December 16, 2019 • 47 mins
The holidays can be the best of times and the worst of times.
On this holiday episode of The Groove Podcast, Devin & Regie talk about the volatility of the holidays. For many, it's the best of times with family, friends, and celebrations. But for others, it's just another day or a grim reminder of holidays past where tragedy struck. And for many, it's nothing more than time marching on.
Devin and Regie talk about being self-employed throughout the holidays and the challenges they faced working to make great memories for their families while keeping the business rolling.
Based on actual events, Regie talks about the haunting memory that drove him to write his Novella, One Silent Night. There are a couple of musical surprises thrown in as well.
Head over to TheGroovePodcast.com to get more information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to the groove with Devin Pence and
Reggie ham.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You have to take risks that will be
disappointments and failures anddisasters as a result of taking
these risks.
This task was acquainted to you,and if you do not find a way,
great moments are born, greatopportunity.
(00:27):
And that's what you have here inthe end.
That's all we really are.
I just stories.
Stories are what our lives aremade up of.
Stories, how we remember peopleand stories make us feel a
little less alone in the world.
What's up everybody?
This is Devin Pence.
(00:47):
This is Reggie ham and welcometo a, I guess what we could call
the, the holiday edition of thegroup podcast.
Yes.
The holiday edition of thegroove.
Yeah.
So, uh, as we were talking aboutjust a few minutes before we
start recording, uh, theholidays can always bring ups
all sorts of different emotions,um, across the board.
(01:11):
So many emotions from timeyou're a child, the time you're
an adult and the things youexperience.
Um, but I thought maybe what wecould talk about today is a
couple of things as to how, uh,first of all, maybe you know,
some of your experiences.
I'd love to hear about thatbecause obviously that sparked,
um, your novella that you wrote,which I'd love to talk about.
(01:32):
Um, and then maybe talk abouthow, uh, freelancers or
creatives or, um, just artistsin general who kind of, uh, work
nonstop cause that's how theymake their living, um, react to
the holidays, you know, and thestopping point.
Does that sound good
Speaker 1 (01:51):
dude?
Absolutely.
I think that's really important.
I think a lot of people would beresonating with that because the
holidays trigger us one way oranother, you know.
Um, I've always thought thehollow, there's a lot of, there
are a lot of stakes attached tothe two, particularly Christmas.
You know what I mean?
It's like if something badhappens to you on Christmas, you
(02:14):
remember that the rest of yourlife, you know, because
Christmas comes every year andit's all, there are all these
stakes attached to it.
Uh, if something Rae happens toyou on Christmas, uh, you know,
that, that colors the rest ofthe, you know, the rest of your
Christmases.
I've always felt like, like youdon't want, like, this is going
to sound horrible.
I've never, I like, I alwayswant to make sure if I could, I
(02:38):
just don't want to die aroundthe holidays, you know what I
mean?
Cause it'll really, it'll affectmy kids.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I don't want, youdon't want anybody to die around
the holidays.
You don't want any kind oftragedy to happen.
It's like you're just reallywalking gingerly.
Like, man, let this thing gogreat with this thing.
Go great.
You know?
Well, I know and, and you know,unfortunately, you know, as the
older we get, you know, thesethings kind of happen in my, my
(02:59):
grandmother
Speaker 3 (03:00):
passed away, uh, right around the holidays.
Um, uh, just a quick story thatmy wife and I, that particular
year in our great wisdom decidedto spend Christmas in Vegas.
What could go wrong?
You know, Hey, you know, so manySanta clauses, uh, and you know,
we were there and we were, youknow, you know, enjoying
ourselves and, and I got thecall from my dad and, uh, this
(03:22):
is just a few days afterChristmas.
Um, if I remember correctly.
And now, you know, of course,every year it's kinda like, you
know, and then the whole family,you know, grandma, this is the
time of year.
It's been five years sincegrandma passed away.
And you know, it's, it's, that'sa tough memory to do.
Um, but you're right, it, itruns the emotion, like, you
know, so
Speaker 1 (03:43):
yeah, it will never, you know, and you'll always have
that like the rest of your life.
You'll remember that yourgrandmother passed away around
the holidays.
I, my wife and I got married twodays after Christmas.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And are you tying them with death
Speaker 1 (04:00):
or you know, when horrible things happen to you
around the holiday?
No, my wife and I got marriedtwo days after Christmas, mainly
because, and we discussed thefact that we'll, we'll, you
know, it'll be Fest it, it'll bea festive season.
We'll already be celebrating.
I mean, this was our rationale,you know, we'll never forget it.
You know, we'll always rememberit.
I promise you, every year we,one of us forget, Oh my gosh,
(04:23):
our anniversary is coming up,you know, because we're so
exhausted from the holidays thatwe forget that literally two
days later we have ananniversary, you know, it's,
Speaker 3 (04:31):
well then we have with the kids and everything and
all the pumps, circumstance,you're like, Oh man.
And then I would imagine that,uh, the anniversary and it's
like, Hey, let's go to crystalor
Speaker 1 (04:42):
somehow now we, we always managed to figure it out,
but, but it's not just, it's notjust me that it's, and it's not
even really about forgetting.
It's about, it just sort ofsneaks up on you, you know,
cause you've got Christmas andyou got the day after Christmas
and you're, Oh my gosh, we're,this is our anniversary, you
know, so we didn't think itthrough.
Imagine that young young peoplenot thinking something through.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, it's always the right thing at the time when
you're at age.
Um, but it does, it, it hits,you know, we talk about having
kids and, and the excitementfrom the time, I don't know
about you guys, but it's like,you know, even when you're
having like a little baby, youjust want to have that big
Christmas thing.
And then as they get older, it'slike every Christmas becomes
(05:26):
this sort of event.
And then if you're involved inlike church or whatever, you
know, you remember the church,Christmas Cantata is different
things like that.
You're doing that and you're,you know, it's just a busy hubub
time of year.
Um, before a lot of people, uh,myself included, you know,
you're talking about triggers,man.
(05:46):
For me, I, you know, we alwaysmanaged to do the big Christmas,
right?
We had great Christmas for thekids.
You know, we always had thattime of, uh, you know, Claus and
so forth and so on.
But for me professionally, um,it would toss me into a
depression mode.
Like, you know, sometimes to adark place because I, the other
(06:09):
11, 364 days a the year orwhatever it is, I am just my eye
turning.
I'm churning, I'm churning andchurning and suddenly everything
stops.
Yeah.
You know, my clients are gonefor two weeks.
I don't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do withmyself.
And, uh, for me it would put mein a place of, you know, we used
(06:32):
to talk about this all the timeabout, Hey, you know, just don't
look down.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
And that's the time you do, you end up looking down
because you got nothing else todo.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
And then you start, you know, in at least my process
was as I started thinking about,man, how am I even doing this
anyway?
I have a family.
How, how,
Speaker 1 (06:52):
yeah.
You start deconstructing yourentire life.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah.
And like, and there's no way Ican go back to this.
Like, you know, there's just, Idon't know, it put me in a funk.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Well, I, I, dude, I totally get it.
And a lot of times people forgetthat the self employed, uh,
don't get guaranteed paychecks,you know?
And so, you know, it's all, I,I've always had this, this sort
of like, I dunno, pet peeve ofpeople who are getting
(07:22):
guaranteed checks throughout theyear and they'd get their little
Christmas bonus and they're getto, or maybe it's a big
Christmas bonus, but either way,it's at the end of the year,
they're still getting theirchecks, they're getting their
bonuses, whatever app, man,we're gonna, we're gonna, we're
gonna shut everything down onthe 15th.
And I'm like looking at the 15thgoing, man, I need to work four
more days, you know?
(07:43):
Oh my gosh, I can't, how manytimes mr ham have a great
holiday season?
That check's going to be to you.
I promise it's going to be toyou January 3rd at the latest.
It's like, well, uh, okay, I'llask my kids to open their
presence on January 4th then,you know, no, I'm the same way,
dude.
And it's not just financial, butit is an emotional thing where
everything grinds to halt andyou feel like you've been put
(08:05):
in, in kind of a vault.
You know what I mean?
And, and, and the other thingis, you know, that nothing,
nothing is really going to getstarted until February.
Oh, at Nana.
I mean, everybody's going tohave, you know, January.
Oh man, I'm playing catch up.
You know, it's, it's nothing.
Everything kinda, and I, I, Ilove the holidays.
(08:26):
For me, it's a good trigger.
I've, I've, my parents alwaysdid a great job of, you know,
doing Christmas right.
And I've always said, uh, youget enough bad days in your
life.
Christmas should not be one ofthem.
You know what I mean?
Especially when you're a kid.
I'd bend over backwards to makesure my kids are like, you know,
you know, ecstatic on Christmasmorning and it's wonderful.
(08:49):
It's for me, Deb, it's alwaysthe day after Chris, the G,
December 26th to me is, that'sthe most depressed day of the
year for me.
And then the, in the 27th iswhen I have to, I panic and
realize it's my anniversary.
And then we start getting readyfor new year's Eve.
But the, but, but December 26th,the day after Christmas after,
(09:09):
you know, after you've, you know, spent all the money and
you've, you know, bought all thefood and you've, you know, and
that, and now you have to kindof look at the consequences and
go, Oh man, okay.
And then you feel like you kindof have to grind it back up and
start, you know, start all overagain.
But, um, yeah, it's uh, the selfemployed, you know, I don't know
how many people are listeningwho are self employed, but that
(09:30):
is a, that is a tough row tohoe.
And especially in holidays, uh,you have to really be strategic
in how you manage your money andhow you, you know, when you
bring in certain amounts ofincome, et cetera, et cetera.
And you always need twice asmuch money in December than you
do the rest
Speaker 3 (09:48):
always.
And you never know.
You know, I've had years where Iworked up in, through, you know,
right up to Christmas, rightafter Christmas.
And it was like, Oh my, and thenof course it's like, Oh, you
know, I'm so busy, I can't evenenjoy my family.
