November 18, 2020 • 60 mins
From his earliest memories, Brian Williams knew he was adopted. It was simply a part of who he was, and in fact made him feel special. As time passed, naturally Brian started to have thoughts and questions about this known, yet mysterious part of his life. And when he began having some health issues later in life, his sisters bought him a DNA kit and soon after discovering the results, a whole new world expanded right before his eyes.
In this episode Brian shares his story of adoption and how the process of finding his birth mother filled in the missing pieces he didn't even know existed.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You're listening to the group, uh, Devin Pence.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey guys.
Welcome back to the grouppodcast.
Thanks for jumping back in.
We had to take a little bit of abreak due to some work
requirements and a little thingcalled the pandemic.
But nevertheless, here we are,and we're starting season two,
and we're very excited aboutthat.
A couple of quick notes beforewe jump into this episode, this
season, it will be yours trulyhosting.
(00:34):
It was great having Reggie forseason one, but he's really
taking off with his brand overon Facebook.
I think he's got a couple oflive shows over there.
Now he has a new blog group andhe's doing a lot of cool stuff
with his music.
So be sure to head over toFacebook and check out what
Richie ham is doing.
And you never know.
He may surprise us and pop in ona couple of episodes in season
(00:54):
two.
I'm still very excited tocontinue bringing you guys
stories.
You know, we've all been throughsome very challenging times
these past several months, but alot of times I think challenging
times offer up opportunities forovercoming things and rising
above more than anything wethought we could ever do before.
And we can still find ways tomove forward in a positive
(01:15):
direction, even through thestruggles.
And my goal is to keep talkingto people and give them a chance
to share their stories becauseeveryone has one.
And I think as we move throughthis season, you're going to
hear some really cool,interesting and inspiring
stories.
Speaking of my first guest forseason two is Brian Williams,
(01:36):
man, he's got an incrediblestory and I'm super excited to
share it with you guys.
But before we jump into thisepisode, here's a little bit
about Brian.
He began his career specializingin developing multi-platform
marketing campaigns for featurefilms.
Now for more than 10 years, he'sbeen a leading figure in brand
integration and digitalmarketing.
(01:56):
Brian's been a part of formingstrategic partnerships with
several major studios and hasradically grown the product
integration space across allforms of media, including film,
television, video games, liveevents and web series.
Currently Brian is the founderof it.
City entertainment.
Be sure to head over to thegroove podcast.com to check out
(02:17):
more about Brian and hisepisode.
We'll have the show notes withlinks to where he can be found
as well as some cool picturesfrom the episode that you're
about to hear.
And without further ado, let'shop into this episode with
Brian.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
All right,
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Welcome guys to the group podcast.
And I'm excited today to haveBrian Williams on the show.
So welcome Brian.
Glad to be here.
Thanks Devin.
Thank you for doing this.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh, you're a very, very busy guy.
One of the busiest people.
I know, actually there's a fewpeople who tell me that, uh,
just real quickly.
Um, can you just kind ofintroduce yourself a little bit
and tell everybody what you doand kind of why you do it?
Sure.
Well, I, in entertainment
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And what I do is basically help content creators,
figure out the best vehicle todevelop and distribute their
product that could be televisionproperty or film, or even a new
media enterprise.
And, uh, I do it because Ireally enjoy taking the
(03:25):
creativity that somebody elsehas put into a story and helping
it to find an audience.
I really enjoy that process ofcreating connections between,
uh, creatives and consumers.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
That's awesome.
So basically, uh, without guyslike you guys like me who make
things, nothing would ever getseen or heard?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, I, I, yeah.
I mean, I guess that is sort ofthe role we've feel, you know, I
live here in Nashville now, butmy career was started in Los
Angeles and there is a huge poolof really talented people here.
And it's writers, storytellers,musicians, uh, even directors,
(04:17):
producers, um, but there's not athick pipeline in distribution
in this part of the country.
So there's all the stuff thatgets created and then it kind of
circles around and never finds ahome.
And so sometimes you have tothink outside of the box and try
to figure out how do we getthis, the attention that it
(04:40):
needs and how do we sell it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah.
And it's, and certainly pre Idon't even what you want to call
it pandemic.
Let's just call it the prepandemic days.
It was challenging enough.
Um, I think we've all seen somany different things change and
we as, uh, you know, as humansand as survivalists, I guess if
(05:05):
you will, those of us who arefreelance and have our own
companies and that sort ofthing, and even, even larger
companies, obviously you have tofind a new way forward and a new
way to survive and has a lot todo with not only, you know,
having good business practices,but also surrounding yourself
(05:25):
with good people and people thatare able to persevere through a
lot of these challenges andthings.
And, and let's jump into, youknow, one thing that we talk
about a lot on the group areinspirational stories.
Our lives are kind of made uparound work and what we do for a
living and that kind of thing.
And, and, but there's a personalside that affects everything and
(05:49):
full disclosure, you know, youand I have worked together.
We've known each other forseveral years and worked
together on a few things andhopefully working on the process
of working together again soon.
And I guess it was last year,Brian, you can correct me if I'm
wrong.
We were talking on the phone oneday and you kind of dropped some
(06:12):
incredible news just outside ofwork.
And I'd love for you to sharethat story with the listeners if
you will.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Oh yeah.
I'd love to it's I enjoy talkingabout this more than almost
anything.
It's a pretty great story that Ican't take that much credit for,
uh, which those are the bestkind.
So, uh, I was adopted and, uh,what I knew about my own story
(06:45):
was that my, uh, that I was bornand let's say an ambulance born
in an ambulance.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
That's a great, let's start there for an ambulance
Speaker 4 (07:01):
And brought to the hospital.
And when I got there, um, what Iwas always told was that my
birth mother mentioned to someof the nurses that she wanted to
give this baby up for adoption.
(07:22):
I mean, it just so happened thatmy grandmother was a nurse, not
my biological grandmother, butmy adoptive parents adoptive
father's mom.
She was a nurse and had told allthe OB nurses that if anybody
ever came in wanting to give thebaby up for adoption, then to
call her.
(07:43):
So she came down to the OB and,um, at that point, net my
biological mother andgrandparents, they then called
my mom and dad and said, Hey,there's a baby here.
(08:04):
Why don't you come see in?
So they came to the hospital andthe way I always knew it is two
days later, I went home withthem.
And, you know, I have one ofthose stories where I never had
any sort of dramatic momentwhere my parents sat me down and
(08:25):
said, Hey, we've, we've gotsomething to tell you.
Um, you're adopted, it'ssomething I've always known
because they, you know, told mebefore I could speak.
I remember I had this book thatsaid that was called.
Why was I adopted?
And, um, it was a picture bookyou'd read through and hear the
(08:48):
sweet little story about how,you know, uh, it was loved by my
birth mother, but, um, maybe shehad some difficult circumstances
and now I'm with a family thatloves me and narrative
Speaker 3 (09:05):
New, almost as learning to talk, walk, you
know, just as part of yourcognitive, you know, initial
learnings, this was just allpart of the story and scene and
was just part of who you were
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Part of, who I was felt totally normal.
Um, if anything, it was likesomething that made me a little
different or special.
Um, and I got to tell ya thatwas the way to do it.
I mean, it, I think drasticallyreduced any trauma or even, um,
(09:42):
deep abandoned issues oranything like that.
Um, but as I got older, um, Ibegan to get curious about that.
Um, and I, I would often thinkabout what an encounter with my
birth mother would be like, whatwould I say, what would I ask?
(10:05):
Or
Speaker 3 (10:07):
How well would you say you were when you started
feeling that
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Maybe about 11 or 12.
Alright, so pretty young, youknow?
Yeah.
Pretty young.
I, about two years after I wasadopted, my mother had an
operation and she was able tohave two biological children of
her own.
So I had grew up with twoyounger sisters, um, and we sort
(10:36):
of even looked alike, uh, atleast enough for nobody really
would question whether or not wewere all from the same family.
Um, but there, there wascuriosities.
And I think a lot of it wasbecause the story was always the
(10:56):
same and it was always realshort.
And I just knew there had to bemore,
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I think that was your adoptive parents saw their
initial kind of strategy.
If you will, you know, wouldn'tcall it a strategy, but letting
you in on this from thebeginning.
And then all of a sudden, wait asecond, Oh, now he's asking
questions.
You know, what are we going tosay?
Let's keep it short and sweetkind of thing.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Uh, yeah, maybe there's a little bit of that.
I think it mostly came from areally good place, which was
just that, you know, where areyour parents?
We love you as much as we wouldlove any child.
And what else is there to knowwhat else matters?
(11:52):
Okay.
And I think it was more out ofwanting to protect their own
emotions.
Um, like for example, I I'dasked my mom from time to time
questions and I could tell thatjust the questions were
(12:15):
uncomfortable and, and maybeeven hurt her feelings a little
bit.
Um, I understand more of thatnow at the time it was just
like, this is obviously painfuland I didn't want to cause pain.
Uh, so I, so I stopped askingquestions until I got older.
(12:39):
Um, and, and like I said, now, Ifeel like I've got a better
understanding of where that camefrom.
It turns out that my biologicalmother and my half brother
lived, you know, a block and ahalf from where I grew up, that
(12:59):
my mom knew that.
And she, she, she just, she wasalways so worried that, you
know, somehow, um, my birthmother would change her mind or
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Ring the doorbell.
Hey, I was just walking aroundthe block and want to see my
son.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, you got it.
So I have better context of thatnow.
