Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61 - The Haven Exchange

Episode Transcript
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Genesis (00:05):
Welcome to The Haven exchange podcast number 61.
Genesis here bringing you abrand new episode with the rest
of my co host here on the weeklypodcast. And this week we are
exploring the many wild andwacky laws across the United
States. So keep on listening tosee if your state made the cut.

(00:25):
But first we appreciate everyoneout there tuning in each and
every week and sharing theepisodes with your friends and
family. Helping us continue togrow we can see the snowball
getting bigger All right lawbreakers Let's be good because
it is illegal in all states tonot finish the episode. This is
Haven exchange number 61 absurdlaws of the United States.

Sage (01:30):
This is the Haven exchange you remember the remember the
real name of that song and theneverybody's like no, you can't
say that.

Genesis (01:44):
It's not let's get it started. No. in here.

Sage (01:49):
No. It's not

Genesis (01:52):
lady lumps.

Sage (01:54):
It was let's let's get retarded but people were like,
not you.

Genesis (01:58):
Oh, yeah, that was that was the lyrics to Yeah, it was.
Yeah, that was Rick's favoritesong.

Rick (02:06):
No. Okay.

Sage (02:08):
The main one leading the charge.

Rick (02:09):
Are we just gonna skip past Gen saying he wanted
Juneteenth removed from nationalholidays? Like Are we just gonna
move past

Genesis (02:16):
that? Never Never said and I never

Rick (02:20):
said something about they don't need an extra day on top
of the month or something

Genesis (02:24):
like that. I don't quite recall that.

Rick (02:30):
No, I'm pretty sure I heard you say I don't I don't
quite believe that.

Sage (02:35):
This February. We can't get no parade. No, nothing.

Rick (02:39):
You said something about chicken is all we need or
something weird like that. Thenyou gotta chill. Yes. Yeah,
chill on issue.

Genesis (02:49):
Let's see. I like chicken though. Like I could
live off Chicken.
Chicken. Chicken nowwelcome to The Haven exchange
podcast where I absolutely wasnot saying any of that stuff.
Goddamnit Rick. My name isGenesis, one of the CO hosts

(03:15):
here on your weekly fun timesand shenanigans. Who else is
here? Let me just go ahead andyou this goddamn fucking
ringtone.

Rick (03:33):
Please, you guys, everyone listening to this right now.
Please say my man, that thatringtone sounds like it's from a
1970s Porn. Okay. Like I feellike good.

Sage (03:47):
It always has the most perfect timing. It always

Rick (03:50):
does. It's always I feel like you might be doing that on
purpose. I was gonna get twophones just texting yourself.

Genesis (03:59):
It's fate. There's a much easier way to do it. Like a
whole setup. Communicate withtwo phones. Just because you
have like 500 phones. Doesn'tmean

Rick (04:11):
I don't have 500 phones. I have 500 phone numbers. Let's
let's

Genesis (04:16):
get that right. Okay.
Ah, okay. Yeah, that's muchbetter

Rick (04:20):
to speak in a phone but hold on. So you get a phone
numbers. Sage at work. Did youknow I just found out about
Elevate, like two days ago. Andlike the whole like, that's how
everyone communicates with eachother and there's a whole
separate phone number. Yep. Youknow, I've been going to all
these accounts and given thesegoddamn maniacs these accounts,

(04:42):
my real phone number.

Genesis (04:45):
Well, that's just stupid.

Rick (04:47):
No one told me about the elevator. No one mentioned
anything about it. Not one timethat they bring it up and I
happen to look at some messageson email about it. And even Ray
was like Are you ever going totext me back? Like, what you're
talking about? Man?

Genesis (05:05):
You didn't think it was strange that you were just
giving, like, clients your phonenumber?

Rick (05:10):
No.

Genesis (05:12):
Side Hustle, a one 800 Number anyway?

Rick (05:18):
Well, if in case like, you know, something's wrong with the
machine or something like

Sage (05:24):
that, put in a ticket like you did the first time.

Rick (05:27):
That's well, no, no, not them. But more of like if I have
the incomplete for a machine,and I want to keep them updated
with like a TAS and shit. Yeah,he wants to complete them.
complete, complete the customer.
Now, do what you gotta do, man.

Genesis (05:45):
Yeah, suppose get full service? No.

Sage (05:51):
So how's that anus injury again?

Rick (05:53):
Oh, man. Lot of blood?

Genesis (05:59):
How many times? How many times you get tested for?

Rick (06:05):
I don't think they need to do a What's that exam? The left
you have to do it? 35% Priceprostate? I don't need a
prostate exam anymore. When youhave to do that at 35. Yeah,
they recommend they recommendthey recommend as early as 35.
Yeah,

Sage (06:23):
they recommended all they want to do they come up with a
new way to do it. Don't get mewrong on us living in the past?
Wait, what

Genesis (06:36):
I would have would be more comfortable if I knew how
to do it to yourself, myself.

Sage (06:42):
Do you know where your prostate is located?

Genesis (06:45):
It's somewhere in there somewhere that you know, from
the mud.

Rick (06:51):
The you know, that's funny. The you know, like bumps
and lumps you're feeling forlike the or you just didn't do
you think they just wigglearound? Just like

Genesis (07:01):
they're just wiggling around.

Rick (07:05):
I'm terrified. Right?

Sage (07:07):
Yeah. No, the worst part about a prostate exam is you're
that's your most vulnerable as aman that you will be. And when
they're doing it. You feel theshame but you get a fucking
woody because it naturally givesyou a hurdle.

Rick (07:23):
Right? Right. So

Genesis (07:25):
you've done this. No, I know

Sage (07:27):
the human anatomy, sir.

Genesis (07:29):
Yeah, he's right. I'm not gonna get a hard on from
that.

Sage (07:32):
No, you definitely. It's kind of impossible. Not Yeah.

Rick (07:36):
Like, it's gonna happen.

Genesis (07:39):
Yeah. I mean, if there's anything that I can
control my life, it's probablygoing to be that like, no, no.
Well, just, there's gonna be alot of confusion afterwards,
then. We'll just

Rick (07:49):
do it yourself. Try. Go ahead and try it right now. And
see what happens.

Genesis (07:54):
I don't have the I just grew fingernails too, so I'm
extra scared.

Sage (07:59):
Oh, man, you can go online. I'm pretty sure there's
some type of toy you can get.

Rick (08:04):
Now we're gonna see him on the 10 o'clock news. Genesis. I
was gonna use your real name but

Genesis (08:15):
I mean, the doctor's office or like, you know, he
could be there.

Sage (08:19):
Doesn't it makes it even weirder. So he's just watching.

Rick (08:23):
Well, that's weird, dude.
If I not if but when I get thisexam, I'm gonna lose my mind if
he wiggles his finger even justa little bit. I'm gonna be going
to jail for murder for sure.

Genesis (08:40):
Fuckin couple. Oh, is it gonna look my ring in there?
And say some dumb joke. Youknow?

Rick (08:46):
You want to get dinner after?

Genesis (08:49):
You gotta buy me dinner first doc.

Sage (08:52):
My fingers that when you get your fingers out of my eyes.
I mean, you gotta fight. Yeah,yeah.

Rick (08:57):
Or don't. Or if he's like, Hey, I need you to look back at
me to make sure you're okay.
Like, dude, I'm not looking youin the eye. While you look back
at me Did you guys ever see thatimpractical? Jokers episode?
Yeah, MER got the prostate examin front of a live audience in

(09:17):
front of me got it twice.

Sage (09:25):
Oh, no. Oh,

Genesis (09:27):
yeah. You mean to tell me like we're just that advanced
in technology and we still justgo on the finger butts.

Sage (09:32):
Like I say I want that one. I will be there with you on
that. Oh, like that one. Weshould find something

Rick (09:38):
like can you give me like a no, check my ear? Or like,

Sage (09:44):
let me swallow pill or something. You can look at it on
the way the pill comes down tosome shit, you know? But then,
do you really want to be diginto your own poop? Right?

Genesis (09:55):
I mean,

Rick (09:57):
or what if they slip you something that puts you to sleep
and then you know If

Sage (10:00):
they don't put you to sleep like if they put me under
go and put me on

Rick (10:06):
Yeah, no, hell no man. I don't want my asshole.

Sage (10:12):
I'm not gonna lie. I rather be knocked out and be
oblivious. Didn't have to liftthe shit

Rick (10:17):
is gonna be traumatized

Genesis (10:22):
up on the internet of like them too and selfies with
your butthole ah,

Rick (10:27):
ah, I hope you too I hope you to never become doctors or
anything like that because

Genesis (10:34):
that's the one reason I won't become a doctor. Nasty
fucking furry man as is yougotta stick a finger, right?
Well,

Sage (10:43):
you can decide what part of the body you want to work on

Genesis (10:46):
to general practitioners. Man, that's what
the doing.

Sage (10:49):
You don't have to be a general practice you'd be
especially

Rick (10:52):
when you guys when you guys were in high school or even
before high school, I think whenyou had to take physicals Did
you? Did you give female doctorsor male

Sage (11:03):
male doctors

Genesis (11:04):
say I had females?

Rick (11:06):
Yeah, mine that did the cough. Were getting off it. Mine
was a female. And I'm like, Ifeel like at first I wanted to
be like, Do you know what?
What's down there? Like, how doyou know what? Like, I know you
went to medical school and allthat shit. But like, I feel like
a guy should be

Genesis (11:23):
trained. Right? Like,

Rick (11:25):
do you just look at the x all day? Like,

Sage (11:28):
cuz they're checking for a hernia? And I'm like, I'm a kid.
I got a hernia. Why are we doingthis?

Rick (11:32):
Yeah, I'm like a freshman in high school. I don't know
what the like, what? I barelyknow what's down. Like you, you
want to test it? Go for it.

Genesis (11:41):
I had one later when I had I had a work injury. And I
had to go and so they had to dolike the full physical. So I was
like 20 something and hadanother female doctor then. So
I'm like, that made it even morenervous.

Rick (11:56):
She's like handling it.

Sage (11:59):
I'm like, ridiculously curious, because I know you've
worked. So I'm trying to figureout what type of injury you
could have gotten.

Genesis (12:06):
I cut my arm open with a box cutter. How does

Sage (12:09):
that pertain to your balls?

Rick (12:19):
How do you cut your arm and they're checking.

