February 11, 2025 • 27 mins
What if the very change we fear could be the catalyst for personal growth and transformation? Join me, Marilisa Lawless, alongside my insightful guest Marilisa, as we navigate the tangled web of change and anxiety, exploring how these forces shape our lives. We reflect on the seemingly effortless adaptability of childhood and the restrictive societal structures that amplify anxiety in adulthood. Through the lens of personal stories, including my journey of seeking a new space after 35 years, we unravel the power of perspective in transforming challenges into opportunities. Amid the backdrop of current global events, we stress the critical role of self-love and kindness as tools to manage stress and foster resilience.
Our conversation takes a hopeful turn as we discuss my exciting quest to find the perfect property for business expansion in Davie. With dreams of creating a multifunctional space featuring a meditation labyrinth, classrooms, and a retail store, I share the joys and frustrations of the search. The support from friends, family, and my dedicated realtor, Leah Lonnie, shines through as a beacon of strength. We delve into the significance of addressing personal triggers, harnessing energy, and prioritizing self-care, wrapping up with the empowering belief that our own well-being is the foundation for supporting others. Embrace love and kindness as your guiding principles and discover how presence and creativity can lead to meaningful change and healing.
Explore our wide range of organic products here: https://www.hempdelsoul.com/ or email us at HempDelSoul@gmail.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let's go.
Welcome to the Hemp Del Solpodcast.
All health, no high.
Here's your host, Mary LisaLawless.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello, hello everyone and welcome, we are back.
Can you hear me now?
I hope you can hear me, maryLisa.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Oh, I can, I can hear you now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And you can see me, it's so funny.
We were going to talk todayabout change and anxiety.
There's a lot going on rightnow and we were having some
technical difficulties, almoston cue from the universe, to
deal with change and anxiety.
So here we are, Marilisa alwaysa pleasure to see you Excited
to get into this topic for today.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Are you ready?
I'm ready, let's roll.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So hopefully this goes off without a hitch and we
have no more glitches, but if wedo, we will roll with the
changes, because that's what wedo.
Yes, I want to ask you thisquestion because this is
something as I've gone throughmy spiritual journey and I've
become more and more aware like.
Hyper-awareness is phenomenalin many ways, but also it can
(01:12):
make for more anxiety and moredifficulties processing things,
because you're so aware ofeverything and things come up.
And why is change so difficultto deal with?
We all know that in most caseswhen we have a difficult thing
to deal with and we need to gothrough a process of change, it
(01:32):
usually works out.
On the other side it usuallyturns out well, but there's so
much resistance to it.
You often get triggered fromthese experiences.
Why do you feel it's sodifficult to change in life?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Change is inevitable.
There's nothing that's stagnant.
Ever, ever, ever.
And what I would tell myclients is that if change were
easy, everybody would do it.
It is really interestingbecause when we're born, we're
so accustomed to change, we justsort of flow.
(02:09):
You just go, and then the, the,the adults in our lives are the
one that set up these boundariesand these restrictions about
how we flow and how changeoccurs, and it is quite
interesting that change issomething that creates so much
anxiety in us, and I can tellyou I'm in this place of anxiety
(02:34):
right now.
Even though I understand change, I move through it a lot
quicker than I did when I wasyounger.
I realized yesterday I'mactually really stressed out.
I get stressed out with thenews and the changes that are
going on.
I don't watch the news, butI'll listen to NPR and get
(02:56):
highlights in the morning andthen I'm done for the day.
However, there's so much goingon in the world and it is really
challenging to say no.
In my little world, right here,I'm safe, I have a roof over my
head, I have food, my life isokay, I am safe.
(03:21):
Many people in the world cannotsay that right now.
Yeah we are very blessed andvery fortunate for what we have,
absolutely we are we are, anddespite the chaos that's going
on around us on a global level,the only thing that I have to
offer the world at this point islove and kindness.
(03:43):
The world at this point is loveand kindness, and so what I've
learned for myself, and continueto learn on a regular basis, is
that that love and kindnessalso has to be directed towards
myself, and sometimes that'smore of a challenge.
So I'm a giver in general, soit's easier for me to do for
other people, and it hasdefinitely been a process to
(04:06):
learn how to do more and morefor myself and to not feel
selfish, that I'm actually justloving myself and taking care of
myself.
So, for instance, what's goingon right now is that I have been
in this location, this awesomelocation, for almost 35 years,
and I found out last week thatthe building has been sold to
(04:28):
the town and that somebody saidwell, can you rent it from the
town?
Well, the town is leveling thebuilding because it's really old
.
It really doesn't need a lot ofwork.
I mean, the water that comesout of our pipes is orange you
know the cast iron pipes, whichmeans there's rust, whatnot.
I mean, I've been here a longtime.
(04:48):
So there's a lot of changes thatneed to happen.
Just for upkeep, and it wasmore beneficial for the landlord
to sell the building to thetown.
The town is leveling thebuilding, they're going to raise
the building, so I must find anew home and because I've not
had to do this for over 30 years, I am discovering that my
(05:11):
anxiety is quite high becauseI've created this little niche
here where I've got my offices.
I have all these alternativehealing practices that go on
here and these different kindsof groups reiki circles, angel
healing, mediumship classes andmedia.
You know I have all of thesedifferent activities going on
(05:33):
here and I have a retail storewhere I'm selling all of these
crystals and the cbd productsand these things to help with
anxiety and the different stuffthat's going on in the world.
Yes, so my little world hasgotten a little chaotic and it's
(05:56):
a little bit overwhelming.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
It's okay to shake things up from time to time
though.
Yes yes, I mean, if you thinkabout it, it though a lot of
this stuff.
