The Authentic Edge: How to Show Up as Your True Self and Thrive with Lair Torrent

In today’s episode, John is joined by Lair Torrent, a highly respected holistic therapist, speaker, and author whose work has been featured on NPR, Rolling Stone, and The New York Times. As an expert in both relationships and high-performance psychology, Lair brings a unique perspective on how our mindset and emotional habits shape our success—whether at home, at work, or in life.

Throughout their conversation, John and Lair discuss essential success principles, ranging from mindfulness and self-awareness to trust-building and authentic leadership, all while drawing inspiration from the powerful lessons learned from the Blue Angels.

Key Takeaways
- (00:01:47) Mindfulness and Awareness:
Lair explains that success isn’t just about practice or repetition; it’s about showing up with the right mindset. By understanding “who in you” shows up to a task, you can shape the outcomes of critical moments. As Lair puts it: “If the wounded child in me shows up, the interview is going to go one way. But if I bring forward the professional, it’ll go another way.”

- (00:02:19) The Power of Self-Reflection:
Both John and Lair emphasize the importance of understanding the many parts of ourselves. Lair points out: “I am not just a single organism, but many vestiges of myself.” These different parts, whether rooted in childhood experiences or shaped by professional roles, determine how we approach challenges. The goal is to consciously choose the best part of ourselves in each moment.

- (00:13:16) Trust and Personal Responsibility:
Drawing from the Blue Angels’ culture of debriefs, they discuss how teams can build trust by creating a safe environment where everyone owns their mistakes. John highlights that on the Blue Angels, “We were critical of ourselves because that’s what builds trust—personal responsibility.” By being vulnerable and honest, teams can improve without finger-pointing or defensiveness.

- (00:26:02) Overcoming Imposter Syndrome:
Lair shares a personal story of feeling like an imposter when surrounded by high achievers, only to overcome it by consciously choosing to show up as his most confident and capable self. This story resonates with anyone who has ever felt out of place in a professional setting. Lair’s takeaway: “You need to know which version of yourself has access to the skills you need to succeed.”

Key Quotes:
“Mindfulness allows us to stop, push pause, and notice what we’re thinking and feeling. It gives us the power to change our habits.” 

“When you walk in your authentic self, people notice.”

Connect with Lair:
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