Genesis (12:25):
I don't know that sort of I had to go to the the
workman's comp, like doctor orwhatever. And so they did like
the full workup while theystitched me up. Was this a game?
So notice that Kosis

Sage (12:39):
No. Navi any touch my boss,

Rick (12:43):
this man's photo is somewhere on the dark web right
now. trousers down fucking.
They're just

Sage (12:52):
doing that thing where he's like looking over his
shoulder. And he has like theone finger on his lip.

Genesis (12:59):
They paid for that shit to company dime. It was good
job.

Rick (13:07):
So you got to wait, your job paid for you to get a redrum
or

Sage (13:13):
so was that like a rule or alarm of the company that you
have to get that because you gothurt on Jet?

Genesis (13:20):
Well, yeah. Because you have to do a whole incident
report. And you know, they gotto make sure things were
protected. And so yeah, that's

Sage (13:28):
totally a law. That feels like a stupid law.

Genesis (13:31):
It feels like a great law to me. First of all,
however. It's interesting thatyou bring that up. Because

Sage (13:43):
you win these damn pauses.

Rick (13:46):
You make it? Oh,

Sage (13:49):
that was such a clean segue. It was such a clean
segue.

Genesis (13:53):
Well, yeah, I was trying to make it better than I
made it worse. Because if youhadn't read the title, if you
hadn't read any of thepromotions, then you're coming
into the episode completelyblind. Then you might not know
that we de are talking aboutstupid laws. Is that what we're
talking about? Yes. Isn't theframework here?

Sage (14:18):
Yeah, I would say stupid because there's a lot of people
out there like to think ofhimself was good, you know,
upstanding citizens notrealizing they've been breaking
the law left and right.

Genesis (14:29):
Well, do you follow the laws, the regular like, laws
that we're kind of aware of?
General basis

Sage (14:37):
where I got rid of a tattooed on my back where you
think

Genesis (14:41):
it's true. But that could be a front you know, like,
what, what was the law? Youcouldn't wear cowboy boots
unless you own two cows?

Rick (14:52):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can't wear

Sage (14:55):
my question. If you own one cow Can you own what can you
wear one cowboy boots. Oh,

Rick (15:02):
this is in the life.
California. Flight California.
Yeah, I believe that

Genesis (15:10):
we're down there.

Sage (15:11):
Are there even any cows in California?

Genesis (15:13):
I mean, yes, surprisingly, ya know, like
Northern California is hugefields of cars, there's even
beach cows of drove in like thecoast out here. And there's cows
just chillin on the beach.
They're fucking living theirbest life like I want to eat
that cow. Because, you know,they say like the happy cows
taste the best. Imagining afucking beach cow.

Sage (15:35):
Is that is that cow happy?
Because you know, it doesn'thave grass to eat on. So just
sitting there and saying no,

Genesis (15:41):
you should see that man in the same East Coast coasts or
like Lakeshore drive. It isvegetation along the along the
beach side. So they Yeah, theygot plenty of sunshine. Green
greens to eat. I hope they'renot drinking the saltwater
though that's probably not goodfor them.

Sage (16:02):
So would they be like, everywhere kind of like deers
are here.

Genesis (16:08):
And they're not just well, like on the coast. They're
just rolling. But I imagine theybelong to some farm out there.
There's a lot you see a lot oflike crops and shit.

Sage (16:17):
That'd be home before the street light comes on.

Genesis (16:21):
But I was just as a surprise when I moved out here
to see as much cattle like that.
I didn't expect that. So lifeI'm imagining that's gotta be
North Northern California.

Rick (16:32):
Oh, trust me. My list here is focus is solely going to be
focused on California. Right?
That's just mean. No, it's gottabe because they like California
has some of the strangest laws Ilove. He's Tony, if you're
listening to this.

Sage (16:50):
Okay, I one, Delaware.
Alcohol may not be served innightclubs if dancing is
occurring on the premises at thesame time. So why the fuck are
we even there?

Genesis (17:05):
If you're dancing, you can't serve alcohol.

Sage (17:08):
No, if if anybody is dancing at that nightclub, that
nightclub cannot serve alcohol.
Oh,

Genesis (17:15):
what do you think the origin of that would have been?
Like? Like the dancing gets justout of control and people are
drinking

Sage (17:22):
it. Delaware apparently was the real Footloose town. Oh,

Rick (17:26):
that that makes sense.

Genesis (17:28):
No, kind of sounds like some shit that would happen in
Delaware. No disrespect to ourDelaware listeners. Not even
having internet get the hips.
Well, we see a lot of likealcohol based laws in Illinois,
like, you know, you can't serveon or you can't sell alcohol on
like Sundays. Right? And a lotof the counties I guess Yeah,

(17:50):
that's probably probably I guessit's not just Illinois, but I
always find that pretty strange.

Sage (17:58):
But think it's funny that you mentioned drinking in
Illinois. Because apparentlythose under 21 In Illinois, can
legally drink. But they must beenrolled in culinary program to
do so.

Genesis (18:11):
Ah, that makes sense.
No,

Sage (18:14):
no. So get this. I can go toward 18. Can't drink. But if
I'm learning how to make asouffle, I got to be

Genesis (18:25):
well, yeah, because a lot of times you're cooking with
and you're pairing with likeliquors and you're cooking with
the liquors

Sage (18:31):
when you cook with liquor you by the time it's done
cooking, the liquor alcohol partof it is already burned through
it.

Genesis (18:36):
Do you really want our armed forces like our recruits
like getting fucked up, though?

Sage (18:41):
Somebody did a tour and somebody left at 18 and came
back at let's say, 19. That mandeserves drink.

Genesis (18:49):
Okay, yes. Once they're done, and they're still
underage. Yes, you've earned it.
You've totally earned that. Butnot beforehand.

Sage (18:57):
You can even smoke cigarettes in Illinois unless
you're 21 Now,

Genesis (19:01):
yeah, that's a recent law change. That's at least
within the past 10 years.

Rick (19:06):
I think like four or five relatively new for sure.

Genesis (19:10):
They're starting to ban I don't know out there but out
here in California, a lot of thecounties they're banning menthol
cigarettes. So like certaincounties, you can't buy like
Newports or any menthol flavoredtobacco products across the
board.

Sage (19:25):
Sounds a little racist. is racist.

Genesis (19:32):
I think your notion of being racist is the racist
statement.

Sage (19:37):
I mean, let's be real Newport so those are those are
those are our squares.

Genesis (19:42):
That's your squares.
Okay. I mean, I mean, if youwere to say cool, maybe

Sage (19:48):
not belong to like trailer parks.

Genesis (19:55):
That was a trading Trading Places Oh, my carpet

Sage (20:01):
cools in Virginia Slims.

Genesis (20:06):
Yeah, so out here they, depending on which county you're
in you can't they they're notallowed to sell menthol or like
any other flavor. So just likethe regular flavored tobacco
cigarettes, but

Sage (20:22):
I want to see somebody talk this one. And also I need
somebody to tell me whathappened to make this a law.
Okay, in Arizona, it is illegalto promote the use of or own
more than six dildos.

Genesis (20:43):
It's illegal to own more than six dildos

Sage (20:46):
to own or promote the use of more than 60.

Genesis (20:50):
I had to add that second part on there, of course,

Sage (20:52):
I would have what happened here, right.

Rick (20:57):
And then what happens like Like if I'm in Arizona, right,
and I take a picture of sevendildos, am I gonna get arrested?
Or is it like a fine like,what's

Genesis (21:05):
the penalty? Sounds like you're promoting more than
six? Yeah, I'm

Rick (21:09):
in I'm in Illinois, so I don't give a fuck. And always
doesn't have that shit.

Genesis (21:13):
But like when you're like arrested for having like a
pound of weed, and they're like,assuming that you're going to
traffic it like that's whatyou're doing with those seven
dildos. Yeah. Or the picture ofit.

Rick (21:25):
All you think maybe I'm gonna be going around selling
dildos. Maybe that's fine.

Sage (21:32):
Way more questions.

Genesis (21:34):
The DP special.

Sage (21:37):
Going round eight.

Rick (21:40):
A dog. Hey,

Genesis (21:42):
wait a minute is what's the what's the Latin for six?
Like, you know, he got like, Yougot double, triple. Quadruple is
four. What is five? Becauseisn't six like sextuplet?

Sage (22:00):
Is it? Yeah, actually.
Yeah. Five is a quintuple orsomething like that. Right.

Genesis (22:08):
Kind of interesting, right. A little bit a little
bit. I'm seeing a connection. Isuppose Rick's not gonna move to
Arizona and or No, you weretrying to move to Arizona,
right, sage?

Sage (22:19):
Yeah, but I mean, that's not really anything you have to
worry about. Because I don'thave a deal though. To worry
about six. Um

Genesis (22:27):
I don't know. We're gonna see him busted in here.

Sage (22:31):
That's what I go to jail for out of everything that I do.
They got it.

Genesis (22:37):
You know, it'd be good karma for you, like fairly out
of everything you've done. Andthen that's what gets you like,
that's the story that I want tohear about your life.

Rick (22:47):
Oh, for sure.

Genesis (22:48):
How much time do you think that was? Just a fine.

Sage (22:50):
You gotta be fine. It has to be like, if I click on it
doesn't give me the origin. Thatwould be great. I need to know.

Genesis (22:59):
Like, and they're hurting a whole like, Well, I
mean, do you think women havewhat do you think the average
amount of dildos a woman owns?

Rick (23:10):
What a hold on across the state? Are we thinking? dildos
or arms? Are we only talking tothose? Are we talking like sex
toys in general?

Genesis (23:20):
I'm just gonna say dildos for the, just because the
law specifically says those,

Sage (23:26):
I would say maybe four.

Rick (23:27):
I was gonna say like, two two? Yeah, I

Sage (23:32):
would say maybe four.

Genesis (23:33):
Four.

Rick (23:35):
I feel like there's too many dicks. Like what like, how
many different sizes do youthink sometimes it

Genesis (23:41):
is, I don't know.

Sage (23:44):
The white bit they might have they might have that one
little doodle that like it takeson the wall in the shower so
they can just do that shit withit.

Rick (23:51):
Oh my god. No, I

Sage (23:53):
mean, do those different occasions.

Rick (23:56):
That's a you might be on to something

Sage (24:01):
and then we're just talking about getting the
battery operated yet.

Genesis (24:06):
Is that still a dildo right below is like just a
phallic shape toy.

Sage (24:14):
So this is our conversation.