It's all a matter ofperspective, right, it comes
back to the stories you tellyourself and when, and it's
easier said than done, but I'mtrying to train my mind.
When I encounter difficultsituations and situations such
as yours, you could look at itone of two ways, really, right,
(06:20):
you can get overwhelmed and getfearful of everything and start
thinking about all the thingsthat you need to do.
I need to find a new place, Ineed to move, I need to do this,
this, this and that or youcould just look at it from the
lens of like this is what I'vebeen given by the universe, and
this is an opportunity forgrowth and to get better and to
(06:40):
make the best out of thesituation.
And you can.
Really, it just depends on whatlens you look at it through.
And if you look at it throughthat lens and you do that with
all situations like, thedestination is going to be the
destination right At the end,we're all going to arrive.
Where we arrive, you might aswell enjoy the ride along the
way, cause I'll argue to saythat if you enjoy the ride, the
destination is going to bebetter because you're going to
be at a better mindset along theway.
(07:01):
If you're stressed out andworried and you're not going to
make good decisions, you'regoing to be overwhelmed all the
time.
You're going to be miserablegetting to that destination,
right?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
So you might as well enjoy the ride and you'll be
better off at the end.
So I'm trying to enjoy the ride.
I have needed a little bit ofhelp from my friend CBD, the new
CBD, their new CBD gummiescalled peaceful mind.
Oh, I got the bag backwards.
Peaceful mind, peaceful my home.
So I've needed a little help.
(07:34):
So I've been taking one ofthese in the morning for the
past, you know, the past weekand with a little help, it's my
friend, you know so, and onoccasion I will need one from my
other friend, the sleep gummy.
So it's knowing what I need todo to take care of myself and
(07:58):
that whole process of lookingfor a new home, because I
consider this a second home, oflooking for a new home because I
consider this a second home.
This is where I come for my ownsense of peace and serenity.
When I leave my home, myphysical home, I come here to my
second home, which is my office, and this is a place that it
(08:19):
was my mom, my sister and I thatstarted this in 1991.
Right, and we have been in thesame location since then.
So this is a huge opportunityand I do agree that it's an
opportunity to truly see whatelse we can do.
My ideal, and what I'm trying toput out to the universe, is
(08:40):
that I want to buy.
We want to buy a singlestanding structure where we can
create a labyrinth formeditation in the back, where we
have rooms for classes and allof the things that we do here,
and can also have the littleretail store in the front.
And while I understand thatwe've been growing the retail
(09:03):
store and adding more and moreproducts, because I really like
buying crystals and then likesharing them and selling them,
as well as the CBD products.
It's an opportunity to trulysee how flexible can I be.
(09:23):
Some of the places that I havelooked at so far are not
suitable for me.
One is do you know the area offof Griffin, at Uncle Al's?
There's a furniture store inthat little strip mall that's
leaving and they said look atthis place and it is just a
retail store, but I don't thinkhaving a therapy, although that
(09:46):
could be interesting, having atherapy center location next to
a bar, my God, maybe not.
It might not be the best placeto have a therapy center, but on
the other hand, it might be areally good place to have, you
know, a mental health facilityyou know so hard.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Have you looked at the build?
Have you looked at the waterbuilding on Griffin?
It's on Griffin, between Palmand Hiatus.
I'm trying to think I'll haveto get you the details of that
building.
There's a bunch of offices.
It's a very, very I think Iknow the one.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
It's like three stories high.
It's really thin looking Pondsand nature nature.
It's like a perfect place for Iactually thought about it last
night when I couldn't sleep, Iwas thinking where could we go
with an office and where couldwe?
And I was like I wonder if thatwould be, and I and actually
thought about that particularbuilding um, definitely so, it's
(10:47):
interesting.
My mind is a little bit onoverload.
I texted my son last night andI'm like don't ever rent
anywhere, Buy, buy land, buyproperty.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Don't pay somebody else's mortgage, pay yourself.
Yes, it's an opportunity.
Mary Lisa, right it?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
absolutely, is You're going to?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
find the perfect property, you're going to buy
that property and then you'llstart paying yourself instead of
somebody else.
Absolutely Blossom intosomething beautiful.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, and I really want to stay in Davie.
Davie has been my physical home.
I grew up in plantation inDavie.
My first I was thinking aboutit in Davie, I was thinking
about it.
This thing that I'm doing withthe town next month is
interesting because I have tocome up with a biography and my
history and I know that I'vebeen here for over 30 years.
(11:40):
And yet I was also rememberingwhen I was a teenager.
One of my first jobs was at theuniverse, what's now the Whole
Foods Plaza.
There was a Kmart in there andthe Stoll Strip Mall stores and
it was a clothing store calledCan't Miss Clothing Store.
It was a girls, women'sclothing and I worked there.
(12:02):
So, like as a teenager, I wasworking in Davie and my first
apartments were in Davie.
You know the one of them is noteven an apartment building
anymore the crosswind.
You know the car used to say wewere going to do the crosswind
chronicles because it was somuch drama all the time every
weekend, and my next apartmentwas the College Square
(12:27):
Apartments apartments, which ison the other side of davy road.
I've been here in davy a reallylong time.
I've been in florida since 1974.
We've been.
You know I went to southplantation high school.
There's so many things that areabout being in this area, so I
truly do want to stay in thisarea and I have asked our mutual
(12:50):
friend Leah Lonnie, the realtor, to help me find a place.
And she's awesome she really is.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I mean, I'm so grateful to have her in my life.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I'm so grateful to have her in my life and I know
she does the podcast with you aswell, and yeah, so there are a
lot of good things.
I've got support.
