June 24, 2024 • 53 mins
The Hidden Egg podcast returns with the first episode of Season 5! Happy Pride, eggheads! This installment, we focused our search through Medium to articles telling us about LGBTQIA+ issues and experiences.
We shared a writer who is a part of our discord community, Murphy's Law, having his sexuality challenged by a well-written character, and marched right into Nanie Hurley telling us how LGBTQIA+ folks are dismantling toxic traditions. Our 3rd author, I Napoleon B. gave us a very intimate seat to get a taste of his relationship with one of his best friends, and the special bond of gay friendships.
To watch the video version of this podcast, go to our Substack. For more about writing with vulnerability and information on articles discussed in the episodes, visit themonsteralley.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Tam and I'm eternally mortal and this is the hidden egg podcast where we talk about vulnerability and
(00:07):
stuff and things and medium articles I
Hope you're okay over there. Yes. Go ahead and you're listening to season 5 episode 1 and
Today's theme or this week's theme is
LGBTQ stuff
Mm-hmm. Happy pride happy pride
(00:30):
It is June the first episode season 5 of the hidden egg podcast. Happy pride everybody
Whether you are involved in the LGBTQ community or not
I hope you're finding a wonderful time through this June this
Roasty toasty June. Do you remember remember being young and thinking that rainbows were just rainbows?
(00:52):
They were just colors in the sky
Kind of kind of yeah more or less
Like I don't I don't mind that like LGBTQ and rainbows go together now, but like I
Don't know. I feel like I feel like straight
homophobic people now just no longer
(01:13):
Appreciate rainbows at all
Yeah, absolutely, and it's really sad
the
The aggravated political climate going around a lot of the world right now, especially with regard to
LGBTQIA plus folks is
Made it to where the rainbow has become a battle flag. Yeah now
(01:35):
now
People wear it with pride as opposed to just you know, like, you know before it became a pride symbol. It was
From a Christian's perspective the symbol of God's promise, you know to not kill everybody again
There's a symbol of God's promise to not kill everybody and God promised not to kill everybody again
(01:58):
I don't know. Yeah. That was the Noah's Ark thing
So Noah did the whole like gathering up two of every animal on his big-ass boat
And then they went out to sea for yeah. Yeah, that was a promise not to do it again
after the
Bird came back and could find land and so they knew the waters were receding
(02:19):
I think it was then that God showed a rainbow as a symbol of his covenant to Noah that he would not
Destroy the inhabitants of the earth ever again. That seems presumptuous
Did God actually say that that was his?
His symbol for it or is this an assumption that somebody had that was like, oh, it's
It's a rainbow. This must mean that God is never going to hit us again
(02:43):
And that is what I should believe because my abuser would never do it again. I'm sorry
I'm not really strictly Christian but like
No, no, I totally get what you're saying and it's up to interpretation because it's the Bible
So like, you know in the Bible, especially Old Testament
God was a lot more talkative back then and would just talk to people all the time
(03:05):
But like nowadays anybody that says they're talking to God everyone just thinks that they're crazy
So if back in the day everyone also thought anyone talking to God was just crazy then yeah
They were just guessing they were just like, oh, it's pretty and we're not dead. That must mean
That we're never gonna have to deal with this again
(03:26):
so and that's so weird though also because like
If if the rainbow is considered God's promise to not kill people again like that
Then wouldn't that also include gay people?
No, no, no, no, it's not that God won't kill people. It's that God's not gonna kill
Every person on the planet except for a couple anymore
(03:50):
He can kill as many as he wants. He just can't genocide the whole planet
With the exception of one family ever again. That was the promise. I see. So that's the loophole
well
Anyway, even as a kid, I thought it was funny. But anyway, yeah, it was a little tangential. Sorry about that
(04:10):
We're not here to talk about
Noah. No, I just I
And now I'd like once you explained it. I'm like, oh, yeah
I do remember hearing that whole rainbow thing being like, oh, yeah, I do remember hearing that
whole rainbow thing being a sign from God that
He's sorry and he'll never do it again. But like it never made sense to me. So I didn't
(04:32):
And like, I don't know. I thought it was something that like a cartoon had said
not
Something the Bible actually said, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it admittedly has been a long time and maybe I'm incorrect. I'm pretty sure that I'm right on this
No, you're probably right. I may be incorrect. Who knows
Season five will will will proceed a lot like season four of the hidden egg broadcast where we will highlight several
(04:56):
Medium articles that we thought were pretty awesome. Yeah, and probably not have a weird aside beforehand
In every episode, but maybe I don't know. I like our little weird intros. We're fluid
in many ways
So are we uh, are we doing the shout outs then is that where we're we were at currently?
I think we're up to doing some shout outs. All right, so the very first one and kind of the one that
(05:23):
Well, it was it was the second one that that really made me want to do this episode as an lgbtq
The first one is the very last article that we're doing
We're sandwiched we're doing a sandwich here
So the second one that like was like no, we have to do an lgbtq article
themed one this time was
(05:45):
jerald stirgill's
Is it stirgill or stirgill?
Uh unknown. I don't think i've ever said his last name
But but stirge our resident stirge
Yep, jerald himself who is a gay man who loves boobs?
And it is exactly what it sounds like
It is a journey. It is a wonderful read
(06:06):
And I think everybody should go read it at least once i've read it twice
Yeah, it's very cute and uh, surge, you know, um
Shares himself as as he likes to do
Uh, we we can count on jerald to really give a true account of what he's been through and what he believes was going on
And we we appreciate that every time
(06:28):
and
Honestly, I mean i've heard many times in my life from people that are from straight people
from cis people from lgbtq folk people
like
Everyone loves boobs. Everyone loves boobs
I'm sure there's exceptions and I don't begrudge those exceptions. You're allowed to live your life however you want to live
No, but it's a pretty safe assumption that if you see a person
(06:50):
They like boobs
Right exactly
You know, so even if you're not like that way sexually they're just they're
They're appealing to look at they feel good in the hand
Yep, if you own a pair, you know what i'm talking about
It's you know, it's fun so squishy things are nice makes perfect sense to me that a gay man would still like boobs
(07:19):
And uh surge went through some of his past and and everything in this one telling some you know
Giving some context about why and when and where and how and it was very nice article. I really enjoyed it. Yeah without it being
too
Graphic I should say
Oh, yeah
(07:39):
So and and I yeah, I feel like this is a pretty
Mostly ubiquitous experience. Maybe not everybody but
Enough people that you could reasonably
assume anybody
So the next shout out
I just published this today
(08:00):
On on the new rainbow road publication that is lgbtq themed
And it's by amy stinnett stinnett. I'm not sure if i'm saying that name, right? So I
hope that it's
not terrible, um, and
Their article is called coming out to my parents. Did I even do it?
(08:20):
Yeah
I'll be honest. I didn't I haven't even read this one yet. It's so new so i'm gonna have to let you take the lead on
Sharing what this one's about. Yes, i'm not i'm not gonna like go through all the things that she says in there
But it's just her journey with um
Coming out without coming out basically
and
(08:42):
And kind of just sharing what her experience was and then and then asking, you know, what you think?
Do you think that that she actually ever came out?
Or do you think that she was a coward?
And and didn't yet like what what's what's your take? So she's kind of
Kind of asking for a little bit of participation in the mix, but I thought it was
(09:06):
interesting
And I I compared it to um in in my comment
To her I compared it to
heterosexuals, right?
Who never told their parents that they'd have had sex
Like they never talked to them about having sex. It's it's a very similar conversation
(09:27):
Saying that you're gay is essentially similar. It's similar to heterosexual saying i'm i'm sexually active
They just suddenly appear with a child one day and like there's no conversation
Is that cowardly?
Maybe from some perspectives, but like why do they need to know?
(09:48):
Yeah
Yeah, absolutely
And I think it's actually an experience that a lot of people have had honestly like gay people and even possibly even straight people or people
That are you know bi or whatever from our generation, especially I think that it's a very different experience
Or from our generation, especially I think that the the people that are in their
40s
(10:08):
Right now late 30s like sometimes there just wasn't time
To do the whole coming out thing. You're too busy trying to figure out how you're going to survive in this world. Use my language
Well, I I believe um, amy is actually of a younger generation. I think she said she's like 23 or something
Early to mid 20s. So maybe not quite
(10:29):
Late having the same background that we did but I mean
Still during that age you still kind of end up trying to figure out how to survive anyway
Oh, I did read the first line that said back in the mid to late 80s
Uh coming out was not an easy thing to do. I just sort of took that as an assumption that you know
(10:49):
She was roughly our age
But you know, i'm mistaken all the time
Well
I mean, I think coming out is still a difficult thing for a lot of people
Some people get i'm thrilled that some people when they come out
It's met with with happiness and celebration in some in some places very rarely
(11:12):
I think a lot of times it's still met with a lot of hate
And rejection and that's terrible
But I think it's slowly getting around to where some people are getting to have a positive coming out
So can I can I can I talk about a tangential aside for a moment?
