"I ranked my teachers based on who hurt me the least" - Ryan and Robert Delena

This episode features Robert and Ryan DeLena, father and son, who share their extraordinary journey from navigating the challenges of therapeutic schools and restraints to discovering Ryan’s passion for skiing, which transformed his life. Robert reflects on the difficult decisions parents face when raising children with special needs, offering heartfelt advice to parents trying to support their children’s happiness and self-discovery. Ryan shares his perspective as someone who lived through these experiences, providing practical tips for helping kids thrive in environments that work with their unique strengths.

Key topics covered:

- The Dark Side of Therapeutic Schools: Ryan and Robert discuss the emotional harm caused by restraints and punitive environments.

- Finding a “Yes” in a World of “No”: The pivotal moment when a ski guide believed in Ryan and how it sparked a lifelong journey.

- Parenting with Curiosity and Courage: Robert’s advice on redefining success, letting kids fail, and discovering their passions.

Episode Highlights

[00:08] Ryan describes how being restrained in school felt like punishment, not protection, and how it shaped his fight-or-flight response.

[12:15] Robert shares the pivotal moment he realized that labels led him to treat Ryan differently than he would his daughter.

[15:24] Ryan recalls the day he knocked over a snowman and was punished unnecessarily, showing the misuse of therapeutic restraints.

[23:42] The story of the ski guide who gave Ryan the opportunity to attempt an advanced trail and how it transformed his confidence.

[29:16] Ryan explains how skiing gave him something to live for and why it helped him navigate the challenges of school and life.

[38:50] Robert reflects on the importance of finding your child’s unique passion and why parents must be willing to let go of societal expectations.

[46:12] Ryan discusses how his outdoor adventures evolved into a career and how he finds joy in teaching others.

[52:34] Robert’s heartfelt advice for parents: “Don’t assign your values to your children. Let them fail, try everything, and support what they love.”