I've got people that areholding my hand and saying we're
going to get through this and,um, I just keep going along
trying to let clients know,because clients don't always
(13:22):
handle change.
Well, you know me as a mentalhealth professional.
I'm aware of my own challengeswith handling stress and
handling change, and I movethrough things pretty quickly,
but I still experience them.
I just don't hang on to them.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
My clients are here for a reason.
My clients are here for areason, and so I've had to start
letting each one know I'mmoving.
By May We'll be in a newbuilding.
So, as of yesterday, the 90days started.
So we were given 90 days notice.
Tiktok, tiktok, tiktok.
(13:59):
So a deadline.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
On the clock, Marilisa.
Well you're welcome.
We're happy to have you inCooper City.
I know you want to stay inDavie, but come on Cooper City,
it's a sister city.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Come on into the fold , come in, let's go, let's go.
Well, I'm halfway there withthe chamber, because it's the
davy cooper city chamber, and wewill be in cooper city this
month.
Next week we'll be in coopercity for our uh monthly luncheon
.
So there's, there's a lot ofdifferent.
There's just a lot of differentthings going on, and trying to
figure out what direction is upsometimes can be a challenge,
(14:35):
and that's when I know, when Iknow I need to reach out.
I've reached out to my twoclosest friends, I've reached
out to family.
I have support, I know where togo to get my needs met, and
that's the piece that's reallyimportant for people when
they're dealing with anxiety ordealing with change is know
where the resources are.
So even with me, with the CBD,you know it's like I know that I
(14:59):
have that as a resource, soit's something that I can use as
a supplement to help me throughanything that feels a little
bit over the top for me, whichright now, this is a little over
the top for me.
It's not a crisis, it's notmajor.
Nobody's being injured.
It's just change, and change isreally difficult for many, many
(15:19):
people.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Indeed, it's so funny because we've been taught from
early on that you need to createhabits and routines in your
life, and you do right.
You need to program your mind.
You need to do whether it'sexercising, whether it's having
the right diet, your mentalattitude you need to do these
things and you need to implementthese into your life in small
(15:43):
doses, and what that does is itcreates a situation where, when
you do need to change, there's alot of resistance there,
because now you have thesethings programmed in your mind
and you're used to doing thesame thing over and over, and,
over and over again, which doeslead to success in many cases,
but then all of a sudden, youneed to make a big change and
it's like your world comes down.
So you have to have tools todeal with all that.
So you talked about some of thetools that you use with the
(16:07):
CBDs and some of these things,which really are just tools,
right, because you don't want touse it as a crutch.
Let's talk about some of thelike more of the holistic type
tools that people can use likereal life.
It's one of the things for methat works really, really well
when I'm going through adifficult time whether it's a
(16:28):
big thing coming up or even justa stressor, whatever it is is
going back to the breath, likebreath work.
It's something that you can do.
You could be sitting behindyour desk and get a bad email
and then you get triggered andyou could just take 30 seconds,
60 seconds, and just step awayand take a few deep breaths and
just oxygenate your system andit just kind of centers you and
(16:49):
you get back to it and it's justbeing aware of that.
Right, it's how you react tothe thing that comes up.
Right, you can either let itdrown you and take a hold of you
and pull you down and ruin yourday, right?
Or you could recognize it forwhat it is.
It's just a thought, it's goingto go away and you can do
something to distract yourselffrom that thought.
Not to say don't feel theemotion, right.
And you can do something todistract yourself from that
(17:12):
thought, not to say don't feelthe emotion right, feel it, but
don't let it consume.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
you Feel it and let it go Correct Right, and when
you start getting in the habitof feeling that and I do that
for myself, I do that for myself.
Every morning, I go out and sitin my backyard where it's just.
I'm looking at the water, Ifocus on my breath, I listen to
the birds.
I listen to the birds.
I try to figure out what is theconversation going on between
the blue jays and themockingbirds.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
the cardinals that are coming in Try to have
anxiety while you're focusing onthe birds and trying to
decipher what the conversationis that they're having.
It's nearly impossible, right?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
You're just so clear with nature at that point it is
very helpful.
But the breath meditation,having that opportunity, even
when I'm triggered, I tellpeople you know I do this, but I
tell people three deep breathswill shift how you feel in that
moment.
And you're right, I call itbeing hijacked.
So when I get this informationand it's like I feel like I'm
(18:08):
being hijacked emotionally, Iknow that I need to take a
couple of deep breaths and ifthat's still not enough, I phone
a friend, I call out, I'll textsomebody.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Use a lifeline right Phone a friend.
Use a lifeline, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
All of these, all of these are tools.
So the getting out and theother thing that I do is I will
go stand barefoot outside, noton asphalt.
I'll stand on concrete, grass,dirt, sand, whatever I can find
at the moment at this place,right here.
It's the concrete, and concretewill still allow you to feel
grounded.
I go out barefoot and I look atthe sun.
(18:50):
I just close my eyes and Istare up at the sun and focus on
my breath, and I do.
I do that multiple times a day,every single day.
That's just part of what I do.
Um, for grounding, and there'sso many ways to ground yourself.
So that's one way.
Another way is the breathing.
Another way is to just listento music that you feel like
(19:14):
singing to.
Exercise Exercise, taking a walk.
There are a lot of tools.
If you've got the opportunity,take a sea salt bath.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I prefer ice baths, sea salt is actually really good
.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I know you like the ice baths.
I'm just not a fan of cold.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I haven't done one in a while.
The last one I did a couple ofmonths ago at the full moon
gathering it was.
It was intensely shocking to mysystem and I haven't done one
since then and I used to takecold showers all the time and
I've kind of stepped away fromthat.