Genesis (24:18):
I can't find a statistic to that tells me

Sage (24:22):
how many I don't where would you even be able to find
that?

Genesis (24:25):
I mean there's a stat for everything if you just look
hard enoughwhat says nearly 80% of all of
female us sex toy owners over 18have a vibrator at home but it
doesn't tell me how many thoughso maybe

Rick (24:52):
I feel like that you know that foggy? I feel like that's a
that's a weird question rightbecause what person in their
right mind is going to answer aconsensus where it's like hey,
how many dildos do you have inyour drawer right now? Like how
would you who How do you getthat information?

Sage (25:10):
I guess maybe if somebody has like the like, lovers lanes
cart and purchases

Rick (25:16):
Yeah, I guess like oh, let me tally this is this check.
Mark five

Sage (25:21):
All right, cool. No matter how shitty of a job there has to
be to tally how many deal thosepeople buy. Isn't there like a
quality control inspector fordodos to like your job all day?
Let me just play with this.

Genesis (25:34):
Oh, here we go.
Oh, my the top answer this isjust sex toys in general was the
average was three at and then12% of women so they owned 11 to
15 sex toys. Got

Sage (25:56):
11 to 15

Genesis (26:00):
but that's sex toys in general, not just dildo. So that
can be broken up by a lot ofdifferent toys. Yeah, I mean, I
guess you could consider likehandcuffs as a sex toys. So like
I could see how that builds up.
That's still

Sage (26:11):
a lot though. Can you imagine how? Unless you're
really into like this kinky shitlike that. Can you imagine how
little that will make me feel asa man? If I walk into my girl's
room, and she opens the door andit's just full of fucking sex
toys.

Genesis (26:30):
I don't just mean she likes to get happy time.

Sage (26:34):
Yeah, and clearly, I'm not providing it enough to where she
needs this many options.

Rick (26:41):
Could be her happy time before you came into picture.
You know, and she just never gotaround to empty and out the
door.

Sage (26:49):
The motherfuckers got tags on

Rick (26:55):
Wait, wait, wait a minute I just bought today.

Sage (26:59):
Is this what you got from Amazon?

Genesis (27:03):
Wow, that drawers loud.

Rick (27:06):
Man. I'm trying to think where did I there was someone
that that happened to where theythey their vibrator just started
going off in their purse. Maybeit's like a Facebook video or
something I saw what is

Sage (27:21):
another question? Why are you holding on to in your purse?
Yeah. Oh, for that mid day. Idon't call it

Rick (27:30):
mid day. Being flicking session.

Genesis (27:36):
Beam flicking. Yeah. I mean, early 90s. No, no.

Rick (27:40):
You know, let me explain it to you because I feel like
you don't know what the brainis. Okay.

Genesis (27:46):
Where's it at?

Rick (27:49):
Have you ever found it or have it?

Sage (27:55):
No. As weird as that one was? I'm just not going to Rhode
Island.

Genesis (28:03):
Rhode Island.

Sage (28:05):
It is illegal for a person to bite off another person's
limbs. Why is this alone? Yeah,like

Genesis (28:14):
this? Not only Rhode Island

Sage (28:18):
clearly this had to happen at least twice. For them to be
like no, we need to put thisdown in law somewhere.

Rick (28:24):
Yeah, this happened somewhere for them to be like
huh you know? And it was put iton the books

Genesis (28:33):
that were handled electors from maybe it was a one
hour 105 or BookPeople leader Iknow everything about the you
know who doesn't know anythingabout them? Yep, I have no idea
what you're talking about. Youknow the song though, right? I
do not use that was the firsttime you heard that song just

(28:54):
now. i Yes. It was a one I wanthorrifying Purple People leader.

Sage (29:01):
Okay, no. Save yourself and give us a California fun
fact. Okay, because God damn it.

Rick (29:11):
What's the fro? You can't We can't just gloss over that in
the song. Is it? Purple, purple,purple.

Genesis (29:23):
Purple, purple Peter eater.

Rick (29:30):
I got one for you. In San Francisco, any person classified
as ugly may not legally Walkdown any street.

Genesis (29:43):
And no, yes. Yes, that's

Rick (29:47):
right. Who determines what so like, do you file a grievance
against someone? We're

Sage (29:54):
out here right now.

Genesis (29:55):
citizen's arrest.

Rick (29:58):
citizen's arrest like a man I You know, I went to go
pick her up and she didn't looklike a profile picture. You
know? That she she looks likeRosie O'Donnell today.

Sage (30:10):
You know, that's kind of like that thing that happened in
Japan.

Rick (30:13):
Yes, that is kind of Yeah, I heard him. In Japan,

Sage (30:17):
he this guy married this girl. Not knowing that she had
all this fucking plastic surgerydone. Got kids and the kids come
out ugly. And he's like, Whatthe fuck? Look like, don't look
like either of us. So shefinally tells him like, oh,
yeah, I have plastic surgery. Myman divorced and sue her. And

Genesis (30:39):
he won. Yeah.

Rick (30:41):
I mean, that's false advertisement, you know, let's
say. It's like you can sue forthat. Apparently, you could
definitely sue for anything.

Sage (30:55):
I was like, I mean, I get it. I would have been kind of
pissed, too.

Genesis (30:59):
I mean, he sounds like kind of a shit person though.
Just to call his baby's uglylike that.

Sage (31:04):
Is Japan is a different culture altogether. Yes. They do
a lot of weird things. Liketheir toilets for instance. No
way in hell.

Genesis (31:18):
That's a dream come true for Rick. Get him in
fucking Japanese toilet.

Rick (31:23):
Yes. Of the day that Kojima

Genesis (31:28):
is

Sage (31:30):
there's not a bad day.
y'all haven't clearly y'allhaven't seen Japanese toilets.
Yeah,

Genesis (31:34):
500 buttons, but one of the things is a bad day
Good afternoon, doesn't it likejust test your pool and

Sage (31:52):
those are some of the good those are some of the newer
models like because they'retrying to conform more to
Western but this is what theyused to look like. And a lot of
places still have them like this

Genesis (32:10):
so for those who are just only listening with their
ears on this episode, He'sshowing us a toilet which I
don't see anywhere actually

Sage (32:18):
so it's in a some of the Yeah Oh, I

Genesis (32:22):
see. Oh, that's just it looks like a hole in the floor.

Sage (32:25):
Yeah, that's all it is.
It's a fucking hole in the floorthat you that they squat over
take shits take the pisswhatever should be illegal.

Rick (32:35):
Right this is what they need to do working on making
shit like this illegal. Like ohmy god.

Sage (32:43):
I wanted to go to Tokyo then I found out the toilet.
Like um, because they didn't Inever got to me.

Genesis (32:53):
Let me has to get an emergency prostate exam.
hilarious.

Rick (32:59):
Hilarious.

Genesis (33:03):
Sir, you're supposed to evacuate your bowels before you
come to these. But your toilets

Sage (33:09):
so weird. Couldn't do it?
Couldn't do it.

Rick (33:15):
No, no, absolutely not. I will. I you know, the more I
look at this, because you knowHold on, hold on. Oh, here we
are here. Because don't they saythe gargoyle style is the best
way to shit. Like in that wayfor your posture and shit. Yeah,

Genesis (33:33):
that's what I got the squatty potty, right.

Rick (33:35):
So I mean, this just like shitting on the floor.

Genesis (33:39):
is pretty much just shitting on the floor. If you
detach the urinal from the thewall, and you put it into the
ground, that's what this toiletlooks like that he showed us.

Sage (33:50):
Don't worry. It'd be in the thumbnail. Yeah.

Rick (33:54):
Now, but hold on. I don't I mean, I feel like with the way
Japanese people like take theshoes off and everything you
know when they go indoors. Firstof all, I would not trust
something like this in America,because people are fucking gross
in America. Right? Yeah, I wouldabsolutely be okay with this and
in Japan. You know, so Iapologize, man.

Genesis (34:16):
They're humans. Humans are disgusting.

Rick (34:19):
Yeah, for sure.

Sage (34:20):
They don't take showers per se. They like sit down on
like this like wooden plank andwash their bodies while they sit
down and then, like hop into atub or some shit. Sounds cool.
It's weird, man. It's weird. AndI love the Japanese culture, but

(34:41):
apparently not as much as Ithought. Like, not for me, not
for me. What about you, Jen?
What do you what do you get forus?

Genesis (34:54):
Um, let's see. I don't have any. I'm just here for the
ride. Ah in New York the penaltyfor jumping off of a building is
death

Rick (35:10):
I don't know how to even process what you just said like

Sage (35:14):
I mean all right. It could be a small building in the still
gotta kill you list.

Genesis (35:21):
I mean yeah

Sage (35:25):
like what if it's like a play school building that that
just seems it seems verywasteful and somebody just wants
to kill some people.

Genesis (35:36):
Oh they appealed it in 2004 Actually my bad to downside
when they got rid of the deathpenalty Yeah. All right.

Rick (35:55):
I got one for you. In prone Dale, I think that's how
you pronounce it prone to proneto do to Fornia Yeah, of course
all California buddy. Tobathtubs cannot be installed in
the same house. Huh? Yeah, yes,

Sage (36:14):
you can like fire code or something.

Rick (36:17):
I mean, first of all, it's silly to be like, hey, hey, what
are you doing with that of thebathtub? No. I saw the crane
load one and already what wouldyou need the other one for now,

Genesis (36:35):
we have a lot of water restrictions out here. So I
could see that being maybefalling into that like water
waste. If you have two bathtubs,I

Rick (36:44):
could see that I could I could definitely go let's do

Sage (36:47):
Remagen reminds me every time of the day when Ray was out
there and I couldn't do it. Andsomebody pissed him off. So he
went back to his hotel and justlet the water run.

Genesis (37:00):
He took a picture of him in the hotel room just
turning on the faucet andletting it run. Yeah, so

Rick (37:07):
one absolute maniac.

Genesis (37:10):
There is also like a lot of the houses out here they
have fireplaces in them. Butyou're actually like you're only
allowed to use them on certaindays of the week. Like you know
how like you guys have like youcan only what is it like you
can't water your lawn in certainareas on certain days. Like the

(37:34):
fireplaces.

Sage (37:37):
Well, I guess you know, y'all have a whole fire season.

Genesis (37:41):
Yeah.

Sage (37:43):
Don't need to be promoting. I mean polluting that
much. Yeah.

