Beyond Breadcrumbs

The breadcrumbs we accept in life—those moments when we settle for less than we deserve—don't just appear on our plates. They infiltrate our spirits, leaving us with a subtle ache as we continuously accept "almost enough" and celebrate halfway love. When we keep telling ourselves to be grateful for what's clearly beneath our needs, we start to question our worth. Is this all we deserve? Is this just how life works for people like us?

This transformative conversation dives deep into both the external and internal dimensions of accepting crumbs. While it's easy to identify when others shortchange us, the more challenging work begins when we examine how we breadcrumb ourselves. From dismissing our mental health needs and postponing our dreams to undercharging for our work and overextending ourselves for others—these self-imposed limitations keep us surviving rather than thriving.

Using the powerful metaphor of a cup that can't be simultaneously filled and poured from, we explore practical steps to break free from the cycle of accepting less than we deserve. The journey involves calling out these patterns honestly, defining what fullness truly looks like for us, voicing our needs clearly, and committing to honor our own portion first. Through affirmations that remind us of our inherent worth and a call to write our own "portion list," we're challenged to move beyond mere survival toward the abundance we deserve. Because the truth remains: breadcrumbs might keep you alive, but they will never make you full. You weren't put on this earth to live on leftovers or beg for what already belongs to you. Ready to claim your seat at the full table?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yep, we're not even easing into today.
We're going to get straightthere, because breadcrumbs are
not my portion and they're notyours either.
Now, if you've been showing upfully loving, hard giving,
deeply praying and preparing,but somehow still walking away
with scraps, then this episodeis for you because, honestly, I

(00:23):
feel it.
I've been there and, if I'mbeing completely honest, there
are still some areas where I amworking on it.
And let me tell you less thanain't working anymore, and I
said ain't, and that's what Imeant.
See, here's what I've learnedthe crumbs don't just show up on
your plate, they show up inyour spirit.

(00:46):
They show up in that subtleache you feel.
When you keep accepting almost,when you keep celebrating
halfway love, when you keeptelling yourself to just be
grateful for the things that areclearly beneath what you need,
you start to question yourselfAm I the problem?
Is this just how it is forpeople like me?

(01:08):
Maybe this is all I'm going toget, but let me tell you
something Crumbs might keep youalive, but they will never make
you full.
So I need us to do a quickself-check just to see if you
have been accepting crumbs Now.

(01:30):
It may sting a little bit.
It's okay, because we're goingto clean you up, we're going to
get you together.
But I need you to be honest andask yourself these questions.
Do I leave conversations orconnections feeling more empty
than full?
I see you.
Am I always the one reachingout, checking in, giving more?

(01:50):
Yeah, I feel it.
Do I settle because startingover feels too hard or too scary
, and have I ever pretendedsomething was enough just to
avoid rocking the boat?
Now, if you've been honest andyour answer is yes, don't shame

(02:12):
yourself.
Just don't stay there, becausesurvival isn't the same thing as
being fed.
So let's go ahead and flip themirror real quick, because some
people are all for crumbs.
But let's be real.
Some of us accepted them.
Some of us set the table forcrumbs and called it loyalty.

(02:37):
Did you speak up?
Did you clearly say what youneeded or did you smile through
being overlooked, hoping theyfigure it out?
So you can't keep being mad atwhat you're allowing and you
can't call it alignment whenit's really just fear in a fancy

(02:57):
outfit.
So when I say breadcrumbs areno longer my portion, here's
what I know my portion is and Ipray it helps you to define
yours.
See, my portion is peace.
That doesn't require me topretend.
My portion is love that'srooted, not just convenient.

(03:18):
My portion is joy that doesn'task me to dim my light.
My portion is rooms where Idon't have to shrink to fit.
My portion is reciprocity,wholeness and ease.
And listen, listen, listen,listen, listen.
If the table I'm sitting atdoesn't serve that, I'll get up.
No drama, no announcement, justmovement.

(03:41):
So where are you breadcrumbingyourself?
Yep, we're going there, becauseif we're being real real it's
not always someone else that'shanding us the scrap.
Sometimes we breadcrumbourselves.
So we're going to talk about it.
Those quiet places One could beyour mental health you keep

(04:07):
pushing through.
When you're exhausted, youdismiss your own pain because
you've survived.
Worse, you tell yourself I'mfine when you're clearly not.
That's a crumb.
Your dreams you light up whenyou talk about the idea, but you

(04:28):
never act on it.
You pour into everyone else'svision and put yourself and
yours on the back burner.
You keep saying one day whenyou really mean I'm scared,
that's a crumb.
Your money you undercharge.