Sure, so like
So there's there's the whole coming out battle, right? And that's that's its own
(11:34):
Discussion, but let's let's set that in a in a on a plate
Okay, and with it. I want to also set things like the you know virginity thing that I mentioned earlier
But I also would like to put on that same plate having kids as part of your marriage or showing up
(11:54):
You know single
Day, you know holiday after holiday
It I feel like that plate that plate that consists of none of your freaking business stuff
That people feel entitled to harass and bully others over
(12:14):
I just I just want to shine a light on that
It's a ubiquitous experience that something on that plate is going to be sampled by everyone
At some point in their lives and they're going to have that feeling of it is none of your business
Why are you hassling me about something that is none of your business?
(12:35):
Yeah
I just I don't know. I just saw a connection there and I was like, you know
I know that that these things are separate things. They have their own
They have their own individual experiences and challenges and hurdles
But they are all a part
of this societal understanding or the societal belief
(12:56):
that
Your parents or your family or your even your friends have the right to tell you how to live your life
Yeah
Absolutely, and it's pretty
No one no one is entitled to any part of your life
No one do you choose?
Who can be a part of what aspects of your life you want to include people in?
(13:19):
And yeah, if you're going to come out to family members, you're probably hoping for at least acceptance, right? Right?
So you're you're kind of putting in the risk out there you're putting yourself out there for that
And for a lot of people to take that opportunity
That vulnerability that a loved one is showing you and to move on them and to tell them
(13:41):
And to tell them that they need to be a specific way. It's the first episode. I'm cursing too much
Um, it's fine. We have we have the bleep thing now. Remember? Oh we do the bleep thing now
So the people watching this as a video oh hi surge
People that are watching this as a video. They're going to hear that bleep sound
(14:02):
And and they've already heard it probably at least three times
Yeah, yeah, uh-huh. I'm gonna use it for mine too. So that's gonna be awesome
Welcome in stars. Good to see you buddy. Um, we already did your shout out. Sorry
But yeah people that take the opportunity of someone, you know being super vulnerable and coming out as you know
(14:28):
whatever aspect of the lgbtqia plus community they are and for the
The family members to take that opportunity to tell them how they should live their life and to tell them that they're wrong or bad
Or evil for that is just
It's un it's it's it. It doesn't make any sense to me. It's
It's asinine and ridiculous
And kind of kind of horrible
(14:50):
I I considered abusive alone
That alone is abusive
it's like someone saying
You know look at my look at this cut that I have on my hand or or look at this very vulnerable thing that I have
And then someone's stabbing it like it's terrible
Well, it's kind of like they're actually like pouring gravel in it, but they think that it's pouring salt in it
(15:17):
like they think that they're
Trying to help
But what they're really doing is rubbing in unnecessary agents that could lead to an infection
And sever the relationship
And possibly damage that person
Emotionally for god knows how long
Right for life potentially, but yeah
(15:40):
Yep. Um
Anyway
Go ahead. I was gonna say did amy's article, uh, come out with positive stuff also or was yeah
So I I was actually gonna say like none of this actually applies to amy's article amy's article was not
Trauma filled than I saw at all
it was actually very like
(16:02):
tame and
And while there were some challenges that she mentioned in it
It wasn't it wasn't what we're talking about. Like it wasn't
severe
um
And maybe that's just because she only hinted at some of the difficulties between her and her family
I don't know that part
(16:23):
wasn't
Expressly stated so none of this extreme trauma
Part really applies to the article itself
her article was actually quite pleasant and
Fun to read it didn't leave me feeling like
you know, oh no, this is terrible like that that was not a
(16:44):
A part of that article. Well, good to know but you know, you know us, you know, yeah, we go places
Tangents, uh
Then roads so then on that note
Let's go to the to the third shout out that was
was kind of
Extreme and and a bit traumatizing
(17:05):
Yeah, this is this is one. I hope it's okay for me to say but this is one that I found
That um, it was very impactful to me, but it does have an enormous amount of trauma throughout it. It's incredibly
really vulnerable
Like it is all about this person's experience and what they've gone through and how it has shaped them
(17:27):
And why why their perception is the way that it is?
And so I I was really really touched by the article
But we also you know, we're it is is it time to bring up the whole?
Uh consent thing that we're talking about too. Oh, yeah, sure
So we're trying to be really good about season five with making sure consent is sexy
About making sure that we get consent from the authors that we're we're highlighting in our uh episodes
(17:52):
um, preferably before we do the episode to make sure that people are okay with us talking about their articles and
You know, we also did for season four
We did some merch with the names of all the writers that we highlighted in our episodes for season four
And we're going to hopefully do something similar to that for season five
So consent is something that we're working on and we haven't gotten
(18:13):
Like we have a form that uh tam created that um, we haven't gotten
Express consent from this author as of yet. Yeah, so so tracy three
Um, she said that she filled out the form and I don't know what happened because I didn't I didn't get the submission
For one reason or another so I I didn't feel super comfortable putting that this one on
(18:40):
the um
the thing
But it was also a little traumatic too, which is really the the big part
It's not that trauma isn't good for our podcast. We definitely do trauma all the time, but this particular episode
I felt that um
lgptq
Stuff tends to be a little heavily weighted on the trauma
(19:02):
In most places and I wanted to make this episode more relatable
And and that you know means not traumatizing everybody with the things that happen when you are in an lgbtq experience
so
And you can go and find a very um
You can find a whole bunch of places that'll be able to show you the trauma that that that lgbtq
(19:25):
Plus folks have gone through in the past several years and all of time
Or you could go to this article right here and see a whole bunch of them
Yeah, and it this
This particular article is called i'm rejecting gender in my 40s after a misogynistic catholic upbringing by tracy three
Um
It's a really well written article
(19:47):
I will say there are some parts. I don't necessarily agree with or I feel like they've gone a bit extreme
with
however, it's
You know, it's it's a an experience and I think that
for anybody who is curious about
what a
Transgendered person who has a very female looking body goes through
(20:11):
And i'm i'm on that same boat by the way. I don't really care about gender. I think the idea of gender
is
Nuanced but I don't particularly care if people see me as a girl a boy as long as i'm not a thing. I'm fine
But I think that's a good thing
I think that's fine
(20:32):
But anybody who wants to know what this experience is like should read this article
Yep, absolutely. It was um, it was very good and they have definitely been through an enormous amount
some of the positions that they've taken have been
Created because of the trauma of their past and so
You know, it kind of makes sense that they're going to be hard line about some things and
(20:54):
We didn't have those same experiences
And I think that's a good thing and I think that's a good thing because like I think the
Way that you both kind of share that i'm okay with being called a thing to be honest. I don't really super care
Either way, um me and one of my favorite streamers have both said out loud to people that like we wouldn't really
(21:15):
Be unhappy with the pronoun it for us. Yeah, I don't like it
article and I'm really glad I found it and I hope Tracy 3 finds some smiles
seems like they're doing good really I should also say I don't know if Amy
Amy didn't like give me consent either which is which is why like she didn't
(21:39):
even give me in a comment any consent there wasn't enough time so I just put
it in there as a shout out because I liked the article it was nice yeah for
the shout out articles were if we haven't gotten a consent yet we can put
them a shout out still because we want to shout out people but for anybody that
wants to give us consent to read their articles and talk about them on our
(22:00):
podcast and all this other stuff any of the articles going forward for season
five and beyond will have a link to the consent form to do that yep absolutely
Gerald why would you oh because I said I'm okay with being called it I get it
now all right that's valid all right so on to our very first article and this
(22:27):
one was also one that you discovered oh yeah that's right I did so yeah Murphy's
law a member of our discord community put out the bisexual prince was a
straight man's first crush and it was okay so disclaimer Tam cut me off if you
(22:51):
want to cut me off disclaimer this article is about game of a game of
Thrones character and there will be a few Game of Thrones spoilers in the
article so be forewarned about that but the character is one of my favorites
absolutely yeah I don't know anything about Game of Thrones and the article
(23:15):
like the parts that were about this character meant virtually nothing to me
because I have no connection to the character to the story to any of it so
it's huge like there's huge spoilers in it but I like they just go over my head
and they're not gonna connect with you when and if you ever do read or watch
(23:36):
the show I read all the books for Game of Thrones that exist and I didn't
watch the show but this character even without having seen the visual
representation was just gorgeous someone that cared very deeply about the people
that he cared about and did not discriminate when it came to bedroom
antics for an ancient time period piece by was as far as it goes and this
(24:01):
character was happily flirting with everybody and the confidence of a
person any person to be able to happily flirt with anybody is just gorgeous to
me yeah and and that's the part that I can connect with is is the idea of
finding somebody attractive that you wouldn't normally find attractive now I
(24:25):
it's it's hard for that to really be relatable to me because I'm bisexual I
don't have rules about what is normal for me to find attractive I just find
people attractive and that's what I'm attracted to but I have seen a lot of
times where there will be like I've seen on on social media I've seen
(24:47):
conversations about between men about who would you be gay for these are
completely straight men they're not attracted to other men however it seems
to be fairly common that among men there are there's there's always like one man
that you would go gay for just because of how they are there their personality