Genesis (37:47):
Yeah, just like we need our water. So stop putting into
fucking bathtubs. What do youneed to for? How often is it
likely that two people need tohave a bath at the same time?
Like just wait? To

Sage (37:58):
be fair, I'm too big to fit in front of me after any
goddamn way. So I care lessabout that rule.

Genesis (38:05):
So you're gonna have anyone needed

Sage (38:10):
that I I would like to know, this has to there has to
be a newspaper clipping orsomething somewhere for this.
But apparently in Alabama, theirwrestling matches are
prohibited.

Genesis (38:28):
They were wrestling bears. They had wrestling each
other.

Sage (38:34):
Does this go with all of the above?

Genesis (38:36):
Or is it too burly Gaiman. Which what are we
talking about?

Sage (38:40):
I don't think this law was created that recently for for
that turned out to be goingaround. What? This not not when
when they say it what state thiswas? So it was it makes sense.
It makes

Genesis (38:55):
that's a good thing.
They tell us a lot and we'llguess the state.

Sage (38:59):
It is illegal to sell your children.

Rick (39:03):
Oh, that's 100% Oh, I guess in the other way. Now,
here's the thing, though. Is itstrange for other states to not
have that law? Yeah, I mean,

Sage (39:15):
I mean, yeah, but this state is 100% is if any

Genesis (39:20):
kid in any state

Rick (39:21):
right? No, but yeah, but the fact that other states don't
have this law doesn't mean it'snot illegal in those other
things.

Genesis (39:28):
You know, like mate so does right does that mean you
can sell your kid the otherstate then besides the state?

Rick (39:36):
Oh, no. One of you guys probably like Georgia. I was
gonna say Alabama.

Sage (39:46):
Dancing around it Florida.
That's screams Florida,

Rick (39:52):
Florida.

Genesis (39:54):
Is that because they're like, Cuba?

Sage (39:57):
Because it's whoa,

Rick (39:58):
whoa. Why? Go on The Cube isn't this Geez?

Genesis (40:03):
Well, like, you know, immigrants coming in and then
they want their kids have betterlives. So they're like,

Rick (40:07):
Oh, Jesus, man, you are on a roll today. You just don't
like all kinds of minorities.

Genesis (40:15):
I'm just finding the logic.

Rick (40:18):
Cool, man. You don't like people's darker?

Genesis (40:25):
I love all people.

Sage (40:29):
Everything about that screen Florida Do

Genesis (40:32):
you sell your children to one?

Sage (40:35):
Googliness one of them knock at your door.

Genesis (40:38):
Yeah, this is a

Rick (40:39):
podcast right here officer.

Genesis (40:44):
selling or buying of children laws are serious
federal, oh, it's a federal Icannot

Rick (40:49):
just Google that. You are on a list somewhere right now.
You are definitely just beenadded to some database. So this
motherfucker is looking at howto sell children.

Genesis (41:03):
I don't want to buy him though.

Rick (41:05):
I mean, I feel like selling them. No, I feel like
Solomon was just

Genesis (41:09):
a bit you know? It's just it's equally as bad.

Rick (41:13):
I think so. Yeah. Because I think if you first of all, if
you're willing to sell a child,what else are you willing to
sell? I feel like you guys darkshit

Genesis (41:23):
around how much how much you think that kid goes
for?

Rick (41:25):
I'm not gonna answer that.
I'm not gonna answer.

Sage (41:30):
The fact that we can actually look it up, you know,
with child trafficking andeverything. But we're not going
to do that.

Rick (41:34):
Yes. Because I would eventually like to get back on a
plane at some point. You know, Iwould like to maybe own a
firearm or something. You know?

Genesis (41:46):
How much? How much would you say it costs to have a
kid? Because,

Sage (41:50):
you know, I know I can tell you how much it costs to
sell a kid. A kid a kid goes forabout 47,000 And I know this,
because you remember a coupleyears back that website got
called, oh, traffickingchildren.

Rick (42:05):
Silk Road.

Sage (42:06):
No, it was a it was like a furniture website and it was
like a dresser will sell forlike 40,000. And people are like
what? And then they looked inthe FBI gotta hold it like this
is a person

Genesis (42:19):
that say the average adoption is 47 or 40,000. To
70,000. Yeah. You really, youjust had to know that. That's
the one factor you want to beknown for. of knowing that sage
70 makes a real book of Wisdom.

Rick (42:40):
He has a ton of knowledge.
And we are not associated in anyway.

Genesis (42:47):
Not in any way.

Sage (42:49):
Saying you need makes money real fast. Little Timmy
been getting F and talking back.

Genesis (42:58):
But is it worth more to have the money or zombie caution
plan with the baby though?

Rick (43:03):
Or is it worth getting raped in prison? What do you
mean? Like if you sell a child?
You're going to be someone'splaything in federal prison.
Somebody's gonna give you costthem prostate exams you know?
Wait Wainer don't do it. Youknow?

Sage (43:30):
You're not wrong. I mean,

Genesis (43:34):
a killer J can check my prostate while you're back
there.

Sage (43:38):
Chilly. J

Rick (43:39):
Oh my goodness. Is that Is that his

Genesis (43:41):
name? That's his name.
It's my fictional prison.
Rapist.

Rick (43:46):
That's a prison boyfriend or

Genesis (43:49):
my prison wife.

Sage (43:53):
Which which state is this?
That doesn't like people to havefun. Okay, it is illegal in
bars. Yeah, probably is one ofthose middle states

Rick (44:06):
one of those somewhere but it

Sage (44:09):
is illegal for bars to run a two for one deal on alcoholic
drinks in this state.

Genesis (44:14):
A two for one deal.

Rick (44:16):
Oh, you don't? I feel like that sounds like some Vegas
shit. But you say this to saythat doesn't like to have fun.
Right? Yeah. Okay, so when we doit's probably

Genesis (44:29):
Pennsylvania.

Rick (44:30):
I'm gonna go with North Dakota.

Sage (44:34):
No, no. It's a little south of the equator. South of
the equator.

Rick (44:42):
Well, there are no states I mean

Genesis (44:47):
knowledge just went out the window

Sage (44:50):
to the Mississippi

Genesis (44:55):
and those are which they

Sage (44:59):
gave me shit. On

Genesis (45:01):
Main equator lime

Sage (45:06):
Mason Dixon,

Genesis (45:07):
is that one set where the Hatfields are

Sage (45:13):
Hatfields and McCoys.

Rick (45:17):
what a what a guy

Sage (45:19):
is Georgia sir Georgia?

Genesis (45:21):
Oh, Tim and I sit down when earlier to y'all ever
reminds me though, let me seewhat do you guys think about the
law that, like bartenders arethe ones that get prosecuted for
over serving and that in thatcustomer goes and like, has a
fatal accident or something? Andyou agree with that?

Sage (45:42):
I was a bartender, I was a licensed bartender. Yeah. 100%
agree with it.

Genesis (45:46):
Why do you what why do you agree with that? Because I
mean,

Sage (45:49):
you should know when to cut somebody off for their
safety and for everybody else'ssafety around you shouldn't over
over serve somebody.

Rick (45:57):
Right? Because if they're just because you're trying to
make a buck, right, right,you're you're pretty much
putting profits ahead of thatperson safety along with
everyone that they willinevitably come in contact with,
while they

Genesis (46:10):
take away responsibility of the person
itself. It does,

Rick (46:13):
but the person, like when the person's inebriated, like
that, they don't know theirresponsibilities are out the
window.

Sage (46:20):
Yeah, it takes away their responsibility, but your
responsibility is to not letthem drink and drive and shit
like that.

Rick (46:27):
Right? Yeah. I mean, I get Yeah, I get what you're trying
to do, Jen, like, I understandwhat you're, you know, the
people that are behind the wheeland all this shit, they're the
ones that should be fullypunished. But the bar should
also have some sort ofresponsibility, even if it's
just a fine or something likethat, you know, just be like,

(46:48):
hey, this person was seenleaving this bar completely shit
faced and you let him go? Withno, you know, but then on the
flip side, though, you can'treally detain someone either.
Yeah, I mean, you can't be like,you know, can you be like, No,
you're not allowed to leave orlet me get over someone else to

(47:10):
objective

Genesis (47:10):
of a choice to make.
Yeah, not

Sage (47:12):
really. Can you think about it? If you decide to cut
somebody off and they startbeing belligerent, and like, No,
you can't like that person'sdrunk. They're gonna stay there
long enough arguing for you tocall the cops and still be there
arguing. Like they're yourproblem now. Not me.

Genesis (47:31):
Right? Right. Have you when you were a bartender? Did
you have to cut people off?

Sage (47:36):
No, I'm a degenerate

Genesis (47:42):
I just want people to have fun.

Sage (47:44):
You give me $50 I got up you can get it from me though.
Those are some good nights. Imade so much money. Yeah,
bartenders

Genesis (47:58):
make bank well in Indiana, one arm piano players
must perform for free. Let'sseems kind of fucked up.

Sage (48:08):
They must perform for free. Why the must

Genesis (48:15):
it seems a little ridiculous. Yeah,

Sage (48:17):
that seems very ridiculous.

Genesis (48:20):
circus act was fucking you doing?

Sage (48:24):
Yeah. I I wonder how this law played out considering
everything that's recently goingon. is illegal for group of
people to wear masks in public.

Genesis (48:37):
Oh, what state was that? New York? There's no way
that's a current law

Sage (48:43):
that they had to be like.

Genesis (48:48):
What are we gonna do?

Sage (48:51):
Like everybody kind of has to wear a mask.

Genesis (48:54):
When I guess Texas,

Sage (48:57):
Texas, it's illegal to say anything against Texas.

Genesis (49:03):
I think I've seen one where like, you couldn't take
more than three sips of beerwhile you were standing in
Texas. You had to be sitting

Sage (49:11):
essentially. And it was illegal to shoot a man and back
in Texas.

Genesis (49:15):
That's a good one.

Sage (49:17):
But the fact that they that everybody's walking around
like living in the wild wildwest

Genesis (49:22):
Yeah, that's there's honor. You know, at least
there's some honor there.

Rick (49:26):
Yeah, let me know. Honor among Thieves, you know, yeah, I
was I you know, I stepped awayfor a minute and I was just
like, Oh, I heard honor. was thelast thing. Yeah. Even notice in
regards to no no idea. So I gotanother one. In Long Beach. It

(49:47):
is prohibited to put anythingother than cars in the garage.
Like you can in long Okay,California.

