The Cockweed Mindset: Becoming Unstoppable with Ray 'Cash' Care

In this explosive episode of The Highly Effective Man Podcast, former Navy SEAL, elite coach, and speaker Ray "Cash" Care joins host JP Bolwahnn for a no-BS conversation on what it takes to build unshakable discipline, forge a savage mindset, and lead your life with purpose.

Ray dives into:

• How growing up in chaos forged his mental toughness
• Why pain and suffering are the fuel for growth
• The “Cockweed Mindset”—a mindset that refuses to die or quit
• His 4 F-Bombs for Success: Family, Fitness, Finances, and Faith
• How to lead your family with power and presence
• Why betting on yourself is the most important investment you'll ever make

Whether you're a father, husband, entrepreneur, or man on a mission to reclaim your edge—this episode is your firestarter.

This one is raw, real, and packed with motivation.

Subscribe now and share with a man who needs this message.

🎧 Connect with JP Bolwahnn:
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Highly Effective man podcast, hosted
by former Navy SEAL turned lifeand fitness coach.
I'm your host, jp Bolwan.
This podcast is your resourcefor unlocking the healthiest,
most productive and highlyeffective man within you.
Let's go.
Most productive and highlyeffective man within you, let's
go.
What's up, guys?

(00:29):
Welcome back to the HighlyEffective man podcast.
I'm your host, jp Bolwan, andtoday I'm joined by a good
friend, a guy who pulls nopunches.
Former Navy SEAL, he's an elitecoach, he's a speaker, an
absolute savage Ray Cash Care.
You've seen him on TV, you'veheard him on other podcasts, but
today we're going to dive deepinto what men need to know more

(00:51):
than ever Discipline, leadership, grit.
Ray, welcome to the show, thankyou and for those listening.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I knew JP before he had a mustache, so how old were?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
you when we met man Shoot man, I was.
It was back in 96.
Probably I was, you know.
I showed up to the no 97.
I showed up to the team youknow with a black eye.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I know it's a little little brawler, little little
scrapper.
I remember that.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
But yeah, and I was 19, I was 19 and it's funny,
I've got probably like three orfour like good memories of you.
You know that just kind of likestand out and and one of them
was I'm walking down the hall ofthe team and I don't know if
you were on deployment or youwere gone or whatever, but then

(01:44):
I see this like guy who's youknow, just maybe a little bit
taller than me, but just likebuff dude, great hair, walking
down but it looked like you justhad like a mission going on and
I was just like who is this guy?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh, man, yeah, I miss the old, good old days.
Now I'm 53, getting gray.
We were having a conversationbefore and you know I use duct
tape to duct tape to stay, staytogether, but this is still
working.
So as long as this is going,man, I'm unstoppable, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, mindset is everything right, oh man, but
yeah, the good old days.
So one of the questions, andit's just kind of like to open
this up, right, but like what'ssomething about you that most
people don't know but need tohear.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
That absolutely came from nothing.
I came from like a verydysfunctional home.
You know, statistically theysay that more graduates of BUDS
training basic underwaterdemolition I don't know if
you've ever heard of it, it wasum comes from young men who come
from a separated family andwere wrestlers.

(02:51):
You know hardship and truth betold.
You know, I started with Idon't I can't remember what
class you were I was 200, but Istarted with Bud's class 200 and
graduated with 200.
But a lot of people don't know.
You know, baltimore native, Imean, I grew up in a very
volatile, abusive relationshipand I think that's where I
forged the mindset.

(03:12):
You know.
I mean, I think we all have it,people, it comes natural, it
comes to natural.
Excuse me, but I think othersthey have to.
You know they have to pull outthe piece of steel and they have
to.
You know they have to pull outthe piece of steel and forge it
and figure it out and thatusually comes through pain and
suffering and I dealt with a lotof that.
So, and what people don't knowright now?

(03:33):
You know they see me onInstagram as sometimes the bad
guy, the yeller.
But you know we're changing alot of lives and I will tell
everybody I'm not everybody'scup of tea, but I'm a cup of tea
.
No, it's, it's, I know, youknow like, my wife said the same
thing.
She's like why am I too latenow?
But no, it's, you know you, Icould take me, you, jocko, other

(03:55):
people, we know we can all geton the stage and say the same
damn thing, but it's going tocome across a different way.
Mine just happens to be a littlebit more abrupt and abrasive.
But my target audience, thepeople that seek me out, are the
ones that need that.
Like.
I don't, I don't work off ofpositive reinforcement, I want

(04:15):
negative I.
I feed off of the negativebecause I've learned how to
funnel and fuel it and turn itinto positivity.
If you sit here and tell me Ido a good job on things like if,
if we were to do one of yourCrossFit workouts if you tell me
I do a good job, I'm going totell you you're a freaking liar,
because I know you're smashed,because I know what kind of
shape you've always been in thatkind of shape and I'm in good
shape too, man.
But there's just, you know,that's your wheelhouse, mine's

(04:38):
pushups.
I mean, we all have ourwheelhouse.
But you know I see you cleaningall the time.
I'm like god, my arms just Ihurt just watching you clean.
Man awesome so well.
My knees are screaming nowadaysyeah, I think people just need
to understand, like, what youdon't know for me is, you know,
the suffering is what createdthe success.
And for those who that evenknow, me, right, I mean, do

(04:58):
pretty well for myself, not justfrom a monetary standpoint, but
I, I like who I am now like.
For the longest time I didn't,you know, I didn't really like
myself in the teams.
Um, we, we were, we were jerksin the teams.
We're dicks, we're cocky, wewere.
Yeah, we were young, just young.
You know, had pocket full ofmoney, great hair, you had great
hair too, you know we were, wewere chiseled.

(05:20):
You know, when we were youngerI mean women, it just yeah, it
was awesome.
But as you get older, prioritieschange, right, yeah, but the
one thing that stayed theconstant with me has always been
this mindset, and you know theway I tell people if you want to
learn how to play chess, yougot to master checkers.

(05:41):
I'm in the art of mastering thenormal to become, because once
you master that, then you canmove on to the exceptional.
You know tim grover says itbest.
You know, he's like, you know,master average to become a
savage.
You know.
So, so many like that.
I to master the, the advancedlevel stuff, when they don't
even have a handle on the basics?

(06:03):
Right, you know seven.
Performance just the basics.
Right, you have a handle on thebasics.
Right, you know seven points.
Performance just the basics.
Right.
You need to stick to the basics, the muscle memories.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, and I like it that you mentioned Tim Grover,
because I feel like there's alot of coaches out there and
there's a lot of people outthere, but it's a lot more of
the positive mindset, the morelike I'll hold your hand type
thing, where you know his bookrelentless and and those others
like, no, like you need tofucking dig in and get after it,

(06:32):
right, like there's nothing.
But it's not sugar-coated,right.
And and that's what I likeabout you too, is like it's like
you're gonna get in somebody'sface and you're gonna tell them
what's up yeah, mr grover, don'tplay games.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
He's a friend and a mentor.
I mean, I consider for I mean,I mean I can call the guy.
I actually have his number.
I call him and he picks up, buthe's always on.
You know, that's what I loveabout you know the successful he
says it's.
You know, we've we've heard itthe switch.
You flip it on, you flip it off.
He's like no, I said in podcast, you flip it on and you tape it
on what we did, what we do now.

(07:07):
I have no off button.
There can be no off button.
There's no, I don't have daysoff, even when I'm sick.
I figure out a way.
That's what creates you know.
That's what puts us at adifferent frequency than other
people.
It doesn't mean we're betterthan them, just means right now
we're willing to.
I honestly think it's suffermore, like I love to suffer.

