September 7, 2022 • 46 mins
Rachel Allen’s New Book From Seed House Press
“Blessing Beyond Pass: Tender Medicine for Hard Times” is Rachel Allen’s new book. It is beautifully written and crafted to allow us to get under the surface and truly feel. Beyond the platitudes in general niceties of daily life, we can be shamed for feeling negative emotions. The daily barrage of negativity, anxiety, injustice, violence and marginalization of people can create a sense of rage, dispear, or hopeless. This book takes that head one.
Rachel Allen has built vast and inclusive community, She has served other’s through her yoga, song, workshops, out reach programs and various organizations. Rachel’s shares her experience on how the rage and frustration of injustices can be channeled. A different way to observe, discern and move through these hard times. A pathway to invite in curiosity and connection, while holding her own values and boundaries with gentle strength .
If you haven’t hopeless, angry, disempowered, marginalized, or traumatized, this is good medicine, for you and others. I enjoy you to get a few copies and share them with your friend. Blessing Beyond Pass: Tender Medicine for Hard Times is the Inaugural book release from Seed House Press, Go to YogaSong.net for more information about Rachel and her new book.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Josh Meeder (00:02):
Welcome to the great things, LLC podcast. I'm
your host, Josh Meeder. Welcome,listeners, today's podcast, I
get to share a story of someonewho I have just been absolutely
had a joy and pleasure ofgetting to know. I could take a
lot of time. I don't know ifthere's enough hours in the day
(00:22):
in this podcast to just kind ofgo over some of the stuff that
Rachel Allen has done and whoshe is and the community that
she's built. So let's, withoutfurther ado, I want to introduce
and welcome Rachel to thepodcast.
Rachel Allen (00:36):
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Josh Meeder (00:39):
Rachel leading up to this I was I was I've been
really struggling. I was like,how do you introduce what you've
done, because you've done a lot.
And one of the things that, youknow, we have taglines, but
yours really does kind of boilit down. So to merging music,
yoga and community. When youshare that with me. I'm like,
oh, yeah, that's, that's you.
(01:00):
But it's also much broader thanthat. So we're here today. And
one of the things that we'regoing to be talking about is
your book that has just beenreleased blessings beyond the
bypass tender medicine for hardtimes. So why don't you start
with sharing a little bit aboutyourself and you things you've
done to this point, and we'llget into how the book came in
(01:23):
and what this is for, for thesetimes that we all find ourselves
in?
Rachel Allen (01:27):
Right? Yeah, I always find it interesting. When
people ask what what I do in theworld, I always just laugh. And
my my sister Kelly, she lives inAustralia, and she works in the
sector of dealing with peoplethat like housing, she always
tells me I'm a musical socialworker, which of course, there's
no like, you know, credentialingfor that. But that's what she
(01:50):
calls me. And so I what, in anutshell, what what I what I
intend to do to all the spacesthat I show up is to be in
spaces with people where whereanything is possible, where the
potential for healing lies withthe potential for authenticity,
for for whatever is real, toshow up for that person and to
(02:14):
transform but perhaps, so a lotof the work that I do, I don't
show up with an agenda otherthan to be in the space feel
what's in the space? And how canwhat what, what is the best tool
that I could bring to respond tothe space that I'm in with
people. I do that in hospicework, I've done that for 18
years, I play the harp. So Iwork with people that are in any
(02:35):
phase of transition, in whichcould be somebody a year from
their transition, it could beduring their transition, it
could be with their family aspart of that or just that person
alone if they don't have family.
So I've done that work for 18years. I am a yoga teacher, I
bring music, it's infusedthroughout my practice. And a
(02:58):
lot of my practice is inpartnership with organizations
that serve different types ofcommunities. For example, I for
10 years, I've worked with ourrape crisis center and domestic
violence center to servesurvivors of trauma. I also come
into other spaces, such as statemental hospital, their forensic
(03:21):
lockdown unit and other spaceslike that, and and offer
practice as well as in mycommunity right now. I'm still
teaching outside, which isreally nice. It's more like a
public space where anybody cancome. And yeah, so I show up in
different places and spaces withpeople and hope to connect
through music through sharedpractice, and invite that that
(03:43):
sort of, like what everybodybrings to that energies is
equally important is what I'mbringing. So sort of, you know,
working with people in thosespaces in places. And as
Josh Meeder (03:59):
part of your work, a lot of it has been based
around trauma informed work,underserved in justices, and
really how that is woven intothe community and how they
community heal. So from whatI've learned from you, a lot of
it is this place of traumainformed health in healing and
(04:20):
growing.
Rachel Allen (04:21):
Right, right. Part of part of the experience of
trauma is not feeling that oneis worthy of care. Part of the
experience of trauma is is youknow, the absence of connection.
And so we don't heal in silosand when we can come alongside
(04:42):
people rather than come overpeople that come alongside
people. I really stronglybelieve that we that
pathologizing trauma is nothelpful. It's it's a normal
response of the central nervoussystem to keep ourselves alive.
When someone experiences trauma,you know, the way that their
(05:05):
nervous system responded a lotof times, especially if it's the
freeze response, there'sjudgement. So finding ways to to
support the integration ofsomebody's nervous system is is,
you know, even with with our ownpresence, you know, having that
awareness that each being hashas value because they exist,
(05:29):
not because of what they've doneor haven't done, but because
they are here. And so, you know,finding ways to integrate that
into how we are with people aspart of trauma informed care.
Josh Meeder (05:40):
And with the concept of trauma, especially
over the last few years, one,trauma is present, and so many
and if it's unaddressed, it canmanifest in a lot of different
ways. And trauma can be big orbig or small, in quotation
marks. But the reality is,whatever trauma is to that
person is big to that person andlearning how to meet. So over
(06:04):
the last few years with, withthe pandemic, with all the
unrest, both socially,environmentally, economically,
politically, it feels liketrauma has actually been infused
in daily life to a higher degreeblessings beyond the bypass is a
book that, in its title explainsa tender medicine for hard
(06:26):
times. These have been hardtimes in recent years. What was
the the impetus, or the thoughtthat created the spark for you
in creating this book?
Rachel Allen (06:36):
Sure. I think one of the things that shows up for
me often is sitting down anddeeply listening in, which is a
process called unitate. oflistening, like seeking to
connect into what's beyond thesurface noise that's present,
it's really loud, and to sit andreally deeply listen to, to what
(07:02):
are the needs that are present?
You know, and and what can Ipossibly, how can I possibly be
of service? How can I possiblybe of service I had created, I
had different people, mycommunity reached out to me over
COVID, and one was one of ourlocal health care systems. And
they were this is at a time whenlike, the emergency room, I
(07:25):
mean, that the COVID units wereoverflowing, the deaths were
really high. And, and I created,like just tools for health care
workers, like how you know, andhere they are in respirators
and, you know, but like, how canyou prep? How do you prepare for
something like that, to walkinto those types of situations,
and then you have to go home,you know, to your family. So, so
(07:48):
giving people, you know, some ofthe things that I offers, tools
are so simple, but people don'tknow how to access them. You
know, and I think this blessingsbeyond bypass, emerged from just
like, recognizing that all ofour experiences are so different
during this this time, all ofour Express experience is not
(08:09):
the same as somebody who's goingin and being in that
environment. But what can Ioffer to someone, I don't know
what their experience is like,but what can I offer that could
be a service. And so, so manypeople that I love, were really
hurting, including myself.
During that time, I had afriend, my neighbor, who was a
(08:32):
nurse in a long term skilledcare facility, and she actually
had to live up there for sixweeks, during the most intense
part of COVID. She loved herfamily for six weeks, to live
there. And so it was just sortof, you know, seeing the some of
the extraordinary things thatpeople were doing some of the
sacrifices and wanting to honorthat as well as as just seeing
(08:54):
that people were in need ofmedicine. And and when I say
medicine, I mean something thatcould reach them at the soul
level. And everything that wasup here that was the noise
wasn't even touching that. Sowanting to dive a little deeper,
and offer what is what is herelike in for me, there's always
(09:14):
this part of my practice isalways to when I'm feeling
things like anger and grief andsadness, is to like draw deep
into what what is the valuesystem that I come from, you
know, what, what are the valuesthat I hold? And can I allow
what I deeply care about toinform my anger and grief and
(09:34):
allow that to sort of tracingthat back to compassion, to love
to to caring for the desire forconnection, and allowing the
building my capacity to holdspace for all of those things,
in my being hold space for allof those emotions that are
challenging, as well as the onesthat I that I draw from. If that
(09:56):
makes any sense.
Josh Meeder (09:57):
It does and that that was that tender point.
Right, that really hooked me inyour words in the book is the
place that we all have impact inand are impacted by what is out
there. So, we do feel thesethings and especially it was how
you drew the pandemic and stillcoming out is there is anger,
(10:19):
there is grief, there isfeelings of injustice, there is
feelings of disempowerment andall these negative things, and
in your opening, in the forewordof the book, you speak to that a
little bit about like, for lackof a better our word, the whoo
culture or like the Guru's like,oh, it's all love and light, and
it's almost shaming the theshadow side and not allowing
(10:41):
that to be recognized, and thenhow to transmute that in one to
identify it, to see where it'scoming to check in. And then to
identify it into a place whereyou can speak from compassion,
even when there's disagreement.