(04:49):
You avoid your finances.
You celebrate crumbs becauseyou're too afraid to ask for
overflow.
That's a crumb.
Your time you show up foreverybody else's needs while
your own keep gettingrescheduled.
You don't rest, you crash.

(05:11):
That's a crumb.
Let's talk about your self-worth.
You avoid visibility.
You wait to feel worthy beforeshowing up fully.
That's a crumb.
So, yes, we're calling outothers, but, baby, let me tell
you something we're calling outourselves too, because you can't

(05:34):
build a full life while feedingyourself in pieces.
So I know you're asking andyou're trying to figure out well
, how do I stop accepting crumbsfrom anyone else?
And that includes you.
The first thing I need you todo is call it out.

(05:55):
Stop romanticizing lack.
Name it for what it is.
Number two get crystal clearwhat this fool look like for you
.
Write it down, don't be vague,be bold.
Number three speak it out loud.

(06:16):
People can't honor what you'venever voiced, and that includes
you.
Why?
Because you are with you allday long and closed mouths stay
hungry.
Number four honor your ownportion first.
You want others to pour intoyou.

(06:39):
Start by refusing to pour lastinto yourself.
See, we oftentimes hear you knowwe're supposed to operate from
the overflow, and that means youare not pouring from a cup.
They are getting what is beingoverflowed.
What is coming out of the cuponce it has already run over is

(07:04):
what they get, not?
You still trying to fill yourcup up and pour at the same time
.
How do you expect it to everget full?
So just close your eyes ifyou're not driving and imagine
that.
Imagine you are holding a cupand you're pouring water into

(07:26):
the cup.
As you are still trying to pourout of the same cup that you
are pouring water into, it willnever be full, so they get the
overflow, not what's beingpoured in, and you're pouring
out of a cup that was never full.

(07:47):
So I need you to alwaysenvision that.
Have that at the forefront ofyour mind when you're thinking
about doing something extra,trying to give something to
someone when you don't have it.
That's like you trying to swipeyour card when you know that
there is no money in it.

(08:08):
It is going to be declined.
The same thing happens when weare trying to pour out of a cup
that is not sufficiently full,but it's okay, because we are
going to get there.
We are going to get to a placewhere we begin to recognize not

(08:31):
just how other people show up inour lives, but how we can make
sure that we are holdingourselves accountable, because
sometimes the breadcrumbs wehave been accepting them,
because we feel like that that'sall we desire, that's all we're
going to get, and so we'll takeit and then be pissed off and
mad when that's all that we have, but not recognizing that you

(08:56):
agreed to it.
You said that it was okay.
So the next time that you decide, or getting ready to decide,
that this is what you're goingto accept, remember what we just
talked about.
Have that vision in front ofyou of you trying to pour out of

(09:17):
a cup that you are pouring,still pouring into.
Or think about that car thatyou're trying to swipe that has
no money on it.
You can't purchase it withoutthe money being there.
There isn't sufficient funds.
Same thing applies.
So we're going to affirm whatit is that we want, need and

(09:41):
desire in our lives.
Need and desire in our lives.
The first one I no longer shrinkto keep the peace.
I am no longer available forscraps.
I do not resent others for whatI stayed silent about.
I know what fullness looks likeand I walk like it belongs to

(10:06):
me.
Breadcrumbs are not my portion.
I am made for more and Ireceive it.
So listen to me and listen tome clearly.
I don't know who told you thatjust being seen was enough, that

(10:29):
your job was to love othersthrough their dysfunction and
hope they eventually reciprocate, that your needs were optional,
that your voice was too much,that being almost chosen was
better than being alone.
But I'm telling you today youare not here to live on

(10:51):
leftovers.
You are not here to eat inshame.
You are not here to beg forwhat already belongs to you.
Say it with me Breadcrumbs arenot my portion.
I didn't hear you.
Breadcrumbs are not my portion.

(11:14):
One more time Breadcrumbs arenot my portion.
And if you've beenbreadcrumbing yourself, and if
you've been breadcrumbingyourself, no shame, just truth,
just change.
So my homework for you thisweek is to write your portion

(11:34):
list.
What does real love, real peace, real value look like for you?
Identify where you've beensettling externally and
internally.
Then I need you to speak yourneeds and then guess what, move

(11:58):
accordingly.
You don't need permission, youneed clarity.
No more crumbs.