And then what happened is, youknow, uh, got, you know, got
married and, uh, we had ourfirst child and I remember being
in that hospital and my daughterbeing born in and just being
(13:43):
overwhelmed by that moment andthinking to myself, there's no
way that this is something thatyou can go through, you know,
carrying a child for nine monthsand then the birth experience
and not have some sort ofattachment or, um, just a desire
(14:09):
to want to know and protect anyof your children.
Um, and that gave me even adeeper desire to, to really just
want to have that moment where Icould say to my birth mother,
Hey, uh, I had great parents.
I, I'm not looking for another,uh, parent, but I, I just want
(14:33):
to say thank you for caring mefor nine months.
Um, and making sure I got to theright place, uh, in case you
ever wondered if that was a gooddecision, it was thanks.
You know, I, I didn't reallyhave any expectation of a
relationship.
So I would say I started lookingin my early twenties, um, could
(14:56):
never find anybody or mybiological mother, uh, with the
information I had.
And
Speaker 3 (15:08):
They were limiting your, your information.
Do you think to kind of keep youfrom, I mean, having her a ride
around the block, your motherknew that, or your, your
adoptive mother knew that.
And I, and I'm sure that, thatit was, like you said, how
unnerving it would be to, um,cause I have some other friends,
(15:30):
who've multiple friends who havegone through the adoption
process and, and you've, youknow, there's the private
adoption or the open adoptionthat various types of adoptions,
our mutual friend, Reggie ham,you know, he adopted his child
from China, no chance.
And you know, of any, you know,uh, run bumping into her, her
(15:53):
mother somewhere, right.
Or somebody that lives inanother, another state or even
another, you know, anothercountry or whatever.
But I can't imagine the angst,your adoptive parents must've
felt knowing your birth motherwas just sort of a block and a
half away.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah.
I think that played a biggerfactor, especially for my mom.
Then she might've even knownherself.
Um, there was a lot of stories.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You mean your birth mom?
You think, you think your birthmom knew that you were right
around the block?
No.
Okay.
I don't think I missed that.
Okay.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Okay.
I'm pretty sure she, she didn'trealize how close they were.
My mom is now pretty sure shesaw my brother and either her or
another woman, um, just taking awalk one day.
(16:58):
And, um, she had a hard timewith that.
She kinda freaked out about it,but I can imagine.
Yeah, I, I understand therewere, there were some cases in
the eighties where, because ofthe way the laws were at the
time, you know, you'd havesomebody give a child up for
(17:21):
adoption.
And then sometimes, you know, ayear later more, they come back
and change their mind and it gothrough the courts.
And then this child was rippedout of one home and put in
another.
And I think she had a real fearabout that because of those
(17:42):
stories.
And just, again, them being insuch close proximity, I found
out after, after being able tohear directly from my birth
mother, that, um, the day thatshe met my birth mother, when I
(18:03):
was born and in the hospital,um, she saw her and made the
commitment that she was nevergoing to, she's never going to
interfere or do anything thatwould, um, jeopardize the
(18:28):
relationship between me and myparents and she never did.
So I think my mom still heldthose spheres.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Interesting walk, walk us through the process of
kind of fast forwarding, alittle bit of the discovery and
where your birth mother was andkind of the process.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah.
Which is the greatest.
So I, I had this echo in my ear,it was some sort of nerve
damage.
So I started going to somedoctors and your nose and throat
and audiologist and neurologist.
And every time I'd go and seesomeone they'd ask me about my
(19:17):
family medical history.
And I got tired of not beingable to answer that question.
And I remember being on thephone with my sisters and just
kind of complaining about that.
Like chase, be nice to know ifthere's something I should be
worried about are going to dropdead at 50 or something.
(19:40):
Um, so for Christmas theydecided to get me the, uh, 23
and me genetic tests that hadthe house scan.
And, uh, so that man, I don'tknow.
I just, I got that thing.
I didn't even think about it.
I thought, Oh, I'm going tolearn all these new traits, uh,
(20:02):
about myself and whether or notI'm a carrier for anything.
And this'll be great.
So I got the results in Januaryand, um, I'm looking through and
I'm like, what year was this?
This was January, 2019.
(20:24):
And, uh, the, the upside was, asfar as my genetics are
concerned, they're in real goodshape.
And, uh,
Speaker 3 (20:34):
And you're not wanted for any, you're not wanting for
any outstanding murders that arein the DNA database base files
would, that's also a goodrelief.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
We'll save that for another episode.
Anyway, we ended up goingthrough this report, getting to
the end where it lists your DNArelatives.
And it said I had 1500 of them.
Um, I mean, I just rememberbeing shocked like, Oh, this is
(21:08):
just here.
And so then it kind of puts itin the order from the person you
share the most DNA with untilthe least.
And I had three first cousinslisted at the top and one of
them had a pretty unique name.
So I mean, I had their names andeverything.
(21:29):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
Full name.
Uh, which I thought about a lotsince then about, you know, what
about all these people who didnegotiate closer, the options?
Um, you know, what about, um,situations where, you know, you
were just a sperm donor, youknow, looking for extra cash
(21:53):
during college, um, that wassupposed to be anonymous.
Now you might have kids runningaround everywhere, 300 kids,
your name.
Yeah.
I put this first cousin nameinto Facebook and she popped up
immediately and she was like 31years old at this point I was
(22:16):
39.
And, um, I clicked on her.
I said, well, hi, not good.
See, I can see some similaritythere.
And, uh, looked at her about, Isaw that she had a grandfather
listed, listed.
I clicked him.
He had five daughters listed.
One of them had the first nameof my birth mother.
(22:40):
Oh man.
So I clicked it and it was like,my heart stopped.
Uh, just I saw her face.
I saw myself.
I, I knew wow.
And I, I, I immediately saw thatwe had a mutual friend listed
(23:01):
and it was the same guy that waslisted as a mutual friend on my
grandfather's Facebook page.
And he was a guy that I knewfairly well.
Uh, we, he, he was, uh, um, headof business of Mela development
for a, um, automotive group inthe San Fernando Valley.
(23:23):
And they were a client of thecompany I worked for.
And I thought, how does he knowboth my grandfather and my birth
mother?
And it turns out that my motherworked for the same automotive
group and my grandfather hadbeen the CFO of that company
(23:45):
since like 1974.
Um, and of course this, thiscompany, uh, Galpin is, um, a
huge car dealership that was inthe San Fernando Valley, right
near where I grew up.
Uh, I drive by it every singleday on my way to work.
(24:09):
Um, my company did business withthat company, or I had been
there, uh, met the executiveteam before.
Um, so it was shock
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Shocking there.
I think we might've talked aboutthis before, so there's actually
a chance that you met yourgrandfather and didn't know it
like you're in the same room ifhe was on the exec committee.
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I'm pretty sure we did.
Uh, my sister and I, along withour CEO, took a tour and of the,
of the whole, uh, dealership.
And I remember going into theseoffices and, um, shaking hands
with, with some of the executiveteam.
(24:59):
And there was something eerilyfamiliar about my grandfather
when I met him.
It was like Tasia Fu
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Really?
That's interesting.
Let's talk about that for asecond.
Yeah.
Was it a feeling, was it a, uh,a resemblance?
Did you, or what was it, whatwas that moment like?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Yeah, well, what I ended up doing was calling this
guy who was our mutual friendand I said, Hey, uh, Brian, his
name's also Brian.
Uh, I know we haven't talked ina few years.
Um, but I want to ask you aboutPhil Marshall Marshall.
(25:44):
And he said, well, I've knownPhil for 40 years.
What about him?
I said, I think he might be mybiological grandfather and it
was silent.
And I said, well, how aboutMichelle?
Do you know her?
And he said, yeah, that's,that's his daughter.
(26:06):
Of course I do.
She she's worked for Galpin aswell.
I said, well, I think, I thinkthat might be my mother.
Oh man.
He didn't know what to do withit.
I mean, he had known him for solong.
I mean, there's pictures of himand then, um, on their Facebooks
and, uh, needless to say he waspretty surprised.
(26:28):
And I said, well, listen, I, Ithink I'm pretty lucky to have
you in this connection becauseyou know, I'd like for you to
reach out to them, if youwouldn't mind, um, tell them who
I, and be interested in having aconversation.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, no pressure, middle, middle person, friend
now.
So this, this being an adult,you know, you're an adult,
you've got a family of your own,as you were going through this
process, once you kind of foundout all of this information and
it was, I'm sure it was just aflood of emotion, uh, for you
personally, did you mention thisto your adoptive parents at that
(27:14):
time?
Or did you, were you thinking,look, I'm just going to go down
this path and see where it takesme.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Well, I definitely wanted to confirm that I'd
stumbled or a long the, theright people.
Um, yeah, so good choice.
I went through this process withBrian, you know, it, it was like
every day was just anxiety.
I think I called him on a Fridayand he said, okay, well, call
(27:43):
father this weekend.
And then let you know.
And about a week went by and Icalled him back and I said, Hey,
uh, and he locked.
And he said, Oh, I've just beenbusy.
And haven't talked to him yet.
Come on man.
Then right.
A few more days went by.
And I thought, you know, maybe Iput this guy in a uncomfortable
(28:07):
position.
So I think I sent him a textmessage and I said, listen, you
know, this is, it's my thing.
So, uh, I totally understand ifyou, if you don't want to do
that and I'll reach out.
And he said, no, no, no, no, no.
Um, um, just, just, just give metwo more days.