I I'm trying to get back intoit and it's like the shock to my
system all over again.
Uh, that definitely takes,definitely takes some.
You never get fully used to it,but it definitely.
It gets a little bit better.
(19:53):
So there's some resistance tothat.
So it's coming.
We're doing an ice bath soon.
I'm starting to talk about itmore.
I need more ice baths in mylife.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah, and, and the sea salt baths are are also very
detoxifying.
And when you are surrounded orfrom people complaining and I'm
not talking about clients it'sactually really easy for me to
hear clients I'm in a differentmode and I stay in this mentally
(20:22):
safe space where I can hear andprocess, but I don't absorb.
When I am out in the world, Idon't always stay that protected
and I absorb more.
So it's nice to just be able togo back to my sanctuary, which
is my home, and take a sea saltbath, go, sit up back with a cup
(20:43):
of hot tea, just sit andmeditate and focus on my breath,
just trying to figure out whichway do I need to go right now?
What do I need to do to takecare of myself right now?
And that is sort of thequestion of the day for all of
us what do I need to do to takecare of myself in this moment
(21:08):
and move forward?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Even with us.
When we started today with thetechnical difficulties, have you
noticed that we haven't had anynow?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It always works out for the best.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Always does it does.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's so funny.
We were talking about triggersand how you, how you choose to
frame things that come up.
I'm starting to.
I'm not quite quite there.
It's a, it's a process, but I'mstarting to look at the
triggers that come up and thethings that that really make my
blood boil as an opportunity forgrowth, because that's really
what it is right.
Most of the time when a triggercomes up, it's basically
(21:44):
something within yourself thatyou need to work on, and the
resistance is you don't want towork on it because it requires
change and it requires pain.
It requires all that ugly stuffthat we don't like to deal with
, and so we have these triggersthat come up.
That basically frees you fromdealing with the issue, and then
you compartmentalize, you putit away.
So I'm starting to look atthese triggers like, oh, why is
that coming up?
(22:04):
And then you just engage it andtry to have a dialogue with the
thing, the emotion that comesup, like you get angry at
something.
Why is that happening?
And really sit with that andtry to figure out what's coming
up right now and more often thannot, again, it's something
within yourself that you need towork on, whether it's to apply
love to that thing or you needto implement new things,
whatever it is.
But again, it's all about themindset and how you frame these
(22:25):
things.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
And to understand that energy is real and it
exists.
I have a really good example ofhow crystals are very helpful.
So I had an event this pastweekend where I was out and I'm
around a lot of people and therewas a lot of negativity going
on and, because I was already ata heightened stress level, the
(22:47):
negativity was like just stayaway.
So what I was wearing wastourmaline.
Black tourmaline is known toblock negative energy, so I'm
wearing a necklace made out ofblack tourmaline.
It is so stressful where I'm atand I finally, you know, go
through all of this insanity andget myself back to center and,
(23:09):
as I'm standing at my table,finally everything is calm.
I've gotten the situationhandled.
The tourmaline exploded, itwent and I was like what just
happened?
The tourmaline apparently hadabsorbed so much negative energy
(23:30):
it's like I'm out.
It was so weird.
I was like there was a stumpleft on my necklace.
I was like there was a stumpleft on my necklace.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I was like like, like if you, if you would have told,
told me that, like if I didn'tknow you and you just told me
that story, like five, six yearsago, I'd be like what?
That's crazy.
That's not a thing, it's badyou have to do some
editing.
I got it.
It's so fun, it's so funny.
Yeah, like we're talking, we'rehaving a conversation on here
(24:00):
and as soon as you left and itwas just me now I'm looking at
myself in the camera You're nothere anymore and I'm just like.
I'm like, oh, let me just keeptalking.
And I feel like I'm talking tomyself like a crazy person.
I'm like what do I talk about?
Marilisa Lisa's not here.
Let's just close this one out.
Thanks everyone for joiningwhen you popped in.
It's so funny how we get in ourown heads what's the difference
(24:25):
between you being here and thenyou leaving.
Why do you have to be here forme to talk to the camera?
It's so difficult for people.
And it happens also when I playmusic.
As soon as I hit record, likeI'll play and I'll sing
something, I'm like, wow, thatsounds great.
And then I'm like, let merecord that.
And I go and I get the thingand I hit record and I don't
play it right.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
The singing is wrong.
Like what is that?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It's that anxiety, it's that expectation of trying
to.
That's a deep one.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
It's an opportunity to understand that sometimes we
just need to be present.
Yes, not worry about a goodphotograph or a good recording,
but that moment was incredible.
It was an awesome experience.
I'm so amazed that I had thecapacity to think that, to write
(25:12):
that, to sing that, to yeah, tocreate, because we do create.
Our life is about perspective,you know, and our perceptions
are what change our perspectives, and all we've got right now is
to be kind and loving and justkeep taking care of ourselves.
(25:33):
My mom used to end every singlesession with a client with take
care of ourselves.
My mom used to end every singlesession with a client with take
care of yourself.
We had it written on a board,on a dry erase board.
After she passed For years, itwas still sitting there Take
care of yourself.
And that's what it is at theend of the day Take care of
yourself.
And not a selfish.
It's not a selfish intention.
(25:54):
It really is a self-focusedintention.
It's not a selfish intention.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
It really is a self-focused intention.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
And if we do everything with kindness and
with love we feel better aboutthe end of the day.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yep, and that's all that matters.
You can't show up properly forothers if you don't take care of
yourself.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Exactly, exactly, and we have this tendency, as human
beings, to beat ourselves upExactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Why would you tell yourself you suck if you do
something like oh you're so yousuck.
It's so counterproductive.
Like no we're great ateverything we do.