(25:13):
calls to them and I I know that this happens with women too but women are a
lot less weird about it we're not we're not like who would you go well some
people might be who would you go gay for but it's more like you know she might be
able to turn me or you know just really sometimes we treat it as extreme
(25:33):
admiration and we just know that like no you're like you love them like
obviously you would do something with them if they if there was a an
opportunity to like it's just it's fine yeah I I kind of have the belief and I
don't I wouldn't stand by it I'm not gonna fight people if they tell me that
(25:55):
they don't fall into it but I kind of the belief that everybody if they didn't
feel any societal pressures at all would be a little by a little interested in
in anybody depending on person nice man I should say pan so like the right
person dependent regardless of sexuality or gender just hits the buttons in the
(26:16):
right way and you feel those little feelings inside you know now see I can't
go down that rabbit hole because I believed for the longest time that
everyone started out bisexual and chose which one was stronger and and and I
(26:37):
like you can hear from the words and everything like that that goes down a
pretty rough road where you're like I don't know that that's someplace that we
all start at like because it's not really something any like none of these other
people feel like they chose aside right right right yeah and and so I had to
(26:59):
like kind of do away with that but I think it is it is a likely possibility
that everybody has the potential for attraction to any gender based on a
personality trait and the personalities that they're exposed to end up weighing
which gender they end up feeling more strongly attracted towards potentially
(27:25):
like that's that's something I'm like well that's maybe that's something very
difficult to ascertain like what personalities they would be more
attracted to when they're in their formative years I don't know if we can
ever actually test that but we can we can know that there are many instances
(27:45):
of people that are completely and totally straight sometimes having one or
two people that they're like you know if there was ever a chance maybe not a full
on relationship but I'd one night stand that right exactly yeah just a little
(28:07):
gay I really thought that when I thought that I was straight back in the day I
you know I still had man crushes I I've been attracted to James McAvoy for an
incredibly long time and Brad Pitt's hot but I think he's an asshole but that
might be why I think he's hot too yeah not a it's a weird I've never seen him
(28:36):
look like that but yeah uh-huh that's it who is this James McAvoy so it's not a
great honestly no offense Sturge that's not like my favorite picture of James
McAvoy there's Brad Pitt but James McAvoy was like the younger professor
Xavier in the X-Men movies he was in a few several other movies he's got really
(28:59):
big roles that I can't think of off the top of my head he was in the dune thing
way back in the day he was so there was the old old dune movie that ended with
Paul Atreides doing a thing and then there was the the mini sci-fi mini
(29:19):
series that came out that also included children of dune and you got to see later
Paul Atreides children and James McAvoy played Lado the second oh okay yeah
yeah he was hot in that I think he was young in that yeah he was really young
yeah but he's been in a lot of other stuff and I'm floored every time I see
(29:41):
him I think he's got a great acting ability he kills every accent he tries
his Hall Mac sent his hottest oh damn it I'm putting in more bleeps but yeah I've
always kind of there's always been there's always been dudes I mean there's
been a few guys in my in my actual like real-life life that Ike you know I was
(30:03):
like okay I wasn't gay I'm pretty sure but he's really cute and like nice and
like look at that smile you know so that was the initial but of course I'm
pansexual yeah I don't know I was gonna say I don't think you're I don't think
you're straight yeah I was never really I just didn't know it at the time but
(30:26):
like ghost for instance he has definitely explored the possibility of
being bi and decided like that just isn't not decided but realized that that
just doesn't actually do it for him however even he has I might go a little
gay for this for this person yeah here and there here and there like it's it's
(30:50):
not it's not a lot like it's it's really like just usually one maybe two people
and most but like yeah that would I I would it's kind of like saying I might
experiment with this again and and you know see if anything happens so yeah I
really like Murphy's story because it it touches on that it touches on on that
(31:13):
kind of almost forbidden male love kind of thing that I think that a lot of guys
actually do experience but don't feel comfortable talking about and that's
part of the reason why I was so thrilled with with Murphy's article here is
because like he's just coming out there and saying it to everybody and like
(31:34):
getting it out there and showing that like it's not weird it's not a bad thing
it's a good thing look at what this is like shown me about myself you know I
mean right like I guess I thought it was I thought it was it was very well-needed
piece of content right it's kind of a bridge to like not to have
heterosexual males become homosexual but but to have one experience is like oh I
(31:59):
bet being gay is just having this all the time and then you can understand a
little bit better like oh okay well this isn't condemning this isn't the worst
thing in the world it's not what I would choose not what I want but at the same
time I can understand you know oh and all about building bridges one last
(32:21):
thing for this article not only is the viper because that's what this person
the character's nickname is from Game of Thrones is not only is he bi but he's
also poly and we don't get an enormous lot lot of like positive poly
representation in media hmm and he is in an open poly relationship with multiple
(32:46):
people and they they they bring in new lovers and sure Game of Thrones is a
pretty toxic waste dump for the way that people treat each other in a lot of ways
but this dude and his his partners are all very wholesome towards each other
from my perspective if I remember correctly hey hate to read it and find
out that I was wrong as a side note this picture of this dude saying poly
(33:11):
glamorous relationship this I'm bro he is clearly a himbo yeah he's very pretty
but like there is nothing behind those eyes oh I love him though I love him both
but it is so he's just such a himbo poly related lammer is in related news I
(33:37):
started watching Dragon Ball recently I only say that because the Dragon Ball Z
abridged a version of Goku is the himbo is to himbo that's ever himbo'd hmm
anyway that's all moving okay so this is this is usually the slot that we have
for abuse articles and this isn't an abuse article itself but it does shine a
(34:02):
light on abuses that happen within the LGBTQ community that we don't actually
think about and it's not even it's not even really within the LGBTQ community
that these abuses are happening but rather it's it's complicated this
article is called homosexuals are endangering a long-lasting tradition by
(34:25):
I'm gonna call it nanny Hurley could be nanny could be not good apologies if I'm
mispronouncing your name and Sturge says it's nanny okay cool and the article is
a slight debate because I was like hmm because like I read that title and I was
(34:45):
like wait are we are we against same-sex marriages here yeah it does kind of have
that that sound to it so it's just a tiny little debate but the the the kind
of like the point of that if you don't mind me saying stop me if you want to is
that Brazil has had a pretty bad problem with child marriages and interestingly
(35:13):
0% of those child marriages are same-sex marriages yep that might get that right
yeah yeah and I mean that's that's the big reveal so we kind of well I mean it's
pretty early boiled a little bit but yeah the the point of the article is to
show that like there are traditions that like oh so a lot of people's arguments
(35:38):
about how same-sex marriages are bad they they often point to you know they're
destroying traditions and that's why the title is the way it is because it's
addressing that perspective of gay marriages being a destruction of
traditional values but the tradition that we're calling into question here
(36:02):
that we're really shedding the light on is it really a tradition that we want
and and this is about the Brazilian government and and and data that we get
from there because in a lot of first world countries you know child marriages
(36:23):
aren't even allowed they are illegal so we can't judge them by that but there's
a lot of places where it is illegal to be gay but it is perfectly legal for a
12 year old to get married to her pedophile abuse raper in fact there was
a reference in this article of a law that specifically allowed for a pedophile
(36:49):
rapist to yeah marry the victim and avoid being penalized legally yeah with
with second I think it included consent of the parents of the victim yeah but
even in that case like it doesn't really help the child the idea of that law is
(37:11):
basically that you know if the rapist decides to take responsibility for the
impregnate you know the child and their child then I guess it all is well but
that doesn't actually benefit them to then be under the control of the person
that took away their autonomy that took away their childhood and forced them
(37:36):
into a role they may not have even wanted right like you want to talk about
forced gender roles like what if this was a female presenting person that
didn't even want to be married or have kids or didn't feel like a female but
they were raped by a pedophile at you know 12 years old well in Brazil the
(37:58):
pedophile has the right to ask for their hand in marriage ability I don't know if
it's like a right as in Pope maybe right is a right word yeah it is because it's
a law yeah it's given to them as a right and that's kind of upsetting yeah and
(38:18):
we're going into the extreme example here but regardless of that one extreme
exam aspect of it there are a staggering number of child marriages around the
globe and this article really points specifically at Brazil but doesn't
doesn't doesn't stop from talking about the other countries that do the same
(38:40):
thing and there's a lot of data in here to do you mind if I throw out a random
number real quick sure between 2013 and 2019 a staggering 19 1,988 girls and
158 boys under the age of 15 were wedded in Brazil alone and none of them were
(39:01):
homosexual yeah exactly and that's that's the whole point of this article
that she has beautifully lined out actually let's be let's be real clear
with that last thing that you said those children could potentially have been the
marriages weren't homosexual yeah but they were not same-sex marriages right
(39:24):
exactly but yeah yeah for all we know the children themselves may have been
homosexual and and not have the ability to make any sort of decisions about who
they wanted to marry whatsoever that's unclear yeah and the the article really
takes the two different things happening in the world where the LGBTQIA plus folks