I've been traveling and it,okay.
So then he called me back and hesaid, Brian, I think you're
(28:31):
going to get a call.
Um, from Phil.
He is beside himself.
He's shocked.
But I think in a good way andgiving me your number, he'll
reach out, reach out to you.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah.
And I often wonder on a, likeon, on his side, you know, you
guys worked with all these yearscomes into his office or
whatever it calls him up.
And he's like, Hey man, I knowthis guy, Brian.
And he just, you know, call meand he thinks you're his
biological grandfather.
What do you, what do you thinkPhil?
(29:08):
I mean, that's like, it's thatsome news right there, man.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
I can't imagine.
And I had no idea whether heeven knew I existed.
I didn't know that part of thesalary.
He could have been like whatthat's crazy.
Um, so he said, he, he said Philhad asked him to give him about
two weeks.
(29:33):
The next day I got a call and Ianswered the phone and he said,
well, it's been a while.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
And I said, that's what he said.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
He said, you know, Brian, I have five daughters
that have given me 15grandchildren of those
grandchildren.
10 of them are female.
Uh, five of them are male.
Four of those are still alive.
And one of them is you.
(30:14):
And she said, he said, I'venever given up hope this day
would come.
Wow.
And that breath that I breathedafter that was 39 years of
baggage that I never felt like Iwas carrying until I felt the
(30:39):
relief of it being lifted fromme and, and something I could
never describe.
It was physical.
Um, but he then proceeded totell me parts of the story I'd
(30:59):
never heard.
Um, like for instance, he got acall from my birth mother and
she said, dad, I need you tocome over.
She was in labor, uh, at, attheir house.
Um, he showed up along with the,uh, paramedic and I was born
(31:27):
there, the house, um, the EMT, Ibelieve delivered me.
Um, my older half brother wasabout a year and a half old.
He witnessed all that.
Um, then, you know, I wasquickly wrapped in a blanket
(31:49):
handed to my grandfather andthen he, myself and my birth
mother got into the ambulanceand headed to the hospital.
And he said, you know, all thosechildren and grandchildren, I
have, you were the only birth Iever witnessed.
And he said, and then I helpedyou all the way to the hospital.
(32:11):
And he said, I've never stoppedthinking about you,
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Man.
That's heavy dude.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
Quite something.
Yeah.
Yeah man.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah.
How long did it take youemotionally on the phone?
I mean, like you said, it wasphysical.
Were you able to respond rightaway or were you just having to
take all this in?
Speaker 4 (32:37):
Well, you know, I never, my father's dad passed
away when he was 21 and mymother and her father were not
all that close.
And so I never had arelationship with a grandfather
(32:58):
and I think I was so stunned ateven just how natural it was to
talk to him.
Um, it just it's, it was like a,like an amalgam of, of all the
grandfathers.
(33:18):
Um, I ever said scene.
It was like, like, I don't know,he just had all those qualities
and he was so warm and it was ahappy occasion for him.
So I couldn't feel anythingother than just, um, joy.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
That's such a special, that is such a special
feeling.
Uh, the feeling of agrandfather.
I mean, it's, it's, it's hard toput your finger on.
Um, but it's, it's a, it's an,it's a connection.
It's a special connection, youknow?
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Yeah.
I'm learning that.
And he, he said, what would youmind if, you know, I'll give you
your mother's name and number.
Um, and you'd give me yours and,you know, would, I think she'd
(34:17):
probably like to talk to you,would you be open to that?
And I said, you kidding?
Wow.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I can't even, I can't even fathom that moment.
I mean, that's what a bridgeright to cross.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah.
Just how fast my life changed.
You know, it was just unraveledso quickly, the story, it just,
um, filled in so many gaps.
It's weird.
Um, and then we played chickenfor, I dunno, a couple of days
(34:56):
because she, um, had waited allthose years.
Never wanted to dishonor whatshe promised my mom and figured
that if I ever wanted to reachout, then I would.
(35:16):
Um, but my wife finally said tome, she, you know, she's not
going to call you, you, you, youneed to call her.
And I did.
Um, and I remember her when sheanswered her phone, she knew it
was me because of the number.
And it was just the, a quiet,hello.
(35:42):
And
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Man, it felt like,
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Like I already knew, I wasn't talking to a stranger
just from the very first moment.
And, um, and then just similarto my grandfather, I listened to
her, tell her story, or atleast, you know, a big portion
of it.
(36:13):
And she said, um,
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You know, I
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Had no plan to give you up for adoption.
My mother, when we got to thehospital, started asking some
questions and then before I knewit, I was talking to your
grandmother.
She said everything washappening so fast.
(36:46):
And I was not at peace and Ididn't know what I wanted to do.
I was scared.
I was young.
And then I saw your mom and dad.
And they said, she said, whenthey walked into the room, she
just knew that they were goingto take care of me and that's
(37:13):
where I needed to be.
And she somehow was able toexperience peace in the midst of
what was a very confusingsituation.
And she said, you know, it waslike, okay,
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Um,
Speaker 4 (37:32):
The hand of God just picked you up and put you in
your parents' arms.
And I knew that even though itwas the hardest thing I've ever
done, that it was right.
And, um, she said, but I, Ialways hoped you would reach
(37:53):
out.
And it was like, she was like,almost saying like, why did it
take you so long?
And I found out then that, thatactually was an open adoption,
but I didn't know that I wasalways under the impression that
(38:15):
that information was sealed andunavailable to me.
Um, and I don't, I don't thinkthat was intentional.
It just, I think my parents weretrying to, um, protect me and,
(38:36):
uh,
Speaker 3 (38:37):
That must've been very, it must've been very scary
for your parents because as yousaid, the laws were different
than I think, than they are now.
And I'm certainly no expert atall and adoption laws, but based
on what you said, I mean thefearful day to day of not
(38:58):
knowing what the day couldbring.
Um, so that's, that's quite astory, man.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Yeah.
Well, you asked about my parentsand sort of going through that
process of telling them, andthat came shortly after because
I almost immediately made a planto fly back to LA and meet her.
Um, and of course I was justcouldn't believe I had three
(39:32):
other siblings.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So, and I remember this, you know, cause this is,
this was, I think, you know,we're working together or
talking a lot back then.
And I re, I remember you tellingme all of this and I could hear
the, I don't know theuncertainty or the peace, the,
the excitement in your voice,that the unknown, um, what you
(39:58):
were about to experience.
And it was, I can rememberpretty emotional for you at the
time.
And you know, anything, anytime,something like this happens,
especially years later, it's notjust you, it's not just Brian,
you know, it's Brian and it'syour wife and your kids and your
, uh, you know, your, yourparents and, um, these new
(40:21):
people, there's a whole stringof people that are going to be
emotionally affected.
And depending upon kind of theoutcome, you know, forever kind
of joined to some people thatthey, that have been complete
strangers.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Yeah.
And my immediate family, youknow, my wife and three kids
were, were immediatelysupportive and then pterygoid.
And we would spend hours kindof, you know, going through
Facebook and looking at picturesof my biological mother and
trying to figure out, you know,is that her son?
(41:08):
Is that my brother?
What about that girl?
Who's that Facebook man.
Yeah.
So we have a lot of thoseexperiences.
And then I remember this, I hadmade this play to go plan, to go
out to LA.
And I knew I had to have theconversation with my parents.
(41:30):
And I gotta tell ya, I was muchmore about that conversation
than the one where I called mybirth mother really.
And that was just because, yeah,man, I really, The last time
that anything related to myadoption had even come up was
(41:51):
the night of my wedding, mygrandmother, the one who was the
nurse, you know, she said to me,you're getting married now.
I mean, aren't you, aren't youcurious?
Don't don't you want to knowmore like on your wedding?
It was like, yeah, here's theright kid.
I remember my mom was like, geez, I can't believe she just
(42:13):
brought this over.
Um, and of course, because mymom was present, I just kind of
blew it off.
And it was like, Oh, I don'tknow.
I haven't thought about it.
Right.
But, um, you know, it was not acommon discussion in our family.
So the only thing that I justnever wanted to hurt him, I
(42:40):
wanted it to be clear that Iwasn't looking for a replacement
mother.
I didn't feel like I was missingand the next thing in my life,
but I did want to know.
And I wanted to be able to havethe ability to walk in the light
(43:02):
of my own story.
Why like, why should there bequestion marks around that?
And so I only had a brief timewith them.
And so my mom tends to be atalker and she's talking about
this and that and the otherthing.
So finally I just yelled out,Hey, by the way, uh, I've been
(43:25):
in touch with my biologicalmother and grandfather and, um,
it's pretty cool.
They're nice.
And I tend to go meet them.
And of course my dad, who's nota very excitable guy.
And I think his eyebrows went tothe top of his head.
He leaned forward what my momhears.
(43:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
They always tease my sister thatshe's the actual one who was
adopted.
She hates it.
So, so your mother burst intotears.
She did.
And she said, I, how, whathappened?
I can't, I can't believe it.
You know?
And then she immediately said,um, I'm so happy.
(44:13):
She said, you know, Brian and I,our relationship is strong
enough to withstand anythingthat should come out of this.
And I do think it's time for youto know everything.
And, um, it was not the reactionI expected.
(44:37):
I, I thought, you know, it wouldimmediately be kind of
retracting and getting quiet.
Um, but it, it gave me theencouragement I need.
And since then, I mean, we'venavigated a lot of emotion, you
know, there, she, she didretract quite a bit after that
(44:58):
initial, uh, discussion.
