How To Commit Adultery | Week 3 | Bad Advice

 In this episode of Bad Advice, we tackle one of the most significant relationship pitfalls: adultery. Discover practical ways to guard your marriage, avoid harmful paths, and embrace the healing and grace God provides. This heartfelt message offers hope, wisdom, and actionable insights for couples at any stage of life. 

Episode Transcript

Greater Guild Announcer (00:03):
Welcome to the Greater Guild loading
screen, where faith meets reallife and equips you for the
journey ahead. In today'sepisode, we continue our series
Bad Advice with a powerfulmessage titled, How to Commit
Adultery. Wait. Don't worry.It's not what it sounds like.
Pastor Brandon Holm will walk usthrough the subtle traps that

(00:23):
can undermine our relationshipsand reveal God's timeless wisdom
for protecting and restoringthem. Whether you're single,
married, or somewhere inbetween, this episode is packed
with practical insights and hopefilled encouragement. Stick
around because what you're aboutto hear could change the way you
approach love, trust, andcommitment.

Pastor Brandon Holm (00:49):
Greetings, brave adventurers and defenders
of the light. Today, we embarkon a mission to expose a
sinister trap made by ourspiritual adversary. Perhaps so
subtle, yet devastating, that ithas claimed many lives leaving
families, communities, and evenguilds in ruins. Our series, bad
advice, continues with a topicthat no one plans for, but many

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fall into, Adultery. Strange isit that how nobody boldly
declares my life's goal is tobetray my spouse.
Destroy trust and invite chaosinto the home. Okay. Overacting,
you know, fatner style, butstatistics reveal a grim

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reality. According to manystudies, about 65% of husbands
and 55% of wives will commitadultery at some point. Now,
even though 90% of people,regardless of religious
background, agree it's wrong,this issue persists.
And today, we'll dive into thisdeception. Exposing its

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strategies and outcomes whileuncovering the tools God gives
us to combat it. So buckle up,heroes. We're venturing into the
dark corners of bad advice toshine the light of truth. Now,
if you want to embrace badadvice and destroy a marriage,
the first step is simple.
Neglect it. It's easier thancrafting a legendary weapon, and

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just focus on something,anything else. Perhaps it's your
job or a hobby, social media, oreven your children. Pour your
energy elsewhere while lettingyour marriage drift. Neglecting
your marriage isn't just aboutbusyness.
It's about misplaced priorities.As Proverbs 423 warns, keep your

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heart with all vigilance, orfrom it flows the spring of
light. Neglecting your marriagemeans neglecting the heart of
your covenant. Allow intimacy toerode. Let communication fade
like an outdated NPC dialoguetree.
Avoid meaningful conversations,instead keeping interactions

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mundane, predictable, anduninspired. Make every moment
with your spouse feeltransactional rather than a
relational. If this approachseems absurd, remember, it's bad
advice. Scripture calls us to ahigher standard. Ephesians 525
commands, husbands, love yourwives as Christ loved the church

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and gave himself himself up forher.
Neglecting your marriage alsoinvolves abandoning the small
acts of kindness that nurtureconnection. Forget to ask about
your spouse's day. Skip gesturesof appreciation, and stop
expressing love. Over time,these emissions become gaping

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void, creating space forresentment and isolation.
Lastly, neglect isn't limited towhat you don't do.
It's also about what you allow.Introduce distractions that pull
you away, whether it's excessivescreen time, unless hours at
work, or constant engagementwith hobbies that exclude your

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partner. Each choice toprioritize something else over
your spouse adds weight to thedrift. As Hebrews 13:4 reminds
us, let marriage be held inhonor among all, and let the
marriage bed be undefiled forGod will judge the sexually
immoral and adulterous. Whenneglect enters, dishonor

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follows.
Another strategy for courtingdisaster is to find someone
outside your marriage with whomyou can form a deep emotional
bond. Spend time together, sharevulnerabilities, and create
moments of connection. Emotionalintimacy can appear harmless at
first, but its power to erodethe foundation of a marriage is

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immense. Rationalize, it's justa friendly support. Just the
subtle shift of affection beginsto take root.
Think on Matthew 528 where Jesussays, but I say to you that
anyone who looks at a woman withlustful intent has already
committed adultery with her inhis heart. Now modern

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distractions make this stepdeceptively easy. Social media,
workplace connections, andcasual chats can transform into
something far more significantwhen boundaries are not
respected. Proverbs 5:8 advises,keep your way far from her, and
do not go near the door of herhouse. It's a call to vigilance,

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warning us to set clear linesthat cannot be crossed.
Emotional bonds often growthrough shared experiences,
working on projects together,exchanging life stories, and or
confiding struggles. Each momentdeepens a connection that was
never meant to exist outside ofyour merit. Guard your heart by

