October 9, 2025 • 46 mins
Ever notice how the harder you force a result, the further it seems to drift away? We share a full, uncut coaching session that began with a late-night experiment and turned into a simple, durable practice for anyone stuck between fear and faith. No hype—just honest stories, clear steps, and a framework you can use when your chest tightens and your mind starts racing.
We start by naming the two voices most of us hear: the one that chases money at any cost, and the one that trusts service and timing. From there, we dig into the real source of security—call it intuition, the peace of God within, or deeper awareness—and why overthinking sabotages good decisions. You’ll hear a relatable moment at the kitchen sink that flips a spiraling mood into gratitude and connection, plus a candid look at how getting fired became an unexpected gift that redirected a life. Along the way, we question comparison culture and the myth that buying more guarantees happiness, and we sit with what it actually means to make peace the priority.
The heart of the session is practical. We craft a personal statement of faith to interrupt anxiety on demand, walk through a calm-first protocol that restores clarity, and explore how living from essence changes how you sell, set boundaries, and build relationships. The surprising takeaway: peace isn’t a prize you get after success—it’s the fuel that creates sustainable success, better choices, and deeper joy. If you’ve been forcing outcomes, keeping up with the Joneses, or bending your values to make a quick win, this conversation offers a cleaner, kinder way forward.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs calm over chaos, and leave a quick review to help others find these tools. Then tell us: what’s your go-to line when fear shows up?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05):
So today you're gonna love this episode.
Let me just give you a littlebit of background and then we'll
jump right in.
I had something that I wasstruggling with, and I spent
that night using an AItechnology that I had built
around the coaching that I do.
(01:27):
And I used that AI to kind of goback and forth, and it gave me a
solution for myself.
The next day, I had a clientsession and I shared what I had
learned in that evening with theclient.
So I asked him after we weredone, because our session just
(01:50):
went beautifully.
And I asked him, would he mindif I shared this entire coaching
session that we had witheveryone on our podcast?
And he said, absolutely.
So get ready to listen to a fullcoaching session where we
discuss a process that, if youuse it, will help bring a lot
(02:17):
more peace, happiness, and joy,even freedom into your life.
So I hope you enjoy it.
So the first thing it saysacknowledge the inner conflict.
What does that mean?
You recognize two competingvoices within you.
One of fear demanding you chasemoney, and one of faith urging
(02:43):
you to simply help others.
I have it a lot too.
There's people that I can helpall the time, and I want to help
people.
And I always feel bad becauseI'm like, I can help them, and
(03:04):
should I not help them becausethey can't pay me?
Or do I trust that the moneywill come from other sources
like it did a few months ago aswe started doing all this
business, and then all of asudden a hundred plus thousand
dollars just rolled in.
You want to look back and try tounderstand how this stuff
(03:26):
actually works.
And that's the perfect exampleof how it works.
I do I give all the time to lotsof people in many different
ways, and I don't always getcompensated for it.
But I do get compensated for it.
And I think that's the key inthat first piece.
Acknowledge your inner conflict,recognize those two voices.
(03:50):
One's always like pacing themoney, and the other is having
faith that as long as I helpother people consistently, money
will flow to me in some way.
I just don't know exactly how,but it will.
What are your thoughts?
Let's hear your thoughts first,and then we'll go to the next
thing.
SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
It's the truth.
It's the truth, right?
And it's yeah, it we never knowexactly what it's going to look
like.
We don't know if it's gonna bein the form of a check.
Or if it's gonna be in the formof a relationship or a new
person that that comes in anddoes and they just drop in
business that you didn't knowwas coming, or you have no idea
(04:29):
what it's gonna be like.
But if you always I look at itlike this: a mentor of mine, a
gem of a human being, he said tome years and years ago, probably
20 years ago now, he said if youdo the right thing, you'll never
have to apologize to yourclients.
That's for sure.
(04:49):
That's a beautiful that it's sotrue.
If you never have to apologizeto your clients, no matter how
much or how little money youmake, if you never have to
apologize to your clients thatyou're doing the right thing, it
was definitely it's a hundredpercent true.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Yep, a hundred percent true.
So it's just findingopportunities consistently to
give to others, and they're allaround us, they're happening all
the time.
There's always opportunities tohelp.
And so for me, this is gonna bemy daily routine because I just
feel like it's so on point.
(05:27):
So that's step number one orpoint number one.
Any questions or thoughtsbesides that?
No, it's dead on.
Dead on.
Okay.
The next step.
So after I know those tworoutes, I can take the route of
chasing or I can take the helpthe route of helping.
The next step, identify the truesource.
(05:49):
You correctly identified thatyour ultimate security doesn't
come from a bank account, butfrom the infinite, unwavering
power within you from God, thepeace of God that sits within
us, right?
That that's where everythingcomes from, anyway.
The only way it doesn't comefrom that place is when we try
(06:11):
to outthink that place.
Do you know what I mean?
Like we have intuition and thenwe have our mind that talks us
out of intuition.
SPEAKER_00 (06:18):
It's when we think that we know better.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
And how many times does that happen?
It happens all the time when wethink we know better, but when
we actually know better, notoften.
That that's correct.
So the practice is when I'mthinking too much, I'm off base.
And I've got to pause and justchill out and don't try to come
to any kind of conclusion fromthat place.
(06:45):
Because if you try to come froma conclusion with all that
static going on in your head,what's gonna happen?
SPEAKER_00 (06:52):
There's a couple things that could happen.
You come to a conclusion that'sself-serving, and so you end up
doing uh maybe doing somethingthat's not the right thing, um,
to get a couple extra dollars orto to get something extra for
yourself.
That's really what comes to mymind is that you end up doing
something that it's more for youthan the person that you're
(07:12):
trying to help exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (07:15):
It's it's the ego, and the ego is always about me.
It's about me.
I've gotta do this, I've gottado that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:23):
How many times we've all talked to people that you
know that they're consistentlydown and out, right?
And if it doesn't matter what'sgoing on in their life, right?
They could have just won thelottery, but it's they're still
down and out.
And it's I I can't tell you howmany times I've heard, man, I
sure wish it would come back tome one day.
(07:47):
I asked my brother, he's theking of that, man.
Like he just the king.
And I said, Why do you do thethings that you do?
I said, Do you do it to helpother people because that is
what makes you feel good, or doyou do it because you want it to
come back to you?
That's a great point.
That's a great point.
(08:08):
Specifically, the reason why Iasked in what the follow-up
question was, is because if youwant it, if you're doing it
because you want it to come backto you, that's not the right
thing.
It's never going to come backbecause you're not doing it for
the right reason.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
100% true.
And again, when we take our mindout of that, when we take this
stuff, and you can feel it whenyou're in that place, you can
literally feel your mind'snon-stop movement.
SPEAKER_00 (08:36):
But when you chill out and relax, put the pit stick
a pivot in that.
So Tuesday night, okay, I was onthe road on Tuesday.
I didn't get home until later inthe afternoon, like 5:30 or at 6
o'clock or something like that.
And I come in and my house is amess, and there's a pile of
(08:56):
dishes in the sink and whatever.
And I go in and I'm doing noone's home, so I'm just like
ranting to myself about doingditches, and uh about how I'm
the only one around here, andthese kids, and blah blah blah.
And finally, I stopped myself asI'm like spiraling like tail
(09:18):
spit, tail spit down this holeof nothing good, right?
And uh, and I said, wait aminute.
You just had an awesome daytoday.
You walked in, the same dishesthat are in the sick that are in
the sick this afternoon were inthe sick this morning.
(10:14):
You're responsible for a portionof that.
It's not all their fault.
It's not they haven't been homejust the same as you haven't
been home.
So just do the dishes and stopcomplaining about them.
And so then so I'm putting thesedishes away.
And I said, And so I startgoing, you know what?
I sure am happy that I havethese dishes to eat off of.
SPEAKER_01 (10:33):
There you go.
I was just funny because I wasjust gonna ask you that
question.
You already went there.
Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
I said that it sure is nice to have to have these
dishes to be able to eat with,and there's food in the
refrigerator to be able to cook,to be able to put on these
dishes, to be able to eat anddrink.
And there are a lot of peoplethat don't have the nice, a nice
set of dishes like this, andthere are a lot of people that
don't have a food full or arefrigerator full of food to be
able to cook, to be able to puton these nice dishes.
(11:00):
So, what are you complainingabout?
That you've got to clean up themess that you helped to
contribute to make.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
And when you did that, what did you notice in how
you were feeling before versushow you're feeling after you
went through that process?
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
So it's not so much how I was feeling before, it's
what happened after.
Tell me, I want to hear that.
Yeah, yeah.
So my uh my middle daughtertypically gets home before my
oldest daughter, typically.
So, like my middle one gets uh,she gets done with what she's
doing during the day.
(11:37):
Like, she usually is usuallyhome by 6 30 or 7 o'clock.
And so if I would have continueddown the path the way that I was
going, I would have been allkinds of pissed off and probably
lit into her the second shewalked in the door.