Genesis (49:57):
That's see like That's stupid. And it seems like that's
the state like infringing onlike your like your property
like you own that shit? Yeah.
Why can they justify or tell youwhat to do? Do

Rick (50:11):
it California? Right? This is the same state that's like
what are they there's somethingwith like solar panels like if
you want to do solar panels orno, it's a floor tiles, you
can't change your floor tileswithout a permit in your house.
Like you need to get permissionfrom your, from your county.

Genesis (50:34):
Like I get like, like some of those I've heard where
they're, like consideredhistorical, like, historical
landmarks or whatever. And thenyou have to like, you can't
alter anything, if you own theplace. Like I get something like
that. But like it was just yourhouse? Or like, isn't there a
lot of like states where youcan't like even paint the color

(50:55):
of your house? Whatever youwant, or like put up anything
like you have to get to getlike, you're just not allowed
to?

Rick (51:03):
Yeah, it's, it's, it's, there are some way to most
specifically in California, orjust in

Genesis (51:11):
Snyder know where that I know, like, California, you
see, like, if you drive to theneighborhood, and like in my
area, you'll see completelydifferent architecture from one
house to the next color is veryvibrant, like from one house to
the next. Because there's nolaws out here that state you can

(51:34):
that you can just do whateverthe fuck you want to your house
and a lot of other states. Iknow, I know, Illinois has some
of these restrictions where youcan't just do whatever the fuck
you want to your house. Yeah,

Rick (51:45):
there are some states where yeah, they don't allow you
to, like if you want to justpaint your house pink randomly.
I mean, you probably can, butyou have to get permission. And
the shitty thing about it isit's also pretty much up to the
worker that you talk with at thecity hall or the village hall or

(52:06):
whatever, because, right?
Because if they're just in a badmood, or if they just think your
idea is stupid, they canabsolutely deny it. And then
this, they don't even reallyneed to give you an excuse. They
could just be like, Well, no,you know, we don't allow we
don't allow certain colors.
Right? Yeah, like at a my girlsschool. They don't allow them to

(52:28):
they don't allow the kids tohave like different color hair.
Unless it's like the naturalcolors, right? Blonde, black red
shirt, like, oh, they can likepink or No, no, they don't allow
them to have any colors. Andtheir thought process is because
it's distracting. Right? Andit's like, they're fucking seven
years old. Everything isdistracting to a seven year old.

(52:51):
You know, I could

Genesis (52:51):
see maybe like a private school where there's
dress code, or like, like, notdress code, but like uniforms.
Right? I can see maybe then,like they would have been like,
like it is a public school.
Right? Yeah. Yeah. That'sstupid.

Rick (53:05):
It's It's crazy, stupid.
But it's the same. It's the samecounty where my work van I had
to call the City Hall. And it'sactually a part of Chicago's
regulations to where you cannotpark commercial vehicles with
like, you know, company logosand shit in residential areas.

(53:27):
Like, oh, they're thought and Iremember asking the officer
like, does that make sense toyou? Like, that doesn't make any
sense, right? Because what,like, what are they saying?
Like, oh, I can't advertise? Or,you know, I can't advertise
because I'm in a residentialarea. Like, what is? What does
that mean? Why, like, what,like, I don't have there's no

(53:51):
company phone number. There's noaddress, it literally is just
the name of this one. I mean,it's, it's blatantly a lot.
Like, you know, it's a white vanwith like, a bunch of colors and
shit on it. But like, it's justgot the company name. And then
like, some of the products thatare attached to that company,
right,

Genesis (54:14):
and they just will get in trouble or a ticket or
something in that neighborhood.
Yeah,

Rick (54:18):
you're gonna take some of the guys, some of the guys on
the team had to get all whitevans, because now that they're
in Chicago, you can't park inresidential residential areas
with these, you know, with thesetypes of vehicles, and I still
have not gotten a clear answeras to why like,

Genesis (54:38):
what what are the stakeout cops going to drive
them?

Rick (54:43):
I mean

Genesis (54:47):
you know some fake cleaners Vaseline on when
they're trying to watch andabout to read a house or
something like they're not goingto do that. It's their
camouflage is gone.

Rick (54:56):
Sure, I guess. But first of all, They have the first of
all, how many vehicle? How manypolice vehicles? Have you seen?
Where they didn't blatantly looklike an unmarked car?

Genesis (55:13):
I mean, none. But that's the thing you don't know.
How would you know? You onlyknow the ones that you do know?
True. True there. You coulddrive past fucking 1000 of them
a day, you wouldn't know.

Rick (55:26):
No, but I feel like a lot of them are pretty obvious. You
know? Like,

Genesis (55:31):
you look at the license plate and they all say MJ 12 on
it. You know, it's a fuckingpolice car.

Rick (55:36):
Right? What are they?
Sometimes they'll do like thelike the what's the spotlight
that they have right above thelight side mirrors. They'll have
that sitting there or like,you'll blatantly see like a cage
between the front seat in thebackseat. Like,

Genesis (55:54):
yeah, I'm gonna I'm talking about like the stakeout
ones in the stakeout vans don'thave that shit.

Rick (55:58):
Now you're given some officers, and some police
departments way too much credit.

Genesis (56:04):
I'm sure like the Harvey Police Department doesn't
have the funds for the superdecked out stakeout van.

Rick (56:10):
Yeah, no, Harvey Police Department says this is not
Harvey PD. On the side. That'sthe that's the kind of fun

Genesis (56:23):
you have to say your cup of your cup, right.

Sage (56:31):
So I don't know. I mean, but I've never been in that
situation.

Rick (56:35):
I gotta go home for you.
In the city of walnut. It isCalifornia. Right walnut,
California. You it is prohibitedto fly a kite higher than 10
feet off of the ground.

Genesis (56:53):
Well, obviously that's for safety purposes, you know,
for lightning strikes. AndBenjamin Franklin Yeah. Oh, they

Rick (57:00):
don't want someone

Sage (57:01):
actually happened. Did it?

Rick (57:04):
I bet you this law was based on that. The the idea of
that happening, and then theyjust like, fuck it. Just leave
it on. Now. He

Genesis (57:11):
didn't put a key on a kite. No. I'm gonna need some
fact checks on that one. Don'truin my history. Sage.

Rick (57:20):
Nope. No history for you, buddy.

Sage (57:25):
I got a good one for you.

Genesis (57:28):
For who? Me or Rick, for both of

Sage (57:31):
you involved? And apparently, this is something
that they actually enforce. SoAlaska, is illegal to be drunk
in a bar. Period. Yeah, perstate law. A person who was
already drunk may not knowinglyenter a bar to drink or remain

(57:53):
in a bar that got them drunk inthe first place.

Genesis (57:56):
So you're supposed to get drunk and leave, apparently.
But where's the fun in that justWell, I guess that you'd like
you go there fulfill your dutyof getting drunk and then you go
home. And then that cuts out theresponsibility of the bartender.
Right.

Sage (58:11):
But then you can't pregame

Genesis (58:13):
Yeah, no. Pregame and I bet in Alaska, you're not trying
to do much traveling anyways,though.

Sage (58:20):
I mean, some parts of Alaska are like super nice, I
believe.

Genesis (58:24):
For what one month of the year? Probably were no what
is it? Like? Three days or threemonths of the year? It's sunny,
and then the rest of the year?
It's all like there's nosunlight, right.

Rick (58:37):
But It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Genesis (58:40):
Oh, yo, her?

Rick (58:47):
Don't? Don't do me like that.

Sage (58:51):
Do really Idaho isn't allowed to have an active ban on
cannibalism.

Genesis (59:07):
I mean, go Idaho. It's pretty good on them.

Sage (59:16):
You would think that would be national, that

Genesis (59:18):
it's so funny how like, disjointed all the states are
considering that like some ofthese have like laws that are
very just common sense. Thatshould be in every state or I
mean, I guess like those areprobably also at a federal law
or federal level, for the mostpart. Now, how does that Rick

(59:40):
like work, Rick, with federallaws versus state laws? Because
like the the federal governmentcan go into combat with the
state. Right when it comes tolaws like that, because isn't
that what we'd went through whenit was becoming legalized and
only a state level? Or maybeeven still is but

Rick (59:58):
yeah, well Most of the time, the federal government
will leave essentially all ofthe laws to on a state by state
basis. Right. But then whenthere's something that's a state
law that has, you know, thepotential to impact our entire
culture, like our entiresociety, then the federal

(01:00:19):
government will step in. Right.
That's why you see people,right, but that's why you see
abortion becoming illegal in somany states, because it I mean,
abortion really only affects theone person that is trying to get
in, even though it impacts allwomen. It still, you know, it's
still not quite up to thefederal level. Right? So federal

(01:00:40):
level stuff, it's usually youknow, the basics, right? Their
body their choice, right, not tomention it becomes federal, like
a crime becomes federal, if itleaves state lines, like if you
kill someone in Illinois andleave the state.

Genesis (01:00:59):
Right. Yeah, like I go that, because it just, it just
seems easier to blink in itinto, you know, the country as a
whole.

Rick (01:01:08):
Right. Right. Because, because, and the reason why they
do that. And we're kind of oneof the only countries that do
it. Because California is vastlydifferent from Indiana. Right?
We're all United States, butwhere none, no two states are
really alike.

Genesis (01:01:27):
One other country has an embodiment of like states,
like the United States says, Isthere any other countries out
there like that? Like I guessmaybe Canada was the province?
Is that even the same thing?

Rick (01:01:40):
That's kind of that's kind of the closest to it.

Sage (01:01:45):
I mean, maybe Great Britain, or UK whatever. Yeah.

Rick (01:01:50):
Yeah, but Canada is always kind of been like America's
little brother, little sistertype thing. You know, they're
definitely ahead of us in somethings like universal health
care shit like that. But for themost part, they you know,
they're not too far behind usand a lot of them.

Sage (01:02:13):
Here's one, that if we all should have been arrested for
this. So in Galesburg apparentlylike on site. Now get this in
Galesburg, Illinois, which Idon't know where to flip
Galesburg is lived here my wholelife have Nope, never heard that

(01:02:36):
city a day in my life. But theyhave a law strictly prohibits
fancy riding of bicycles on anystreets. And they go into detail
saying fancy riding meansremoving hands from the
handlebars. or removed from thepedal. Or any acrobatics,

(01:03:00):
shenanigans, or fancy I don'teven know what word that is.
Yeah, my my try.