She, she started to have some ofthose old fears creep in again,
and then it was less about meand now all of a sudden about my
kids and, you know, she can'thave my grandbabies, you know,
and, um, at the same time sheacknowledged me.
(45:21):
She said, you know, maybe thisis time for me to let go.
Of some of those fears that I'vebeen carrying for all these
years.
And man, it felt like within apretty short period of time,
Speaker 3 (45:38):
All this weight that just comes
Speaker 4 (45:43):
From a transaction like this, um, started to loosen
up with all of us.
And, and like I said, I mean,somewhat some of this stuff,
it's like, I didn't even know Ihad these sort of deep emotional
(46:07):
attachments around it.
And, um, man, there was nothinglike that moment of seeing my
birth mother for the first time.
Um, hugging her, the, the smell,the, the connection, the
(46:30):
familiarity.
So bizarre.
Um, did you find that my rolethere, half brother at that time
too?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
That's crazy.
Did you see any likeresemblances at all or was it
like running into somebody, likeyou said, and you just felt like
you've known them forever.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
Yeah.
We look alike.
Wow.
And It's, it's a bizarre feelingwhen there's, when you don't
know anything about a personSLIFE and what they've done,
where they've been, and yet shewasn't a stranger to me.
(47:17):
Wow.
Crazy.
I mean, you think about studiesaround adoption and even about
the sort of in utero, um,attachment that gets developed
between a mother and child.
Um, and that, that happensreally early on.
(47:40):
And to think that that manyyears went by, and there's still
something that happened in thatnine months that, you know, um,
was still there.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Well, I mean, it it's it's yeah.
I mean, I think it's on, uh, allsorts of levels from a, a DNA
level to a spiritual levelconnection.
Um, I can't remember the name ofthe doc off the top of my head,
but it was a doc on Netflixabout the three triplet boys.
(48:15):
And they were all, you know,adopted out to three separate
homes, all of different economicstandings and ultimately in the
end, as they grew older andthings, I mean, the things that
would come out in their lives orwhatever, certainly a bizarre
different outcome, but then whatyou're talking about, but that
(48:38):
connection is, is there.
And there's nothing that could,you know, separate that
Speaker 4 (48:47):
That's, it's so true.
And you know, when you, when youstart to see that there's
purpose and design in your life,that, uh, that again, you
couldn't have created foryourself, you know, it's, it's,
(49:09):
it's, there's so many strangeconnections.
Um, remember I told you thatwhen I started to really have
the desire to want to find mybirth mother was right when my
daughter was born.
What I didn't know is that milesfrom the hospital where we were,
(49:30):
my birth mother was had justgiven birth herself, um, to my
youngest sister who's within amonth of the same age as my
oldest daughter, man.
And yeah, it was actually mymiddle's middle daughter's
(49:51):
doctor delivered my sister.
I mean,
Speaker 3 (49:57):
These connections are crazy, man.
Yeah,
Speaker 4 (50:00):
Yeah.
You couldn't.
So, so then my, um, this is sostrange, but there was a, my
father was a LAPD officer andone of the guys in his unit was
a guy named Steve park.
He, he was somebody I knewgrowing up, his wife, Debbie is
(50:27):
my birth mother's um, bye
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Man, Brian, you've had now go ahead.
That's that's just, I don'tknow.
Have you ever done like a, a,just like on a white board, just
like written out I'm a visualthinker, right?
I would, I think I would have towrite down names and then, you
know, use yarn or something.
(50:56):
And just like, it'd beinteresting to see all of these
different connections on, at, ona timeline to see where everyone
was at a certain period of timeand just how close you were
orbiting this whole life, thiswhole group of people that you
were connected to.
Um, and before I get, yeah,before we go off too far on
(51:19):
that, I wanted to say somethingabout your mom, what a, um, an
amazing woman.
She sounds like to be able tounselfishly sort of unwind
herself and, and, and open up tothis.
I mean, that had to even open upthe door even further to make
this much more of a, an amazingexperience for you.
(51:41):
So you weren't having to now allof a sudden deal with serious
emotional baggage on one side.
And I know that there's probablybeen challenges, like you said,
along the way, but, uh, your momsounds like an amazing person.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
She is pretty special.
Um, there's no question aboutthat.
And, you know, that's why Inever wanted this story to be at
her expense and I could neverhave predicted how this would
turn out.
I mean, they talk all the time.
(52:19):
It's usually, you know, there'swine and tears involved, but
they'll call each other.
And, um,
Speaker 3 (52:28):
That's pretty amazing.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
And there's been this healing between the two of them.
That's it's, I can't evendescribe it, you know?
And, and then my, um, my mom,they started calling each other,
um, sister mothers.
Okay.
You know, it's man, I, I,would've never in a million
(52:54):
years, all I really wanted to dois be able to say thank you.
And to think that we get toexpand our family in this way.
And, um, be able to share lovebetween us is, is more than I
could have ever asked orimagined.
(53:15):
You know, I told my mom when shewas sort of struggling a little
bit, I said, you know, wheneveryou have a child, you
automatically have the capacityto love that child, even though
you don't really know who theyare, who they're going to turn
into.
It's like, it's just there, thelove, the capacity to love
(53:39):
within you just grows.
It's not like you have to takelove from, you know, your, one
of your previous children andthen share it.
It just expands.
And so in that same way, youknow, I told my mom, like, this
is expanded love.
Like I you're, my mother andnothing will ever change that.
(54:03):
And as we've leaned into some ofthose, um, tougher
conversations, it's, it's always, um, put us in a better,
stronger place.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
I know there's more to the story and you guys have
really connected and everything.
And, um, but how has it changedyour perspective on, on what you
do, you know, as a father, as ahusband, as a, as a son.
Um, and then how has that sortof affected you kind of, you
(54:37):
know, personally and your, andyour, and your, and your
professional life.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
That's a great question.
Um, I think the biggestrevelation for me was realizing
that my past, my present and myfuture aren't are not different
life stages.
(55:02):
All those things are connectedto one another, right.
You know, in my own personaljourney.
So even separate from, you know,the, the DNA part of it, I've
always wanted to understand myown identity, my, um,
relationship to God.
(55:23):
Um, and one of the things I'vealways questioned is what, what
was the purpose and all of that,you know, all those years ago,
and, you know, had I not beenadopted, where would I end up?
And, um, what would my life havebeen like?
And, you know, you ask yourselfthose kinds of questions.
(55:46):
And then when you see the bigpicture stitch together, the way
that God was always able to seeit, it's like you get to see how
your life matters and has alwaysmattered to God.
(56:07):
And for me, that now influencesevery interaction I have with my
kids, with my wife, withstrangers, um, because there's
divinity in of life.
And, um, the ability to just seeall those times I questioned
(56:30):
lonely moments, sad moments,depression, feeling
disconnected.
It's like, God could use thatstory and show me the bread
comes and say, I've always beenthere.
Speaker 2 (56:47):
That's amazing, man.
And it, it sounds like it is,you mentioned a while ago, it's,
it's given you the opportunityto just expand your capability
to, to love and to see thingsthat you didn't see before.
And that's, we all need more ofthat.
(57:09):
Um, these kinds of stories, theyjust don't end, you know, and
it's the kind of stories youwant to sit down and you want to
talk about, and, and they're,they're the kind of stories I
want to shoot and film and make,you know, make stories out of.
Um, so, um, I'm sure we'll getaround to that one of these
days, but again, Brian Williams,thank you so much for being on
the groove podcast today.
Um, where can people find you?
(57:30):
Are you, uh, are you on socialmedia guy or do you just kinda,
uh, my knee, I knew you were onFacebook.
You know, you're an expertFacebook stalker, but, uh, where
can people
Speaker 4 (57:43):
My profile?
Um, I, I don't post a lot.
Um, but I, I do definitely havesome pictures up there.
Um, so you can, you can find meon Facebook.
I'm mr.
M R B E E w on Instagram.
So mr.
BW, find me on LinkedIn,
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Dude.
Are you a DJ as well?
Okay, we'll go on that.
Uh, well, that's awesome, man.
Um, thanks again, Brian.
And, uh, man, I wish you thebest of luck in this continued
expansion in your life.
Cause it seems to me like, it'sjust, it's doing nothing, but it
expanding further and further.
Speaker 4 (58:26):
No doubt about it.
And like you said, um, it reallyis a story that that never ends
and that's true for all of usand, um, you know, in a, in a
year like twin 20, um, all wehave is the people around us and
, um, you know, so anytime Ihave the opportunity to, um,
(58:50):
share my story, it's, it'slife-giving to me.
And I really appreciate theopportunity, man.
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Thanks Brian.
You know what?
Sometimes the group finds us andsometimes we find the groove and
in this case it sounds like itwas a perfect combination of
both, uh, take care, man.
And we'll talk again soon.
Look forward to it.
Thanks.
To get more information aboutBrian and to see some cool
pictures of his newly expandedfamily, head over to the groove
podcast.com.
Also, if you'd like to helpsupport our show, click on the
(59:20):
Patrion and join up with some ofour other patrons like Maria,
Elena, and Sue van Fossen.
We really appreciate all thesupport and be sure to subscribe
and rate and give us a reviewwherever you listen to your
podcasts, it really helps us outa lot.
You can check out mywebsite@devinpence.com.
I have a photography blog now,and I've been posting some old
(59:42):
school film photography, and I'musually hanging out on Instagram
at Devin Pence and feel free tojoin my Facebook pages as well.