No hellos, no how was your day?
It's kind of why is all thesecrap here be the TikTok stuff
(11:59):
and it would have just turnedinto an argument, right?
And so instead, changing my ownmindset turned into hey Brooke,
how are you?
How was your day?
Do you want me to make yousomething for dinner?
I'll dirty another dish.
What can I do?
And let's talk about your day.
SPEAKER_01 (12:20):
That's what we ended up doing.
It makes a huge difference, andit's just a simple shift.
And the beauty is you caughtyourself, you became aware of
what you were doing.
You paused, you reflected, youwent to gratitude, and
everything shifted.
You hear me talking, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Because it was that morning.
Like, I don't know if youremember our interaction from
earlier in the week, but it wasthat morning that I told you
that I kind of had a panic acouple of times over the last
several days, and uh it was thatmorning that we had that
conversation, and so it was likeI heard my inner Michael Fox
say, All right, what are whatare you really doing here?
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
It's funny that you say that.
So many people say that exactsame thing, they always hear me
talking in their head.
SPEAKER_00 (13:10):
Yeah, it's like you're the your voice is
becoming universe speaking tome.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
That's funny.
Yeah, so you get it, right?
And there's the perfect exampleof of what we're talking about.
Again, it's this is allpractice.
The only way we ever get good atthis is by practicing it.
Sometimes we're gonna screw up,sometimes we're not gonna do it.
Then, like you were cleaning thedishes, you became aware of what
you were doing, you shifted outof it, and that's a win.
(13:38):
Because then the rest of yourday changed and shifted because
you shifted, not because anyoneelse shifted, not because anyone
else did the dishes, because youshifted inside.
And that's a key.
Yes.
So that's excellent.
I think that's a great exampleof applying the work.
Excellent.
SPEAKER_00 (13:56):
No, it's it's funny because if you called me out and
asked me if I've been doing thework, and I admittedly, I'm not
gonna lie to you and tell youthat I have because you know
that it would be a lie.
I already knew the answer.
I already knew the answer, yeah.
Yeah, and so when you take thetime to do the work, it could be
something so simple as stoppingyourself when you're in the
midst of a and it's not simple,I shouldn't say that.
(14:18):
That's not the right way to putit, but it's it could be
stopping yourself when you're inthe middle of a downward spiral,
quote unquote, and saying, Oh,why are you doing this?
It's not fruitful for anyone.
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
What you just said, that small practice is to me
even better than sitting andstudying.
Studying is great.
You want to keep learning andkeep doing the repetition, but
the practice is everything.
That's how it becomes it becomesa habit by doing it.
So that yeah, that's awesome.
(14:51):
I love this.
This is good.
Practice, and you're right, justcatch yourself.
Hey, you know what?
I'm feeling really anxious.
I woke up feeling reallyanxious.
What am I thinking about rightnow?
And you're probably thinkingmoney, this, that, whatever, the
house, is uh the my ex.
(15:12):
There's a if I continue to thinkthat way, what's going to
continue to happen?
So you go to gratitude.
Gratitude's always the go-tobecause if you go to gratitude,
man, I'm so grateful that I havethe house.
I'm so grateful to have my job,I'm so grateful that that I have
money in my account.
It may not be where I want it tobe, but thank God I'm able to
(15:33):
pay the bill, all those things.
Thank God I have my health.
Thank God I have my family andthey have their health.
You see what I'm saying?
It's just practice.
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
It's and that's exactly what it is in practice
and remembering that you have toremember what it really feels
like to be down, right?
Because we've all had times inour life where it's it's a real
struggle, right?
Have we ever been you know I Idon't know if you have, but I've
(16:04):
there's been times where therewas nobody in the account, and
there's been times in therefrigerator, and there's been
times where and we were actuallyit's crazy.
I was with one of my bestfriends this weekend.
There's a big off-roadingfestival that that took place
last weekend.
And so I was riding around withfriends and hanging out, and we
(16:24):
were partying one night sittingby a fire and and we're looking
around.
And I don't know if you've everseen like side by sides, like
the player's razors and thecan-ams and all do you know
anything about that world?
Nah, nah.
They're like uh basically theoff-road vehicle, and I mean
incredibly expensive, likestupid money in some of them,
(16:46):
right?
Some people roll in there withlike hand built race and
whatever, and then some peoplewill roll it with fifty-sixty
thousand dollar machines.
And I I was looking around and Isaid, I said to my buddy, I
said, I used to think that I didpretty well until I started
coming to these events.
They said, What do you mean?
(17:06):
And I said, Yeah, you lookaround and there's a hundred
thousand dollar camper with atwenty thousand dollar trailer
and a fifty thousand dollarmachine in it.
And uh he said, But do thosepeople, are they any happier
than what we are right now?
Amen.
I said, probably not.
And he said, or when we werebecause I've known him for 20
(17:27):
some odd years, like you was myneighbor for 15 years.
He said, Do you remember whenyou and I first met?
Yeah, we were both like youngparents, like our kids are the
same age.
So the time we first really met,like you know, my our oldest
daughters were like somewherebetween one and three years old,
and and so the kids were and wewere struggling like young
(17:48):
people do.
And like you remember back thenwe dreamed about what we've got
now.
And I said, you know what,you're right.
It's a great point.
Then we uh we would have killedto have to have what we have
now.
That's right.
And and he said, It doesn'tmatter if you've got a he said,
(18:09):
sure, do I have a nice machine?
Yeah, do I have a do I have nicestuff?
Sure, you know, and I'm gratefulfor it.
He said, because back then wecouldn't even imagine what life
would look like right now.
And I'm going, holy crap, likewhen did you become a
philosopher need when he was agift, he was a gift for you,
really.
Think about that.
(18:30):
It really was.
100% was, and he had no idea.
SPEAKER_01 (18:35):
Did you tell him?
Because if you haven't, youmight want to, you might want to
tell him because I thinksometimes pointing that out to
someone, they don't even realizewhat they said actually had an
impact on you.
And when you tell them, it's thereally nice thing to do.
He knows.
He knows, yeah, he already is,yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And it's funny because what youjust said about what he said,
(18:59):
which is are they any happier?
goes to the next point that Iwant to make here.
So again, there's two roadsthere's the fear, chasing money,
and then faith in I'm gonna justhelp people and I know
everything will work out.
The next thing after that was weidentify where this is all
coming from.
It's coming from God that placewithin us the power, not this
(19:24):
trying to figure everything outplace.
Okay.
So, number three, make peace thepriority.
Isn't that what you just said?
That's essentially what yousaid.
Make peace the priority.
You discovered that the feelingof peace isn't the result of
getting paid, it's the cause ofit.
Your most important work,therefore, is to cultivate the
(19:47):
feeling of peace in everythingthat you do, especially when
helping others.
Now, why would that be soimportant to cultivate that
feeling now of what we wanteventually?
Right?
The money will give me thatfeeling of peace.
But like you said, there's a lotof people that have a lot of
(20:08):
money that aren't feeling peace.
So why would we want to feelthat right now?
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
That's the why do we want to feel peace right now is
because we got this consistentmany people having this
consistent struggle of keepingup with the Joneses, right?
Oh, Jason just got this, theJason, my buddy.
Jason just got this this brandnew whatever, so I need one, you
know, and we're all guilty ofit.
(20:34):
We're all guilty of it.
If you have friends that arethat do a certain thing and and
you don't have to ridemotorcycles or four-wheelers or
whatever, and you don't do it,or you don't have it all, you
should get yourself one.
You should do this, you shoulddo this.
And sometimes, and I've beenguilty of this a lot in my life.
I've put myself into a worsesituation by doing what I should
(20:54):
be, quote unquote.
I should go buy a should go.
I'm I'm picking on a motorcycle,whatever it should be.
You shouldn't go buy a new suit,you shouldn't go buy it.
Do I really need it?
Is it gonna bring me any type ofsatisfaction?
Or is that shiny new thing thatyou're buying?
Is it just gonna bring me moredebt?
(21:14):
And is it just gonna is thatdebt going to become a crashing
weight on top of you?
So that's what it turns into fora lot of people.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
That's exactly what it turns into.
They think those things aregonna make them happy, and then
it's more of a weight, and theyactually feel the opposite of
what they think that thing isgonna give them.
They feel not peaceful, theyfeel more anxious and worried,
and doubtful, and fearful.
And when you're feeling all ofthose feelings, what results,
what's gonna project in yourlife when you feel those
(21:46):
consistently?
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
So I think I know the answer to this.
I think I I the you're justgonna feel more weight and more
of a burden and more of a andthere's no real reason for it.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
That's exactly right.
Whatever we're feelingconsistently will be our
experience out in the world aswell.
So if I'm feeling anxious andworried, I'm gonna have a lot
more out there that's gonnahappen that's gonna make me feel
even more anxious and worried.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
Because I'm gonna see it from that lens of the
lens of what you're uh of beingfeeling angst and worried and
whatever else, right?
So yeah.
And then the other point of itis happiness, right?