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ensuring those connections areredirected back to your spouse
who is your god given partner.To avoid this, take proactive
steps. Limit privateconversations with members of
the opposite set, especiallywith those that veer into
personal or emotional topics.
Be transparent with their spouseabout your friendships and
interactions. Let them be yourconfidant, your partner in all

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things, instead of allowinganother to fill that space.
Flirtation, even as it in itsmildest form, is a slippery
slope. A playful message, alingering glance, an inside joke
can easily spark somethingunintended. As long as Solomon
215 warns, catch the foxes forus, the little foxes that spoil

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the vineyards, for our vineyardsare in blossom.
These small actions seeminsignificant, but can devastate
a thriving relationship.Ultimately, emotional bonds
outside marriage underminetrust, a core pillar of any
relationship. Rebuilding thattrust is far more difficult than

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resisting the initialtemptation. Respect your
marriage by recognizing theearly signs and choosing to
uphold your covenant, notjeopardize it. And the final
step is to rationalize andjustify your behavior.
Start by assigning blame. Blameyour spouse for not meeting your
needs emotionally, physically,or otherwise. Convince yourself

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that their perceivedshortcomings give you the right
to seek fulfillment elsewhere.This justification can feel
deceptively valid. Yet Proverbs1412 warns, there is a way that
seems right to a man, but itsend is the way to death.
Tell yourself that you deservehappiness at any cost. Twist

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scripture to fit your narrativesaying, God wants me to be happy
even if it means breaking thecovenant he values so deeply.
Rationalization often includesreframing the situation to
appear inevitable or evendivinely orchestrated.
Suggesting this new relationshipmust be God's will. These lies

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grow in empowered the more theyare repeated.
Yet another key tactic tominimize the significance of
your actions. Instead thatinsist that flirting is
harmless, or that emotionalconnections don't really count
as betrayal. Gradually pushboundaries where convincing
yourself you've done nothingwrong. James 1 14 through 15

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reveals the danger of thismindset. But each person is
tempted when he is lured andenticed by his own desire.
Then desire when it hasconceived gives birth to sin,
and sin when it is fully grownbrings forth death. Finally,

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create a narrative where theblame lies entirely outside
yourself. Rationalize that newrelationship as destiny, that
your marriage was a mistake, orthat no one understands your
situation. You know,gaslighting. These falsehoods
not only justify sin, but alsoblind you to its consequences.

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Excuses don't erase thedevastation. They deepen the
wound, shatter trust, and createa chasm between you and God.
Recognizing and rejecting theserationalizations is the first
step towards restoration andhonoring the commitments you
made before him. So now thatwe've identified the path of

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destruction, let's chart a newcourse. Here are 3 steps to
safeguard your marriage andhonor guard.
First one is, you know,radically reduce the risk.
Paul's advice in 1st Corinthians6 18 is clear. Bleed from sexual
immorality. Every other sin aperson commits is outside the

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body, but the sexually immoralperson sins against his own
body. Unlike other sins, sexualsin uniquely impacts the body
and soul.
We must proactively avoidsituations that foster
temptation. Proverbs 5:8, again,reminds us to keep your way far

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from her, and do not go near thedoor of her house. Practical
measures that includeestablishing establishing clear
boundaries with the oppositesense. Be upfront about these
boundaries and commit up committo upholding them in every
interaction. Surroundings ofself with strong Christ centered
relationships, fellowship withothers who honor God will God

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will encourage you to maintainintegrity and provide
accountability.
Never speaking negatively aboutyour spouse. Words have power.
Use them to build up yourpartner rather than tear them
down. Ephesians 429 says, let nocorrupting talk come out of your
mouths, but only such is as isgood for building up as fits the

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occasion that may give grace tothose who hear. You know,
avoiding environments thatpromote temptation.
Proactively identifying riskysituations and choose to steer
clear of them. This may includework trips, late night
gatherings, or social mediaconnections that encourage
unhealthy dynamics. Now,sometimes you can avoid many of

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these things, but try your bestto set up in those sit
situations you cannot avoid,where you have people with you
who know you and who will keepyou from those temptations. A
second action is investpassionately in your marriage.
Proverbs 5 18 to 19 encouragesus.

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Let your fountain be blessed andrejoice in the wife of your
youth. A lovely dearer, gracefuldoe. Let her breast fill you at
all times with delight. Beintoxicated always in her love.
Now, in Hebrew, the word forintoxicated suggest being
enraptured or consumed with loveor your spouse.

