Becoming Is Still Movement: Your Journey Is Valid

Have you ever looked at your growth journey and wondered if it even counts as progress? That questioning voice usually shows up when our transformation doesn't match what's celebrated on social media—the loud, visible wins that come with external validation.

This episode tackles the painful disconnect between real growth and recognized growth. We explore why so many of us dismiss our quieter victories: the healing work, boundary-setting, moment of pause before reacting, or choosing self-care instead of burnout. These transformations may not come with certificates or social media likes, but they represent profound progress that deserves acknowledgment.

You'll discover practical strategies to honor your journey, including creating a "this counts" list to document wins you'd normally overlook, redefining progress based on your current season, and catching comparison before it undermines your confidence. We dig into the powerful truth that "becoming is still movement"—even when that movement happens beneath the surface where others can't witness it.

The conversation addresses how we often measure ourselves against our "survival self"—that version who hustled, overperformed, and ignored her needs—instead of celebrating the healthier, more authentic self emerging. We talk about the courage it takes to encourage yourself when no external support is available, and how to build relationships with people who can reflect your growth back to you.

Whether you're in a healing season where showing up for yourself is progress, or a building season where having a sustainable plan counts as forward movement, this episode affirms that your journey is valid exactly as it is. Ready to transform how you measure growth? Write down three small things you've done that you wouldn't have done a year ago and join our 40-day authenticity challenge as we walk this path together—not perfectly, but honestly.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today I want to speak directly to the part of you
that's been wondering is thiseven progress?
I know because it's not loud,it's not shiny and it doesn't
look like what they post onsocial media.
So let me say it clearly thisstill counts.

(00:22):
Even if it's slow, even ifnobody claps, even if you're the
only one that knows what itcosts you, it still counts.
See, we live in a world thathas been conditioned to believe
that only certain kinds ofgrowth matter the kinds with
receipts, the kinds you can post, the kinds that scream look at

(00:45):
me.
But what if your most powerfultransformation is the one that
no one else sees?
See, here's why so many peoplefeel like their progress doesn't
count, and it's because it'snot visible to others, it's slow
and messy.
See, so many people arecomparing their chapter two to

(01:08):
someone else's chapter 20.
It could be that you think, ifit's not perfect, it's not real,
or maybe that it doesn't count,that mindset shifts don't count
as progress, or that youhaven't been taught how to
affirm yourself.
So we only feel like we'removing forward when we're

(01:32):
producing, performing andperfecting.
But let me free you today.
Becoming is still movement.
Let me say that again Becomingis still movement.
So I need you to get past thethinking that where you are
right now is not progress.

(01:53):
I need you to get out of yourmind, stop scrolling, looking at
what everyone else is doing andhave you in your mind thinking
that you have not achieved morethan you have.
Can I tell you that you are wayfurther than some people could
only fathom.
Yes, you may be in your mindand, yes, you may have all of

(02:15):
these goals, dreams and desiresthat you have and you feel like
that you are not making progress, even when you are tiptoeing.
But can I remind you that, as ababy, before we begin to fully
take off and walk withoutholding onto anything and then,

(02:36):
at that moment taking off to run, that there were moments that
we had to get our footing right,that we had to make sure that
we were okay before we took ourhands completely off and took
those first steps.
And for some of you all, thatis where you are and you're not
realizing that you just got upfrom crawling.

(02:56):
You're not realizing that thosetiptoeing steps are still
getting you to the place thatyou want to go to.
And I want to encourage youtoday do not allow someone else
to make you feel like that youshould be where you want to be
quicker, faster and in a hurry,because no one can walk this

(03:16):
path out except for you.
No one can push you any fasterthan you are ready to go, and
don't allow anyone to have youthinking that where you are
right now, you should be furtherthan so.
How do you actually get pastthe mindset that says that

(03:37):
you're not doing enough?
We're going to go ahead andtalk about it, because the first
thing that you're going to haveto do is name what you're
actually doing.
See, if you rested todayinstead of running yourself into

(04:00):
the ground, that counts.
If you chose not to text themback, that counts.
If you took one deep breathbefore speaking, friend, that
counts.
So start a discounts list.
I need you to write downsomething each day.
You would have dismissed before, because we are going to shift
the lens.
We are going to watch how thischanges the way that you look at
where you are.
The second thing that you'regoing to have to do is redefine

(04:22):
what progress means to you.
You're going to have to do isredefine what progress means to
you.
Progress doesn't always meanvisible results.
Sometimes it means unlearning,healing and reclaiming.
So you're going to have to askyourself what does progress look
like in this season of my life?
Because if you're in a healingseason, then showing up for
yourself is progress.

(04:42):
If you're in a building season,then making a plan and resting
before the sprint is progress.
Don't allow anyone to hurry youalong in your progress.
They don't know what you havebeen through.
They don't know where it isthat you are truly supposed to
be going, and just because tothem it seems like you should be

(05:06):
there faster, that might not beyour case.
You know you enough to know ifyou can push a little harder and
by all means, if you can thengo harder.
But if that is not the seasonthat you're in, you can slow
roll it and still be makingprogress.

(05:28):
The third thing that you'regoing to have to do is catch
comparison early.
See, comparison is subtle.
It sounds like I should befurther, but healing sounds like
I'm further than I was.
And if you're borrowing someoneelse's ruler to measure your
growth, return it.