Rachel Allen (10:58):
Right, and a lot of that is felt in the body,
when we try to create when we,we have the tendency, and I'll
speak just to my own experience,because the only one I have, I
have the tendency to, to more beanalyzing it and creating a
story about it, rather than justallowing myself to land in my
body and sort of experience itand build capacity for something
else to emerge there. So, so forme, a lot of what emerged from
(11:20):
the book was was getting out ofthe story that my mind was
telling me which was, wasconnected to the noise it was up
here, and getting back into mybody and allowing myself to feel
and, and, and create space formy deepest held values that I
that I have to feel all of thatin my body, then the words come
(11:42):
from there. Instead of boys,it's up here.
Josh Meeder (11:46):
There's also a place of expansion in that
process. When we have a stimulusor a reaction, there's an
emotion, and there's thetendency to lean forward is to
move into it without taking thatpause to look back to reflect.
And, you know, again, when yousay speaking to experience, I'll
speak to mind, I have learnedthat if if there is that, that
(12:09):
space, the reactions and theresponses become better, they
become more connected, theybecome more informed. If you can
just realize and create spacebetween the reaction this book
seems to give the the tools asyou say, they're, they're
simple. They're short, they'rereflections and affirmations and
(12:31):
prayers, for the wisdom and thepatience to learn how you can
show up. In our earlierconversations, this was a place
that I'm always curious about ishow do we move those forward
from a place of let's say,there's an a sense of injustice,
someone's not able to defendourselves or they're
underserved? And there's angerat the injustice? How does that
(12:55):
translate because it can go tooutright protest? It can go to
withdraw. But in cases likethat, what are some of the the
thoughts or experiences thatyou're sharing in this book?
What do we do with that when wefeel
Rachel Allen (13:09):
right, and I think I think we feel all of the
things I know, just for anexample, I'll just share an
example that's informed megreatly is, is having the
experience of parenting mydaughter, who has spina bifida.
And I had no idea before I hadher that the world was created
by able bodied people, like Ihad no idea, because I'm an able
(13:30):
bodied person. And environmentalobstacles weren't something that
I noticed, you know, and it'sthrough, like, parenting her.
There's times where I've feltlike like, like blind rage, and
like times where she hasn't beenable to access supports because
of maybe a building or maybe anynumber of things. And then sort
(13:55):
of like, okay, but what, what iswhat, what do I model to her?
What do I model to her? And alot of it's like, even in
people's attitudes, like whenshe was younger, and still even
now, but moving pictures,younger people would come up to
us and say, What's wrong withher? And my husband? And I would
say, she's really mean, youknow? And then people would be
(14:18):
like, you know, giving adifferent answer. People would
be really confused by that. Butit was, you know, just, but it
was something like it like itbrought an awareness like, well,
I probably have that attitudethat I have to unpack as well.
You know, so it's sort of like awhole. We're always we're always
given the opportunities tounpack beliefs and beliefs are
(14:40):
in the yogic tradition, somescars, they're their neural
networks in the brain. Andoftentimes, we don't understand
how our beliefs are informed orthey they're informed by
culture. We grew up and they'reinformed by, you know, our
family, the community we grew upin, some of them are acquired
through our personalexperiences, but doesn't I mean,
they're always the best beliefsto have. And so So sort of being
(15:05):
able to objectively unpackbeliefs and and look at, well,
like, what, what is what, what,or is there a path for a way to
change beliefs. And when Rileywas, I think, nine months, I
started with two other moms. Andfor three years, we raised money
(15:26):
to fund we raised $250,000. Andwe built an all inclusive
playground, in our communitythat was three years of like
channeling that that awarenesslike I realized when when, when
my daughter was six months old,and like, she's not able to
access any of these playgroundsaround here, even though they're
supposedly ADA compliant. Youcan't take a wheelchair through
(15:46):
March, you know, it just youcan't. And so, so it was sort of
like, oh, that that was like,that was something that made me
cry, and it made me rage, and itmade me scream. But if I would
have stayed in that place ofcrying, raging and screaming,
and curling up in a little balland saying, This is so unfair,
Life is so unfair, it wouldn'thave been possible to have this
(16:08):
playground that now stillexists. So, you know, I think
all of those things show up andit just understanding like,
like, allowing them to happen. Imean, I've learned a lot through
raising my daughter, and alsoaffirming for her that nobody's
doing you a favor, these arerights that exist that for you
(16:31):
as a human being. So when youneed to access support, nobody's
doing you a favor, these rights,these are, these are your rights
as a human, it might take morecollaboration and cooperation.
But one of the things that Ihave come to realize is in that
space where there might beinjustice, and it takes more
(16:51):
effort to bring someone to thetable that they're to bring that
person to the table is like soworth it. Because their
experience is so different thanmine. And I would not know that
if that person's voice wasn'twasn't present. If that
meandering answer to yourquestion makes any sense. If it
(17:12):
takes, I think it takes a lot ofwork, personally, and you know,
unpacking the neural networks,being Honestly, when I first
found out I was having a childwas funny with it, I thought,
Oh, does this mean I can't gocamping anymore. You know, I
mean, my, my thoughts wereselfish was like, Oh, this is
gonna be inconvenient for thingslike this. And it's like, yeah,
(17:33):
it is gonna be inconvenient forthings like this, and you do it
anyway.
Josh Meeder (17:36):
Right? And you learn. And in my belief system,
and I think we've kind ofresonated with this, when I see
a situation, my first go to is,is a creating separation or
connection. And that's kind ofmy gateway. And when it goes
into separation, it's a it's adifferent pathway for me. And in
(17:57):
there has been so muchseparation in recent years, just
really the marginalization ofpeople just by titles, like, oh,
you believe this, or you'releaning this way, or you're
supporting this. And forwhatever's happened, it seems
we're now just really puttingpeople in boxes right off, and
(18:19):
you're taking away theirhumanity and their their
authenticity, and it closes downconversation. And it's like,
well, how do you bridge gaps?
How do you bridge gaps withsomeone who may believe
something that is soantithetical to every fiber in
your being, and not just gostraight into judgment and
condemnation? And you said,curiosity? And I thought that
(18:40):
was such a wise, gentle way into find that. So how does
someone develop a curiosity? Orwhat does that look like? That's
first self reflection can beuncomfortable if you're not used
to doing the inner work,
Rachel Allen (18:54):
right. And I think like resourcing ourselves for
discomfort as part of that, andand understanding that
understanding our nervoussystems is crucial to doing any
this kind of work, recognizingthat we will be our nervous
systems will be activated whenwe're having difficult
conversations, recognizing thatsome of that activation will
(19:15):
prevent us from deeply listeningto someone, and being and that
doesn't mean when I'm talking tosomeone, or if I have a
conversation with someone, itdoesn't mean that I'm accepting
their beliefs. And it doesn'tmean that I'm not creating a
boundary for myself. And itdoesn't mean that I might not
even reflect back to them. ButI'm going to do it in a way
that's not shaming to them. Andjust like from Curiosity, but I
(19:36):
think one of the things thathappens is when you're talking
about these these sort of silosis is you know, we don't know
what other people's experiencesare. We can't I can't know what
it is to be someone other thanmyself. But I can listen to
someone without saying, oh,yeah, I know how you feel or Oh,
(19:57):
that happened to so and youknow, I think like Being able to
listen to someone, and maybereflect back to them? Well, I
heard you say this word, can youtell me what that word means to
you? Or? Well, I'm so curiousabout that, that feeling that
you shared when when you readthat sign? Or, you know, I think
that it takes us, you know, partof my own practice in doing
(20:22):
justice work has been resourcingmyself for discomfort, and it's
not going to kill me to beuncomfortable. You know, I can,
I can resource myself I can gomy capacity for discomfort,
because I think that that iswhere growth happens. Is
Josh Meeder (20:41):
it discomfort is almost that that icing or that
surface layer, that you have tocrack through to find that place
of connection? Because theneveryone's unique and individual
experiences, my world beliefthat there are some, some real
universals and some real aspectsof humanity that, you know, can
(21:03):
find common ground. And to me,it's how do we get into that to
start from that, rather than theoutward?
Rachel Allen (21:10):
Right? Right.
Right. And I think it's, it's,it's tearing down the walls that
we put up, when in ourconversations, you know, being
able to do that and being ableto be with some of the rawness
of that, and being able to be inconversation without resolution.
Because I mean, honestly, someof these things that have been
around here for, you know,racism has been here for 400
(21:33):
years, do we think, do I havethe capacity or drug the ability
to believe that, so I can saysomething that's going to change
that? You know, what I mean? So,you know, how do we how do we be
with one another? And I think, Ithink about this often where we
we skate on this, like thinveneer of politeness and
(21:53):
niceness. And I'm not sayingthat the opposite of that is
rudeness and call out culturebecause that's, that's like, oh,
but But can we have conflict?
Can we can we, you know, we haveto learn how to talk about our
humanity with one anotherwithout shutting down. We know
how to talk about the weather,I'm tired of talking about the
weather, I don't want to talkabout the weather and
Josh Meeder (22:13):
what happens every day. So
Rachel Allen (22:16):
unless it's something catastrophic, but I
think we have to, we have tolearn how to talk about our
humanity, and that's part ofthat connection, you know, being
able to connect with somebodywithout needing to say, Oh, I
know how you feel. But beingable to just like, wow, that
person, I heard the pain intheir voice,
Josh Meeder (22:36):
you know, we're witnessing someone's experience.