(07:32):
Grover suffers, like you know.
I opened up for him in an event.
It was intimidating as hell.
We sat in a front row watchingme.
But you know, you know what wedo we shoot, move and we
communicate and we get it done.
And I got it done.
There was some constructivecriticism afterwards, cause, hey
, I'm always trying to sharpenthe blade, right?
Yeah, of course, um, and ofcourse you're going to take it.
You know you're getting freeadvice from someone of that
caliber who spoke on that manystages.
That's great.

(07:53):
I mean, hell, look at, look atRedmond, jason Redmond, he just
won.
Did you see what he just won?
No, he won it.

(08:20):
Oh wow.
Yeah, man, I think it was like10,000 people, jason won.
I mean, you know, we walk into aroom and we're different.
We've all like the individualsthat do what we've done in some
fashion.
We're different, we're notunderstood A lot of times, we're
not liked, but the people thatneed to understand me and the
people that I have to haveunderstand me, do the people
that don't.
I just don't give a fuck.
Yeah, you know, when I go backhome, people are like, oh, look
at you pulling up in the g-wagonand you and your wife are yeah,
man, but I'm at the gym everydamn day.
Yeah, I'm selling on christmas.

(08:41):
You, you don't.
You see the rewards of thewatches and all that stuff.
You don't see the?
You know the 20 hour days I'veput in.
And missing, you know, missingeverything.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
I've missed.
I've missed three lifetimes toget where I am right now
financially.
And now, as I've gotten older,the mindset has switched to hey,
how can we stay home and createand and generate monetary value
for you know, now I just wantto get old and lazy, you know.
But old ladies is going to thegym doing jiu-jitsu, hanging out

(09:15):
, yeah, and being in bed by 10o'clock.
You know, it's changed, is backin the day.
I wouldn't even see you out ofthe bar until 1030, 11 o'clock
and we burn it down.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh yeah, that's funny , man.
Like I think that our lives arepretty similar in a or in a
similar trajectory in a way that, like I grew up in a family
that was kind of dysfunctional.
My stepdad used to beat me,that type of thing and I think
that forged a lot of strength inme.
It was like one day I was justlike no'm done having this and I
fought back and you know, eversince that day happened, he

(09:53):
never, he never even touched meafter that and then just being
short guy in the teams smurfcrew, you know all that.
You know it's like there's a lotof similarities there and now
with, like the coaching and justtrying to be home more.
Like I was traveling a lot withCrossFit teaching around the
world and you know I have twoyoung girls and I was like man,
I just want to be home, you know, and like how can I do this at

(10:15):
home and still help people?
And you know, that's why, youknow, I created the highly
effective man and it's just allabout trying to help guys, that
to get better and just be thebest person they can be, no
matter what they're doing Right.
It doesn't have to be likeyou're not trying to become a
SEAL.
You're just trying to be thebest person.
You can be Right.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
You know I, there are so many similarities.
You know I, we got a teams.
I want to help people.
You want to help people.
You know the higher, highercaliber.
You know the name that you cameup with.
You're trying to elevate peopleto the next level.
I mean, it's it's, it's justwired in our DNA, you know, and
it's a lot of people like alwayswondered, like why are you
trying to help everybody?
I'm like, well, my quote youknow, or I'll get I don't know

(10:59):
if you've ever got it, but I getnow we get a lot of negative
criticism and I'm like hey,listen, I, I'm open to have a
constructive you knowconversation with you.
But my question is just beready.
I'm going to ask you what areyou doing?
Because if you're not creatingthings and helping other people,
you know you're either part ofthe problem or part of the
solution, right?

(11:25):
So you know people, a lot ofguys that I know in the teams
and our line of work.
You know, even afterwards,they'll go into law enforcement
or they'll go, you know, firstresponder some sort, or they
want to get into coaching,because for all those years
we've had to do what we had todo to help people.
Um, you really don't get.
You know, when we were in, youdidn't get any, any recognition
for being a SEAL.
You weren't like.
I've got like 12 pictures ofthe guy.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Like you didn't do all that shit that they do now.
No, no, you come from the home,from deployment.
There's no parade or nothinglike that.
It's just like you walk intothe team, drop your gear and you
know you go home.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yep, that was it.
No one was waiting for me.
You know, I never got the.
You know, a couple of the guysgot the overcoats from the
ladies with you know, you do,they had to get any of that.
That was just me.
And I just get to the ride tothe team and then figure out how
I was going to go get towherever I left I guess I left
my truck there or whatever itwas back in the day and go
figure out where the hell I'mgoing to live, you know.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, yeah, well, I think I mean even like when our
younger years, you kind of likethat, that team guy that I was
like looking to and like you, Ican remember you.
You were one of the guys thatput the trident on my chest.
I remember being, I canremember laying onto the bench

(12:34):
and just getting it pounded in.
I was like, oh gosh, still gotso much to where just the little
trident pins were bending uh,yep, I got my first one right
there hanging on the wall that,yeah, they've.
I had to actually cut the pinsoff yeah, and then another
memory I have is right there,when you save me, you save me
from getting my ass kicked ormaybe just getting into a fight,

(12:55):
I don't know.
We went to it was some kind ofteam guy party and you know,
like in virginia beach, it'slike you go like team guys hang
out together all the time, yeah,and, and for whatever reason, I
pissed another team guy off andyou know I'm a young guy, new
guy, and he wanted to fight me,like there in the party, and
then he took me out to like thebalcony or whatever, and you're

(13:16):
like, no, no, no, no, it's like,it's like cool down, cool down.
And then we ended up leaving andand I can't remember the guy's
name to this day, but maybe ayear later, it was like a SEAL
reunion on the East Coast andI'm sitting there talking with
like somebody else and he comesup.
He's like, yeah, you rememberme.
I'm like, no, I don't rememberyou.

(13:37):
Anyways, it was the guy thatwanted to fight me that night
but he had still whatever reason, still wanted to fight, but it
was you that got me out of thereand, you know, preventing me
from like getting into troublethat I did, probably shouldn't
and that I didn't need at thetime I probably, somebody
probably did the same damn thingfor me, so that's why I did it

(13:59):
yeah yeah but that's the cycle.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's the cycle of a frog man.
You know we do that.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
We get dialed in dumb shit again yeah, so, talking
about some struggles and mindset, what would you say is the
toughest moment in your life?
Not not necessarily like in theteams or in the seals, but but
personally.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
That tested you as a man um, I think the youngest was
when my father was murdered, at11, you know, like, and I don't
want to get, I don't want to godown the spiritual path because
it's, it's newer to me and I'mI'm starting to believe, but I,
I, I, I'm a guy that needsanswers and it's like, you know,
why did you allow this tohappen and and this to happen?

(14:49):
But yet you'll let this personand this person that are
complete pieces of trash liveforever.
So the death of my father waspretty hard.
Obviously, I was young and aswe got older, I think the
hardest thing for me to dealwith another thing just, I'm
going to switch.
I'm going to switch.
I'm going to just switch to awhole different narrative.
I know it's going to soundcrazy, but the first one was

(15:10):
getting into the teams becauseof the, just the doubting, the.
You know the negative talk.
You're never going to make it.
Everybody said that to doing it, but it was actually then
getting out, transitioning intothe civilian world.
It's hard and it's scary.
It's not hard to excel, but youknow, when you've been in the

(15:31):
teams for 12 years and you goout and you're used to, you
can't talk to people like theway you talk to people in the
teams and you know they're.
You know certain teams havemore camaraderie than the others
, but I wasn't used to peoplebackstabbing and doing things
like that, so it just caused alot of almost depression.
You know, when I got out, I wasvery depressed, and you know

(15:53):
cause.
I wanted to do something besidethe seal teams.
I was like you know, I wantedto try to get into business.
I ended up contracting, workingwith the same guys that I knew
that got out of the team.
So it's like hell, I'm back inthe teams but now I'm making a
thousand dollars a day.
This is awesome.
So yeah, yeah.
And then when I transitioned youknow moving forward, when I
transitioned out of the securityindustry altogether and said

(16:16):
you know what I'm going to?
Be an entrepreneur, you know,intrapreneur entrepreneur, and I
think probably as far as justbeing scared shitless that,
minus a couple of things thathappened in teams that's when I
was scared the most because nowI didn't know who the enemy was.
You know there wasn't.