That's it for this episode, hangin there, stay strong, stay
safe, and stay tuned for anotherepisode of the groove.
You're listening to the group, uh, Devin Pence.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey guys.
Welcome back to the grouppodcast.
Thanks for jumping back in.
We had to take a little bit of abreak due to some work
requirements and a little thingcalled the pandemic.
But nevertheless, here we are,and we're starting season two,
and we're very excited aboutthat.
A couple of quick notes beforewe jump into this episode, this
season, it will be yours trulyhosting.
(00:34):
It was great having Reggie forseason one, but he's really
taking off with his brand overon Facebook.
I think he's got a couple oflive shows over there.
Now he has a new blog group andhe's doing a lot of cool stuff
with his music.
So be sure to head over toFacebook and check out what
Richie ham is doing.
And you never know.
He may surprise us and pop in ona couple of episodes in season
(00:54):
two.
I'm still very excited tocontinue bringing you guys
stories.
You know, we've all been throughsome very challenging times
these past several months, but alot of times I think challenging
times offer up opportunities forovercoming things and rising
above more than anything wethought we could ever do before.
And we can still find ways tomove forward in a positive
(01:15):
direction, even through thestruggles.
And my goal is to keep talkingto people and give them a chance
to share their stories becauseeveryone has one.
And I think as we move throughthis season, you're going to
hear some really cool,interesting and inspiring
stories.
Speaking of my first guest forseason two is Brian Williams,
(01:36):
man, he's got an incrediblestory and I'm super excited to
share it with you guys.
But before we jump into thisepisode, here's a little bit
about Brian.
He began his career specializingin developing multi-platform
marketing campaigns for featurefilms.
Now for more than 10 years, he'sbeen a leading figure in brand
integration and digitalmarketing.
(01:56):
Brian's been a part of formingstrategic partnerships with
several major studios and hasradically grown the product
integration space across allforms of media, including film,
television, video games, liveevents and web series.
Currently Brian is the founderof it.
City entertainment.
Be sure to head over to thegroove podcast.com to check out
(02:17):
more about Brian and hisepisode.
We'll have the show notes withlinks to where he can be found
as well as some cool picturesfrom the episode that you're
about to hear.
And without further ado, let'shop into this episode with
Brian.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
All right,
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Welcome guys to the group podcast.
And I'm excited today to haveBrian Williams on the show.
So welcome Brian.
Glad to be here.
Thanks Devin.
Thank you for doing this.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh, you're a very, very busy guy.
One of the busiest people.
I know, actually there's a fewpeople who tell me that, uh,
just real quickly.
Um, can you just kind ofintroduce yourself a little bit
and tell everybody what you doand kind of why you do it?
Sure.
Well, I, in entertainment
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And what I do is basically help content creators,
figure out the best vehicle todevelop and distribute their
product that could be televisionproperty or film, or even a new
media enterprise.
And, uh, I do it because Ireally enjoy taking the
(03:25):
creativity that somebody elsehas put into a story and helping
it to find an audience.
I really enjoy that process ofcreating connections between,
uh, creatives and consumers.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
That's awesome.
So basically, uh, without guyslike you guys like me who make
things, nothing would ever getseen or heard?
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, I, I, yeah.
I mean, I guess that is sort ofthe role we've feel, you know, I
live here in Nashville now, butmy career was started in Los
Angeles and there is a huge poolof really talented people here.
And it's writers, storytellers,musicians, uh, even directors,
(04:17):
producers, um, but there's not athick pipeline in distribution
in this part of the country.
So there's all the stuff thatgets created and then it kind of
circles around and never finds ahome.
And so sometimes you have tothink outside of the box and try
to figure out how do we getthis, the attention that it
(04:40):
needs and how do we sell it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah.
And it's, and certainly pre Idon't even what you want to call
it pandemic.
Let's just call it the prepandemic days.
It was challenging enough.
Um, I think we've all seen somany different things change and
we as, uh, you know, as humansand as survivalists, I guess if
(05:05):
you will, those of us who arefreelance and have our own
companies and that sort ofthing, and even, even larger
companies, obviously you have tofind a new way forward and a new
way to survive and has a lot todo with not only, you know,
having good business practices,but also surrounding yourself
(05:25):
with good people and people thatare able to persevere through a
lot of these challenges andthings.
And, and let's jump into, youknow, one thing that we talk
about a lot on the group areinspirational stories.
Our lives are kind of made uparound work and what we do for a
living and that kind of thing.
And, and, but there's a personalside that affects everything and
(05:49):
full disclosure, you know, youand I have worked together.
We've known each other forseveral years and worked
together on a few things andhopefully working on the process
of working together again soon.
And I guess it was last year,Brian, you can correct me if I'm
wrong.
We were talking on the phone oneday and you kind of dropped some
(06:12):
incredible news just outside ofwork.
And I'd love for you to sharethat story with the listeners if
you will.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Oh yeah.
I'd love to it's I enjoy talkingabout this more than almost
anything.
It's a pretty great story that Ican't take that much credit for,
uh, which those are the bestkind.
So, uh, I was adopted and, uh,what I knew about my own story
(06:45):
was that my, uh, that I was bornand let's say an ambulance born
in an ambulance.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
That's a great, let's start there for an ambulance
Speaker 4 (07:01):
And brought to the hospital.
And when I got there, um, what Iwas always told was that my
birth mother mentioned to someof the nurses that she wanted to
give this baby up for adoption.
(07:22):
I mean, it just so happened thatmy grandmother was a nurse, not
my biological grandmother, butmy adoptive parents adoptive
father's mom.
She was a nurse and had told allthe OB nurses that if anybody
ever came in wanting to give thebaby up for adoption, then to
call her.
(07:43):
So she came down to the OB and,um, at that point, net my
biological mother andgrandparents, they then called
my mom and dad and said, Hey,there's a baby here.
(08:04):
Why don't you come see in?
So they came to the hospital andthe way I always knew it is two
days later, I went home withthem.
And, you know, I have one ofthose stories where I never had
any sort of dramatic momentwhere my parents sat me down and
(08:25):
said, Hey, we've, we've gotsomething to tell you.
Um, you're adopted, it'ssomething I've always known
because they, you know, told mebefore I could speak.
I remember I had this book thatsaid that was called.
Why was I adopted?
And, um, it was a picture bookyou'd read through and hear the
(08:48):
sweet little story about how,you know, uh, it was loved by my
birth mother, but, um, maybe shehad some difficult circumstances
and now I'm with a family thatloves me and narrative
Speaker 3 (09:05):
New, almost as learning to talk, walk, you
know, just as part of yourcognitive, you know, initial
learnings, this was just allpart of the story and scene and
was just part of who you were
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Part of, who I was felt totally normal.
Um, if anything, it was likesomething that made me a little
different or special.
Um, and I got to tell ya thatwas the way to do it.
I mean, it, I think drasticallyreduced any trauma or even, um,
(09:42):
deep abandoned issues oranything like that.
Um, but as I got older, um, Ibegan to get curious about that.
Um, and I, I would often thinkabout what an encounter with my
birth mother would be like, whatwould I say, what would I ask?
(10:05):
Or
Speaker 3 (10:07):
How well would you say you were when you started
feeling that
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Maybe about 11 or 12.
Alright, so pretty young, youknow?
Yeah.
Pretty young.
I, about two years after I wasadopted, my mother had an
operation and she was able tohave two biological children of
her own.
So I had grew up with twoyounger sisters, um, and we sort
(10:36):
of even looked alike, uh, atleast enough for nobody really
would question whether or not wewere all from the same family.
Um, but there, there wascuriosities.
And I think a lot of it wasbecause the story was always the
(10:56):
same and it was always realshort.
And I just knew there had to bemore,
Speaker 3 (11:05):
I think that was your adoptive parents saw their
initial kind of strategy.
If you will, you know, wouldn'tcall it a strategy, but letting
you in on this from thebeginning.
And then all of a sudden, wait asecond, Oh, now he's asking
questions.
You know, what are we going tosay?
Let's keep it short and sweetkind of thing.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Uh, yeah, maybe there's a little bit of that.
I think it mostly came from areally good place, which was
just that, you know, where areyour parents?
We love you as much as we wouldlove any child.
And what else is there to knowwhat else matters?
(11:52):
Okay.
And I think it was more out ofwanting to protect their own
emotions.
Um, like for example, I I'dasked my mom from time to time
questions and I could tell thatjust the questions were
(12:15):
uncomfortable and, and maybeeven hurt her feelings a little
bit.
Um, I understand more of thatnow at the time it was just
like, this is obviously painfuland I didn't want to cause pain.
Uh, so I, so I stopped askingquestions until I got older.
(12:39):
Um, and, and like I said, now, Ifeel like I've got a better
understanding of where that camefrom.
It turns out that my biologicalmother and my half brother
lived, you know, a block and ahalf from where I grew up, that
(12:59):
my mom knew that.
And she, she, she just, she wasalways so worried that, you
know, somehow, um, my birthmother would change her mind or
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Ring the doorbell.
Hey, I was just walking aroundthe block and want to see my
son.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah, you got it.
So I have better context of thatnow.
And then what happened is, youknow, uh, got, you know, got
married and, uh, we had ourfirst child and I remember being
in that hospital and my daughterbeing born in and just being
(13:43):
overwhelmed by that moment andthinking to myself, there's no
way that this is something thatyou can go through, you know,
carrying a child for nine monthsand then the birth experience
and not have some sort ofattachment or, um, just a desire
(14:09):
to want to know and protect anyof your children.