Right?
Rachel Allen (22:39):
Right. That witness experience is really
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Meeder (22:44):
And the trust, again, love what you said about
being comfortable with theunresolved, because it's, it's a
process, it's not a path, andwe're not changing, long held
cultural beliefs versus, youknow, family beliefs. But when
in just simple human humaninteraction terms, if you find
(23:06):
someone that you're at oddswith, as soon as you don't give
them space to be heard, it's,it's always it's always
confrontation, if you can gointo that space, and at least
they feel heard, it brings thatenergy down. And learning to
cultivate those tools is suchsuch a gift to share with the
world. But also you're workingwith teachers in different
(23:28):
modalities to say, hey, how doyou create this safe space in
these these trainings? So I knowyou've done that in some of the
community organizations thatyou've been in, let's dive into
that a little bit of the safespaces you've created and how
that ability to see witness andallow to be heard has manifested
(23:50):
within your community.
Rachel Allen (23:52):
Right. And I would call them more brave spaces,
because I can't assume that Iknow what a safe space is for
everyone. When I'm when I'mworking in certain environments,
we'll often form what we callcommunity agreements. So people
can share what they need forthemselves to be in that space.
For example, I work with a lotof people in recovery. So so
(24:15):
often people will say, I needeverybody here to be sober in
this space. So that that mightbe a community agreement.
Another one might be I don'twant to I don't want people to
talk about politics here or, youknow, so some of those things
can be established throughpeople sharing that, you know,
sharing what, what, what theyneed to have it be a safe space,
(24:39):
confidentiality, you know,things like that. But I think,
more importantly, is a spacewhere people can just be
themselves, you know, you know,to show up and be mourning or
celebrating, and that can shift,it can shift like the container
that that's held in has to besort of like malleable What
(25:00):
can't be this like, concreteform, you know, you know, people
come, especially doing traumawork, people come with a myriad
of experiences and responses andare all different places on
that, that path. Which is why Ialso work in collaboration with
other professionals in thosespaces. So there's like, not
(25:22):
just me, there's, you know thatthere's a sort of a shared
energy towards, you know, cocreating a lot of those, a lot
of the spaces and a lot of itfor me, too, I think I
mentioned, when I go into theforensic lockdown unit at
Torrance, it's intense, there'scorrections officers everywhere
there, whatever, those littleradios, I don't know, if they
(25:44):
have a different name to helpwith technology, radios, CD,
whatever, they're, you know,going off and announcements are
happening and, and invitingpeople to breathe, and I close
my eyes in that space wherethere's like, 75 people in a
circle around me, and there'slike, 10, CEOs walking all
around, and I close my eyes, andI feel after about two or three
(26:08):
breaths cycles. And I don'tknow, if that would energy would
shift if my eyes are open, but Iknow that I close my eyes every
time and the energy shifts, justfrom allowing myself to be
vulnerable in that space. Andthat that communication can
shift that energy not let I'mthe authority, and then I'm
like, putting a hierarchicalenergy towards my, my, my place
(26:33):
in the circle, but um, to thebest of my ability facilitating
in modeling that vulnerability,and that, that way of accessing
presence.
Josh Meeder (26:45):
Because that's, that's unique. And in your your
position, because you havepeople that are coming to you by
choice, and in some cases, itmay be adjudication or they may
not want to be there. Socreating that, that that
openness, or that vulnerabilityhas to shift radically between
between those two scenarios, Iwould imagine.
Rachel Allen (27:07):
It does. It does.
And it's so interesting. Ididn't share this with you
before. But a couple years ago,this was another prison
environment that I was goinginto for five years, I taught at
Cambria County Prison, which isa county facility, which county
facilities can be challenging,because they don't have the
programming that state andfederal institutions have. And
it's, it's pretty intense. Butone of the corrections officers
(27:28):
ended up coming to my regularclass, it was here in my home
studio, and I had it open. Andit was so interesting. Like she
came to the class with herpartner who was also a
corrections officer. And shesaid to me, after the class, she
said, you know, you and theother people, one of which was
my husband, who had been comingin, he was teaching men I was
(27:49):
teaching women, she said, theway that you are with people has
just changed my entireorientation. And it was just so
interesting, because she would,she would see things were always
very intense in thatenvironment. And I could tell my
presence was disruptive, to theflow that they had. And my
intention was not to bedisruptive, but I recognized
that just my presence there was,you know, so I didn't take it
(28:11):
personally, like, people were,the CEOs were like, short with
me, they're all dysregulated aswell. And so I never took any
that personally, and I wouldjust try to be as professional
and and grounded, you know,going into those types of
environments recognizing nobody,here's regulated, but so but
would remain regulated and andworked really hard to resource
(28:33):
myself for that before goingthere. But that this woman's,
you know, her and her partner,they come to the home studio,
and she was just like, you know,I, I witnessed you with
boundaries and firmness, butyet, like how you treated people
was just eye opening to me. Andit was just so interesting,
(28:55):
because our intention was not togo in there and change the way
the CEOs saw the inmates. It wasit was to prevent like, like the
overarching goal was to preventrecidivism, and, you know,
getting people connected beforethey were released, working with
the courts and probation, andhaving sort of like a transition
for people. So our intention hadnothing to do with the CEOs. But
(29:17):
this person, it was just sointeresting to me that like the
way that that we cultivatedpresence in those spaces shifted
and altered her path.
Josh Meeder (29:30):
Yeah, you wouldn't think I mean, when you're
talking about a prisonsituation. The thoughts I think
initially go to the inmates,right, but that is the larger
staff and a beautiful thing tobe able to give them a wider
perspective. Just ask thequestion, How was that received?
I'm sure there were some someinmates that were not open to
(29:52):
receive it, but the ones thatwere what was an experience like
for that was that to actually beseen how did that bring As a
human, you know, their humanspirit forward in just awful
circumstances.
Rachel Allen (30:06):
Right? Well, the first class I taught in there,
it was interesting, we workedfor two years to get into the
prison. And the prison itselfwas built for men. My husband
was actually a union carpenterat the time, and he was part of
building that facility. But inthe challenges that my community
have faced, more and morefemales were incarcerated, in
(30:27):
fact, so many that they tookover a whole wing, and a lot of
them are mothers. So it was likea lot of disruption in the
community. And there's a lot ofjudgment. There's a lot of
judgment against anyone who's aparent that deals with
addiction, but much more soagainst women who are mothers
than then were fathers. And sothe idea was to go in and help
prevent recidivism and sort ofconnect people. But the first
(30:51):
class that I went to teach everysingle woman had her Bible with
her, and I was like, Oh, okay.
Everyone has their Bible. Thisis so interesting. I was like,
well, we won't be needing thatbook today. But you can put it
aside. And it was actually veryinteresting, because I actually
love teaching yoga to peoplethat don't have any sort of
experience with yoga studioculture, it's refreshing. And to
(31:15):
be able to tell people that thisis a practice that helps us
cultivate the fluctuations ofthe mind, this is a practice
that helps us address suffering.
You know, nobody in my life hadever told me, Hey, this is how
you deal with suffering. It waslike suck it up, buttercup, or
like, Oh, you poor thing. Sothere's something other than
(31:37):
suck it up buttercup, or a pityparty, you know, and this is,
these are tools. And so I foundthat most people were hungry for
those tools. Because no one everteaches us how to deal with
suffering, at least in myexperience. It was suck it up,
buttercup, or are you poorthing, oh, you poor thing. And
it was like that neither ofthose are remotely helpful.
Josh Meeder (32:00):
No, in such a place where I see that a lot in the
youth in our children today. Wehaven't. We haven't done a
greatest job and building theirresiliency, you know, this. You
know, it's great, we make thingsgood for our kids. But you know,
my son taught me a great lessonone time, he, you know, did a
(32:20):
young teenage boy dumb thing.
And I was really upset. I wasupset because he just didn't use
his wisdom. You know, and he's awise kid. But he's also it was a
young boy made a bad mistake.
And I was really, reallyfrustrated. And he looked at me,
and he's like, Dad, I know,you're just trying to protect me
and don't want me to get hurt.
But I got to learn, I got tomake my own mistakes. And, you
(32:41):
know, in that moment of justlike, Oh, I'm so mad, I'm like,
Oh, I'm so mad. You're so right.
You know, you threw that wisdomright? Back, it was such a great
teaching, and allowing ourchildren to, to suffer or to
fail, and helping them throughwith tools to understand what
that is to build thatresiliency. Right?
Rachel Allen (33:03):
And, and middle class America is afraid of doing
that. It's like, you know, whenI taught at St. Francis, it's
like, the young people aretaught to think that they're the
center of the universe, and it'sreally harmful. You know, I
think sometimes for people to Iknow, with my son, he was a,
he's a, he's an amazingmusician, you know, amazing, and
(33:25):
people used to tell them all thetime, you're so amazing, what an
amazing, and I'm like UK, you,let's just put things in
perspective, you're an excellentmusician, that has nothing to do
with your character. You know,if you want to be a good person,
you have to have character. Andjust because you can play a
guitar well, and play the violinand all these other instruments
doesn't remotely mean thatyou're a good person don't get
(33:46):
confused.