And then I've had years whereit's been just like crickets and
there's, it's hard to plan forthat.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I, I, I will tell you , I, when I was kind of in my
workaholic days, um, and it wasthe year 1995, uh, and I write
about this in my book, angelsand idols, but I remember
distinctly, I worked onHalloween.
Uh, I was working onThanksgiving day.
(10:29):
I worked on Christmas Eve.
I went into the office onChristmas day.
Uh, I worked on new year's Eveand new year's day.
Um, I went, I went into theoffice on Christmas day, uh, and
the next year it was 96.
I went into the office onChristmas day and my publisher
(10:49):
was in there, Sean McSpadden onChristmas day.
And we kind of looked at eachother and went, what do we do?
You know, this is this, thismight be borderline obsession,
you know, uh, and it was not ahealthy thing.
So, so, so I do believe, uh, Ido believe in somehow being able
(11:12):
to compartmentalize, to takethat time off, be present with
your family.
And I've, I've made a, I made arule in my house, uh, for my,
for my family, extended familythat comes over a lot of times
they want to talk to me aboutwhat, what do you got going on?
What are you doing?
You know, and I've, I've kind ofmade this sort of unofficial,
(11:33):
uh, unspoken rule.
I've sort of whispered itthroughout.
I don't want to talk about mybusiness on Christmas, right?
You know, if you come over or ifyou become a real Christmas Eve
or Christmas day, I don't reallywant to talk about what I'm
doing and what I have going on.
This is about something else.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It is in my family.
Um, oftentimes will come to meand they're like, now what do
you do again?
What, what, what is your jobagain?
You know, now when are you goingto get a job?
Are you?
Well, and I think, David, areyou going to finish college?
(12:11):
I've done all of college.
I'm going to do, and that's inanother podcast for me.
I mean the one thing you talkabout that day particular and,
and for me it's Christmas Evegetting everything prepped,
especially when your kids arekind of at that golden Santa
Claus.
I can remember distinctly, youknow, when my oldest started,
(12:31):
you know, he got old enough tosit on Santa's lap without
crying and back in the day, youknow, you weren't always like
buy it.
You know, all the Santa setupswere different.
Right.
And I can remember this oneparticular year, he always been
a big boy, sat on SANAS lap andI could see his lips moving a
lot.
Okay.
But I couldn't hear what he wassaying.
Right.
I didn't, you know,
Speaker 1 (12:51):
he's making stuff up in the moment right now.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And we're home later that night.
Of course it's Christmas Eve andwe're, we just settled, you
know, we're trying to settledown and think about, okay,
finally, you know, goteverything together and this is
probably like 11, 11, 30.
And Jordan, my oldest at thetime, he was three or four.
He comes up to me, says, I can'twait.
Daddy SANAS bringing me a bigtrain with models and trees and
(13:18):
everything.
And I just, I just can't, Igotta go to sleep.
I can't wait.
And he went upstairs and Ilooked at my wife and I'm like,
yeah, I just straight got myjacket on, got the keys, thank
God for 24 hour Walmarts, keeptrains and you know, you went
out, got him the train and guesswhat there the next morning, you
(13:39):
know, and that was, that's allpart of it.
You just love it.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Good.
But that's a good memory.
I, I, my, my son now is 13 andhe started, um, he started
asking Santa for things thatdon't, that don't exist.
He, he started, he startedmaking things up that he and I,
and I would say, buddy, youknow, I mean you gotta you know,
(14:04):
you gotta, you gotta give Santasomething.
He can, you know that, that heknows, he goes, no, he makes
everything at the workshop.
I mean, he knows how to make agrappling hook with a star laser
on it.
I mean, he could, the elves cando, you know, he, he bought, he
fully, fully bought in and thenit kind of started turning on
me.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah.
Anyway, you've got like ducttape and cardboard out.
Like
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I though that the last year that that happened, I
actually did spend about a weekbuilding something that, I mean
it was the best I could kind offigure out.
And you know, he kind of lookedat it when he opened it, a lack
of, see the wheels turn.
Like this is kind of what I wasasking for, but I thought it
would look a little more JamesBond in this.
(14:51):
I didn't think it was going tobe made out of PVC.
Um, you know, but, uh, those,those are, I mean, listen, you
know, you, you make indeliblememories on Christmas.
I, I can't wait to talk to myson, you know, in a few years
when he's, when he's been ableto process some of his Christmas
memories because I don't knowabout you Deb.
(15:13):
I do know about you andeverybody's like this.
I had something that happened tome when I was nine that I kind
of stowed away for years.
I didn't think too much aboutit.
I, I, I thought about it kind ofevery Christmas Eve sort of in
passing.
Um, but about, I would say fiveor six years ago, it started
(15:36):
really haunting me, uh, becauseI started thinking about the
weight of it.
And that's what became thenovella that you spoke about
earlier.
One silent night.
Uh, when I started, when Ireally started processing this
memory and thinking about it,um, I started, uh, just kinda
rolling down the Hill, you knowwhat I mean?
It was like, Oh my gosh, a lotof stuff started unraveling.
(15:57):
But when I was nine years old,my family was called to the
mission, to the Nashville rescuemission.
Uh, my father's a minister aswas years as is.
They both still are.
But, um, and we were, you know,we were the musical family that
went and sang for people andthis and that.
(16:18):
And, um, so we went to theNashville rescue mission mission
on Christmas Eve.
I'll never forget it.
Um, one of the rare times thatthere were snow flurries on
Christmas Eve in Nashville.
And, uh, we, we went in and wesang for, you know, the general
population, uh, people, a lotof, you know, like older guys
(16:39):
and people who, you know, kindadown on, on, on their luck.
Uh, and then, you know, dadlooks at the leader of the
mission that kind of gave eachother knowing nods and they let
us back to this private room.
And, uh, and it had been, it hadbeen us and some church people,
but in this particular case, itwas just me, my dad, my mom and
(17:02):
my brother were sort of usheredinto this private room.
And in this room was a lady whohad just given birth that day
and she was homeless and it waslike she was there and there was
a newborn baby.
It was very, uh, it was a verystark thing for nine year old to
see.
I mean it was just, I, I, theminute I walked in, my first
(17:25):
thought was, I don't think Ishould be in here, you know.
Um, anytime I'm back to the VIProom at the, uh, at the shelter
and family in the house, thegreen room right there was,
there was going to be a bottledwater and a mixed nuts, uh, a
veggie tray.
But no, no, there was none ofthat.
(17:46):
But, uh, I, yeah, it was a, itwas a really, we ask you though,
what do you remember, like asidefrom him, cause you, you know,
you're nine years old, you'dbeen around babies and stuff
before.
What about that particularincident made you feel like,
Ooh, I shouldn't be in here?
Well, the baby was smaller thanmost babies that I had seen.
(18:07):
So I, I kind of put, puttogether, you know, that this
baby has just been born, youknow, this is what a newborn
baby looks like.
Um, and that was in itself alittle bit off putting and that
I'll never, the, the woman'srobe I'll never forget was it
was just, it was like, it wasgray and it was like dirty and
torn and her hair was kind ofstringy.
(18:28):
And I could, and then I may dothis sounds dramatic, but it's
true.
Like she moved a certain way andI saw, I saw, you know, needle
marks on her arm.
I saw, I saw the tracks.
I, I, and so I'd say, you know,my gosh, I'd seen enough cop
shows or whatever to know, Oh,wait a minute.
That's what they call it.
That's what, that's what thoseare, you know.
(18:48):
Um, and then I started puttingit together in my head.
This, this lady's a drug addict,you know, and, uh, this, she's
in the homeless shelter.
This is not, you know, thisisn't a positive thing.
This, she's, she's in a badsituation and it, and it just
felt like really adult, youknow, it felt like this is stuff
adults should be dealing with.
(19:09):
I don't know what I'm doing inhere.
Uh, lots of process at, at nine.
Yeah.
And I, you know, I've talked tomy brother about, he was seven,
he does not actually rememberit.
And so I was just on the cusp ofthat, you know, being able to,
to burn memories where, youknow, you remember him later and
whatever.
And uh, but we were there tobasically sing for her.
You know, we, we sang a coupleof songs for her and she, you
(19:34):
know, she sat there and justkinda balled like a baby and
held her, held her newborn.
And my mother brought her, youknow, like a hairbrush and
diapers and, you know, babypowder and just stuff that she
would need, just basic staples.
Um, and that turned into[inaudible] and I, and I've
remembered it, but it was, but Ijust, I remember it usually
(19:56):
every Christmas Eve, once, oncein, during a Christmas Eve,
I'll, I'll get a quiet momentand I'll remember it and I'll
start thinking, I'll startwondering about what happened to
that kid, you know, whathappened to that woman, what
happened to her child?
And, um, a few years ago I wrotea blog about it and, and it sent
me, really sent me down thisrabbit hole of imagination and,
(20:20):
and questions and all kinds ofstuff.
And that, that's what ended upbecoming the, the a novella one
silent night.
And also you brought up theChristmas Cantata.
That was also the, probably oneof the last years that I was
there, the little drummer boy inthe Christmas play.
And I don't, I don't, I'm surethis was the same day.
(20:40):
Same with you buddy, cause you,you played drums young as well
as, as, as I did seven, eight
Speaker 3 (20:47):
hard years of a little drummer boy.
People, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Exactly.
And it when you can play thedrums young, they always write
you into the Christmas play asthe little drummer boy, you
know, you, they can't not, youknow, and I think you said one
time, you know, a 49 year oldoverweight guy doesn't look
right as the little drummer.
Boy, you know, this is nowherein scripture by the way.
This story was just completelymade up out of whole cloth by
(21:17):
Catherine Kennecott Davis, asongwriter.
I love it though.
I love, I love a little drummer.
Boy.
It's probably my favoriteChristmas song.
It's, it's a wonderful imaginingof someone giving their all, you
know, and in it, I can't hardlyget through it without tearing
up because it just reminds me ofbeing that kid and I relate to
(21:39):
him on so many levels or relatedto him, you know, that any, you
know, whenever I sing the line,I'm a poor boy too.