(39:48):
are being mistreated around the world and also child brides a child marriages
they should say are happening around the world too and puts them into a very
sharp light that I thought was needed very good yeah yeah so not quite a an
abuse situation that helps a lot in the first world countries but it is sort of
(40:15):
a social abuse almost in certain places and it sheds a light on the idea that
maybe maybe the traditions aren't great to begin with the ones that truly are
quote-unquote under threat because of same-sex marriages maybe traditions that
(40:37):
are good to let go of for the public health of the community as a whole not
just for children not just for homosexuals but for everybody I think it
benefits everybody if children stop being forced into marriages I don't know
if I think it was a line in this article but like the line comes through in my
(40:58):
head that's like just because we've always done something doesn't mean we
should continue to do so yeah mm-hmm yeah I want to call it a couple more
statistics that were brought up in the article real quick just because they're
they're staggering to me and I want it to be in as many public places as
possible stated yeah okay but Brazil has pretty let's say progressive laws
(41:24):
regarding LGBTQIA plus folks but regardless of the fact that they have
legal protections over there over 30% of the reported transgender people killed
that were killed in 2023 weren't were killed in Brazil almost a third of every
reported transgender murder in an entire year of course that doesn't mean that is
(41:49):
30% of all transgendered people that were killed no it's just the ones that
were reported yeah and to follow that up real quick according to transgender
Europe an organization over 70% of murders of trans and gender diverse
people happen in Latin America but it also makes sure to mention that like
(42:11):
Latin American countries report these incidents and a lot of countries and
other places do not report those instances and so you're not going to
necessarily get the full picture of what that really looks like but of the
reported ones it's Latin America that's that's doing that a lot of that and I
don't mean to like degrade the whole region I'm sure there's wonderful people
(42:32):
that love everybody in those regions and everything like that I just want to
show that it's it's a struggle for the LGBTQIA plus folks that live in that
area I think the thing is because I could have sworn just like maybe five
years ago that Latin America still had laws on the books that made it illegal
to be any part of LGBTQ like I thought that that was true like five to ten
(42:58):
years maybe so I think the issue here is that when you finally start trying to
turn that around it seems like it's getting worse because you're starting to
pay attention you're starting to report all of the damage that's still going on
while you're trying to clean it up while you're trying to change things and so
(43:20):
the other countries the what was it like 61 other countries that it's illegal to
be gay it's illegal to be any of these things that aren't the traditional
heterosexual lifestyle if those countries any one of those countries
decide they're going to change and you know make it okay and change the laws
(43:42):
and everything then they'll be the ones at the bottom of the totem pole right
because that's that's kind of the way it works the worst countries are going to
be the ones that are the most recent in their changes if they're not like
America then obviously there's some systemic problems that are deeper than
(44:02):
just making laws that are different like we we have other other problems beyond
what laws are on the books absolutely so well that was our deep heavy article
no it was deep and heavy but I feel like it was it was necessary it helps
(44:27):
it helps paint the perspective that there's no wrong answer to sexuality
there's only a wrong answer to how you treat other people yep agreed so here's
the last one and this is the one that inspired this whole episode to be LGBTQ
(44:52):
themed it was published over a week ago and when I read it I was just I was just
like nope this is this has to be on episode 1 of season 5 it just has to be
and it's by so the medium name is I Napoleon B but their actual name I didn't
(45:17):
have it and it's saved on here what is our the name
surges says Napoleon Napoleon okay I they filled out the form and then when I
because on the form I asked like what name do you want me to use for
(45:38):
merchandise and everything and they told me to use their dog's name and I'm
trying to find that that information yeah that's right
Fifi yeah Fifi or fi fi yeah I'm not sure I don't know why they wanted me to
(45:58):
use their pet name but that's that's where it is yeah it is cute adorable and
I love it so the article is called what does a true gay friend expect you to
bring into your gay friendship subtitled unfiltered unrestrained and unwavering
yeah this this really really this really kind of warmed my heart honestly yeah so
(46:24):
he found this gay friend before he came out of the closet himself yeah and I
guess for for many years I don't know how many years but for some years they
were basically a straight man and a gay man in this very close friendship and
then when he came out you know he I think at some point he went to his his
(46:52):
gay friend and and you know there was a little bit of fear that like I don't
know would would he be upset for the distance or upset at my life choices
kind of kind of thing and he's just I don't know he just describes this
beautiful friendship that I don't think that the gay part is necessarily
(47:17):
required in it for everybody because I think that there are experiences where
this happens in heterosexual relationship I think this happens in you
know women between women whether they're gay or not but I think for men
specifically it might be more difficult to find this kind of relationship
(47:40):
without without the gay mother which is what he called his friend is this this
kind of motherly presence to him yeah my gay mother and I love that I think it's
cute I think that Napoleon found an amazing person because like there's some
(48:00):
amazing people out there that are like willing to help you get through anything
and like there's a lot of people out there that are not they're only gonna
be there when it's convenient available or they're available or they have time
but to find someone that's to find someone that can still be that cool
after not talking to them for a year or two years or whatever it's rare I think
(48:24):
I will say I think it's more likely like I've had gay friends in the past and the
unfortunate thing is is I lost the ability to contact them I have no idea
how to get a hold of them because I had I was troubled I deleted numbers out of
my phone after a while because I was like they don't want to hear from me
again and I don't know how to break the silence so I guess we're just never
(48:48):
gonna talk again and I can't help but think that some of the friends that I
had especially the gay ones would have had similar responses not all of them
but some like I can I have I have like in my head like a few people I'm like
you know they probably would have been a lot more understanding than I gave them
(49:10):
credit for in my youth yeah and you know I'm kind of skimming through this article
again and Napoleon did very clearly point out that for him at least and I
assume for a lot of gay people out there there's things you can only talk about
(49:31):
with your gay friends mmm experiences that they've gone through that no one
else is gonna understand or have experienced yeah I will I will say I
knew this guy and I'm gonna I'm gonna use this real name but it's I only know
his first name anyway we called him gay Rob and he was amazing I wanted to talk
(49:56):
to other people the way I talked with him but yeah like you definitely can't I
couldn't talk to another guy that way that was bi or heterosexual because like
there'd be too much of this weird sexual tension along with it and even though I
was attracted to gay Rob because I'm attracted everybody he like it was fun to
(50:18):
just for him to be like oh yeah I know you know what I mean without there being
any any additional responsibility to that but talking to other women about
the same things that I was talking to him about was also difficult because
women often have this whole like challenge thing under like an undertone
(50:41):
of like comparing me to you and yeah and he didn't have that either so yeah I do
think there is some truth to I'm not gonna say that like you can't find that
anywhere but I think that it's it's really difficult to find that kind of
relationship in somebody who is not a gay man yeah mm-hmm and it was delightful
(51:07):
I love I love love love getting to read about relationships friendships that are
you know that close and and you know just seeing people be there for each
other like that I think it's so cute and it makes me happy
(51:28):
goodness how we doing Tam I think we're doing pretty good do you have anything
else you wanted to say about fee fees article um only that it really like made
me think of that one gay friend that got away you know well all of them honestly
but there was one in particular that like I have no idea why we just stopped
(51:51):
talking I just got too troubled to to deal with anything and then deleted his
number along with a bunch of other ones when I got a new phone and it wasn't
that I deleted the number it was like I got a new phone and then just only
ported over the numbers that I was using it was laziness that's what it was it
was laziness yeah and it's really sad and and I'm happy I'm really happy for
(52:18):
Fifi's experience I feel like a little bit like I can live a little bit
vicariously through his experience so yeah well I think that that covers a
everything I'm starting to lose my voice a little bit that sucks well not like I
don't think physically I think like the mode the gumption hmm yeah run out of
(52:45):
run out of steam Sturges gifts are on point though yeah I'd love to see him
well thank you to Sturge for being a part of the live recording yep and if
you dear listener want to be a part of the live action you could join our
discord through the invite link on the monster alley comm which also has links
(53:09):
to the Spotify the substack in the medium article thank you listeners for
coming along with our very gay journey today it's been delightful having you
here so gay I'm eternally mortal and I hope you find smiles this day and you
can find us on medium comm or through the monster alley comm th Emo nst er
(53:33):
a LLE Y.com I am the accidental monster and remember to follow yourself always
Hi, I'm Tam and I'm eternally mortal and this is the hidden egg podcast where we talk about vulnerability and
(00:07):
stuff and things and medium articles I
Hope you're okay over there. Yes. Go ahead and you're listening to season 5 episode 1 and
Today's theme or this week's theme is
LGBTQ stuff
Mm-hmm. Happy pride happy pride
(00:30):
It is June the first episode season 5 of the hidden egg podcast. Happy pride everybody
Whether you are involved in the LGBTQ community or not
I hope you're finding a wonderful time through this June this
Roasty toasty June. Do you remember remember being young and thinking that rainbows were just rainbows?
