the female realm.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Oh absolutely, plus the ages match up. You know, I
almost almost she was my second pick.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Would you do pick Kate McKinnon. Nope, that's a shock. Nope,
it's either Kate McKinnon or no.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
It is not very close though. She was on SNL
there it is. She was on SNL. Who is ready
a j Yeah? My pick for Dolores. She's homely, she's homeless, homely.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Oh, she's a homie.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I'm gonna quit right now. I'm just gonna I'm gonna
walk away. So my Dolores is Rachel Dratch. Oh. Yeah,
she's funny.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
She asked Adam Sandler if she could go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Exactly. She's not pretty, but she is pretty in a way.
But she's homely and she makes really weird, uncomfortable jokes.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Mike, what was your pick again? Catherine Hans, Dean Martin's
ex wife.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Who that's what's popping up? No, that's so funny. I'm
trying to figure.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Out not that Catherine Hahn Agatha and Catherine Hahn in.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Uh according to uh uh Scarlet Witch uh step brothers,
she was she was the.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, Adam Scott step brothers.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, definitely going to be Agatha. For sure,
it's gonna be Katherine.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Un I knew that one was a no brainer. I
knew though, but.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
The way I was trying to spell it was a
completely different way. And that's why I was popping up.
Is Dean Martin's X wife. I was like, that can't
be right.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I think she's famously dead. I was like, you really
are going for some She could play one of the
bodies Dean Martin's Catherine Hawk could play one of the
dead bodies Donald.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
She can be.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Cameos Skeleton number four.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
She's a cameo.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Oh that's the other cameo.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
It's Dean Martin's wife, one of them.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Next up, Constable Frank Butterman.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I love this one too. I'm really happy with mine.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I'm extremely happy with mine.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Uh, it's your goal, it's your turn to go first.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
My Frank Butterman is played by the one, the only,
John lyth Gow.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Same same, John lyth Gow. Yeah, same.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Same.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I was gonna I was gonna Dick doctor Dick Solomon himself. Yeah,
uh and who else? Yeah, John Lythgow one.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
And that is the only right answer for that, honestly, Yeah,
really is.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
A long time I know since Aaron.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Oh. John Lithgow was like, if it's not John Lithgow,
then don't fucking do it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Okay, So depending on the last two, AJ get a
character from Hot Fuzz ready that we have to recast
immediately on the spot, Okay, at the end, at the
very end, all right. Next up is Danny Butteman. Who
is your Danny oh Man.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You know a lot of people know that my Danny
started out as a pretty well known stand up comic. Uh,
he doesn't really do stand up much anymore. Once uh,
he got cast in the Hangover trilogy. I almost chose
his career fucking exploded. I went with Zach Gallis.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I almost went with Zach galifan Akis, but it's too
old for me trying to keep it in the same timeline.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
But yeah, well it wouldn't have I don't know if
it's the same time, but yeah, I went his style,
like me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
If it was like back in seven when it came out, yeaheah.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yeah yeah yeah, But today though, I'm I mean I
almost almost what was that almost? Like he was my
choice and then I found somebody.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Else, So I'm just gonna cut him and Nick Froster
about the same age too.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, my choice for Danny Butterman, he is literally like
funny on all spectrums. He's he's funny in whatever he does.
I honestly don't know him to play a serious part.
(18:49):
Adam Divine from Workaholics, I hate that guy. I think
he's funny.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I think he tries too hard.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I think he's funny. It's like, I think he could
play a dumb a dumb He's like he plays a
dumb character. Yes, every movie, every show, whatever he plays,
he is so fucking dumb, and I think he could
play a brilliant Danny Butterman. But he also also has
to be able to play off of who are Nicholas is?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Though? Yeah, but I think, and that's how I chose
my Nicholas. And no, it's not Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper.