I mean, dude, I mean I was, youknow, that's the way I was
raised in and I played my drumfor him.
I played my best for him.
I mean, that's,
Speaker 3 (21:56):
and that was your offering, right?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
That's it.
That's, that was my offering.
And that's honestly, man to thisday, it's, I played just, uh,
just last week in New Jersey and, uh, in, in as I was singing
it, I re I, I'm thinking tomyself, this is still all I
really have to give, you know,this is, this is the only thing
of that gap.
The gap got this little, youknow, this little ability that,
(22:18):
um, I keep trying to hone in andperfect and give, you know, give
all of it.
Uh, so that song just wrecks me.
So that song coupled with thatstory, because that, you know,
earlier that week I had playedthe little drummer boy in the
Christmas play and then sangsilent night in this lady's, uh,
(22:41):
well in this homeless shelterand all of that, all of those
memories running together reallyis what became the novella one
silent night.
And, and the CD that, you know,all of the songs from the CD are
embedded in the story,
Speaker 3 (22:56):
which I think is great.
And that's such a, you know, theconcept of that song.
Uh, cause that was the same way.
I can remember laying even doingit at church, but even listening
to it on the radio and you know,cause we would always take long
Christmas trips and you'd, youknow, it'd be really quiet.
That was before seatbelts, soyou could kind of lay down and
relax in the back seat and youjust kind of like, and that song
(23:19):
would come on.
And I'm just watching the starsgo by.
I mean, there's a lot ofmemories, but, but you know, it
all goes together with, youknow, the, the story of the
Wiseman and just in general,it's like, you know what, in
life in general like this, yougive what you can give and
sometimes it's a little,sometimes it's a lot.
Um, but dude, why don't we playa little bit of that, that, that
(23:41):
song I'd love to be great.
Yeah.
Right.
I'm just gonna roll it.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Um, they to me [inaudible] Oh, a newborn team
to see[inaudible] finest gifts.
We bring Burr up.
(24:10):
Um, uh, maybe for the[inaudible]rapid ramp up,
Speaker 3 (24:28):
so
Speaker 4 (24:28):
to honor him [inaudible] um, when we
Speaker 5 (24:41):
[inaudible]
Speaker 6 (24:46):
[inaudible]
Speaker 4 (24:47):
rum.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
Hi.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I am a pool boy too.
I have no gift to bring.
That's good to[inaudible]
Speaker 3 (25:23):
man.
That's such true.
I mean, every time I hear it, Ican remember just real quickly a
story.
You know, when you were doingthis and you had sent me in an
early version of it just beforeI was going to take a road trip
that year we were gonna, we weredriving to one of the family
somewhere and you know, my wifewas, you know, she passes out
asleep before we get out of thedriveway.
(25:44):
So it's just kind of me and my,you know, my headphones and, and
it was a perfect time and Ilistened to the entire thing and
there was a couple of times Ihad to pull over.
Like I, I was just crying like ababy.
And then when that song came onand I'm just like, and then like
my wife kind of stirred aroundand looked at me and like, um,
tears are coming down my eyes.
(26:06):
She's like, you okay?
And like, I'm fine.
I'm just listening to Reggie'snew Christmas thing.
He just put out.
Oh, and she went back to sleep.
But dude, it's, it's veryinspiring.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Well, I appreciate it and it honestly kind of wraps up
for me the story of this benchass stain.
The, the meat, the maincharacter has a lot of bad
memories of Christmas.
And I think it, it goesperfectly with what the way you
started this, uh, this, thispodcast.
(26:38):
But this guy, and, and I, and Irecognize there are just so many
people out there who have a lotof bad triggers with Christmas.
They've got a lot of things thathave happened to them that they
would somehow love to reconcile.
And, uh, the movie saving Mr.
Banks is one of my favorites.
And there's a great scene wherea Walt Disney is trying to
(27:00):
convince the lady who wrote theMary Poppins books, um, to, to
let him make this movie.
And she's not very happy aboutthe frivolity of the movie and
they're dancing with penguinsand all of this kind of
whimsical stuff she's just nothappy with.
Because the real story is aboutthe Mary Poppins character.
(27:21):
They're the real story shedidn't even write about.
But that, that we see that thewe see that actually happened
was her father was, you know, uh, uh, an alcoholic and this
woman was basically coming totheir house to help get him
clean.
And that's who Mary Poppinsactually was in.
And she ultimately did not getthe job done.
And he actually, uh, it's, it's,I don't want to give the movie
(27:44):
away, but it's, it's a verytragic story that she turned
into these books and Walt Disneyis trying to turn it into this
really kind of, you know,whimsical almost, you know, just
kind of Pollyanna looking filmand she can't reconcile that.
And Walt Disney says somethingto her that I love.
(28:06):
He says, you know, artists getto rewrite the story and give it
a happy ending.
And I love that concept.
And I think maybe in some way,once silent night is sort of my
attempt at that in and in givingthis guy, this Ben Shasta and
character who has all of thesereally negative, very tragic
(28:31):
triggers with Christmas to givethis person a wonderful
Christmas redemption.
And I think that's the thing.
We're kind of always lookingfor, right?
And that's, and the good newsabout Christmas, the bad news is
the stakes are high and anythingbad can happen and you remember
it for the rest of your life.
But the good news aboutChristmas is you get a chance
(28:53):
every year to, to maybe redeemthat in some way, you know, to,
to, to, to, to add a greatmemory to the Christmas bank of
memories, um, that then you cannow look back on and go, man,
that five years ago, mygrandmother, dad, but man, last
year this happened and it wasgreat.
And now I can kind of balancethose things out.
(29:16):
That's what you hope.
That's what you hope can happenduring the holidays, right?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Yeah.
You do.
And, and even though thosememories won't go away, um, you
know, there's something thatI've kind of discovered later in
life as well.
Um, you always kind of think,you know, Oh, you know, I'm just
gonna it's going to be a happyChristmas, or if I could just
get this for Christmas or if Ican do this or, I mean, it's all
about the human story and thehuman spirit.
And, uh, I've often wondered whyI'd be driving somewhere on
(29:43):
Christmas Eve going to a familymember's house or whatever and
you drive by a bar or something,you know, and it's like packed.
And as a kid always, I wasalways wondering like, you know,
what are they doing in there?
You know, like, why aren't theyhome with their families?
And, um, you know, and, and I'mnot saying like that, you know,
Speaker 1 (29:59):
now you know why they were in leaders.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Now my car is parked at a park in the back.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Now you walk in and like 15 people said,[inaudible]
Speaker 3 (30:11):
dev, Hey, everybody knows my name.
Merry Christmas.
Uh, but it is, you know, I thinkit's a time of year to reflect.
And something else we want totouch on just briefly and not,
this is kind of dawned on me acouple of weeks ago, but you
know, not only are we coming upon the end of, you know, the
year as always and how timeflies, you know, we're coming up
(30:32):
on the end of a decade dude,right?
We're getting ready to cross offanother 10.
And, uh, I, I kind of get kindof freaked out on my head
sometimes.
Cause you know, when you havekids and you've, you've kind of
raised your kids and you lookback on it, or like even the
high school experience when Iwas in high school, dude, I was
there for four years and itseemed like it was 20, you know,
(30:54):
you look back on raising yourkids and, and you'd look back
like, man, that went so fastand, and I think about these
past 10 years and I'm like, man,you know, it seemed to go by
fast, but, but as I begin tokind of process it, there's so
much you can do in 10 years.
I mean it's, it's a huge amountof time, but, uh, and, and I
(31:17):
don't, I don't, I don't knowabout you.
I mean, I think we've talkedabout this before.
I don't buy in a whole lot of,you know, like new year's
resolutions anymore or anythinglike that.
Um, just because I feel like,you know, I mean some people do
and it helps spark change andcongratulations.
And I hope, you know, I wish thebest for everybody, however you
(31:37):
process things.
But, uh, yeah, it just kind ofstruck me that we're, we're
crossing off another 10 man.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Well, there's a couple of things I'm upset
about.
The flying cars is definitelyone.
It mandate this, I think signsled us down there, you know?
Uh, and then also the, all thematching silver jumpsuits.
I just thought we'd all bewearing matching silver
jumpsuits.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
My perspective on the flying cars, there's a reason
that we don't have flying carsand I'm okay with it because
these people can't even drivecars that are, you know, planted
to the ground mean, can youimagine?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We really haven't mastered the car yet.
You know what I mean?
Like the driving car, yet I'mstill holding out for the
jumpsuits though.
This the matching silverjumpsuit.
Let's just
Speaker 3 (32:21):
do it.
Let's just start grass roots.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah.
I, I, that's the, that's thething that always intrigued me
about the future was that we alldressed the same.
I just, I was a, I'd always lookat that and go, man, when, when
does that happen?
When do we all start buying ourclothes at the same place?
We get the same suit.
Everybody's the same, you knowwhat I mean?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Let me ask you a question and as we kind of start
wrapping this up, but you know,this is kind of a big question
for you.
Who as we're talking aboutcoming to the end of this
decade, I mean, what are youseeing for yourself?
What, what do you have ahead ofyou?
And I'm not asking you, youknow, about necessary projects
and that thing, but where do youfind yourself kind of at, in
(33:01):
life at this time?
At this stage?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Man, that's a really, that is a big question and it's
a really, uh, you're, you'reasking me at a really
interesting time in my life.
Um, Deb, you know, you know mesince we're 18 years old, um, I,
I was always a goal maker.
You know, I would write since Iwas probably 18 or 19, I, maybe
younger than that, I would getthree by five cards every year,
(33:27):
write lists of goals.
I want to achieve this, I wantto achieve that, uh, and end a
lot of years I did those things.
Um, every year when I was signedto this certain publisher, uh,
I'll talk about Sean McSpadden.
We, we would do, we would getthe, our pads out, you know,
first week of January, we'd sitdown with our legal pads, OK,
here's what we want to, we wantto go here.
(33:47):
We want to go there, we want todo this, we want to do that.
Um, and I think, I'm kindagetting to a place now in my
life where this is gonna soundkinda corny and maybe esoteric.