Genesis (01:03:09):
Like thinking back at all the stupid shit I did riding
a bike as a kid. That law shouldvery much be enforced because
there were so many instanceswhere I should have died. got
seriously injured.

Rick (01:03:22):
Oh my goodness.

Sage (01:03:24):
How do you know if you're going to be a BMX? Great,
though, you gotta you gottalearn.

Genesis (01:03:28):
Just ban the sport.
Fuck it.

Rick (01:03:31):
No. Do I just looking at my list here? There are two that
popped up. Now I'm off theCalifornia list. Okay, I am now
on to other states. And I justcame across two that are
absolute bangers. Okay, okay.
The first one is it is illegalin the state of Georgia to eat

(01:03:52):
fried chicken anyway, but thenwith your hands.

Sage (01:04:00):
I saw that that was gonna be my next one. Oh, and I stand
by that I stand by I mean

Rick (01:04:05):
for sure. Ya know if you're eating chicken with a
knife and fork fucking I knowGuantanamo Bay for sure.

Sage (01:04:11):
I know people that do clean it and it drives me
fucking crazy.

Genesis (01:04:14):
But what about like the big old chicken breasts,

Rick (01:04:16):
though? Nah, nah, use your fingers man. Peel that shit off.

Sage (01:04:21):
There the the rule literally say it's fried
chicken.

Rick (01:04:24):
Yeah. You're gonna fried chicken fries. Yeah.

Sage (01:04:27):
Yeah, but are you eating fried chicken with a fucking
knife and fork even the breasts?
I have. Yes. I'm turning youinto

Genesis (01:04:40):
drumsticks thighs like every other part of the chicken.
You know, that's handheld foodright there. I mean, you gotta
even eat the breast with myhands. I use my hands with them
for the breast. Like a lot ofthe time.

Rick (01:04:55):
Yeah. Why use my hands breast. I remember going out
with

Genesis (01:04:59):
my hand. It's for the breasts.

Rick (01:05:01):
Yeah. I just I was blown past that because it was corn.
The reason why

Sage (01:05:11):
So, the reason this law came about was a publicity stunt
for some for chicken chain downthat somehow paid their way into
making this law in 1961. Butsomebody actually got arrested
in 2009 a tourist was arrestedfor eating for violating the

(01:05:33):
chicken and fork rule.

Rick (01:05:36):
This is why this is why they are they need I'm normally
not for the whole abolish thepolice shit. But you should be a
ret you should not have a badgeif your walk first of all that
you know that this is a law.
That's different. Why do youknow that? That's the second
thing is why are you enforcingyou walk in? Clearly as a

(01:05:56):
tourist, you know, he's probablygot some Hawaiian shirt on even
if

Sage (01:06:02):
he wasn't a tourist. Yeah, but

Rick (01:06:04):
even yet even then, like, who's the who's the officer?
They sit in there? That's like,Hmm, this asshole is using a
knife and a fork for a chicken.
And how much is

Genesis (01:06:17):
it? How much is the bucket of chicken?

Rick (01:06:19):
Right? You have to buy everyone in the restaurant a
bucket of chicken

Genesis (01:06:25):
that's how I'd sages restaurant for chicken his
chicken restaurant?

Rick (01:06:31):
What's your chicken restaurant? Me? Like? Would it
be called?

Sage (01:06:35):
I'm confused on what he's talking about at the moment.
It's called

Genesis (01:06:38):
jerks. That's the most I could come up

Sage (01:06:44):
with. That's the most Yeah.

Genesis (01:06:48):
It's it's, you know?
It's actually kind of a doperestaurant name. If you think
about it.

Sage (01:06:54):
Really? I mean, if you make a jerk chicken,

Rick (01:06:57):
but then imagine people walking in and you'd be like,
No, we don't sell jerk chickenhere. No.

Genesis (01:07:06):
Well, the owner if you have you met him,

Sage (01:07:09):
right? Well, if I've made a place like that called jerks,
people come in. Oh, yeah, I'mgonna get a four piece. Yeah, we
only sell burgers. It's thosewith the name jerks.

Rick (01:07:22):
You remember? You remember? You remember that
episode on the league when hehad tacos truck. And everybody
was like, Can I get some tacos?
And he's like, we don't sellMexican food here. Like why do
you keep asking for talking?
He's like, what is called tacostruck? No, that's my name. Taco.
Is my name.

Genesis (01:07:41):
Stupid. Wonder why I don't watch this show. Yeah,

Rick (01:07:45):
great show.

Genesis (01:07:48):
I never watched it

Rick (01:07:49):
now. Okay, I got one here for you. And it goes to show the
level of intelligence for thestate of Indiana. Okay, shout
out to all by Indiana listeners.
I don't think it says and it'snot even like, it's not even
specified on here that it'sagainst the law. But I think
what the law is implying is thevalue of pi is four, not 3.1415.

(01:08:12):
Like I think I think the law issaying like if you write on a
piece of paper that pi is 3.1415Blah, blah, blah. You're going
to fucking prison.

Genesis (01:08:28):
What the fuck you do?

Rick (01:08:32):
It's number 24 on this list, the value

Genesis (01:08:35):
that they celebrate it.
April. April, just by month bymonth.

Sage (01:08:49):
I don't know if it's still alive, but I remember reading it
once before I can't find it nowanymore. But in Illinois, if I
say me and Jen are having aconversation. And Rick, you join
the conversation without any ofus either of us talking to you
first. We can sue you for thatand when

Rick (01:09:09):
but all right.

Sage (01:09:15):
Is a stupid law. There's so many stupid laws out here.

Genesis (01:09:19):
There is a head cuz you were talking about the chicken
thing actually had a list of ofincidents where people were
arrested for the weirdest ordumbest things. So I had a
couple of those I was going toshare with you guys. This one
happened at a Taco Bell.

Sage (01:09:38):
Show arrested that lady who got Taco Bell to sell french
fries.

Genesis (01:09:44):
What do you mean?

Sage (01:09:46):
Like she went in there drunk causing a scene because
she wanted fucking french fries.
And it went viral. A month laterTaco Bell so it's now selling
french fries. Oh

Genesis (01:09:59):
yeah, those those fries wasn't even that good by the way
it was still stupid it wasstupid but so in Florida a
couple an old couple of theirrun their 50s they began arguing
and it turned into food fightwhere she or he threw a burrito

(01:10:23):
a Taco Bell burrito supreme atthe back of her head and she
turned around and stabbed himwith a four Oh

Sage (01:10:33):
laws of equivalent exchange

Genesis (01:10:38):
so they got they both got arrested for battery on that

Sage (01:10:43):
he got arrested for it was a it was a burrito

Genesis (01:10:47):
battery. Like, what is the Salton better what's the
definition of those?

Sage (01:10:53):
damn fine no.

Genesis (01:10:54):
Oh,

Rick (01:10:55):
I think it's not as bad to say I think

Genesis (01:11:01):
like are they weren't the same because that was the
assault and battery.

Sage (01:11:06):
I believe they should be doing two different things. I
mean, if only we were sitting infront of something that could
easily answer this one

Rick (01:11:15):
I got here's a good one while you look that up that you
guys might like in the state ofMaine Christmas decorations must
not go up past January 14.

Genesis (01:11:27):
Ah well I don't agree with that cuz it should be
Christmas all your

Rick (01:11:32):
ROM it should be but but it's not. So like if Genesis. Do
you have Christmas decorations?
Anywhere in your apartment rightnow. This fucking man has his
Christmas tree.

Sage (01:11:51):
Oh, I already knew the answer. What?

Rick (01:11:53):
Is that a Christmas tree?
Is that what that is? Is thatit's like a random like pile of
clothes that's just shaped on

Genesis (01:12:04):
a tower of clothes.
That's why I don't have room toput it

Rick (01:12:13):
I don't buy nice,

Genesis (01:12:14):
nice lights on it.

Rick (01:12:15):
You gotta you gotta cause it somewhere. You know? What,
don't you live in us? You knowcall the authorities right now.

Genesis (01:12:23):
And you said this was me and I would be arrested? Yes,
yes, you should be arrestedwhere you're at now. Family,

Rick (01:12:28):
I would go there for laps there. They don't need to worry
about your crazy neighbors theyneed to worry about you.

Sage (01:12:34):
So this is crazy. So the main difference between a
battery charge and an assaultcharge is the actual presence of
harm and the threat of harm.
Someone can only be charged withbattery if they have caused real
physical harm to someone while aperson can be charged with
assault if the mere threat ofharm is present

Genesis (01:12:56):
like shaking my fist in your direction or something

Sage (01:13:00):
that's the sole I will Yes so

Genesis (01:13:04):
I'll let the characters know that

Sage (01:13:15):
well I guess because you know you can get verbal assault
you can get arrested for that soI guess just spewing hate speech
or shit like that

Genesis (01:13:23):
but I thought I thought like physical assault would just
be assault.

Sage (01:13:28):
Now apparently physical assault is battery so physical
assault

Genesis (01:13:31):
is battery and then there's assault which is non
physical assault but also notverbal.

Sage (01:13:37):
I guess that people get a chart get charged with both of
them because technically you'redoing both

Genesis (01:13:43):
you right Yeah, right.
Because one led to the other.
Yeah, I got before and after youstarted at assault and you moved
into battery. Why is it calledbattery?

Sage (01:13:55):
I don't know. But it's like Reading Rainbow here the
more you're

Genesis (01:13:57):
charged this guy over here in order to go he got a
warrant out for his arrest andwas forced to turn himself for
not returning VHS tape he rented14 years earlier and

Sage (01:14:21):
I knew it was gonna be something stupid like that.
Blockbuster gonna get the money.

Genesis (01:14:25):
Do you know what movie it was?

Sage (01:14:28):
Um, give me a decade

Genesis (01:14:33):
early 2000s

Sage (01:14:35):
early 2000s and didn't return it 14 years later. I feel
like Be Kind Rewind will be tooon the nose. That will be
perfect, though but

Genesis (01:14:51):
I will say I'll give you another hand. This title has
everything to do with what weopen the show talking about a
lot about

Sage (01:15:02):
Okay, so this only gives me Give me two movies. Oh, three
movies, three movies. No,because that one came on Monday
night so I can't count it. Somine is either I don't know when
this came out but I'm justtaking guess so is marking
marking it? No. Okay, it was inYeah, that was okay. So yeah,
that was 99 Okay, so I will sayit's either sawn wood decking

(01:15:23):
Jiang or Zack and Miri Make aPorno.