Although Bradley Cooper's Jack. I could see Bradley Cooper as
Nicholas Angel. Yeah, but he's because he's funny and he's jacked.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Bradley Cooper.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Stone.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Like it comes down to kind of the same between
Kranston and Vaughan is that it it comes down to
like kind of two different not two totally different styles
of how you would play him. But each of those
actors will bring a different element of acting to the table,
and Adam Divine and Zach Alpin definitely would be in
that same boat. Yeah, And it's it's hard, it's hard
(20:05):
to pick which one would be better.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Are you gonna run?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I'm just gonna go with Zach because I think it
would be a little bit more towards what I would
want to say. But it's like a fifty one forty
nine kind of a thing. Like on another day I
might sit here and say Adam Divine.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Right, yeah, like like if one couldn't do it, the
other would be a very close second kind of a thing.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Well it's yeah, yeah, like like you know, like it's
just so fifty one forty nine, And on another day
it could be flip flop and I would say no,
Adam Devine. It's like like today I would say Zach on.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Like if you've seen something that made you laugh, yeah
with Adam Devine or something that made Zach Gallifanakis make
you laugh, or kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
The only thing I don't like about Adam Divine is
he tries in real life, he tries to be who
he is on screen.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
He's got a little bit of that to him, for sure,
and that it's like a truly like relatable character thing
that he does, and he just does it naturally, so
like more like power to him. Zach's you know a
little bit more seasoned in that field in that yeah
season and like classically trained, you know, and has like
stand up and has like a whole like bigger resume
(21:27):
than what he does, even though like Adam Devine's resume
is stacked it is, you know, he just has maybe
just a little bit more in his resumes to bring
a different view of how he would bring that character.
But I could see Adam Divine being like, you know,
he was that kid kind of like I was, who
was like obsessed with action movies when I was a
kid and could quote anything and everything about a ton
of action movies and like you've never seen bad boys too, Like,
(21:50):
you know, I would be that guy, and I could
see Adam being that guy. I could see Zach being
that guy. If Zach was kind of like the hangover
like kind of like definitely a little little tistick for sure, Yeah,
you know, like reason with that tism baby, like definitely
on that but like adores you like at the same time.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, surprisingly that we almost had the exact same.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I think you both really sold me on Adam Divine though.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I mean, if you watch I could see a lot
of his stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's just who could you see? Like, who kind of
crushes you over that line? Just a hair.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I took actors within the same age range in two
thousand and seven, yeah, and just shifted it to today.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
That's what I did.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
But Zach galifan Akis is like pushing almost fifty.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, Like I said, him and Nick are pretty much
like in the same.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Age right, So that's why I chose. I personally chose
Adam Divine is because I think he's age he's a
young cop.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Yeah, he's a.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Young police officer.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Try these pants on, see if they fit. If you
took your cast in two thousand and seven, and then
my cast is like the hot fuss.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Too, right, maybe two thousand and eight. Mine would be babies.
My at least a couple of them. Okay, yeah, would
be babies, yeah right, not most of them.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But Sergeant Angel, Sergeant.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Nicholas Angle take a Lotle desires my go.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Take it away.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
So I went with a super I mean, I've only
known him from one movie, and I don't like this movie.
But when I looked at him and I've seen him,
I knew he could do the dry comedy that Nicholas
was able to play.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Being serious, but the way he's being serious is absolutely
That's exactly what I did.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So my Nicholas angel Is John Header.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Napoleon Dynamite and Dynamite.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Okay, I did because I think he could pull off
the I'm law and floorforcement like look at me, I'm
I'm the law. Pay attention.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I've only seen him, I've only seen him in two movies.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But I'm also super fucking dry. But I can be
funny but dry funny until you catch the funny that
the like Napoleon Dynamite, Like, ah, this is a funny,
but it's a dry funny and exactly why I picked him.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Napoleon Dynamite and The Benchwarmers are the only two movies
I've seen him, but I love them both. That's why
I love his performance.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's why I picked him.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I chose well. He was in one episode of Parks
and rec as a doctor. He was in hot Rod
driving a red Camaro. Babe, wait babe, no babe, he
was Lego back man. I went with will Arnett. Will
(25:04):
Arnett again, trying to keep that same age between Zach
and between Danny and Nicholas.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
So you went with an older like if it was
a Hot Fuzz two ten years, twenty years later, twelve
years later.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
But I but I tried to like match that comedic style.
I looked at Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz and I thought,
who could who's the closest Now that could really be that?
And my brain went, Will Arnette is the game.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It is a good pick because Will Larnette is a
fucking douchebag, but he could also be funny.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
He's a dick. Yeah, but even though he's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
But do what I said, Nick, Nicholas Angel really wasn't
a dick. He wasn't meaning to be a dick.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
He was stuck up, well, not a dick, but he
was stuck up.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
No, he was just he was He was a robot.