Josh Meeder (33:50):
I know. In our house, we had three roles, and
they were up on the wall by onthe kitchen it was do the right
thing. Tell the truth. Andbehind those, like, for me, that
was such a simple thing. It'slike everything else, you know,
any situation can fall withinthose rules, like did you do the
right thing where you kinda didtell the truth? And, you know,
(34:11):
so how you've talked a littlebit about the adult work that
you've done with with adults?
How do you see this comingforward in children and giving
more resources to our youth?
Rachel Allen (34:24):
I'm hopeful, you know, I see a lot more. I see a
lot more openings for kids tolearn more about mindfulness and
their belief systems. I haven'tbeen a big fan of a lot of the
bullying programs are inschools, because I think that
(34:45):
they teach very, like surfacebehavior types of things. And
they use things like slogans,and they don't necessarily
connect to belief systems. Sothat that I'm seeing a little
bit of a shift from that, whichI think is, you know, helpful. I
mean, I think big You know,we've known for years
psychologically, that punishmentand reward is not like a belief
(35:08):
system changer. But yet we stillsee those types of things in a
lot of in our criminal justicesystem and schools. And so I,
you know, I think that there'sa, you know, I see some openings
for that with with moremindfulness oriented things. I
think a lot of young people haveopportunities for service that I
(35:32):
think are great that we didn'thave a lot of that when I was
younger, and I see like in ourschool district, which is school
district that has a lot ofpoverty, and challenges. I love
that the two service clubs inour school district are so
active, and they're servingtheir own community. They're not
like, here I am in the wealthycommunity coming down to serve
(35:54):
the poor people. These are like,the students are like, these are
the people these are my, this ismy family. This is my neighbor.
And it's to me there's there'ssuch an enthusiasm in the young
people that are in those serviceclubs, because they're serving
their own people. They alreadyknow what their needs are, they
don't need somebody else fromlike an ivory tower to come in
and tell them what their needsare. They already know that. And
(36:17):
they're, they're meeting theircommunity. I love that. I think
that's so powerful.
Josh Meeder (36:24):
Well, the the aspect of service, there was a
book, it's not about you by TomRath, that was just a phenomenal
book, a man who had all sorts ofhealth problems. And when you go
into service or support of otherit's amazing how the attitude,
the perspectives, and justactually the quality and well
(36:44):
being in your own health canshift. Yeah, so right, so good.
Have those those available tokids? Right. And to adults?
Let's be frank, for everyone inthe service of others.
Rachel Allen (36:56):
Right, right. And it can be humbling. I know, with
the heart when I'm working withpatients, sometimes what works
for people, especially ifthey're in a lot of pain, or if
they're actively dying, isplaying three notes. So you
know, you have to get out ofyour head and be like, I need to
make this sound great. Becausethese people are sitting here in
the room and I'm playing threenotes. And they're probably
(37:16):
like, what's going on with thisharp player? Doesn't she know
how to use her instrument? Butyou know, if you pay attention
to this, you know, have you payattention to what's needed? And
you don't bring your ownprojections on there, which is
really difficult. Really be ofservice but if you're doing it
because you want validated or anaward or sticker or you know, it
(37:40):
yucky? Is it up a bit?
Josh Meeder (37:42):
Yep. Beautiful, humble. Curiosity is a great
entry point to about anysituation, right? So you so your
book is out, we'll share howpeople can get access to this
book. My favorite power passagesis the closing passage, the
daily blessings. And I just Ilove this, Rachael, if you'll
(38:05):
bear with me, I'd like to readthis to the audience. So this is
a daily blessing. May you begineach day with a curious mind and
an open heart. May the end ofthe day find you with your
integrity intact. May yourecognize longing as the soul's
desire to evolve. May you valueabsurdity in the sacred in equal
(38:26):
measures. And may you allowyourself to be held blessed and
illuminated. So be it So may itbe in Rachel that I just that
resonated with me, specificallythe point of valuing absurdity
in the sacred in equal measures.
Because without the long storythat that just landed and
(38:48):
because it is such a beautifulsacred gift that we have in this
life, and it's also absurd inthe whole scheme of the length
of time of the planet, so wehave to be intentional and we
can't take ourselves tooseriously and that just summed
it up so so well.
Rachel Allen (39:06):
Right right. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah, I love
absurdity
Josh Meeder (39:14):
we should have t shirts practice absurdity, let's
start the movement. All right.
So with our absurdity practicealready in and I very cautious
on throwing ideas out with youbecause I know you are a dynamo
and a powerhouse and amanifester of epic proportions.
So when the book is out, we'llshare that in the link but
(39:34):
you're also working on acompanion piece for this right
what's coming up with thisextension.
Rachel Allen (39:42):
So I'm basically sharing my process and and it'll
show up in the form of the bookis in three parts. And it'll
show up with a preparatorypractice how I how to gather
support, gathering from thehave, you know connecting to
your values connecting to theteachings and the wisdom that
(40:04):
inform you, which might be verydifferent from mine. So I'm not
telling people what their valuesare, but I'm inviting them to
explore that. And then, youknow, the exploration of all of
these different parts, theexploration of what is the
exploration of liminal spacelook like it through like a
practice, and then maybe somequestions to go deeper and then,
(40:26):
and then having the blessing. SoSo sort of looking at it, some
of my process and invitingpeople to explore that as a
practice they could, they couldcertainly do it is like a whole
experience, they could you know,the preparatory one, I think, is
one, I draw from one of my mainteachers, Joanna Macy, and
(40:48):
another Buddhist teacher, Lama,Rod Owens. And it's a really
lovely practice where you drawin your support to draw in the
teachers, the mentors, and youcan even imagine them walking
beside you looking in your eyeswanting your hand, you draw in
the teachings that you'vemetabolized and integrated, you
know, not thinking about like,here's the quote, but but, you
(41:09):
know, things that have landed inyour body, dwelling on your your
lineage, whether that be yourblood lineage, your chosen
lineage of like, for me, it'speople that work with music and
words and movement. You drawupon your ecosystem, you know,
the ecosystem that you you areforged from, and you do that
(41:30):
work from this place of havingthat support with you, you know,
and which can be really, reallyhelpful when we're dealing with
challenging emotions. This isn'ta substitute for therapy or
mental health intervention, butit can be a complement to
dealing with challenging things.
I think the liminal the blessingfor liminal space, um, like
we're still, you know, we'restill in liminal space, like
(41:51):
work, you know, but it also likelooking at that, like threshold
time is seen in so many culturesis sacred. So what can we bring
into that so so it's sort oflike diving a little bit like
into what produced theblessings, my process, giving
specific practices and grace.
People could do them in a group,they could do them as stand
(42:12):
alones, if they're, I'msuggesting if they did in the
standalones, to do thepreparatory one with the
supports for each, you know,process. It'll be one that
people can use in workshops orclasses, or however they want to
use it, I'll probably guide forself
Josh Meeder (42:29):
or for their practice, whatever their
practice may be to help.
Rachel Allen (42:32):
Right, right. If people could do it in as
individuals, they could do it incommunity, you know, whatever.
However, that shows up forpeople and I'll have that
available as a free PDF on mywebsite.
Josh Meeder (42:45):
Okay, we'll put all the links to your contact,
you'll be able to find Rachel inthe description here. The book
blessings beyond bypass, firstbook out from seed House press,
which just want to throw alittle congratulations out to
see how seedhouse press andacknowledge Kimberly MC L.
Hatton, who helped bring thisbook forward with you. It's her
(43:10):
dream, Kimberly is a goodfriend. She's also a integral
part of my business. And she's awriting coach in her own own
right. So a little shout out toSteve Howe House Press. Rachel,
is there anything you'd like toleave us with here this
afternoon.
Rachel Allen (43:29):
I just really appreciated the conversation.
And I'm really blessed. I've hadpeople share with me how they've
been using the book. So that tome is really helpful. Not just
like, hey, I read your book, itwas great. But this is how I,
you know, I used your book, oneperson, I do consulting work for
(43:50):
a long term care facility. Andone of the people who she's
actually moving to another job,but she's like, I used your book
to help me to practicediscernment with my process. And
that was really, I really was soappreciative of that. And that's
the intention is for this to bea tool, you know, maybe some for
(44:10):
some folks will be a one anddone, you know, and that was
great. Let me put it on thefile. But I'm hoping that it can
be a tool and then with thefacilitators guide, even, you
know, to dig even a littledeeper with it. So I'm grateful
to seedhouse press two becauseKim, always Kim's like, Okay,
now you need a facilitator Skye,because we're always talking
about my process. She's like,people need to know that. This
(44:32):
is helpful. So I love Kim fromseedhouse press has been such an
integral part of my developmentas a writer, you know, I came to
her as a blogger and havepublished now on at least half a
dozen platforms and I've like abyline with an international
blog team and you know, she'sshe's just really good at like,
(44:53):
you supporting me in my process.
Okay, I know you can dive alittle deeper Rachel, go for it.
So
Josh Meeder (45:00):
Well, I am grateful for both of you. But
specifically you, Rachel, forall that you're doing here in
the community in in the world.
The book, blessings beyond myPASS is available, I highly
recommend it. And I'll share thestory I told Rachel, I'm not a
book reader. I love audiobooks,but I'm just not a book reader.