Genesis (01:15:30):
No, dammit. Or

Sage (01:15:34):
was it NASDAQ American corner?

Genesis (01:15:35):
No, no. Do you want to take a stab?

Rick (01:15:40):
Is it so when he says Zack and Miri Make a Porno? You said
it sounded very close. It soundslike no, I just I was about to
say. So I have two thoughts. Butand I don't know when. I don't
know when four year old so Idon't I have no idea. 40 Year

(01:16:02):
Old Virgin. Dude, Where's MyCar? I don't know. I I'm just
naming movies. I have no idea.
Daddy.

Genesis (01:16:08):
Would you like some sausage? Oh my god. Oh,

Sage (01:16:11):
Freddy Got Fingered up.

Genesis (01:16:14):
He was charged with a class three misdemeanor.

Sage (01:16:18):
Fucking Freddy Got Fingered. Or Freddy Got
Fingered? Wouldn't what was hecharged

Genesis (01:16:23):
with this? 2016

Sage (01:16:26):
It was a dead media.

Genesis (01:16:31):
VHS is were no longer being produced. It's a class
three misdemeanor for it. That'sprobably like a $5,000 Fine.

Sage (01:16:40):
I will turn around and sue them but like, show me find a
VHS player that can play right.

Rick (01:16:47):
That's crazy. They went after this this man for that?
Yeah,

Genesis (01:16:51):
Blockbuster. It was black. Like I'd say it was
probably some local. Probablysome local thing. It doesn't
actually say Right. That'sprobably still open. North
Carolina. Oh, it was. Oh wait.
No, no, no, it wasn't it. Theywere just making a joke about
blockbuster as well in thearticle

Sage (01:17:12):
was found Hollywood Video.
Maybe on your last haul? Yeah.
Family Video. They were like,Man, you ain't you had this
movie out for like six months.
I'm like, I know. I meant this.
Return it he's like, look, giveme $15 A call even less.

Genesis (01:17:28):
You can negotiate with them. I remember that.

Rick (01:17:33):
Hey, go. This one. I think you might like sage. In North
Carolina. It is illegal to singoff key.

Sage (01:17:42):
That should be illegal everywhere.

Genesis (01:17:46):
But just want to have fun.

Rick (01:17:48):
Yeah, so you're telling me if I'm in my car blessing
fucking

Sage (01:17:53):
it should have the caveat to where you know. It's illegal
to sing off key when otherpeople can hear

Genesis (01:17:58):
you. That No, but I want you to hear me sing off key

Sage (01:18:03):
Lou. physically hurts. Um, okay.

Genesis (01:18:09):
Is this the same key that Ben Franklin used on his
kite? Dude, I swear

Sage (01:18:13):
that's a myth. Looking at 90%

Genesis (01:18:22):
Okay, so as we're getting close to the end of the
episode, though, are there whatare some things that you guys
think should be laws like?

Rick (01:18:37):
Driving No, no, because I mean, it's already kind of I
guess a lot. Like drive superslow.

Genesis (01:18:43):
You got to follow the speed limit? Yeah.

Rick (01:18:47):
Oh, I got it. Having speaker phone conversations in
public. Like when you're youhave someone else speaker. Yeah.
And like I agree with thatwholeheartedly. Yeah, you can
manage to the fullest degree.
Yeah. Guantanamo Bay, the wholedeath penalty. Rights. Yeah, go.

Sage (01:19:10):
Fast and stupid questions.

Rick (01:19:13):
Oh, for sure. Now, that's nice. Because it who determines
if what's stupid, you know? Oh,

Sage (01:19:19):
I think we all know. Well, yeah. For instance, somebody we
know who is also in it. They gota ticket last night. Not an
actual ticket. But one of theirclients call them saying, hey,
our internet doesn't workbecause we lost power. Can you
help us? Like, you let you lostpower? You answered your

(01:19:44):
question in the question. Thefuck you want me to

Rick (01:19:49):
do, right? Do you want me to just magically give you power
again, or try to think aboutanother one that should be
illegal. Like um now this isjust this is just for me in my
current living situation itshould be illegal to throw boxes

(01:20:12):
away without breaking thefucking boxes down now like like
you know how no no but when youthrow boxes away you don't break
the boxes down further it fillsthe garbage bin up quicker Yeah
and like there's there's likefive other people in this in
this building yeah well there'sfive other apartments in this

(01:20:35):
building all the people you cogslike it takes two seconds to
break the box down do you don'tneed a box cutter you could just
you know use some strength popit over you look

Genesis (01:20:48):
I didn't realize this was gonna turn into the

Rick (01:20:54):
rest of the episode this is definitely about to turn into
pet peeves now because noabsolutely not.

Sage (01:21:05):
I don't know like I don't know what I would say things
that need to be illegal

Genesis (01:21:10):
I got one it should be illegal to when not all people
it should be illegal for howshall I say like commercial
audio and other advertisementsto get louder than your what

(01:21:34):
you're watching during itsduration Have you noticed that
so you're

Rick (01:21:42):
saying like if you're if you're watching a show you're
watching a TV show and then acommercial comes on and the
commercial is not on the sameaudio level like they boost

Genesis (01:21:53):
the audio so it's like twice as loud to get your
attention it's affecting JDStactic.

Rick (01:21:59):
Okay, I'm going to double down on that and say it should
be the same way for any TV showwhere there's an intro in the
intro is fucking 30 Guy Yeahlouder than the show.

Sage (01:22:11):
Oh, to be fair I don't watch commercials on that poor

Rick (01:22:17):
Yeah, I don't either but like

Genesis (01:22:20):
I will ads and then as well but like live TV ever watch
live TV of fucking football gameever watch that. Yes,

Sage (01:22:29):
you do don't be paying attention

Genesis (01:22:31):
well that's they're trying to get your attention
when they do that shit.

Sage (01:22:35):
I'm not saying I don't need see another commercial for
Cialis

Rick (01:22:40):
that's fine.

Genesis (01:22:41):
I can write up like again

Sage (01:22:45):
Jays case Bucha There you go. If you don't by stacking
Bucha

Rick (01:22:51):
really, really needs to?
Or like just be thespokesperson. You know?

Sage (01:22:58):
Whatever by

Rick (01:22:59):
not? Could you imagine Jays face popping up on your TV?
Like what did he tell you alittle bit about Blue Chu? Do
you want to take six blue Chu?
And go to town on your lady for12 hours?

Sage (01:23:16):
No, it should be illegal to come out with half finished
fucking games purposely.

Genesis (01:23:23):
All right. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Sage (01:23:26):
Having day one DLC, you need to be shot in the face.

Rick (01:23:30):
Oh, I got another one for you. It should be illegal to
wear shorts. In weather lower orin temperatures lower than 60
degrees. Why? Because Go fuckyourself. Nobody. Nobody cares
that you've got a high bodytolerance or you've got because
irritates

Sage (01:23:49):
me. It's attacking all of our whitelist

Rick (01:23:53):
like, it makes me sick to see these cocksuckers walk
around. It is. No not becauseI'm jealous, because they need
to be miserable like the rest ofus.

Sage (01:24:04):
But on the flip side, I can't say that because on the
flip side today, it was 100degrees today. Yeah. And I had
on the jacket the entire year of

Genesis (01:24:12):
mania. Yeah, if you're gonna go one way, you got to go

Rick (01:24:14):
the other way as well. No or so. So what you're saying is
when it's over 100 We all justneed to be naked. Yeah, go back.
Look around

Genesis (01:24:24):
the elliptic area.

Rick (01:24:26):
Oh my goodness.

Sage (01:24:28):
Look, follow. That just made me this needs to be a law
everywhere. If you've ever beento any type of convention, you
feel this deep in your soul. Itshould be illegal to go to
convention and not weardeodorant.

Rick (01:24:45):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or you shouldn't be allowed to go
anywhere in any enclosed spacelike tight spaces without like
some sort of DOD or like anolder check and they have some
Want to do?

Sage (01:25:01):
Like have you ever been to like a comic con or anime con or
something like that? And theroom that everybody's in is a
couple 1000 square feet. Likeit's a big dumb ass room. But
the second you cross that plane,you just hit with a funk wall.
I'm like, How is it this manypeople that just said fuck it
today?

Rick (01:25:22):
You said a phone call.
That's funny.

Sage (01:25:27):
You know, you know, it's rough.

Rick (01:25:31):
Oh, I know. I got one. It should be illegal. And this is
this is attacking the ladiesbecause I don't see guys doing
this. I'm sorry. It should beillegal for for ladies to post
pictures and use captions thatthey do not live their life by
like, like the caption, let'ssay some some philosophical

(01:25:53):
thing. And it's like, I just sawyou talking two days ago. We're
gonna talk a little more dynamic

Genesis (01:25:59):
creatures. You can talk one day.

Rick (01:26:02):
Ladies, ladies. Please don't stop. Please don't. Yeah,
that's right. Let me just saythat. I'm not saying Ladies to
stop talking. Please keepworking. Okay,

Genesis (01:26:14):
but just not being philosophical.

Rick (01:26:16):
Yeah. You know, like don't don't no, oh, no, I Okay.
Scratch that. duck face. No moredark face.

Sage (01:26:23):
Is that festival thing?
It's

Rick (01:26:24):
kind of still at that. You still seem like a natural thing.
Is it though? I think so.
Naturally. He doesn't have toremember face. You got a rubber
face? Yeah, come

Genesis (01:26:39):
toward it to a thumb.
High, right?

Rick (01:26:44):
You kind of look like talking dumb.

Genesis (01:26:47):
If I had no facial hair, that would be true. No
see. But that's the

Rick (01:26:51):
thing though. The lameness is so strong. Having

Sage (01:26:57):
that that should be if you've been trying to grow
facial hair for two years, andthat shit still don't connect.
shave it off.

Rick (01:27:11):
If your face looks like someone just threw pubes at it,
and just let it go.

Sage (01:27:19):
Let it go. Same goes for the motherfucking with the with
the comb overs. Just make adecision. All

Rick (01:27:25):
right, let it go. Let it go. When when I eventually
started losing my hair, I'm justcutting it all off.

Genesis (01:27:33):
But what about what about if you get like the bowl
in like the bowl balding, youknow where you have like just
the sides? Should they then haveto also

Sage (01:27:42):
make a decision either pay to get the actual you know, to
fake hair going on? Or shave itall off? There is no in between?