If you don't have if you're nota happy person today with what
(22:38):
you have today, then how can yoube a happy person tomorrow?
That's exactly right.
Because guess what?
You can go out, and that's I'magain, I'll stick on whatever
motorcycles, cars, trucks,whatever it is.
Like you can go and buy theshiniest, newest, most
(23:00):
beautiful, whatever it is.
And and somebody else is alwaysgonna be able to get something
that's just one step ahead.
And then you're gonna go, andthat person's gonna pull up next
to you, and they're and you'regonna say, Man, I really want
that.
Even though you have this.
That's right.
There's a lot you have what youyesterday, what you wanted, what
(23:22):
was gonna make you perfectlyhappy, you got it, but then got
it yesterday, and then todayMike rolls up and he's got a
brand new Audi BMW, whatever.
Oh man, I really want that.
Look at that thing.
Oh my gosh, look at that.
That's right.
That's what it is.
I mean, think about it.
Like, you I don't know aboutyour life in this financial
(23:44):
services world before you jumpedinto coaching, but like when I
left Western Southern FinancialGroup, which was back uh in the
probably 2010 or 11.
I I say I left, I got fired.
SPEAKER_01 (23:57):
But uh I left either way, but it was before you to
continue.
I want to ask you this question.
You got fired, but why was thatthe biggest gift that could have
happened to you at that moment?
Because in the moment, youprobably didn't feel like it was
a gift at all.
You're probably like, oh shit,what am I gonna do now?
SPEAKER_00 (24:17):
Potentially, no, uh, you're that's exactly the
feeling or it was a huge gift.
There were I I will remember Iuntil the day that I die, I will
remember this.
There was one day that when Igot let go, like it was on a
like a Thursday, and I went on alittle better for the weekend,
and then one day comes and Ididn't have to go anywhere.
(24:39):
And so we'd hold the kids.
My youngest one was still indaycare at the time, which is my
middle daughter now, and uh, shewas still in daycare, and and so
we pulled her out of daycare,and it was like I was like the
stay-at-home dad, and uh and Iwould spend countless hours
filling out applications andwhatever, but I would always
(25:00):
make time to sit and I wouldmake lunch, and she and I would
have lunch together, you know.
Then for an hour or two afterlunch, we would play and do
whatever.
She was it's just 2011, so shewas like four.
And uh I remember her telling meone day, she says, Dad, I like
it when you're thinking, yeah.
(25:22):
She had no idea why I was home.
Like she didn't, she was fouryears old, but all she knew was
that dad was spending time withher and she liked it.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
And so what would what did that turn out to be?
It was a gift.
It was a blessing.
Yeah, it was a huge gift.
This is we're gonna have otherthings that happen in our life
consistently.
At times, well, I shouldn't sayconsistently, at times we're
gonna have other things thathappen that we're not gonna
(25:54):
think is to benefit us.
And it's remembering times likethis situation, which you
definitely didn't think was agift at the time, but now you're
seeing that it was an absolutegift and it worked out for the
best because it not only allowedyou to spend more time with your
family, but then it brought youto the next place where you're
working and you were happier,and it everything's always
(26:19):
working out for us.
It's just our mind sometimesthinks it knows better than that
piece of God inside of us that'sguiding us.
This is what we're talkingabout.
This is exactly what we'retalking about.
SPEAKER_00 (26:31):
And what's funny is that the the reason why I was
let go from Western SouthernFinancial Group was for
decidedly doing the wrong thingfor the wrong reason.
SPEAKER_01 (26:44):
Which is that first thing that we're talking about.
But why did you do that thing?
What what was in it for you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
What's funny is that like it was another case, right?
It was another app to come inthe door, but there's really
nothing in it for me.
Like, I wasn't gonna hit acommission breakpoint or
anything like that.
Like it was really it was Ithought I was doing the this
advisor a favor andcircumventing the rules at the
same time, and and in allactuality, I may have been doing
(27:14):
the advisor a favor, but Icertainly wasn't doing myself a
favor, and and certainlycircumventing rules is probably
not the right way to do favorsfor people in hindsight.
SPEAKER_01 (27:25):
Yeah, and you learned a lesson, you grew, you
learned, and again, soeverything's happening for us.
This is the point, and so again,we want to use this as we move
forward, and that next thinghappens, right?
Like when you were going throughthe process with your ex, it's
very easy to look at why this ishappening to me.
I can't believe this, blah,blah, blah.
(27:46):
But now you're a little bit,it's a little bit in the past.
What's a gift that you've gottenfrom having gone through that
situation?
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
I know that when I wake up every day, I know
exactly what I'm gonna get outof my cell.
SPEAKER_01 (28:04):
And and how long did you resist it and fight it for?
Right?
You're in a situation where ourmind is telling us, no, don't do
this, this is gonna happen.
We come up with all thesereasons why we shouldn't do it,
even though inside, deep down,that place, we know it's we need
to get out of this thing.
It's not for us.
(28:25):
How long did you fight that for?
SPEAKER_00 (28:28):
Oh man years.
Years, yeah, years, and and thenthere's so many things that
snowball off of that, right?
Because you become how do I wantto put this?
Because it's gonna sound likeI'm talking crap about my
ex-wife and I don't want to.
(28:49):
But you become like when you'remarried to someone or you're
around someone for a look for alot of time, you a lot of times
you become a lot like thatperson.
True.
So if you're with a personthat's negative all the time, or
lazy or nonchalant, or howeveryou want to put it, sometimes
(29:11):
that we're all forming.
SPEAKER_01 (29:14):
That makes sense.
And makes yeah, the people thatyou surround yourself with the
most, you become like.
So that can be a good thing, orit can be a not so good thing.
Because if someone's verynegative and you're around them
all the time, that's literallyprogramming, right?
They keep saying things over andover, it gets in your head and
you start doing kind of similarthings because if you're not
(29:35):
aware of what's going on, youjust become what you're around.
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
And you're right.
And if you're not aware of it,right, it you just morph into
that.
And it's not that like I hatedthe person that I was or
whatever.
That's not the case, but Ibecame a I just I became a
different, what I feel like adifferent person.
Like I was angry about things,and I was like, my kids always
(29:58):
told me that I had two emotionsand it was hungry and angry, and
and that's not the right way tolive, right?
That's not the right way to be.
And I through through the yearsof of now not being with my
ex-wife, I realized that yeah,like I was angry a lot of the
times, and I was frustrated andwhatever, and it was all it was
(30:20):
because of the situation that Iwas in.
Not that it wasn't reallyanyone's fault, it was just
that's the way that she is.
And instead of like instead ofcorrecting that situation, I
just rolled on with it and itmade me a miserable person.
SPEAKER_01 (30:38):
Yeah, and again, it was just you being unaware of
what was going on, so you justbecame like your environment.
But if you were aware of it, ifyou knew, you you probably would
have done different, but youaren't.
And so I don't, it's right, it'sno one's fault, but it's a great
piece to learn because nowmoving forward, you know what to
(31:00):
do.
SPEAKER_00 (31:01):
And it's the same, it's really it goes back to how
many times do you hear guys say,Oh, happy wife, happy life?
Really?
Because you can spend you youcan bend over backwards to make
your that other person happy.
But what are the like and I hateto put it this way, but what are
they doing for you?
Are they bending over backwardsto make sure that you feel the
same moment?
(31:21):
Yeah.
And that's what the like wherean unhealthy relationship comes
from is when you is when youthere's one person that's just
bending over backwards to getthe to make the other person
happy or walks around oneggshells because you don't want
to upset the other person or saysomething that does that make
sense?
SPEAKER_01 (31:40):
It makes total sense.
Happy life, happy life is.
Is a bunch of crap because ifyou're walking around and you're
feeling terrible all the time,but you're making your wife
happy, what's your life gonna belike?
It's not about we have to comefrom a place of love and peace
and happiness ourselves.
And then we if because how canwe give that to someone else and
(32:03):
make them happy if we're notfeeling that way?
It all starts here inside of us.
And then what happens is ifwe're with someone that we
realize isn't probably the rightperson, when we're healthy
because we love ourselves, wemay say, hey, this relationship
isn't for me, and realize it.
(32:24):
But that happy wife, happy lifeis absolutely 100% nonsense.
SPEAKER_00 (32:31):
No, it's you're right.
It and and so many people,myself included, we did I did
this whole thing to for years,and it was super detrimental to
me.
Like I I honestly feel like it,and again, this might be
thinking it too extreme, but Ifeel like it put years off of my
(32:54):
life.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
It did, right?
Because you stayed stuck in thatfor years and probably, but
again, I just want to point thisone thing out the fact that you
stuck in that relationship andyou were there, there were
lessons for you to learn.
And even after the fact, whenyou look back at it, right, had
you not gone through all thethings that you went through,
you wouldn't have learned thelessons necessarily that you
learned.
(33:16):
So, again, we we never want tobeat ourselves up for having why
did I do that?
I can't believe I didn't get outsooner.
You didn't, because you neededto go through whatever you went
through, and now you're out ofit, and now you can be grateful
for it.