We are.
Everything is a learningopportunity.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Everything is a learning opportunity.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, all right, well, let's,let's leave it at that.
Yes, with some mild technicalissues, but we did well.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yes, and you're amazing at editing, so you'll
figure it all out, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Piece of cake.
Piece of cake.
All right, everyone.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We are so happy to see you herewith us on this journey and we
look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
And remember there are many opportunities for
healing the next opportunity isjust around the corner.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Let's go all right, everyone, take care, stay
blessed out there.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
We love you all thank you for listening to the
hempemp Del Sol podcast.
Explore our wide range oforganic products at
hempdelsolcom.
That's H-E-M-P-D-E-L-S-O-U-Lcomor contact 954-854-1039.
All right, let's go.
Welcome to the Hemp Del Solpodcast.
All health, no high.
Here's your host, Mary LisaLawless.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello, hello everyone and welcome, we are back.
Can you hear me now?
I hope you can hear me, maryLisa.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Oh, I can, I can hear you now.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And you can see me, it's so funny.
We were going to talk todayabout change and anxiety.
There's a lot going on rightnow and we were having some
technical difficulties, almoston cue from the universe, to
deal with change and anxiety.
So here we are, Marilisa alwaysa pleasure to see you Excited
to get into this topic for today.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Are you ready?
I'm ready, let's roll.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So hopefully this goes off without a hitch and we
have no more glitches, but if wedo, we will roll with the
changes, because that's what wedo.
Yes, I want to ask you thisquestion because this is
something as I've gone throughmy spiritual journey and I've
become more and more aware like.
Hyper-awareness is phenomenalin many ways, but also it can
(01:12):
make for more anxiety and moredifficulties processing things,
because you're so aware ofeverything and things come up.
And why is change so difficultto deal with?
We all know that in most caseswhen we have a difficult thing
to deal with and we need to gothrough a process of change, it
(01:32):
usually works out.
On the other side it usuallyturns out well, but there's so
much resistance to it.
You often get triggered fromthese experiences.
Why do you feel it's sodifficult to change in life?
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Change is inevitable.
There's nothing that's stagnant.
Ever, ever, ever.
And what I would tell myclients is that if change were
easy, everybody would do it.
It is really interestingbecause when we're born, we're
so accustomed to change, we justsort of flow.
(02:09):
You just go, and then the, the,the adults in our lives are the
one that set up these boundariesand these restrictions about
how we flow and how changeoccurs, and it is quite
interesting that change issomething that creates so much
anxiety in us, and I can tellyou I'm in this place of anxiety
(02:34):
right now.
Even though I understand change, I move through it a lot
quicker than I did when I wasyounger.
I realized yesterday I'mactually really stressed out.
I get stressed out with thenews and the changes that are
going on.
I don't watch the news, butI'll listen to NPR and get
(02:56):
highlights in the morning andthen I'm done for the day.
However, there's so much goingon in the world and it is really
challenging to say no.
In my little world, right here,I'm safe, I have a roof over my
head, I have food, my life isokay, I am safe.
(03:21):
Many people in the world cannotsay that right now.
Yeah we are very blessed andvery fortunate for what we have,
absolutely we are we are, anddespite the chaos that's going
on around us on a global level,the only thing that I have to
offer the world at this point islove and kindness.
(03:43):
The world at this point is loveand kindness, and so what I've
learned for myself, and continueto learn on a regular basis, is
that that love and kindnessalso has to be directed towards
myself, and sometimes that'smore of a challenge.
So I'm a giver in general, soit's easier for me to do for
other people, and it hasdefinitely been a process to
(04:06):
learn how to do more and morefor myself and to not feel
selfish, that I'm actually justloving myself and taking care of
myself.
So, for instance, what's goingon right now is that I have been
in this location, this awesomelocation, for almost 35 years,
and I found out last week thatthe building has been sold to
(04:28):
the town and that somebody saidwell, can you rent it from the
town?
Well, the town is leveling thebuilding because it's really old
.
It really doesn't need a lot ofwork.
I mean, the water that comesout of our pipes is orange you
know the cast iron pipes, whichmeans there's rust, whatnot.
I mean, I've been here a longtime.
(04:48):
So there's a lot of changes thatneed to happen.
Just for upkeep, and it wasmore beneficial for the landlord
to sell the building to thetown.
The town is leveling thebuilding, they're going to raise
the building, so I must find anew home and because I've not
had to do this for over 30 years, I am discovering that my
(05:11):
anxiety is quite high becauseI've created this little niche
here where I've got my offices.
I have all these alternativehealing practices that go on
here and these different kindsof groups reiki circles, angel
healing, mediumship classes andmedia.
You know I have all of thesedifferent activities going on
(05:33):
here and I have a retail storewhere I'm selling all of these
crystals and the cbd productsand these things to help with
anxiety and the different stuffthat's going on in the world.
Yes, so my little world hasgotten a little chaotic and it's
(05:56):
a little bit overwhelming.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
It's okay to shake things up from time to time
though.
Yes yes, I mean, if you thinkabout it, it though a lot of
this stuff.
It's all a matter ofperspective, right, it comes
back to the stories you tellyourself and when, and it's
easier said than done, but I'mtrying to train my mind.
When I encounter difficultsituations and situations such
as yours, you could look at itone of two ways, really, right,
(06:20):
you can get overwhelmed and getfearful of everything and start
thinking about all the thingsthat you need to do.
I need to find a new place, Ineed to move, I need to do this,
this, this and that or youcould just look at it from the
lens of like this is what I'vebeen given by the universe, and
this is an opportunity forgrowth and to get better and to
(06:40):
make the best out of thesituation.
And you can.