(00:52):
They were just colors in the sky
Kind of kind of yeah more or less
Like I don't I don't mind that like LGBTQ and rainbows go together now, but like I
Don't know. I feel like I feel like straight
homophobic people now just no longer
(01:13):
Appreciate rainbows at all
Yeah, absolutely, and it's really sad
the
The aggravated political climate going around a lot of the world right now, especially with regard to
LGBTQIA plus folks is
Made it to where the rainbow has become a battle flag. Yeah now
(01:35):
now
People wear it with pride as opposed to just you know, like, you know before it became a pride symbol. It was
From a Christian's perspective the symbol of God's promise, you know to not kill everybody again
There's a symbol of God's promise to not kill everybody and God promised not to kill everybody again
(01:58):
I don't know. Yeah. That was the Noah's Ark thing
So Noah did the whole like gathering up two of every animal on his big-ass boat
And then they went out to sea for yeah. Yeah, that was a promise not to do it again
after the
Bird came back and could find land and so they knew the waters were receding
(02:19):
I think it was then that God showed a rainbow as a symbol of his covenant to Noah that he would not
Destroy the inhabitants of the earth ever again. That seems presumptuous
Did God actually say that that was his?
His symbol for it or is this an assumption that somebody had that was like, oh, it's
It's a rainbow. This must mean that God is never going to hit us again
(02:43):
And that is what I should believe because my abuser would never do it again. I'm sorry
I'm not really strictly Christian but like
No, no, I totally get what you're saying and it's up to interpretation because it's the Bible
So like, you know in the Bible, especially Old Testament
God was a lot more talkative back then and would just talk to people all the time
(03:05):
But like nowadays anybody that says they're talking to God everyone just thinks that they're crazy
So if back in the day everyone also thought anyone talking to God was just crazy then yeah
They were just guessing they were just like, oh, it's pretty and we're not dead. That must mean
That we're never gonna have to deal with this again
(03:26):
so and that's so weird though also because like
If if the rainbow is considered God's promise to not kill people again like that
Then wouldn't that also include gay people?
No, no, no, no, it's not that God won't kill people. It's that God's not gonna kill
Every person on the planet except for a couple anymore
(03:50):
He can kill as many as he wants. He just can't genocide the whole planet
With the exception of one family ever again. That was the promise. I see. So that's the loophole
well
Anyway, even as a kid, I thought it was funny. But anyway, yeah, it was a little tangential. Sorry about that
(04:10):
We're not here to talk about
Noah. No, I just I
And now I'd like once you explained it. I'm like, oh, yeah
I do remember hearing that whole rainbow thing being like, oh, yeah, I do remember hearing that
whole rainbow thing being a sign from God that
He's sorry and he'll never do it again. But like it never made sense to me. So I didn't
(04:32):
And like, I don't know. I thought it was something that like a cartoon had said
not
Something the Bible actually said, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it admittedly has been a long time and maybe I'm incorrect. I'm pretty sure that I'm right on this
No, you're probably right. I may be incorrect. Who knows
Season five will will will proceed a lot like season four of the hidden egg broadcast where we will highlight several
(04:56):
Medium articles that we thought were pretty awesome. Yeah, and probably not have a weird aside beforehand
In every episode, but maybe I don't know. I like our little weird intros. We're fluid
in many ways
So are we uh, are we doing the shout outs then is that where we're we were at currently?
I think we're up to doing some shout outs. All right, so the very first one and kind of the one that
(05:23):
Well, it was it was the second one that that really made me want to do this episode as an lgbtq
The first one is the very last article that we're doing
We're sandwiched we're doing a sandwich here
So the second one that like was like no, we have to do an lgbtq article
themed one this time was
(05:45):
jerald stirgill's
Is it stirgill or stirgill?
Uh unknown. I don't think i've ever said his last name
But but stirge our resident stirge
Yep, jerald himself who is a gay man who loves boobs?
And it is exactly what it sounds like
It is a journey. It is a wonderful read
(06:06):
And I think everybody should go read it at least once i've read it twice
Yeah, it's very cute and uh, surge, you know, um
Shares himself as as he likes to do
Uh, we we can count on jerald to really give a true account of what he's been through and what he believes was going on
And we we appreciate that every time
(06:28):
and
Honestly, I mean i've heard many times in my life from people that are from straight people
from cis people from lgbtq folk people
like
Everyone loves boobs. Everyone loves boobs
I'm sure there's exceptions and I don't begrudge those exceptions. You're allowed to live your life however you want to live
No, but it's a pretty safe assumption that if you see a person
(06:50):
They like boobs
Right exactly
You know, so even if you're not like that way sexually they're just they're
They're appealing to look at they feel good in the hand
Yep, if you own a pair, you know what i'm talking about
It's you know, it's fun so squishy things are nice makes perfect sense to me that a gay man would still like boobs
(07:19):
And uh surge went through some of his past and and everything in this one telling some you know
Giving some context about why and when and where and how and it was very nice article. I really enjoyed it. Yeah without it being
too
Graphic I should say
Oh, yeah
(07:39):
So and and I yeah, I feel like this is a pretty
Mostly ubiquitous experience. Maybe not everybody but
Enough people that you could reasonably
assume anybody
So the next shout out
I just published this today
(08:00):
On on the new rainbow road publication that is lgbtq themed
And it's by amy stinnett stinnett. I'm not sure if i'm saying that name, right? So I
hope that it's
not terrible, um, and
Their article is called coming out to my parents. Did I even do it?
(08:20):
Yeah
I'll be honest. I didn't I haven't even read this one yet. It's so new so i'm gonna have to let you take the lead on
Sharing what this one's about. Yes, i'm not i'm not gonna like go through all the things that she says in there
But it's just her journey with um
Coming out without coming out basically
and
(08:42):
And kind of just sharing what her experience was and then and then asking, you know, what you think?
Do you think that that she actually ever came out?
Or do you think that she was a coward?
And and didn't yet like what what's what's your take? So she's kind of
Kind of asking for a little bit of participation in the mix, but I thought it was
(09:06):
interesting
And I I compared it to um in in my comment
To her I compared it to
heterosexuals, right?
Who never told their parents that they'd have had sex
Like they never talked to them about having sex. It's it's a very similar conversation
(09:27):
Saying that you're gay is essentially similar. It's similar to heterosexual saying i'm i'm sexually active
They just suddenly appear with a child one day and like there's no conversation
Is that cowardly?
Maybe from some perspectives, but like why do they need to know?
(09:48):
Yeah
Yeah, absolutely
And I think it's actually an experience that a lot of people have had honestly like gay people and even possibly even straight people or people
That are you know bi or whatever from our generation, especially I think that it's a very different experience
Or from our generation, especially I think that the the people that are in their
40s
(10:08):
Right now late 30s like sometimes there just wasn't time
To do the whole coming out thing. You're too busy trying to figure out how you're going to survive in this world. Use my language
Well, I I believe um, amy is actually of a younger generation. I think she said she's like 23 or something
Early to mid 20s. So maybe not quite
(10:29):
Late having the same background that we did but I mean
Still during that age you still kind of end up trying to figure out how to survive anyway
Oh, I did read the first line that said back in the mid to late 80s
Uh coming out was not an easy thing to do. I just sort of took that as an assumption that you know
(10:49):
She was roughly our age
But you know, i'm mistaken all the time
Well
I mean, I think coming out is still a difficult thing for a lot of people
Some people get i'm thrilled that some people when they come out
It's met with with happiness and celebration in some in some places very rarely
(11:12):
I think a lot of times it's still met with a lot of hate
And rejection and that's terrible
But I think it's slowly getting around to where some people are getting to have a positive coming out
So can I can I can I talk about a tangential aside for a moment?