Um, and that gave me even adeeper desire to, to really just
want to have that moment where Icould say to my birth mother,
Hey, uh, I had great parents.
I, I'm not looking for another,uh, parent, but I, I just want
(14:33):
to say thank you for caring mefor nine months.
Um, and making sure I got to theright place, uh, in case you
ever wondered if that was a gooddecision, it was thanks.
You know, I, I didn't reallyhave any expectation of a
relationship.
So I would say I started lookingin my early twenties, um, could
(14:56):
never find anybody or mybiological mother, uh, with the
information I had.
And
Speaker 3 (15:08):
They were limiting your, your information.
Do you think to kind of keep youfrom, I mean, having her a ride
around the block, your motherknew that, or your, your
adoptive mother knew that.
And I, and I'm sure that, thatit was, like you said, how
unnerving it would be to, um,cause I have some other friends,
(15:30):
who've multiple friends who havegone through the adoption
process and, and you've, youknow, there's the private
adoption or the open adoptionthat various types of adoptions,
our mutual friend, Reggie ham,you know, he adopted his child
from China, no chance.
And you know, of any, you know,uh, run bumping into her, her
(15:53):
mother somewhere, right.
Or somebody that lives inanother, another state or even
another, you know, anothercountry or whatever.
But I can't imagine the angst,your adoptive parents must've
felt knowing your birth motherwas just sort of a block and a
half away.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Yeah.
I think that played a biggerfactor, especially for my mom.
Then she might've even knownherself.
Um, there was a lot of stories.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You mean your birth mom?
You think, you think your birthmom knew that you were right
around the block?
No.
Okay.
I don't think I missed that.
Okay.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Okay.
I'm pretty sure she, she didn'trealize how close they were.
My mom is now pretty sure shesaw my brother and either her or
another woman, um, just taking awalk one day.
(16:58):
And, um, she had a hard timewith that.
She kinda freaked out about it,but I can imagine.
Yeah, I, I understand therewere, there were some cases in
the eighties where, because ofthe way the laws were at the
time, you know, you'd havesomebody give a child up for
(17:21):
adoption.
And then sometimes, you know, ayear later more, they come back
and change their mind and it gothrough the courts.
And then this child was rippedout of one home and put in
another.
And I think she had a real fearabout that because of those
(17:42):
stories.
And just, again, them being insuch close proximity, I found
out after, after being able tohear directly from my birth
mother, that, um, the day thatshe met my birth mother, when I
(18:03):
was born and in the hospital,um, she saw her and made the
commitment that she was nevergoing to, she's never going to
interfere or do anything thatwould, um, jeopardize the
(18:28):
relationship between me and myparents and she never did.
So I think my mom still heldthose spheres.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Interesting walk, walk us through the process of
kind of fast forwarding, alittle bit of the discovery and
where your birth mother was andkind of the process.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Yeah.
Which is the greatest.
So I, I had this echo in my ear,it was some sort of nerve
damage.
So I started going to somedoctors and your nose and throat
and audiologist and neurologist.
And every time I'd go and seesomeone they'd ask me about my
(19:17):
family medical history.
And I got tired of not beingable to answer that question.
And I remember being on thephone with my sisters and just
kind of complaining about that.
Like chase, be nice to know ifthere's something I should be
worried about are going to dropdead at 50 or something.
(19:40):
Um, so for Christmas theydecided to get me the, uh, 23
and me genetic tests that hadthe house scan.
And, uh, so that man, I don'tknow.
I just, I got that thing.
I didn't even think about it.
I thought, Oh, I'm going tolearn all these new traits, uh,
(20:02):
about myself and whether or notI'm a carrier for anything.
And this'll be great.
So I got the results in Januaryand, um, I'm looking through and
I'm like, what year was this?
This was January, 2019.
(20:24):
And, uh, the, the upside was, asfar as my genetics are
concerned, they're in real goodshape.
And, uh,
Speaker 3 (20:34):
And you're not wanted for any, you're not wanting for
any outstanding murders that arein the DNA database base files
would, that's also a goodrelief.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
We'll save that for another episode.
Anyway, we ended up goingthrough this report, getting to
the end where it lists your DNArelatives.
And it said I had 1500 of them.
Um, I mean, I just rememberbeing shocked like, Oh, this is
(21:08):
just here.
And so then it kind of puts itin the order from the person you
share the most DNA with untilthe least.
And I had three first cousinslisted at the top and one of
them had a pretty unique name.
So I mean, I had their names andeverything.
(21:29):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
Full name.
Uh, which I thought about a lotsince then about, you know, what
about all these people who didnegotiate closer, the options?
Um, you know, what about, um,situations where, you know, you
were just a sperm donor, youknow, looking for extra cash
(21:53):
during college, um, that wassupposed to be anonymous.
Now you might have kids runningaround everywhere, 300 kids,
your name.
Yeah.
I put this first cousin nameinto Facebook and she popped up
immediately and she was like 31years old at this point I was
(22:16):
39.
And, um, I clicked on her.
I said, well, hi, not good.
See, I can see some similaritythere.
And, uh, looked at her about, Isaw that she had a grandfather
listed, listed.
I clicked him.
He had five daughters listed.
One of them had the first nameof my birth mother.
(22:40):
Oh man.
So I clicked it and it was like,my heart stopped.
Uh, just I saw her face.
I saw myself.
I, I knew wow.
And I, I, I immediately saw thatwe had a mutual friend listed
(23:01):
and it was the same guy that waslisted as a mutual friend on my
grandfather's Facebook page.
And he was a guy that I knewfairly well.
Uh, we, he, he was, uh, um, headof business of Mela development
for a, um, automotive group inthe San Fernando Valley.
(23:23):
And they were a client of thecompany I worked for.
And I thought, how does he knowboth my grandfather and my birth
mother?
And it turns out that my motherworked for the same automotive
group and my grandfather hadbeen the CFO of that company
(23:45):
since like 1974.
Um, and of course this, thiscompany, uh, Galpin is, um, a
huge car dealership that was inthe San Fernando Valley, right
near where I grew up.
Uh, I drive by it every singleday on my way to work.
(24:09):
Um, my company did business withthat company, or I had been
there, uh, met the executiveteam before.
Um, so it was shock
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Shocking there.
I think we might've talked aboutthis before, so there's actually
a chance that you met yourgrandfather and didn't know it
like you're in the same room ifhe was on the exec committee.
Right.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
I'm pretty sure we did.
Uh, my sister and I, along withour CEO, took a tour and of the,
of the whole, uh, dealership.
And I remember going into theseoffices and, um, shaking hands
with, with some of the executiveteam.
(24:59):
And there was something eerilyfamiliar about my grandfather
when I met him.
It was like Tasia Fu
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Really?
That's interesting.
Let's talk about that for asecond.
Yeah.
Was it a feeling, was it a, uh,a resemblance?
Did you, or what was it, whatwas that moment like?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Yeah, well, what I ended up doing was calling this
guy who was our mutual friendand I said, Hey, uh, Brian, his
name's also Brian.
Uh, I know we haven't talked ina few years.
Um, but I want to ask you aboutPhil Marshall Marshall.
(25:44):
And he said, well, I've knownPhil for 40 years.
What about him?
I said, I think he might be mybiological grandfather and it
was silent.
And I said, well, how aboutMichelle?
Do you know her?
And he said, yeah, that's,that's his daughter.
(26:06):
Of course I do.
She she's worked for Galpin aswell.
I said, well, I think, I thinkthat might be my mother.
Oh man.
He didn't know what to do withit.
I mean, he had known him for solong.
I mean, there's pictures of himand then, um, on their Facebooks
and, uh, needless to say he waspretty surprised.
(26:28):
And I said, well, listen, I, Ithink I'm pretty lucky to have
you in this connection becauseyou know, I'd like for you to
reach out to them, if youwouldn't mind, um, tell them who
I, and be interested in having aconversation.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
Yeah, no pressure, middle, middle person, friend
now.
So this, this being an adult,you know, you're an adult,
you've got a family of your own,as you were going through this
process, once you kind of foundout all of this information and
it was, I'm sure it was just aflood of emotion, uh, for you
personally, did you mention thisto your adoptive parents at that
(27:14):
time?
Or did you, were you thinking,look, I'm just going to go down
this path and see where it takesme.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Well, I definitely wanted to confirm that I'd
stumbled or a long the, theright people.
Um, yeah, so good choice.
I went through this process withBrian, you know, it, it was like
every day was just anxiety.
I think I called him on a Fridayand he said, okay, well, call
(27:43):
father this weekend.
And then let you know.
And about a week went by and Icalled him back and I said, Hey,
uh, and he locked.
And he said, Oh, I've just beenbusy.
And haven't talked to him yet.
Come on man.
Then right.
A few more days went by.
And I thought, you know, maybe Iput this guy in a uncomfortable
(28:07):
position.
So I think I sent him a textmessage and I said, listen, you
know, this is, it's my thing.
So, uh, I totally understand ifyou, if you don't want to do
that and I'll reach out.
And he said, no, no, no, no, no.
Um, um, just, just, just give metwo more days.
I've been traveling and it,okay.
So then he called me back and hesaid, Brian, I think you're
(28:31):
going to get a call.
Um, from Phil.
He is beside himself.
He's shocked.
But I think in a good way andgiving me your number, he'll
reach out, reach out to you.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah.