You know what I mean?
Yep, that's exactly all right.
So let me go on to the netbecause there's two more points
I want to hit them before wejump off.
(33:38):
Okay.
So again, there's two paths (33:39):
the one of fear, chasing money, the
one of having faith and helpingothers.
The true source is that we havethis peace of God within us, and
the key is making peace apriority in our life.
Because if we feel peaceful andwe come from a peaceful place,
(34:02):
we're operating on a peacefulfrequency and we will experience
way more peace and happiness inour life.
Okay, that's where we're at.
Now, the next step create astatement of faith.
So, what does that mean?
When that fear, I'll just let meread it first.
When fear or doubt arises, youhave a powerful tool.
(34:24):
You'll immediately stop anddeclare.
And what I'm declaring, it askedme a question and I answered it
with this.
And this may be different foryou, and it may be different for
everyone else.
But the statement of faith thatI came up with, as soon as I
start feeling that fear or doubtarise, God, I have complete
(34:45):
faith and trust in you.
And then return my focus toserving others.
So as soon as that money thingcomes up for me, or I have doubt
or worry, God, I have completefaith in you.
So let me ask you this question.
For you, what would thatstatement be?
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
So on Sunday morning, I woke up and we were
partying this weekend a littlebit.
So I woke up at 5 30 in themorning, and I was sleeping in a
camper and the air conditionerwasn't working really well.
And so, like, you wake up andyou're like slimy, and I don't
know if you drink very often orwhatever.
Wake up and you're not, youknow, just not feeling 100% 5 30
(35:28):
in the morning.
You don't want to be flyingaround, three other people
sleeping, and and so I'm layingthere and like I had this
overwhelming feeling of likepanic, right?
And uh I'm laying there and I'mlike internally freaking out.
And I don't know why to thismoment, I don't know why.
But I laid there and I I letthese feelings of like panic and
(35:51):
fear take hold of me for aminute, and then I to get myself
out of it, I just kept saying,God, grant me the peace to see
the way out of this and theclarity to see what I see.
And I didn't to this like to thesecond, I don't know what it was
that I needed to see, but it wasbut the uh as soon as I started
(36:12):
reciting that to myself, thatthe feeling subsided and I fell
back to sleep and was able tosleep for another hour or so
before we had to get up and packup and go.
But so to this second, I don'tknow why I was feeling the way
that I was feeling.
I don't know what caused it.
I don't know what caused me towake up out of a dead sleep, but
(36:33):
it was something.
And the second that Irepositioned my focus to let's
find the positive and let's findthe happy, it went away.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
Amen.
It went away because you changedyour focus.
You can't you went back to God,hey God help me.
And when you're doing that,those other thoughts that are
causing the anxiety are somethey're not there because that's
not your focus.
And so the more that you say,God, please help me, again,
(37:09):
whatever the actual statementwas that you said, or God, I
have complete faith and trust inyou.
God, I have complete faith andtrust in you.
When I'm saying that, I'm givingit over to that power inside of
me, and I'm not thinking thoseother negative thoughts anymore
because I've replaced it with adifferent thought.
And when you can't think twothoughts at the same time.
(37:32):
So if I keep saying that, thoseother thoughts will subside.
And when they subside, thefeeling of anxiety will subside.
Does that make sense?
100%.
It's true.
I know it's true.
I know it's true.
We experience it now, right?
Because you practice it, you canfeel it, you feel that
difference, which is awesome.
(37:54):
So, again, just to finish thispiece off, what do you think the
statement for you, your go-tostatement, could be to remind
you when you're feeling thatfear, to let that go?
SPEAKER_00 (38:07):
I kept saying on Sunday, grant me the clarity to
see the to see the peace and tosee the path to where I need to
be.
And even saying it now gives mea feeling of if things are okay,
you know, life is not terrible.
Life is actually really good.
That's right.
It sure is.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
And that and giving it over to God and asking for
clarity without having to useour minds to go crazy trying to
figure it out with our ego.
I'll figure it out, I know more,I know better.
No, give it over to that sourceand keep saying that statement,
feel the peace.
And when you feel the peace,what's gonna start to happen?
SPEAKER_00 (38:52):
Well, that's a great question.
I'm not sure yet.
Because so, in in thatparticular situation or that
instance, I don't know what itwas that I was what it was that
was causing a disruption, but Ican tell you I don't feel it
anymore.
And so what's going to happen isthat you're going to feel the
clarity and the peace forwhatever it is that you're
(39:15):
that's causing that disruption.
SPEAKER_01 (39:17):
And when you're that's 100% correct, and when
you're feeling that peace, whatstarts happening as you move
forward and you start takingactions and you start doing
different things throughout yourday.
SPEAKER_00 (39:31):
Number one, you consistently stay on that path
towards that that peace, butthen the clarity could be I need
to have the clarity to make surethat I'm making the phone calls,
or I need to have the clarity tomake sure that I'm doing this or
doing that, to continue on thepath of where you want to be.
SPEAKER_01 (39:52):
Exactly.
And where do you have a betterlikelihood to have that thought
of I gotta make those, I'm goingto make those calls?
Do you have a better opportunityto have that when you're feeling
peaceful or when you'recompletely stressed out and
feeling anxious?
SPEAKER_00 (40:08):
Oh, when you're feeling peaceful.
SPEAKER_01 (40:10):
And that's why feeling making peace a priority
is so important.
If you have to do something, wetake the time to feel more
peace.
And the way that we can feelmore peace, obviously, is going
to gratitude, right?
It's like we've already said,let's just let me just keep
going to gratitude.
The more grateful I am forthings, the better I and more
(40:31):
peaceful I'll begin to feel.
All right.
So let me hit the last thinghere.
The last thing was live fromyour essence.
What does that mean?
This is what it said.
You realize this entire processisn't about getting more.
It's not about getting moremoney, it's not about getting
(40:51):
more things, more materialitems.
It's about becoming more.
It's about shedding the fear andfully stepping into your true
essence.
Yep.
So what do you what do you thinkabout this as a process for
yourself?
You feel the fear, you identify,you feel the fear, and then you
(41:15):
know also, wait, I have thisother path of helping others and
having faith and just trusting.
I know I have God within me.
I know I can make peace thepriority by feeling more
grateful.
I have this statement that I'llnow say, God, I have complete
faith and trust in you when Istart feeling that fear.
And then just living from thatplace.
(41:37):
If you can start to practicedoing that, it doesn't mean
you're going to be perfect atit.
Well, how will your life unfoldmoving forward?
SPEAKER_00 (41:47):
It's how do I want to phrase this?
When you're consistently workingon creating a peaceful life, you
have an for me it's a sense offulfillment that I've not had
before, right?
Because I'm doing the thingsthat make me happy and create
(42:08):
the feeling of that feeling ofpeace and gratitude within my
life, right?
And so it doesn't matter whatlike what whether it's a
personal possession or money orwhatever.
If you're happy where you're at,then you're gonna be happy where
you're going.
SPEAKER_01 (42:30):
Absolutely.
And not only that, you're gonnabe happy where you're going, but
when you're the odds of yougetting more from a peaceful
place are much higher than whenyou're feeling anxious and
trying to force something intohappening.
That peaceful feeling.
Go ahead.
What were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_00 (42:51):
You were you you got that feeling what you're you're
right in the middle.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (42:55):
No, that's okay.
That feeling is if you're tryingto get a goal, you're trying to
achieve something.
I want to hit that money goal, Iwant to get that new house, I
want to be in that newrelationship.
The reason for those things isthe feeling that you're gonna
get from it.
And most of the time, all thethings that we're going for,
(43:18):
what we really want from it isthe feeling of peace.
So if we can feel the peace nowand we're on that frequency of
our goal, which is if I havethat house, if I have that new
person in my life, I'm gonnafeel really peaceful.
But if we're feeling peacefulnow, what are the chances of us,
(43:38):
if we're on the road of peace,that we'll actually find that
thing that we're searching foror get that thing that we're
searching for?
It's a hundred percent of thetime.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (43:49):
I think of it like this like we've all had friends
or relatives, or maybe it's it'seven been us that you they they
find for anything, whatever itmight be.
Like think of a woman who or afamily that has is having
trouble getting pregnant, andnow there's all the fertility
aids that are out there, andpeople spend tens of thousands
(44:10):
of dollars doing fertilitytreatments and things like that.
How many times have you worriedabout people that spend
thousands and thousands ofdollars and none of that
fertility treatment works?
And then when they stop worryingabout it and they stop trying,
quote unquote trying, it justhappens.
SPEAKER_01 (44:28):
Man, that is a perfect example, right?
Force, I've got to.
I gotta make this happen.
I gotta make this happen.
Imagine you're in a relation,you just start a new
relationship with someone, andyou really want it to work, and
you're being needy and you'reforcing it.
SPEAKER_00 (44:46):
What they can possibly turn off the other
person and make the other personlike what in the world was this
person about?
SPEAKER_01 (44:51):
Yeah, exactly.