Sure, so like
So there's there's the whole coming out battle, right? And that's that's its own
(11:34):
Discussion, but let's let's set that in a in a on a plate
Okay, and with it. I want to also set things like the you know virginity thing that I mentioned earlier
But I also would like to put on that same plate having kids as part of your marriage or showing up
(11:54):
You know single
Day, you know holiday after holiday
It I feel like that plate that plate that consists of none of your freaking business stuff
That people feel entitled to harass and bully others over
(12:14):
I just I just want to shine a light on that
It's a ubiquitous experience that something on that plate is going to be sampled by everyone
At some point in their lives and they're going to have that feeling of it is none of your business
Why are you hassling me about something that is none of your business?
(12:35):
Yeah
I just I don't know. I just saw a connection there and I was like, you know
I know that that these things are separate things. They have their own
They have their own individual experiences and challenges and hurdles
But they are all a part
of this societal understanding or the societal belief
(12:56):
that
Your parents or your family or your even your friends have the right to tell you how to live your life
Yeah
Absolutely, and it's pretty
No one no one is entitled to any part of your life
No one do you choose?
Who can be a part of what aspects of your life you want to include people in?
(13:19):
And yeah, if you're going to come out to family members, you're probably hoping for at least acceptance, right? Right?
So you're you're kind of putting in the risk out there you're putting yourself out there for that
And for a lot of people to take that opportunity
That vulnerability that a loved one is showing you and to move on them and to tell them
(13:41):
And to tell them that they need to be a specific way. It's the first episode. I'm cursing too much
Um, it's fine. We have we have the bleep thing now. Remember? Oh we do the bleep thing now
So the people watching this as a video oh hi surge
People that are watching this as a video. They're going to hear that bleep sound
(14:02):
And and they've already heard it probably at least three times
Yeah, yeah, uh-huh. I'm gonna use it for mine too. So that's gonna be awesome
Welcome in stars. Good to see you buddy. Um, we already did your shout out. Sorry
But yeah people that take the opportunity of someone, you know being super vulnerable and coming out as you know
(14:28):
whatever aspect of the lgbtqia plus community they are and for the
The family members to take that opportunity to tell them how they should live their life and to tell them that they're wrong or bad
Or evil for that is just
It's un it's it's it. It doesn't make any sense to me. It's
It's asinine and ridiculous
And kind of kind of horrible
(14:50):
I I considered abusive alone
That alone is abusive
it's like someone saying
You know look at my look at this cut that I have on my hand or or look at this very vulnerable thing that I have
And then someone's stabbing it like it's terrible
Well, it's kind of like they're actually like pouring gravel in it, but they think that it's pouring salt in it
(15:17):
like they think that they're
Trying to help
But what they're really doing is rubbing in unnecessary agents that could lead to an infection
And sever the relationship
And possibly damage that person
Emotionally for god knows how long
Right for life potentially, but yeah
(15:40):
Yep. Um
Anyway
Go ahead. I was gonna say did amy's article, uh, come out with positive stuff also or was yeah
So I I was actually gonna say like none of this actually applies to amy's article amy's article was not
Trauma filled than I saw at all
it was actually very like
(16:02):
tame and
And while there were some challenges that she mentioned in it
It wasn't it wasn't what we're talking about. Like it wasn't
severe
um
And maybe that's just because she only hinted at some of the difficulties between her and her family
I don't know that part
(16:23):
wasn't
Expressly stated so none of this extreme trauma
Part really applies to the article itself
her article was actually quite pleasant and
Fun to read it didn't leave me feeling like
you know, oh no, this is terrible like that that was not a
(16:44):
A part of that article. Well, good to know but you know, you know us, you know, yeah, we go places
Tangents, uh
Then roads so then on that note
Let's go to the to the third shout out that was
was kind of
Extreme and and a bit traumatizing
(17:05):
Yeah, this is this is one. I hope it's okay for me to say but this is one that I found
That um, it was very impactful to me, but it does have an enormous amount of trauma throughout it. It's incredibly
really vulnerable
Like it is all about this person's experience and what they've gone through and how it has shaped them
(17:27):
And why why their perception is the way that it is?
And so I I was really really touched by the article
But we also you know, we're it is is it time to bring up the whole?
Uh consent thing that we're talking about too. Oh, yeah, sure
So we're trying to be really good about season five with making sure consent is sexy
About making sure that we get consent from the authors that we're we're highlighting in our uh episodes
(17:52):
um, preferably before we do the episode to make sure that people are okay with us talking about their articles and
You know, we also did for season four
We did some merch with the names of all the writers that we highlighted in our episodes for season four
And we're going to hopefully do something similar to that for season five
So consent is something that we're working on and we haven't gotten
(18:13):
Like we have a form that uh tam created that um, we haven't gotten
Express consent from this author as of yet. Yeah, so so tracy three
Um, she said that she filled out the form and I don't know what happened because I didn't I didn't get the submission
For one reason or another so I I didn't feel super comfortable putting that this one on
(18:40):
the um
the thing
But it was also a little traumatic too, which is really the the big part
It's not that trauma isn't good for our podcast. We definitely do trauma all the time, but this particular episode
I felt that um
lgptq
Stuff tends to be a little heavily weighted on the trauma
(19:02):
In most places and I wanted to make this episode more relatable
And and that you know means not traumatizing everybody with the things that happen when you are in an lgbtq experience
so
And you can go and find a very um
You can find a whole bunch of places that'll be able to show you the trauma that that that lgbtq
(19:25):
Plus folks have gone through in the past several years and all of time
Or you could go to this article right here and see a whole bunch of them
Yeah, and it this
This particular article is called i'm rejecting gender in my 40s after a misogynistic catholic upbringing by tracy three
Um
It's a really well written article
(19:47):
I will say there are some parts. I don't necessarily agree with or I feel like they've gone a bit extreme
with
however, it's
You know, it's it's a an experience and I think that
for anybody who is curious about
what a
Transgendered person who has a very female looking body goes through
(20:11):
And i'm i'm on that same boat by the way. I don't really care about gender. I think the idea of gender
is
Nuanced but I don't particularly care if people see me as a girl a boy as long as i'm not a thing. I'm fine
But I think that's a good thing
I think that's fine
(20:32):
But anybody who wants to know what this experience is like should read this article
Yep, absolutely. It was um, it was very good and they have definitely been through an enormous amount
some of the positions that they've taken have been
Created because of the trauma of their past and so
You know, it kind of makes sense that they're going to be hard line about some things and
(20:54):
We didn't have those same experiences
And I think that's a good thing and I think that's a good thing because like I think the
Way that you both kind of share that i'm okay with being called a thing to be honest. I don't really super care
Either way, um me and one of my favorite streamers have both said out loud to people that like we wouldn't really
(21:15):
Be unhappy with the pronoun it for us. Yeah, I don't like it
article and I'm really glad I found it and I hope Tracy 3 finds some smiles
seems like they're doing good really I should also say I don't know if Amy
Amy didn't like give me consent either which is which is why like she didn't
(21:39):
even give me in a comment any consent there wasn't enough time so I just put
it in there as a shout out because I liked the article it was nice yeah for
the shout out articles were if we haven't gotten a consent yet we can put
them a shout out still because we want to shout out people but for anybody that
wants to give us consent to read their articles and talk about them on our
(22:00):
podcast and all this other stuff any of the articles going forward for season
five and beyond will have a link to the consent form to do that yep absolutely
Gerald why would you oh because I said I'm okay with being called it I get it
now all right that's valid all right so on to our very first article and this
(22:27):
one was also one that you discovered oh yeah that's right I did so yeah Murphy's
law a member of our discord community put out the bisexual prince was a
straight man's first crush and it was okay so disclaimer Tam cut me off if you
(22:51):
want to cut me off disclaimer this article is about game of a game of
Thrones character and there will be a few Game of Thrones spoilers in the
article so be forewarned about that but the character is one of my favorites
absolutely yeah I don't know anything about Game of Thrones and the article
(23:15):
like the parts that were about this character meant virtually nothing to me
because I have no connection to the character to the story to any of it so
it's huge like there's huge spoilers in it but I like they just go over my head
and they're not gonna connect with you when and if you ever do read or watch
(23:36):
the show I read all the books for Game of Thrones that exist and I didn't
watch the show but this character even without having seen the visual
representation was just gorgeous someone that cared very deeply about the people
that he cared about and did not discriminate when it came to bedroom
antics for an ancient time period piece by was as far as it goes and this
(24:01):
character was happily flirting with everybody and the confidence of a
person any person to be able to happily flirt with anybody is just gorgeous to
me yeah and and that's the part that I can connect with is is the idea of
finding somebody attractive that you wouldn't normally find attractive now I
(24:25):
it's it's hard for that to really be relatable to me because I'm bisexual I
don't have rules about what is normal for me to find attractive I just find
people attractive and that's what I'm attracted to but I have seen a lot of
times where there will be like I've seen on on social media I've seen
(24:47):
conversations about between men about who would you be gay for these are