So I'm like, I got to do theresearch. And I'll tell you what
(45:21):
I dove in it is an easy read. Itis so natural, and I can't
recommend it enough. So go out,get your copy. There's
instructions on how to use it.
You can do it all at once. Youcan do it in daily chunks. But
the best thing to do is open itup and just get started. It's a
wonderful book. It is needed inthese times. And again, Rachel,
(45:45):
thank you for the time I lookforward to seeing what's coming
next and the next time we canplay or dance together again.
Absolutely. Thank you. Thank youfor watching. If you liked what
you saw, be sure to hit thatlike and subscribe button right
now. Stay tuned and check outthe channel for other
(46:06):
interesting and informativevideos.
Welcome to the great things, LLC podcast. I'm
your host, Josh Meeder. Welcome,listeners, today's podcast, I
get to share a story of someonewho I have just been absolutely
had a joy and pleasure ofgetting to know. I could take a
lot of time. I don't know ifthere's enough hours in the day
(00:22):
in this podcast to just kind ofgo over some of the stuff that
Rachel Allen has done and whoshe is and the community that
she's built. So let's, withoutfurther ado, I want to introduce
and welcome Rachel to thepodcast.
Rachel Allen (00:36):
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Josh Meeder (00:39):
Rachel leading up to this I was I was I've been
really struggling. I was like,how do you introduce what you've
done, because you've done a lot.
And one of the things that, youknow, we have taglines, but
yours really does kind of boilit down. So to merging music,
yoga and community. When youshare that with me. I'm like,
oh, yeah, that's, that's you.
(01:00):
But it's also much broader thanthat. So we're here today. And
one of the things that we'regoing to be talking about is
your book that has just beenreleased blessings beyond the
bypass tender medicine for hardtimes. So why don't you start
with sharing a little bit aboutyourself and you things you've
done to this point, and we'llget into how the book came in
(01:23):
and what this is for, for thesetimes that we all find ourselves
in?
Rachel Allen (01:27):
Right? Yeah, I always find it interesting. When
people ask what what I do in theworld, I always just laugh. And
my my sister Kelly, she lives inAustralia, and she works in the
sector of dealing with peoplethat like housing, she always
tells me I'm a musical socialworker, which of course, there's
no like, you know, credentialingfor that. But that's what she
(01:50):
calls me. And so I what, in anutshell, what what I what I
intend to do to all the spacesthat I show up is to be in
spaces with people where whereanything is possible, where the
potential for healing lies withthe potential for authenticity,
for for whatever is real, toshow up for that person and to
(02:14):
transform but perhaps, so a lotof the work that I do, I don't
show up with an agenda otherthan to be in the space feel
what's in the space? And how canwhat what, what is the best tool
that I could bring to respond tothe space that I'm in with
people. I do that in hospicework, I've done that for 18
years, I play the harp. So Iwork with people that are in any
(02:35):
phase of transition, in whichcould be somebody a year from
their transition, it could beduring their transition, it
could be with their family aspart of that or just that person
alone if they don't have family.
So I've done that work for 18years. I am a yoga teacher, I
bring music, it's infusedthroughout my practice. And a
(02:58):
lot of my practice is inpartnership with organizations
that serve different types ofcommunities. For example, I for
10 years, I've worked with ourrape crisis center and domestic
violence center to servesurvivors of trauma. I also come
into other spaces, such as statemental hospital, their forensic
(03:21):
lockdown unit and other spaceslike that, and and offer
practice as well as in mycommunity right now. I'm still
teaching outside, which isreally nice. It's more like a
public space where anybody cancome. And yeah, so I show up in
different places and spaces withpeople and hope to connect
through music through sharedpractice, and invite that that
(03:43):
sort of, like what everybodybrings to that energies is
equally important is what I'mbringing. So sort of, you know,
working with people in thosespaces in places. And as
Josh Meeder (03:59):
part of your work, a lot of it has been based
around trauma informed work,underserved in justices, and
really how that is woven intothe community and how they
community heal. So from whatI've learned from you, a lot of
it is this place of traumainformed health in healing and
(04:20):
growing.
Rachel Allen (04:21):
Right, right. Part of part of the experience of
trauma is not feeling that oneis worthy of care. Part of the
experience of trauma is is youknow, the absence of connection.
And so we don't heal in silosand when we can come alongside
(04:42):
people rather than come overpeople that come alongside
people. I really stronglybelieve that we that
pathologizing trauma is nothelpful. It's it's a normal
response of the central nervoussystem to keep ourselves alive.
When someone experiences trauma,you know, the way that their
(05:05):
nervous system responded a lotof times, especially if it's the
freeze response, there'sjudgement. So finding ways to to
support the integration ofsomebody's nervous system is is,
you know, even with with our ownpresence, you know, having that
awareness that each being hashas value because they exist,
(05:29):
not because of what they've doneor haven't done, but because
they are here. And so, you know,finding ways to integrate that
into how we are with people aspart of trauma informed care.
Josh Meeder (05:40):
And with the concept of trauma, especially
over the last few years, one,trauma is present, and so many
and if it's unaddressed, it canmanifest in a lot of different
ways. And trauma can be big orbig or small, in quotation
marks. But the reality is,whatever trauma is to that
person is big to that person andlearning how to meet. So over
(06:04):
the last few years with, withthe pandemic, with all the
unrest, both socially,environmentally, economically,
politically, it feels liketrauma has actually been infused
in daily life to a higher degreeblessings beyond the bypass is a
book that, in its title explainsa tender medicine for hard
(06:26):
times. These have been hardtimes in recent years. What was
the the impetus, or the thoughtthat created the spark for you
in creating this book?
Rachel Allen (06:36):
Sure. I think one of the things that shows up for
me often is sitting down anddeeply listening in, which is a
process called unitate. oflistening, like seeking to
connect into what's beyond thesurface noise that's present,
it's really loud, and to sit andreally deeply listen to, to what
(07:02):
are the needs that are present?
You know, and and what can Ipossibly, how can I possibly be
of service? How can I possiblybe of service I had created, I
had different people, mycommunity reached out to me over
COVID, and one was one of ourlocal health care systems. And
they were this is at a time whenlike, the emergency room, I
(07:25):
mean, that the COVID units wereoverflowing, the deaths were
really high. And, and I created,like just tools for health care
workers, like how you know, andhere they are in respirators
and, you know, but like, how canyou prep? How do you prepare for
something like that, to walkinto those types of situations,
and then you have to go home,you know, to your family. So, so
(07:48):
giving people, you know, some ofthe things that I offers, tools
are so simple, but people don'tknow how to access them. You
know, and I think this blessingsbeyond bypass, emerged from just
like, recognizing that all ofour experiences are so different
during this this time, all ofour Express experience is not
(08:09):
the same as somebody who's goingin and being in that
environment. But what can Ioffer to someone, I don't know
what their experience is like,but what can I offer that could
be a service. And so, so manypeople that I love, were really
hurting, including myself.
During that time, I had afriend, my neighbor, who was a
(08:32):
nurse in a long term skilledcare facility, and she actually
had to live up there for sixweeks, during the most intense
part of COVID. She loved herfamily for six weeks, to live
there. And so it was just sortof, you know, seeing the some of
the extraordinary things thatpeople were doing some of the
sacrifices and wanting to honorthat as well as as just seeing
(08:54):
that people were in need ofmedicine. And and when I say
medicine, I mean something thatcould reach them at the soul
level. And everything that wasup here that was the noise
wasn't even touching that. Sowanting to dive a little deeper,
and offer what is what is herelike in for me, there's always
(09:14):
this part of my practice isalways to when I'm feeling
things like anger and grief andsadness, is to like draw deep
into what what is the valuesystem that I come from, you
know, what, what are the valuesthat I hold? And can I allow
what I deeply care about toinform my anger and grief and
(09:34):
allow that to sort of tracingthat back to compassion, to love
to to caring for the desire forconnection, and allowing the
building my capacity to holdspace for all of those things,
in my being hold space for allof those emotions that are
challenging, as well as the onesthat I that I draw from. If that
(09:56):
makes any sense.
Josh Meeder (09:57):
It does and that that was that tender point.
Right, that really hooked me inyour words in the book is the
place that we all have impact inand are impacted by what is out
there. So, we do feel thesethings and especially it was how
you drew the pandemic and stillcoming out is there is anger,
(10:19):
there is grief, there isfeelings of injustice, there is
feelings of disempowerment andall these negative things, and
in your opening, in the forewordof the book, you speak to that a
little bit about like, for lackof a better our word, the whoo
culture or like the Guru's like,oh, it's all love and light, and
it's almost shaming the theshadow side and not allowing
(10:41):
that to be recognized, and thenhow to transmute that in one to
identify it, to see where it'scoming to check in. And then to
identify it into a place whereyou can speak from compassion,
even when there's disagreement.
Rachel Allen (10:58):
Right, and a lot of that is felt in the body,
when we try to create when we,we have the tendency, and I'll
speak just to my own experience,because the only one I have, I
have the tendency to, to more beanalyzing it and creating a
story about it, rather than justallowing myself to land in my
body and sort of experience itand build capacity for something
else to emerge there. So, so forme, a lot of what emerged from
(11:20):
the book was was getting out ofthe story that my mind was
telling me which was, wasconnected to the noise it was up
here, and getting back into mybody and allowing myself to feel
and, and, and create space formy deepest held values that I
that I have to feel all of thatin my body, then the words come
(11:42):
from there. Instead of boys,it's up here.