And I often wonder on a, likeon, on his side, you know, you
guys worked with all these yearscomes into his office or
whatever it calls him up.
And he's like, Hey man, I knowthis guy, Brian.
And he just, you know, call meand he thinks you're his
biological grandfather.
What do you, what do you thinkPhil?
(29:08):
I mean, that's like, it's thatsome news right there, man.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
I can't imagine.
And I had no idea whether heeven knew I existed.
I didn't know that part of thesalary.
He could have been like whatthat's crazy.
Um, so he said, he, he said Philhad asked him to give him about
two weeks.
(29:33):
The next day I got a call and Ianswered the phone and he said,
well, it's been a while.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
And I said, that's what he said.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
He said, you know, Brian, I have five daughters
that have given me 15grandchildren of those
grandchildren.
10 of them are female.
Uh, five of them are male.
Four of those are still alive.
And one of them is you.
(30:14):
And she said, he said, I'venever given up hope this day
would come.
Wow.
And that breath that I breathedafter that was 39 years of
baggage that I never felt like Iwas carrying until I felt the
(30:39):
relief of it being lifted fromme and, and something I could
never describe.
It was physical.
Um, but he then proceeded totell me parts of the story I'd
(30:59):
never heard.
Um, like for instance, he got acall from my birth mother and
she said, dad, I need you tocome over.
She was in labor, uh, at, attheir house.
Um, he showed up along with the,uh, paramedic and I was born
(31:27):
there, the house, um, the EMT, Ibelieve delivered me.
Um, my older half brother wasabout a year and a half old.
He witnessed all that.
Um, then, you know, I wasquickly wrapped in a blanket
(31:49):
handed to my grandfather andthen he, myself and my birth
mother got into the ambulanceand headed to the hospital.
And he said, you know, all thosechildren and grandchildren, I
have, you were the only birth Iever witnessed.
And he said, and then I helpedyou all the way to the hospital.
(32:11):
And he said, I've never stoppedthinking about you,
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Man.
That's heavy dude.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
Quite something.
Yeah.
Yeah man.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah.
How long did it take youemotionally on the phone?
I mean, like you said, it wasphysical.
Were you able to respond rightaway or were you just having to
take all this in?
Speaker 4 (32:37):
Well, you know, I never, my father's dad passed
away when he was 21 and mymother and her father were not
all that close.
And so I never had arelationship with a grandfather
(32:58):
and I think I was so stunned ateven just how natural it was to
talk to him.
Um, it just it's, it was like a,like an amalgam of, of all the
grandfathers.
(33:18):
Um, I ever said scene.
It was like, like, I don't know,he just had all those qualities
and he was so warm and it was ahappy occasion for him.
So I couldn't feel anythingother than just, um, joy.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
That's such a special, that is such a special
feeling.
Uh, the feeling of agrandfather.
I mean, it's, it's, it's hard toput your finger on.
Um, but it's, it's a, it's an,it's a connection.
It's a special connection, youknow?
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Yeah.
I'm learning that.
And he, he said, what would youmind if, you know, I'll give you
your mother's name and number.
Um, and you'd give me yours and,you know, would, I think she'd
(34:17):
probably like to talk to you,would you be open to that?
And I said, you kidding?
Wow.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I can't even, I can't even fathom that moment.
I mean, that's what a bridgeright to cross.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah.
Just how fast my life changed.
You know, it was just unraveledso quickly, the story, it just,
um, filled in so many gaps.
It's weird.
Um, and then we played chickenfor, I dunno, a couple of days
(34:56):
because she, um, had waited allthose years.
Never wanted to dishonor whatshe promised my mom and figured
that if I ever wanted to reachout, then I would.
(35:16):
Um, but my wife finally said tome, she, you know, she's not
going to call you, you, you, youneed to call her.
And I did.
Um, and I remember her when sheanswered her phone, she knew it
was me because of the number.
And it was just the, a quiet,hello.
(35:42):
And
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Man, it felt like,
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Like I already knew, I wasn't talking to a stranger
just from the very first moment.
And, um, and then just similarto my grandfather, I listened to
her, tell her story, or atleast, you know, a big portion
of it.
(36:13):
And she said, um,
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You know, I
Speaker 4 (36:25):
Had no plan to give you up for adoption.
My mother, when we got to thehospital, started asking some
questions and then before I knewit, I was talking to your
grandmother.
She said everything washappening so fast.
(36:46):
And I was not at peace and Ididn't know what I wanted to do.
I was scared.
I was young.
And then I saw your mom and dad.
And they said, she said, whenthey walked into the room, she
just knew that they were goingto take care of me and that's
(37:13):
where I needed to be.
And she somehow was able toexperience peace in the midst of
what was a very confusingsituation.
And she said, you know, it waslike, okay,
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Um,
Speaker 4 (37:32):
The hand of God just picked you up and put you in
your parents' arms.
And I knew that even though itwas the hardest thing I've ever
done, that it was right.
And, um, she said, but I, Ialways hoped you would reach
(37:53):
out.
And it was like, she was like,almost saying like, why did it
take you so long?
And I found out then that, thatactually was an open adoption,
but I didn't know that I wasalways under the impression that
(38:15):
that information was sealed andunavailable to me.
Um, and I don't, I don't thinkthat was intentional.
It just, I think my parents weretrying to, um, protect me and,
(38:36):
uh,
Speaker 3 (38:37):
That must've been very, it must've been very scary
for your parents because as yousaid, the laws were different
than I think, than they are now.
And I'm certainly no expert atall and adoption laws, but based
on what you said, I mean thefearful day to day of not
(38:58):
knowing what the day couldbring.
Um, so that's, that's quite astory, man.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Yeah.
Well, you asked about my parentsand sort of going through that
process of telling them, andthat came shortly after because
I almost immediately made a planto fly back to LA and meet her.
Um, and of course I was justcouldn't believe I had three
(39:32):
other siblings.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So, and I remember this, you know, cause this is,
this was, I think, you know,we're working together or
talking a lot back then.
And I re, I remember you tellingme all of this and I could hear
the, I don't know theuncertainty or the peace, the,
the excitement in your voice,that the unknown, um, what you
(39:58):
were about to experience.
And it was, I can rememberpretty emotional for you at the
time.
And you know, anything, anytime,something like this happens,
especially years later, it's notjust you, it's not just Brian,
you know, it's Brian and it'syour wife and your kids and your
, uh, you know, your, yourparents and, um, these new
(40:21):
people, there's a whole stringof people that are going to be
emotionally affected.
And depending upon kind of theoutcome, you know, forever kind
of joined to some people thatthey, that have been complete
strangers.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Yeah.
And my immediate family, youknow, my wife and three kids
were, were immediatelysupportive and then pterygoid.
And we would spend hours kindof, you know, going through
Facebook and looking at picturesof my biological mother and
trying to figure out, you know,is that her son?
(41:08):
Is that my brother?
What about that girl?
Who's that Facebook man.
Yeah.
So we have a lot of thoseexperiences.
And then I remember this, I hadmade this play to go plan, to go
out to LA.
And I knew I had to have theconversation with my parents.
(41:30):
And I gotta tell ya, I was muchmore about that conversation
than the one where I called mybirth mother really.
And that was just because, yeah,man, I really, The last time
that anything related to myadoption had even come up was
(41:51):
the night of my wedding, mygrandmother, the one who was the
nurse, you know, she said to me,you're getting married now.
I mean, aren't you, aren't youcurious?
Don't don't you want to knowmore like on your wedding?
It was like, yeah, here's theright kid.
I remember my mom was like, geez, I can't believe she just
(42:13):
brought this over.
Um, and of course, because mymom was present, I just kind of
blew it off.
And it was like, Oh, I don'tknow.
I haven't thought about it.
Right.
But, um, you know, it was not acommon discussion in our family.
So the only thing that I justnever wanted to hurt him, I
(42:40):
wanted it to be clear that Iwasn't looking for a replacement
mother.
I didn't feel like I was missingand the next thing in my life,
but I did want to know.
And I wanted to be able to havethe ability to walk in the light
(43:02):
of my own story.
Why like, why should there bequestion marks around that?
And so I only had a brief timewith them.
And so my mom tends to be atalker and she's talking about
this and that and the otherthing.
So finally I just yelled out,Hey, by the way, uh, I've been
(43:25):
in touch with my biologicalmother and grandfather and, um,
it's pretty cool.
They're nice.
And I tend to go meet them.
And of course my dad, who's nota very excitable guy.
And I think his eyebrows went tothe top of his head.
He leaned forward what my momhears.
(43:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
They always tease my sister thatshe's the actual one who was
adopted.
She hates it.
So, so your mother burst intotears.
She did.
And she said, I, how, whathappened?
I can't, I can't believe it.
You know?
And then she immediately said,um, I'm so happy.
(44:13):
She said, you know, Brian and I,our relationship is strong
enough to withstand anythingthat should come out of this.
And I do think it's time for youto know everything.
And, um, it was not the reactionI expected.
(44:37):
I, I thought, you know, it wouldimmediately be kind of
retracting and getting quiet.
Um, but it, it gave me theencouragement I need.
And since then, I mean, we'venavigated a lot of emotion, you
know, there, she, she didretract quite a bit after that
(44:58):
initial, uh, discussion.
She, she started to have some ofthose old fears creep in again,
and then it was less about meand now all of a sudden about my
kids and, you know, she can'thave my grandbabies, you know,
and, um, at the same time sheacknowledged me.