(16:36):
Three square meals, therewasn't, you know, and you know
come it was.
It was all up he and I.
I spent a life relying on otherpeople.
Yeah, we're badasses.
But in a bar fight, when Iscreened for Green Team, they'd
be like hey, you and JP are in abar fight.
You guys are back-to-back,you're surrounded by 15 people.

(16:57):
If you get a free shot, do yourun out and try to get the
platoon or do you stay there andfight?
You know what the answer is.
You could stay there and fight.
You can't leave a man behind.
But next thing, you know, youwake up after 20, some years.
You know you're older and alittle grayer and you're looking
around and you're going holyshit, there's no one here but me
.
Now, right, and now you have awife, you have a son and all the

(17:22):
pressures on you versus.
You know if we get into a tick,troops in contact and we have
to take contact or something.
I know you got.
You know if you're here or yougot my back, I know that I'm
okay.
Now it's like, holy shit, I'vegot to take up the whole
perimeter.
I've got to, I've got to.
You know, pick it up.
And I mean the great thingabout you know type A
personalities is we pick shit upfast.

(17:44):
You know, and you know mybiggest fear is just, you know,
being average and dying, and andand dying for nothing.
So you know, I just said screwit, I'm jumping in, I'm diving
in, I'm not even gonna see howdeep the water is and and let's
crush it, and we're not lookingback.
Man, I mean it's busy, it'shectic, but you have to learn

(18:04):
how to control.
I've learned as I've gottenolder how to control the tone
and the pace, like I don't letit control me.
Like Whenever you're coachingsomeone and they're doing
crossfit and they start gettingcrazy.
A coach told me once controlthe breathing, don't let it
control you.
Yeah, so I'm a control freak.
I try to control as much as Ican and you think about it.

(18:25):
I control the time I get up.
I get up to five o'clock.
I control the time I go to bed.
I control what I, what I eat,which I control, how I lift,
which controls you know 99% ofunless I get ill how I look.
What I can't control is otherthings.
If I get in the car and I'mdriving and someone hits me, I
can't control that.
So I try to.

(18:47):
You know, the mindset I have isI am going to control as many
little things as I can in mylife to live as long and as
healthy as I can.
Right, you know I see people inthe gym that are overweight.
You know, I used to just belike, oh look, you're fat.
But now I'm like I want to knowthe story of how they got
behind.
How did you get so far behind?

(19:08):
What physical, mental andemotional distress turmoil got
you here?
Physical, mental and emotionaldistress turmoil got you here?
Or is it just a physical, amedical condition?
That who knows?
So?
And, like I said, as I've gottenolder, I've really taken a,
taken a step back and try tolook in versus.
You know, I used to just lookout and go holy shit, whatever,

(19:30):
you know, and I think that'sreally helped me.
Just my tonality, you know youget, you're like I'm like a
bottle of wine, even though I'vegot whiskey.
You know, the older, the olderit gets, the better it gets
right, you know.
So I just I think people needto take that approach.
You know, like I used to justassume all the time that was.

(19:52):
You know that was the thing isthe team, and In a SEAL team, we
react, we strike hard, strikefast.
Cobra Kai right, that's prettymuch Cobra Kai was made after us
Really was.
But then I just had a coursewhere I have Chuck Liddell,
who's a good friend of mine,where if you see Chuck, chuck
will step back and hit somebody.
He's stepping back and he'sstill hitting and making it

(20:12):
happen.
I've learned how to step backand still hit versus just
running towards it, and I thinkit's it's something that you
know.
If your listeners are arelistening to, hopefully they can
relate to some nugget that I'msaying, because we all have self
doubt, we self-sabotage, wedoubt our self-worth at times.

(20:33):
Then we also and the decisionmaking process.
It's a three-step process ask,make and take.
A lot of times we don't reallyask, like what's the problem, we
just make a decision and actreal quick, like road rage.
You know my wife will bedriving down the road, give you
the finger and I'm like, do they?
Like he doesn't look to see,hey, he was really built right

(20:54):
and it comes up to a park.
You know, and it's happenedlike three times.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
And you're sitting at the stoplight right next to
each other.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
And you're a giant compared to my wife.
So it's like come on, babe.
So you know, I think my mindsetis I've slowed it, even though
it still moves very fast, right,going in, kicking in doors.
I've learned how to processthings much smoother transition,
ask, make, take, right.
You can't leave vital steps outof anything.

(21:21):
Think about, like, just doing alift, a proper lift, like if
you do a clean, if you'reteaching, there are steps that
you have to do and you don't doit right, there's going to be
ramifications.
I all I did is I took what Ilearned from the SEAL teams, you
know, combat and all the stuffwe used to do and I just
transitioned it over into thecivilian world.

(21:43):
Because men, women, we all deal.
We all have three battlefieldsof life.
We have the internalbattlefield, which is the
internal struggle business andhome.
Right Business and home.
That's where you have problems.
We all know that, the fourpillars of success that we
should our teamwork, problemsolving, leadership and
communication.
But then we infuse that with myfour F-bombs my family, my

(22:03):
fitness, my finances and myfaith.
And the faith doesn't even haveto be believing in him.
I tell people, if you want to besuccessful, you have to believe
in yourself.
Like I have a shirt that I wearwhenever I'm on stage.

(22:24):
I wear it all the time.
It says I bet on me.
You know so many people.
The mindset they have is like Idon't play the lottery when I
go to Vegas.
I don't gamble, just don't.
I'll gamble, I'll get.
I'll gamble on myself, I'llplay the lottery on myself.
I'm not waiting for you know.
You know people are like oh man, you know you're, I can't
believe you won the lottery.
It's, it's luck.
You didn't do anything, it'sluck.
But you can also go out andcreate your own luck.

(22:47):
That's, that's what I do.
So that's where I've changed.
You know I used to wish, wishand want.
Now I make and take change.
You know I used to wish, wishand want.
Now I make and take.
I make and take action.
If you start making and takingand and really believing in
yourself and focusing on thefundamentals that I talked about
the three battlefields, thefour f-bombs and the four
pillars yeah, I like that,become unstoppable.

(23:08):
That's the thing you.
You can't kill someone thatrefuses to die you can't.
That's why they call they callme the cockweed.
I have a shirt that says Iidentify as a cockweed Tim.
Tim Kennedy and Eric Anderscalled me that.
They put me through one oftheir fucking CrossFit workouts
and I, literally laying there onthe ground at my you could hear
my heartbeat.
I was going to die.

(23:28):
You know, these guys are likeworld-class athletes.
And Tim pokes me with a stickand I just go like this and he's
like you're like a fuckingcockweed.
I'm like what he's like?
You're half garden, halfcockroach, half garden weed.
You know, think about, step ona cockroach, it doesn't die.
You pull that weed right yeah,it comes back on the back.
So when I speak now, I tellpeople develop the cockweed

(23:49):
mindset I can't.
I can't be stopped, I can't bekilled.
I'll find a way and once you dothat, that's what's going to
set you above the rest.
Right, I'll give you an example.
I just got off the phone beforeI talked to you, the CEO his
name's Jeff of Everbowl.
You ever heard of Everbowl?
It's an IE place.
They have about 90 locations inthe country.

(24:10):
My daughter applied for the job.
I know the boss, you know verywealthy, hey, I mean the founder
of it, right, right, and sheshowed up.
I said I want to.
I said I'm going to teach youhow to stand above the rest.
So she, she, she wore like anice long dress when other girls
look like shit, no offense.