So operating from a place ofpeace will actually put us in a
place of being very confidentbecause we know that it doesn't
matter what happens, whetherthat relationship does work or
doesn't work, God has my back,and I'll it'll take me to the
next place I need to be.
Just every other event that hashappened in our life that we
(45:14):
thought, why is this happening?
It was actually a gift and itbrought us to that next place,
like we discussed.
Yep.
And when we can be peaceful andtrust that and keep reminding
ourselves that we God has ourback, life will unfold in a very
beautiful way, and it will beway more peaceful.
(45:35):
You are 100% correct.
So today you're gonna love this episode.
Let me just give you a littlebit of background and then we'll
jump right in.
I had something that I wasstruggling with, and I spent
that night using an AItechnology that I had built
around the coaching that I do.
(01:27):
And I used that AI to kind of goback and forth, and it gave me a
solution for myself.
The next day, I had a clientsession and I shared what I had
learned in that evening with theclient.
So I asked him after we weredone, because our session just
(01:50):
went beautifully.
And I asked him, would he mindif I shared this entire coaching
session that we had witheveryone on our podcast?
And he said, absolutely.
So get ready to listen to a fullcoaching session where we
discuss a process that, if youuse it, will help bring a lot
(02:17):
more peace, happiness, and joy,even freedom into your life.
So I hope you enjoy it.
So the first thing it saysacknowledge the inner conflict.
What does that mean?
You recognize two competingvoices within you.
One of fear demanding you chasemoney, and one of faith urging
(02:43):
you to simply help others.
I have it a lot too.
There's people that I can helpall the time, and I want to help
people.
And I always feel bad becauseI'm like, I can help them, and
(03:04):
should I not help them becausethey can't pay me?
Or do I trust that the moneywill come from other sources
like it did a few months ago aswe started doing all this
business, and then all of asudden a hundred plus thousand
dollars just rolled in.
You want to look back and try tounderstand how this stuff
(03:26):
actually works.
And that's the perfect exampleof how it works.
I do I give all the time to lotsof people in many different
ways, and I don't always getcompensated for it.
But I do get compensated for it.
And I think that's the key inthat first piece.
Acknowledge your inner conflict,recognize those two voices.
(03:50):
One's always like pacing themoney, and the other is having
faith that as long as I helpother people consistently, money
will flow to me in some way.
I just don't know exactly how,but it will.
What are your thoughts?
Let's hear your thoughts first,and then we'll go to the next
thing.
SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
It's the truth.
It's the truth, right?
And it's yeah, it we never knowexactly what it's going to look
like.
We don't know if it's gonna bein the form of a check.
Or if it's gonna be in the formof a relationship or a new
person that that comes in anddoes and they just drop in
business that you didn't knowwas coming, or you have no idea
(04:29):
what it's gonna be like.
But if you always I look at itlike this: a mentor of mine, a
gem of a human being, he said tome years and years ago, probably
20 years ago now, he said if youdo the right thing, you'll never
have to apologize to yourclients.
That's for sure.
(04:49):
That's a beautiful that it's sotrue.
If you never have to apologizeto your clients, no matter how
much or how little money youmake, if you never have to
apologize to your clients thatyou're doing the right thing, it
was definitely it's a hundredpercent true.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Yep, a hundred percent true.
So it's just findingopportunities consistently to
give to others, and they're allaround us, they're happening all
the time.
There's always opportunities tohelp.
And so for me, this is gonna bemy daily routine because I just
feel like it's so on point.
(05:27):
So that's step number one orpoint number one.
Any questions or thoughtsbesides that?
No, it's dead on.
Dead on.
Okay.
The next step.
So after I know those tworoutes, I can take the route of
chasing or I can take the helpthe route of helping.
The next step, identify the truesource.
(05:49):
You correctly identified thatyour ultimate security doesn't
come from a bank account, butfrom the infinite, unwavering
power within you from God, thepeace of God that sits within
us, right?
That that's where everythingcomes from, anyway.
The only way it doesn't comefrom that place is when we try
(06:11):
to outthink that place.
Do you know what I mean?
Like we have intuition and thenwe have our mind that talks us
out of intuition.
SPEAKER_00 (06:18):
It's when we think that we know better.
SPEAKER_01 (06:21):
And how many times does that happen?
It happens all the time when wethink we know better, but when
we actually know better, notoften.
That that's correct.
So the practice is when I'mthinking too much, I'm off base.
And I've got to pause and justchill out and don't try to come
to any kind of conclusion fromthat place.
(06:45):
Because if you try to come froma conclusion with all that
static going on in your head,what's gonna happen?
SPEAKER_00 (06:52):
There's a couple things that could happen.
You come to a conclusion that'sself-serving, and so you end up
doing uh maybe doing somethingthat's not the right thing, um,
to get a couple extra dollars orto to get something extra for
yourself.
That's really what comes to mymind is that you end up doing
something that it's more for youthan the person that you're
(07:12):
trying to help exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (07:15):
It's it's the ego, and the ego is always about me.
It's about me.
I've gotta do this, I've gottado that.
SPEAKER_00 (07:23):
How many times we've all talked to people that you
know that they're consistentlydown and out, right?
And if it doesn't matter what'sgoing on in their life, right?
They could have just won thelottery, but it's they're still
down and out.
And it's I I can't tell you howmany times I've heard, man, I
sure wish it would come back tome one day.
(07:47):
I asked my brother, he's theking of that, man.
Like he just the king.
And I said, Why do you do thethings that you do?
I said, Do you do it to helpother people because that is
what makes you feel good, or doyou do it because you want it to
come back to you?
That's a great point.
That's a great point.
(08:08):
Specifically, the reason why Iasked in what the follow-up
question was, is because if youwant it, if you're doing it
because you want it to come backto you, that's not the right
thing.
It's never going to come backbecause you're not doing it for
the right reason.
SPEAKER_01 (08:23):
100% true.
And again, when we take our mindout of that, when we take this
stuff, and you can feel it whenyou're in that place, you can
literally feel your mind'snon-stop movement.
SPEAKER_00 (08:36):
But when you chill out and relax, put the pit stick
a pivot in that.
So Tuesday night, okay, I was onthe road on Tuesday.
I didn't get home until later inthe afternoon, like 5:30 or at 6
o'clock or something like that.
And I come in and my house is amess, and there's a pile of
(08:56):
dishes in the sink and whatever.
And I go in and I'm doing noone's home, so I'm just like
ranting to myself about doingditches, and uh about how I'm
the only one around here, andthese kids, and blah blah blah.
And finally, I stopped myself asI'm like spiraling like tail
(09:18):
spit, tail spit down this holeof nothing good, right?
And uh, and I said, wait aminute.
You just had an awesome daytoday.
You walked in, the same dishesthat are in the sick that are in
the sick this afternoon were inthe sick this morning.
(10:14):
You're responsible for a portionof that.
It's not all their fault.
It's not they haven't been homejust the same as you haven't
been home.
So just do the dishes and stopcomplaining about them.
And so then so I'm putting thesedishes away.
And I said, And so I startgoing, you know what?
I sure am happy that I havethese dishes to eat off of.
SPEAKER_01 (10:33):
There you go.
I was just funny because I wasjust gonna ask you that
question.
You already went there.
Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
I said that it sure is nice to have to have these
dishes to be able to eat with,and there's food in the
refrigerator to be able to cook,to be able to put on these
dishes, to be able to eat anddrink.
And there are a lot of peoplethat don't have the nice, a nice
set of dishes like this, andthere are a lot of people that
don't have a food full or arefrigerator full of food to be
able to cook, to be able to puton these nice dishes.
(11:00):
So, what are you complainingabout?
That you've got to clean up themess that you helped to
contribute to make.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
And when you did that, what did you notice in how
you were feeling before versushow you're feeling after you
went through that process?
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
So it's not so much how I was feeling before, it's
what happened after.
Tell me, I want to hear that.
Yeah, yeah.
So my uh my middle daughtertypically gets home before my
oldest daughter, typically.
So, like my middle one gets uh,she gets done with what she's
doing during the day.
(11:37):
Like, she usually is usuallyhome by 6 30 or 7 o'clock.
And so if I would have continueddown the path the way that I was
going, I would have been allkinds of pissed off and probably
lit into her the second shewalked in the door.
No hellos, no how was your day?
It's kind of why is all thesecrap here be the TikTok stuff
(11:59):
and it would have just turnedinto an argument, right?
And so instead, changing my ownmindset turned into hey Brooke,
how are you?
How was your day?
Do you want me to make yousomething for dinner?
I'll dirty another dish.
What can I do?
And let's talk about your day.
SPEAKER_01 (12:20):
That's what we ended up doing.
It makes a huge difference, andit's just a simple shift.
And the beauty is you caughtyourself, you became aware of
what you were doing.
You paused, you reflected, youwent to gratitude, and
everything shifted.
You hear me talking, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Because it was that morning.