(05:48):
You don't need it.
Number four speak to yourselflike you speak to others.
You affirm your friends forshowing up.
Now it's your turn to say itout loud I'm proud of me.
That was a big deal for me.
That counts.
You don't have to need theoutside applause to clap for

(06:12):
yourself Y'all.
Can I tell you how much Iencourage myself?
Can I tell you those times whenI may have been crying and I
had to wipe my face and stillpick up the phone and handle
business?
Can I tell you all of the timeswhen I just didn't feel like it
?
But that level of having toencourage myself if I knew that

(06:35):
I needed to get something hot todrink my favorite beverage, one
of my favorite beverages, iscoffee.
If I needed to get some coffeeto make myself feel a little
better, if I needed to take awalk just to get some fresh air,
whatever it was that I neededin the moment, just so that I
could continue with what it wasthat I was supposed to be doing.

(06:58):
Because sometimes you cannothave a complete meltdown.
When you got work to do, whenyou have people relying on you,
you have to continue to keeppressing in, through the tears,
through the hurt, through all ofthe things that people don't
know that are going on.

(07:19):
You have to keep pressingthrough sometimes, because just
when you may be going throughcertain things, some people just
can't handle it.
And then, after you've gonethrough it, then you're able to
have a conversation about it andpeople will be like, well, why
didn't you tell me?
Because I knew you couldn'thandle it.

(07:39):
Some weight is just heavy, someweight you're just going to
have to carry on your own.
But I promise you, whateverthat weight is that you have
been carrying, you are equippedto handle it.
You're just going to have toencourage yourself, in whatever
season this is that you're inNumber five.

(08:01):
I know this.
I said that sometimes the waitis for you, but then there are
going to be moments when you'regoing to have to let your
support circle reflect you backto yourself.
Be around people who can saygirl, that shift right there,
that's growth.
And if you don't have thosepeople yet, let this space be

(08:23):
that for you, let this podcastbe that for you.
This challenge if you all didn'trealize it and you've just been
completely under a rock I havebeen dropping gems in this
40-day challenge.
By the time you listen to this,we will be on day 22.
And guess what?

(08:46):
Every day, I'm giving yousomething to think about.
Not only am I giving yousomething to think about, I'm
giving you a journal prompt.
I'm giving you an affirmation,I am giving you homework because
what I'm realizing is thatthere is so much information out
here but not enough individualsactually doing the work.

(09:07):
And then you will come and say,well, no one's coming to help.
Can I tell you right now?
Nobody coming to save you.
You're going to have to saveyourself.
But this 40 day challenge, thatis not just for you, this is
for me too, because I realizedthat in a 40 day challenge, and

(09:33):
what it signifies that you comeout on the other side refined,
go do your homework.
Do some research on how 40appears in the Bible.
See what happens every timethere's something taking place
that revolves around the number40, you will be surprised.

(09:56):
I'm not going to give you theanswer, because I feel like now
is the time that you're going tohave to put in the work.
Now is not the time whereyou're just going to have things
handed to you.
You're going to have to go andfind it.
So get around people who willsupport you.

(10:18):
And if you don't have thatsupport, I'm here.
I've given you tools andresources that you can use along
this journey.
Number six stop using yoursurvival self as your standard.
The old you who hustled,overperformed and ignored her

(10:42):
own needs isn't the one youshould be measuring against.
The healed you, the softer you,the honest you, she's the one
becoming.
Let her lead.
I think about you, know, whenmy therapist would ask who's

(11:02):
driving my bus.
And when I say that is becausesometimes we go through
experience in our lives that wedon't heal from, and so when
things trigger us, we go back tothat age where that incident
happened.
And so if you're not in control, that eight-year-old, that

(11:27):
nine-year-old, that 15-year-old,although you may be, whatever
age you are, you revert back tothat age.
So who's driving your bus?
And when you realize who'sdriving your bus, you deal with
that girl.
You deal with her, you comforther, you let her know that it is

(11:49):
okay, heal from that space andallow this version of you to
leave.
There is no reason why 43 yearold Kiana should be in the back
of the bus.
43 year old Kiana should bedriving the bus.
So you have to begin to look atthings that way.

(12:10):
So, now that you understand howto get past that thinking, you
understand why people struggleto make it count.
Let me just give you a littlebit of encouragement.
So today, the truth is simpleyou don't need proof for your

(12:33):
progress to be valid.
For your progress to be valid,you just need to own it.
So I want you to journal whenhave I grown in ways no one else
sees.
What small step did I take thisweek that deserves my
recognition?
And then affirm this I amgrowing in ways the world can't

(12:58):
always see, but I feel it, andthat's enough.
So I just want to encourage youtoday.
I just want to let you knowthat where you are is enough,
and so here's what I want you todo this week Write down three

(13:21):
small things you've done thatyou wouldn't have done a year
ago.
Give them names, give themweight, honor them.
They don't have to be finished,they don't have to be loud,
they just have to be yours.
And remember that progressisn't always about the steps

(13:42):
forward.
Sometimes it's about thestrength it takes to stay.
Share this with a friend,someone else who is out there
who is questioning their quietwins too, and this might be what
brings them peace tonight.

(14:03):
Then I want you to follow the40 day authenticity challenge
and join me daily as we walkthings out Not perfectly, but
honestly.
And until next time, keepshowing up and keep choosing you
and never forget, even if noone claps, this still counts.