Really, it just depends on whatlens you look at it through.
And if you look at it throughthat lens and you do that with
all situations like, thedestination is going to be the
destination right At the end,we're all going to arrive.
Where we arrive, you might aswell enjoy the ride along the
way, cause I'll argue to saythat if you enjoy the ride, the
destination is going to bebetter because you're going to
be at a better mindset along theway.
(07:01):
If you're stressed out andworried and you're not going to
make good decisions, you'regoing to be overwhelmed all the
time.
You're going to be miserablegetting to that destination,
right?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
So you might as well enjoy the ride and you'll be
better off at the end.
So I'm trying to enjoy the ride.
I have needed a little bit ofhelp from my friend CBD, the new
CBD, their new CBD gummiescalled peaceful mind.
Oh, I got the bag backwards.
Peaceful mind, peaceful my home.
So I've needed a little help.
(07:34):
So I've been taking one ofthese in the morning for the
past, you know, the past weekand with a little help, it's my
friend, you know so, and onoccasion I will need one from my
other friend, the sleep gummy.
So it's knowing what I need todo to take care of myself and
(07:58):
that whole process of lookingfor a new home, because I
consider this a second home, oflooking for a new home because I
consider this a second home.
This is where I come for my ownsense of peace and serenity.
When I leave my home, myphysical home, I come here to my
second home, which is my office, and this is a place that it
(08:19):
was my mom, my sister and I thatstarted this in 1991.
Right, and we have been in thesame location since then.
So this is a huge opportunityand I do agree that it's an
opportunity to truly see whatelse we can do.
My ideal, and what I'm trying toput out to the universe, is
(08:40):
that I want to buy.
We want to buy a singlestanding structure where we can
create a labyrinth formeditation in the back, where we
have rooms for classes and allof the things that we do here,
and can also have the littleretail store in the front.
And while I understand thatwe've been growing the retail
(09:03):
store and adding more and moreproducts, because I really like
buying crystals and then likesharing them and selling them,
as well as the CBD products.
It's an opportunity to trulysee how flexible can I be.
(09:23):
Some of the places that I havelooked at so far are not
suitable for me.
One is do you know the area offof Griffin, at Uncle Al's?
There's a furniture store inthat little strip mall that's
leaving and they said look atthis place and it is just a
retail store, but I don't thinkhaving a therapy, although that
(09:46):
could be interesting, having atherapy center location next to
a bar, my God, maybe not.
It might not be the best placeto have a therapy center, but on
the other hand, it might be areally good place to have, you
know, a mental health facilityyou know so hard.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Have you looked at the build?
Have you looked at the waterbuilding on Griffin?
It's on Griffin, between Palmand Hiatus.
I'm trying to think I'll haveto get you the details of that
building.
There's a bunch of offices.
It's a very, very I think Iknow the one.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
It's like three stories high.
It's really thin looking Pondsand nature nature.
It's like a perfect place for Iactually thought about it last
night when I couldn't sleep, Iwas thinking where could we go
with an office and where couldwe?
And I was like I wonder if thatwould be, and I and actually
thought about that particularbuilding um, definitely so, it's
(10:47):
interesting.
My mind is a little bit onoverload.
I texted my son last night andI'm like don't ever rent
anywhere, Buy, buy land, buyproperty.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Don't pay somebody else's mortgage, pay yourself.
Yes, it's an opportunity.
Mary Lisa, right it?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
absolutely, is You're going to?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
find the perfect property, you're going to buy
that property and then you'llstart paying yourself instead of
somebody else.
Absolutely Blossom intosomething beautiful.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, and I really want to stay in Davie.
Davie has been my physical home.
I grew up in plantation inDavie.
My first I was thinking aboutit in Davie, I was thinking
about it.
This thing that I'm doing withthe town next month is
interesting because I have tocome up with a biography and my
history and I know that I'vebeen here for over 30 years.
(11:40):
And yet I was also rememberingwhen I was a teenager.
One of my first jobs was at theuniverse, what's now the Whole
Foods Plaza.
There was a Kmart in there andthe Stoll Strip Mall stores and
it was a clothing store calledCan't Miss Clothing Store.
It was a girls, women'sclothing and I worked there.
(12:02):
So, like as a teenager, I wasworking in Davie and my first
apartments were in Davie.
You know the one of them is noteven an apartment building
anymore the crosswind.
You know the car used to say wewere going to do the crosswind
chronicles because it was somuch drama all the time every
weekend, and my next apartmentwas the College Square
(12:27):
Apartments apartments, which ison the other side of davy road.
I've been here in davy a reallylong time.
I've been in florida since 1974.
We've been.
You know I went to southplantation high school.
There's so many things that areabout being in this area, so I
truly do want to stay in thisarea and I have asked our mutual
(12:50):
friend Leah Lonnie, the realtor, to help me find a place.
And she's awesome she really is.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I mean, I'm so grateful to have her in my life.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I'm so grateful to have her in my life and I know
she does the podcast with you aswell, and yeah, so there are a
lot of good things.
I've got support.
I've got people that areholding my hand and saying we're
going to get through this and,um, I just keep going along
trying to let clients know,because clients don't always
(13:22):
handle change.
Well, you know me as a mentalhealth professional.
I'm aware of my own challengeswith handling stress and
handling change, and I movethrough things pretty quickly,
but I still experience them.
I just don't hang on to them.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
My clients are here for a reason.
My clients are here for areason, and so I've had to start
letting each one know I'mmoving.
By May We'll be in a newbuilding.
So, as of yesterday, the 90days started.
So we were given 90 days notice.
Tiktok, tiktok, tiktok.
(13:59):
So a deadline.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
On the clock, Marilisa.