(24:30):
She was very, you know filledout the application, did
everything and then, after sheapplied for the job, I had her
fill out a thank you.
Now she didn't get the job andI was bummed and I asked him why
.
And he goes.
You know what?
I'm gonna find out.
The only reason she didn't getthe job is because they were
looking for someone with morehours.
But he said in three weeksthey're going to ask her for a
job.

(24:52):
So what I did even farther afterthat and this is what more
people need to start doing iswhen you don't like, let's like
case in point you know, I knowyou do.
You do coaching.
I don't just pick anybody Like,even if they have the money for
my coaching things, I don't.
I don't have, I don't have toaccept them.
I don't have to be your friend,I don't have to, and you don't

(25:12):
have to do all your things.
But what you should do as aleader a leader who looks out
and up you're a visionary isinstead of down and in.
As I said, my daughter's nameis Nyla.
I said, nyla, you didn't getthe job right.
They were like sorry, youdidn't get the job.
They left.
You know it was an email.
I said, baby, write them and askwhy, like so many people, don't

(25:39):
take it far enough, they don'tgo deep enough.
Like you know, if there'ssomething, I'll give the example
.
You have a goal and dream likeI want to be an av seal.
Why not you right?
No, you did it.
Why didn't you do it?
Well, well, what well, whatwell.
I just thought it'd be hard.
I'm like, and the thing I I tellpeople with the mindset is if
you know like and these arepeople I you've heard as well as

(26:01):
I have that's their dream,their goal in life.
Yeah, and if so, quick to giveup on your fucking dreams in
life.
The real question, jp, the realquestion is what things are you
giving up on that you don'teven realize you know like?
And that's the mindset andpeople tell me and I know you've
heard to your extreme, you'reover the top.

(26:22):
So be it.
You know the people that needto understand me.
They do, and you know why.
Because the people, every singleperson I surround myself with,
is bigger, better, faster andstronger than me.
The people, every single personI surround myself with, is
bigger, better, faster andstronger than me.
I surround stuff and I don'tpick people who are just rich.
I pick people who are subjectmatter experts as schmies and

(26:43):
everything they do in their life, because how else am I going to
get better?
Right, there's only one mancreated everything, and you know
he's.
He's up there somewhere.
What I do, man, you know weused to wear the eights gear,
and you know he's.
He's up there somewhere.
What I do, man, you know weused to wear the eights gear and
you have different pieces ofequipment in there.
I'm gonna learn something fromyou.
I'm gonna put it in that toolbag.
I'm gonna learn something fromsomebody else and when I learn

(27:04):
damn right, I'm gonna use it.
Like if you give me crossfittips because I'm lifting again
and stuff like hey man, I've gottennis elbow, how can I?
You'll tell me I'm an idiot ifI don't listen to you.
And the problem is so manypeople are so so quick to
dismiss things that they thinkthey they really want.
The question is like I'm goingto just go back to buds.

(27:25):
I keep that kind of keeps beingmy.
My focal point is I mean, 148of us started.
We only had like nine originalmake it.
I mean we had like 50 make it,no, but nine.
It's the difference between thewant and the need.
But I take it beyond that,right, because I'll ask people
raise your hand, who wants to besuccessful, right?

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
It's not enough.
You have to be 1000% obsessedObsessed.
You didn't become a SEALbecause you wanted to, because
you needed to.
You did it because you werefucking obsessed with it.
You became a firefighterbecause you were obsessed with
it.
You married a woman that youhave no business being with.
Just like I did no offense,I've seen your wife, and I mean

(28:10):
that because you were obsessedwith making it happen.
I told my wife the first nightI met her at the tuna shut up.
What a monday night monday nightbattle is there.
I told her you're gonna be mywife and she was like biggest
pickup line I have.
Because here's the thing andthis is what I want your
audience to know.
When you fucking know you knowI can't describe it like I knew

(28:33):
that I would be a Navy SEAL Now,I knew it was going to take a
lot of work.
I knew that I was going tobecome an entrepreneur and make
a certain amount of money.
When you know, and when youinfuse that with betting on
yourself and like just you know,being the cockweed, refusing to
die, refusing to give give up,refusing to fucking settle yeah

(28:58):
you can't do man like case inpoint, you know how I'm gonna
end up probably having a heartattack and dying, competing
against the frog man, doingsomething like crossfit with a
guy that I know better shapethan me, or doing jiu-jitsu, or
doing the things that I lovebecause I am 53 as far as paper
goes, but in my mind I'm not.

(29:20):
I repeat, like people ask mewhat's your goal and dream, I
will be the next jack lelaine,if do you know who that is?
yeah, yeah hell yeah those thatdon't know was the juicer.
He died at like 86 or 87.
He would pull tractor trailerswearing a Sergio Tecatani.
He was actually a verywell-known chiropractor too.
I'm not going to be achiropractor, I don't have the

(29:40):
brains for that, but he justlived the life.

Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, and you know, what's crazy about Jack is that
he put out videos that today arestill relevant, and you know
it's like yeah, it's all To thebasics.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
you know.
Just, I honestly believe thatthe world is so fricking
complicated that if you want tosucceed, you just need to learn
how to keep it basic.
You mean seven points ofperformance shooting.
I don't know the.
You know I was a SEAL, right.
I don't know the first thingabout ballistics.
I'm a gun company.
Nine millimeter takes ninemillimeter.
I don't know the.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
You know I was a SEAL right.
I don't know the first thingabout ballistics.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
I own a gun company.
Yeah, nine millimeter takesnine millimeter, a hundred and
some grain.
Just lower the grain.
You know you want higher grain.
I got it, other than thatbarometric pressure.
I wasn't a sniper.
Were you a sniper?

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
See, I don't know that shit.
If, if it's Whitney, I'm justgoing to call it an airstrike.
There's two ways to skin thecat versus.
You know you're talking withthis shit over here.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
That works for me and what I tell people that
especially if you know you'vegot an audience is is I never
dismiss ideas, right.
My mindset is I will always,even if, like, if you want to
tell me something, I've alreadyheard it, I'm going to listen to
it again because you may saysomething in a way that it just

(31:03):
it relates to me, right?
Yeah, there's instructors thatI want to work with and I'll pay
with, and there's instructorsthat I wouldn't pay.
I wouldn't have them pay me towork with them.
It's all in how you show up,man, and that's I think that's
half the battle.
Showing up, like you know.
I'm looking at you, you'relooking at me.
Life resume here it is right.
Right, there ain't no fat.

(31:23):
There ain't a gut down here.
There ain't a gut, there's nogut.
Yeah, now at 53.
And.
But I also won't allow peopleto give me props that I don't
need.
I'll give you an example.
I know I'm talking a lot here.
No, it's all good.
One of my biggest pet peeves isthis you look great for 53.

(31:46):
It's as simple as this I eitherlook great or I don't.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Right.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
You look great for it .
No, don't, don't put me in acategory of greatness.
Then compartmentalize it withage.
It's either wow.
You know I want someone to lookat me and go holy shit, you're,
I get it a lot.
You're 53.
Yeah, you know.
When did you get in shape?
At birth?
You know I started, I startedworking out in 10th, ninth grade

(32:11):
of high school because I wasgetting picked on and I realized
that, you know, I startedbuilding confidence because this
is your life resume.
I don't care what you say, jp,I've known you for over 20 years
.
When you first met your nowwife, you were not attracted to
her personality.
You weren't attracted to her.

(32:32):
Her mind you were.
You were attracted to herresume, which was her body,
right hair, the nails that mywife batted, right, that's the
initial yeah you got to go in.
And then the, the levels and thelayers, the depth right of of,
of the discipline that you know,if she's a like my wife was

(32:54):
already a mother and this andthat like, and then do your, do
your cultures align and do yourbeliefs align?
And then all this, I mean I seecouples that get married and
one's a Democrat and one's aRepublican, one's a diehard,
this and like I'm not.
I don't want that, like.
I want to marry somebody thathas the same values as me or
will at least be able to agreeto disagree on things.