I am a robot. Yeah, he was stuck all right.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Will Arnette versus Napoleon Dynamite Batman versus Napoleon Dynamite, well,
Lego Batman.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
John Header.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I was really hoping one of you was gonna say
Andy Samberg, but then again, it's basically who he was
on Brooklyn nine nine.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
So yeah, done, Nah Brooklyn nine nine. He had a
little bit of the chism, a little bit Terry.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well, not Terry Crews. Terry Crews would have been one
of the andies. Oh god, either one either either no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
He'd be the the constable guy, who is that? What's
your favorite Sunday?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
He would he would, Oh, okay, I know you're talking
about the glasses.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
That would be Terry Crews. What's your perfect Sunday?
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Why perfect Sunday? Eating yogurt and lifting weights and showing
my muscles. That's what Terry Crews would do. I just
want to sit in front of a gym rror and
look at my muscle.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Terry Crews do, all right. So the winner for this
one's gonna be Will Arnett for sure.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Why.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I would love to see him as Nicola Dandel. I
think it would be so goddamn good, and I think
it would be able to portray so well, and he
would do the character a lot of justice. And he
has so much comedic timing and understanding of comedy like
that character needs to have, but in a way to
(27:30):
where you can play it that way where it's like
so stuck up that it's hilarious. I think will our
Net could definitely do it, and John hitter has has
like a different style of it is a little bit
more dry, and like both of them can have dry.
But I think while our Nett is better at executing
the product that I want to see.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Yeah, I think next time, I'm just gonna choose actors
regardless of the age. I mean, because I literally thought
it was made can get in today's timeline it is
same age. Okay, so if Nicholas Angel was in his
early thirties, but Will Learnette is pushing fifty, like what
(28:10):
the fuck? Well, and Zach galavian Akis is pushing fifan.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I just, I just I just tried to match comedic styles.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I know, but I thought it was hot fuzz today,
not hot fuzz fifteen years later.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
That's I mean, I well, I that's how I did it.
I tried like if it came out today, but I
wanted to match comedic styles too.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I remember that one.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Okay, I thought I thought it was just uh uh
like American actors, like how would you like recast American
actress kind of a thing?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Well, that was that was that was the main point.
That was the main point.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
All right, here we go. Fuck?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Are you upset that you have to drink tequila?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Tequila?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I'm gonna throw up? You got this?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
No? No, I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
No, I don't me to hold your phone for you.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Nope, because here we go.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Got some Mexico city piss.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
It's Margaritaville liked.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Fuck, I hate tequila.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I thought you said it was a banana.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
No, that's the tequila bananas right there.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I fucking oh that's right, I'll time.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
I didna. It came out my nose and I almost
threw up.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
In solidarity, I will mix the two and shoot it.
Oh my god, that's pepper, So you don't have to
mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Nope, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Do you want me to mix the two and shoot
it now? In solidarity? I think she's upset.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
This is awful.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Stony made my wife cry. I don't appreciate.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
I'm not crying.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I'm joking.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm trying not to vomit right now.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, it's behind you.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
I ain't a bitch.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Only puke on Mother's Day and then outside for two hours.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Well you're a mother today, that's true. You. She she
got She was so hungover that she slept in the
backyard on Sunday. I had to.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
I'm gonna tell you this, if you puked on yourself,
it wouldn't be a terrible thing, because you are the
trash can and that kind of is where you direct
puke to go to. That's true, so it would be
admirable if you would puke.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Actually, I figured out how to throw up now and
not piss on myself.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Sit on the toilet. Crowd does it sit on the toilet?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
To sit on the toilet and puke in a bag?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Who do you think you are? Me at seventeen years old?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
No, and I was seventeen.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I'm not gonna ship in the floor events in our floor.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
It's goes, well, what a.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Ship in our floor?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Vents?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't want you to shit in our don't want too.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Literally, So Gunner comes in on Mother's Day and I'm
like vodka hungover, as in, like, I just drank two
bottles of vodka because no one else wanted to drink with. Well,
they didn't drink like I thought they were gonna drink,
but they do D and D campaign's right. Everybody was like, yeah,
watermelon slushies. I was like sweet, I'm gonna make them.
(31:11):
They had like one glass apiece had made like a
gallon worth of fucking watermelon slushies with watermelon vodka and
real watermelon and so uh. The next morning, I woke
up and I'm like, oh god, I feel so bad.