It's really about resonance.
It's really about all theprojects that I do.
I want them, I want to resonatewith people.
I want to honestly help peoplethrough that, through the
(34:08):
projects, uh, that I do.
Um, I, I, I don't necessarilyhave, you know, lists of goals.
I think what I do now is everyyear I kind of have one large,
uh, goal is maybe the wrongword, but just kind of, uh, uh,
project, uh, a projection.
(34:29):
Like, uh, last year I had this,I, I kind of distilled
everything down to one thing andthere was a certain project I
really wanted to get on wheelsand I just thought 2019 is the
year to do it.
And literally we may be, youknow, getting it, uh, it may be
happening like right here at thelast week of the year and it
(34:50):
took, it took all year to, to,to make it happen.
But through that process, um, wone of the things you learn is a
lot, a lot of times things takelonger than you think they're
going to take.
So I would say fewer goals, justmore important goals.
And, and really within thosethings, w I, I really shoot for
(35:12):
more for a concept of, ofresonating with people, with
helping people with, um, I don'tknow if that makes any sense,
but, uh, uh, you know, insteadof me going, I want to write 50
songs next year and I want to, Iwant to have three number one
songs, you know, when I was asongwriter, primarily a
songwriter or I want to do 50podcast next year, would they
have, and I want them to goviral and this and that.
(35:32):
I, I w I wanna write, you know,200 blogs and I want to at least
four of them to go, you know, togo viral.
I think now what I really wantto do is, it's not even really
about the quantity and now it'sa, it's not even necessarily
about the quality per se.
The quality obviously has to bethere, but it's about the
resonance.
(35:52):
It's about the impact, it'sabout them, the significance
making a difference with, witheverything that I do.
Making, uh, making an impact,helping somebody realize
something they've been trying torealize or discover something
they've been trying to discoveror you know, find hope in
something they've been needing.
Um, some might say that that ishelping you find God, you know,
(36:15):
may helping you point the pointyour self in the right
direction.
And that's really what my lifehas become about, uh, lately and
particularly this year.
It's, it's, I've been through abig process, uh, this year and
that's really what it comes downto.
And so I would, I would finishup by asking you the same
question.
What, what do you see for Devin?
Speaker 3 (36:36):
You know, I think for me it's probably less and less
as you said, you know, when youwere younger it was all about
what's next?
What am I going to do next?
How am I gonna, you know, buildmy career and, and, and I, I
don't have any plans of stoppingand learning.
Cause I think that's important.
I think as you get older it's,you know, I never want to stop
learning things cause you canget, you know, especially in, in
(36:58):
our business, man, you can getleft behind in a heartbeat.
Um, I think I'm in the sameboat.
You know, we've talked about[inaudible] and we both
collectively we've got separateprojects going on and some
projects together.
And then of course, uh, thepodcast, um, my goal I think for
the podcast is to, you know,bring as many people on as we
can and, and just let peopleshare stories because there's a
(37:20):
lot of, there's a lot of stuffthat happens where the real
stories are to it, you know,it's kinda like what you're made
of is what helps you get up anddo what you have to do.
I create content and I thinkabout that and how I can help,
you know, impact somebody'slife.
And I see it.
(37:41):
I don't know if it's maybebecause I'm getting older or you
know, we're both getting older,but I can see that, well, you're
getting older.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're the one that doesn't Marktiming.
I don't Mark Tom anymore, but Ithink people are more receptive
to, like you said, I meanneeding some hope.
(38:01):
And for me there's somethingthat I'm trying to wake up to
and I'm not awake to that yet,but I am trying to wake up to
this whole, and you know, itsounds a little cliche too,
cause there's a billion books onit, but trying to just live in
the moment, trying to, and thennow, because I've, I've now had
the chance in my life where I'vehad ups and downs, I've had
(38:24):
successes, I've had failures,um, and, and success and success
in your life when you're 20 or30 means one thing, a success in
your later in life, it couldmean another.
But one thing I'm finding is itdoesn't matter if you succeed or
if you fail, they both requireyou to start over.
(38:44):
And that's a truth.
And it's so, it's kind of aboutchange and, and man, you know,
like if, if, if, if I had$1billion in the bank tomorrow, my
life would be so stressed out.
Like, Oh, what are we going todo with this?
What are we going to do withthis money?
I mean there's so, you know whatI mean?
(39:05):
So it's kind of like trying tolearn to live in that moment and
, and, and take the time toenjoy what's happening as it's
happening.
Because being self employed andhave my own company and you
know, you get this man, it'slike one day, my wife and I were
talking about this last night,you know, you've got those years
(39:25):
or months where you're like,man, you're just, you're
grinding, grinding, grinding.
And it's like no one even hearsyou.
Like you're screaming andthere's nothing coming out.
No one looks at you, no onecalls you.
And then for whatever reason,all of a sudden the next month
everybody's calling you.
And I think the key there is to,you know, it's not luck, it's
(39:48):
about consistency.
And I think for me that's what,what I'm trying to push towards
is being more consistent,focusing more on things that
matter in the long run, comingfrom the marketing promo world,
everything has to be done.
Now we've got a promo that'sgoing to air on ABC tomorrow
night at seven 30 this thing hasto be done, dah, dah, dah, dah,
(40:09):
dah, dah.
And so my whole life, a lot ofmy life has been based on like
hard deadlines and stuff likethat.
Um, but I'm now trying to turnmy focus on longer form
projects, things that do takelonger.
And believe me, as you said,everything takes long way longer
than you think it's going to.
You always hear about these likea list like movie stars and
(40:30):
directors that were like, yeah,it took us 10 years to get that
film may.
And I'm thinking, why, you know,I bet I could do a film in eight
months.
I just need the chance.
Well guess what?
That is not the way it works mybrands.
But that's, that's kinda,
Speaker 1 (40:45):
well it's that, that really, I think both of our
answers point back to the, the,the reason for this podcast and
the name of it is the groove andthere is a, there is a lifelong
art to finding the quote unquotethe groove in your own life.
And in your own way and your ownjourney.
(41:06):
And it sounds like that's whatwe're both trying to get to.
I think this coming year as wehave more guests on and as we
talk more about these issues,we're going to start getting
into the groove, you know, and,and hopefully that will help
everybody listening.
You know, that, that I, we'recertainly not doing this just to
hear ourselves talk.
(41:26):
We can talk on the phone and dothat, but we're certain, you
know, we wanna we want to dothis to kind of help people, uh,
you know, get themselves in thegroove, man.
Whatever that means to you.
If that means, uh, a healthjourney or if that means a
professional journey or if thatmeans, uh, a relationship
journey or all of that stuff.
Uh, and let me say it allrelates, you know, it all, it
(41:49):
all interconnects and uh,
Speaker 3 (41:52):
it doesn't, some of the, the guests that we'll have
on are going to be guests whoare going to inspire and, and
just their story will inspire.
Uh, but I think I've said itbefore.
I hope we have some guests onthat, that maybe aren't used to
telling their story.
Maybe they're not speakers andmaybe they're not singers or
artists.
And as they begin to tell theirstory, maybe they'll discover
(42:14):
something and then through thatother people can discover
something.
We can all pick up something asthe intro of our, of our
podcast, you know, we're alljust, our lives are just made up
of stories.
If it weren't for stories, Idon't know what would exist.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Well, and everybody's got a story whether they think
they do or not.
And a lot of, a lot of times,your, your wonderful story is,
is being hampered by just eitheryour inability or your
unwillingness to tell it, uh, oran inability to even see it.
You know, uh, talk to somebodyat the mall, talk to somebody,
you know, sitting next to sitnext to somebody to theater or
(42:52):
somewhere and just get themtalking about themselves and
you'll find everybody's lived amovie.
You know, everybody's lived somesort of dramatic thing.
And so you're right Deb, Ithink, I think we're going to
have a lot of guests that'll besurprising this year.
So I, for one, want to wisheverybody a Merry Christmas,
happy Hanukkah, whatever youcelebrate.
(43:14):
Um, happy holidays and uh,really wish for a great new year
for everyone.
I think it's going to befantastic.
I choose to look at itpositively.
We're going to see some greatand terrible things happen.
There's going to be a, there'sgoing to be triumph and there's
going to be tragedy.
Some of us are going to fall,some of us are going to fly,
some of us are going to do allof that stuff within the same
(43:35):
year.
But that doesn't mean you can'tbe moving forward and it can't
be a net positive.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Absolutely.
And I as well would like to wisheverybody happy.
Holidays and red.
I'd love to kind of go back toyour, uh, one silent night.
I encourage everybody to go out.
Tell first of all, and this,these are gonna, this is going
to be in the show notes.
Um, everybody but read realquickly.
Where can people go and get onesilent night.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
If you, if you subscribe to the groove podcast,
you can get the audio book forfree on our website.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Awesome.
And with that, how about weclose with one of probably the
most fun songs on the novella.
A deck.
The hall, the deck, the hallsmeant,
Speaker 1 (44:22):
yeah, yeah, the Dick balls madly.
I'd love that.
And let's definitely start itthough.
With my son's original offering,Santa Claus, you are my
favorite.
He read it when he four yearsold and I got to tell you real
quickly, we were going to seeSanta and we were in the studio
and he goes, dad, I got to takehim a present.
He said, everybody asked Santafor presence, but nobody takes
(44:42):
him a present.
Oh man.
And he said, I got an idea.
So he had me turn pro tools onand he made this song up in the
moment, boom.
And I recorded it and we tookthe CD to Santa and gave it to
him as a gift.
I had to put it at the beginningof deck, the halls because it's
just too cute.
So the beginning of this is GabeHam's, uh, original song Santa.
(45:08):
You are my favorite and then wego into it.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
We'll definitely start with that one.
So a happy holidays everybody.
Be sure to go to the groove,podcast.com for the show notes
and find out more informationand sign up for a to get one
silent night and you will notregret it.
Thanks guys.
Speaker 7 (45:26):
You bring me all those toys and go have a
favorite.
Oh, yay.
Speaker 6 (45:39):
Jack.