Josh Meeder (11:46):
There's also a place of expansion in that
process. When we have a stimulusor a reaction, there's an
emotion, and there's thetendency to lean forward is to
move into it without taking thatpause to look back to reflect.
And, you know, again, when yousay speaking to experience, I'll
speak to mind, I have learnedthat if if there is that, that
(12:09):
space, the reactions and theresponses become better, they
become more connected, theybecome more informed. If you can
just realize and create spacebetween the reaction this book
seems to give the the tools asyou say, they're, they're
simple. They're short, they'rereflections and affirmations and
(12:31):
prayers, for the wisdom and thepatience to learn how you can
show up. In our earlierconversations, this was a place
that I'm always curious about ishow do we move those forward
from a place of let's say,there's an a sense of injustice,
someone's not able to defendourselves or they're
underserved? And there's angerat the injustice? How does that
(12:55):
translate because it can go tooutright protest? It can go to
withdraw. But in cases likethat, what are some of the the
thoughts or experiences thatyou're sharing in this book?
What do we do with that when wefeel
Rachel Allen (13:09):
right, and I think I think we feel all of the
things I know, just for anexample, I'll just share an
example that's informed megreatly is, is having the
experience of parenting mydaughter, who has spina bifida.
And I had no idea before I hadher that the world was created
by able bodied people, like Ihad no idea, because I'm an able
(13:30):
bodied person. And environmentalobstacles weren't something that
I noticed, you know, and it'sthrough, like, parenting her.
There's times where I've feltlike like, like blind rage, and
like times where she hasn't beenable to access supports because
of maybe a building or maybe anynumber of things. And then sort
(13:55):
of like, okay, but what, what iswhat, what do I model to her?
What do I model to her? And alot of it's like, even in
people's attitudes, like whenshe was younger, and still even
now, but moving pictures,younger people would come up to
us and say, What's wrong withher? And my husband? And I would
say, she's really mean, youknow? And then people would be
(14:18):
like, you know, giving adifferent answer. People would
be really confused by that. Butit was, you know, just, but it
was something like it like itbrought an awareness like, well,
I probably have that attitudethat I have to unpack as well.
You know, so it's sort of like awhole. We're always we're always
given the opportunities tounpack beliefs and beliefs are
(14:40):
in the yogic tradition, somescars, they're their neural
networks in the brain. Andoftentimes, we don't understand
how our beliefs are informed orthey they're informed by
culture. We grew up and they'reinformed by, you know, our
family, the community we grew upin, some of them are acquired
through our personalexperiences, but doesn't I mean,
they're always the best beliefsto have. And so So sort of being
(15:05):
able to objectively unpackbeliefs and and look at, well,
like, what, what is what, what,or is there a path for a way to
change beliefs. And when Rileywas, I think, nine months, I
started with two other moms. Andfor three years, we raised money
(15:26):
to fund we raised $250,000. Andwe built an all inclusive
playground, in our communitythat was three years of like
channeling that that awarenesslike I realized when when, when
my daughter was six months old,and like, she's not able to
access any of these playgroundsaround here, even though they're
supposedly ADA compliant. Youcan't take a wheelchair through
(15:46):
March, you know, it just youcan't. And so, so it was sort of
like, oh, that that was like,that was something that made me
cry, and it made me rage, and itmade me scream. But if I would
have stayed in that place ofcrying, raging and screaming,
and curling up in a little balland saying, This is so unfair,
Life is so unfair, it wouldn'thave been possible to have this
(16:08):
playground that now stillexists. So, you know, I think
all of those things show up andit just understanding like,
like, allowing them to happen. Imean, I've learned a lot through
raising my daughter, and alsoaffirming for her that nobody's
doing you a favor, these arerights that exist that for you
(16:31):
as a human being. So when youneed to access support, nobody's
doing you a favor, these rights,these are, these are your rights
as a human, it might take morecollaboration and cooperation.
But one of the things that Ihave come to realize is in that
space where there might beinjustice, and it takes more
(16:51):
effort to bring someone to thetable that they're to bring that
person to the table is like soworth it. Because their
experience is so different thanmine. And I would not know that
if that person's voice wasn'twasn't present. If that
meandering answer to yourquestion makes any sense. If it
(17:12):
takes, I think it takes a lot ofwork, personally, and you know,
unpacking the neural networks,being Honestly, when I first
found out I was having a childwas funny with it, I thought,
Oh, does this mean I can't gocamping anymore. You know, I
mean, my, my thoughts wereselfish was like, Oh, this is
gonna be inconvenient for thingslike this. And it's like, yeah,
(17:33):
it is gonna be inconvenient forthings like this, and you do it
anyway.
Josh Meeder (17:36):
Right? And you learn. And in my belief system,
and I think we've kind ofresonated with this, when I see
a situation, my first go to is,is a creating separation or
connection. And that's kind ofmy gateway. And when it goes
into separation, it's a it's adifferent pathway for me. And in
(17:57):
there has been so muchseparation in recent years, just
really the marginalization ofpeople just by titles, like, oh,
you believe this, or you'releaning this way, or you're
supporting this. And forwhatever's happened, it seems
we're now just really puttingpeople in boxes right off, and
(18:19):
you're taking away theirhumanity and their their
authenticity, and it closes downconversation. And it's like,
well, how do you bridge gaps?
How do you bridge gaps withsomeone who may believe
something that is soantithetical to every fiber in
your being, and not just gostraight into judgment and
condemnation? And you said,curiosity? And I thought that
(18:40):
was such a wise, gentle way into find that. So how does
someone develop a curiosity? Orwhat does that look like? That's
first self reflection can beuncomfortable if you're not used
to doing the inner work,
Rachel Allen (18:54):
right. And I think like resourcing ourselves for
discomfort as part of that, andand understanding that
understanding our nervoussystems is crucial to doing any
this kind of work, recognizingthat we will be our nervous
systems will be activated whenwe're having difficult
conversations, recognizing thatsome of that activation will
(19:15):
prevent us from deeply listeningto someone, and being and that
doesn't mean when I'm talking tosomeone, or if I have a
conversation with someone, itdoesn't mean that I'm accepting
their beliefs. And it doesn'tmean that I'm not creating a
boundary for myself. And itdoesn't mean that I might not
even reflect back to them. ButI'm going to do it in a way
that's not shaming to them. Andjust like from Curiosity, but I
(19:36):
think one of the things thathappens is when you're talking
about these these sort of silosis is you know, we don't know
what other people's experiencesare. We can't I can't know what
it is to be someone other thanmyself. But I can listen to
someone without saying, oh,yeah, I know how you feel or Oh,
(19:57):
that happened to so and youknow, I think like Being able to
listen to someone, and maybereflect back to them? Well, I
heard you say this word, can youtell me what that word means to
you? Or? Well, I'm so curiousabout that, that feeling that
you shared when when you readthat sign? Or, you know, I think
that it takes us, you know, partof my own practice in doing
(20:22):
justice work has been resourcingmyself for discomfort, and it's
not going to kill me to beuncomfortable. You know, I can,
I can resource myself I can gomy capacity for discomfort,
because I think that that iswhere growth happens. Is
Josh Meeder (20:41):
it discomfort is almost that that icing or that
surface layer, that you have tocrack through to find that place
of connection? Because theneveryone's unique and individual
experiences, my world beliefthat there are some, some real
universals and some real aspectsof humanity that, you know, can
(21:03):
find common ground. And to me,it's how do we get into that to
start from that, rather than theoutward?
Rachel Allen (21:10):
Right? Right.
Right. And I think it's, it's,it's tearing down the walls that
we put up, when in ourconversations, you know, being
able to do that and being ableto be with some of the rawness
of that, and being able to be inconversation without resolution.
Because I mean, honestly, someof these things that have been
around here for, you know,racism has been here for 400
(21:33):
years, do we think, do I havethe capacity or drug the ability
to believe that, so I can saysomething that's going to change
that? You know, what I mean? So,you know, how do we how do we be
with one another? And I think, Ithink about this often where we
we skate on this, like thinveneer of politeness and
(21:53):
niceness. And I'm not sayingthat the opposite of that is
rudeness and call out culturebecause that's, that's like, oh,
but But can we have conflict?
Can we can we, you know, we haveto learn how to talk about our
humanity with one anotherwithout shutting down. We know
how to talk about the weather,I'm tired of talking about the
weather, I don't want to talkabout the weather and
Josh Meeder (22:13):
what happens every day. So
Rachel Allen (22:16):
unless it's something catastrophic, but I
think we have to, we have tolearn how to talk about our
humanity, and that's part ofthat connection, you know, being
able to connect with somebodywithout needing to say, Oh, I
know how you feel. But beingable to just like, wow, that
person, I heard the pain intheir voice,
Josh Meeder (22:36):
you know, we're witnessing someone's experience.
Right?
Rachel Allen (22:39):
Right. That witness experience is really
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Meeder (22:44):
And the trust, again, love what you said about
being comfortable with theunresolved, because it's, it's a
process, it's not a path, andwe're not changing, long held
cultural beliefs versus, youknow, family beliefs. But when
in just simple human humaninteraction terms, if you find
(23:06):
someone that you're at oddswith, as soon as you don't give
them space to be heard, it's,it's always it's always
confrontation, if you can gointo that space, and at least
they feel heard, it brings thatenergy down. And learning to
cultivate those tools is suchsuch a gift to share with the
world. But also you're workingwith teachers in different
(23:28):
modalities to say, hey, how doyou create this safe space in
these these trainings? So I knowyou've done that in some of the
community organizations thatyou've been in, let's dive into
that a little bit of the safespaces you've created and how
that ability to see witness andallow to be heard has manifested
(23:50):
within your community.