completely straight men they're not attracted to other men however it seems
to be fairly common that among men there are there's there's always like one man
that you would go gay for just because of how they are there their personality
(25:13):
calls to them and I I know that this happens with women too but women are a
lot less weird about it we're not we're not like who would you go well some
people might be who would you go gay for but it's more like you know she might be
able to turn me or you know just really sometimes we treat it as extreme
(25:33):
admiration and we just know that like no you're like you love them like
obviously you would do something with them if they if there was a an
opportunity to like it's just it's fine yeah I I kind of have the belief and I
don't I wouldn't stand by it I'm not gonna fight people if they tell me that
(25:55):
they don't fall into it but I kind of the belief that everybody if they didn't
feel any societal pressures at all would be a little by a little interested in
in anybody depending on person nice man I should say pan so like the right
person dependent regardless of sexuality or gender just hits the buttons in the
(26:16):
right way and you feel those little feelings inside you know now see I can't
go down that rabbit hole because I believed for the longest time that
everyone started out bisexual and chose which one was stronger and and and I
(26:37):
like you can hear from the words and everything like that that goes down a
pretty rough road where you're like I don't know that that's someplace that we
all start at like because it's not really something any like none of these other
people feel like they chose aside right right right yeah and and so I had to
(26:59):
like kind of do away with that but I think it is it is a likely possibility
that everybody has the potential for attraction to any gender based on a
personality trait and the personalities that they're exposed to end up weighing
which gender they end up feeling more strongly attracted towards potentially
(27:25):
like that's that's something I'm like well that's maybe that's something very
difficult to ascertain like what personalities they would be more
attracted to when they're in their formative years I don't know if we can
ever actually test that but we can we can know that there are many instances
(27:45):
of people that are completely and totally straight sometimes having one or
two people that they're like you know if there was ever a chance maybe not a full
on relationship but I'd one night stand that right exactly yeah just a little
(28:07):
gay I really thought that when I thought that I was straight back in the day I
you know I still had man crushes I I've been attracted to James McAvoy for an
incredibly long time and Brad Pitt's hot but I think he's an asshole but that
might be why I think he's hot too yeah not a it's a weird I've never seen him
(28:36):
look like that but yeah uh-huh that's it who is this James McAvoy so it's not a
great honestly no offense Sturge that's not like my favorite picture of James
McAvoy there's Brad Pitt but James McAvoy was like the younger professor
Xavier in the X-Men movies he was in a few several other movies he's got really
(28:59):
big roles that I can't think of off the top of my head he was in the dune thing
way back in the day he was so there was the old old dune movie that ended with
Paul Atreides doing a thing and then there was the the mini sci-fi mini
(29:19):
series that came out that also included children of dune and you got to see later
Paul Atreides children and James McAvoy played Lado the second oh okay yeah
yeah he was hot in that I think he was young in that yeah he was really young
yeah but he's been in a lot of other stuff and I'm floored every time I see
(29:41):
him I think he's got a great acting ability he kills every accent he tries
his Hall Mac sent his hottest oh damn it I'm putting in more bleeps but yeah I've
always kind of there's always been there's always been dudes I mean there's
been a few guys in my in my actual like real-life life that Ike you know I was
(30:03):
like okay I wasn't gay I'm pretty sure but he's really cute and like nice and
like look at that smile you know so that was the initial but of course I'm
pansexual yeah I don't know I was gonna say I don't think you're I don't think
you're straight yeah I was never really I just didn't know it at the time but
(30:26):
like ghost for instance he has definitely explored the possibility of
being bi and decided like that just isn't not decided but realized that that
just doesn't actually do it for him however even he has I might go a little
gay for this for this person yeah here and there here and there like it's it's
(30:50):
not it's not a lot like it's it's really like just usually one maybe two people
and most but like yeah that would I I would it's kind of like saying I might
experiment with this again and and you know see if anything happens so yeah I
really like Murphy's story because it it touches on that it touches on on that
(31:13):
kind of almost forbidden male love kind of thing that I think that a lot of guys
actually do experience but don't feel comfortable talking about and that's
part of the reason why I was so thrilled with with Murphy's article here is
because like he's just coming out there and saying it to everybody and like
(31:34):
getting it out there and showing that like it's not weird it's not a bad thing
it's a good thing look at what this is like shown me about myself you know I
mean right like I guess I thought it was I thought it was it was very well-needed
piece of content right it's kind of a bridge to like not to have
heterosexual males become homosexual but but to have one experience is like oh I
(31:59):
bet being gay is just having this all the time and then you can understand a
little bit better like oh okay well this isn't condemning this isn't the worst
thing in the world it's not what I would choose not what I want but at the same
time I can understand you know oh and all about building bridges one last
(32:21):
thing for this article not only is the viper because that's what this person
the character's nickname is from Game of Thrones is not only is he bi but he's
also poly and we don't get an enormous lot lot of like positive poly
representation in media hmm and he is in an open poly relationship with multiple
(32:46):
people and they they they bring in new lovers and sure Game of Thrones is a
pretty toxic waste dump for the way that people treat each other in a lot of ways
but this dude and his his partners are all very wholesome towards each other
from my perspective if I remember correctly hey hate to read it and find
out that I was wrong as a side note this picture of this dude saying poly
(33:11):
glamorous relationship this I'm bro he is clearly a himbo yeah he's very pretty
but like there is nothing behind those eyes oh I love him though I love him both
but it is so he's just such a himbo poly related lammer is in related news I
(33:37):
started watching Dragon Ball recently I only say that because the Dragon Ball Z
abridged a version of Goku is the himbo is to himbo that's ever himbo'd hmm
anyway that's all moving okay so this is this is usually the slot that we have
for abuse articles and this isn't an abuse article itself but it does shine a
(34:02):
light on abuses that happen within the LGBTQ community that we don't actually
think about and it's not even it's not even really within the LGBTQ community
that these abuses are happening but rather it's it's complicated this
article is called homosexuals are endangering a long-lasting tradition by
(34:25):
I'm gonna call it nanny Hurley could be nanny could be not good apologies if I'm
mispronouncing your name and Sturge says it's nanny okay cool and the article is
a slight debate because I was like hmm because like I read that title and I was
(34:45):
like wait are we are we against same-sex marriages here yeah it does kind of have
that that sound to it so it's just a tiny little debate but the the the kind
of like the point of that if you don't mind me saying stop me if you want to is
that Brazil has had a pretty bad problem with child marriages and interestingly
(35:13):
0% of those child marriages are same-sex marriages yep that might get that right
yeah yeah and I mean that's that's the big reveal so we kind of well I mean it's
pretty early boiled a little bit but yeah the the point of the article is to
show that like there are traditions that like oh so a lot of people's arguments
(35:38):
about how same-sex marriages are bad they they often point to you know they're
destroying traditions and that's why the title is the way it is because it's
addressing that perspective of gay marriages being a destruction of
traditional values but the tradition that we're calling into question here
(36:02):
that we're really shedding the light on is it really a tradition that we want
and and this is about the Brazilian government and and and data that we get
from there because in a lot of first world countries you know child marriages
(36:23):
aren't even allowed they are illegal so we can't judge them by that but there's
a lot of places where it is illegal to be gay but it is perfectly legal for a
12 year old to get married to her pedophile abuse raper in fact there was
a reference in this article of a law that specifically allowed for a pedophile
(36:49):
rapist to yeah marry the victim and avoid being penalized legally yeah with
with second I think it included consent of the parents of the victim yeah but
even in that case like it doesn't really help the child the idea of that law is
(37:11):
basically that you know if the rapist decides to take responsibility for the
impregnate you know the child and their child then I guess it all is well but
that doesn't actually benefit them to then be under the control of the person
that took away their autonomy that took away their childhood and forced them
(37:36):
into a role they may not have even wanted right like you want to talk about
forced gender roles like what if this was a female presenting person that
didn't even want to be married or have kids or didn't feel like a female but
they were raped by a pedophile at you know 12 years old well in Brazil the
(37:58):
pedophile has the right to ask for their hand in marriage ability I don't know if
it's like a right as in Pope maybe right is a right word yeah it is because it's
a law yeah it's given to them as a right and that's kind of upsetting yeah and
(38:18):
we're going into the extreme example here but regardless of that one extreme
exam aspect of it there are a staggering number of child marriages around the
globe and this article really points specifically at Brazil but doesn't
doesn't doesn't stop from talking about the other countries that do the same
(38:40):
thing and there's a lot of data in here to do you mind if I throw out a random
number real quick sure between 2013 and 2019 a staggering 19 1,988 girls and
158 boys under the age of 15 were wedded in Brazil alone and none of them were
(39:01):
homosexual yeah exactly and that's that's the whole point of this article
that she has beautifully lined out actually let's be let's be real clear
with that last thing that you said those children could potentially have been the