(33:16):
But you know it's, it's insaneJust how I I see how this
country has changed.
Think how much this country haschanged since me and you were
in teams.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
We go out in a Connix box and I know what's going to
happen You're going to end upwhooping my ass.
But still I would take my asswhooping.
We would.
We would probably not talk andthen afterwards be like dude,
can we just go get a beer andjust drop this?
Now it's so.
It's now it's everybody'strying to screw everybody over.
Take the tridents from them.
It's like yeah, yeah, I asked.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
I asked a couple buddies about this.
I was like you know, back inthe day, yeah, you would go out
in the conics box, whatever,take care of it.
Like nowadays, it's likesomebody's getting fired left
and right, somebody's, you know,selling somebody else out.
You know this and that and it'sjust like you know, it's not
what it used to be, it's still.
I mean, guys in the teams areawesome.

(34:09):
You know they're getting afterit.
It's just it's a little bitdifferent nowadays.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
That's for sure.
There's no more roach coachesand just going at La Fiesta.
Now it's like they have healthfood and all this.
We just you know you work withwhat you have, you know, right.
I mean, just look at the gearthat we had.
We get a bivy sack and diebecause you would like sweat to
death in the freeze.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Now they've got like climate control, it's, it's, oh
yeah, everybody's got nods,everybody's got like the latest
gear they've got oh it's, it'spretty nuts.
You know, you look at theamount of technology in the last
20 years that that the platoonshave now and it's just like
it's mind-blowing and the kindof stuff that they can do now is
insane, oh, and I'm not sayingwe don't have badasses still in

(34:57):
our teams.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
I'm just saying we had badasses in the teams that
didn't have a fraction of whatthey have now you work with oh
yeah, for sure.
You know, I think now it's veryeasy.
I mean I can shoot a gun arounda corner now if I want.
It's insane, the things that wehave.
I can shoot a gun around acorner now if I want with my,
you know, with I mean it'sinsane, the things that we have.
So but the message I think toeverybody is just the mindset,

(35:21):
Like, if I can keep honing in onone thing, it's it starts with,
like my, my four F-bombs arekind of like a house right,
Think of the foundation and the,the faith, whether that's
believing in your.
You have to believe in yourself.
But if you want to believe in ahigher power I don't want to
get into that with anyone, butyou could have a $2 million
house, right.

(35:41):
But if you have a shittyfoundation, what happens to that
house?
Eventually it crumbles.
So we focus on the foundationof believing in yourself.
Man, Like if you know, you knowand I'm a real big one, you know
we have this thing in a SEALteams called a dive buddy.
You know I still have a divebuddy.
It's my wife, you know she'll.

(36:01):
She'll push me to the ledgewhen I need a little extra push,
but then she'll pull me off theledge when I want to do
something stupid, like buy meshe's like you know, so I just
that's the mentality that I have.
I take a lot of the lessonsthat I learned in teams from the
platoons and stuff and I applyto the house.
I mean, well, me and my wifeare driving.
I'll be like, hey, how are wegood?
She's like clear, right, youknow you know she'll.
She'll call all sides.

(36:22):
You know my daughter, you knowshe'll be.
You know do it.
Will we go for walks?
You know I'm not gonna get this.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
That's great with the , the sand language but it's.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
My point is is what I've developed and learned,
crafted and mastered.
I'd be a selfish prick if Ididn't pass it on to them Now.
Do they use it all the time?
No, but I want them to havethose same tools in a tool bag
if they can.
My daughter's 16.
She can shoot.
My wife's doesn't matter howold.
She can shoot, right.
So I'd rather them have it, notneed it.

(36:56):
That not have it.
And and or have it or not haveit and need it.
So it's that simple and that'sjust how I look at things.
You know people are like Ican't believe you.
You know your daughter doesjujitsu.
If you're going to attack awoman, you're either going to
knock her out and she's going tofall to the ground or you're
going to try to take her to theground.
So, yeah, I don't want to.

(37:16):
I don't, I refuse to be astatistic or a victim and I
refuse for my, my family, theones I love, and if people can't
get in with that, on thatbandwidth and I don't need them,
you know.
I mean you, then I don't needthem.
You know, I mean, I don't knowif you've seen the specials and
I watch how I talk about thisbut the sexual predators you
know how a lot of times theygauge who they're going to go

(37:39):
after.
They look at the male rolemodel in the family.
I've heard that yeah, it's true, I can't remember his name.
There was a thing on it.
So, as a man, as a fatherno-transcript.

(38:09):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, allthat our job is to become the
savage servant.
Case in point right, if I wascoming at you and your family,
imagine this you're sittingright there, okay, right where
you're at you're, you're sittingon a park bench and your wife's
playing with the kids in thegrass, about 15 feet away from
you, in front of you.

(38:29):
Obviously you're watching them,right, and you see somebody
like me walking at them in anaggressive manner.
What are you gonna do to do?
I'm not saying anything to them, but what would you do?

Speaker 1 (38:38):
Oh, I'm definitely getting up and putting myself in
between.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
In between, right, and if we go to battle with each
other, see, people think it'sbecause you're a savage.
It's not, it's because you're a, a servant.
So the savage is what comes out, but the servant is what steps
up.
Right, I talk about that, thedouble-edged sword, the savage
shirt.
I actually have my seal knifeover here.

(39:02):
That, uh, andy from half facemade me.
And the point is is, and Idon't know how you did it, but
you asked her, she chose you,right, you, I don't know, did
you take a knee, can you?

Speaker 1 (39:15):
still, could you still take a knee and ask her.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Right, I asked her.
I mean look, I mean it'sthere's, there's my wife right
there.
Right, yeah, you asked her, shechose you.
And when you, she chose you.
She chose you because you haveduties and responsibilities as a
man that you must do, andsociety has allowed these men
nowadays to not have to performas much.

(39:41):
That's, that's unexcelled youknow, and that's why certain men
stand out in a crowd more thanothers.
You know, it's because andyou'll see it a couple of years
ago they were playing thatknockout game.
Knockout game.
I don't know if you heard about.
The kids were walking aroundand knocking people out.
Yeah, seven years ago there waslike five guys in front of me

(40:01):
and these couple of this we werein Maryland A couple of guys
were like giving them crap.
You know, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm walking with my wifeand always keep her on the
inside and this and that and theinside and this and that, and
they were talking trash to them.
They looked at me and it wasabout five of them.
They said, hey, what's up?
And I'm like, let's go, man.
And they left me alone and mywife said how come they'll mess
with five guys and not you?
And the guys were bigger thanme.
I'm like because they know thatI'm ready and it's not.

(40:24):
I wasn't disrespectful, Ididn't give them like the look,
it was just enough.
They saw me move her and stuff.
I'm ready, I'm ready.
And most men are not average men, are not willing to deal with a
savage servant.
They're not Totally.
You have to be prepared.
That's why I'm doing two hoursa day of jiu-jitsu and I still

(40:48):
have to go to the gym after thisday and I have two hours of
wrestling practice tomorrow,which is killing me.
I love this dude.
That'm gonna tell you the truth, jp.
I got injured a few years ago.
I finally got stem cell, but Ibecame a victim.
Hey, I'm getting older, I don'tneed to be in shape.
Blah, blah, blah.
And you know mitch aggie.

(41:08):
All right, mitch, I don't, Imean I might, but he all
smashing frog, big fighter.
He was like bro, you got themoney, you got the step, so you
feel good.
He said it'd be like youtalking to me.
He's like you're fuckinghypocrite and it hurt man and
like listen when you're wrong.
You're wrong, right.
Like yeah, it was just like notthat much.
And he could kick my ass and Iwas like you're right.