Well you're welcome.
We're happy to have you inCooper City.
I know you want to stay inDavie, but come on Cooper City,
it's a sister city.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Come on into the fold , come in, let's go, let's go.
Well, I'm halfway there withthe chamber, because it's the
davy cooper city chamber, and wewill be in cooper city this
month.
Next week we'll be in coopercity for our uh monthly luncheon
.
So there's, there's a lot ofdifferent.
There's just a lot of differentthings going on, and trying to
figure out what direction is upsometimes can be a challenge,
(14:35):
and that's when I know, when Iknow I need to reach out.
I've reached out to my twoclosest friends, I've reached
out to family.
I have support, I know where togo to get my needs met, and
that's the piece that's reallyimportant for people when
they're dealing with anxiety ordealing with change is know
where the resources are.
So even with me, with the CBD,you know it's like I know that I
(14:59):
have that as a resource, soit's something that I can use as
a supplement to help me throughanything that feels a little
bit over the top for me, whichright now, this is a little over
the top for me.
It's not a crisis, it's notmajor.
Nobody's being injured.
It's just change, and change isreally difficult for many, many
(15:19):
people.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Indeed, it's so funny because we've been taught from
early on that you need to createhabits and routines in your
life, and you do right.
You need to program your mind.
You need to do whether it'sexercising, whether it's having
the right diet, your mentalattitude you need to do these
things and you need to implementthese into your life in small
(15:43):
doses, and what that does is itcreates a situation where, when
you do need to change, there's alot of resistance there,
because now you have thesethings programmed in your mind
and you're used to doing thesame thing over and over, and,
over and over again, which doeslead to success in many cases,
but then all of a sudden, youneed to make a big change and
it's like your world comes down.
So you have to have tools todeal with all that.
So you talked about some of thetools that you use with the
(16:07):
CBDs and some of these things,which really are just tools,
right, because you don't want touse it as a crutch.
Let's talk about some of thelike more of the holistic type
tools that people can use likereal life.
It's one of the things for methat works really, really well
when I'm going through adifficult time whether it's a
(16:28):
big thing coming up or even justa stressor, whatever it is is
going back to the breath, likebreath work.
It's something that you can do.
You could be sitting behindyour desk and get a bad email
and then you get triggered andyou could just take 30 seconds,
60 seconds, and just step awayand take a few deep breaths and
just oxygenate your system andit just kind of centers you and
(16:49):
you get back to it and it's justbeing aware of that.
Right, it's how you react tothe thing that comes up.
Right, you can either let itdrown you and take a hold of you
and pull you down and ruin yourday, right?
Or you could recognize it forwhat it is.
It's just a thought, it's goingto go away and you can do
something to distract yourselffrom that thought.
Not to say don't feel theemotion, right.
And you can do something todistract yourself from that
(17:12):
thought, not to say don't feelthe emotion right, feel it, but
don't let it consume.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
you Feel it and let it go Correct Right, and when
you start getting in the habitof feeling that and I do that
for myself, I do that for myself.
Every morning, I go out and sitin my backyard where it's just.
I'm looking at the water, Ifocus on my breath, I listen to
the birds.
I listen to the birds.
I try to figure out what is theconversation going on between
the blue jays and themockingbirds.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
the cardinals that are coming in Try to have
anxiety while you're focusing onthe birds and trying to
decipher what the conversationis that they're having.
It's nearly impossible, right?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
You're just so clear with nature at that point it is
very helpful.
But the breath meditation,having that opportunity, even
when I'm triggered, I tellpeople you know I do this, but I
tell people three deep breathswill shift how you feel in that
moment.
And you're right, I call itbeing hijacked.
So when I get this informationand it's like I feel like I'm
(18:08):
being hijacked emotionally, Iknow that I need to take a
couple of deep breaths and ifthat's still not enough, I phone
a friend, I call out, I'll textsomebody.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Use a lifeline right Phone a friend.
Use a lifeline, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
All of these, all of these are tools.
So the getting out and theother thing that I do is I will
go stand barefoot outside, noton asphalt.
I'll stand on concrete, grass,dirt, sand, whatever I can find
at the moment at this place,right here.
It's the concrete, and concretewill still allow you to feel
grounded.
I go out barefoot and I look atthe sun.
(18:50):
I just close my eyes and Istare up at the sun and focus on
my breath, and I do.
I do that multiple times a day,every single day.
That's just part of what I do.
Um, for grounding, and there'sso many ways to ground yourself.
So that's one way.
Another way is the breathing.
Another way is to just listento music that you feel like
(19:14):
singing to.
Exercise Exercise, taking a walk.
There are a lot of tools.
If you've got the opportunity,take a sea salt bath.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I prefer ice baths, sea salt is actually really good
.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I know you like the ice baths.
I'm just not a fan of cold.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I haven't done one in a while.
The last one I did a couple ofmonths ago at the full moon
gathering it was.
It was intensely shocking to mysystem and I haven't done one
since then and I used to takecold showers all the time and
I've kind of stepped away fromthat.
I I'm trying to get back intoit and it's like the shock to my
system all over again.
Uh, that definitely takes,definitely takes some.
You never get fully used to it,but it definitely.
It gets a little bit better.
(19:53):
So there's some resistance tothat.
So it's coming.
We're doing an ice bath soon.
I'm starting to talk about itmore.
I need more ice baths in mylife.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah, and, and the sea salt baths are are also very
detoxifying.
And when you are surrounded orfrom people complaining and I'm
not talking about clients it'sactually really easy for me to
hear clients I'm in a differentmode and I stay in this mentally
(20:22):
safe space where I can hear andprocess, but I don't absorb.