Rick (01:27:49):
Yeah, go get some clothes or something and just you know,
or taken along. Because there'sso many people that we see
walking around with that baldhead wishes on the side, the
George Costanza type here. Andlike, I know nobody told you
that that looked good. There'snot a single person that tells

(01:28:10):
you you look, just lets you

Genesis (01:28:11):
pay technology has to have like, had a major come up
because it's not like a joke insitcoms anymore to like,

Sage (01:28:17):
well, it's not to paises actually, like hair restoration
is a real thing. And it's notit's not as cheesy and cheap as
it was like in the 90s and shedid it looks really good.
Natural now.

Rick (01:28:29):
Yeah, they can make it look like like they actually can
make your real hair growing.

Sage (01:28:36):
I'm 100% going to do this when I start to go wrong because
my head's too big. I would notlook right ball. And I'm not I'm
not about to run around with thefucking spots. I'm like

Rick (01:28:47):
I don't have the head shape to be bald, but I also I
don't have

Genesis (01:28:55):
I don't want to Photoshop multiwalled now to see
what it looks like. Just to seefor science. I have zero bald
people in my family so like I amliving full head of hair.

Sage (01:29:08):
That's a lie. It's not a lie. Your brother's bald sir.

Genesis (01:29:12):
Oh yeah, but he's not bald for genetic reasons. He's

Rick (01:29:15):
bald by choice like he into he cuts Oh no, he

Genesis (01:29:19):
lost his hair because he fucking did. He died in a lot
always wore hats and fuckingdidn't take care of it.

Sage (01:29:26):
You know your hair jeans come from your mom. So if you
have any balls off, good point.

Rick (01:29:37):
Well, then, you know I'm good then because my my mom's
side of the families. I mean,they're all some hairy people.
That's right. Yeah, I mean, itlooks Auntie Tony if you're
listening to this Yeah, I mean,you gotta let him know you're

(01:29:59):
thinking about him. You know?
Yeah, no

Genesis (01:30:06):
no, no, I was gonna ask them but I'm going to take that
one offline.

Rick (01:30:13):
You weren't about Nevermind, nevermind.

Sage (01:30:16):
I can just imagine where he's gonna

Rick (01:30:21):
continue to. I don't want to know what you're about as we
only want to hear it offline.

Genesis (01:30:30):
That was mostly to save you guys from getting in any
kind of trouble with with women.

Rick (01:30:39):
Who am I going to trouble with?

Sage (01:30:41):
Now I'm confused. Go ahead and ask questions. Now. Yeah,

Rick (01:30:44):
now you got to ask.

Genesis (01:30:46):
Well, I was gonna ask about women shaving their legs
and armpits.

Rick (01:30:50):
Oh, Jesus, man.

Genesis (01:30:53):
Here's me. Here's a water.

Rick (01:30:55):
Yeah

Sage (01:31:01):
I can't I can't be a chick who has more armpit hair than I
do.

Rick (01:31:07):
I'm,

Sage (01:31:07):
I'm not a hairy individual. So

Rick (01:31:10):
see, I don't care to be honest with you. Like I now,
hair down there. That's adifferent story. But like, legs
and arms. I don't give a shit.
Armpits or armpits yet? No, Idon't I don't care. Like I don't
care. I've never looked at achick. I thought she was
attractive. And then she raisedher arms and saw that forest

(01:31:32):
who'd like now

Sage (01:31:37):
100% would tell me you're going you're out. You meet some
girl who you think is hot.
You're looking at it from afar.
And then when you get closer,you see she's wearing like a
little a little halter topassumption. And her her arms are
down. But you can see that thatlittle fro peeking out. You
wouldn't be like nah, nah,

Rick (01:31:58):
no, no, as long as when I walk up to her and as long as
she doesn't look like fuckingasthma. I don't I don't give a
fuck. You know?

Genesis (01:32:07):
Like Like, do you shave your

Rick (01:32:11):
armpits? No, I do not shave mark.

Genesis (01:32:14):
I feel like you'd be something that would know what
Yeah, cuz you would think it'slike gross.

Rick (01:32:19):
No, no, no, I don't know do I really don't care? I mean,
man I

Sage (01:32:24):
keep it above I tried it once never again.

Rick (01:32:26):
No No yeah, definitely tried it. Like I want to say
junior high school or somethinglike that. And it's to all hell
for like a week straight likenew never again now

Sage (01:32:41):
it's all Raschi and shit like

Rick (01:32:43):
yeah, you're like it's worth talking. Yeah

Genesis (01:32:48):
you didn't you didn't use the Nair they got the
special products

Rick (01:32:51):
that's your burn it those

Genesis (01:32:54):
of us there yeah he's near on your no no area

Rick (01:32:57):
or that what is this up PVS podcast no no Eric
is the worst that's the absoluteworst I wish we did some beds.

Genesis (01:33:19):
I know I want to do like a fucking waxing but with a
waxing.

Rick (01:33:23):
Well first of all first of all that's not

Genesis (01:33:26):
because we got to like loosen you got to wax your chest
or something

Rick (01:33:31):
No, that's not happening I would rather than do something
like like if I lost and I'd haveto you know sack tap someone
randomly outside or somethinglike that. I would rather do
that than wax

Genesis (01:33:46):
that's battery sir.

Sage (01:33:48):
You possibly get to ask me

Rick (01:33:52):
why I wouldn't get my ass beat but I would definitely I
would i i wouldn't get my SPbecause I'd be running first of
all let me let me make thatclear. Not that I would defend
myself. Then I will be runningfast as all hell. Oh,

Sage (01:34:07):
just a run backs that.

Rick (01:34:09):
Yeah, just Yeah. grocery bills. You know just

Genesis (01:34:14):
Grove Street Mall battery somebody

Rick (01:34:17):
or I can say scrubs got they they just Yeah.

Genesis (01:34:27):
If anybody out there has any fun beds for us to try
life challenges. I would like todo a live challenge. Again, we
did that. I did that against himback in the day. You remember
that stage?

Sage (01:34:38):
Yeah. When you Yeah. The fucking Dave's insanity soft
shit. I mean, our days. It wasamazing.

Genesis (01:34:45):
The Beatles when we

Sage (01:34:47):
were researching spaces in your mouth, you can hold them
like Yeah, well,

Genesis (01:34:53):
yeah, I wanted to win.
I didn't but I swear he cheated.

Sage (01:34:58):
Like I won, because I do And just

Genesis (01:35:03):
I challenged him to a series of life challenges. So
one was the B Dubs hot wingchallenge. Then it was like a
game of chess. Then it was likea game of seen it.

Sage (01:35:15):
And then you you were cheating a little motherfucker.
And you finally admit thatyou've memorized the fucking
question. No. Shit.

Genesis (01:35:23):
I come on. I would tell you the truth. No, he wouldn't.
One I don't cheat. And two.

Sage (01:35:32):
You do both of those. This man we're playing seen it in
mind. We've played this gamefour or five times before?
Either I've won or Tim's won.
This this time we play it thistime. He's answering the
question before the question iseven fucking finished acts.

Genesis (01:35:50):
He's won. I won all the time.

Sage (01:35:52):
No, you didn't.

Genesis (01:35:54):
I didn't win every single time but I didn't win
Never. Not when

Rick (01:36:00):
he didn't win one. I smell like so my gene was in my life.
One of the

Genesis (01:36:09):
that's the that's yet the lip. Whoa, whoa, what

Rick (01:36:13):
the line part? I don't know. Oh, my goodness. Wait a
minute. You tell more.
Somebody's over live. The youknow, let it go.

Sage (01:36:25):
We need to do a live community podcast but make teams
and play cranium. Yeah.

Genesis (01:36:35):
I tried to find it on the table tab similar. It's not
really on there.

Sage (01:36:40):
Well, you know, it's If only we knew somebody who makes
games. Hmm.

Genesis (01:36:48):
I'll be I'll get right on that.

Sage (01:36:53):
Is there I mean have played your game you ain't doing
enough.

Genesis (01:36:57):
All right. And with that, thank you everybody.
Episode David exchanged by gagsIs there anything about laws?
You guys want to talk before wewrap up this episode?

Sage (01:37:09):
The law of Equivalent Exchange?

Genesis (01:37:11):
Explain.

Sage (01:37:15):
So, Full Metal Alchemist.
If you've seen it, then Okay.

Genesis (01:37:21):
Sounds like I've heard I pretty much

Rick (01:37:24):
Yeah. And it's not like that.

Genesis (01:37:29):
You know, like I'm I'm fascinated by

Rick (01:37:33):
let you not own people.
That's,

Genesis (01:37:37):
that's a good law.

Rick (01:37:38):
No, no, I'm saying you're fascinated. Because you want to
abolish it.

Genesis (01:37:45):
Alright. train track.

Rick (01:37:52):
Or let me guess the law that you want to take back is
making Juneteenth a federalholiday.

Genesis (01:37:58):
Well, we'll see you next week for a brand new topic
and episode of The Havenexchange podcast with one less
host.

Rick (01:38:08):
Right? Because Are you saying you're not going to be on
the show anymore? Because youare arrested for restarting
Auschwitz,

Genesis (01:38:16):
or you're fired?
whichever happens first.

Sage (01:38:20):
Restarting. Oh, also, you gotta pour one out today. For
all you nerds out there. You'regonna wake up tomorrow. And
Internet Explorer will no longerbe a thing. Hello?

Genesis (01:38:37):
Oh, is that true? Yeah.
Is it cuz edge is taken over?
Yeah, Microsoft

Sage (01:38:44):
is getting rid of it completely. They're forcing it
off of everybody's system. Nice.

Rick (01:38:49):
I mean, all right for you if you haven't moved on to
Chrome or

Sage (01:38:53):
you'd be surprised how many companies have not moved on

Rick (01:38:59):
you know how many accounts I go to where niggas will still
have Windows XP. Like bro thatshit was like 50 years ago man
let it go. Go

Genesis (01:39:13):
All right, well, we're still waiting on the it takes to
live stream which neverhappened. Never.

Rick (01:39:19):
Me. Yeah, well, I'm still waiting on you to finish part
two of your biography. So Imean, like why keep waiting
MINECO

Genesis (01:39:36):
I walked right into that one.

Sage (01:39:40):
You actually got me with him. I was like, what

Genesis (01:39:45):
is it under the floorboards like

Rick (01:39:49):
oh, like someone with the initial
man, Jesus Can't keep callingthem. This is the Haven exchange

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Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Absurd Laws of the United States - Haven Exchange #61