(41:30):
I said what do I do?
He's like you get your ass inhere and you start training
every day.
I mean I've already gotten twostripes.
I mean I'm addicted.
He says you should be addicted.
We're discipline junkies.
He's like you know, fourstripes, another belt.
Four stripes, another belt.
He's like you're just keep.
You've been doing it your wholelife and it your whole life,

(41:55):
and I peaked.
So after I get you, know he,I'll get my black dot.
I'll see you in eight yearsafter that.
It's got to be something else.
I'm never going to stop yeahneither can you like.
you'll be 80 years old andfucking doing crossfit and
killing people, and that's thething I guarantee I can put you
an event and you're crushingkids half your age.
I know you can, I know you will.
Nothing is with you.

(42:17):
You're still the same guy thatwon't quit, won't die and won't
stop.
And when you start that, youstart learning, earning and
burning every day.
There's nothing you can't do.
You can afford the expensivewatches in this if you want that
, but you have to dial yourselfin first.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
that's it no, no, I agree with that man.
I mean, I think you hit on alot of things about it's.
It's all in the mindset, right,just not quitting.
And even, like you know, I feellike a lot of people look at
seals and like, oh wow, you knowlike navy seals, this and that
and you know, but really it's,it's the mindset that was

(42:58):
created in us, or I don't knowif you're like born with it or
what, but like you go throughsome shit and you develop this
mindset and it's hammered intoyou about being in the teams and
this and that you're workingaround other high performing
individuals that you can't helpbut learn to live that way.
And then, when it goes away youwere talking about this too

(43:21):
like a little bit of a struggleof like trying to find yourself
and like I'm not around thosepeople.
And then that don't, that,don't quit.
Mindset comes back up and it'slike, ok, I'm going to figure
this out, I'm going to make thiswork.
However, however it takes, canit can be challenging, that's
for sure.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
I think we all have it.
I think we're just a few thathave been chosen or lucky or
blessed enough to have foundthat mindset that we have.
I think we all have it.
It's like the seed.
I honestly feel in my head.
There's like a seed here andthrough pain and through trauma
and through turmoil, it's likewe nick away at it, right, and a
lot of people, after the painstops, they just okay, well,

(44:00):
they just if that hurts, I'm notgoing to do it anymore.
But a few of us just, whetherit's self-induced or it's
external, you know, abuse inrelationships or whatever, it
just keeps coming.
And then when it hits that seed, it just grows.
And then when and I will tellthis right now to someone when
you achieve something, no matterhow big or small, it becomes

(44:22):
addicting.
You know, like I tell a lot ofmy because I have a coaching
group too when I tell guys, youknow you want to get in shape,
give it about a month.
And then when you put onsomething and all of a sudden it
just feels a little tighter ormama bear goes, damn.
You know it's worth it.
Like, think about the pain wewent through.
All I did was when I got thattrident, that's all that

(44:44):
mattered, I mean, and that eventhat sucked.
Getting it, you know, jumpingin the water, I mean, we were at
the same place, getting out andgetting your ass handed to.
And the question is is is thestruggle worth the success?
And I'm here to tell you fuck,yeah, it is, yeah.
No, I don't, no matter how bigor small, like, you don't have

(45:08):
to be a navy seal.
Literally be the navy seal ofwhatever it is you do in your
life.
Be the tier one operator, bethe subject matter expert, be
the person seal of whatever itis you do in your life.
Be the tier one operator, bethe subject matter expert.
Be the person that literally islike and be the best at what
you do.
Like I've got a buddy of minenext door that works in finance.
He's like man, I always wantedto be a navy seal, but he makes
a fortune.
I'm like, dude, you make agreat money.
Yeah, I'm like, be the best atit.

(45:29):
Like, don't just go.
Like, you have a job makinghuge six figures.
You were blessed.
There's people that literallyhave nothing and you're
complaining because you wish youwere something else.
Or you tell them hey, go, tryto get a waiver and do it.
Well, that'd be stupid.
Well then shut up man, shut upRight.
Most out of what you have.
You know, or need to learn andunderstand.

(45:51):
They should be grateful forwhat they have, not greedy.
You know?
Um, true, and you know, stopliving in another P.
The last piece of advice I'llgive you is stop living like.
You know Al Bundy right, all hetalks about was what he did back
in the day.
You know, like, when I get upand speak and I love a lot of
the other team guys they'll getup there.
They have 45 minutes to talk.
They'll tell you who they arefor 30 minutes.

(46:12):
Like, do your research.
This is who I am.
This is why I'm here.
Let's get to work like.
I'm here to work like I lovethe sean ryan.
I love sean.
I know sean's real last name.
Everybody's like, go on seanryan show.
I don't want to talk about whatI've done.
If you want to talk about whatI'm doing or where I'm going,
yes, that's not sexy.
What's sexy is firefights inthis.

(46:33):
I don't do, and it seems Ididn't have any.
I don't lie, I didn't.
Yeah, got a little cup, fewthings in the cia, but we don't
talk about it.
But what am I doing now?
I'm changing lives, workingwith kids, working with fathers,
working with entrepreneurs, youknow, doing this, doing that,
giving to churches, that's theshit that matters, man, and the
trailer, man, that you wear iswho made you who you are now.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
You know, yeah, no yeah, it's funny because you
talk about that and you know,sometimes I have this internal
struggle where it's like, youknow, I want to talk about the
teams, or you know people.
Actually I would say morepeople want me to talk about the
teams than I want to talk aboutthe teams yeah, because they
find it fascinating and this,yeah, and and it's like, yeah,

(47:20):
like that's a part of my life,but like what I'm focused on and
what I'm trying to do right now, like it's a part of that,
because there's a lot of lessonsfrom being in the teams and
playing high level sports andstuff like that, but it's like
that's a part of my life.
But then there's also likebeing a dad there's, you know,
playing sports, there's allthese other things that have

(47:43):
created who I am today.
Right, but everybody alwaysjust wants to go back to the,
the team's thing, and it's likeit's there's an internal
struggle.
Internal struggle is like, okay,how much do I want to talk
about that and how much is it,you know, necessary to talk
about?
Right, because there is somevaluable lessons, but there's
valuable lessons in everydayactivities, right.

(48:04):
So you said I hear you, yeah,so, speaking of that, right,
your husband, your husband, yourdad, right, like, what are some
of the things that you do whenyou feel like maybe I fucked
that up right?
How do you deal with some ofthose setbacks?

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Well, I guess it depends on the severity of the
setback.
I mean, are we talking likesnapping at a wife?
Are you talking about what bemore specific?

Speaker 1 (48:35):
I would say, like something that maybe feels like
oh shit, I shouldn't have donethat.
Or like there's a failure insome way, that you're feeling
down on yourself like how do youbounce back from that?

Speaker 2 (48:47):
I guess, well, I mean , as as a husband, me and my
wife have a great.
My wife's my best friend, soyou know she sees sides of me
that no one else will.
Right, I'm not going to go, I'mnot going to be crying on her
shoulder watching Steelback,nolias and shit.
But you know, there are timeswhen you know, I think a true
strength, a true man's strength,is when he can be vulnerable,

(49:09):
when he can admit mistakes.
So I think there's a time and aplace for it.
But I think when I well, notwhen I think I know that when I,
you know, if I fuck up, if Imake a failure, you know I don't
mind failing right, and I'm thebiggest quitter that you've
ever met.
But I quit the right things, notthe wrong things.
Or meaning the right thingsthat I quit were like drinking

(49:31):
and other things like that, andthe wrong things are just
throwing in a towel in marriagewhen things get bad.
But for me it's all aboutcommunication.
You know, when things go bad, alot of times we bottle it up
and then next thing, you knowwhen they actually think we're
exploding, we're actuallyimploding.
So for me, when I fail or I dosomething you know I'm real big

(49:51):
on having AARs, you know, dailyor weekly report.
I know you know what that is,but it's kind of like a weekly
review on things and that'sreally helped me out.
But I mean because, listen, man, jp, you know, you know success
is failing.
Until there's no hesitationLike I'm going to, I'm going to

(50:12):
fail, I'm just not not gonnaquit on myself.
I've lost astronomical amountsof money.
That's been hard on investmentsand things like this.
I mean anybody that tells youthey don't fail, they don't
struggle, they're full of shit,all right, it's.
What are they willing todivulge?
But you have to have an outlet,not not an out, not not not
punching bag and outlet someonethat you can, you know, discuss

(50:36):
things with and like get outsideperspectives and I have a few
mentors like that too.
But I'm real big on that.
Because if I bottle it up, man,I start going crazy and then
it's, I start what if?
And right, why is this guy?
Why is that?
Yeah, what if, what if?
And when you start what if?

