This episode takes an unexpected turn—what starts as a lighthearted gripe about overly cheerful school drop-off teachers spirals into a raw conversation about discipline, memory, and the invisible marks our parents left on us. Jelani and Spencer swap stories about getting punished as kids—switches in public parks, belts chosen from the closet, stomach punches that sent them flying. They laugh through the pain, but underneath it all is a deeper question: How do we honor what shaped us while choosing something different for our kids? From cause-and-effect lessons to the psychology of fear, this episode is about the delicate balance between respecting where we come from and rewriting the script. If you've ever wrestled with how your past shows up in your parenting, this one will sit with you.
Topics Covered
- The discomfort of overly enthusiastic school drop-off routines
- Childhood discipline stories: belts, switches, and creative punishments
- The emotional complexity of being right versus being heard as a kid
- How teachers remember certain students—and why
- The shift from fear-based discipline to teaching cause and effect
- Why modern kids don't carry the same fear of physical punishment
- Parenting without repeating generational trauma
- The importance of explaining lessons after discipline
- Eddie Murphy's 'Being Eddie' documentary and parenting with peace of mind
- Michael Jackson biopic trailer discourse and respecting icons
Highlight Quotes
- "I stood up to my dad and I got punched in the stomach, so I'm not really going to do this anymore."
- "My kids have no idea what a belt is for discipline. When I snap it, they're like, 'Can I try that?'"
- "You can't perform your way into peace."
Where to Find Us
Instagram: @highervalleyspodcast
TikTok: @highervalleys
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