Like, I don't know if youremember our interaction from
earlier in the week, but it wasthat morning that I told you
that I kind of had a panic acouple of times over the last
several days, and uh it was thatmorning that we had that
conversation, and so it was likeI heard my inner Michael Fox
say, All right, what are whatare you really doing here?
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
It's funny that you say that.
So many people say that exactsame thing, they always hear me
talking in their head.
SPEAKER_00 (13:10):
Yeah, it's like you're the your voice is
becoming universe speaking tome.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
That's funny.
Yeah, so you get it, right?
And there's the perfect exampleof of what we're talking about.
Again, it's this is allpractice.
The only way we ever get good atthis is by practicing it.
Sometimes we're gonna screw up,sometimes we're not gonna do it.
Then, like you were cleaning thedishes, you became aware of what
you were doing, you shifted outof it, and that's a win.
(13:38):
Because then the rest of yourday changed and shifted because
you shifted, not because anyoneelse shifted, not because anyone
else did the dishes, because youshifted inside.
And that's a key.
Yes.
So that's excellent.
I think that's a great exampleof applying the work.
Excellent.
SPEAKER_00 (13:56):
No, it's it's funny because if you called me out and
asked me if I've been doing thework, and I admittedly, I'm not
gonna lie to you and tell youthat I have because you know
that it would be a lie.
I already knew the answer.
I already knew the answer, yeah.
Yeah, and so when you take thetime to do the work, it could be
something so simple as stoppingyourself when you're in the
midst of a and it's not simple,I shouldn't say that.
(14:18):
That's not the right way to putit, but it's it could be
stopping yourself when you're inthe middle of a downward spiral,
quote unquote, and saying, Oh,why are you doing this?
It's not fruitful for anyone.
SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
What you just said, that small practice is to me
even better than sitting andstudying.
Studying is great.
You want to keep learning andkeep doing the repetition, but
the practice is everything.
That's how it becomes it becomesa habit by doing it.
So that yeah, that's awesome.
(14:51):
I love this.
This is good.
Practice, and you're right, justcatch yourself.
Hey, you know what?
I'm feeling really anxious.
I woke up feeling reallyanxious.
What am I thinking about rightnow?
And you're probably thinkingmoney, this, that, whatever, the
house, is uh the my ex.
(15:12):
There's a if I continue to thinkthat way, what's going to
continue to happen?
So you go to gratitude.
Gratitude's always the go-tobecause if you go to gratitude,
man, I'm so grateful that I havethe house.
I'm so grateful to have my job,I'm so grateful that that I have
money in my account.
It may not be where I want it tobe, but thank God I'm able to
(15:33):
pay the bill, all those things.
Thank God I have my health.
Thank God I have my family andthey have their health.
You see what I'm saying?
It's just practice.
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
It's and that's exactly what it is in practice
and remembering that you have toremember what it really feels
like to be down, right?
Because we've all had times inour life where it's it's a real
struggle, right?
Have we ever been you know I Idon't know if you have, but I've
(16:04):
there's been times where therewas nobody in the account, and
there's been times in therefrigerator, and there's been
times where and we were actuallyit's crazy.
I was with one of my bestfriends this weekend.
There's a big off-roadingfestival that that took place
last weekend.
And so I was riding around withfriends and hanging out, and we
(16:24):
were partying one night sittingby a fire and and we're looking
around.
And I don't know if you've everseen like side by sides, like
the player's razors and thecan-ams and all do you know
anything about that world?
Nah, nah.
They're like uh basically theoff-road vehicle, and I mean
incredibly expensive, likestupid money in some of them,
(16:46):
right?
Some people roll in there withlike hand built race and
whatever, and then some peoplewill roll it with fifty-sixty
thousand dollar machines.
And I I was looking around and Isaid, I said to my buddy, I
said, I used to think that I didpretty well until I started
coming to these events.
They said, What do you mean?
(17:06):
And I said, Yeah, you lookaround and there's a hundred
thousand dollar camper with atwenty thousand dollar trailer
and a fifty thousand dollarmachine in it.
And uh he said, But do thosepeople, are they any happier
than what we are right now?
Amen.
I said, probably not.
And he said, or when we werebecause I've known him for 20
(17:27):
some odd years, like you was myneighbor for 15 years.
He said, Do you remember whenyou and I first met?
Yeah, we were both like youngparents, like our kids are the
same age.
So the time we first really met,like you know, my our oldest
daughters were like somewherebetween one and three years old,
and and so the kids were and wewere struggling like young
(17:48):
people do.
And like you remember back thenwe dreamed about what we've got
now.
And I said, you know what,you're right.
It's a great point.
Then we uh we would have killedto have to have what we have
now.
That's right.
And and he said, It doesn'tmatter if you've got a he said,
(18:09):
sure, do I have a nice machine?
Yeah, do I have a do I have nicestuff?
Sure, you know, and I'm gratefulfor it.
He said, because back then wecouldn't even imagine what life
would look like right now.
And I'm going, holy crap, likewhen did you become a
philosopher need when he was agift, he was a gift for you,
really.
Think about that.
(18:30):
It really was.
100% was, and he had no idea.
SPEAKER_01 (18:35):
Did you tell him?
Because if you haven't, youmight want to, you might want to
tell him because I thinksometimes pointing that out to
someone, they don't even realizewhat they said actually had an
impact on you.
And when you tell them, it's thereally nice thing to do.
He knows.
He knows, yeah, he already is,yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And it's funny because what youjust said about what he said,
(18:59):
which is are they any happier?
goes to the next point that Iwant to make here.
So again, there's two roadsthere's the fear, chasing money,
and then faith in I'm gonna justhelp people and I know
everything will work out.
The next thing after that was weidentify where this is all
coming from.
It's coming from God that placewithin us the power, not this
(19:24):
trying to figure everything outplace.
Okay.
So, number three, make peace thepriority.
Isn't that what you just said?
That's essentially what yousaid.
Make peace the priority.
You discovered that the feelingof peace isn't the result of
getting paid, it's the cause ofit.
Your most important work,therefore, is to cultivate the
(19:47):
feeling of peace in everythingthat you do, especially when
helping others.
Now, why would that be soimportant to cultivate that
feeling now of what we wanteventually?
Right?
The money will give me thatfeeling of peace.
But like you said, there's a lotof people that have a lot of
(20:08):
money that aren't feeling peace.
So why would we want to feelthat right now?
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
That's the why do we want to feel peace right now is
because we got this consistentmany people having this
consistent struggle of keepingup with the Joneses, right?
Oh, Jason just got this, theJason, my buddy.
Jason just got this this brandnew whatever, so I need one, you
know, and we're all guilty ofit.
(20:34):
We're all guilty of it.
If you have friends that arethat do a certain thing and and
you don't have to ridemotorcycles or four-wheelers or
whatever, and you don't do it,or you don't have it all, you
should get yourself one.
You should do this, you shoulddo this.
And sometimes, and I've beenguilty of this a lot in my life.
I've put myself into a worsesituation by doing what I should
(20:54):
be, quote unquote.
I should go buy a should go.
I'm I'm picking on a motorcycle,whatever it should be.
You shouldn't go buy a new suit,you shouldn't go buy it.
Do I really need it?
Is it gonna bring me any type ofsatisfaction?
Or is that shiny new thing thatyou're buying?
Is it just gonna bring me moredebt?
(21:14):
And is it just gonna is thatdebt going to become a crashing
weight on top of you?
So that's what it turns into fora lot of people.
SPEAKER_01 (21:25):
That's exactly what it turns into.
They think those things aregonna make them happy, and then
it's more of a weight, and theyactually feel the opposite of
what they think that thing isgonna give them.
They feel not peaceful, theyfeel more anxious and worried,
and doubtful, and fearful.
And when you're feeling all ofthose feelings, what results,
what's gonna project in yourlife when you feel those
(21:46):
consistently?
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
So I think I know the answer to this.
I think I I the you're justgonna feel more weight and more
of a burden and more of a andthere's no real reason for it.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
That's exactly right.
Whatever we're feelingconsistently will be our
experience out in the world aswell.
So if I'm feeling anxious andworried, I'm gonna have a lot
more out there that's gonnahappen that's gonna make me feel
even more anxious and worried.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:18):
Because I'm gonna see it from that lens of the
lens of what you're uh of beingfeeling angst and worried and
whatever else, right?
So yeah.
And then the other point of itis happiness, right?
If you don't have if you're nota happy person today with what
(22:38):
you have today, then how can yoube a happy person tomorrow?
That's exactly right.
Because guess what?
You can go out, and that's I'magain, I'll stick on whatever
motorcycles, cars, trucks,whatever it is.
Like you can go and buy theshiniest, newest, most
(23:00):
beautiful, whatever it is.
And and somebody else is alwaysgonna be able to get something
that's just one step ahead.
And then you're gonna go, andthat person's gonna pull up next
to you, and they're and you'regonna say, Man, I really want
that.
Even though you have this.
That's right.
There's a lot you have what youyesterday, what you wanted, what
(23:22):
was gonna make you perfectlyhappy, you got it, but then got
it yesterday, and then todayMike rolls up and he's got a
brand new Audi BMW, whatever.