marriages weren't homosexual yeah but they were not same-sex marriages right
(39:24):
exactly but yeah yeah for all we know the children themselves may have been
homosexual and and not have the ability to make any sort of decisions about who
they wanted to marry whatsoever that's unclear yeah and the the article really
takes the two different things happening in the world where the LGBTQIA plus folks
(39:48):
are being mistreated around the world and also child brides a child marriages
they should say are happening around the world too and puts them into a very
sharp light that I thought was needed very good yeah yeah so not quite a an
abuse situation that helps a lot in the first world countries but it is sort of
(40:15):
a social abuse almost in certain places and it sheds a light on the idea that
maybe maybe the traditions aren't great to begin with the ones that truly are
quote-unquote under threat because of same-sex marriages maybe traditions that
(40:37):
are good to let go of for the public health of the community as a whole not
just for children not just for homosexuals but for everybody I think it
benefits everybody if children stop being forced into marriages I don't know
if I think it was a line in this article but like the line comes through in my
(40:58):
head that's like just because we've always done something doesn't mean we
should continue to do so yeah mm-hmm yeah I want to call it a couple more
statistics that were brought up in the article real quick just because they're
they're staggering to me and I want it to be in as many public places as
possible stated yeah okay but Brazil has pretty let's say progressive laws
(41:24):
regarding LGBTQIA plus folks but regardless of the fact that they have
legal protections over there over 30% of the reported transgender people killed
that were killed in 2023 weren't were killed in Brazil almost a third of every
reported transgender murder in an entire year of course that doesn't mean that is
(41:49):
30% of all transgendered people that were killed no it's just the ones that
were reported yeah and to follow that up real quick according to transgender
Europe an organization over 70% of murders of trans and gender diverse
people happen in Latin America but it also makes sure to mention that like
(42:11):
Latin American countries report these incidents and a lot of countries and
other places do not report those instances and so you're not going to
necessarily get the full picture of what that really looks like but of the
reported ones it's Latin America that's that's doing that a lot of that and I
don't mean to like degrade the whole region I'm sure there's wonderful people
(42:32):
that love everybody in those regions and everything like that I just want to
show that it's it's a struggle for the LGBTQIA plus folks that live in that
area I think the thing is because I could have sworn just like maybe five
years ago that Latin America still had laws on the books that made it illegal
to be any part of LGBTQ like I thought that that was true like five to ten
(42:58):
years maybe so I think the issue here is that when you finally start trying to
turn that around it seems like it's getting worse because you're starting to
pay attention you're starting to report all of the damage that's still going on
while you're trying to clean it up while you're trying to change things and so
(43:20):
the other countries the what was it like 61 other countries that it's illegal to
be gay it's illegal to be any of these things that aren't the traditional
heterosexual lifestyle if those countries any one of those countries
decide they're going to change and you know make it okay and change the laws
(43:42):
and everything then they'll be the ones at the bottom of the totem pole right
because that's that's kind of the way it works the worst countries are going to
be the ones that are the most recent in their changes if they're not like
America then obviously there's some systemic problems that are deeper than
(44:02):
just making laws that are different like we we have other other problems beyond
what laws are on the books absolutely so well that was our deep heavy article
no it was deep and heavy but I feel like it was it was necessary it helps
(44:27):
it helps paint the perspective that there's no wrong answer to sexuality
there's only a wrong answer to how you treat other people yep agreed so here's
the last one and this is the one that inspired this whole episode to be LGBTQ
(44:52):
themed it was published over a week ago and when I read it I was just I was just
like nope this is this has to be on episode 1 of season 5 it just has to be
and it's by so the medium name is I Napoleon B but their actual name I didn't
(45:17):
have it and it's saved on here what is our the name
surges says Napoleon Napoleon okay I they filled out the form and then when I
because on the form I asked like what name do you want me to use for
(45:38):
merchandise and everything and they told me to use their dog's name and I'm
trying to find that that information yeah that's right
Fifi yeah Fifi or fi fi yeah I'm not sure I don't know why they wanted me to
(45:58):
use their pet name but that's that's where it is yeah it is cute adorable and
I love it so the article is called what does a true gay friend expect you to
bring into your gay friendship subtitled unfiltered unrestrained and unwavering
yeah this this really really this really kind of warmed my heart honestly yeah so
(46:24):
he found this gay friend before he came out of the closet himself yeah and I
guess for for many years I don't know how many years but for some years they
were basically a straight man and a gay man in this very close friendship and
then when he came out you know he I think at some point he went to his his
(46:52):
gay friend and and you know there was a little bit of fear that like I don't
know would would he be upset for the distance or upset at my life choices
kind of kind of thing and he's just I don't know he just describes this
beautiful friendship that I don't think that the gay part is necessarily
(47:17):
required in it for everybody because I think that there are experiences where
this happens in heterosexual relationship I think this happens in you
know women between women whether they're gay or not but I think for men
specifically it might be more difficult to find this kind of relationship
(47:40):
without without the gay mother which is what he called his friend is this this
kind of motherly presence to him yeah my gay mother and I love that I think it's
cute I think that Napoleon found an amazing person because like there's some
(48:00):
amazing people out there that are like willing to help you get through anything
and like there's a lot of people out there that are not they're only gonna
be there when it's convenient available or they're available or they have time
but to find someone that's to find someone that can still be that cool
after not talking to them for a year or two years or whatever it's rare I think
(48:24):
I will say I think it's more likely like I've had gay friends in the past and the
unfortunate thing is is I lost the ability to contact them I have no idea
how to get a hold of them because I had I was troubled I deleted numbers out of
my phone after a while because I was like they don't want to hear from me
again and I don't know how to break the silence so I guess we're just never
(48:48):
gonna talk again and I can't help but think that some of the friends that I
had especially the gay ones would have had similar responses not all of them
but some like I can I have I have like in my head like a few people I'm like
you know they probably would have been a lot more understanding than I gave them
(49:10):
credit for in my youth yeah and you know I'm kind of skimming through this article
again and Napoleon did very clearly point out that for him at least and I
assume for a lot of gay people out there there's things you can only talk about
(49:31):
with your gay friends mmm experiences that they've gone through that no one
else is gonna understand or have experienced yeah I will I will say I
knew this guy and I'm gonna I'm gonna use this real name but it's I only know
his first name anyway we called him gay Rob and he was amazing I wanted to talk
(49:56):
to other people the way I talked with him but yeah like you definitely can't I
couldn't talk to another guy that way that was bi or heterosexual because like
there'd be too much of this weird sexual tension along with it and even though I
was attracted to gay Rob because I'm attracted everybody he like it was fun to
(50:18):
just for him to be like oh yeah I know you know what I mean without there being
any any additional responsibility to that but talking to other women about
the same things that I was talking to him about was also difficult because
women often have this whole like challenge thing under like an undertone
(50:41):
of like comparing me to you and yeah and he didn't have that either so yeah I do
think there is some truth to I'm not gonna say that like you can't find that
anywhere but I think that it's it's really difficult to find that kind of
relationship in somebody who is not a gay man yeah mm-hmm and it was delightful
(51:07):
I love I love love love getting to read about relationships friendships that are
you know that close and and you know just seeing people be there for each
other like that I think it's so cute and it makes me happy
(51:28):
goodness how we doing Tam I think we're doing pretty good do you have anything
else you wanted to say about fee fees article um only that it really like made
me think of that one gay friend that got away you know well all of them honestly
but there was one in particular that like I have no idea why we just stopped
(51:51):
talking I just got too troubled to to deal with anything and then deleted his
number along with a bunch of other ones when I got a new phone and it wasn't
that I deleted the number it was like I got a new phone and then just only
ported over the numbers that I was using it was laziness that's what it was it
was laziness yeah and it's really sad and and I'm happy I'm really happy for
(52:18):
Fifi's experience I feel like a little bit like I can live a little bit
vicariously through his experience so yeah well I think that that covers a
everything I'm starting to lose my voice a little bit that sucks well not like I
don't think physically I think like the mode the gumption hmm yeah run out of
(52:45):
run out of steam Sturges gifts are on point though yeah I'd love to see him
well thank you to Sturge for being a part of the live recording yep and if
you dear listener want to be a part of the live action you could join our
discord through the invite link on the monster alley comm which also has links
(53:09):
to the Spotify the substack in the medium article thank you listeners for
coming along with our very gay journey today it's been delightful having you
here so gay I'm eternally mortal and I hope you find smiles this day and you
can find us on medium comm or through the monster alley comm th Emo nst er
(53:33):
a LLE Y.com I am the accidental monster and remember to follow yourself always
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.