The house with[inaudible][inaudible] TIS the season to be
Speaker 5 (45:57):
[inaudible].
Speaker 6 (46:05):
We now have a walkie [inaudible].
You will take care[inaudible]
Speaker 8 (47:43):
you've been listening to the groove with Devin Pence
and Reggie ham.
You're listening to the groove with Devin Pence and
Reggie ham.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You have to take risks that will be
disappointments and failures anddisasters as a result of taking
these risks.
This task was acquainted to you,and if you do not find a way,
great moments are born, greatopportunity.
(00:27):
And that's what you have here inthe end.
That's all we really are.
I just stories.
Stories are what our lives aremade up of.
Stories, how we remember peopleand stories make us feel a
little less alone in the world.
What's up everybody?
This is Devin Pence.
(00:47):
This is Reggie ham and welcometo a, I guess what we could call
the, the holiday edition of thegroup podcast.
Yes.
The holiday edition of thegroove.
Yeah.
So, uh, as we were talking aboutjust a few minutes before we
start recording, uh, theholidays can always bring ups
all sorts of different emotions,um, across the board.
(01:11):
So many emotions from timeyou're a child, the time you're
an adult and the things youexperience.
Um, but I thought maybe what wecould talk about today is a
couple of things as to how, uh,first of all, maybe you know,
some of your experiences.
I'd love to hear about thatbecause obviously that sparked,
um, your novella that you wrote,which I'd love to talk about.
(01:32):
Um, and then maybe talk abouthow, uh, freelancers or
creatives or, um, just artistsin general who kind of, uh, work
nonstop cause that's how theymake their living, um, react to
the holidays, you know, and thestopping point.
Does that sound good
Speaker 1 (01:51):
dude?
Absolutely.
I think that's really important.
I think a lot of people would beresonating with that because the
holidays trigger us one way oranother, you know.
Um, I've always thought thehollow, there's a lot of, there
are a lot of stakes attached tothe two, particularly Christmas.
You know what I mean?
It's like if something badhappens to you on Christmas, you
(02:14):
remember that the rest of yourlife, you know, because
Christmas comes every year andit's all, there are all these
stakes attached to it.
Uh, if something Rae happens toyou on Christmas, uh, you know,
that, that colors the rest ofthe, you know, the rest of your
Christmases.
I've always felt like, like youdon't want, like, this is going
to sound horrible.
I've never, I like, I alwayswant to make sure if I could, I
(02:38):
just don't want to die aroundthe holidays, you know what I
mean?
Cause it'll really, it'll affectmy kids.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I don't want, youdon't want anybody to die around
the holidays.
You don't want any kind oftragedy to happen.
It's like you're just reallywalking gingerly.
Like, man, let this thing gogreat with this thing.
Go great.
You know?
Well, I know and, and you know,unfortunately, you know, as the
older we get, you know, thesethings kind of happen in my, my
(02:59):
grandmother
Speaker 3 (03:00):
passed away, uh, right around the holidays.
Um, uh, just a quick story thatmy wife and I, that particular
year in our great wisdom decidedto spend Christmas in Vegas.
What could go wrong?
You know, Hey, you know, so manySanta clauses, uh, and you know,
we were there and we were, youknow, you know, enjoying
ourselves and, and I got thecall from my dad and, uh, this
(03:22):
is just a few days afterChristmas.
Um, if I remember correctly.
And now, you know, of course,every year it's kinda like, you
know, and then the whole family,you know, grandma, this is the
time of year.
It's been five years sincegrandma passed away.
And you know, it's, it's, that'sa tough memory to do.
Um, but you're right, it, itruns the emotion, like, you
know, so
Speaker 1 (03:43):
yeah, it will never, you know, and you'll always have
that like the rest of your life.
You'll remember that yourgrandmother passed away around
the holidays.
I, my wife and I got married twodays after Christmas.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And are you tying them with death
Speaker 1 (04:00):
or you know, when horrible things happen to you
around the holiday?
No, my wife and I got marriedtwo days after Christmas, mainly
because, and we discussed thefact that we'll, we'll, you
know, it'll be Fest it, it'll bea festive season.
We'll already be celebrating.
I mean, this was our rationale,you know, we'll never forget it.
You know, we'll always rememberit.
I promise you, every year we,one of us forget, Oh my gosh,
(04:23):
our anniversary is coming up,you know, because we're so
exhausted from the holidays thatwe forget that literally two
days later we have ananniversary, you know, it's,
Speaker 3 (04:31):
well then we have with the kids and everything and
all the pumps, circumstance,you're like, Oh man.
And then I would imagine that,uh, the anniversary and it's
like, Hey, let's go to crystalor
Speaker 1 (04:42):
somehow now we, we always managed to figure it out,
but, but it's not just, it's notjust me that it's, and it's not
even really about forgetting.
It's about, it just sort ofsneaks up on you, you know,
cause you've got Christmas andyou got the day after Christmas
and you're, Oh my gosh, we're,this is our anniversary, you
know, so we didn't think itthrough.
Imagine that young young peoplenot thinking something through.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Well, it's always the right thing at the time when
you're at age.
Um, but it does, it, it hits,you know, we talk about having
kids and, and the excitementfrom the time, I don't know
about you guys, but it's like,you know, even when you're
having like a little baby, youjust want to have that big
Christmas thing.
And then as they get older, it'slike every Christmas becomes
(05:26):
this sort of event.
And then if you're involved inlike church or whatever, you
know, you remember the church,Christmas Cantata is different
things like that.
You're doing that and you're,you know, it's just a busy hubub
time of year.
Um, before a lot of people, uh,myself included, you know,
you're talking about triggers,man.
(05:46):
For me, I, you know, we alwaysmanaged to do the big Christmas,
right?
We had great Christmas for thekids.
You know, we always had thattime of, uh, you know, Claus and
so forth and so on.
But for me professionally, um,it would toss me into a
depression mode.
Like, you know, sometimes to adark place because I, the other
(06:09):
11, 364 days a the year orwhatever it is, I am just my eye
turning.
I'm churning, I'm churning andchurning and suddenly everything
stops.
Yeah.
You know, my clients are gonefor two weeks.
I don't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do withmyself.
And, uh, for me it would put mein a place of, you know, we used
(06:32):
to talk about this all the timeabout, Hey, you know, just don't
look down.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
And that's the time you do, you end up looking down
because you got nothing else todo.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
And then you start, you know, in at least my process
was as I started thinking about,man, how am I even doing this
anyway?
I have a family.
How, how,
Speaker 1 (06:52):
yeah.
You start deconstructing yourentire life.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah.
And like, and there's no way Ican go back to this.
Like, you know, there's just, Idon't know, it put me in a funk.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Well, I, I, dude, I totally get it.
And a lot of times people forgetthat the self employed, uh,
don't get guaranteed paychecks,you know?
And so, you know, it's all, I,I've always had this, this sort
of like, I dunno, pet peeve ofpeople who are getting
(07:22):
guaranteed checks throughout theyear and they'd get their little
Christmas bonus and they're getto, or maybe it's a big
Christmas bonus, but either way,it's at the end of the year,
they're still getting theirchecks, they're getting their
bonuses, whatever app, man,we're gonna, we're gonna, we're
gonna shut everything down onthe 15th.
And I'm like looking at the 15thgoing, man, I need to work four
more days, you know?
(07:43):
Oh my gosh, I can't, how manytimes mr ham have a great
holiday season?
That check's going to be to you.
I promise it's going to be toyou January 3rd at the latest.
It's like, well, uh, okay, I'llask my kids to open their
presence on January 4th then,you know, no, I'm the same way,
dude.
And it's not just financial, butit is an emotional thing where
everything grinds to halt andyou feel like you've been put
(08:05):
in, in kind of a vault.
You know what I mean?
And, and, and the other thingis, you know, that nothing,
nothing is really going to getstarted until February.
Oh, at Nana.
I mean, everybody's going tohave, you know, January.
Oh man, I'm playing catch up.
You know, it's, it's nothing.
Everything kinda, and I, I, Ilove the holidays.
(08:26):
For me, it's a good trigger.
I've, I've, my parents alwaysdid a great job of, you know,
doing Christmas right.
And I've always said, uh, youget enough bad days in your
life.
Christmas should not be one ofthem.
You know what I mean?
Especially when you're a kid.
I'd bend over backwards to makesure my kids are like, you know,
you know, ecstatic on Christmasmorning and it's wonderful.
(08:49):
It's for me, Deb, it's alwaysthe day after Chris, the G,
December 26th to me is, that'sthe most depressed day of the
year for me.
And then the, in the 27th iswhen I have to, I panic and
realize it's my anniversary.
And then we start getting readyfor new year's Eve.
But the, but, but December 26th,the day after Christmas after,
(09:09):
you know, after you've, you know, spent all the money and
you've, you know, bought all thefood and you've, you know, and
that, and now you have to kindof look at the consequences and
go, Oh man, okay.
And then you feel like you kindof have to grind it back up and
start, you know, start all overagain.
But, um, yeah, it's uh, the selfemployed, you know, I don't know
how many people are listeningwho are self employed, but that
(09:30):
is a, that is a tough row tohoe.
And especially in holidays, uh,you have to really be strategic
in how you manage your money andhow you, you know, when you
bring in certain amounts ofincome, et cetera, et cetera.
And you always need twice asmuch money in December than you
do the rest
Speaker 3 (09:48):
always.
And you never know.
You know, I've had years where Iworked up in, through, you know,
right up to Christmas, rightafter Christmas.
And it was like, Oh my, and thenof course it's like, Oh, you
know, I'm so busy, I can't evenenjoy my family.
And then I've had years whereit's been just like crickets and
there's, it's hard to plan forthat.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I, I, I will tell you , I, when I was kind of in my
workaholic days, um, and it wasthe year 1995, uh, and I write
about this in my book, angelsand idols, but I remember
distinctly, I worked onHalloween.
Uh, I was working onThanksgiving day.
(10:29):
I worked on Christmas Eve.
I went into the office onChristmas day.