Oh man, I really want that.
Look at that thing.
Oh my gosh, look at that.
That's right.
That's what it is.
I mean, think about it.
Like, you I don't know aboutyour life in this financial
(23:44):
services world before you jumpedinto coaching, but like when I
left Western Southern FinancialGroup, which was back uh in the
probably 2010 or 11.
I I say I left, I got fired.
SPEAKER_01 (23:57):
But uh I left either way, but it was before you to
continue.
I want to ask you this question.
You got fired, but why was thatthe biggest gift that could have
happened to you at that moment?
Because in the moment, youprobably didn't feel like it was
a gift at all.
You're probably like, oh shit,what am I gonna do now?
SPEAKER_00 (24:17):
Potentially, no, uh, you're that's exactly the
feeling or it was a huge gift.
There were I I will remember Iuntil the day that I die, I will
remember this.
There was one day that when Igot let go, like it was on a
like a Thursday, and I went on alittle better for the weekend,
and then one day comes and Ididn't have to go anywhere.
(24:39):
And so we'd hold the kids.
My youngest one was still indaycare at the time, which is my
middle daughter now, and uh, shewas still in daycare, and and so
we pulled her out of daycare,and it was like I was like the
stay-at-home dad, and uh and Iwould spend countless hours
filling out applications andwhatever, but I would always
(25:00):
make time to sit and I wouldmake lunch, and she and I would
have lunch together, you know.
Then for an hour or two afterlunch, we would play and do
whatever.
She was it's just 2011, so shewas like four.
And uh I remember her telling meone day, she says, Dad, I like
it when you're thinking, yeah.
(25:22):
She had no idea why I was home.
Like she didn't, she was fouryears old, but all she knew was
that dad was spending time withher and she liked it.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
And so what would what did that turn out to be?
It was a gift.
It was a blessing.
Yeah, it was a huge gift.
This is we're gonna have otherthings that happen in our life
consistently.
At times, well, I shouldn't sayconsistently, at times we're
gonna have other things thathappen that we're not gonna
(25:54):
think is to benefit us.
And it's remembering times likethis situation, which you
definitely didn't think was agift at the time, but now you're
seeing that it was an absolutegift and it worked out for the
best because it not only allowedyou to spend more time with your
family, but then it brought youto the next place where you're
working and you were happier,and it everything's always
(26:19):
working out for us.
It's just our mind sometimesthinks it knows better than that
piece of God inside of us that'sguiding us.
This is what we're talkingabout.
This is exactly what we'retalking about.
SPEAKER_00 (26:31):
And what's funny is that the the reason why I was
let go from Western SouthernFinancial Group was for
decidedly doing the wrong thingfor the wrong reason.
SPEAKER_01 (26:44):
Which is that first thing that we're talking about.
But why did you do that thing?
What what was in it for you?
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
What's funny is that like it was another case, right?
It was another app to come inthe door, but there's really
nothing in it for me.
Like, I wasn't gonna hit acommission breakpoint or
anything like that.
Like it was really it was Ithought I was doing the this
advisor a favor andcircumventing the rules at the
same time, and and in allactuality, I may have been doing
(27:14):
the advisor a favor, but Icertainly wasn't doing myself a
favor, and and certainlycircumventing rules is probably
not the right way to do favorsfor people in hindsight.
SPEAKER_01 (27:25):
Yeah, and you learned a lesson, you grew, you
learned, and again, soeverything's happening for us.
This is the point, and so again,we want to use this as we move
forward, and that next thinghappens, right?
Like when you were going throughthe process with your ex, it's
very easy to look at why this ishappening to me.
I can't believe this, blah,blah, blah.
(27:46):
But now you're a little bit,it's a little bit in the past.
What's a gift that you've gottenfrom having gone through that
situation?
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
I know that when I wake up every day, I know
exactly what I'm gonna get outof my cell.
SPEAKER_01 (28:04):
And and how long did you resist it and fight it for?
Right?
You're in a situation where ourmind is telling us, no, don't do
this, this is gonna happen.
We come up with all thesereasons why we shouldn't do it,
even though inside, deep down,that place, we know it's we need
to get out of this thing.
It's not for us.
(28:25):
How long did you fight that for?
SPEAKER_00 (28:28):
Oh man years.
Years, yeah, years, and and thenthere's so many things that
snowball off of that, right?
Because you become how do I wantto put this?
Because it's gonna sound likeI'm talking crap about my
ex-wife and I don't want to.
(28:49):
But you become like when you'remarried to someone or you're
around someone for a look for alot of time, you a lot of times
you become a lot like thatperson.
True.
So if you're with a personthat's negative all the time, or
lazy or nonchalant, or howeveryou want to put it, sometimes
(29:11):
that we're all forming.
SPEAKER_01 (29:14):
That makes sense.
And makes yeah, the people thatyou surround yourself with the
most, you become like.
So that can be a good thing, orit can be a not so good thing.
Because if someone's verynegative and you're around them
all the time, that's literallyprogramming, right?
They keep saying things over andover, it gets in your head and
you start doing kind of similarthings because if you're not
(29:35):
aware of what's going on, youjust become what you're around.
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
And you're right.
And if you're not aware of it,right, it you just morph into
that.
And it's not that like I hatedthe person that I was or
whatever.
That's not the case, but Ibecame a I just I became a
different, what I feel like adifferent person.
Like I was angry about things,and I was like, my kids always
(29:58):
told me that I had two emotionsand it was hungry and angry, and
and that's not the right way tolive, right?
That's not the right way to be.
And I through through the yearsof of now not being with my
ex-wife, I realized that yeah,like I was angry a lot of the
times, and I was frustrated andwhatever, and it was all it was
(30:20):
because of the situation that Iwas in.
Not that it wasn't reallyanyone's fault, it was just
that's the way that she is.
And instead of like instead ofcorrecting that situation, I
just rolled on with it and itmade me a miserable person.
SPEAKER_01 (30:38):
Yeah, and again, it was just you being unaware of
what was going on, so you justbecame like your environment.
But if you were aware of it, ifyou knew, you you probably would
have done different, but youaren't.
And so I don't, it's right, it'sno one's fault, but it's a great
piece to learn because nowmoving forward, you know what to
(31:00):
do.
SPEAKER_00 (31:01):
And it's the same, it's really it goes back to how
many times do you hear guys say,Oh, happy wife, happy life?
Really?
Because you can spend you youcan bend over backwards to make
your that other person happy.
But what are the like and I hateto put it this way, but what are
they doing for you?
Are they bending over backwardsto make sure that you feel the
same moment?
(31:21):
Yeah.
And that's what the like wherean unhealthy relationship comes
from is when you is when youthere's one person that's just
bending over backwards to getthe to make the other person
happy or walks around oneggshells because you don't want
to upset the other person or saysomething that does that make
sense?
SPEAKER_01 (31:40):
It makes total sense.
Happy life, happy life is.
Is a bunch of crap because ifyou're walking around and you're
feeling terrible all the time,but you're making your wife
happy, what's your life gonna belike?
It's not about we have to comefrom a place of love and peace
and happiness ourselves.
And then we if because how canwe give that to someone else and
(32:03):
make them happy if we're notfeeling that way?
It all starts here inside of us.
And then what happens is ifwe're with someone that we
realize isn't probably the rightperson, when we're healthy
because we love ourselves, wemay say, hey, this relationship
isn't for me, and realize it.
(32:24):
But that happy wife, happy lifeis absolutely 100% nonsense.
SPEAKER_00 (32:31):
No, it's you're right.
It and and so many people,myself included, we did I did
this whole thing to for years,and it was super detrimental to
me.
Like I I honestly feel like it,and again, this might be
thinking it too extreme, but Ifeel like it put years off of my
(32:54):
life.
SPEAKER_01 (32:55):
It did, right?
Because you stayed stuck in thatfor years and probably, but
again, I just want to point thisone thing out the fact that you
stuck in that relationship andyou were there, there were
lessons for you to learn.
And even after the fact, whenyou look back at it, right, had
you not gone through all thethings that you went through,
you wouldn't have learned thelessons necessarily that you
learned.
(33:16):
So, again, we we never want tobeat ourselves up for having why
did I do that?
I can't believe I didn't get outsooner.
You didn't, because you neededto go through whatever you went
through, and now you're out ofit, and now you can be grateful
for it.
You know what I mean?
Yep, that's exactly all right.
So let me go on to the netbecause there's two more points
I want to hit them before wejump off.
(33:38):
Okay.
So again, there's two paths (33:39):
the one of fear, chasing money, the
one of having faith and helpingothers.
The true source is that we havethis peace of God within us, and
the key is making peace apriority in our life.
Because if we feel peaceful andwe come from a peaceful place,
(34:02):
we're operating on a peacefulfrequency and we will experience
way more peace and happiness inour life.
Okay, that's where we're at.
Now, the next step create astatement of faith.
So, what does that mean?