(50:59):
And you start doubting yourself, I and the biggest piece of
advice I could say is nip it inthe butt before the self-talk
and the self-sabotage and kicksin.
That's what I try to do, causethat's what the inner voice is
going to take.
The inner voice becomes a bitch.
So it's all about justcontrolling the narrative as
much as you can.
And then, once you do that, Ifeel that it opens up other

(51:23):
avenues, your peripheral opensup wider and it just gives you a
different perspective andoutlook.
And then, when you do that, youknow, okay, I'll bounce back.
I'm back at it.
You know what I mean.
I got the whiteboard rightthere.
Believe me, I'm writing shitall the time.
What's so great about erasingis you can always write it back
up there, right, and I don'tsell.
That's what I do.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Yeah, no, it's true.
When you say controlling thenarrative, I mean it's our
thoughts, right.
Our thoughts control everything.
And if, if you think negativeabout something, you're just
going to have negative feelings,negative actions, right.
If you're learning, like what'sthe bright side or what's the
lesson here, you know and you'regoing to progress and you're

(52:01):
going to have positive actionfrom that, right, Speaking on
like discipline, fitness, evenhigh performance.
So obviously you train, look atyou, right, and you got your
shit dialed in.
What are, like some of thecurrent, I guess,
non-negotiables for you.
You kind of mentioned them alittle bit, but like that keeps

(52:22):
you dialed in and keeps yougoing.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Well, I mean, everything that I do is I just
apply the key component to whatis success.
It's committing and stayingconsistent.
So I do that with everything.
I believe in time phase,training, time phase with
everything.
So I get up and, let's say, Icome up with a nutrition plan.

(52:49):
I'll do that for 90 days.
I'll get up the same time, I'lleat the same fucking thing,
I'll make sure I hit the gym,make sure I'm doing this and
I'll adapt.
And after those 90 days, I'lldo that aar assessment on myself
and I'll tweak and modify.
And when I'm tweaking andmodify, and here's what you need
to understand, like, have youever been hurt or injured?
Right, yeah, yeah, I have.

(53:10):
Yeah, so you, some, you need tounderstand that sometimes you
have to take one step back, totake 10 steps forward.
All right, but I just, you know, I I dive my plan and I plan my
dive, right, I plan my dive,dive my plan.
You've heard that, um, and I'malways ready for a contingency.
Uh, contingency meaning there'salways going to be, I'm always
going to have to flex, there's.

(53:32):
There's no such thing as aperfect anything, right, right,
like I said, how do I staydisciplined?
I'm a control freak.
I control what I put in my body, what I what comes out of my
body, to a point right, you knowmy going bathroom.
I control what I wear, who Isurround myself with and I
control my attitude and theeffort that I put forth.

(53:53):
Because to be a part of a team,a real team, there has to be
trust, effort, attitude and amission.
Right, you got to trust inyourself, trust in your brothers
, trust in whatever the obstacleis that you want to accomplish,
trust that you can do it.
Trust is the easiest thing tolose and the hardest thing to
build up.
Effort Just don't put a, don'tput a number on it, don't cap it

(54:16):
out.
Give me everything you got.
Attitude there's two kinds.
You either show up with a goodor bad.
Nothing will open and close thedoor faster in business and
life than a good or bad attitude.
And M is mission.
Mission is growth.
You figure out what that is andonce you know, once you hone
that in and you become like team, team Ray, that team care,

(54:36):
we're just unstoppable.
I keep using that word.
What's my favorite word?
Like we're unstoppable.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Yeah, dude, it's a great word.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Making moves.
We're making money.
We're making a difference.
That's what it's about.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Yeah for sure.
Now what about the guy thatsays I don't have have time?
What do you say to that guy?

Speaker 2 (54:55):
I tell him he's full of shit, go to bed earlier, get
up earlier.
I mean, the thing is, peoplethat don't have time, what they
really don't have.
What you have to ask yourselfis you're right, you don't have
time?
You don't have time to keepdoing what the fuck you're doing
?
Right time is the most preciouscommodity we have.
It's unknown.
You know.
We all know that we're going toget older and we're going to

(55:16):
die, but we don't know when.
So my thing is every day, changethe narrative.
I honestly feel that the fitteryou are, the longer you live.
So you're telling me you can'tput 20 minutes a day into that.
I guarantee I could write ajournal with them for two weeks
and I could literally free uptwo hours of their day.
It's, it's all about.

(55:37):
You know sequence andtransitioning.
You know this right, how wefill in the house.
You just have to have flow.
Most people don't flow.
They don't, they don't workeffectively.
They go here, then here andhere, where it should go here
and here and here and here andhere.
And you, you say you're wastingtime, you're not being
efficient, productive.
So that's where we're at andthat's what we do.
And um, you know, I'm always.

(56:00):
Like I said, that's where itcomes back to sharpening that
blade of the savage and theservant.
You've got to sharpen it, right?
You know the analogy a samuraiwarrior will sharpen his sword
and hang it on the wall whenhe's done with it, but guess
what he does every day?
He continually sharpens it,even when no one's using it.
And one time his wife asked whydo you sharpen your blade if

(56:20):
you're no longer a warrior?
Because because one day I mayneed it, but I don't know, if I
don't look at it, if someoneelse used it.
So you always have to stayready.
Like shooting is a perishableskill, I go to the range.
I haven't been a seal since1990.
I got out in 2004 I mean,that's 20 years ago but I still

(56:41):
shoot, you know.
So I'm ready.
Look, just in case you getcrazy.
I'm ready, ready to go, just incase someone comes.
I'm ready.
Let's look at my phone rightthere, man, I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Hell yeah so that's awesome, dude man that's what I
got.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
That's who, that's.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
That's how we get shit done yeah, that's great
when when it talks about leadingyour family, right, we get
tired, we get stress, sometimeswe get distracted yeah you know
how do you keep going I, I keepgoing because I know where I've
come.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
I know how far I've come.
You know, and I think you, justyou set simple goals and rules.
Like case in point, what is oneof the biggest stress factors
that families have in a house?
Money.
Don't talk about money in frontof your children.
You know I don't yell at mywife in front of the kid, I mean
the others, the other things.
There's times and places andsegments for it.

(57:39):
You know my daughter goes to bedat a certain time.
That's when me and my wife willtalk, but if it's super
negative, it'll wait because Idon't like to go to bed angry.
I don't want to bed angry andthen die.
You know I want to go to bedlike the perfect world'd have
sex with my wife every nightbefore I went to bed.
Perfect world For a certaintime.
That don't happen when you'vebeen married 20 years, right,

(58:00):
but but seriously, I would.
But yeah, it's.
How do you deal with it?
By knowing how far you'veyou've come.
That's that's what I do, likecase in point, like if things
are bad, I've been through worse.
You, that's that's what I doLike case in point, like if
things are bad, I've beenthrough worse.
You've been through worse.
I mean the story we're talkingabout you.
There's a reason why you'restill here.
You know, after what happenedto you and what's happened to me

(58:22):
, I mean we're here for a reason.
So what is that reason?
We may never know, but our jobis to seek and search every day
until we get as close as we canto it.
You know, like we're chasingthe pot of gold, we're never
going to hit it, but we can surehave a fun ride doing it.