(45:21):
She said, you know, maybe thisis time for me to let go.
Of some of those fears that I'vebeen carrying for all these
years.
And man, it felt like within apretty short period of time,
Speaker 3 (45:38):
All this weight that just comes
Speaker 4 (45:43):
From a transaction like this, um, started to loosen
up with all of us.
And, and like I said, I mean,somewhat some of this stuff,
it's like, I didn't even know Ihad these sort of deep emotional
(46:07):
attachments around it.
And, um, man, there was nothinglike that moment of seeing my
birth mother for the first time.
Um, hugging her, the, the smell,the, the connection, the
(46:30):
familiarity.
So bizarre.
Um, did you find that my rolethere, half brother at that time
too?
Speaker 3 (46:38):
That's crazy.
Did you see any likeresemblances at all or was it
like running into somebody, likeyou said, and you just felt like
you've known them forever.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
Yeah.
We look alike.
Wow.
And It's, it's a bizarre feelingwhen there's, when you don't
know anything about a personSLIFE and what they've done,
where they've been, and yet shewasn't a stranger to me.
(47:17):
Wow.
Crazy.
I mean, you think about studiesaround adoption and even about
the sort of in utero, um,attachment that gets developed
between a mother and child.
Um, and that, that happensreally early on.
(47:40):
And to think that that manyyears went by, and there's still
something that happened in thatnine months that, you know, um,
was still there.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Well, I mean, it it's it's yeah.
I mean, I think it's on, uh, allsorts of levels from a, a DNA
level to a spiritual levelconnection.
Um, I can't remember the name ofthe doc off the top of my head,
but it was a doc on Netflixabout the three triplet boys.
(48:15):
And they were all, you know,adopted out to three separate
homes, all of different economicstandings and ultimately in the
end, as they grew older andthings, I mean, the things that
would come out in their lives orwhatever, certainly a bizarre
different outcome, but then whatyou're talking about, but that
(48:38):
connection is, is there.
And there's nothing that could,you know, separate that
Speaker 4 (48:47):
That's, it's so true.
And you know, when you, when youstart to see that there's
purpose and design in your life,that, uh, that again, you
couldn't have created foryourself, you know, it's, it's,
(49:09):
it's, there's so many strangeconnections.
Um, remember I told you thatwhen I started to really have
the desire to want to find mybirth mother was right when my
daughter was born.
What I didn't know is that milesfrom the hospital where we were,
(49:30):
my birth mother was had justgiven birth herself, um, to my
youngest sister who's within amonth of the same age as my
oldest daughter, man.
And yeah, it was actually mymiddle's middle daughter's
(49:51):
doctor delivered my sister.
I mean,
Speaker 3 (49:57):
These connections are crazy, man.
Yeah,
Speaker 4 (50:00):
Yeah.
You couldn't.
So, so then my, um, this is sostrange, but there was a, my
father was a LAPD officer andone of the guys in his unit was
a guy named Steve park.
He, he was somebody I knewgrowing up, his wife, Debbie is
(50:27):
my birth mother's um, bye
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Man, Brian, you've had now go ahead.
That's that's just, I don'tknow.
Have you ever done like a, a,just like on a white board, just
like written out I'm a visualthinker, right?
I would, I think I would have towrite down names and then, you
know, use yarn or something.
(50:56):
And just like, it'd beinteresting to see all of these
different connections on, at, ona timeline to see where everyone
was at a certain period of timeand just how close you were
orbiting this whole life, thiswhole group of people that you
were connected to.
Um, and before I get, yeah,before we go off too far on
(51:19):
that, I wanted to say somethingabout your mom, what a, um, an
amazing woman.
She sounds like to be able tounselfishly sort of unwind
herself and, and, and open up tothis.
I mean, that had to even open upthe door even further to make
this much more of a, an amazingexperience for you.
(51:41):
So you weren't having to now allof a sudden deal with serious
emotional baggage on one side.
And I know that there's probablybeen challenges, like you said,
along the way, but, uh, your momsounds like an amazing person.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
She is pretty special.
Um, there's no question aboutthat.
And, you know, that's why Inever wanted this story to be at
her expense and I could neverhave predicted how this would
turn out.
I mean, they talk all the time.
(52:19):
It's usually, you know, there'swine and tears involved, but
they'll call each other.
And, um,
Speaker 3 (52:28):
That's pretty amazing.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
And there's been this healing between the two of them.
That's it's, I can't evendescribe it, you know?
And, and then my, um, my mom,they started calling each other,
um, sister mothers.
Okay.
You know, it's man, I, I,would've never in a million
(52:54):
years, all I really wanted to dois be able to say thank you.
And to think that we get toexpand our family in this way.
And, um, be able to share lovebetween us is, is more than I
could have ever asked orimagined.
(53:15):
You know, I told my mom when shewas sort of struggling a little
bit, I said, you know, wheneveryou have a child, you
automatically have the capacityto love that child, even though
you don't really know who theyare, who they're going to turn
into.
It's like, it's just there, thelove, the capacity to love
(53:39):
within you just grows.
It's not like you have to takelove from, you know, your, one
of your previous children andthen share it.
It just expands.
And so in that same way, youknow, I told my mom, like, this
is expanded love.
Like I you're, my mother andnothing will ever change that.
(54:03):
And as we've leaned into some ofthose, um, tougher
conversations, it's, it's always, um, put us in a better,
stronger place.
Speaker 3 (54:17):
I know there's more to the story and you guys have
really connected and everything.
And, um, but how has it changedyour perspective on, on what you
do, you know, as a father, as ahusband, as a, as a son.
Um, and then how has that sortof affected you kind of, you
(54:37):
know, personally and your, andyour, and your, and your
professional life.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
That's a great question.
Um, I think the biggestrevelation for me was realizing
that my past, my present and myfuture aren't are not different
life stages.
(55:02):
All those things are connectedto one another, right.
You know, in my own personaljourney.
So even separate from, you know,the, the DNA part of it, I've
always wanted to understand myown identity, my, um,
relationship to God.
(55:23):
Um, and one of the things I'vealways questioned is what, what
was the purpose and all of that,you know, all those years ago,
and, you know, had I not beenadopted, where would I end up?
And, um, what would my life havebeen like?
And, you know, you ask yourselfthose kinds of questions.
(55:46):
And then when you see the bigpicture stitch together, the way
that God was always able to seeit, it's like you get to see how
your life matters and has alwaysmattered to God.
(56:07):
And for me, that now influencesevery interaction I have with my
kids, with my wife, withstrangers, um, because there's
divinity in of life.
And, um, the ability to just seeall those times I questioned
(56:30):
lonely moments, sad moments,depression, feeling
disconnected.
It's like, God could use thatstory and show me the bread
comes and say, I've always beenthere.
Speaker 2 (56:47):
That's amazing, man.
And it, it sounds like it is,you mentioned a while ago, it's,
it's given you the opportunityto just expand your capability
to, to love and to see thingsthat you didn't see before.
And that's, we all need more ofthat.
(57:09):
Um, these kinds of stories, theyjust don't end, you know, and
it's the kind of stories youwant to sit down and you want to
talk about, and, and they're,they're the kind of stories I
want to shoot and film and make,you know, make stories out of.
Um, so, um, I'm sure we'll getaround to that one of these
days, but again, Brian Williams,thank you so much for being on
the groove podcast today.
Um, where can people find you?
(57:30):
Are you, uh, are you on socialmedia guy or do you just kinda,
uh, my knee, I knew you were onFacebook.
You know, you're an expertFacebook stalker, but, uh, where
can people
Speaker 4 (57:43):
My profile?
Um, I, I don't post a lot.
Um, but I, I do definitely havesome pictures up there.
Um, so you can, you can find meon Facebook.
I'm mr.
M R B E E w on Instagram.
So mr.
BW, find me on LinkedIn,
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Dude.
Are you a DJ as well?
Okay, we'll go on that.
Uh, well, that's awesome, man.
Um, thanks again, Brian.
And, uh, man, I wish you thebest of luck in this continued
expansion in your life.
Cause it seems to me like, it'sjust, it's doing nothing, but it
expanding further and further.
Speaker 4 (58:26):
No doubt about it.
And like you said, um, it reallyis a story that that never ends
and that's true for all of usand, um, you know, in a, in a
year like twin 20, um, all wehave is the people around us and
, um, you know, so anytime Ihave the opportunity to, um,
(58:50):
share my story, it's, it'slife-giving to me.
And I really appreciate theopportunity, man.
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Thanks Brian.
You know what?
Sometimes the group finds us andsometimes we find the groove and
in this case it sounds like itwas a perfect combination of
both, uh, take care, man.
And we'll talk again soon.
Look forward to it.
Thanks.
To get more information aboutBrian and to see some cool
pictures of his newly expandedfamily, head over to the groove
podcast.com.
Also, if you'd like to helpsupport our show, click on the
(59:20):
Patrion and join up with some ofour other patrons like Maria,
Elena, and Sue van Fossen.
We really appreciate all thesupport and be sure to subscribe
and rate and give us a reviewwherever you listen to your
podcasts, it really helps us outa lot.
You can check out mywebsite@devinpence.com.
I have a photography blog now,and I've been posting some old
(59:42):
school film photography, and I'musually hanging out on Instagram
at Devin Pence and feel free tojoin my Facebook pages as well.
That's it for this episode, hangin there, stay strong, stay
safe, and stay tuned for anotherepisode of the groove.
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