Rachel Allen (23:52):
Right. And I would call them more brave spaces,
because I can't assume that Iknow what a safe space is for
everyone. When I'm when I'mworking in certain environments,
we'll often form what we callcommunity agreements. So people
can share what they need forthemselves to be in that space.
For example, I work with a lotof people in recovery. So so
(24:15):
often people will say, I needeverybody here to be sober in
this space. So that that mightbe a community agreement.
Another one might be I don'twant to I don't want people to
talk about politics here or, youknow, so some of those things
can be established throughpeople sharing that, you know,
sharing what, what, what theyneed to have it be a safe space,
(24:39):
confidentiality, you know,things like that. But I think,
more importantly, is a spacewhere people can just be
themselves, you know, you know,to show up and be mourning or
celebrating, and that can shift,it can shift like the container
that that's held in has to besort of like malleable What
(25:00):
can't be this like, concreteform, you know, you know, people
come, especially doing traumawork, people come with a myriad
of experiences and responses andare all different places on
that, that path. Which is why Ialso work in collaboration with
other professionals in thosespaces. So there's like, not
(25:22):
just me, there's, you know thatthere's a sort of a shared
energy towards, you know, cocreating a lot of those, a lot
of the spaces and a lot of itfor me, too, I think I
mentioned, when I go into theforensic lockdown unit at
Torrance, it's intense, there'scorrections officers everywhere
there, whatever, those littleradios, I don't know, if they
(25:44):
have a different name to helpwith technology, radios, CD,
whatever, they're, you know,going off and announcements are
happening and, and invitingpeople to breathe, and I close
my eyes in that space wherethere's like, 75 people in a
circle around me, and there'slike, 10, CEOs walking all
around, and I close my eyes, andI feel after about two or three
(26:08):
breaths cycles. And I don'tknow, if that would energy would
shift if my eyes are open, but Iknow that I close my eyes every
time and the energy shifts, justfrom allowing myself to be
vulnerable in that space. Andthat that communication can
shift that energy not let I'mthe authority, and then I'm
like, putting a hierarchicalenergy towards my, my, my place
(26:33):
in the circle, but um, to thebest of my ability facilitating
in modeling that vulnerability,and that, that way of accessing
presence.
Josh Meeder (26:45):
Because that's, that's unique. And in your your
position, because you havepeople that are coming to you by
choice, and in some cases, itmay be adjudication or they may
not want to be there. Socreating that, that that
openness, or that vulnerabilityhas to shift radically between
between those two scenarios, Iwould imagine.
Rachel Allen (27:07):
It does. It does.
And it's so interesting. Ididn't share this with you
before. But a couple years ago,this was another prison
environment that I was goinginto for five years, I taught at
Cambria County Prison, which isa county facility, which county
facilities can be challenging,because they don't have the
programming that state andfederal institutions have. And
it's, it's pretty intense. Butone of the corrections officers
(27:28):
ended up coming to my regularclass, it was here in my home
studio, and I had it open. Andit was so interesting. Like she
came to the class with herpartner who was also a
corrections officer. And shesaid to me, after the class, she
said, you know, you and theother people, one of which was
my husband, who had been comingin, he was teaching men I was
(27:49):
teaching women, she said, theway that you are with people has
just changed my entireorientation. And it was just so
interesting, because she would,she would see things were always
very intense in thatenvironment. And I could tell my
presence was disruptive, to theflow that they had. And my
intention was not to bedisruptive, but I recognized
that just my presence there was,you know, so I didn't take it
(28:11):
personally, like, people were,the CEOs were like, short with
me, they're all dysregulated aswell. And so I never took any
that personally, and I wouldjust try to be as professional
and and grounded, you know,going into those types of
environments recognizing nobody,here's regulated, but so but
would remain regulated and andworked really hard to resource
(28:33):
myself for that before goingthere. But that this woman's,
you know, her and her partner,they come to the home studio,
and she was just like, you know,I, I witnessed you with
boundaries and firmness, butyet, like how you treated people
was just eye opening to me. Andit was just so interesting,
(28:55):
because our intention was not togo in there and change the way
the CEOs saw the inmates. It wasit was to prevent like, like the
overarching goal was to preventrecidivism, and, you know,
getting people connected beforethey were released, working with
the courts and probation, andhaving sort of like a transition
for people. So our intention hadnothing to do with the CEOs. But
(29:17):
this person, it was just sointeresting to me that like the
way that that we cultivatedpresence in those spaces shifted
and altered her path.
Josh Meeder (29:30):
Yeah, you wouldn't think I mean, when you're
talking about a prisonsituation. The thoughts I think
initially go to the inmates,right, but that is the larger
staff and a beautiful thing tobe able to give them a wider
perspective. Just ask thequestion, How was that received?
I'm sure there were some someinmates that were not open to
(29:52):
receive it, but the ones thatwere what was an experience like
for that was that to actually beseen how did that bring As a
human, you know, their humanspirit forward in just awful
circumstances.
Rachel Allen (30:06):
Right? Well, the first class I taught in there,
it was interesting, we workedfor two years to get into the
prison. And the prison itselfwas built for men. My husband
was actually a union carpenterat the time, and he was part of
building that facility. But inthe challenges that my community
have faced, more and morefemales were incarcerated, in
(30:27):
fact, so many that they tookover a whole wing, and a lot of
them are mothers. So it was likea lot of disruption in the
community. And there's a lot ofjudgment. There's a lot of
judgment against anyone who's aparent that deals with
addiction, but much more soagainst women who are mothers
than then were fathers. And sothe idea was to go in and help
prevent recidivism and sort ofconnect people. But the first
(30:51):
class that I went to teach everysingle woman had her Bible with
her, and I was like, Oh, okay.
Everyone has their Bible. Thisis so interesting. I was like,
well, we won't be needing thatbook today. But you can put it
aside. And it was actually veryinteresting, because I actually
love teaching yoga to peoplethat don't have any sort of
experience with yoga studioculture, it's refreshing. And to
(31:15):
be able to tell people that thisis a practice that helps us
cultivate the fluctuations ofthe mind, this is a practice
that helps us address suffering.
You know, nobody in my life hadever told me, Hey, this is how
you deal with suffering. It waslike suck it up, buttercup, or
like, Oh, you poor thing. Sothere's something other than
(31:37):
suck it up buttercup, or a pityparty, you know, and this is,
these are tools. And so I foundthat most people were hungry for
those tools. Because no one everteaches us how to deal with
suffering, at least in myexperience. It was suck it up,
buttercup, or are you poorthing, oh, you poor thing. And
it was like that neither ofthose are remotely helpful.
Josh Meeder (32:00):
No, in such a place where I see that a lot in the
youth in our children today. Wehaven't. We haven't done a
greatest job and building theirresiliency, you know, this. You
know, it's great, we make thingsgood for our kids. But you know,
my son taught me a great lessonone time, he, you know, did a
(32:20):
young teenage boy dumb thing.
And I was really upset. I wasupset because he just didn't use
his wisdom. You know, and he's awise kid. But he's also it was a
young boy made a bad mistake.
And I was really, reallyfrustrated. And he looked at me,
and he's like, Dad, I know,you're just trying to protect me
and don't want me to get hurt.
But I got to learn, I got tomake my own mistakes. And, you
(32:41):
know, in that moment of justlike, Oh, I'm so mad, I'm like,
Oh, I'm so mad. You're so right.
You know, you threw that wisdomright? Back, it was such a great
teaching, and allowing ourchildren to, to suffer or to
fail, and helping them throughwith tools to understand what
that is to build thatresiliency. Right?
Rachel Allen (33:03):
And, and middle class America is afraid of doing
that. It's like, you know, whenI taught at St. Francis, it's
like, the young people aretaught to think that they're the
center of the universe, and it'sreally harmful. You know, I
think sometimes for people to Iknow, with my son, he was a,
he's a, he's an amazingmusician, you know, amazing, and
(33:25):
people used to tell them all thetime, you're so amazing, what an
amazing, and I'm like UK, you,let's just put things in
perspective, you're an excellentmusician, that has nothing to do
with your character. You know,if you want to be a good person,
you have to have character. Andjust because you can play a
guitar well, and play the violinand all these other instruments
doesn't remotely mean thatyou're a good person don't get
(33:46):
confused.
Josh Meeder (33:50):
I know. In our house, we had three roles, and
they were up on the wall by onthe kitchen it was do the right
thing. Tell the truth. Andbehind those, like, for me, that
was such a simple thing. It'slike everything else, you know,
any situation can fall withinthose rules, like did you do the
right thing where you kinda didtell the truth? And, you know,
(34:11):
so how you've talked a littlebit about the adult work that
you've done with with adults?
How do you see this comingforward in children and giving
more resources to our youth?