Uh, I worked on new year's Eveand new year's day.
Um, I went, I went into theoffice on Christmas day, uh, and
the next year it was 96.
I went into the office onChristmas day and my publisher
(10:49):
was in there, Sean McSpadden onChristmas day.
And we kind of looked at eachother and went, what do we do?
You know, this is this, thismight be borderline obsession,
you know, uh, and it was not ahealthy thing.
So, so, so I do believe, uh, Ido believe in somehow being able
(11:12):
to compartmentalize, to takethat time off, be present with
your family.
And I've, I've made a, I made arule in my house, uh, for my,
for my family, extended familythat comes over a lot of times
they want to talk to me aboutwhat, what do you got going on?
What are you doing?
You know, and I've, I've kind ofmade this sort of unofficial,
(11:33):
uh, unspoken rule.
I've sort of whispered itthroughout.
I don't want to talk about mybusiness on Christmas, right?
You know, if you come over or ifyou become a real Christmas Eve
or Christmas day, I don't reallywant to talk about what I'm
doing and what I have going on.
This is about something else.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
It is in my family.
Um, oftentimes will come to meand they're like, now what do
you do again?
What, what, what is your jobagain?
You know, now when are you goingto get a job?
Are you?
Well, and I think, David, areyou going to finish college?
(12:11):
I've done all of college.
I'm going to do, and that's inanother podcast for me.
I mean the one thing you talkabout that day particular and,
and for me it's Christmas Evegetting everything prepped,
especially when your kids arekind of at that golden Santa
Claus.
I can remember distinctly, youknow, when my oldest started,
(12:31):
you know, he got old enough tosit on Santa's lap without
crying and back in the day, youknow, you weren't always like
buy it.
You know, all the Santa setupswere different.
Right.
And I can remember this oneparticular year, he always been
a big boy, sat on SANAS lap andI could see his lips moving a
lot.
Okay.
But I couldn't hear what he wassaying.
Right.
I didn't, you know,
Speaker 1 (12:51):
he's making stuff up in the moment right now.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And we're home later that night.
Of course it's Christmas Eve andwe're, we just settled, you
know, we're trying to settledown and think about, okay,
finally, you know, goteverything together and this is
probably like 11, 11, 30.
And Jordan, my oldest at thetime, he was three or four.
He comes up to me, says, I can'twait.
Daddy SANAS bringing me a bigtrain with models and trees and
(13:18):
everything.
And I just, I just can't, Igotta go to sleep.
I can't wait.
And he went upstairs and Ilooked at my wife and I'm like,
yeah, I just straight got myjacket on, got the keys, thank
God for 24 hour Walmarts, keeptrains and you know, you went
out, got him the train and guesswhat there the next morning, you
(13:39):
know, and that was, that's allpart of it.
You just love it.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Good.
But that's a good memory.
I, I, my, my son now is 13 andhe started, um, he started
asking Santa for things thatdon't, that don't exist.
He, he started, he startedmaking things up that he and I,
and I would say, buddy, youknow, I mean you gotta you know,
(14:04):
you gotta, you gotta give Santasomething.
He can, you know that, that heknows, he goes, no, he makes
everything at the workshop.
I mean, he knows how to make agrappling hook with a star laser
on it.
I mean, he could, the elves cando, you know, he, he bought, he
fully, fully bought in and thenit kind of started turning on
me.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Yeah.
Anyway, you've got like ducttape and cardboard out.
Like
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I though that the last year that that happened, I
actually did spend about a weekbuilding something that, I mean
it was the best I could kind offigure out.
And you know, he kind of lookedat it when he opened it, a lack
of, see the wheels turn.
Like this is kind of what I wasasking for, but I thought it
would look a little more JamesBond in this.
(14:51):
I didn't think it was going tobe made out of PVC.
Um, you know, but, uh, those,those are, I mean, listen, you
know, you, you make indeliblememories on Christmas.
I, I can't wait to talk to myson, you know, in a few years
when he's, when he's been ableto process some of his Christmas
memories because I don't knowabout you Deb.
(15:13):
I do know about you andeverybody's like this.
I had something that happened tome when I was nine that I kind
of stowed away for years.
I didn't think too much aboutit.
I, I, I thought about it kind ofevery Christmas Eve sort of in
passing.
Um, but about, I would say fiveor six years ago, it started
(15:36):
really haunting me, uh, becauseI started thinking about the
weight of it.
And that's what became thenovella that you spoke about
earlier.
One silent night.
Uh, when I started, when Ireally started processing this
memory and thinking about it,um, I started, uh, just kinda
rolling down the Hill, you knowwhat I mean?
It was like, Oh my gosh, a lotof stuff started unraveling.
(15:57):
But when I was nine years old,my family was called to the
mission, to the Nashville rescuemission.
Uh, my father's a minister aswas years as is.
They both still are.
But, um, and we were, you know,we were the musical family that
went and sang for people andthis and that.
(16:18):
And, um, so we went to theNashville rescue mission mission
on Christmas Eve.
I'll never forget it.
Um, one of the rare times thatthere were snow flurries on
Christmas Eve in Nashville.
And, uh, we, we went in and wesang for, you know, the general
population, uh, people, a lotof, you know, like older guys
(16:39):
and people who, you know, kindadown on, on, on their luck.
Uh, and then, you know, dadlooks at the leader of the
mission that kind of gave eachother knowing nods and they let
us back to this private room.
And, uh, and it had been, it hadbeen us and some church people,
but in this particular case, itwas just me, my dad, my mom and
(17:02):
my brother were sort of usheredinto this private room.
And in this room was a lady whohad just given birth that day
and she was homeless and it waslike she was there and there was
a newborn baby.
It was very, uh, it was a verystark thing for nine year old to
see.
I mean it was just, I, I, theminute I walked in, my first
(17:25):
thought was, I don't think Ishould be in here, you know.
Um, anytime I'm back to the VIProom at the, uh, at the shelter
and family in the house, thegreen room right there was,
there was going to be a bottledwater and a mixed nuts, uh, a
veggie tray.
But no, no, there was none ofthat.
(17:46):
But, uh, I, yeah, it was a, itwas a really, we ask you though,
what do you remember, like asidefrom him, cause you, you know,
you're nine years old, you'dbeen around babies and stuff
before.
What about that particularincident made you feel like,
Ooh, I shouldn't be in here?
Well, the baby was smaller thanmost babies that I had seen.
(18:07):
So I, I kind of put, puttogether, you know, that this
baby has just been born, youknow, this is what a newborn
baby looks like.
Um, and that was in itself alittle bit off putting and that
I'll never, the, the woman'srobe I'll never forget was it
was just, it was like, it wasgray and it was like dirty and
torn and her hair was kind ofstringy.
(18:28):
And I could, and then I may dothis sounds dramatic, but it's
true.
Like she moved a certain way andI saw, I saw, you know, needle
marks on her arm.
I saw, I saw the tracks.
I, I, and so I'd say, you know,my gosh, I'd seen enough cop
shows or whatever to know, Oh,wait a minute.
That's what they call it.
That's what, that's what thoseare, you know.
(18:48):
Um, and then I started puttingit together in my head.
This, this lady's a drug addict,you know, and, uh, this, she's
in the homeless shelter.
This is not, you know, thisisn't a positive thing.
This, she's, she's in a badsituation and it, and it just
felt like really adult, youknow, it felt like this is stuff
adults should be dealing with.
(19:09):
I don't know what I'm doing inhere.
Uh, lots of process at, at nine.
Yeah.
And I, you know, I've talked tomy brother about, he was seven,
he does not actually rememberit.
And so I was just on the cusp ofthat, you know, being able to,
to burn memories where, youknow, you remember him later and
whatever.
And uh, but we were there tobasically sing for her.
You know, we, we sang a coupleof songs for her and she, you
(19:34):
know, she sat there and justkinda balled like a baby and
held her, held her newborn.
And my mother brought her, youknow, like a hairbrush and
diapers and, you know, babypowder and just stuff that she
would need, just basic staples.
Um, and that turned into[inaudible] and I, and I've
remembered it, but it was, but Ijust, I remember it usually
(19:56):
every Christmas Eve, once, oncein, during a Christmas Eve,
I'll, I'll get a quiet momentand I'll remember it and I'll
start thinking, I'll startwondering about what happened to
that kid, you know, whathappened to that woman, what
happened to her child?
And, um, a few years ago I wrotea blog about it and, and it sent
me, really sent me down thisrabbit hole of imagination and,
(20:20):
and questions and all kinds ofstuff.
And that, that's what ended upbecoming the, the a novella one
silent night.
And also you brought up theChristmas Cantata.
That was also the, probably oneof the last years that I was
there, the little drummer boy inthe Christmas play.
And I don't, I don't, I'm surethis was the same day.
(20:40):
Same with you buddy, cause you,you played drums young as well
as, as, as I did seven, eight
Speaker 3 (20:47):
hard years of a little drummer boy.
People, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Exactly.
And it when you can play thedrums young, they always write
you into the Christmas play asthe little drummer boy, you
know, you, they can't not, youknow, and I think you said one
time, you know, a 49 year oldoverweight guy doesn't look
right as the little drummer.
Boy, you know, this is nowherein scripture by the way.
This story was just completelymade up out of whole cloth by
(21:17):
Catherine Kennecott Davis, asongwriter.
I love it though.
I love, I love a little drummer.
Boy.
It's probably my favoriteChristmas song.
It's, it's a wonderful imaginingof someone giving their all, you
know, and in it, I can't hardlyget through it without tearing
up because it just reminds me ofbeing that kid and I relate to
(21:39):
him on so many levels or relatedto him, you know, that any, you
know, whenever I sing the line,I'm a poor boy too.
I mean, dude, I mean I was, youknow, that's the way I was
raised in and I played my drumfor him.
I played my best for him.
I mean, that's,
Speaker 3 (21:56):
and that was your offering, right?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
That's it.
That's, that was my offering.
And that's honestly, man to thisday, it's, I played just, uh,
just last week in New Jersey and, uh, in, in as I was singing
it, I re I, I'm thinking tomyself, this is still all I
really have to give, you know,this is, this is the only thing
of that gap.