When that fear, I'll just let meread it first.
When fear or doubt arises, youhave a powerful tool.
(34:24):
You'll immediately stop anddeclare.
And what I'm declaring, it askedme a question and I answered it
with this.
And this may be different foryou, and it may be different for
everyone else.
But the statement of faith thatI came up with, as soon as I
start feeling that fear or doubtarise, God, I have complete
(34:45):
faith and trust in you.
And then return my focus toserving others.
So as soon as that money thingcomes up for me, or I have doubt
or worry, God, I have completefaith in you.
So let me ask you this question.
For you, what would thatstatement be?
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
So on Sunday morning, I woke up and we were
partying this weekend a littlebit.
So I woke up at 5 30 in themorning, and I was sleeping in a
camper and the air conditionerwasn't working really well.
And so, like, you wake up andyou're like slimy, and I don't
know if you drink very often orwhatever.
Wake up and you're not, youknow, just not feeling 100% 5 30
(35:28):
in the morning.
You don't want to be flyingaround, three other people
sleeping, and and so I'm layingthere and like I had this
overwhelming feeling of likepanic, right?
And uh I'm laying there and I'mlike internally freaking out.
And I don't know why to thismoment, I don't know why.
But I laid there and I I letthese feelings of like panic and
(35:51):
fear take hold of me for aminute, and then I to get myself
out of it, I just kept saying,God, grant me the peace to see
the way out of this and theclarity to see what I see.
And I didn't to this like to thesecond, I don't know what it was
that I needed to see, but it wasbut the uh as soon as I started
(36:12):
reciting that to myself, thatthe feeling subsided and I fell
back to sleep and was able tosleep for another hour or so
before we had to get up and packup and go.
But so to this second, I don'tknow why I was feeling the way
that I was feeling.
I don't know what caused it.
I don't know what caused me towake up out of a dead sleep, but
(36:33):
it was something.
And the second that Irepositioned my focus to let's
find the positive and let's findthe happy, it went away.
SPEAKER_01 (36:46):
Amen.
It went away because you changedyour focus.
You can't you went back to God,hey God help me.
And when you're doing that,those other thoughts that are
causing the anxiety are somethey're not there because that's
not your focus.
And so the more that you say,God, please help me, again,
(37:09):
whatever the actual statementwas that you said, or God, I
have complete faith and trust inyou.
God, I have complete faith andtrust in you.
When I'm saying that, I'm givingit over to that power inside of
me, and I'm not thinking thoseother negative thoughts anymore
because I've replaced it with adifferent thought.
And when you can't think twothoughts at the same time.
(37:32):
So if I keep saying that, thoseother thoughts will subside.
And when they subside, thefeeling of anxiety will subside.
Does that make sense?
100%.
It's true.
I know it's true.
I know it's true.
We experience it now, right?
Because you practice it, you canfeel it, you feel that
difference, which is awesome.
(37:54):
So, again, just to finish thispiece off, what do you think the
statement for you, your go-tostatement, could be to remind
you when you're feeling thatfear, to let that go?
SPEAKER_00 (38:07):
I kept saying on Sunday, grant me the clarity to
see the to see the peace and tosee the path to where I need to
be.
And even saying it now gives mea feeling of if things are okay,
you know, life is not terrible.
Life is actually really good.
That's right.
It sure is.
SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
And that and giving it over to God and asking for
clarity without having to useour minds to go crazy trying to
figure it out with our ego.
I'll figure it out, I know more,I know better.
No, give it over to that sourceand keep saying that statement,
feel the peace.
And when you feel the peace,what's gonna start to happen?
SPEAKER_00 (38:52):
Well, that's a great question.
I'm not sure yet.
Because so, in in thatparticular situation or that
instance, I don't know what itwas that I was what it was that
was causing a disruption, but Ican tell you I don't feel it
anymore.
And so what's going to happen isthat you're going to feel the
clarity and the peace forwhatever it is that you're
(39:15):
that's causing that disruption.
SPEAKER_01 (39:17):
And when you're that's 100% correct, and when
you're feeling that peace, whatstarts happening as you move
forward and you start takingactions and you start doing
different things throughout yourday.
SPEAKER_00 (39:31):
Number one, you consistently stay on that path
towards that that peace, butthen the clarity could be I need
to have the clarity to make surethat I'm making the phone calls,
or I need to have the clarity tomake sure that I'm doing this or
doing that, to continue on thepath of where you want to be.
SPEAKER_01 (39:52):
Exactly.
And where do you have a betterlikelihood to have that thought
of I gotta make those, I'm goingto make those calls?
Do you have a better opportunityto have that when you're feeling
peaceful or when you'recompletely stressed out and
feeling anxious?
SPEAKER_00 (40:08):
Oh, when you're feeling peaceful.
SPEAKER_01 (40:10):
And that's why feeling making peace a priority
is so important.
If you have to do something, wetake the time to feel more
peace.
And the way that we can feelmore peace, obviously, is going
to gratitude, right?
It's like we've already said,let's just let me just keep
going to gratitude.
The more grateful I am forthings, the better I and more
(40:31):
peaceful I'll begin to feel.
All right.
So let me hit the last thinghere.
The last thing was live fromyour essence.
What does that mean?
This is what it said.
You realize this entire processisn't about getting more.
It's not about getting moremoney, it's not about getting
(40:51):
more things, more materialitems.
It's about becoming more.
It's about shedding the fear andfully stepping into your true
essence.
Yep.
So what do you what do you thinkabout this as a process for
yourself?
You feel the fear, you identify,you feel the fear, and then you
(41:15):
know also, wait, I have thisother path of helping others and
having faith and just trusting.
I know I have God within me.
I know I can make peace thepriority by feeling more
grateful.
I have this statement that I'llnow say, God, I have complete
faith and trust in you when Istart feeling that fear.
And then just living from thatplace.
(41:37):
If you can start to practicedoing that, it doesn't mean
you're going to be perfect atit.
Well, how will your life unfoldmoving forward?
SPEAKER_00 (41:47):
It's how do I want to phrase this?
When you're consistently workingon creating a peaceful life, you
have an for me it's a sense offulfillment that I've not had
before, right?
Because I'm doing the thingsthat make me happy and create
(42:08):
the feeling of that feeling ofpeace and gratitude within my
life, right?
And so it doesn't matter whatlike what whether it's a
personal possession or money orwhatever.
If you're happy where you're at,then you're gonna be happy where
you're going.
SPEAKER_01 (42:30):
Absolutely.
And not only that, you're gonnabe happy where you're going, but
when you're the odds of yougetting more from a peaceful
place are much higher than whenyou're feeling anxious and
trying to force something intohappening.
That peaceful feeling.
Go ahead.
What were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_00 (42:51):
You were you you got that feeling what you're you're
right in the middle.
Sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (42:55):
No, that's okay.
That feeling is if you're tryingto get a goal, you're trying to
achieve something.
I want to hit that money goal, Iwant to get that new house, I
want to be in that newrelationship.
The reason for those things isthe feeling that you're gonna
get from it.
And most of the time, all thethings that we're going for,
(43:18):
what we really want from it isthe feeling of peace.
So if we can feel the peace nowand we're on that frequency of
our goal, which is if I havethat house, if I have that new
person in my life, I'm gonnafeel really peaceful.
But if we're feeling peacefulnow, what are the chances of us,
(43:38):
if we're on the road of peace,that we'll actually find that
thing that we're searching foror get that thing that we're
searching for?
It's a hundred percent of thetime.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (43:49):
I think of it like this like we've all had friends
or relatives, or maybe it's it'seven been us that you they they
find for anything, whatever itmight be.
Like think of a woman who or afamily that has is having
trouble getting pregnant, andnow there's all the fertility
aids that are out there, andpeople spend tens of thousands
(44:10):
of dollars doing fertilitytreatments and things like that.
How many times have you worriedabout people that spend
thousands and thousands ofdollars and none of that
fertility treatment works?
And then when they stop worryingabout it and they stop trying,
quote unquote trying, it justhappens.
SPEAKER_01 (44:28):
Man, that is a perfect example, right?
Force, I've got to.
I gotta make this happen.
I gotta make this happen.
Imagine you're in a relation,you just start a new
relationship with someone, andyou really want it to work, and
you're being needy and you'reforcing it.
SPEAKER_00 (44:46):
What they can possibly turn off the other
person and make the other personlike what in the world was this
person about?
SPEAKER_01 (44:51):
Yeah, exactly.
So operating from a place ofpeace will actually put us in a
place of being very confidentbecause we know that it doesn't
matter what happens, whetherthat relationship does work or
doesn't work, God has my back,and I'll it'll take me to the
next place I need to be.
Just every other event that hashappened in our life that we
(45:14):
thought, why is this happening?
It was actually a gift and itbrought us to that next place,
like we discussed.
Yep.
And when we can be peaceful andtrust that and keep reminding
ourselves that we God has ourback, life will unfold in a very
beautiful way, and it will beway more peaceful.
(45:35):
You are 100% correct.
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