When I am out in the world, Idon't always stay that protected
and I absorb more.
So it's nice to just be able togo back to my sanctuary, which
is my home, and take a sea saltbath, go, sit up back with a cup
(20:43):
of hot tea, just sit andmeditate and focus on my breath,
just trying to figure out whichway do I need to go right now?
What do I need to do to takecare of myself right now?
And that is sort of thequestion of the day for all of
us what do I need to do to takecare of myself in this moment
(21:08):
and move forward?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Even with us.
When we started today with thetechnical difficulties, have you
noticed that we haven't had anynow?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It always works out for the best.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Always does it does.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's so funny.
We were talking about triggersand how you, how you choose to
frame things that come up.
I'm starting to.
I'm not quite quite there.
It's a, it's a process, but I'mstarting to look at the
triggers that come up and thethings that that really make my
blood boil as an opportunity forgrowth, because that's really
what it is right.
Most of the time when a triggercomes up, it's basically
(21:44):
something within yourself thatyou need to work on, and the
resistance is you don't want towork on it because it requires
change and it requires pain.
It requires all that ugly stuffthat we don't like to deal with
, and so we have these triggersthat come up.
That basically frees you fromdealing with the issue, and then
you compartmentalize, you putit away.
So I'm starting to look atthese triggers like, oh, why is
that coming up?
(22:04):
And then you just engage it andtry to have a dialogue with the
thing, the emotion that comesup, like you get angry at
something.
Why is that happening?
And really sit with that andtry to figure out what's coming
up right now and more often thannot, again, it's something
within yourself that you need towork on, whether it's to apply
love to that thing or you needto implement new things,
whatever it is.
But again, it's all about themindset and how you frame these
(22:25):
things.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
And to understand that energy is real and it
exists.
I have a really good example ofhow crystals are very helpful.
So I had an event this pastweekend where I was out and I'm
around a lot of people and therewas a lot of negativity going
on and, because I was already ata heightened stress level, the
(22:47):
negativity was like just stayaway.
So what I was wearing wastourmaline.
Black tourmaline is known toblock negative energy, so I'm
wearing a necklace made out ofblack tourmaline.
It is so stressful where I'm atand I finally, you know, go
through all of this insanity andget myself back to center and,
(23:09):
as I'm standing at my table,finally everything is calm.
I've gotten the situationhandled.
The tourmaline exploded, itwent and I was like what just
happened?
The tourmaline apparently hadabsorbed so much negative energy
(23:30):
it's like I'm out.
It was so weird.
I was like there was a stumpleft on my necklace.
I was like there was a stumpleft on my necklace.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I was like like, like if you, if you would have told,
told me that, like if I didn'tknow you and you just told me
that story, like five, six yearsago, I'd be like what?
That's crazy.
That's not a thing, it's badyou have to do some
editing.
I got it.
It's so fun, it's so funny.
Yeah, like we're talking, we'rehaving a conversation on here
(24:00):
and as soon as you left and itwas just me now I'm looking at
myself in the camera You're nothere anymore and I'm just like.
I'm like, oh, let me just keeptalking.
And I feel like I'm talking tomyself like a crazy person.
I'm like what do I talk about?
Marilisa Lisa's not here.
Let's just close this one out.
Thanks everyone for joiningwhen you popped in.
It's so funny how we get in ourown heads what's the difference
(24:25):
between you being here and thenyou leaving.
Why do you have to be here forme to talk to the camera?
It's so difficult for people.
And it happens also when I playmusic.
As soon as I hit record, likeI'll play and I'll sing
something, I'm like, wow, thatsounds great.
And then I'm like, let merecord that.
And I go and I get the thingand I hit record and I don't
play it right.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
The singing is wrong.
Like what is that?
Speaker 2 (24:45):
It's that anxiety, it's that expectation of trying
to.
That's a deep one.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
It's an opportunity to understand that sometimes we
just need to be present.
Yes, not worry about a goodphotograph or a good recording,
but that moment was incredible.
It was an awesome experience.
I'm so amazed that I had thecapacity to think that, to write
(25:12):
that, to sing that, to yeah, tocreate, because we do create.
Our life is about perspective,you know, and our perceptions
are what change our perspectives, and all we've got right now is
to be kind and loving and justkeep taking care of ourselves.
(25:33):
My mom used to end every singlesession with a client with take
care of ourselves.
My mom used to end every singlesession with a client with take
care of yourself.
We had it written on a board,on a dry erase board.
After she passed For years, itwas still sitting there Take
care of yourself.
And that's what it is at theend of the day Take care of
yourself.
And not a selfish.
It's not a selfish intention.
(25:54):
It really is a self-focusedintention.
It's not a selfish intention.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
It really is a self-focused intention.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
And if we do everything with kindness and
with love we feel better aboutthe end of the day.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yep, and that's all that matters.
You can't show up properly forothers if you don't take care of
yourself.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Exactly, exactly, and we have this tendency, as human
beings, to beat ourselves upExactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Why would you tell yourself you suck if you do
something like oh you're so yousuck.
It's so counterproductive.
Like no we're great ateverything we do.
We are.
Everything is a learningopportunity.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Everything is a learning opportunity.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, all right, well, let's,let's leave it at that.
Yes, with some mild technicalissues, but we did well.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Yes, and you're amazing at editing, so you'll
figure it all out, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Piece of cake.
Piece of cake.
All right, everyone.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We are so happy to see you herewith us on this journey and we
look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
And remember there are many opportunities for
healing the next opportunity isjust around the corner.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Let's go all right, everyone, take care, stay
blessed out there.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
We love you all thank you for listening to the
hempemp Del Sol podcast.
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