The gap got this little, youknow, this little ability that,
(22:18):
um, I keep trying to hone in andperfect and give, you know, give
all of it.
Uh, so that song just wrecks me.
So that song coupled with thatstory, because that, you know,
earlier that week I had playedthe little drummer boy in the
Christmas play and then sangsilent night in this lady's, uh,
(22:41):
well in this homeless shelterand all of that, all of those
memories running together reallyis what became the novella one
silent night.
And, and the CD that, you know,all of the songs from the CD are
embedded in the story,
Speaker 3 (22:56):
which I think is great.
And that's such a, you know, theconcept of that song.
Uh, cause that was the same way.
I can remember laying even doingit at church, but even listening
to it on the radio and you know,cause we would always take long
Christmas trips and you'd, youknow, it'd be really quiet.
That was before seatbelts, soyou could kind of lay down and
relax in the back seat and youjust kind of like, and that song
(23:19):
would come on.
And I'm just watching the starsgo by.
I mean, there's a lot ofmemories, but, but you know, it
all goes together with, youknow, the, the story of the
Wiseman and just in general,it's like, you know what, in
life in general like this, yougive what you can give and
sometimes it's a little,sometimes it's a lot.
Um, but dude, why don't we playa little bit of that, that, that
(23:41):
song I'd love to be great.
Yeah.
Right.
I'm just gonna roll it.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Um, they to me [inaudible] Oh, a newborn team
to see[inaudible] finest gifts.
We bring Burr up.
(24:10):
Um, uh, maybe for the[inaudible]rapid ramp up,
Speaker 3 (24:28):
so
Speaker 4 (24:28):
to honor him [inaudible] um, when we
Speaker 5 (24:41):
[inaudible]
Speaker 6 (24:46):
[inaudible]
Speaker 4 (24:47):
rum.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
Hi.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
I am a pool boy too.
I have no gift to bring.
That's good to[inaudible]
Speaker 3 (25:23):
man.
That's such true.
I mean, every time I hear it, Ican remember just real quickly a
story.
You know, when you were doingthis and you had sent me in an
early version of it just beforeI was going to take a road trip
that year we were gonna, we weredriving to one of the family
somewhere and you know, my wifewas, you know, she passes out
asleep before we get out of thedriveway.
(25:44):
So it's just kind of me and my,you know, my headphones and, and
it was a perfect time and Ilistened to the entire thing and
there was a couple of times Ihad to pull over.
Like I, I was just crying like ababy.
And then when that song came onand I'm just like, and then like
my wife kind of stirred aroundand looked at me and like, um,
tears are coming down my eyes.
(26:06):
She's like, you okay?
And like, I'm fine.
I'm just listening to Reggie'snew Christmas thing.
He just put out.
Oh, and she went back to sleep.
But dude, it's, it's veryinspiring.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Well, I appreciate it and it honestly kind of wraps up
for me the story of this benchass stain.
The, the meat, the maincharacter has a lot of bad
memories of Christmas.
And I think it, it goesperfectly with what the way you
started this, uh, this, thispodcast.
(26:38):
But this guy, and, and I, and Irecognize there are just so many
people out there who have a lotof bad triggers with Christmas.
They've got a lot of things thathave happened to them that they
would somehow love to reconcile.
And, uh, the movie saving Mr.
Banks is one of my favorites.
And there's a great scene wherea Walt Disney is trying to
(27:00):
convince the lady who wrote theMary Poppins books, um, to, to
let him make this movie.
And she's not very happy aboutthe frivolity of the movie and
they're dancing with penguinsand all of this kind of
whimsical stuff she's just nothappy with.
Because the real story is aboutthe Mary Poppins character.
(27:21):
They're the real story shedidn't even write about.
But that, that we see that thewe see that actually happened
was her father was, you know, uh, uh, an alcoholic and this
woman was basically coming totheir house to help get him
clean.
And that's who Mary Poppinsactually was in.
And she ultimately did not getthe job done.
And he actually, uh, it's, it's,I don't want to give the movie
(27:44):
away, but it's, it's a verytragic story that she turned
into these books and Walt Disneyis trying to turn it into this
really kind of, you know,whimsical almost, you know, just
kind of Pollyanna looking filmand she can't reconcile that.
And Walt Disney says somethingto her that I love.
(28:06):
He says, you know, artists getto rewrite the story and give it
a happy ending.
And I love that concept.
And I think maybe in some way,once silent night is sort of my
attempt at that in and in givingthis guy, this Ben Shasta and
character who has all of thesereally negative, very tragic
(28:31):
triggers with Christmas to givethis person a wonderful
Christmas redemption.
And I think that's the thing.
We're kind of always lookingfor, right?
And that's, and the good newsabout Christmas, the bad news is
the stakes are high and anythingbad can happen and you remember
it for the rest of your life.
But the good news aboutChristmas is you get a chance
(28:53):
every year to, to maybe redeemthat in some way, you know, to,
to, to, to, to add a greatmemory to the Christmas bank of
memories, um, that then you cannow look back on and go, man,
that five years ago, mygrandmother, dad, but man, last
year this happened and it wasgreat.
And now I can kind of balancethose things out.
(29:16):
That's what you hope.
That's what you hope can happenduring the holidays, right?
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Yeah.
You do.
And, and even though thosememories won't go away, um, you
know, there's something thatI've kind of discovered later in
life as well.
Um, you always kind of think,you know, Oh, you know, I'm just
gonna it's going to be a happyChristmas, or if I could just
get this for Christmas or if Ican do this or, I mean, it's all
about the human story and thehuman spirit.
And, uh, I've often wondered whyI'd be driving somewhere on
(29:43):
Christmas Eve going to a familymember's house or whatever and
you drive by a bar or something,you know, and it's like packed.
And as a kid always, I wasalways wondering like, you know,
what are they doing in there?
You know, like, why aren't theyhome with their families?
And, um, you know, and, and I'mnot saying like that, you know,
Speaker 1 (29:59):
now you know why they were in leaders.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Now my car is parked at a park in the back.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Now you walk in and like 15 people said,[inaudible]
Speaker 3 (30:11):
dev, Hey, everybody knows my name.
Merry Christmas.
Uh, but it is, you know, I thinkit's a time of year to reflect.
And something else we want totouch on just briefly and not,
this is kind of dawned on me acouple of weeks ago, but you
know, not only are we coming upon the end of, you know, the
year as always and how timeflies, you know, we're coming up
(30:32):
on the end of a decade dude,right?
We're getting ready to cross offanother 10.
And, uh, I, I kind of get kindof freaked out on my head
sometimes.
Cause you know, when you havekids and you've, you've kind of
raised your kids and you lookback on it, or like even the
high school experience when Iwas in high school, dude, I was
there for four years and itseemed like it was 20, you know,
(30:54):
you look back on raising yourkids and, and you'd look back
like, man, that went so fastand, and I think about these
past 10 years and I'm like, man,you know, it seemed to go by
fast, but, but as I begin tokind of process it, there's so
much you can do in 10 years.
I mean it's, it's a huge amountof time, but, uh, and, and I
(31:17):
don't, I don't, I don't knowabout you.
I mean, I think we've talkedabout this before.
I don't buy in a whole lot of,you know, like new year's
resolutions anymore or anythinglike that.
Um, just because I feel like,you know, I mean some people do
and it helps spark change andcongratulations.
And I hope, you know, I wish thebest for everybody, however you
(31:37):
process things.
But, uh, yeah, it just kind ofstruck me that we're, we're
crossing off another 10 man.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Well, there's a couple of things I'm upset
about.
The flying cars is definitelyone.
It mandate this, I think signsled us down there, you know?
Uh, and then also the, all thematching silver jumpsuits.
I just thought we'd all bewearing matching silver
jumpsuits.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
My perspective on the flying cars, there's a reason
that we don't have flying carsand I'm okay with it because
these people can't even drivecars that are, you know, planted
to the ground mean, can youimagine?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
We really haven't mastered the car yet.
You know what I mean?
Like the driving car, yet I'mstill holding out for the
jumpsuits though.
This the matching silverjumpsuit.
Let's just
Speaker 3 (32:21):
do it.
Let's just start grass roots.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah.
I, I, that's the, that's thething that always intrigued me
about the future was that we alldressed the same.
I just, I was a, I'd always lookat that and go, man, when, when
does that happen?
When do we all start buying ourclothes at the same place?
We get the same suit.
Everybody's the same, you knowwhat I mean?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Let me ask you a question and as we kind of start
wrapping this up, but you know,this is kind of a big question
for you.
Who as we're talking aboutcoming to the end of this
decade, I mean, what are youseeing for yourself?
What, what do you have ahead ofyou?
And I'm not asking you, youknow, about necessary projects
and that thing, but where do youfind yourself kind of at, in
(33:01):
life at this time?
At this stage?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Man, that's a really, that is a big question and it's
a really, uh, you're, you'reasking me at a really
interesting time in my life.
Um, Deb, you know, you know mesince we're 18 years old, um, I,
I was always a goal maker.
You know, I would write since Iwas probably 18 or 19, I, maybe
younger than that, I would getthree by five cards every year,
(33:27):
write lists of goals.
I want to achieve this, I wantto achieve that, uh, and end a
lot of years I did those things.
Um, every year when I was signedto this certain publisher, uh,
I'll talk about Sean McSpadden.
We, we would do, we would getthe, our pads out, you know,
first week of January, we'd sitdown with our legal pads, OK,
here's what we want to, we wantto go here.
(33:47):
We want to go there, we want todo this, we want to do that.
Um, and I think, I'm kindagetting to a place now in my
life where this is gonna soundkinda corny and maybe esoteric.
It's really about resonance.
It's really about all theprojects that I do.
I want them, I want to resonatewith people.
I want to honestly help peoplethrough that, through the
(34:08):
projects, uh, that I do.
Um, I, I, I don't necessarilyhave, you know, lists of goals.