Gunner runs into the room and he hugs me and
he's like, mom, happy Mother's Day. And he smells like
(31:33):
bath and body works cheaplane like axe body spray, super
hungover and like very perfume.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Me.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I said, I'm gonna go outside. So I went outside.
I said, I'm gonna get a blanket and a couch pillow.
So I just you know, in our backyard, you know,
the sidewalk in the middle. I chose the hold on.
We almost done, okay, fine, on the right hand side
of the deck. I put a blanket there with a pillow,
and I just laid down. I just laid down.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Okay, I get a ticket, nap, I did.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I did that well. I wasn't trying to nap. And
then like I laid down for ten, ten fifteen minutes,
and I'm like, you know what, pretty sure if I
throw up, I'm gonna feel a lot better. So I
went back inside and I puked, and then I came
back outside. I'm like, I'm just gonna lay here in
the shade where it's warm and it's pretty and there's
fresh air and I don't have to smell cheap cologne,
(32:33):
and uh, just die for about an hour. And then
my mom text me. She's like, church is over, I'm
coming over. So I went back inside. I'm like, I
get the LASAGNI, you're ready. Mom's coming over in an hour.
And I went back outside and slept. I slept for
two hours outside. My neighbors thought I was dead. They
(32:55):
thought I had died. Both of the dogs were curled
up against me. I was sleeping on Briands butt and
Lucy was in the curve of my legs, and it
was so amazing. Oh my god, I want to do
that so badly. I'm probably gonna do that next Saturday.
I have a forty weekend. I have a fortay weekend
(33:15):
CEO on Friday, and I said, fuck this job, I'm
taking a day.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
I took Wednesday off. I should have taken honestly, Thursday
and Friday, but I went in yesterday to get some
stuff caught up, and then I took today off Bravery's graduation,
so I could have like a three day weekend plus
an extra day during the week, and I didn't realize
how much I needed it. It was like really good
decision to make. Like on Wednesday, I was like, oh
my God, like, let's go in the pool. It's hang out.
(33:41):
I was like, let's fucking go and damn taking taking
that that FTO, the flex time off, because you salaried
way there than.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yoh, mine's not to PTO. Yeah. So yeah, I've got
I've got next Friday as a PTO, then I've got
my normal Saturday Sunday, and then we got Memorial Day
on Monday. I have three days and I am super
fucking pumped because Jesus fucking Christ, after the past six
(34:10):
weeks that I've had with Derby and PGA and all
the bullshit, I am in dire need of days off.
I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna drink at least three of
the four.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Days, so hell yeah, yeah, you hit me too. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I'll.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sunday.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah, good on you.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
All right, must be nice, it will be That's gonna
do it. For this episode.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Welcome back to Tapper and recast.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, it's been a while. Thank you guys for hanging out.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Join us in two weeks when we do another movie.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
We figure out a movie. Hopefully you guys help us
pick another movie. Please vote, I think I have one
in the chamber. Your vote matters on this At least
your vote matters.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
On this one. I'm gonna hit him up and see
if he wants to recast nineteen ninety five Mighty Morphin
Power Rangers the movie.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Okay, who are you talking?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
He suggested it, Brian Bryan. Okay, it was his idea, patron,
but he did dumb and he helped us ruin Dumb
and Dumber.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah he did. We totally ruined theumb and Um, I fucked.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
We fucked that movie all.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Oh, it was so bad.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
We made it completely unfunny. I basically put everyone who's
on Saturday Night Live now. Oh no, it was good.
If you want it, we can made it woke as fuck.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah, it was good. So thank you guys again for
joining us on this episode of Taper Mariecast. Thank you
to our handsome guest judge for joining us.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
Thank you for having me. It's been great. Why don't
you regret? Go listen, hateful nome, go listen, Grace tap room,
go listen.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
You're already listening. That's why you're on Patreon. Hi, mom,
fuck you beat fuck you Tom Brady, Mom, I love you.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I'm the favorite bitch. Hi I am. No. Make sure
you tell your friends about the Patreon of how fun
it is and we're funny. You can get some cool
shit for just a dollar. I mean it's a dollar.
You get this for a buck, You get this one
for a buck, one dollar, one dollar. I don't know
(36:17):
what it is in pounds, but cool, fifty cents probably, yeah,
something like that.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
We'll see you next time on Tapper Recast. Patrons, we
love you, check you lator Bye
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