(58:42):
You know, and I want to createmore success and generational
wealth for my family and to helpout with churches and help
people and kids.
And I'm not going to stop, man,and I don't care.
If you know I tell people geton the Ray Cash Care Trainer,
get run over, because I'm notgoing to stop, man.
And I don't care if you know Itell people get on the Ray Cash
Carrier Trainer, get run over,because I'm not stopping.
I'm not going to stop.
You know I won't.
I love it.
I can't.
I'm not, I can't.
I just I owe it to everyonethat's supported me through the

(59:05):
years and I owe it to myself, to.
You know, I'm not going to be aquitter of me, I won't do it.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yeah, no, I love it, dude.
That's a powerful message, youknow.
Just not stopping and believingin yourself, betting on
yourself, Like that's huge, youknow, because if you can't do it
, who else is going to do itright?

Speaker 2 (59:25):
I'm telling you they're not.
They'll say they will.
They're waiting and watchingand wanting you to fail to see
how you react.
I fail, I wipe myself off.
Sometimes I don't even dustmyself off, I just get back up.
Let's go again.
They get punched in the face.
All right, you know, if youkeep hitting me with a jab, if I
don't cover, what's going tohappen?
Eventually it's going to put medown, or I'm going to learn

(59:45):
from it.
Right, I listened and I learned.
I quit on the, you know, quiton myself.
So I've got to do my things.
You see a little movement thatyou know.
Baby, come on.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
Oh yeah, Speaking of jabbing and covering, I remember
the smokers, that tall dudethat you was, that you you got
put up against and he had somelength on you and he was like he
was basically jabbing, jabbingand then you just came in with
this overhand right and justknocked him out.
That was such a great memory,that's right, 50 call.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
They call me 50 Cal afterwards, whoa, but that's.
That's how you gotta be, man.
Listen, we're no strangers tobeing outgunned and over man and
oversized, but how do we stillwin?
It's the power of just knowingwhat you're capable of.
Taking off the governor andjust fucking letting loose man.
That's what you got to do.
People just live each day tothe fullest.

(01:00:40):
That's what I do.
I mean, when I get off thephone with you, I'm gonna go
work out.
All right, I got well, I got abunch of shit going on with work
right now, but after thatworking out, you know, tomorrow
I've got my wrestling and thensunday we got our church.
It's yeah, I'm just going to bethe best version of me as long
as I can do it, until I can't doit anymore and then hopefully
I've made such an impact, youknow, I'll pass the torch over

(01:01:02):
to someone else.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Yeah, no, for sure I know you're.
I mean, I've I've seen some ofyour videos and and everything
that you're doing and it's it'sinspiring's inspiring.
You know, and even somebodythat's you know lived a similar
life that it's like I listen toyou talk and I'm like dude ray's
firing me up.
Man, I love it and you knowit's.

(01:01:24):
I think, when you have thatkind of impact and you know and
I'm sure you've had this happento you where, like people, they
say that you know you inspiredme, or you know you've done this
to me, or where, like people,they say that you know you
inspired me, or you know you'vedone this to me, or because of
you said this or this, whatever,like I, I've now done this.
It's like such a good feeling,like as a coach, as a man, where

(01:01:44):
you've been able to helpsomebody transform, whether it
be physically, mentally,whatever it is it's.
It's such a good feeling andsomething that I chase and that
I'm after, that I'm like I wantto help as many men as possible,
because I think there's a bigstruggle.
I think that you know a lot ofguys.
They struggle with business,family, fitness and just trying

(01:02:10):
to juggle it all Right, right,and that's the whole point of
the highly effective man.
And then talking about you know, surrounding yourself with
other people, like that's thewhole point of the community is
because when I left the teams,that was the one thing that I
missed the most was being aroundthe guys, the, the talking shit
, the, the having, you know, thefun, just the conversations

(01:02:31):
like we're having right now andjust the good times.
And having a brotherhood is, Ithink, an important piece to
your success.
You were talking about like yousurround yourself with guys
that are more successful thanyou because they're going to
push you Right, and I thinkthat's super important, right,

(01:02:52):
and getting that message out andjust being with people like
that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Cool, I've got a couple last minute questions
here.
So more like rapid fire, solike what's the hardest workout
you ever done?
Hardest?

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
workout I've ever done the Viking.
What's the Viking Uhiking?
Uh, it's a 5 000 meter row, 150tire swings with a 20 pound
sledge each arm mile and a halfrun back to the hammer hammers,
back to the, to the row.

(01:03:28):
And I did that in bogram athigh noon.
It killed me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:34):
Nice, I'll have to look that one up.
I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
It's actually we made it over at the agency.
I've got it.
If you want it, I've got a.
I've got a couple of them likethat I can send you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
Send it over.
I'll have some of the guys inthe community do it yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Greg Klein created it .
I don't know if he was still atthe team when you were there,
greg, or you Dodge.
Greg Klein, who's a SEAL, didit at STD, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
You know, what drives me nuts is that when I was in
Virginia Beach, right, likeobviously a lot of the team guys
like we all hang out a lot andwe get to know each other really
well, but then when I leftVirginia Beach we didn't have,
like, social media, we didn'thave all that stuff.
I left in 2002 and it's like Ilost contact with so many guys.

(01:04:18):
And you know, names come up,faces come up.
I'm like man, I know this guyfrom somewhere but I can't, you
know, place him.
And it drives me nuts.
Yeah, but favorite quote ormantra man in the arena Nice.
Man in the arena Nice.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Man in the arena by Teddy Roosevelt.

Speaker 1 (01:04:36):
Hell yeah, that's a great speech for sure.
What would you say is your bestlesson from failure?

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
My best lesson from failure is that there's always
tomorrow.
I failed so hard, I mean,there's been times I've failed
so hard.
I mean there's been times whenI've literally wanted to just
throw in a towel.
I've failed so much.
But you just get up tomorrowand it's a fresh start.
Man, Every day is a blessing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
I love it.
What's one thing every manshould do before 7 am?
50 push-ups, nice A book.
Every man should read the Bible.
Yeah, this is great, man.

(01:05:24):
Well, ray, I appreciate it.
Man, you and I, we go way back.
Oh yeah, man, I have some greatmemories with you and it's
awesome to see what you're doingnow.
You and I, we go way back.
Oh yeah, man, I have some greatmemories with you.
It's awesome to see what you'redoing now and seeing the impact
that you're having on people.
I see clips here and there andthen we catch up here and there,

(01:05:45):
which is awesome.
It's just great to actually getthis, to make it happen.
And you know, and just see you,we're both a little bit older,
but still kicking ass, and Ilove it.
Dude, this was amazing.
And if you could leave, youknow every man that's listening

(01:06:07):
to this, right, everybody thatlistens to this podcast what's
one message that you would saythat they need to hear today?
What would it be?

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Believe in yourself because you can do it.
That's it, oh yeah, so simpleman.
The power of belief will crushall.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Nice, all right.
All right, guys, if thisepisode fired you up, listen to
Ray, do the work, don't quit,bet on yourself and if you like
this episode, share it withsomebody that you think needs to
hear this.
Thanks for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.

(01:06:47):
I'm your host, jp Ray.
Thank you again.
I love it.
Great to see you, ian.
I love it Great to see you andlet's go.
Thank you for listening to theHighly Effective man podcast.
If you enjoyed or learnedsomething on this episode, do me
a favor and share this withsomebody who you think needs to
hear it.
And one last thing if you wantto work with me as your coach to

(01:07:08):
help you get fit, be moreproductive and, in general, just
be the most effective versionof yourself, you get fit, be
more productive and, in general,just be the most effective
version of yourself, head overto my site,
higherlevelcoachingco.
Once again, that'shigherlevelcoachingco and
schedule a call with me there.
Thank you again.
Let's go.