I think what I do now is everyyear I kind of have one large,
uh, goal is maybe the wrongword, but just kind of, uh, uh,
project, uh, a projection.
(34:29):
Like, uh, last year I had this,I, I kind of distilled
everything down to one thing andthere was a certain project I
really wanted to get on wheelsand I just thought 2019 is the
year to do it.
And literally we may be, youknow, getting it, uh, it may be
happening like right here at thelast week of the year and it
(34:50):
took, it took all year to, to,to make it happen.
But through that process, um, wone of the things you learn is a
lot, a lot of times things takelonger than you think they're
going to take.
So I would say fewer goals, justmore important goals.
And, and really within thosethings, w I, I really shoot for
(35:12):
more for a concept of, ofresonating with people, with
helping people with, um, I don'tknow if that makes any sense,
but, uh, uh, you know, insteadof me going, I want to write 50
songs next year and I want to, Iwant to have three number one
songs, you know, when I was asongwriter, primarily a
songwriter or I want to do 50podcast next year, would they
have, and I want them to goviral and this and that.
(35:32):
I, I w I wanna write, you know,200 blogs and I want to at least
four of them to go, you know, togo viral.
I think now what I really wantto do is, it's not even really
about the quantity and now it'sa, it's not even necessarily
about the quality per se.
The quality obviously has to bethere, but it's about the
resonance.
(35:52):
It's about the impact, it'sabout them, the significance
making a difference with, witheverything that I do.
Making, uh, making an impact,helping somebody realize
something they've been trying torealize or discover something
they've been trying to discoveror you know, find hope in
something they've been needing.
Um, some might say that that ishelping you find God, you know,
(36:15):
may helping you point the pointyour self in the right
direction.
And that's really what my lifehas become about, uh, lately and
particularly this year.
It's, it's, I've been through abig process, uh, this year and
that's really what it comes downto.
And so I would, I would finishup by asking you the same
question.
What, what do you see for Devin?
Speaker 3 (36:36):
You know, I think for me it's probably less and less
as you said, you know, when youwere younger it was all about
what's next?
What am I going to do next?
How am I gonna, you know, buildmy career and, and, and I, I
don't have any plans of stoppingand learning.
Cause I think that's important.
I think as you get older it's,you know, I never want to stop
learning things cause you canget, you know, especially in, in
(36:58):
our business, man, you can getleft behind in a heartbeat.
Um, I think I'm in the sameboat.
You know, we've talked about[inaudible] and we both
collectively we've got separateprojects going on and some
projects together.
And then of course, uh, thepodcast, um, my goal I think for
the podcast is to, you know,bring as many people on as we
can and, and just let peopleshare stories because there's a
(37:20):
lot of, there's a lot of stuffthat happens where the real
stories are to it, you know,it's kinda like what you're made
of is what helps you get up anddo what you have to do.
I create content and I thinkabout that and how I can help,
you know, impact somebody'slife.
And I see it.
(37:41):
I don't know if it's maybebecause I'm getting older or you
know, we're both getting older,but I can see that, well, you're
getting older.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're the one that doesn't Marktiming.
I don't Mark Tom anymore, but Ithink people are more receptive
to, like you said, I meanneeding some hope.
(38:01):
And for me there's somethingthat I'm trying to wake up to
and I'm not awake to that yet,but I am trying to wake up to
this whole, and you know, itsounds a little cliche too,
cause there's a billion books onit, but trying to just live in
the moment, trying to, and thennow, because I've, I've now had
the chance in my life where I'vehad ups and downs, I've had
(38:24):
successes, I've had failures,um, and, and success and success
in your life when you're 20 or30 means one thing, a success in
your later in life, it couldmean another.
But one thing I'm finding is itdoesn't matter if you succeed or
if you fail, they both requireyou to start over.
(38:44):
And that's a truth.
And it's so, it's kind of aboutchange and, and man, you know,
like if, if, if, if I had$1billion in the bank tomorrow, my
life would be so stressed out.
Like, Oh, what are we going todo with this?
What are we going to do withthis money?
I mean there's so, you know whatI mean?
(39:05):
So it's kind of like trying tolearn to live in that moment and
, and, and take the time toenjoy what's happening as it's
happening.
Because being self employed andhave my own company and you
know, you get this man, it'slike one day, my wife and I were
talking about this last night,you know, you've got those years
(39:25):
or months where you're like,man, you're just, you're
grinding, grinding, grinding.
And it's like no one even hearsyou.
Like you're screaming andthere's nothing coming out.
No one looks at you, no onecalls you.
And then for whatever reason,all of a sudden the next month
everybody's calling you.
And I think the key there is to,you know, it's not luck, it's
(39:48):
about consistency.
And I think for me that's what,what I'm trying to push towards
is being more consistent,focusing more on things that
matter in the long run, comingfrom the marketing promo world,
everything has to be done.
Now we've got a promo that'sgoing to air on ABC tomorrow
night at seven 30 this thing hasto be done, dah, dah, dah, dah,
(40:09):
dah, dah.
And so my whole life, a lot ofmy life has been based on like
hard deadlines and stuff likethat.
Um, but I'm now trying to turnmy focus on longer form
projects, things that do takelonger.
And believe me, as you said,everything takes long way longer
than you think it's going to.
You always hear about these likea list like movie stars and
(40:30):
directors that were like, yeah,it took us 10 years to get that
film may.
And I'm thinking, why, you know,I bet I could do a film in eight
months.
I just need the chance.
Well guess what?
That is not the way it works mybrands.
But that's, that's kinda,
Speaker 1 (40:45):
well it's that, that really, I think both of our
answers point back to the, the,the reason for this podcast and
the name of it is the groove andthere is a, there is a lifelong
art to finding the quote unquotethe groove in your own life.
And in your own way and your ownjourney.
(41:06):
And it sounds like that's whatwe're both trying to get to.
I think this coming year as wehave more guests on and as we
talk more about these issues,we're going to start getting
into the groove, you know, and,and hopefully that will help
everybody listening.
You know, that, that I, we'recertainly not doing this just to
hear ourselves talk.
(41:26):
We can talk on the phone and dothat, but we're certain, you
know, we wanna we want to dothis to kind of help people, uh,
you know, get themselves in thegroove, man.
Whatever that means to you.
If that means, uh, a healthjourney or if that means a
professional journey or if thatmeans, uh, a relationship
journey or all of that stuff.
Uh, and let me say it allrelates, you know, it all, it
(41:49):
all interconnects and uh,
Speaker 3 (41:52):
it doesn't, some of the, the guests that we'll have
on are going to be guests whoare going to inspire and, and
just their story will inspire.
Uh, but I think I've said itbefore.
I hope we have some guests onthat, that maybe aren't used to
telling their story.
Maybe they're not speakers andmaybe they're not singers or
artists.
And as they begin to tell theirstory, maybe they'll discover
(42:14):
something and then through thatother people can discover
something.
We can all pick up something asthe intro of our, of our
podcast, you know, we're alljust, our lives are just made up
of stories.
If it weren't for stories, Idon't know what would exist.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Well, and everybody's got a story whether they think
they do or not.
And a lot of, a lot of times,your, your wonderful story is,
is being hampered by just eitheryour inability or your
unwillingness to tell it, uh, oran inability to even see it.
You know, uh, talk to somebodyat the mall, talk to somebody,
you know, sitting next to sitnext to somebody to theater or
(42:52):
somewhere and just get themtalking about themselves and
you'll find everybody's lived amovie.
You know, everybody's lived somesort of dramatic thing.
And so you're right Deb, Ithink, I think we're going to
have a lot of guests that'll besurprising this year.
So I, for one, want to wisheverybody a Merry Christmas,
happy Hanukkah, whatever youcelebrate.
(43:14):
Um, happy holidays and uh,really wish for a great new year
for everyone.
I think it's going to befantastic.
I choose to look at itpositively.
We're going to see some greatand terrible things happen.
There's going to be a, there'sgoing to be triumph and there's
going to be tragedy.
Some of us are going to fall,some of us are going to fly,
some of us are going to do allof that stuff within the same
(43:35):
year.
But that doesn't mean you can'tbe moving forward and it can't
be a net positive.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Absolutely.
And I as well would like to wisheverybody happy.
Holidays and red.
I'd love to kind of go back toyour, uh, one silent night.
I encourage everybody to go out.
Tell first of all, and this,these are gonna, this is going
to be in the show notes.
Um, everybody but read realquickly.
Where can people go and get onesilent night.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
If you, if you subscribe to the groove podcast,
you can get the audio book forfree on our website.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
Awesome.
And with that, how about weclose with one of probably the
most fun songs on the novella.
A deck.
The hall, the deck, the hallsmeant,
Speaker 1 (44:22):
yeah, yeah, the Dick balls madly.
I'd love that.
And let's definitely start itthough.
With my son's original offering,Santa Claus, you are my
favorite.
He read it when he four yearsold and I got to tell you real
quickly, we were going to seeSanta and we were in the studio
and he goes, dad, I got to takehim a present.
He said, everybody asked Santafor presence, but nobody takes
(44:42):
him a present.
Oh man.
And he said, I got an idea.
So he had me turn pro tools onand he made this song up in the
moment, boom.
And I recorded it and we tookthe CD to Santa and gave it to
him as a gift.
I had to put it at the beginningof deck, the halls because it's
just too cute.
So the beginning of this is GabeHam's, uh, original song Santa.
(45:08):
You are my favorite and then wego into it.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
We'll definitely start with that one.
So a happy holidays everybody.
Be sure to go to the groove,podcast.com for the show notes
and find out more informationand sign up for a to get one
silent night and you will notregret it.
Thanks guys.
Speaker 7 (45:26):
You bring me all those toys and go have a
favorite.
Oh, yay.
Speaker 6 (45:39):
Jack.
The house with[inaudible][inaudible] TIS the season to be
Speaker 5 (45:57):
[inaudible].
Speaker 6 (46:05):
We now have a walkie [inaudible].
You will take care[inaudible]
Speaker 8 (47:43):
you've been listening to the groove with Devin Pence
and Reggie ham.
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