Rachel Allen (34:24):
I'm hopeful, you know, I see a lot more. I see a
lot more openings for kids tolearn more about mindfulness and
their belief systems. I haven'tbeen a big fan of a lot of the
bullying programs are inschools, because I think that
(34:45):
they teach very, like surfacebehavior types of things. And
they use things like slogans,and they don't necessarily
connect to belief systems. Sothat that I'm seeing a little
bit of a shift from that, whichI think is, you know, helpful. I
mean, I think big You know,we've known for years
psychologically, that punishmentand reward is not like a belief
(35:08):
system changer. But yet we stillsee those types of things in a
lot of in our criminal justicesystem and schools. And so I,
you know, I think that there'sa, you know, I see some openings
for that with with moremindfulness oriented things. I
think a lot of young people haveopportunities for service that I
(35:32):
think are great that we didn'thave a lot of that when I was
younger, and I see like in ourschool district, which is school
district that has a lot ofpoverty, and challenges. I love
that the two service clubs inour school district are so
active, and they're servingtheir own community. They're not
like, here I am in the wealthycommunity coming down to serve
(35:54):
the poor people. These are like,the students are like, these are
the people these are my, this ismy family. This is my neighbor.
And it's to me there's there'ssuch an enthusiasm in the young
people that are in those serviceclubs, because they're serving
their own people. They alreadyknow what their needs are, they
don't need somebody else fromlike an ivory tower to come in
and tell them what their needsare. They already know that. And
(36:17):
they're, they're meeting theircommunity. I love that. I think
that's so powerful.
Josh Meeder (36:24):
Well, the the aspect of service, there was a
book, it's not about you by TomRath, that was just a phenomenal
book, a man who had all sorts ofhealth problems. And when you go
into service or support of otherit's amazing how the attitude,
the perspectives, and justactually the quality and well
(36:44):
being in your own health canshift. Yeah, so right, so good.
Have those those available tokids? Right. And to adults?
Let's be frank, for everyone inthe service of others.
Rachel Allen (36:56):
Right, right. And it can be humbling. I know, with
the heart when I'm working withpatients, sometimes what works
for people, especially ifthey're in a lot of pain, or if
they're actively dying, isplaying three notes. So you
know, you have to get out ofyour head and be like, I need to
make this sound great. Becausethese people are sitting here in
the room and I'm playing threenotes. And they're probably
(37:16):
like, what's going on with thisharp player? Doesn't she know
how to use her instrument? Butyou know, if you pay attention
to this, you know, have you payattention to what's needed? And
you don't bring your ownprojections on there, which is
really difficult. Really be ofservice but if you're doing it
because you want validated or anaward or sticker or you know, it
(37:40):
yucky? Is it up a bit?
Josh Meeder (37:42):
Yep. Beautiful, humble. Curiosity is a great
entry point to about anysituation, right? So you so your
book is out, we'll share howpeople can get access to this
book. My favorite power passagesis the closing passage, the
daily blessings. And I just Ilove this, Rachael, if you'll
(38:05):
bear with me, I'd like to readthis to the audience. So this is
a daily blessing. May you begineach day with a curious mind and
an open heart. May the end ofthe day find you with your
integrity intact. May yourecognize longing as the soul's
desire to evolve. May you valueabsurdity in the sacred in equal
(38:26):
measures. And may you allowyourself to be held blessed and
illuminated. So be it So may itbe in Rachel that I just that
resonated with me, specificallythe point of valuing absurdity
in the sacred in equal measures.
Because without the long storythat that just landed and
(38:48):
because it is such a beautifulsacred gift that we have in this
life, and it's also absurd inthe whole scheme of the length
of time of the planet, so wehave to be intentional and we
can't take ourselves tooseriously and that just summed
it up so so well.
Rachel Allen (39:06):
Right right. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah, I love
absurdity
Josh Meeder (39:14):
we should have t shirts practice absurdity, let's
start the movement. All right.
So with our absurdity practicealready in and I very cautious
on throwing ideas out with youbecause I know you are a dynamo
and a powerhouse and amanifester of epic proportions.
So when the book is out, we'llshare that in the link but
(39:34):
you're also working on acompanion piece for this right
what's coming up with thisextension.
Rachel Allen (39:42):
So I'm basically sharing my process and and it'll
show up in the form of the bookis in three parts. And it'll
show up with a preparatorypractice how I how to gather
support, gathering from thehave, you know connecting to
your values connecting to theteachings and the wisdom that
(40:04):
inform you, which might be verydifferent from mine. So I'm not
telling people what their valuesare, but I'm inviting them to
explore that. And then, youknow, the exploration of all of
these different parts, theexploration of what is the
exploration of liminal spacelook like it through like a
practice, and then maybe somequestions to go deeper and then,
(40:26):
and then having the blessing. SoSo sort of looking at it, some
of my process and invitingpeople to explore that as a
practice they could, they couldcertainly do it is like a whole
experience, they could you know,the preparatory one, I think, is
one, I draw from one of my mainteachers, Joanna Macy, and
(40:48):
another Buddhist teacher, Lama,Rod Owens. And it's a really
lovely practice where you drawin your support to draw in the
teachers, the mentors, and youcan even imagine them walking
beside you looking in your eyeswanting your hand, you draw in
the teachings that you'vemetabolized and integrated, you
know, not thinking about like,here's the quote, but but, you
(41:09):
know, things that have landed inyour body, dwelling on your your
lineage, whether that be yourblood lineage, your chosen
lineage of like, for me, it'speople that work with music and
words and movement. You drawupon your ecosystem, you know,
the ecosystem that you you areforged from, and you do that
(41:30):
work from this place of havingthat support with you, you know,
and which can be really, reallyhelpful when we're dealing with
challenging emotions. This isn'ta substitute for therapy or
mental health intervention, butit can be a complement to
dealing with challenging things.
I think the liminal the blessingfor liminal space, um, like
we're still, you know, we'restill in liminal space, like
(41:51):
work, you know, but it also likelooking at that, like threshold
time is seen in so many culturesis sacred. So what can we bring
into that so so it's sort oflike diving a little bit like
into what produced theblessings, my process, giving
specific practices and grace.
People could do them in a group,they could do them as stand
(42:12):
alones, if they're, I'msuggesting if they did in the
standalones, to do thepreparatory one with the
supports for each, you know,process. It'll be one that
people can use in workshops orclasses, or however they want to
use it, I'll probably guide forself
Josh Meeder (42:29):
or for their practice, whatever their
practice may be to help.
Rachel Allen (42:32):
Right, right. If people could do it in as
individuals, they could do it incommunity, you know, whatever.
However, that shows up forpeople and I'll have that
available as a free PDF on mywebsite.
Josh Meeder (42:45):
Okay, we'll put all the links to your contact,
you'll be able to find Rachel inthe description here. The book
blessings beyond bypass, firstbook out from seed House press,
which just want to throw alittle congratulations out to
see how seedhouse press andacknowledge Kimberly MC L.
Hatton, who helped bring thisbook forward with you. It's her
(43:10):
dream, Kimberly is a goodfriend. She's also a integral
part of my business. And she's awriting coach in her own own
right. So a little shout out toSteve Howe House Press. Rachel,
is there anything you'd like toleave us with here this
afternoon.
Rachel Allen (43:29):
I just really appreciated the conversation.
And I'm really blessed. I've hadpeople share with me how they've
been using the book. So that tome is really helpful. Not just
like, hey, I read your book, itwas great. But this is how I,
you know, I used your book, oneperson, I do consulting work for
(43:50):
a long term care facility. Andone of the people who she's
actually moving to another job,but she's like, I used your book
to help me to practicediscernment with my process. And
that was really, I really was soappreciative of that. And that's
the intention is for this to bea tool, you know, maybe some for
(44:10):
some folks will be a one anddone, you know, and that was
great. Let me put it on thefile. But I'm hoping that it can
be a tool and then with thefacilitators guide, even, you
know, to dig even a littledeeper with it. So I'm grateful
to seedhouse press two becauseKim, always Kim's like, Okay,
now you need a facilitator Skye,because we're always talking
about my process. She's like,people need to know that. This
(44:32):
is helpful. So I love Kim fromseedhouse press has been such an
integral part of my developmentas a writer, you know, I came to
her as a blogger and havepublished now on at least half a
dozen platforms and I've like abyline with an international
blog team and you know, she'sshe's just really good at like,
(44:53):
you supporting me in my process.
Okay, I know you can dive alittle deeper Rachel, go for it.
So
Josh Meeder (45:00):
Well, I am grateful for both of you. But
specifically you, Rachel, forall that you're doing here in
the community in in the world.
The book, blessings beyond myPASS is available, I highly
recommend it. And I'll share thestory I told Rachel, I'm not a
book reader. I love audiobooks,but I'm just not a book reader.
So I'm like, I got to do theresearch. And I'll tell you what
(45:21):
I dove in it is an easy read. Itis so natural, and I can't
recommend it enough. So go out,get your copy. There's
instructions on how to use it.
You can do it all at once. Youcan do it in daily chunks. But
the best thing to do is open itup and just get started. It's a
wonderful book. It is needed inthese times. And again, Rachel,
(45:45):
thank you for the time I lookforward to seeing what's coming
next and the next time we canplay or dance together again.
Absolutely. Thank you. Thank youfor watching. If you liked what
you saw, be sure to hit thatlike and subscribe button right
now. Stay tuned and check outthe channel for other
(46:06):
interesting and informativevideos.
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