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Water your marriage withintentional time, sharing
experiences and spiritualintimacy. Reignite romance
through date nights, sharedhobbies, or even simply David
simple daily rituals likemorning coffee together. Praying
together strengthens not onlyyour marriage, but your
connection to God. If the grasslooks greener elsewhere, it's

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time to water your own yard.Invest consistently and lavishly
in your relationship and to getto keep it thriving.
And 3rd, visualize theconsequences. Proverbs 5 3
through 5 paints a stark pictureof adultery's aftermath. For the
lips of a forbidden woman driphoney, and her speech is

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smoother than oil. But at but inthe end, she is bitter as
wormwood, sharp as a 2 edgedsword. Her feet go down to
death.
Her steps follow the path toshale. And for for those of you,
shale has been translated eitherthe underworld or hell. Okay. It
depends on what translation youget, but shale is basically the

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underworld or hell. Imagine thedevastation that comes with
betrayal.
Visualize the broken trunks, thedamaged reputation, and the
immense pain inflicted on lovedone. Allow those thoughts to
reinforce your commitment tofaithfulness. Meditate on the
joy and peace that comes from agod honoring marriage instead of

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succumbing to fleetingtemptations. For those of you
who have fallen or have beenhurt by adultery, and I'm a
victim of adultery. My firstwife committed it, both and
that's why I'm divorced, and I'mvery happy that I'm remarried.
I want you to know this. God'sgrace is greater than any sin.

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2nd Timothy 2:13 assures us, ifwe are faithless, he remains
faithful or he cannot he for hecannot deny himself. Now, funny
thing is what people don'tunderstand is God specializes in
restoration, taking what theenemy meant for harm and turning
it for good. God's grace beginswith repentance.

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A heartfelt turning away fromsin and towards him. Repentance
is not merely feeling sorry.It's a decision to change the
direction in line with God'salign with God's truth. First
John 1 through 9 reminds us, ifwe confess our sins, he is
faithful and just to forgive usour sins and to cleanse us from

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all unrighteousness. No matterhow far you've wandered, his
forgiveness is immediate andcomplete.
Now healing also involvesforgiveness, both receiving it
from God and offering it toothers. If you've been
portrayed, forgiveness does notmean forgetting the pain or

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excusing the offense. Look. Iforgiven my ex wife
wholeheartedly, but I will neverforget the pain, and I don't
excuse it. So with that,instead, you know, this whole
thing about forgiveness, it's adeliberate act of releasing

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bitterness and allowing God'sjustice to prevail.
Colossians 39, 313 says, bearingwith one another. And if one has
a complaint against another,forgiving each other as the Lord
has forgiven you, so you alsomust forgive. In offering

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forgiveness, you feel your ownheart. You you really do free
your own heart from the chainsof resentment. It took me a
while, you know, about 4 or 5years, but, yeah, it really
does.
Restoration is a process thatoften requires time and effort.
Like I said, it's a process. Soyou're gonna have to give it

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time. You're but you're alsogonna have put effort into
restoring yourself. But Godprovides the strength to rebuild
what was broken.
Psalm 143 declares, he heals thebrokenhearted and binds up their
room wounds. And I'll tell you,it's powerful. Because through

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prayer, counseling, and acommunity of believers,
restoration becomes possible.The enemy enemy may seek to
destroy, but God's power toredeem is just greater. Finally,
God's grace offers hope to forthe future.
Isaiah 43, 18, 19 says, remembernot the former things, nor

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consider the things of old.Behold. I am doing a new thing.
Now, it springs forth. Do younot perceive it?
I will make a way in thewilderness and rivers in the
desert. No better the failuresof the past. God invites you to
step into a renewed future withhim. His faithfulness never

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wavers, and his plans for youremain filled with purpose and
hope. Now adultery isn't aninevitability.
It really is a choice. And Ihave been tempted on many
occasions, but I choose not tobecause my wife's more important
for me. My kids are moreimportant to me. My relationship

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with others is more important tome, but my relationship with God
is just as strong if notstronger than anything else. And
this choice is one that can beprevented through vigilance,
investment, and reliance onGod's power.
Recognize that a strong marriagedoesn't happen by accident, but

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through deliberate effort andtrust in God's guidance. Protect
what God has entrusted to you bywalking in obedience and
prioritizing the sacredness ofyour covenant. Let the principle
shared today. Serve as both ashield and a compass. Guarding
your relationship from harmwhile guiding it towards greater

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intimacy and unity.
Reflect on the importance ofyour vows and the blessings that
have come from a life alignedwith God's truth. Choose daily
to honor those commitments. Andin doing so, reflect the
faithfulness of Christ in awatching world. Through God's
grace, every marriage has thepotential to flourish and

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overcome even the greatestchallenges. With dedication,
wisdom, and his unendingfaithfulness, we can stand firm
honoring him in all we do.

Greater Guild Announcer (19:22):
Thanks for joining us on this journey
through today's message, How toCommit Adultery, part of our
series Bad Advice. We hope thisepisode has challenged you to
reflect on your relationshipsand equipped you with practical
tools to protect and strengththem. Remember, no matter where
you've been or what you'vefaced, God's grace is bigger,

(19:42):
and His plans for you are good.If this message encouraged you,
be sure to subscribe and shareit with someone who could use
it. For more faith basedinsights and content, follow us
at The Greater Guild Church onall social platforms.
Until next time, stay strong,stay faithful, and let God guide
your steps.